PLAYHOUSE OF SPIES

A Film Treatment

Starring

Liza Minnellj.

by

ANTHONY SHAFFER

Second D r a f t March, 1 9 8 9 .

1.

NOTES

i) The " b u i l d i n g b locks" of t h i s f i l m are L i z a Minne l l i , t h e London B l i t z i n 1 9 4 0 ; t h e Windmill Thea t r e ; and a spy s t o r y w i t h the somewhat na ive b u t i n t r i g u i n g f l a v o u r of t h e e a r l y Hi tchcock f i l m s , "The Lady Vanishes" , and "Fore ign Correspondent" . The Windmill Thea t r e - a t a t t y v a u d e v i l l e house i n t h e West End f e a t u r i n g immobile nudes - w a s t h e o n l y t h e a t r e a l lowed by t h e B r i t i s h government t o remain open a t t h a t t i m e i n o r d e r t o "reduce t h e r i s k of heavy bombing c a s u a l t i e s " . Why, t h e Windmill of a l l t h e a t r e s i n London, i s t h e key t o t h i s f i l m .

ii) The d i a logue i s n o t n e c e s s a r i l y t h a t which w i l l be used i n the sc reenp lay . For t h e most p a r t it p l a y s a n a r r a t i v e and demons t r a t ive p a r t i n t h i s t r ea tmen t .

iii) The s ta te of S I S ( S e c r e t I n t e l l i g e n c e S e r v i c e ) as desc r ibed by S tewar t t o Mal t r ave r s i s a c t u a l l y t r u e . And so is C h u r c h i l l ' s t h r e a t t o d i sband t h e s e r v i c e and hand i t over t o t h e three heads of t h e armed forces i f it d i d n ' t do be t t e r . (The a c t u a l head o f S I S i n 1 9 4 0 was S i r S t ewar t Menzies ) .

2.

The time is September 1940. The battle of Britain is in its final stage, and the London blitz about to start. The city is battened down for the coming assault. Windows are taped, buildings sandbagged, helmeted ARP wardens mingle everywhere in the streets amongst the uniformed troops whose governments have sought refuge in London, from many lands newly conquered by the Nazis - Poles, Danes, Norwegians, Dutch, Belgians, and most recently Frenchmen. Most importantly to us, all the theatres are closed by government decree to reduce the risk of heavy bombing casualties through many people congregating in a particular building.

In the credit; sequence we briefly meet Bertie Maltravers - a florid, middle aged, pin stripe suited caricature of a gentleman, with his jaunty buttonhole, furled brolly, platinum cigarette holder, and flashy gold ring of entwined serpents with ruby eyes. He repeatedly suborns the Home Office, and through them Scotland Yard, to let him re-open the Windmill Tehatre - a somewhat s l e a z y Vaudeville house featuring comics, and immobile nudes, near Piccadilly circus, and of which he is the resident producer and director. In each case he stresses the cultural aesthetic and morally uplifting contents of his shows, but nonetheless he is continuously turned down flat. The government simply will not re-open the theatre.

We move to Whitehall to meet Churchill at a cabinet meeting with the three heads of staff for the Army, Navy and Airforce, the Home Secretary and the 55 year old distinguished looking Head of the Secret Intelligence Service (M16) Sir Malcolm Stewart.

The Prime Minister is furious. He confesses to a profound disappointment with the Secret Intelligence Service. The government and Armed Services are getting the very minimum of information frorn.thern it seems - for example the Russians make a pact with Hitler, and the government is the last to hear of it.

3 .

S t e w a r t p l eads t h a t t h e l i g h t n i n g advance of t h e Germans has des t royed h i s European and Scandinavian networks. Heads of S t a t i o n , and s u p p o r t s t a f f have a l l been cap tu red , o r have f l e d t o n e u t r a l c o u n t r i e s , and there

w e r e no cont ingency p l a n s t o c r e a t e s t a y behind networks - t he re w a s n o t even a supply of r a d i o se t s t o h e l p e x i s t i n g agen t s remain i n p l a c e .

C h u r c h i l l i s s h o r t w i t h him. "DO you want t o t e l l t h a t t o t h e Hun when they g e t here?" he s n a r l s , and goes on t o t h r e a t e n t o t a k e S IS away from h i m , and hand it over t o t h e c o n t r o l of t h e t h r e e f i g h t i n g services u n l e s s he p u t s h i s house i n o r d e r i n no more t h a n a month.

The scene e n d s wi th C h u r c h i l l advoca t ing a m o r e r e l a x e d p o l i c y i n r ega rd t o p u b l i c e n t e r t a i n m e n t i n o r d e r t o keep t h e c i v i l i a n p o p u l a t i o n a s r e l a x e d as p o s s i b l e du r ing t h e forthcoming bombardment. "We're i n f o r h e l l , " he says "and w e are going t o need a l l t h e a s s i s t a n c e w e can g e t t o f o r t i f y o u r r e s o l v e . "

A s t hey l e a v e Downing S t r e e t , S t e w a r t c o n f e r s w i t h t h e Home S e c r e t a r y , and it i s decided t h a t t h e l a t t e r w i l l t e l l Be r t i e Mal t r ave r s t h a t h i s p r a y e r s have been answered, and t h a t t h e Windmill T h e a t r e w i l l be al lowed t o re-open - t h e only one i n London, b u t t h a t he must c l e a r l y understand t h a t t h e l i c e n c e t o re-open i s s u b j e c t t o t h e i n s t r u c t i o n s of t h e head of SIS S i r M a l c o l m S t e w a r t . B e r t i e Mal t r ave r s is b a f f l e d by t h i s , b u t a g r e e s on promise of an e x p l a n a t i o n from S t e w a r t . The Home S e c r e t a r y t e l l s him he looks forward t o h i s promised t a s t e f u l l y and a e s t h e t i c a l l y des igned show.

The c r ed i t sequence ends w i t h t h e marquee on t h e f acade of t h e IJindmill Thea t r e l i g h t i n g up i n f l a s h i n g b u l b s . It r e a d s Windmill T h e a t r e Revuedevi l le . 1 2 E x c i t i n g Nudes. P a n t i e s I n f e r n o .

Above it on t h e r o o f , t h e sa i l s o f a l a r g e Windmill picked o u t i n b u l b s t u r n m a j e s t i c a l l y . An a i r r a i d warden shouts f o r t h e l i g h t s t o be lowered t o comply

4.

wi th t h e b lackout r e g u l a t i o n s , and as t h i s i s done w e hear t h e vo ice of L i z a Minnel l i s i n g i n g a s t i r r i n g d e f i a n t wartime song, and t h e n c u t i n s i d e t o see h e r i n t h e c h a r a c t e r of t h e gamine, ragamuff in L e e Sab le , s t r u t t i n g about on t h e s t a g e r ehea r s ing i n a sequined , skimpy b a t t l e d r e s s costume, a g a i n s t a background of immobile nudes s p o r t i n g m i l i t a r y a c c e s s o r i e s such as

t i n h a t s , gas masks, cava l ry boots , swagger s t i c k s e tc . C h a r l i e Hope t h e r e s i d e n t p i a n i s t and composer accompanies from t h e p i t .

I n t h e s t a l l s s i ts Ber t i e Maltravers d i r e c t i n g t h e r e h e a r s a l . H e i s f lanked by Nugent R e i l l y t h e f e y , homosexual choreographer , and M i s s Sandelson, t h e t h e a t r e ' s e l d e r l y , grey-haired, e c c e n t r i c owner.

L e e i s succeeded by t w o q u i t e awful Northern comics r e p l e t e wi th jokes of a s ton i sh ing a n t i q u i t y (Sample: "She 's a good g i r l r e a l l y . She only swears when it s l i p s o u t ! " ) , and then t h e g i r l s resume w i t h an "Olden Tymes" number, posing nude a s Henry t h e e i g t h ' s s i x wives i n Tudor headgear.

S i r Malcolm S t e w a r t , fhe head of SIS appears i n t h e audi tor ium, and beckons t o Maltravers , who leaves t h e rehearsal t o Nugent R e i l l y , and goes off w i t h him.

Lee j o i n s M i s s Sandelson i n t h e audi tor ium, and i n t h e course of conversa t ion it emerges t h a t n o t on ly i s M i s s Sandelson t h e owner of t h e theatre , b u t has a secret l u s t t o perform. She has succeeded on a number of occas ions i n a c t u a l l y g e t t i n g on t h e s t a g e d i s g u i s e d v a r i o u s l y a s Humpty Dumpty, a Chinese j u g g l e r , and a boxing kangaroo. N o w s h e begs Nugent t h e choreographer , t o l e t he r r ehea r se he r dancing bear r o u t i n e , w h i l e Mal t ravers who would undoubtedly f o r b i d i t , i s away. Egged on by t h e outrageous L e e Sable , he r e l u c t a n t l y ag rees and she h u r r i e s o f f j u b i l a n t l y t o change.

5.

M a l c o l m S t e w a r t and B e r t i e Ma l t r ave r s ascend t h e s t a i r - case of t h e t h e a t r e t o t h e c l u b room, and e v e n t u a l l y t h e r o o f , p a s s i n g d r e s s i n g rooms, c a r p e n t r y , e lec t r ica l , s cene p a i n t i n g and costume rooms on t h e r o u t e as they f i g h t t h e i r way upwards through hordes of nude and s e m i nude chorus g i r l s .

Once on t h e r o o f , sur rounded by sandbags, and a n t i f i rebomb equipment, S i r M a l c o l m e x p l a i n s t o Ber t i e what he has a l r e a d y communicated t o t h e P r i m e M i n i s t e r about t h e d i s s o l u t i o n of S I S by t h e r a p i d German advance, and t h e t h rea t t o remove i t f r o m h i s c o n t r o l , and g i v e it t o , i n h i s o p i n i o n , e n t i r e l y t he wrong people , should he

fail t o g e t it working e f f i c i e n t l y . N o t wanting t h e

h u m i l i a t i o n of s e e k i n g h e l p from t h e European I n t e l l i g e n c e Services t h a t had been e x i l e d t o Europe, and who s t i l l

had f a i t h i n S I S , he had dec ided t o use t h e Windmill Thea t r e as a covert r e c r u i t i n g c e n t r e t o co-opt new fo re ign a g e n t s as soon as p o s s i b l e .

"Why d o n ' t you j u s t go s t r a i g h t t o t h e camps, and t a l k d i r e c t l y t o t h e fore ign t r o o p ' s CO's?"asks Mal t ravers .

"Because it would d i s i l l u s i o n them," S t e w a r t e x p l a i n s . "Once t h e y d i s c o v e r e d t h e e x t e n t of o u r weakness i n t h e f i e l d , t h e i r f a i t h i n t h e i r new home as a v i a b l e

f i g h t i n g force would be undermined, and t h e i r own war e f f o r t s would be s e v e r e l y a f f e c t e d . " I t i s b e s t t o do i t c o v e r t l y in t h e way he sugges t s .

M a l t r a v e r s i s unde r s t andab ly b a f f l e d and a sks how it could p o s s i b l y work.

"I a s k you" s a y s S i r S t e w a r t , "What do t h e s e thousands of troops - Poles, Dutchmen, Be lg ians , Norwegians, Danes and Frenchmen have i n common? Two t h i n g s - an i n t i m a t e knowledge of t h e i r own homelands, and a common i n t e r e s t i n crumpet, t a i l , o r a s our American c o u s i n s might p u t it, a p i e c e o f ass. Ergo, if t h i s i s t h e only thea t re open i n London, and i t g i v e s sex shows, t h e y must f i n d t h e i r way here. 'I

6 .

Maltravers demures at the words sex shows.

"Alright, ' I concedes Stewart "good, clean, morally uplifting, aesthetically stimulating pussy shows, but they'll still find their way here."

He goes on to explain that his men can recruit and assess them inthe club room and theatre.

Maltravers still doesn't understand how he proposes to assess them, and Stewart goes on to explain the advant- ages of the nudes not being able to move. arranged to form and hold patterns which can be read by members of the audience, many of whom as members of the armed services are trained in signalling. Other ways of communicating are of course semaphore and morse. "Tap dancing morse should be rather f u n , " he concludes.

They can be

Maltravers protests.

"DO you mean to say you are going to use my girls to .send messages from the stage to foreign troops in the audience? I' he blusters. "It I s actually preposterous I 'I

But Stewart re-assures him.

"Don't worry about it," he says. "They won't be serious messages. Only test stuff to see if the people we have our eyes on are good enough for example to receive and remember a simple message and a c t on it. If they're not," he explains patiently, "they could p u t even the few people we have already got in jeopardy."

"What will you do if they fail the tests?" asks the appalled Maltravers.

"See they take a long leave of absence," r e p l i e s Stewart with cheerful, yet sinister emphasis.

Maltravers asks if the girls will know what's going on.

7 .

" O f course n o t , " says S t e w a r t . "Nor w i l l t h e stage s t a f f know my men w i l l be working backs tage , as choreographers , costumiers e t c . l 1

"1 d o n ' t l i k e it, I t says Mal t ravers .

"Would you rather I c losed you down?" asks S tewar t ominously.

Mal t ravers c a p i t u l a t e s , and t o g e t h e r they r e t u r n t o t h e

audi tor ium where Miss Sandelson i n he r bea r costume i s caper ing w i l d l y , on t h e s t a g e . Lee Sab le i s applaud- i n g e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y , bu t Nugent eyes t h e a r r i v i n g Mal t ravers apprehensively.

"Thank you, M i s s Sandelson," he c a l l s o u t c o l d l y , "That w i l l do."

"DO l e t h e r go on , " p l e a d s L e e , b u t Ma l t r ave r s i s ad t.

"It d o e s n ' t do t o encourage h e r , " he says b l e a k l y . "Once she came on i n a goose costume i n t h e middle of the

changing of t h e guard number. I t completely r u i n e d it."

"It b r o u g h t t h e h o u s e down," Miss Sandelson s a y s from t h e

depths of t h e bear costume.

" I ' m s u r e it d i d , " says L e e . "That changing t h e guards number i s p r e t t y goddamed bor ing , i f you ask m e . "

" W e l l I ' m n o t snaps Mal t r ave r s . " I t ' s v e r y h i s t o r i c a l ,

most t a s t e f u l , and h igh ly e d u c a t i o n a l . "

H e t u r n s away t o be in t roduced t o Nugent R e i l l y , by S t e w a r t ,

a s being "one of h i s boys who w i l l be h e l p i n g t o ensu re t h a t t h e audience w i l l r e c e i v e every nuance t h a t w e want it t o receive."

H e winks as Maltravers shakes h i s head i n profound apprehension.

8 .

W e c u t away t o L e e ' s f l a t h i g h up i n a Soho b u i l d i n g . I t i s somewhat more l u x u r i o u s t h a n h e r s l e n d e r means would normally a l l o w h e r t o a f ford , because i n t h e b l i t z London was h a l f evacua ted , r e n t s s t r i c t l y c o n t r o l l e d , and apa r tmen t s on t h e t o p s of bu id ings no t g r e a t l y s o r t a f t e r f o r obvious r e a s o n s of s a f e t y . She i s performing fo r h e r Burmese ca t - p r a c t i c i n g a p o r t e n t o u s n e w s r e e l commentator 's i n f l e c t i o n f o r a vo ice ove r job s h e ' s a l r e a d y l a t e f o r .

I n a f l u r r y of m i s a p p l i e d make up, shucked on c l o t h e s , and randomly selected a c c e s s o r i e s , she r u n s from t h e apar tment , a s s u r i n g t h e cat t h a t s h e ' s o n l y doing t h e v o i c e ove r s e s s i o n f o r it - a f t e r a l l f i v e pounds buys an awful l o t of c a t chow.

She f l i e s a l o n g Wardour S t r e e t doing v o i c e e x e r c i s e s o u t l oud t o r e l a x h e r t h r o a t , t h e r e b y a t t r a c t i n g t h e

a t t e n t i o n of many p a s s i n g p e d e s t r i a n s .

I n t h e o f f i c e s of Cosmic N e w s , Joe H a t r i c k , a w e l l se t

up, handsome American man of about 35 s i t s i n a darkened s c r e e n i n g room watching f i l m he has s h o t . W e see t h e

opening c red i t s , C o s m i c N e w s September 1 9 4 0 . P re sen ted from London by J o e H a t r i c k . The Eyes and E a r s of t h e F ree World.

L e e e n t e r s q u i e t l y and s t a n d s a t t h e back, and w i t h h e r w e see f o o t a g e f r o m t h e B a t t l e of B r i t a i n , a f r e i g h t e r bu rn ing i n t h e A t l a n t i c , De Gaul l e be ing welcomed t o England by C h u r c h i l l , and f i n a l l y a b l a z i n g b u i l d i n g bury ing f i r e f i g h t e r s in a London s t r ee t .

L e e e x p r e s s e s a d m i r a t i o n fo r t h e foo tage . "My" she

s a y s , "you must s u r e take some chances! I '

H a t r i c k b ids h e r w e l c o m e , and makes a d e r i s o r y speech about t h e average newsree l .

"If you d o n ' t go where t h e a c t i o n i s , you 've g o t no th ing" he s a y s . ' '1 a s k YOU, what i s t h e p o i n t of t h e average

9 .

newsreel? most p a r t gaze i n dismay upon most of t h e i tems t h a t

happen t o s u r v i v e from most of my c o m p e t i t o r ' s n e w s r e e l s . What w i l l t h e y see as a r eco rd of t h e s e

f laming , f l u i d , f a t e f u l t i m e s eh? 1'11 t e l l you what- Things l i k e t h i s . "

I t e l l you t h e s t u d e n t s of 2 0 4 0 w i l l f o r the

H e i n d i c a t e s a p i l e of f i l m cans from o ther s t u d i o s .

"A parade of b a b i e s d r e s s e d as b u t t e r f l i e s .... Severa l p o l a r bears b reak ing cakes of i ce i n s i d e which a r e f r o z e n f i s h .... Three dozen g i r l s e i t h e r i n bathing suits s l i d i n g down a snow s l o p e on t h e i r t a i l s , o r i n rompers h i g h k i c k i n g on t h e deck of a b a t t l e s h i p .... A p a i r of midgets d re s sed as bride and groom, necking .... T h i s

i s a l l o u r a n c e s t o r s found i n t e r e s t i n g t o record of the age of Gandhi, S t a l i n and E i n s t e i n , t h e y w i l l s a y . "

H e goes on t o t e l l h e r t h a t p r i m a r i l y he i s a war cor respondent .

and i n E t h i o p i a when Ciano bombed i k , and he saw t h e Nazis s t r u t i n t o Czechoslovakia.

H e has been a t t h e f a l l of Barcelona,

H e t e l l s h e r he wants h e r t o do a vo ice over for some f i l m he has shot about Americans working i n London - i n h o s p i t a l s , i n ambulances, i n food k i t c h e n s , and h a n d s h e r a s c r i p t .

He a l s o e n q u i r e s about h e r own a c t i v i t i e s , and d i s c o v e r s she i s working a t t h e Windmill which has j u s t re-opened - t h e on ly t h e a t r e a l lowed t a do so.

"The on ly one eh?" he echoes, "1 must do a p iece on it. I t w i l l f i t i n j u s t g r e a t . Brave hoofers c a r r y i n g on i n t h e h e l l of modern w a r - doing t h e i r b i t f o r democracy - and an American broad l e a d i n g t h e t r o o p . "

She demures, b u t he i n s i s t s . I t w i l l make h e r a b i g s ta r i n America, and b e s i d e s , can she a f f o r d t o t u r n down what he will. pay he r .

I t w i l l make a great s t o r y .

10.

This is the clincher, and Joe moves into the Windmill to start his filming, enthusiastically received by Maltravers who clearly recognises the value of the publicity, and by Miss Sandelson who is promised by him a solo performance spot on stage.

The bombing of London has now started in earnest, and Lee is forced to leave her flat and join the rest of the company sleeping in the Windmill Theatre, where she not only has to do six performances a day, but a l s o act as ARP warden as well.

We meet a number of the girls, the comics, and the stage staff, and a bombing incident takes place where one of the girls is buried under a direct hit on the cafe across the street, and Lee figures prominently and heroically in helping to dig her out. Hatrick captures it all on film.

Malcolm Stewart, meanwhile, is busy in the club room of the theatre recruiting his spies. One evening he suborns Hatrick, leading the conversation round to the possibility of his starting scare stories in the States about fifth column activities to prejudice the US public opinion against the Nazis, and also to seduce top American personnel close to the President to come over and see for themselves carefully selected examples of Britain at war, designed to show her ability and will to win.

Joe says he might be of use to him in that regard, as he is sick of the US sitting on the fence and not getting into the war. This encourages Stewart to make a more direct approach, and Joe agrees to be recruited for SIS with considerable eagerness, and asks when he can start.

Stewart, however is more cautious. "Not so fast," he says. "We must investigate your qualifications, and general fitness for the job. We can't afford to have our other agents betrayed by bunglers. We must subject you to

11.

a l i t t l e adven tu re f i r s t , designed t o tes t your meta l and r e s o u r c e f u l n e s s . Tomorrow a f t e r n o o n be a t t h e

f i r s t show. D o you understand the Morse code?"

Joe assures h i m t h a t having been i n t h e Navy, he does.

" E x c e l l e n t , " Steward concludes. "Pay a t t e n t i o n t o i t e m number 1 0 . I t w i l l be t h e s t a r t of an amusing l i t t l e t r e a s u r e hunt . "

"Treasure hun t ! ? I don't unders tand ," s a y s Hats ick.

"There 's an o b j e c t w e want you t o b r i n g back t o u s . Y o u ' l l know it when you see it."

Joe a s k s whether L e e can be i n on it, and Stewar t , who has t aken a s h i n e t o h e r , ag rees .

"I d o n ' t see why n o t , " h e s a y s . "1'11 b r i e f her l a t e r . B u t you'd b e t t e r be ve ry s u r e you want h e r a long. This may be a funny l i t t l e game, but i t ' s a deadly one. I f

you f a i l w e s imply c o u l d n ' t a f f o r d t o have the p a i r

of you hanging around t e l l i n g everybody wha t ' s going on h e r e , could w e ? S o you 'd just better save us from having t o do any th ing beas t ly t o e i t h e r of you."

With which cheery t h r e a t Ha t r i ck i s dismissed.

Next day, t h e aud i to r ium i s f u l l of servicemen and others for t h e f i r s t show. Number 1 0 appears i n t h e

frame a t t h e s i d e of t he s t a g e . The g i r l s prance on i n s c a n t y r i d i n g h a b i t , bea t ing drums. Lee r i d e s on on a w h i t e h o r s e d r e s s e d as Lady Godiva - long blonde h a i r and no th ing e l se . I n t h e audience Joe l i s t e n s a t t e n t i v e l y t o t h e drums, and w r i t e s down t h e word Uff ington s e n t t o him by Morse code.

A f t e r t h e show he and L e e leave t h e t h e a t r e , Lee t e l l i n g Joe t h a t B e r t i e M a l t r a v e r s has rather s u r p r i s i n g l y g iven h e r the res t of t h e day o f f .

12.

They make f o r V i c t o r i a s t a t i o n and board a t r a i n f o r Uf f ing ton , B e r k s h i r e , birdogged by a s i n i s t e r agent .

I n t h e t r a i n L e e and Joe s ta r t g e t t i n g acquainted. She is v e r y e x c i t e d about t h e i r "mission", and t e l l s h i m

o f h e r p r e v i o u s l i f e mar r i ed t o a minor diplomat f o r seven y e a r s - how t h e y w e r e , on a c o n t i n u a l round of

p a r t i e s and b inges a t t h e Embassies, and more o r less went broke keeping up w i t h t h e i n t e r n a t i o n a l d ip lomat i c se t . She adds t h a t n o one eve r took t h e t h rea t of w a r or German re-armament s e r i o u s l y , b u t t h a t it was good t o be j o i n i n g i n now.

"You w e r e i n t h e Dip lomat ic Corps, and you d i d n ' t t a k e s t o p p i n g f a sc i sm s e r i o u s l y ? " says Joe, astounded. "1 suppose your husband w a s t oo busy choking down the

p i t t e d o l i v e s and Dom Perignon t o pay a t t e n t i o n , " he scof fs .

L e e ' s manner hardens as t h e y head f o r t h e i r f i r s t r o w . "While I suppose you w e r e o u t t h e r e , " she says t a r t l y , " p o i n t i n g your w e e box Brownie a t t h e t o r t u r e s and e x e c u t i o n s for s a l e t o t h e s t a y a t homes. W e l l a t l eas t my husband p a i d f o r h i s negl igence ," she adds. " H e d i e d on t h e d e s t r o y e r Gloworm ramming t h e German heavy c r u i s e r Hipper. 'I

I n a s t a t e of embattled enmity they reach Uff ington, a l o n e l y wayside h a l t t h r e a t e n i n g i n i t s emptiness. They have no idea what t o do nex t . Watched i n as tonishment by t h e concea led t r a i l i n g agent , L e e s l i n k s

around look ing mys te r ious . " T h e r e ' s s u r e t o be a

message f o r u s somewhere," she says . " I f o n l y I can f i g u r e o u t where it w i l l come from . . . ' I

H e r e y e f a l l s on t h e I speak Your Weight machine. Triumphant ly s h e l e a p s on it, and t h r u s t s i n a coin.

It announces s t e n t o r i a n l y "You are f i v e feet seven, and weigh n i n e s t o n e t e n pounds. You a r e t en pounds overweight . . . I'

13.

She t r ies t o hush it, b u t it r e p e a t s l o u d l y t h r e e t i m e s "You are t e n pounds overweight! ... You are t e n pounds overweight! ... You are t e n pounds overweight!"

F i n a l l y she s l u g s it t o s h u t it up. " W e d o n ' t want everyone t o hear s t a t e secre t s , " she gasps .

They leave t h e s t a t i o n , and h o p e l e s s l y i n s p e c t t h e t i n y empty v i l l a g e s t reet f o r c l u e s . A huge p o s t e r proc la ims Careless T a l k Cos t s L ives . "There 's n o t much chance of any of t h a t round here," p roc la ims L e e s o u r l y . A door i n t h e p o s t e r opens a c r a c k , and t h e agen t s t a n d s watching them p i t y i n g l y . B a f f l e d t h e y t u r n and make t h e i r way up a s t e e p p a t h which leads t o highdownland overhung w i t h scudding c l o u d s .

A t t h e t o p t h e y s i t down on a bench, bewi ldered and s t i l l somewhat e s t r a n g e d f r a n t h e i r s p a t , n e i t h e r knowing e x a c t l y what t o do n e x t . F i n a l l y a f t e r a long pe r iod of h o p e l e s s s i l e n c e , L e e ex la ims t e s t i l l y t h a t " t h e r e must have been more t h a n t h e one word Uf f ing ton i n t h e Morse message drummed f r o m t h e s t a g e " , ' bu t Joe e q u a l l y i r r i t ab l e , m a i n t a i n s t h a t w a s a l l t h e r e w a s .

" W e l l , t h e r e must have been ano the r c l u e you d i d n ' t g e t , " she snaps . " I t ' s obvious y o u ' r e no good a t t h i s k ind of work. 'I

"I t e l l you t h e r e w a s o n l y you p r a n c i n g about as Lady Godiva on t h a t s t u p i d h o r s e , " he s n a r l s back. "Even Peeping Tom would.have s topped peeping . If

" T h a t ' s n o t v e r y g a l l a n t e , " she p o u t s , and t h e y s i t i n gloomy s i l e n c e . A f t e r a l ong moment t h e c louds suddenly p a r t below i n t h e v a l l e y t o reveal a great white h o r s e 3 6 0 feet long , c u t i n t o t h e c h a l k h i l l s i d e on t h e f u r t h e r side o f t h e v a l l e y . W e i n t e r c u t r a p i d shots of t h e wh i t e h o r s e on the Windmill s t a g e bea r ing L e e a s Lady Godiva.

13A.

Page 13a is the best copy available. The script is too tightly bound.

14.

Lee n o t i c e s t h e h o r s e , and c r ies out exc i t ed ly . "That must be it! The next c lue ! I was on a w h i t e horse on t h e stage remember!?"

She sets o f f down t h e h i l l towards it, pursued c lumsi ly by Joe . W e jump c u t h e r c l o s e r and c l o s e r , and w e g r a d u a l l y see t h a t it is a very s t r ange o b j e c t indeed - e longa ted , s i n i s t e r , a lmost as much dragon as horse . Together t hey i n s p e c t it c l o s e l y , and i n i t s mouth she f i n d s a c a n n i s t e r , and i n t h e cann i s t e r a p i e c e of paper . I t r eads "Genesis 6 . 4 "

They set o f f i n s e a r c h of a b i b l e , and they make t h e i r way t o t h e Uff ington v i l l a g e church - a 12 th century e d i f i c e s lowly s i n k i n g i n t o i t s own graveyard. agen t watches them from behind a gravestone, a s t hey make t h e i r approach.

The

I n t h e church a bapt ism service is i n progress , and they j o i n t h e crowd s t a n d i n g round t h e anc ien t f o n t , and are co-opted as c e l e b r a n t s . Nearby s t ands a l e c t e r n on which i s a huge b i b l e , and both of them t r y and g e t a s i g h t o f t h e r e l e v a n t verse by tu rn ing over i t s pages, b u t are c o n t i n u a l l y f r u s t r a t e d by t h e very s h o r t s i g h t e d , o f f i c i a t i n g v icar , who forces them a l t e r n a t e l y t o hold t h e baby.

Even tua l ly they manage t o t u r n t h e pages t o t h e r i g h t p l ace , b u t a t t h e momente c r i t i q u e when they a r e f i n a l l y about t o r ead it t h e Vicar moves t o t h e l ec t e rn , and cover ing t h e page wi th h i s arms, proceeds t o d e l i v e r a l eng thy sermon. From t i m e t o t i m e he l i f t s h i s arm t o emphasize a p o i n t , b u t never s u f f i c i e n t l y long enough t o g ive them t i m e t o r ead t h e verse. H e concludes by c l o s i n g t h e book, and usher ing them along w i t h t h e bap t i sma l p a r t y towards t h e v e s t r y . Joe manages t o n i p back however, and t a k e a quick peek i n t h e b i b l e w h i l s t t h e v i c a r mis t ak ing t h e as tonished L e e f o r t h e p r o g e n i t o r of t h e b a p t i s e d baby, l ec tu re s her on t h e joys of motherhood.

1 5 .

F i n a l l y t h e y make t h e i r escape , and Joe conf ides t o he r t h a t t h e verse s a i d "There were g i a n t s i n t h e e a r t h i n those days . I'

They p a s s a c r u s a d e r tomb on which a g i a n t armoured f i g u r e l ies , and examine it hopefu l ly , b u t it y i e l d s noth ing .

I n t h e porch t h e y see a not iceboard on which a r e adver t - i sements f o r v a r i o u s cas t les , country houses , and o t h e r p l a c e s of i n t e r e s t t o t h e t o u r i s t . hmonqst them i s an adve r t i s emen t for t h e Cerne Abbas G i a n t .

L e e a s k s t h e v icar about it only t o be t o l d "it i s a pagan f e r t i l i t y symbol some m i l e s away i n Dorset , posses sed of o u t s i z e g e n a t a l i a sometimes, legend has it, used by b a r r e n women t o become f e r t i l e . " S t i l l

m i s t ak ing h e r for t h e mother of the bap t i zed baby, he concludes waggishly "bu t you c e r t a i n l y have no need of any th ing l i k e t h a t , my d e a r . "

Having r e c e i v e d d i r e c t i o n s they h i r e a c a r and d e p a r t t h e s m a l l town under t h e sa rdon ic gaze of t h e watching agen t .

They journey through t h e coun t rys ide w i t h aerial b a t t l e s between t h e IiAF and t h e Luftwafft: t a k i n g p l a c e overhead. On t h e way t h e y d i s c u s s Lee's less than d i s t i n g u i s h e d career i n show b u s i n e s s i n t h e U . S . and h i s adventures as a w a r cor respondent i n c l u d i n g t h e t i m e he w a s c a p t u r e d by t h e Germans a t Dunkirk, and escaped.

F i n a l l y , and suddenly t h e y t o p a rise, and below them l ies t h e enormous shape of t h e Cerne Abbas Giant - t h e P a l e o l i t h i c f e r t i l i t y f i g u r e carved i n t o t h e h i l l

t o p - c l u b i n hand, w i t h a mighty pen i s erect .

Lee looks a s t o n i s h e d . " I ' v e heard about pen i s envy, b u t t h i s i s r i d i c u l o u s , " she gasps.

1 5 A .

Cerne Abbas giant, on Giant Hill near Cerne Abbas, Dorset

ST 667016 (178)

The Cerne Abbas giant is now thought of as a fertility symbol, and hc has long been associated with fertility. Abovc him on the hilltop can be seen the enclosiirc where maypole celebrations have becn held for centuries (May Day has strong connexions with fertility ceremonies - see ‘The rites of spring and other pagan ceremonies’), and there was a general belief that if a barren woman were to spcnd thc night sleeping on the body of the giant, she would’then be able to have children,

T. C. Lethbridgc thought that thc pinnt we now sec (whoni he iriterprctcd as Hercules /I-Ielith/Gog) is the remaining pa~at: of a largcr group of figures. I le s;1w, directly and in aerial photographs, a cloak hanging over the giant’s outstretched nrni, and anothcr figure to his right.

l b .

They l e a v e t h e car and c l imb up t o t h e g i a n t . On t h e v e r y t i p o f i t s p e n i s i s a f i g u r i n e of a windmil l about a f o o t h igh . On it i s a labe l r e a d i n g " W e l l done. P r o p e r t y of S i r M a l c o l m S t ewar t . Please r e t u r n . "

Happy a t t h e t r iumphant conc lus ion of t h e i r miss ion t h e y r e l a x w i t h each o t h e r , and a f t e r some p re l imina ry b a n t e r about t h e g i a n t ' s chief f e a t u r e t h e y f a l l i n t o each o t h e r ' s a r m s . A l ong , r a p t u r o u s l o v e scene takes

p l a c e on t o p of t h e g i a n t .

Back i n t h e Windmill t h e a t r e L e e and J o e hand ove r t h e f i g u r i n e t o S i r Malcolm S t e w a r t who i s ve ry p l eased wi th t h e i r work, and promises o t h e r more s e r i o u s a s s ign - ments l a t e r on.

Joe now moves around t h e thea t re f i l m i n g v a r i o u s a s p e c t s of t h e companies' a c t i v i t i e s - i n p a r t i c u l a r t h e l i v e s of t h e be leagured g i r l s a s t h e y s t r i v e t o l i v e through t h e b l i t z on sha red , meagre r a t i o n s of b o t h food and c l o t h i n g , s l e e p i n g i n t h e t h e a t r e , dous ing incend ia ry bombs, q u a r r e l i n g , f l i r t i n g , o u t w i t t i n g t h e ove r s o l i c i t o u s Mal t r ave r s , r e h e a r s i n g new numbers, and g e n e r a l l y behaving a s a g a l l a n t t r o u p e under f i r e .

Lee, of cour se f i g u r e s p rominen t ly , s i n g i n g and performing bo th s o l o and w i t h t h e chorus , and comics.

O n t h e n e x t Sunday Joe t a k e s L e e a long on one of h i s ass ignments - a v i s i t t o t h e Sevenoaks F i g h t e r S t a t i o n on t h e K e n t Weald. H e i n t r o d u c e s Lee as h i s a s s i s t a n t i n o r d e r t o g e t h e r admi t t ed t o t h e h igh s e c u r i t y a i r - f i e l d . Once t h e r e he t a k e s some s h o t s of t h e p i l o t s c l imbing i n t o and o u t of beat up Hur r i canes , arming them and t a l k i n g about t h e i r e x p l o i t s .

One of them i n d i s c r e e t l y lets f a l l t h e f a c t t h a t t h e squadron has o n l y t h e p r e v i o u s n i g h t t a k e n d e l i v e r y of t h i r t y replacement s p i t f i r e s , and Joe secures footage of t h e p i l o t s fo rma l ly t a k i n g posses s ion of them.

17.

I n t h e m e s s , L e e i s in t roduced t o t h e Squadron Leader and a number of young o f f i c e r s . The Squadron Leader a s k s t h e m t o w a i t and have lunch w i t h M a l c o l m S tewar t , B e r t i e Maltravers, M i s s Sandelson, and Nugent Re i l ly ,

a l l of whom are expected as they are t o a r range a c o n c e r t a t t h e a i r f i e l d t o be performed by t h e Windmill company, and t h e y agree . A t lunch B e r t i e persuades Lee t o s i n g a number t o t h e accompaniment of t he s t a t i o n band as a sample of t he i r wares.

Back a t t h e Windmill, du r ing a performance, there is much backs tage mys te r ioso - hands removing costumes from hangars , and t h r e e g i r l s be ing locked i n a t o i l e t by

an unseen f i g u r e .

On s t a g e a s tandup comic i s d i spens ing a s t r i n g of f i l t h y jokes . H e goes o f f and number 7 goes up i n t h e frame a t t h e s ide of t h e s t a g e which enumerates t h e a c t s . A c a r d s a y s Lightn ing i n t h e Woods.

The c u r t a i n s p a r t t o r e v e a l seven nude g i r l s s c a n t i l y entwined w i t h oak l e a v e s and acorns. One by one they b r e a t h e f i re . W e see Maltravers i n t h e s ta l ls f u r i o u s l y makinga .note . H e t u r n s a n g r i l y t o Miss Sandelson who is s i t t i n g b e s i d e him, and a sks what t h e h e l l t h e y ' r e do ing wearing green leaves when h e ' d costumed them i n si lver, why i n f a c t s i l v e r b i r c h e s had become oaks. And why are t h e r e on ly seven of them i n s t e a d of t h e t e n he 'd r ehea r sed , and fur thermore why a r e they f i r e - e a t i n g .

M i s s Sandelson cannot g i v e a s a t i s f a c t o r y explana t ion , b u t merely s u g g e s t s t h e a d d i t i o n of a dancing bear t o beef t h e number up.

Backstage a t t h e end of t h e performance Maltravers c o n f r o n t s Nugent R e i l l y about t h e changes, bu t he den ie s any knowledge of them. When asked, t h e three missing g i r l s complain t h e y were locked i n t h e t o i l e t by someone by mis t ake , and t h e o t h e r seven s t a t e t h a t t h e i r s i l v e r

18.

costumes had been r e p l a c e d i n t h e i r d r e s s i n g rooms by green ones , so they thought t h e r e had been a change OKay'd by t h e management.

L a t e r i n t h e evening a t t h e Trocadero over t h e road from t h e Windmill, Ma l t r ave r s and S tewar t j o i n L e e and Joe f o r supper . S t ewar t and L e e dance t o g e t h e r and t h e former confes ses he i s g e t t i n g moEthan s l i g h t l y fond of her . L e e warns him n o t t o rush h i s f ences .

The a n t i - a i r c r a f t ba r r age has s t a r t e d , and bombs are f a l l i n g . Maltravers t e l l s Lee he expec ts her back i n

t h e theatre ve ry s h o r t l y t o s l e e p wi th t h e res t of t he

company, once a g a i n showing h i s o f f i c i o u s over s o l i c i t o u s " looking a f t e r h i s g i r l s " manner, bu t she s a y s , "Nuts" and wanders o f f w i t h J o e , and t h e y t a k e r e fuge i n t h e

P i c a d i l l y underground, now be ing used as a bomb she l te r , and packed w i t h s l e e p i n g Londoners. L e e a sks J o e t o i n v i t e t h e h a l f a dozen p i l o t s t h e y ' v e m e t a t t h e Seven- oaks F i g h t e r S t a t i o n t o come up t o t h e Windmill and m e e t ' t h e g i r l s i n the show. H e s a y s h e ' l l do it nex t morning. They a lso d i s c u s s he r motive f o r be ing i n London dur ing t h e b l i t z . A f t e r a l l she i s a U.S. c i t i z e n , and d o e s n ' t have t o be there e tc . H e r answer i s t h a t she " is making amends for t h e i r p r e w a r s t u p i d i t i e s . Also her husband d i e d f o r it. The least s h e can do i s shake a l e g . It's a l l s h e ' s t r a i n e d t o do." They s l e e p , s i t t i n g s i d e by s i d e on t h e stairs of a s t a t i o n a r y escalator.

The next morning J o e phones t h e a i r f i e l d from a te lephone box i n s h a t t e r e d Sha f t e sbury Avenue, and t h e p i l o t s agree t o come t h a t n i g h t .

A t t h e a i r f i e l d t h e y draw l o t s fo r t h e s i x seats . They t h e n s t r o l l o u t o n t o t h e runway, and s i t i n deck c h a i r s i n t h e e a r l y morning sunsh ine . I n t h e background t h e

t h i r t y S p i t f i r e s are drawn up ready f o r a c t i o n . They d i s c u s s t h e new p l a n e s w i t h approval , and it i s obvious t h . a t t h e y have been w a i t i n g some cons ide rab le t i m e f o r

19.

these rep lacements . They have o n l y j u s t come i n t i m e - r e s o u r c e s have been s t r e t c h e d p r e t t y t h i n , m o s t of t h e old Hur r i canes have been badly bea ten up, etc e t c ...

High i n t h e sky a p l a n e circles round and round t h e

a i r f i e l d . One of t h e p i l o t s n o t i c e s it and comments o n i t s c u r i o u s shape , s p e c u l a t i n g whether it's t he new Bolton-Paul F i g h t e r Bomber rumoured t o be a b o u t r e a d y f o r t e s t i n g .

A second p i l o t r e g a r d s it w i t h g r e a t e r a t t e n t i o n on i t s next c i r c u i t , and t a k e s a photograph of i t o u t of h i s pocket .

"Tapered wings, It he announces "snub nose , €our machine guns, t w o forward f a c i n g , two backward i n t u r r e t . S i x 5 0 0 pound bombs. Very a c c u r a t e Verey-Sturmer bomb- s i g h t . Can o p e r a t e a t h e i g h t s up t o 2 0 , 0 0 0 feet ."

W e c u t i n over h i s s h o u l d e r t o see t h e photogxaph he

i s hold ing . H e moves h i s thumb and w e see t h e c a p t i o n - " L a t e s t German l i g h t bomber - The Junke r s 4 8 8 . "

The p i l o t adds t h i s d e v a s t a t i n g p i e c e of i n f o r m a t i o n , and t h e o t h e r p i l o t s scramble, b u t t hey a re t o o l a t e . A s t i c k of bombs descends in slow motion i n t o t h e grouped S p i t f i r e s b l a s t i n g them i n t o smi thereens . A s t h e p i l o t s run f o r t h e i r o l d Hur r i canes it d i v e s on them, machine guns b l a z i n g . Many of them f a l l . Too l a t e t h e

a i r f i e l d defence AAs open up. I t has gone,

Backstage i n h e r d r e s s i n g room, L e e is making up. Joe e n t e r s l ook ing v e r y s e r i o u s , and she t e l l s h i m t h a t s i x g i r l s are s t a n d i n g by t o e n t e r t a i n t h e p i l o t s , and asks w h e t h e r t h e y have a r r i v e d . H e shows h e r t h e evening paper which d e s c r i b e s t h e bombing of t h e a i r f i e l d and t h e d e a t h o f t h e p i l o t s . T h e h e a d l i n e r e a d s Sneak A t t a c k O n Sevenoaks A i r f i e l d . Bomber Causes havoc. 'I She b u r s t s i n t o t e a r s , and he comfor t s h e r . The c a l l boy Surturt~nS her t o t h e s t a g e ,

New German

2 0 .

and a f t e r a qu ick make up r e p a i r j ob she goes o u t on s t a g e , and d e f i a n t l y b e l t s one o u t , whi le Joe l i s t e n s t o it ove r t h e p u b l i c a d d r e s s sys t em i n t h e d r e s s i n g room.

Back i n t h e aud i to r ium, t h e "Windmil l s t e e p l e c h a s e " t a k e s p l a c e - s c o r e s of raunchy t r o o p s f i g h t i n g and c l a m b e r i n g ove r t h e seats t o g e t a c l o s e r view a s t h e nudes come o n a t t h e end of L e e ' s number.

The scene moves t o the Welsh c o a s t . Joe s i t s o n a b l u f f ove r look ing t h e s e a w i t h Lee and t h e c h o r e o g r a p h e r Nugent R e i l l y . A convoy of merchant s h i p s e s c o r t e d by d e s t r o y e r s and t h e a i r c r a f t c a r r i e r Endeavour h e a d s i n towardsSwanseaHarbour . Joe s ta r t s t o shoot f o o t a g e of it. Through h i s l e n s w e see an ECU of t h e name Endeavour.

J o e e x c i t e d l y p o i n t s o u t t h e g i a n t s h i p t o h i s

companions as he p a r o d i e s h i s own upcoming commentary.

"The l i f e - s u s t a i n i n g food from t h e N e w World a r r i v e s a t Wales' Swansea, gateway t o embat t led B r i t a i n , a f t e r combating t h e dead ly menace of t h e U-boats."

A f t e r some b i t t e r r e f l e c t i o n s from J o e on t h e t a r d i n e s s o f t h e U S i n coming i n t o t h e war , he p o i n t s out t o Nugent t h a t t h e convoy s u g g e s t s a g r e a t number f o r t h e s h o w .

Nugent j o i n s i n e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y . " W e could have s o m e merchant s h i p f l o a t s w i t h t h e g i r l s d r e s s e d a s s a i l o r s dancing p r o t e c t i v e l y round them," he s a y s .

"Bell bottoms and n o t h i n g much else. I can see it," adds L e e . "And you cou7d p l a y Mountbatten, I' says Nugent .

They laugh. Joe p r o t e s t s he i s s e r i o u s . "These convoys are do ing a t e r r i f i c job . "

Nugent a g r e e s t o work on t h e i d e a .

f a c t , " he s a y s "Bert ie 's a l r e a d y ahead of you. ~e

"AS a m a t t e r of

21.

sugges ted something s i m i l a r t o m e a couple of days ago."

They s t a r t t h e i r p i c n i c w i t h a Welsh cheese c a l l e d C a e r p h i l l y which L e e has bought w i t h h e r r a t i o n book

i n t h e local v i l l a g e .

Back i n the aud i to r ium of t h e Windmill t h e number s i g n shows 7. A r e h e a r s a l is i n p r o g r e s s on s t a g e - a s t r a n g e v e r s i o n of t h e Swan Lake B a l l e t . Agains t a backc lo th of sea and c l i f f s on which s t a n d s a windmi l l w i t h s a i l s g a i l y p a i n t e d a l t e r n a t i v e l y r e d and b lack , t u r n i n g , g i r l s d r e s s e d as swans dance on surrounding a f l o a t of a merchant s h i p on which Lee s t a n d s d r e s s e d as Nelson w i t h eye p a t c h and t e l e s c o p e , s i n g i n g a p a t r i o t i c number. Six nudes i n s a i l o r h a t s s t a n d m o t i o n l e s s , t h e i r a r m s held o u t ho ld ing f lags i n semaphoric p o s i t i o n s . Joe who i s f i l m i n g it re -a r r anges t h e f l a g s t o s u i t h i s camera ang le . Malcolm Stewar t s t a n d s a t t h e back of t h e s t a l l s watching. W e mix through t o a f u l l house. The scene i s t h e same w i t h t h e a d d i t i o n o f Miss Sandelson who b lunde r s on i n b e l l bottoms and porn poms do ing a l u d i c r o u s hornpipe .

A n E n g l i s h s a i lo r i n t h e audience w i t h s igna lman ' s f l a s h e s on h i s uniform w r i t e s down t h e word CONVOY. The t a b l e a u changes, and e i g h t g i r l s now hold t h e f l a g s as t h e swans dance around a repl ica of a b a t t l e s h i p . The sailor now w r i t e s down t h e word ENDEAV R. A t t h e end of t h e show he approaches Mal t r ave r s and a s k s f o r a p r i v a t e i n t e r v i e w i n h i s o f f i c e . Once t h e r e he shows h i m what he h a s w r i t t e n down - Convoy, Endeavo a s k s f o r a n e x p l a n a t i o n - maybe t h e r e ' s a s i n i s t e r r eason . H e i s t o l d by Maltravers t o say no th ing , and t o r e t u r n f o r t h e l a s t show t o a l low t i m e f o r an i n v e s t i g a t i o n to t a k e p l a c e .

A meeting now t a k e s p l a c e between Matravers and Malcom S t e w a r t i n which t h e l a t t e r s a y s t h e r e w a s always t h e p o s s i b i l i t y of o t h e r s i g n a l l e r s p i c k i n g up on t h e i r

r e c r u i t i n g methods, b u t h e thought t hey on ly used

2 2 .

i t e m Number 1 0 . This was i n number 7. H e promises t o check w i t h Nugent. Nugent den ie s sending any messages i n N u m b e r 7 , and c la ims t o know nothing about convoy and Endeavour, wh ich of course w e know t o be a l i e s i n c e we s a w h i m a t Swansea the previous day.

Stewart t e l l s t h i s t o Mal t r ave r s . It i s obvious t h a t someone has i n f i l t r a t e d t h e system of r e c r u i t i n g and i n t e l l i g e n c e t e s t i n g i n p l a c e a t t h e Windmill, and is us ing i t f o r h i s o r he r purposes.

S tewar t promises t o i n v e s t i g a t e h i s own recrui ts , so fa r f o u r i n number - a P o l e , a Frenchman, a Dane and a Dutchman.

Mal t ravers s i t s l i s t e n i n g t o t h e 6 o ' c l o c k news on t h e r a d i o r ead by Alvar L i d e l l . It announces a heavy r a i d

on Swansea. Huge l o s s e s have bee a r e c e n t l y a r r i v e d convoy, and t h e avour h a s been sunk. The a b l e seaman a r r i v e s and demands t o see Mal t r ave r s .

I n h i s o f f i c e he draws Mal t r ave r s a t t e n t i o n t o t h e news of t h e Swansea r a i d , and t h e s i n k i n g of t h e Endeavour. H e announces p o r t e n t o u s l y . "I'm going t o t h e Po l i ce o r t o my CO.

s p i e s . I'll have it c l o s e d down and you all a r r e s t e d . " This p l a c e is nothing bu t a n e s t of

# Malt ravers is n a t u r a l l y v e r y pur turbed , and a s su res t h e man t h a t t h e s i t u a t i o n i s i n hand. R e l u c t a n t l y he i s persuaded t o hold h i s hand u n t i l a f t e r t h e l a s t show, when all w i l l be exp la ined t o him. i

Nugent i s d e t a i l e d t o e n t e r t a i n him wi th d r i n k s i n t h e c lub room be fo re t h e show w h i l e Mal t ravers tells Stewart what he has done.

Stewart tells MaltE.avers t h a t t h e zea lous s a i l o r i s most inconvenient . "1 had hoped," he s a y s " t o have had a t l eas t h a l f a dozen a g e n t s i n p l a c e by t h e end of t h e month. We c a n ' t a l l ow t h i s eager beaver t o

2 3 .

spoil it all by going to the police or his commanding officer. This whole scheme would look to the authorities like another hair-brained SIS project, and they'd not only close this theatre, they'd close the service down as well. excuse to do s o . "

They're already looking f o r an

He concludes that they'll just have to find the spy themselves, and deal with the sailor.

l l H ~ ~ do we do that?" asks Maltravers nervously. But Stewart is evasive. "He must be prevented from telling what he knows, I' he says.

The last show is taking place. "Dr Voltan" is performing the electric chair stunt made popular by Walford Bodie. On the stage grouped round an electric chair are half a dozen nudes wearing executioner's hoods. He invites the sa i lo r up from the audience saying, "Perhaps you, sir. Are you man enough to come up here, and let me demonstrate on you the horrors of execution in the electric chair?"

The man demures.

D r Voltan continues, "I will first hypnotise you so you

won't feel a thing."

Sheepishly the seaman goes on stage. He is strapped and wired into the chair, his head placed in a copper cap, and then hypnotised by "Dr Voltan."

The current is switched on. The muscles quiver and convulse. The face goes blacker and blacker. The audience screams. This feat was accomplished by Brodie by his method of rigging the stage and wiring the subject. The chair w a s insulated where it touched the floor. The copper cap was connected by a wire to a large condenser, and the current passed through the condenser, wire and cap to the subject. Insulation

24.

w a s p l a c e d under v a r i o u s p a r t s of t h e stage. When t h e magic ian l i f t e d one foot o f f t h e i n s u l a t i o n , e l e c t r i c i t y pas sed th rough t h e subject , bu t caused no harm, because it w a s s t a t i c n o t c u r r e n t e l e c t r i c i t y . H i s s u b j e c t be ing i n e r t and b l ack i n t h e f a c e , " D r

Vol tan" d r a m a t i c a l l y r u s h e s forward, t u r n s o f f t h e e l e c t r i c i t y and announces "And now t o r e s t o r e l i f e " .

But t h e r e s t o r a t i v e s , s m e l l i n g sal ts , vigorous s l app ing e t c , f a i l t o b r i n g t h e seaman back t o l i f e . H e i s dead. T h e f i n a l t a b l e a u we see before t h e c u r t a i n i s h a s t i l y drawn i s of s i x s t i l l b l ack faced nudes, and one s t i l l black f a c e d co rpse . T h e audience l eaves shocked. An i n v e s t i g a t i o n on s t a g e r e v e a l s t h a t some of t h e i n s u l a t i o n has been removed. Mal t ravers accuses S t e w a r t of t h e murder. b e f o r e he went t o h i s CO".

"You sa id he had t o be stopped

H e d e n i e s it, b u t t h e a c c u s a t i o n i s overheard by L e e .

S t e w a r t s u g g e s t s t hey i n t e r v i e w " D r Voltan".

S t e w a r t s a y s , ' ' I ' d l i k e t o a s k him j u s t how he came t o choose t h a t p a r t i c u l a r seaman t o vo lun tee r . Someone rigged t h i s . 'I

They r u s h t o h i s d r e s s i n g room. I t is appa ren t ly empty. A t r i c k c a b i n e t swings open t o r e v e a l t h e body of t h e dead magic ian s t u f f e d i n s i d e . H e has been s t r a n g l e d w i t h a woman's spangled s t o c k i n g . L e e appears i n t h e

doorway, sees t h e c o r p s e and screams.

"My God! What's going on h e r e ? "

S tewar t t e l l s h e r t h a t a s s h e has a l r e a d y been r e c r u i t e d she should know be t t e r t h a n t o ask ques t ions l i k e t h a t .

H e r concern i s t h a t t hey might t h i n k she had something t o do wikh t h e d e a t h s . S t e w a r t and Mal t ravers walk her back t o h e r d r e s s i n g room. The twin spangled s tocking l ies draped around t h e neck of a d r e s s e r ' s dummy.

25.

Both men look a t h e r a c c u s i n g l y a s t h e t h e a t r e i s rocked by t h e sound of a l a r g e bomb exploding i n t h e

s t reet . T h e a i r r a i d s i r e n s s t a r t t o w a i l , and t h e a n t i - a i r c r a f t b a r r a g e s t a r t s up. I n t h e c o r r i d o r o u t s i d e t h e g i r l s g rab t h e i r t i n h a t s and ARP a r m l e t s , and throwing t o p c o a t s o v e r t h e i r p a n t i e s go about t h e i r j o b of c i v i l de fense . I n t h e d r e s s i n g room t h e

t w o men and L e e have a c o n f r o n t a t i o n .

"I t w a s your s t o c k i n g , " S t e w a r t l a c o n i c a l l y o b s e r v e s , and M a l t r a v e r s p r o t e s t s pompously about t h e p u r i t y and r e c t i t u d e of h i s g i r l s . L e e t h r o w s a tan t rum, and S t e w a r t i s f o r c e d t o t e l l h e r t h a t it looks a s i f someone has i n f i l t r a t e d t h e i r system of r e c r u i t i n g and a s s e s s i n g , and i s u s i n g t h e t h e a t r e t o p a s s on real messages t o t h e enemy.

Lee i s a g h a s t , b u t S t e w a r t p e r s i s t s , a sk ing Mal t r ave r s t o conf i rm any recent s u s p i c i o u s d e v i a t i o n s from the norm i n t h e t h e a t r e .

With eve ry show of r e l u c t a n c e M a l t r a v e r s c i tes t h e t e n s i l v e r b i r c h e s be ing changed by someone unknown, t o seven o a k t r e e s .

"Exact ly" s a y s S t e w a r t , "Sevenoaks! Remember t h e air- f i e l d and t h e S p i t f i r e s . t h e y ' d never done b e f o r e ? S p i t f i r e - yes? And t o d a y ' s news," h e con t inues r e l e n t l e s s l y , " t h e bombing of t h e convoy a t Swansea. The gir ls came on as swans a g a i n s t the background of

t h e s e a . Swansea - r i g h t ? That s a i l o r p icked up two words s e n t by t h e g i r l s i n semaphore Convoy and Endeavour. 'I

What d i d t h o s e g i r l s do which

The s i n k i n g of t h e Endeavour.

"Oh no!", s a y s L e e .

"Oh y e s , " r e p l i e s S tewar t .

your boyf r i end H a t r i c k r e - a r r a n g i n g t h e p o s i t i o n s of t h e f l a g s f o r h i s f i l m i n g a t r e h e a r s a l . H e w a s a navy man. H e knows semaphore, and he w a s a t t h a t

"And w h a t ' s more I n o t i c e d

26 .

a i r f i e l d . H e knew t h e new s p i t s w e r e there ," adds Mal t r ave r s .

"So w e r e you t w o i f i t comes t o t h a t , " s h o u t s Lee.

"And M i s s Sandelson and Nugent."

"True", admits S t e w a r t , " b u t come t o t h i n k of i t , n e i t h e r B e r t i e no r I w e r e a t Swansea l a s t Sunday. Were you?"

''1 d o n ' t even know where it i s , " s h e l i e s .

S t e w a r t picks up a p i e c e of C a e r p h i l l y cheese from t h e d r e s s i n g t a b l e , and tas tes it. "What a t a s t y piece of cheese," he pronounces s l y l y . "Cae rph i l ly , J: t h i n k .

From a sma l l v i l l a g e a f e w m i l e s t o t h e e a s t of Swansea. Such a p i t y i t ' s unob ta inab le j u s t now i n London, due t o food zoning . . . You know," he concludes "I t h i n k Ber t i e ' s r i g h t . The h o t money's go ing on Ha t r i ck - but I'll t a k e a saver on you, L e e . "

" M e ? I' s h e a s k s i n c r e d u l o u s l y . "Why m e ?

"HOW do you s p e l l Endeavour?" he a s k s .

"Endeavor", s h e spells o u t .

" T h a t ' s t h e American way, ' I he p o i n t s o u t . "Over he re w e use vour ."

"So what?" she demands h o t l y .

"It w a s s p e l t t h e American way on t h e s t a g e , " he s a y s

simply.

L e e s t a r t s t o b l u s t e r . "It could have been done t h a t way d e l i b e r a t e l y t o p u t you o f f t h e s c e n t . "

"I'm n o t so easily p u t o f f t he s c e n t , L e e " s ays S tewar t , p i c k i n g up t h e cheese a g a i n . "Your boyfr iend had b e t t e r

2 7 .

beware. My cat has thought.of a cunning wheeze, for luring mice to death. It gobbles up a piece of cheese, And waits with bated breath.”

He pops the cheese i n t o his mouth, and is gone.

Lee is summoned for air raid duties on the roof. She puts on her tin hat, arm band and respirator, and makes her way to the roof. There she meets Miss Sandelson gortesquely overdressed for the role of air raid warden, and together they put out incendiaries which fall on tthe roof.

Below in the street three of the girls, nude under their top coats rescue six horses from a blazing stable, and lead them to the safety of a police station. The girls are temporarily detained in the cells.

That night the blitz reaches a new fury. Hatrick moves about the darkened theatre photographing the company cowering in their sleeping bags in the dressing rooms, in the club room, and on stage where standing scenery from a Pasha’s harem makes a grotesque comment.

Maltravers and Miss Sandelson haunt the theatre comforting the girls, dressing the casualties brought in f r o m the streets, and in the former’s case, keeping a suspicious eye on Hatrick.

Stewart too haunts the theatre offices and dressing rooms looking for clues to the traitor. In Miss Sandelson’s office he examines a presentation copy of

Goeth’s Faust in German. In the f l y leaf a name has been scratched out, and the name Emma Sandelson substituted. Be holds the page to the light, and we read Fraulein Emma Sandelstein, Berlin 1920.

“ S o Miss Sandelson is German,” he muses to himself. “1 wonder where her true sympathies lie in this war.”

“I’ll vouch for her,” s a y s Maltravers, who by chance

2 8 .

walks i n t o t h e o f f i ce s u r p r i s i n g Stewart

"Maybe," he r e p l i e s . "My money's on Hatrick. ' I

"A hundred q u i d ? " a s k s Maltravers .

"Done, I ' says S t e w a r t .

T h e company i s t o g i v e a conce r t t o t h e Navy i n a warehouse on Southampton docks. L e e and Joe d r i v e down, p a s s i n g th rough t h e E a s t End of London on t h e way and c a l l i n g i n a t S t Pauls where a Sunday morning service i s i n p r o g r e s s . A t i t s end they climb up t o t h e

w h i s p e r i n g g a l l e r y i n t h e dome, and whisper t he i r love f o r each other f r o m e i the r s i d e of it, then m e e t i n t h e m i d d l e t o k i s s . L e e however seems somewhat reserved, on a c c o u n t of h e r t a l k w i t h Stewart , and Joe n o t i c e s it. H e q u e s t i o n s it, b u t she den ie s it ra the r unconvincingly, so t h a t an unease spr ings up between them.

They con t inue t h e i r journey t o Southampton, a r r i v i n g i n t h e evening. A crate s t a g e i s being l a i d i n a

warehouse , and d r e s s i n g rooms are being improvised f r o m b l a n k e t s hung over s teel cables, slung between t h e a l l o y s u p p o r t s of t h e warehouse. S a i l o r s hang f rom t h e r a f t e r s overhead, wh i s t l i ng a s t h e girls s ta r t t o change . I n v a i n of f icers t r y t o get them down.

I n a ber th Some d i s t a n c e o f f , t h e Queen Mary is docked. I t i s i n i t s w a r t i m e grey p a i n t , and i s crowded w i t h

t r o o p s i n desert k i t . Watched by Stewart , Joe dr ives o f f towards i t , and having e s t a b l i s h e d h i s c r e d e n t i a l s , g o e s on board and s tar ts shoot ing. H e spends some t i m e alone i n t h e c a p t a i n ' s cab in wai t ing f o r him t o a r r i v e , which ange r s t h a t gentleman as being a breach of

s e c u r i t y , a n d a r a t i n g i s d i s c i p l i n e d . Eventua l ly he

leaves t o r e t u r n t o t h e conce r t where Miss Sandelson g e t s t o per form a hornpipe dressed a s Barnacle B i l l ,

a n d Lee receives a tremendous recept ion i n the echoing hanga r .

2 8 A .

To Cutch U Spy

Fig. 21

gerous message : 'Queen Mary due Rio March 14th 18 hundred hours.' A submarine, a well-placed torpedo, and a terrific mili- tary and propaganda coup €or Germany as the giant Queen Mnry settles on the bed of the south Atlantic. The message, in morse code, is i n the blades of grass along the nearside river bank, and reads from left to right: long long short long (Q) short short long (U), short (E), short (E), long short (N). And so on.

All these methods are highly ingenious, but are useful only for short messages. I t was the ordinary-looking Ietter that con- tained larger messages and made up the bulk of items censored. Because trained enemy agents never sent letters that looked or sounded suspicious, the censors on Bermuda always looked for letters that seemed to have no reason for their existence. Nndya Gardiner :

The more innocent a letter, the more suspect it was. If we got a business letter which didn't seem WO& the postage we would look a t it and if we felt chat this was suspicious we would ask the financial people or the business people to look out for more

2 9 .

A f t e r t h e show Mal t r ave r s fu s ses about g e t t i n g every- body ready t o r e t u r n promptly t o t h e Windmill Theatre ,

bu t L e e and Joe e l u d e him, and d r i v e o f f t o s tay i n a count ry house ho te l o v e r n i g h t . She goes t o bed w i t h

h i m . I t i s n e c e s s a r i l y an uneasy a l l i a n c e , a s she

takes advantage of h i s e v e r y absence from t h e i r room t o spy on h i s papers . On a p i e c e of headed notepaper from t h e Queen Mary she f i n d s a p e n c i l l e d m e m o "

"Q.M. Alexandria 1 8 0 0 hours Sep t 1 3 t h . "

Back a t t h e Windmill, C h a r l i e Hope t h e p i a n i s t s i t s on s t a g e doodl ing a t t h e p i ano , and making morse l i k e sounds, w h i l e be ing f i lmed by Joe. Behind h i m i s a backc lo th of a r u r a l scene - a b r i d g e , cas t le , r i v e r e t c , and Joe is t a k i n g g r e a t care w i t h the l i g h t i n g of it, working very c l o s e t o t h e canvas. S tewar t appears on s t a g e

and asks t h e p i a n i s t what number he i s p lay ing .

C h a r l i e te l ls h i m he i s p l a y i n g w i t h t h e i d e a of a scat song f o r Lee.

"Scat?", S tewar t r e p e a t s , puzz led . " J u s t a jumble of words and le t te rs , " C h a r l i e e x p l a i n s .

S t e w a r t nods thought fu l ly as he s t u d i e s t h e backc lo th .

W e mix through t o Lee on s t a g e s i n g i n g a b a l l a d a g a i n s t t h e same backc lo th , as she s t rol ls a long t h e r i v e r bank wi th p a r a s o l a t w i r l ...

In t h e audi tor ium we see it i s number 7 . S t e w a r t , prowling about , s p o t s a man w i t h ope ra g l a s s e s looking a t t h e s t a g e t h e n w r i t i n g something down. Using h i s own ope ra g l a s s e s he suddenly r e a l i s e s what has e luded

him earlier when he s t u d i e d the backc lo th - t h a t it c o n t a i n s a message i n Morse code p a i n t e d i n t h e blades

of g r a s s a long t h e n e a r s i d e r i v e r bank. H e r e a d s from l e f t t o r i g h t : long long s h o r t long ( Q ) , short s h o r t long ( U ) I s h o r t ( E ) I shor t ( E ) , long sho r t (N) , and so

on.

3 0 .

S t e w a r t w r i t e s i t down. The f u l l message r e a d s "Queen Mary a r r i v e s Alexandr ia 1 8 0 0 hours , September 13 . I t

T h e m a n w i t h t h e ope ra g l a s s e s sees S t e w a r t watching h im, and l e a v e s t h e thea t re a t a run . H e p a s s e s J o e i n t h e f o y e r , and speaks t o h i m u r g e n t l y i n German say ing , " A h , H a t r i c k , n i c e t o s e e you aga in . D o you come here o f t e n ? " A s he s a y s t h i s he pa ts him on t h e

shoulder a t t h e same t i m e c o v e r t l y t h r u s t i n g t h e message he h a s w r i t t e n down i n t o J o e ' s t o p pocket , and b lunders on out of t h e b u i l d i n g . S t ewar t , coming a f te r h im, i s j u s t i n t i m e t o see t h i s . H e t o o l e a v e s t h e

t h e a t r e t o g i v e chase a c r o s s a n empty P i c c a d i l l y .

A reverse s h o t f r o m behind t h e arrow i n Cupid ' s bow on t h e s t a t u e of Eros, p o i n t s up t h e man, as two men c l o s e i n on h i m as he t r ies t o run away round t h e base of t h e s t a t u e . T h e i r a c t i v i t i e s are d i r e c t e d by Stewart

who b r i n g s up the rear. T h e spy i s t r i p p e d up and he ld over t h e b a s i n i n t h e f o u n t a i n . S t e w a r t bends over him and hisses, "Is H a t r i c k your confede ra t e?"

The man r e f u s e s t o speak, and a t a nod from S t e w a r t

i s he ld under t h e water f o r a long moment. Emerging, s p l u t t e r i n g and gasping f o r a i r , S t e w a r t q u e s t i o n s h i m

aga in . " T e l l m e about H a t r i c k , " he demands. "1 knew h i m i n Germany," he s a y s . "Is he working f o r t h e Germans?" pursues S t e w a r t . ''1 can t e l l you n o t h i n g , " says t h e spy. " I t ' s p r e t t y obvious sh rugs S t e w a r t . "1 saw you pass him your message about t h e Queen Mary j u s t now. W e l l I can a s s u r e you it w o n ' t g e t th rough."

A t a f u r t h e r nod from S t e w a r t t h e spy is unceremoniously drowned i n t h e bas in of t h e f o u n t a i n .

In L e e ' s d r e s s i n g droom, S tewar t i n t e rv i ews her a s she makes up for t h e p e n u l t i m a t e show. grave , as he demands t o know where J o e i s , and e x a c t l y when she p l a n s t o see him a g a i n .

H i s manner is

31.

" I ' v e no idea , " she lies, h a s t i l y wiping off a message w r i t t e n i n l i p s t i c k on h e r m i r r o r , which has escaped S t e w a r t v s a t t e n t i o n , r e a d i n g "Back f o r t h e 5 o ' c l o c k show Love Joe."

"Did you know t h a t J o e w a s f i l m i n g t h e Queen Mary yes t e rday?" he a s k s h e r .

"So what?" she asks.

"Come with m e , " he says , "and I'll show you what ."

H e l e a d s her down t o t h e s t a g e , and has Nugent r o l l down t h e Morse impregnated back drop. H e shows h e r t h e code markings on t h e c l o t h i n f r e s h b l ack p a i n t .

"See," he says "Morse. Long long s h o r t long Q , short s h o r t long U , s h o r t E , short E , long shor t N ... The f u l l message r e a d s Queen Mary a r r i v e s Alexandria 1800 hours September 13th .

Lee i s agonized. " N O , " she exc la ims . " I t cannot be

t r u e !

"YOU know bet ter t h a n that," says Stewar t gr imly. "And what ' s more, t h e fellow who received t h i s message wrote it down and passed i t on t o H a t r i c k as he f l e d t h e thea t re j u s t now.''

"HOW could it be?" she w a i l s .

"He was cap tu red a t Dunkirk and escaped eh?" prompts S t e w a r t . She nods her agreement. " I t ' s my t h e o r y , " he c o n t i n u e s b l e a k l y , "that t h e Nazis t u rned him i n exchange for h i s ag ree ing t o spy f o r them, and al lowed him t o escape . see 7: have no choice."

I'll have t o take him in. You must

!'I suppose so, 'I Lee agrees r e l u c t a n t l y , but goes on once a g a i n , t o l i e about where Joe w i l l be l a t e r .

3 2 .

"I hope you won ' t be so f o o l i s h as t o t r y and t i p h i m

o f f , I t s a y s S tewar t .

''1 l ove h i m ! I d o n ' t c a r e w h a t h e ' s done! I love

h i m , " c r ies Lee.

"1 a s s u r e you it can have no f u t u r e , I' warns S tewar t . "Don t g e t involved .. I '

L e e t h o u g h t f u l l y bends t o look a t t he p a i n t e d b a c k c l o t h . " I t ' s p r e t t y s m a r t t h i s Morse code, ' ' she says .

" Y e s , I' Stewar t a g r e e s . "It can be dots and dashes, o r long and s h o r t s t r o k e s . O r a l or v i s u a l .

"Is t h i s t h e best code?" L e e asks dis ingenuous ly .

" Y e s and no," S tewar t rep l ies . " I t ' s quick and compara t ive ly s imple . The t r o u b l e i s so many p e o p l e know it. Most of t h e n a v i e s of t h e world f o r example. I t ' s t h e same w i t h semaphore." H e goes on t o e x p l a i n a l i t t l e about codes - how t h e y a r e e i ther s u b s t i t u t i o n

o r t r a n s p o s i t i o n of l e t t e r s , or sometimes bo th , as i n t h e famous f i r s t world war code ADFGX invented by Colonel F r i t z Nabel.

H e a p o l o g i s e s f u r bo r ing h e r , bu t t o h i s s u r p r i s e she

shows g r e a t i n t e r e s t ( she has a l r e a d y envis ioned t h e p o s s i b i l i t y of having to g e t i n touch wi th her l o v e r by code, i n order t o g e t t o h i m b e f o r e Steward and e n q u i r e s about s impler more e a s i l y acqu i r ed codes. H e t e l l s her of t h e s i m p l e s t of t h e s u b s t i t u t i o n codes where f o r each l e t te r of t h e a l p h a b e t w e s u b s t i t u t e t h e l e t t e r which immediately fo l lows it. (For Z

s u b s t i t u t e A ) . Obviously t o d e c i p h e r we r e v e r s e the p r o c e s s . She i s e n t h u s i a s t i c about t h i s , and he shows h e r t h e s l i g h t l y more complex J u l i u s Caesar c ipher w i th i t s three ahead le t ter s u b s t i t u t i o n . Using a p a i n t b rush and a p i e c e of backc lo th he draws t h e following ...

3 3 .

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABC etc. etc.

DOZDBV ORRN ERWX ZDBV EHIRUH BRX F U R W WKH URDG ALWAYS LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE ROAD.

They leave the stage. Lee runs up to the c l u b room, and then all around the theatre trying to find Joe and warn him of his impending arrest, but can find him nowhere. No one in the company has seen him either.

Distraught, she returns to the stage and gets into a huddle with Charlie Hope, the pianist, telling him she has some ideas for a scat song.

We move to Lee's big number at the end of the fifth show of the day. Lee comes on in Roman costume with helmet and plumes. The nudes support in skimpy togas. Stewart is haunting the auditorium, bars, dressing rooms, and foyer looking for Joe,

Lee does a whole scat number in the Julius Caesar Cipher. What we hear is as follows:

BRX DUH ALVFRYHUHG PHHW PH VW SDXOV DIWHU VKRZ

YOU ARE DISCOVEXED m E T ME ST PAULS AFTER SONG.

"What the hell kind of show i s that?" asks an usher as Stewart is passing by at the back of the auditorium. He stops to listen and takes in the costume.

"Of course, I' he says "it's the Julius Caesar Cipher. And dammit, I taught it to her myself."

In one of the boxes a hand protrudes from behind a curtain and is seen writing down the letters. After a brief look round the auditorium which fails to pick up the writing hand, Stewart himself starts to write the letters down. We cut to a CU of the paper on the ledge of the box. Itreads "You are discovered.

3 4 .

Meet m e a t S t . P a u l ' s after show." The hand ho ld ing t h e pen is withdrawn as S t e w a r t makes h i s way t o t h e f r o n t of t h e t h e a t r e . A t e r r i f i c a i r r a i d i s i n p r o g r e s s . T h e Queens Thea t r e r e c e i v e s a d i r e c t h i t ,

a couple of hundred yardsup Shaf tesbury Avenue f r o m t h e Windmill. On s t a g e , Lee calms t h e audience w i t h a qu ip .

" T h a t bomb I unders tand j u s t demolished t h e Queens T h e a t r e , " she says . "They should be p leased . I t ' s

t h e on ly smash h i t t h a t p l a c e e v e r had!"

A bomb h i t s t h e Windmill. Lee s t i c k s two f i n g e r s up t o t h e bombers above. The audience cheers w i l d l y . One of t h e nudes moves t o echo t h e ges tu re and L e e shakes

he r f i n g e r a t t h e g i r l .

"NOW. Now. What w i l l t he Lord Chamberlain say!"

I t i s the end of t h e show. The company beds down in t h e s h a t t e r e d t h e a t r e wa tched over anxiously by Maktravers.

" W e ' re s a f e enough now, he says . "Lightning doesn I t

s t r i k e t w i c e i n t h e same p l a c e . "

Immediately ano the r bomb blows a huge hole i n t h e wa l l . The g i r l s s t a r t a s i n g song t o drown t h e n o i s e o u t s i d e . S t e w a r t p a s s e s Mal t r ave r s .

"You owe m e a hundred quid, o l d boy." he remarks d r y l y .

" A r e you s u r e ? " a s k s t h e amazed Mal t ravers .

"Pos i t ive , I' s a y s S t e w a r t . "Absolutely p o s i t i v e . I t

W e c u t t o a long shot of St Pauls Cathedra l as t h e bombs r a i n down. The whole c i t y i s i n flames, s i l h o u e t t i n g t h e g r e a t c a t h e d r a l . h e r s e l f i n t h e whisper ing g a l l e r y where, as be fo re you on ly have t o p u t your ear t o t h e wal l

I n t h e dome L e e f i n d s

3 5 .

and you can hea r t h e f a i n t e s t whisper from t h e o t h e r s i d e of t h e dome. Foo t s t eps approach. I t i s Joe..

"Thanks for t h e t i p o f f , " he says . "It w a s very q u i c k t h i n k i n g . I d i d n ' t know you knew c iphe r s . "

"You d i d n ' t t h i n k I knew any th ing , " she r i p o s t e s . "For God's sake , Joe , why d i d you do it?"

"I d i d n ' t ! . . . I ' v e done nothing!" p leads Joe.

"You've g o t t o b e l i e v e me!"

''1 d o n ' t know t h a t I can ," she says. "Stewart says t h e spy i n t he audience knew you. H e c a l l e d you by name i n German. H e a c t u a l l y gave you t h e message about t h e Queen Mary . . . 'I

J o e g rabs h e r by t h e shoulders and looks e a r n e s t l y i n t o h e r face.

" H e w a s a p r i s o n e r of w a r w i t h m e . H e recognised m e from t h e camp w e w e r e i n near Cologne, j u s t before Dunkirk. T h e Germans must have l e t him escape so he

could spy for them."

"And you too?" she accuses.

"NO! Absolu te ly not! ... I t o l d you what happened. My escape was l e g i t . I g o t i n t o France and t h e French underground g o t m e o u t . I t o l d you a l l about it . . . ' I

H e t a k e s t h e crumpled message o u t of h i s top pocket. "Here's the goddammed message he p l an ted on m e . See

I've done no th ing w i t h it."

"HOW d a 1 know t h a t ? " she asks , backing away.

"You d o n ' t , I g u e s s , " he says "but i t ' s t h e t r u t h , I swear it. Look, what e l s e has he go t on m e ? "

3 6 .

"A whole bunch of t h i n g s , I' she s a y s c o l d l y . "The American s p e l l i n g of Endeavor on s t a q e . You re -ar ranged t h e f l a g s f o r t h e convoy number - he s a w you i n t h e r e h e a r s a l . And as an ex-navy man you know semaphore."

"Of cour se I d i d , " Joe p r o t e s t s . "They d i d n ' t look r i g h t f o r t h e camera. But t h e r e w a s no message i n t h e f l a g s he ld by t h e g i r l s . I t was g i b b e r i s h . "

"The s a i l o r who took down t h e words Convoy and Endeavour d i d n ' t seem t o t h i n k s o , " Lee r e p l i e s b r u t a l l y .

''1 swear t h e r e was no message," J o e p leads d e s p e r a t e l y .

"And t h e c l i n c h e r is,," con t inues L e e r emorse l e s s ly , ' 'your presence a t Seven Oaks, Swansea, and Southampton t h e v e r y day be fo re t h e Germans h i t each of them."

"Pure co-incidence, d a r l i n g . I'

H e s t e p s towards he r . She backs away aga in .

" I t ' s p r e t t y damning I ' d have s a i d , " she says .

" I ' d have s a i d c o n c l u s i v e , I' s a y s Malco lm Stewar t , e n t e r i n g t h e dome.

Ha t r i ck looks a t him s o u r l y .

''I wondered how long it would t a k e you t o g e t he re , S t ewar t , " he says . "That c h i l d i s h J u l i u s Caesar Cipher w a s n ' t going t o foo l you f o r ve ry long."

Lee apo log i ses f o r it. " I t w a s t h e b e s t I could do a t s h o r t n o t i c e . "

" I t was very fond and ve ry f o o l i s h , " says Stewart . "AS your count ry is n o t a t w a r t h e r e i s nothing, u n f o r t u n a t e l y I can charge you wi th . we had a common cause . "

But I thought

3 7 .

"I t looks l i k e l o v e comes f i r s t w i t h m e , " c r ies

t h e d i s t r a u g h t L e e . " I n s p i t e of e v e r y t h i n g I d o n ' t b e l i e v e he d i d i t ."

She moves t o him.

"With m e i t ' s d u t y , " s a y s S t e w a r t . "Ha t r i ck , I ' m p l a c i n g you under arrest! I'

Joe g i v e s L e e a l a s t k i s s , and i s suddenly gone, b o l t i n g l i k e l i g h t n i n g through t h e doorway which l e a d s t o t h e s t o n e s ta i rcase down t o t h e nave.

S t e w a r t s t ro l l s unconcernedly t o t h e p a r a p e t from w h e r e he can look down i n t o t h e nave. L e e j o i n s h i m .

A f t e r a pause Joe emerges from t h e s t a i r c a s e , and runs down t h e long body o f t h e c a t h e d r a l f l u t t e r i n g i n subdued c a n d l e l i g h t , i t s windows r ed w i t h t h e

f i r e s o u t s i d e . A s he approaches t h e main doors t w o men d e t a t c h themselves f r o m t h e shadows of s t a t u e s , and t a k e hold of him. L e e t u r n s away t o h idehe r tears . S t e w a r t p u t s a sympathe t ic a r m round h e r shoulders .

"What w i l l you do w i t h him?" a sks Lee.

"We've no cho ice I ' m a f r a i d . I t ' l l be quick and q u i e t , ' ' s ays S tewar t . "Tonight I should t h i n k - a f t e r h e ' s

t o l d u s w h a t he knows. 'I

"so t h e r e ' l l be no t r i a l ? " she a s k s .

S tewar t shakes h i s head.

c a n ' t a f f o r d t h a t s o r t of t h i n g a t t h e moment."

"Can 1 s e e him aga in?"

"You wouldn ' t wan t t o . I t ' s possible w e may have t o be less than p o l i t e t o him. For t h e moment a t any r a t e w e ' l l hold him round t h e co rne r a t t h e Cannon S t r e e t cop shop. lr

3 8 .

"I j u s t know h e ' s no t g u i l t y , " s h e p l eads . " I t ' s a l l c i r c u m s t a n t i a l . I t ' s g o t t o be someone e lse ."

H e s m i l e s i n d u l g e n t l y a t h e r .

"Find h i m by midnight Sher lock Holmes, and we'll l e t

your boy f r i e n d go. Otherwise ... I ' m r e a l l y s o r r y . "

"This j u s t i c e i s a bit rough i s n ' t i t?" she storms. "You're bo th judge and e x e c u t i o n e r . ' I

" I t ' s w a r t i m e my d e a r . W e j u s t h a v e n ' t g o t t h e t i m e f o r t h e n i c e t i e s . ' Sp ies g e t s h o r t s h i f t . "

"1'11 f i n d h i m , " she y e l l s . " Y o u ' l l see!"

I n t e a r s she runs from t h e c a t h e d r a l .

Back a t t h e Windmill f o r t h e last show, L e e m e e t s M i s s Sandelson, and t e l l s he r of Joe ' s a r res t and imminent execut ion . L e e y e t aga in i n s i s t s on h i s innocence - t h a t all t h e evidence a g a i n s t him is circumstant ia l , and she conso le s he r as best s h e can. I n a d d i t i o n she sugges t s t h a t Lee had b e t t e r s ta r t looking f o r t h e real spy P D Q .

" I f on ly t h e y ' d g ive him a proper t r i a l , it would g ive m e t i m e , I' says Lee .

"They won ' t do t h a t , 'I Miss Sandelson r e p l i e s . c a n ' t admit t o t h e public t h e r e a r e any s p i e s over he re . 'I

"They

"What am I going t o do?" she asks h e l p l e s s l y . "He'l.1 go t o ground now."

" H e c a n ' t " s ays M i s s Sandelson. "Didn ' t Stewart s t o p t h e l a s t message g e t t i n g through? He's g o t t o have another go, and he knows t h e p a i n t e d backdrop c a n ' t p o s s i b l y work now, a s everyone w i l l be looking for it. So you'd b e t t e r keep your eyes pee led . "

3 9 .

"1 guess SO," she ag rees .

"And w h a t ' s more 3: need t o have another go too ."

IIYou?" asks L e e , puzzled.

" Y e s - a t g e t t i n g on t h a t bloody s t a g e i n my bear costume. I'

Lee l aughs . " O f course you must ... And you know, you're r i g h t . I h a d n ' t thought of t h e spy having t o t r y again. H e must ! And another t h i n g - t hose g i r l s w i t h t h e

f l a g s must know something. Somebody m u s t have t o l d them t o hold t h e f l a g s i n c e r t a i n p o s i t i o n s . "

" T h a t ' s my g i r l , " r o a r s Miss Sandelson. "Now you're t h i n k i n g . " And L e e h u r r i e s o f f t o Nugent R e i l l y t o a sk h i m , as t h e choreographer what he knows about t h e f l a g s .

"Nothing," he r e p l i e s . "1 had t h e m hold t h e f l a g s any old way which made them look sexy."

Lee goes t o t h e g i r l s ' d r e s s i n g room, and asks t h e m i f anybody changed t h e p o s i t i o n of t h e i r f l a g s .

"Only Joe, I' t hey say "dur ing f i lming. 'I

"So Joe was r i g h t about t h e f l a g s being g ibbe r i sh , " she muses. "None t h e less it s t i l l l eaves him i n t h e s h i t . "

Discouraged, s h e rehashes t h e Sevenoaks number w i t h

t h e r e l e v a n t g i r l s . They s t i c k t o t h e i r stories of

mis s ing costumes, and be ing locked i n t h e t o i l e t .

Now she has t o abandon h e r s l e u t h i n g , as f i r s t

p o s i t i o n s are called f o r t h e l a s t show.

I n i t e m number 7 s h e i s on s t a g e , holding her Nelson

pose complete wi th eye pa t ch and te lescope .

40 .

H e r t e l e s c o p e focuses on t h e r e d and b lack s a i l s of t h e c u t o u t windmil l se t i n t o t h e c l i f f s of t h e back- c l o t h . The r e d ones are p l a i n l y semaphoring, s topp ing and s t a r t i n g , as t h e o t h e r s s lowly and cont inuous ly r evo lve . Moving t h e focus she p i c k s up a hand working t h e machinery of t h e s a i l s . It wears Mal t r ave r s ' entwined s e r p e n t r i n g .

R e a l i s a t i o n dawns on L e e . "Of c o u r s e , " she says to herself . "The semaphoring i s not done by t h e g i r l s , bu t by the s a i l s of t h e windmi l l . And i t ' s Mal t r ave r s o p e r a t i n g it! ' I

A s soon as t h e number ends L e e dashes off i n search of M i s s Sandelson, and o r a phone t o c a l l S t e w a r t a t

t h e Cannon Street p o l i c e s t a t i o n . Half a dozen g i r l s are w a i t i n g t o u s e t h e pay phone, so she runs on. I n a backstage passage , she bumps wi th a c r y of re l ie f i n t o t h e dancing bear s lowly p i r o u e t t i n g towards h e r .

"Oh M i s s Sandelson, you must h e l p m e , " she b u r s t s o u t "I know who t h e spy i s - i t ' s B e r t i e Maltravers! I

s a w h i m working the s a i l s of t he windmil l i n t h e l a s t

number, sending the semaphore message. D o n ' t you see i t ' s n o t t h e g i r l s w i t h t h e f l a g s - i t ' s h i m .

I t ' s obvious r e a l l y - h e ' s t h e one w i t h a cces s t o every-

t h i n g i n t h i s t h e a t r e . W e locked t h e g i r l s up, and changed over t h e costumes, and p a i n t e d t h e backdrop and k i l l e d D r Vol tan and t h a t sa i lor . We've g o t t o g e t a message t o Malcolm S t e w a r t b e f o r e something awful happens t o Joe , and a l l t he g i r l s are us ing t h e pay phone.. . . I'

The bear p u t s a f i n g e r t o i t s l i p s , counse l l i ng s i l e n c e ,

and p o i n t s u p s t a i r s . c l u b room, p a s s i n g a number of g i r l s who a r e amused a t Miss Sande l son ' s t e m e r i t y i n p e r s i s t i n g in t r y i n g t o g e t on s t a g e i n her b e a r costume, d e s p i t e Mal t r ave r s ' f i r m o b j e c t i o n s .

Together t h e y run up t o t h e

41.

Once i n t h e c l u b room, lit r e d l y by t h e f i r e s of t h e

bombardment o u t s i d e , t h e bear l o c k s t h e door, and t u r n s towards L e e , who h a s moved t o t h e te lephone and i s having d i f f i c u l t y i n g e t t i n g a l i n e . She t a k e s t h e b e a r ' s paws i n s u p p l i c a t i o n .

"Please," she implores . "P lease hu r ry and h e l p m e ge t

a l i n e . Every minute i s v i t a l . I must c a l l t h e

p o l i c e s t a t i o n immediately. l i s t e n t o m e ? "

D o you t h i n k he w i l l

T h e bea r removes i t s head, r e v e a l i n g t h e person i n s i d e t o be n o t M i s s Sandelson, b u t B e r t i e Mal t ravers .

Lee sh r i eks and cowers away.

" O h I expect h e ' l l l i s t e n a l r i g h t , " he murmurs smoothly " so t h a t ' s p robably an e x t r a o r d i n a r i l y good r eason f o r n o t t e l l i n g h i m . I t h i n k t h i s l i t t l e s e c r e t should be o u r s a l o n e , d o n ' t you?"

A t gun p o i n t he f o r c e s h e r away from the phone, and

o u t o n t o t h e r o o f , w h e r e t h e n o i s e of bombs and a n t i a i r c ra f t f i r e i s dea fen ing .

"You ' l l never get away w i t h t h i s , " she scoffs. "There

are f a r t o o many peop le around.' '

"They won' t hea r a t h i n g in t h i s r a c k e t , and one

more body i n t h e streets w i l l s c a r c e l y be no t i ced . I '

H e forces h e r t o t h e p a r a p e t over looking Great Windmill Street .

"Why?" she a s k s , p l a y i n g f o r t i m e , "Why d id you do i t?"

"Money and p a t r i o t i s m , I' he s a y s g l i b l y . German.

''I'm a c t u a l l y

My real name is Maltgruber .

42.

"I don ' t g i v e a s h i t what it she yells. "You've backed t h e wrong hor se i n t h i s race, b u s t e r . I'

''1 d o n / t t h i n k so," he sneers. " W e ' l l f i n i s h you l o t off i n a couple of months. A d o l f w i l l be i n Buckingham Pa lace by Chris tmas. How can you doubt it?"

"You h a v e n ' t g o t a p raye r . J u s t w a i t till t h e Yanks

come i n , " she s h o u t s .

' '1 wouldn ' t count on t h a t , " he laughs . " D o n ' t you know

t h a t Roosevel t has promised t h e American people your boys are no t going t o be s e n t i n t o any f o r e i g n wars."

" I t ' s a promise he won ' t keep - y o u ' l l see," s h e says d e f i a n t l y .

"But alas you won ' t be h e r e t o , " Maltravers r i p o s t e s , pushing her t o t h e edge of t h e pa rape t . "Goodbye, o l d bean. 'I

H e ex tends h i s arm t o shove h e r o v e r , f o r c i n g he r t o t h e u l t i m a t e extreme of danger .

I n t h e c l u b room, M i s s Sandelson suddenly appears f r o m behind a s c r e e n , and p r e s s e s a swi t ch on the w a l l which

l i g h t s up and sets i n motion t h e g i a n t s a i l s of the Windmi l l on t h e roo f . One of t h e sa i l s h o i s t s Maltravers up i n the a i r , and on i t s downward swing drops him screaming t o h i s d e a t h i n i h e s t ree t below.

L e e r u n s i n s i d e , ernbraces Miss Sandelson, and w i t h

h e r he lp starts t o phone d e s p e r a t e l y .

W e mix through t o Cannon Street p o l i c e s t a t i o n , where Malcolm Stewar t c o n g r a t u l a t e s L e e , and promises t o a l e r t t h e Queen Mary t o change her sailing p lans . Joe and Lee are r e -un i t ed , and a f t e r a fond embrace he i s

r e l e a s e d f r o m cus tody , and he and L e e walk t o g e t h e r down Ludgate H i l l p a s s i n g f i r e f i g h t e r s , ambulance crews, W.V.S. a i r r a i d wardens and bombed o u t homeless doing

43.

what t h e y can t o e x i s t i n , and c o n t r o l t h e maelstrom. A s t hey wa lk we h e a r Winston C h u r c h i l l ' s v o i c e over , speaking h i s eu logy t o t h e peop le of London.

"1 see t h e damage by t h e enemy a t t a c k s ; b u t I a l s o see s i d e by s ide w i t h t h e d e v a s t a t i o n , and amid t h e r u i n s , q u i e t , c o n f i d e n t , b r i g h t and s m i l i n g e y e s , beaming w i t h a consc iousness of be ing associated w i t h a cause f a r h igher and wider t h a n any human o r p e r s o n a l issue. I see the s p i r i t of anunconquerable people . "

Behind them w e see pe rhaps t h e m o s t po ignan t image o f t h e second world w a r - Wren's great mas te rp iece s t and ing indomitable a g a i n s t t h e f laming wreckage of a once g r e a t c i t y . The A l l C lear sounds.

*** THE END ***

4 3 A .

4 3 B .

. .