Sperm are single-purposed: They're optimized to get to an egg and
inseminate it. But that doesn't mean there isn't more to this cell than
meets the ovum. Sperm, along with its travelling companion, semen, are
surprisingly versatile and adaptable substances. Here are eight
unconventional things you can do with human sperm.
1. Skin softener
Sperm contains an anti-oxidant called spermine
(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16107320) that is thought to
diminish wrinkles, smooth the skin, and help with acne. Looking to take
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advantage of these much sought after attributes, a Norwegian company
called Bioforskning (you can't make this stuff up) has synthesized the
compound and is selling it as a facial cream (http://nymag.com
/news/intelligencer/56941/). These, uh, spermine facials
(http://www.cosmopolitan.com/hairstyles-beauty/beauty-
blog/spermine-facials) cost $250 and can be ordered through Townhouse
Spa (http://nymag.com/listings/beauty/townhouse-spa/), or for $125
Graceful Services (http://nymag.com/listings/beauty
/graceful_services/).
2. Cooking
Those looking to take their culinary skills to the next level should check
out a book by Fotie Photenhauer called Natural Harvest
(http://www.lulu.com/shop/fotie-photenhauer/natural-harvest-
a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/paperback/product-
20052760.html), a collection of semen-based recipes. The book
description:
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Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful
texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and
cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is
inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if
not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive
qualities, semen remains neglected as a food.
This book hopes to change that.
Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be
surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen.
Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you
make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and
are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will
love this cook book!
3. Painting
Artist Martin Von Ostrowski (http://www.martinvonostrowski.de/) is
known for using bodily fluids as his paint mediums (including his
infamous portrait of Hitler made from his own excrement). Back in 2008,
Von Ostrowski put out an exhibition (http://www.thelocal.de/society
/20081223-16325.html) at the Gay Museum in Berlin in which he
featured works painted with his own semen. A single painting requires
about 40 ejaculations, which, given the size of the exhibition, suggests
that he needed to ejaculate at least 1,000 times. Impressive! Von
Ostrowski is able to keep these large quantities of sperm fresh by freezing
it.
4. Invisible ink
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Back during World War I, the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6)
discovered that semen could act as an effective invisible ink
(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8015180/MI6-used-bodily-
fluids-as-invisible-ink.html). In June 1915, Walter Kirke, deputy head of
military intelligence in France, wrote in his diary that chief Mansfield
Cumming (yes), was "making enquiries for invisible inks at the London
University." Rumor at the time had it that semen worked particularly
well, and follow-up studies showed that it did not react to the usual
methods of detection (including iodine vapor). It was also readily
available for any intrepid secret service agent willing to make the
sacrifice. The practice went into use, but it was noted that on at least one
occasion that an agent had to be reminded to use only fresh supplies of
the "ink" when people started noticing an unusual smell.
5. An anti-Depressant for women
Another potential application for semen is its use as an anti-depressant.
This idea is quite controversial but there is a modicum of scientific
evidence to support it. A study done back in 2002
(http://www.springerlink.com/content/wrkl9lc5ueu43rh8/?MUD=MP)
showed that women who were directly exposed to semen were less
depressed. The researchers concluded that this was on account of
mood-altering hormones in the semen being absorbed through the vagina
and that they had ruled out other explanations (New Scientist didn't
entirely agree proposing a number of their own
(http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2457-semen-acts-as-
an-antidepressant.html)). That said, as Jesse Bering has pointed out
(http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/2010/09/22/an-
ode-to-the-many-evolved-virtues-of-human-semen/), "there's good in
this goo":
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In fact, semen has a very complicated chemical profile,
containing over 50 different compounds (including
hormones, neurotransmitters, endorphins and
immunosupressants) each with a special function and
occurring in different concentrations within the seminal
plasma. Perhaps the most striking of these compounds is the
bundle of mood-enhancing chemicals in semen...Such
anxiolytic chemicals include, but are by no means limited to,
cortisol (known to increase affection), estrone (which elevates
mood), prolactin (a natural antidepressant), oxytocin (also
elevates mood), thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another
antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent) and even
serotonin (perhaps the most well-known antidepressant
neurotransmitter).
6. Ovulation control
A recent study (http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/08
/15/1206273109.abstract?sid=2e631d6c-b053-4f5b-
8540-3d6d4babab89) at the University of Saskatchewan has discovered
that a protein in semen acts on the female brain to prompt ovulation
and that it's the same molecule that regulates the growth, maintenance,
and survival of nerve cells. As a result, it's very possible that semen acts
as a hormonal signal, working through the hypothalamus of the female
brain and the pituitary gland. This in turn triggers the release of other
hormones that signal the ovaries to release an egg.
7. Help with morning sickness
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Okay, this is probably the last thing a woman is thinking about when
she's suffering through morning sickness, but psychologist Gordon
Gallup at SUNY-Albany, a male member of the human species who
specializes in human reproductive competition and behavior, is
suggesting that oral sex could serve as a kind of cure. Gordon theorizes
that expectant women become ill and vomit because their bodies are
rejecting the sperm's genetic material as something foreign and
unfamiliar (http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science
/2012/07/morning_sickness_can_more_sex_help_.3.html). His idea,
which was presented at 2012 Northeastern Evolutionary Psychology
Society (http://neepsociety.com/facebook/), suggests that women can
build up their immunity by ingesting the sperm of the baby's father.
Gallup's conclusion is a bit hard to swallow, but there's also a scientific
study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10706945) supporting the
idea that oral sex can reduce the incidence of preeclampsia in pregnant
women.
8. Archival storage of information
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In what gives new meaning to the
term "hard drive", human sperm
a transmitter of DNA could
be used to store information a
lot of information. We recently
reported (http://io9.com
/5935415/why-dna-is-the-future-
of-data-storage) on a
breakthrough by Sriram Kosui
and his team at Harvard and
Johns Hopkins in which he
devised a technique for archiving
information in DNA. The process,
which takes advantage of DNA's
data sequencing attributes, could
be used to store as much as one
petabyte of data (one petabyte =
1,024 terabytes) in a volume of 1.5
mg of DNA. Because genetic
information can be packaged in three dimensions, that equates to a
storage volume of about one cubic millimeter so you'll finally have a
secure and ironic place to store your massive digital porn collection.
Image credits: Josh Resnick/Shutterstock.com
(http://Shutterstock.com), Here (http://www.worldsstrangest.com
/mental-floss/8-artists-who-poured-their-heart-and-soul-into-their-
work-also-their-blood-and-urine/), here (http://www.dailystab.com
/mike-myers-signs-on-for-austin-powers-4/), here
(http://www.sanger.ac.uk/about/press/2007/071202.html), here
(http://b4tea.blogspot.ca/2011/12/best-ways-to-cope-with-morning-
sickness.html).
Think the
memory card in
your camera is
high-capacity? It's got nothing on
DNA. With data accumulating at a
faster rate now than any other point
Read (http://io9.com/5935415
/why-dna-is-the-future-of-data-
storage)
(http://io9.com
/5935415
/why-dna-
is-the-
future-
of-data-
storage)
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Like 7.7k
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This misogynistic post was
written by a man. A little quip
about using SEMEN (not sperm,
stupid) as a face cream might
have passed. But, antidepressant?
There is NO valid science here.
This is a disgusting waste of
internet space. I find it offensive.
In the current political climate
where women's rights and
viewpoints are being reviled by
the GOP as irrelevant and
inconsequential, this is in very,
very poor taste. Badly done, IO9.
Badly
done
.
How would you define "valid
science" other than published in a
peer reviewed journal
(http://www.springerlink.com
/content/wrkl9lc5ueu43rh8
/?MUD=MP)? It may or may not
ultimately turn out to be correct,
but there doesn't seem to be
anything wrong with the science.
Plus, I do hope you can see the
irony in "This misogynistic post
was written by a
man.
"
George, you gave image credits
for all except the last image of
DNA... which is the most
interesting; provenance
appreciated... unless, it is Josh
Resnick's image, in which case I
would like to know how to see
more than a
thumbnail
.
Going to the linked article in the
related section, it looks like it is
from
Shutterstock
.
brilliant.
thanks
.
Oh, please. There is no,
"modicum of scientific evidence
to support" the idea that sperm
has any affect on depression in
women. This sad, pathetic,
misogynistic little theory is like
the "blue balls" plea that boys
used to use in high school. I can't
believe you're actually posting
this crap. Too bad more men
aren't limber enough to
self-fellate. That would solve a lot
of
problems
.
actually...
http://www.popsci.com/science
/article/2011-05/controversial-
ideas-semen-natures-
antidepressant
http://www.lmgtfy.com
/?q=sperm+antidepressan
t
Phoning Hollywood studios
pitching story of Brave British
intelligence officers proudly
wanking for freedom as soon as I
settle on appropriate title. Maybe
Thunderballs
?
How about "A Few Good
Wankers?
"
Solve problems? Productivity
would grind to a
halt
!
What no suggestion to use sperm
as hair
ge
l
Ha! Forgot about
that...
.
Forward to every woman in the
world
.
I am so getting that cook book as
a gag gift for someone, I just hope
I never have the pleasure of
trying anything of the
recipes
.
Don't accept any dinner
invitations after giving them the
book as a
gift
.
This was written by a man, hmm,
how
convenient..
.
Good for you! Hopefully you can
move on to a new girlfriend who
would not need this article to
begin
with..
.
io9 cannot be held responsible for
any ill-advised forwarding of this
article
:-
)
Speaking as a manufacturer of
this stuff, here are my reactions:
1) This must be staggeringly
expensive if human semen is
involved. The average guy barely
produces more than a few
teaspoons of the stuff in an
ejaculation. And, like many
cosmetics, there is almost no
evidence that any of it does
anything.
2) The stuff tastes like salty snot!
What, too much information?
Let's be honest here. If it tasted
like ketchup, wasabi, chocolate
syrup or something, maybe we'd
have something. Semen sucks as
a condiment. And again, it must
be pretty damn expensive or time
consuming to get enough to cook
on a industrial scale.
3) This only hammers home how
hard it is to get enough of this
stuff. That and the artist is an
eccentric.
4) Holy ned. I guess this just
emphasizes what a desperate
time the Second World War was.
5) This research is still far from
conclusive, if true at all. Frankly
I'm very skeptical.
And if it's down to one chemical
in semen having a mood leveling
property in the insanely complex
neurochemistry of women (And
Not that I'll be ordering semen
burgers anytime soon, and seeing
as I cook 98% of all meals in our
households, it's not likely to
become a regular thing in our
diet
.
(/)
Would you care for some ... on
your fries
sir/madam
?
Such a scary article topic for a
commenting system that allows
anonymous posting. But i shall
not be dissuaded and will use this
as another place to post a related
QI
clip
!
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I do note this quote:
Gallup, however, admitted to
Clark-Flory that evidence of
semen's antidepressant qualities
is "largely correlational,"
And if he's not waving the flag for
causation, who's left to do it?
And is that you haven't met
misogynistic women, or that they
don't write posts? I haven't spent
much time on Jez, but I bumped
into more than one such author
there
.
let's not forget guys, that our
neurochemistry is just as insanely
complex.), pharmaceutical plants
can manufacture that chemical in
vast quantities much more
efficiently. My skepticism stem
from how hugely indirect all this
stuff is.
6) This is all kind of obvious
actually. No surprises or
comments here. Although the
science in the actual mechanisms
behind this is probably very
interesting.
7) See number five. This stuff is
still far from conclusive. I remain
skeptical.
8) This is not remarkable and
hardly confined to spermatozoa.
Pretty much any cell can be used
to store huge amount of
information in its
DNA
.
Why would you need huge
quantities of it? Maybe you could
see it as more of a vitamin pill
than anything else. You don't eat
huge quantities of vitamin pills
every day do you?
Taste is highly subjective so that's
a poor argument.
Also why would you trust
pharmaceutical plants more than
a natural substance? A lot of
nutrition like dairy products for
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example are about all the
multitude of different compounds
being in balance with each other,
vitamins, minerals, fatty acids,
proteins, sugars, enzymes etc, in
order for assimilation and benifit
to take place.
I'm not saying this is something
everyone should look into, and I
would probably not drink it
myself being a male, but you need
to think outside the box
sometimes, not just reinforce old
taboos
.
"Why would you need huge
quantities of it?"
This question assumes a couple of
things that are by no means
conclusively proven:
1) I am highly skeptical that
human sperm has any beneficial
cosmetic effects. Show me a few
huge sample size, double blind
FDA studies, and maybe, maybe,
I'll change my mind.
2) If there is a beneficial effect,
we don't have any idea at all how
much will be needed. You say it
might be small but this is no
more certain than my saying that
it might need huge quantities.
"You don't eat huge quantities of
vitamin pills every day do you?"
See point two above. We have no
idea how much is needed to have
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any effect, never mind that we
have no idea it has any effect at
all.
"Also why would you trust
pharmaceutical plants more
than a natural substance?"
Because chemically there is
absolutely no difference. Cow's
milk made by gene-tweaked
bacteria is identical to milk
straight from a cows udder.
"Taste is highly subjective so
that's a poor argument."
Well, going by stuff I've
frequently read in Dan Savage's
column, the general opinion by
men and women, is that human
semen really isn't the most
pleasant tasting stuff there is on
this planet. And having tasted
some of my ownWhat? Too
much information again?salty
snot seems pretty accurate.
But hey, yeah, there are actually
people who like anchovies on
pizzano accounting for taste, I'll
give you that one.
Anyway, the cosmetics industry is
rife with bullshit claims
concerning medicinal benefits. If
these were really true, many
cosmetics would be regulated
entirely differently than many
currently
are
.
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