A guide for banks by Different River

After the AffairRebuilding the love and trust again

“Me and my bank?

We just don’t love each other anymore.

Where’s the sparkle gone, the trust?

He’s been seeing someone else I just know.

Someone exciting, someone dangerous.

He doesn’t care about me.

Perhaps he never did?”

Part 1

1987-2008

21 years of fun

Part 1

1987-2008

21 years of fun

quite often with someone else

Once, banks were

conservative

safe

They inspired

It was like a comfortable

It was like a comfortable, long lasting,

It was like a comfortable, long lasting marriage...

Then

Thenon October 27th 1986

Thenon October 27th 1986

Something

happened

...the banks met someone new!

Someone newexciting

Someone differentSomeone who made them

feel great

Someone who made them feel rich

...and quite

like this guy

...and quite

like this guy

It’s all about

bucks kid.

The rest is

conversation.

“The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five

trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from

inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and

what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety

percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create

nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine,

upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while

everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not

naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free

market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal,

I've still got a lot to teach you”. Gordon Gekko, ‘Wall Street’, 1987

“The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five

trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from

inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and

what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety

percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create

nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine,

upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while

everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not

naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free

market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal,

I've still got a lot to teach you”. Gordon Gekko, ‘Wall Street’, 1987!

And did they tell us what all this

could one day mean for us?

youWhat

do

think?

And thus it began...

After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999

Vermillion Books, pp 131-132

Stages of the Affair

The person having the affair

1. At the beginning

The partner of the

person having the affair

Justification – “I need this affair

because things are so bad with my

partner”

Desire – “I really want to be with

this person”

Concerns – “There are problems

in our relationship, but I don‟t know

how/am too afraid to tackle them”

Denial – “Perhaps things will work

out on their own?”

The banks seemed happy.

Not dull and bored anymore.

Bought us things even.

How could there be a problem?

FTSE 100

After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999

Vermillion Books, pp 131-132

Stages of the Affair

The person having the affair

2. As the affair progresses

The partner of the

person having the affair

Denial – “This affair is making no

difference to my committed

relationship”

Questioning– “My partner seems

different, but I don‟t know why”

Maybe we were curious.

How come things just seemed to

keep getting better and better?

But they just did...

Ave

rag

e U

K h

ou

se

pri

ce

s £

and everyone said

everything was fine...

...well, almost

everyone...

and everyone said

everything was fine...

Nouriel Roubini, Economist...

George Magnus, UBS...

And this guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU6PamCQ6zw

(watch and weep)

After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999

Vermillion Books, pp 131-132

Stages of the Affair

The person having the affair

3. If the affair continues

The partner of the

person having the affair

Questioning – “I am not sure

where this affair is going. Is it more

important to me than my committed

relationship?”

Anxious– “My partner is behaving

very differently and is often very

secretive. I wonder if he/she is

seeing someone else?”

Could it last?

In the second half

of 2008 we got a

message...

We got pretty upset

After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999

Vermillion Books, pp 131-132

Stages of the Affair

The person having the affair

4. If the affair is revealed

The partner of the

person having the affair

Confusion – “I thought I could

contain the affair. Now it is out of

control. I feel guilty about the

situation.”

Unhappiness – “I thought I knew

my partner, but they are like a

stranger to me, I feel betrayed.”

Felt pretty bad

and now we feel

abandonedresentful

angry

bitter

and the banks feel

regret aimlessshame

confusion

even defiance...

or just hope it can be

business as usual...

But it can’t unless we want to end up with a

<pause>

Part 2

2009 -

Repairing

the damage

and here’s

the best news

It wasn’t all your fault

this is how it felt for us when things were good

this is how it felt for us when things were bad

but however it was, this is how it always felt...

The Ego-State (or Parent-Adult-Child, PAC) modelAt any given time, a person experiences and manifests their personality through a mixture of behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Typically, according to TA, there are three ego-states that people consistently use:Parent ("exteropsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent's actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.Adult ("neopsyche"): a state of the ego which is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that cloud its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.Child ("archaeopsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

The thing is...we

allowed ourselves to

get into that place

responsibility

responsibilityyours

responsibilityandyours

responsibilityandyours ours

Help us be your equals in this relationship

and here’s another thing...

there’s no point simply asking us what we want

we may just tell you that we want it like it was

orbecause back then, whether you were

what we didn’t know didn’t seem to hurt us...

this guy this guy

...until one day it did

...until one day it didBut even now...

most of us don’twant to hang

the bankers

we just want to feel

OK, secure, safe

Can’t we make it 2004 again (please)?

(Ok, maybe not 2004...)

no

no

it’s a changed world now

We need to grow up

We need to grow up

And you need to help us

so that it‟s no longer this

but this...

ok, how?

Help us ‘own’ our

own money1

What does that mean?

Yes, it remains ours.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking

interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the

door of a big intimidating branch.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking

interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the

door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign

embassy, like being on their soil.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking

interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the

door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign

embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you

are subject to their laws, rules, customs.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking

interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the

door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign

embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you

are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money

remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking

interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the

door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign

embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you

are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money

remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it. We handed it over for

you to look after, we gave you the power.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking

interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the

door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign

embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you

are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money

remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it. We handed it over for

you to look after, we gave you the power. There are things

we can do and things we can‟t do with our own money.

Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking

interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the

door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign

embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you

are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money

remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it. We handed it over for

you to look after, we gave you the power. There are things

we can do and things we can‟t do with our own money. And

deep down that means that we are still being the child.

Coming next...the age of mybanking

because now it‟s about

Coming next...the age of mybanking

Interfaces that are comprehensive

that give us controlInterfaces that are comprehensive

that give us controlflexibility

Interfaces that are comprehensive

that give us controlflexibility

Interfaces that are comprehensive

and the big one...

emotional ownership

spaces that feel like ours not yours...

It‟s starting to

happen... with

more access...

and elsewhere power is starting to move...

but we await...

?

Right now, who still feels in charge of this relationship? Take a wild guess…

“ …and they never tell you that you are about to exceed your credit limit. Bank statements are

impossible to follow when money transfers from one account to another. My sense is that there are

mechanical rules and no human intelligence” (Managing Director, male) “Cohesive thinking so if I

have some money in one account and go overdrawn in another then I am not heavily penalised until I

transfer the money across, and that ALL my accounts can be accessed from the one screen.” (Web

Designer, female), “The bank did not honour our arranged overdraft and charged us bank charges. I

rang the central number and spoke to someone who said nothing could be done” (Film Editor, male),

“Being able to get through to a living person on the phone quickly to do something basic like order a

new cheque book and not having one of those awful multiple phone things where you phone up and

you have to listen to a multi choice thing and go through a massive menu and security things with the

key pads, (say when you just want to order a new cheque book) which can take up to 5 minutes, and

then when you do finally get through to a living person, you then need to give all the security stuff

again. (Musician, male), “I would like them to not try to encourage me to use my credit card when they

can clearly see from my solo account that I can't afford to pay it off as the interest rates are so high. It

doesn't make sense. It makes me not believe that they care about the well being of their customers. It

makes me feel like they're more interested in their own business.” (Student, male), “Being treated as

an individual rather than an account number! "The computer says no" appears to be rife. The way that

banks simply distribute changes to their policies (or, in my latest example, change my business

accounts) as an arbitrary letter is infuriating. It makes me want to do the same back. "Dear bank, I've

changed condition 4(b) in our agreement to read ... This is because ..." (Business owner, female), “

I would like to feel that my bank had my best interests at heart and really cared about my long term

interests.” (Beautician, female)”

Incentivise expertise2

What does that mean?

If we’re going to get behind the controls we ought to know how to drive

actively teachus about financial

management

About financial responsibility

About „Unsecured Debt/Personal

Income Ratios‟

About borrowing and saving and

planning for the future

The Advanced Financial Driving Test?

Leading to better rates, preferential treatment,

specific products when we have qualified?

About managing investment

About financial security

Incentivise success

more than penalise failure

more

less

Embrace customer

service. Finally. 3

What?

aren‟t we?

Genuinely? It‟s about philosophy.

It‟s about what‟s in your corporate DNA.

Training courses, customer advisers, call centres,

telephone/net banking and all the rest ultimately remain

details when the philosophy and culture of the organisation

continues to be visibly orientated at any goal other than the

sustained financial well being of the customer.

It‟s about being

committed to that marriage

Feeding and nurturing it once more,

so that one day you can get to here...

My bank feels like a genuine partner

to me...making a decent profit

because I’m keeping my business

there. It feels like an equal in this

relationship, and it and I are making

adult, rational decisions which we

communicate to each other to our

mutual benefit. I trust it more than I

trust others, because it has

demonstrably helped me to take

control of my finances, to make

informed decisions, and because it

provides accessible tools for me to

manage my money.

© Different River Ltd www.differentriver.co.uk

November 2009 + 44 (0) 1635 240062