This newsletter is brought to you by counselor in Section B+

Shmoozel Leemanov

What’s happenin’?

I’ll tell you. First of

all we had a grand

Shmyonke.

Sunday was IHE

with someone who

was able to read our

minds, and magically

speak to the whole

camp without a mike.

We also took a grand

camp photo, which no

one has ever seen.

Monday we were

about to take another

picture, when they

chased us into Shul

and split us into two

teams!

That night we

w a t c h e d

s c a v e n g e r s

which had old

p e o p l e ,

Shvartzes and a

chicken.

Tuesday, the

first play had a

hooded figure and a

train.

The second play had

kings and Malochim.

Wednesday after two

Halacha chicken

skits, we dressed up

as patients, Indians,

Chinese and Arabs.

We walked in

t h r o u g h a n d

ambulance and 770,

and sang and

laughed the entire

night!

Thursday was the

grand trip with 90

foot water slides,

tornados and toilet

bowls.

The winners of color

war were announced

in the wave pool.

Now camp is ending

with playoffs in full

swing.

A Gut Yohr!

Looking for someone to

turn on a water park. Call

1-800-LAST-YEAR

Need a dictionary? Call 1-

800-IS-IT-GRAND-SCENE

-OR-SING

Still looking for someone to

help make this newsletter.

Call 1-800-TOO-LATE

Classifieds

My Endeh Reid

א טפח העכער Issue 6 שבת קודש פרשת ראה

מחנה גן ישראלב“קיץ תשע

ד“בס

How to meet a

deadline on time

453

When there was no

bathroom on the bus

689

How campers get to

work in PA & canteen

475

The meaning behind

Kie Kapisey

474

Entertain yourself on

a 10 hour bus ride

967

How to close a

suitcase

586

Gan Yisroel! Next

year in Eretz Yisroel!

596

Inside this issue:

A special thank you

to

OMZR

LTENB

For all their input!

the staff can have fun putting it

up during the night.

4) M a k e a r a f f l e b e f o r e

announcing the winners.

5) Don’t let the campers know

these rules.

6) If they found out, then make

them leave camp!

1) To keep campers calm during

the grand sing, have them run

around for an hour before the

grand sing to let out their

energy.

2) Make sure there is no red cloth

used throughout color war to

save a few pennies.

3) Have a lot of extra cloth so that

Halochos for color war

“Hellllllllllllloooooooooooooo! Open

up! Open up I said!” “who goes

there?”, “It’s me, the Shlemazal

from Yehupitz!”. “What?! The

Shlemazal from Yehupitz thinks he

can just come knocking on the door

of the king’s chamber like that? GO

HOME!”.

“Hey there king, how’s life?” “B”H

doing great”, “what’s your favorite

activity of the day?”, “learning

classes!”. “Learning classes?! Are

you crazy?”, “no I’m just actually,

thinking of why I was put into this

world. You see, in the beginning I

thought that sports is it all, then I

realized that the things that are

really going to stay with me are,

Guess what? Actually the things

that we Farbrenged about and

learnt! And that the Rebbe is

guiding me so lovingly – therefore-

in all my actions a Chosid I’ll strive

to be, that is the flame of Gan

Yisroel, which will burn in my

heart, from you I will never

depart!”.

Hey! How did he start talking to the

king all of a sudden? I thought they

weren’t gonno let him in?

Heheheheheheheh, you didn’t

realize that the king is in the field.

He’s not closed up in his palace any

more, he is accessible to all, even

the shlemazal from Yehupitz!

Yes! That’s what Elul (The new

Hebrew month starting this

Shabbos) is all about. The king is in

the field, out in the open, with no

doors and silver-foil faced soldiers

around him, you can go straight up

to him, and say: Hello I’m Mendel,

and I want to be close to you. And

guess what not only doesn't the king

send you flying, he actually smiles

at you with a big wide open smile,

and invites you straight into his

palace = Eretz Yisroel, more

precisely Yerushalaim, more

precisely The Beis Hamikdash,

more precisely The Koidesh

Hakodoshim, with the coming of

Moshiach, which by now, after that

amazing Color War – we know, IS

COMING, RIGHT NOW! ‘CUSE

THE SIMANIM OF GEULAH ARE

HERE, AND THE REBBE SAID

AS A NOVI THAT MOSHIACH’S

COMING IN A HURRY! Right here!

A N O V I M H I G I A Z M A N

GEULASCHEM! (Smile we won!)

Most people don’t really

understand what that is

supposed to mean, and they are

still trying to figure out an

answer to this question.

We here at A Tefach Hecher

were busy thinking of an answer

ourselves, and have come up

with the following solution:

When you throw something on a

bus that is moving forward, why

doesn’t it fly backwards?

Some say that it has to do with

the fact that the bus is

considered a room, and therefore

no matter what is happening

outside, the inside stays the

same.

The bus has four tires which are

connected to the bottom of the

bus, the middle of the bus is

connected to the bottom of the

bus, and the top of the bus is

connected to the middle of the

bus.

And that is why it doesn’t fly

backwards, it’s as simple as that!

Open up!

Science for Oholei-Torah’nicks

Page 2 א טפח העכער

This week we asked the following question to 1414 random campers and here are the results:

What is the definition of Chayus?

67% Punching the air

45% Shaking back and forth

87% Wild animals

0.1% Doing Mitzvos Mit A Bren

Most repeated chant of

the summer:

Kents Menashe(k)

ATH: What has to be done to

take care of you?

CJS: Well I need the help of

basically every staff member in

camp.

ATH: Until when do you need

to be taken care of?

CJS: I was hoping they would

finish taking care of me a couple

of days ago, but all the staff were

busy with color war and the

grand trip.

ATH: How are you now?

CJS: They finished during the

eighteen minutes before Shabbos

and I’m all ready to go!

ATH: Really?

CJS: I hope so!

ATH: Any final words?

CJS: All my final and first words

are going to be written all over

me.

ATH: What is your name?

CJS: C’mon you can’t figure it

out?

ATH: Really I could, but it

would be weird if I say it,

because usually the one I am

interviewing says it.

CJS: This time I’ll let you say it.

ATH: You are the Camp

Journal Shlita!

CJS: Good job! I hope you enjoy

me when I come out!

ATH: How are you?

CJS: Very good B”H! The staff

are giving me a lot of attention!

ATH: Did they always give

you attention?

CJS: Well in the beginning of the

first month no one thought about

me.

ATH: No one?

CJS: Maybe one head staff

member.

ATH: Who?

CJS: Mendy Marlow. He even

mentioned me to the staff by the

end of the first month.

ATH: What happened second

month?

CJS: They started giving me

more attention, but it wasn’t

until a week ago that I really

started getting taken care of.

An interview

Halacha of the week:

When Davening one

should remain in one

place.

Issue 6 Page 3

Explanations: 1) Imitating Ohel Mickey

2) After sandbox accident camper

found after spending days

underground

3) Practicing for the color war play

4) Trying to hide from the head

counselors