5 Traits of Awesomely Active Listeners (We Hear You!)

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“Listening is not merely hearing. Listening is reacting. Listening is being affected by what you hear.

Listening is active.”

-Michael Shurtleff, Broadway Casting Director Author of Audition

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We listen at 125-250 words per minute.

We think at 1,000-3,000 words per minute.http://www.prdaily.com/Main/Articles/Listening_facts_you_never_knew_14645.aspx#.

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That means if we don’t pay attentionto our listening in a conversation, ourmind can run away on us!

(Figuratively, of course.) www.ovationcomm.com @OvationComm

All conversations and relationship building activities benefit from good Active Listening.

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Active Listening keeps us present in a conversation, lets the speaker know they are being heard, and forges a connection through honest, focused interaction.

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Want to be a better Active Listener?

(Of course! We all do.)

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Here are 5 Traits of Awesomely Active Listeners that you can adopt for all of your communication.

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Good active listeners ask open-ended questions.

Trait 1:

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Open-ended questions show your conversation partner that you are interested in their experiences.

The best way to get a conversation going is to ask an open-ended question; one that can’t be answered with a simple “Yes” or “No”.

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Open-ended questions start with phrases like:

“What are your thoughts on…. ?”

“How do you feel about…?”

“How would you have handled…?”

If you are good at listening actively, you’re comfortable letting someone else share.

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Trait 2:

Good active listeners use the Head Nod.

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A Head Nod is visual proof that you are listening to what is being said.

Coupled with good open body language, your conversation partner knows you’re completely engaged.

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Did You Know? 

“Scientists call our ability to zero in on a single speaker amid a cacophony of other sounds the cocktail party problem.” – Mary Bates, brainfacts.org

http://www.brainfacts.org/Sensing-Thinking-Behaving/Awareness-and-Attention/Articles/2013/The-Cocktail-Party-Problem

We’ll drink to that!

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Trait 3:

Good active listeners use small verbal interjections while listening.

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While not an interruption, small, simple verbal responses help keep the conversation flowing.

They are the equivalent of saying “Yes! Tell me more!”

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Good verbal interjections include:

“Yes!”

“Right.” “MmmHmm.”

“Sure.”

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Trait 4:

Good active listeners use strong eye contact.

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Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean staring creepily at the speaker!

It DOES mean you should let your primary focus be the speaker, rather than letting your eyes wander around the room (or off into space!) for extended periods of time.

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Think in terms of three seconds:

Every three seconds or so, refresh your eye contact with a blink or a quick eye movement.

But remember your PRIMARY FOCUS should be the speaker!

Trait 5:

Good active listeners can comment and share when appropriate.

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Conversations are a two way street. As such, the listener and the speaker should trade on and off.

Truly awesomely active listeners can relate on-topic and empathize with the speaker because they’ve heard and internalized the speaker’s message.

That’s what makes things interesting!

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When it’s the Active Listener’s time to take the stage, they may share thoughts or stories that start with:

“That reminds me of the time….”

“I’m so glad you shared that…”

“May I tell you some thoughts that brought to mind?...”

“I hear what you are saying, but I don’t agree. Let me tell you why….”

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Awesomely active listening skills improve your communication across the board.

What do you think about that? Go on. We’re listening.

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For more totally actionable and completely doable professional skills content, visit us at www.ovationcomm.com, or follow us on Twitter @OvationComm. We’d be pleased to hear from you. #ForEveryStage

Or why not download “100 Instant Speech Topics” here?