A Hitchhiker's Guide To International Dating: A How-To Primer

Michael Busby http://www.scribd.com/doc/38183255/Internet-Dating-A-How-To-Primer

©2010

michael_busby at yahoo dot com

Author: Solving The 1897 Airship

Mystery Available at www.amazon.com

You can find the latest version of this document at:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/38183255/Internet-Dating-A-How-To-Primer

Cover photo: Radmilla Jumbozova by Michael Busby

i


©2010

Table of Contents

A Beginning ........................................................................................................................ 1 Recognizing Scammers....................................................................................................... 5 Weeding Out The Scammers ............................................................................................ 17 Example Technique For Identifying Scammers ............................................................... 22 Online Dating Etiquette: Expert Advice ........................................................................... 29 Finding and Keeping Your International Woman ............................................................ 38 Meet and Greet.................................................................................................................. 40 Romance Tour................................................................................................................... 42 Fiancée Visa...................................................................................................................... 44 Where To Stay .................................................................................................................. 45

Kiev............................................................................................................................... 45 Almaty........................................................................................................................... 46

Scamming the Scammers.................................................................................................. 47 Appendix A Sample Messages From Scammers .............................................................. 48

i


©2010

A Beginning

The focus of the book is international dating via the Internet. The reason for the

International focus is multi-fold, but primarily it has to do with the international scammer.

‘She1’ can cause significant financial harm to an unsuspecting man looking for the love

of his life if he succumbs to her siren call2. Many of these scammers work in scam

factories employing hundreds and even thousands of people. The larger scam factories

are owned by international crime syndicates. It is a crying shame the United States and

other western European nations do not actively seek out and destroy these organized

crime rings who bilk unsuspecting men from many differing nations out of several

hundred million dollars every year. I hope the information presented herein will help

many men save their money in their pursuit of love and happiness.

A scammer in a man’s own country has little opportunity to defraud him, assuming he

has two good brain cells to rub together and uses them, since he can easily verify ‘her’

true identity by a weekend visit to her city, or perhaps, via a police report, or even a

telephone call to a relative who lives nearby who can confirm her true identity.

However, it is very difficult to verify the story of scammers who purport to live in another

country. These scammers use social engineering methods and techniques to dupe

unsuspecting men into giving up large sums of money for supposed good reasons.

They accomplish this by ingratiating themselves with a man in as short amount of time

as possible (after all, time is money!) then they ‘tug at the heartstrings’ via some

invented reason in order to entice a man to depart from good judgment and send them

money.

Who can afford to take the time off from work, fly to Almaty, Kazakhstan, in order to

verify one Radmilla Jumbozova is a real person (she is), living in the residence she

claims (she does), is employed in the profession she claims (she is), and is the gender 1 ‘She’ may be any gender and any age and actually live anywhere. 2 Think sirens of Greek mythology and crashing your ship upon the rocks of their islands, if you listen to the ‘songs’ they sing, metaphorically speaking, that is.

1


©2010

and age she professes to be (she is). Isn’t it just easier, simpler, and cheaper to send

her $1,500 and tell her to come to you? The scammers are counting on it!!!

Radmilla Jumbozova

What you learn in these pages will save you money, and in the end, wasted time and

heartache.

I must interject a very personal note here. Is it worth all the time, effort, worry, risk, and

money to search for a woman in a foreign country? It is very worthwhile, if you ever

meet a beautiful woman like Radmilla. Although it did not work out for us to have a

long-term relationship, it was not because we both did not try. Perhaps, we tried too

hard, but we had some very good times together and parted with many wonderful

memories of Kazakhstan and the United States and our time together.

What are my credentials for writing on this topic? Well, I was married to a foreign

woman who was the love of my life for twenty-three years until I caught her sleeping

with my father in order to gain his fortune (she did). After we divorced, I began a search

for someone to replace her in my heart. At first I looked in the United States for a mate.

But, I soon learned I could attract a much younger woman if I looked across the water.

2


©2010

Since I was not ready to marry a woman who looked and acted like a grandmother, I

eagerly sought opportunities to find and meet a woman who was as young3 as I felt in

my heart.

I have spent the last seven years communicating via the Internet with hundreds of

women trying to find that one compatible person. I do not believe in “soul mates,” just

compatibility. I have traveled to several different countries to actually meet women I

corresponded with on the Internet. The results of those meetings were interesting and

fun, but they did not lead to matrimony. So, I am still looking.

Consider this: throughout the millennia, humans have been limited by their mobility

when it comes to choosing partners. In prehistoric times, mobility consisted as far as a

man could safely walk. It became much easier – and safer - to just mate with a close

neighbor. Then humans tamed the horse and mobility, for some who could afford a

horse, was extended to the edge of the realm, if it was not a large realm.

By the Middle Ages, only the ruling class could afford a horse. Common people living in

the manor village were pretty much constrained to marrying the next door neighbor, who

was usually a cousin. But, even the nobility married into their own family, not so much

due to lack of mobility, but because they wanted to keep the family fortune in the family.

Regarding the manor village, imagine the excitement among the village women when a

strange man possessing good genes (read that as a healthy man) came to town.

Imagine the possibilities, all of a sudden, available to the village women who yearned

for some strange genes for their limited gene pool. Several centuries later, this is why

traveling salesmen were able to develop such a reputation as rogues and reivers. And

it is the reason one DNA repository containing over 5,000,000 DNA samples of male

DNA in the United States claims almost one third of the males born today were not told

the truth concerning who their biological father is. Statistically, that means almost all

3 It is not uncommon to be able to find a mate 20 – 25 years younger than yourself. Many 50+ year old men marry young women 25-30 years old.

3


©2010

women cheat on their mates, but only about 33% get caught in a pregnancy. Imagine

women lying about who they sleep with!!! Who would ever have thought such a thing.

)))

Anyway, several centuries later and mobility is increased by the steam engine in the

manifestation of boats and trains. A growing population was becoming more mobile so

young men and women were finding they had a larger pool of possible partners to

choose from. Marrying first cousins was becoming a social faux pas. In my extensive

genealogy research, I see a significant decrease in the practice of marrying first cousins

by about 1850, coinciding with the spread of steam engines.

By the time the automobile was ubiquitous, marrying a first cousin was perceived as a

social blunder of the first order! Mobility…now we could drive to the next town, the next

county, and even the next state to search for and find the woman of our dreams. (That

traveling salesman evolutionary psychology thingy at work and play in America.)

Mobility opened the far reaches of the horizon for procreation.

Well, what did the Internet do but increase our mobility to allow us to cruise the entire

world looking for that one (or two, or three, or whatever number you are working on)

special woman? Now, I am not limited by borders, by mobility, or any other constraint

suffered by my ancestors in the pursuit of my angel. Now, I am only limited by my

connection speed, and the amount of time I have to look at thousands of female

profiles, and my ability to sort the scammers from the real women.

Happy Hunting!!!

4


©2010

Recognizing Scammers

Okay, so you are thinking about finding a (foreign) bride. But, wait! Maybe you have

heard the stories about jilted men who spent thousands of dollars on a foreign woman

just to discover she was not at the airport – either here, or there - when he arrived to

meet her. Well, you do not have to be a victim of those women who scam men for

thousands and thousands of dollars while looking for and finding the woman you seek.

Although American men tend to perceive American women as scheming and conniving

(and rightly so) and we innocently think the rest of the world’s women are honest (and

many are), we find to our chagrin, usually after wasting $3,000 - $10,000 on a foreign

woman, that American women do not have a monopoly on scamming men. If you read

and heed the advice you will find in these pages, you should escape the adverse

financial impact of scheming women from all over the world.

First and foremost advice is to never, ever send money to a woman regardless of where she lives and regardless of the sob story she gives you. Never! I have

been searching for the love of my life on the Internet since 2004. I have met hundreds

of women in this pursuit of happiness. Of those hundreds, about 50% were scammers.

As it turns out, scammers are not even necessarily women, but many are clever men

posing as women.

Exactly what is a scammer? A scammer is a woman, or man, who will tell you all the

things you want to hear and when ‘she’ thinks ‘she’ has you hooked, ‘she’ will spring

some personal need upon you. She is counting on the emotional connection she has

established with you to compel you to send the money. She will tug at your heart with

sweet words of affection, or desperate pleas for help, depending upon the particular

details of the scam ‘she’ is running on you. The end result is, you innocently, and

naively, send her some (usually, but not always, large) amount of money. But, there is

no payback for your investment. Maybe she claimed she would use the money to

5


©2010

purchase air fare to come to you, but she never shows up at the airport. Maybe she

claims she needs the money to pay for her (nonexistent) daughter’s operation. You just

threw good money away.

Good scammers will wait many weeks and even months before springing their trap,

whereas amateur scammers are not as patient and are seeking money from you within

a few days to a few weeks of almost daily correspondence. These amateurs can go

from 0-90 mph in 1 (emotional) second. That is, they meet you on Sunday, are deep in

love by Wednesday and are pushing you for money to buy an airline ticket to come

meet you by Saturday. Believe me, you never want to send money for air fare, nor do

you want to purchase air fare for her through a third party. The scammers either ask for

money directly to pay for the visa and the air fare, or they want you to send the money

to some web site that appears to be a legitimate travel agency, but always located in a

foreign country.

I have had numerous women try very hard to get me to buy her a plane ticket through a

seemingly legitimate travel and tourist agency in various countries. When I have

expressed my reluctance, I am told, by the so-called travel agency, that only I can get a

refund of the ticket if it is not used. That is, she cannot cash-in the ticket. Nor can the

intended recipient change the destination. Yea, right. Fall for this little scam and you

will still never see the “girl” or the money.

A common denominator these (scamming) women have is, they are always young and

very beautiful. The photos they post on their profiles (almost) always look like

professional model photos. Most of them look too good to be true. And that is exactly

what they are – too good to be true. Many of them will initiate the communication with

you and want to move the communication from the dating web site to personal e-mail

very quickly, probably during the first exchange of messages .

The scammers are good, amateurs and professional alike. They have fake passports

and other fake documents to convince you of their authenticity and sincerity. I have

6


©2010

seen fake visas stamped in fake passports in order to convince me they really did go to

the U.S. embassy in their country so I would feel comfortable sending the air fare.

Remember, expert Photoshop users are not confined to our shores.

The fact is, unless a foreign woman4 has a good profession, children, and property, it is

extremely unlikely she can get a tourist visa to come to the United States without the

sponsorship of an American (called a fiancée visa – it is paperwork intense, time

consuming, costly, and you must be involved). The Department of State will typically

issue tourist visas only to those individuals it thinks have sufficient reason to return to

the country of origin before their visa expires. If a woman leaves behind a good job,

family, and property, then the Department of State somehow believes she will really

leave the U.S. before her visa expires and return home5.

Several foreign women I have dated in the U.S. received a tourist visa and came here

on their own nickel. They left behind one, or more, children in the care of a relative,

perhaps an apartment they owned, and were on a leave of absence from a good job.

While here, they married some fellow they previously met on the Internet then hired an

immigration attorney to get their status changed. Their marriage was just a marriage of

convenience and they divorced the man as soon as legally possible while not

jeopardizing their permanent residence status. So, beware even the foreign woman you

meet in the United States. She may have a hidden agenda while she whispers those

sweet words of affection in your attentive ear. )))

According to the U.S. immigration laws, any foreign woman must remain married at

least two6 years in order to achieve permanent residence status, most immigrants’ goal.

So, after two years they falsely claim abuse and get a divorce. Now they are free to

4 “Most foreign women” does not include women from mostly Western European nations. Women from Eastern Europe and third world nations do have a difficult time getting an American visa. For example, a single woman from the Philippines without education, employment, children, and property is never going to be able to get a visa to come to the United States. 5 But, I know one Russian woman who fooled the authorities by finding and marrying an American while she was in the USA on a tourist visa. The maneuver cost her three years separation from her daughter. 6 The two year requirement is only for a woman who claims – but does not have to prove - she is abused in the relationship. Otherwise, they must wait four years before divorcing in order to keep their permanent status.

7


©2010

remain in the country and find a more suitable spouse. Many men find themselves

duped in this manner. This is another type of scam – marriage only to get the green

card then divorce and find a richer, more suitable man.

Below is the Internet image of the first foreign scammer I was fortunate enough to

collide with. I say fortunate enough to collide with because I wised up very quickly. She

was my first teacher. She claimed to be Elena from Edina, Minnesota, a recent Russian

immigrant. After exchanging numerous e-mails and upon closer questioning, she

claimed to really be a dentist in the Russian city of Nadym and she claimed her profile

mistakenly said she was from Minnesota. Since I was new to the game, I did not

become suspicious, at first.

We traded messages for about six months, eventually moving the conversation from the

dating web site to personal e-mail. For some reason, I finally searched the Internet

using her e-mail address, name, and location. Imagine my consternation to find her

images at other dating web sites, listed under different names, different places of

residence and different occupations. When I confronted her with this information, I

never heard from her again.

Elena The Scammer

8


©2010

After more Internet searching, I discovered “Elena” was a worker employed in the

famous Novgorod, Russia scam factory. It is estimated 5,000 scammers work at the

Novgorod factory. There are other scamming factories in Russia, Ukraine, and other

countries that employ thousands of individuals to place fake profiles on dating sites.

There is a lot of (good-looking) bait out there waiting to snag the next fish that swims by.

The scammers objective is to hook a man into ponying up money for some imagined

issue that tugs at the man’s heart after an emotional connection is established. Issues

that suddenly appear in the scamming woman’s life include such items as: mother,

grandmother, etc. is sick in the hospital and they cannot receive proper treatment until

they have $1,500; a college student is going to be bounced from the university unless

she can come up with $500 tuition; or she needs $50 for a book, or a lab fee; a woman

who has promised her heart to a man needs $3,000 in order to acquire a visa and

purchase a plane ticket to come visit him; sick children need $200 for medicine; a

brother was injured in a horrible auto accident and he cannot get medical treatment until

the family can pay the hospital $2,000; a father died and they cannot bury him until they

have $1,000; a sister has breast cancer so the family needs $2,500 for treatment; a

woman needs $50 to buy her mother an anniversary present; a woman needs $100 for

message translation; a woman needs $25 to pay for Internet access at the Internet café;

etc., etc. etc. ad nauseam.

The list is only limited by the imagination of the thousands of individuals – both men and

women - who are earning a good living scamming mostly (stupid) American men. Don’t

be the next idiot to lose a small bundle on false promises because you want to be a

‘gallant knight in shinning armor’ and help the poor (scamming) princess in distress. If

you bow to the emotional tugs at the heart and send money, you will discover you are a

stupid gallant knight in formerly shinning armor without wherewithal to purchase oil to

shine that now rusty armor. And perhaps, you do not look so good in rusty armor, eh?

Don’t believe me? The first year I engaged in Internet dating, a husband and wife team

located in San Diego, California were indicted and found guilty of bilking thousands of

9


©2010

men out of their hard earned money by these kinds of scamming tricks. As I recall, the

IRS estimated their income from their scamming operation was $5,000,0007 per year.

That seems like a lot of stupid men to me! So, that beautiful woman you are whispering

sweet words of passion to over the Internet may not be in the city, or even the country

they claim, and “she” may not even be a woman! Buyer beware!

Today you can search on a woman’s supposed name and even her e-mail address and

find out if this identity – remember the identify is probably fake if she is a scammer –

has been reported as a scammer.8 Several web sites now maintain this information.

Hopefully, in your sojourn looking for a mate, you will report any scammers you come

across.

Scammer trademarks:

• Factory scammers usually do not write messages on the weekend. Many have a

Monday-Friday (or Monday – Saturday) work schedule and they religiously stick

to it. They always seem to be out-of-town every weekend visiting grandma, or

mom and dad.

• Many scammers “fall in love” quickly – less than 6 weeks - and are soon asking

for money for some purported reason.

• Most scammer profiles are of young and beautiful women whose images are

most often professionally photographed. There are few who post webcam

photos, or ‘Polaroid snapshots’, but some do.

• Experienced scammers will delete, or otherwise render unavailable, their profiles

as soon as they have a fish nibbling on the bait. This is one reason why it is a

good idea to copy a woman’s profile and her photos to a folder on your computer,

if you are interested in her. Some dating websites delete a woman’s messages

when she deletes her profile. Therefore, I also save the first few messages in

Word documents so I can go back and see what she said in those first messages

after some time has passed. Helps to verify her information. 7 In his guilty plea, Robert McCoy admitted to scamming 250 men out of $737, 521. That is $2,950 per man. 8 I provide a service to individuals to confirm the identity of their love interest. If interested in this service, contact me at [email protected]

10


©2010

• The best scammers will wait up to several months before asking for money.

• The very best never ask for money. They will eventually claim some great

need/emergency and then let you offer to send money, depending upon your

emotional commitment to the relationship to volunteer to send money out of a

sense of wanting to help.

• There is a common scam where the “woman9” asks you to send a few dollars –

usually less than $100 - to a website that delivers flowers, or chocolates, etc. in

her neighborhood. Of course, the website is a fake and she never gets the

flowers, she gets the money!!!

• Then there is the classic scam – she needs money for translators since she does

not read, or write, English (or whatever language you are communicating in.)

There are plenty of free on-line translators so there should never be a need to

pay for translation.

• Another classic scam involves baiting you with several very enticing messages,

usually from a very beautiful woman – and just when you think things are getting

heated up, you receive a message from a person (usually identified as the web

site owner, administrator, or moderator) telling you the woman cannot

correspond with you anymore unless you pay for her web access at another site.

I call this the “bait and switch” tactic because you meet them on a legitimate site

(the bait) and after a few messages they want you to transfer to another (non-

legitimate) site and pay a fee there (the switch) for the woman to be able to write

to you. If she is a real individual interested in you, then she can go to a free e-

mail site such as yahoo mail and continue the correspondence. When you state

this seemingly obvious method to continue communicating, you will be told (by

the moderator) that she cannot speak, or write, your language and that is why

she must use this particular for-fee site. It is just another scam from the scam

factories.

• Many real women on the Internet lie about their true age. They do this in two

ways. One is outright deception by listing their age incorrectly. Another method

9 I use the words ‘woman’ and ‘she’ loosely for any scammer can be either a man, or a woman.

11


©2010

of deception is to post photos that are ten years younger and sometimes 75

pounds lighter10!

• A man who has been in this game for awhile may begin to notice he has received

messages from a woman that are almost identical to messages he received from

another woman several weeks, or months, before. Some scamming factories

have mass produced messages that are then slightly tailored to include his

personal information, for each man. These factory letters are legion on the web

sites that try to track scammers. You can search on key sentences and see if

your sweet, tender message of love has been sent to hundreds/thousands of

other men.

• A more sophisticated scam involves a real woman who will meet and marry you.

However, as soon as she legally can, she will divorce you. All she wants is a

green card and permanent residence status.

Regarding the duplicate letter phenomena, an inexperienced friend began a

correspondence with a woman from Lugansk, Ukraine. After about a month, he asked

me if I would look for a woman from there since he wanted to go to Lugansk and meet

this woman but he did not want to travel alone to Ukraine. So I started looking for a

woman to meet in Lugansk. After a day, or so, I meet a beautiful, young woman who

was eager to get to know me. Would you believe I received almost the exact same

messages as my friend, in the same order he received them? A little research confirmed

my suspicion Lugansk was the location of a scamming factory11. Needless to say, we

both stopped our correspondence with those two “women.”

10 Before I started dating European women exclusively, I met a psychologist from Ruston, Louisiana whose photos on the dating web site were about 15 years younger and 150 pounds lighter! What was she thinking? Of course, I walked away from that meeting, after driving two hours to get to Ruston. She was instrumental in me giving up on American women. 11 Lughansk and Sumy, Ukraine and Novgorod, Russia are three cites I am aware of with scamming factories. Beware any contact with women from these cities.

12


©2010

Never send any money to anyone you have not met personally and know for certain

they are a real person. Even then you still risk giving money to a scammer. I will give

you an example from my own experience.

Natalia Matvienko And Author At Baskin Robbins In Kiev Just After The Orange

Revolution

Natalia Matvienko (her real name) of Kherson, Ukraine was the best scammer I ever

had the misfortune to collide with and the only one I ever spent any money on. Natalia

and I met on a website called Lucky Lovers. Natalia is an obstetrician/gynecologist. We

exchanged messages for about four months, with each passing month the messages

becoming warmer and warmer. She passed all my tests to verify she was a real

woman. Natalia told me she was an obstetrician / gynecologist and had a practice at a

hospital in Kherson. I confirmed she really was who she said she was.

13


©2010

I finally went to Ukraine to meet her. We met for two weeks in Kiev. The time we spent

together was wonderful. From the first day we shared the same hotel room and bed. I

bought her a few small gifts, such as perfume, and a silk kaftan, while we were in Kiev,

but nothing more than about $50.00 each. I was sleeping with her every night so I knew

she was a real woman and not some guy from San Diego!

After I returned to the United States we continued our correspondence. After another

couple of months passed, I returned to Kiev in order to help her get a fiancée visa. I

had in my possession two tickets to the United States, one in my name and the other in

her name. We spent another ten days enjoying Kiev while appearing at the US

embassy for her fiancée visa interview, before going to Kherson on an overnight bus trip

from hell (potholes in Ukraine are legion and they are deep). She was going to pack her

bags then we were going to return to Kiev and fly to America, a happy, loving couple, I

thought. I thought wrong.

Natalia took me by her hospital office on the morning we arrived in Kherson. My neck

was causing me great pain from the jolting it received as the bus careened down the

pot-hole filled highway from Kiev to Kherson. She fetched up some pain killers and I

met some of the doctors she worked with. So far, it seemed she had not lied to me

about anything so I was totally unsuspecting that she might be engaging in any

wrongdoing.

That afternoon she wanted to go shopping for some clothes before leaving that evening

for the bus ride back to Kiev where I though we were going to catch a flight to the United

States in a day, or so. Since I was unable to sleep at all on the bus due to the poor

condition of the roads, I begged to be left in her apartment so I could catch a nap. So, I

gave her a couple hundred to go shopping and lay down on the couch as soon as she

and her mother left the apartment. A couple of hours later the ringing telephone woke

me up. Thinking it was my love, I answered the telephone. Imagine my surprise to hear

a man’s voice with a German accent ask for Natalia.

14


©2010

I told him Natalia was not home. When I asked who he was, he said he was Hans from

Germany. Hans and I seemed to connect for we started talking about Natalia. Although

I did not know about him, he knew about me. According to Hans, he and Natalia meet

about 15 months previously in Hungary while on a holiday. Hans told me he and

Natalia planned to marry and the only reason she was dating me was to get the fiancée

visa so she could visit her sister, Ludmilla, in New York City. Hans let it slip that he had

not seen Natalia in about six months, about the time I first met her. Also, Hans informed

me she was going to the United States with him, and not me. Hans was very sincere

and I believed him. It was not clear to me how Natalia was going to disengage from me,

but I knew her to be a very clever woman so I knew she must have had an exit strategy

planned.

Well, I am a fast thinker. I figured Hans was telling me the truth therefore I wanted to

muck up Natalia’s well crafted plans. So, I told Hans I doubted his story since Natalia

was three months pregnant with my child and we planned to marry in Kherson before

we left for the United States in a couple of days. We said goodbye to each other and

hung up the telephones. Well, the fiancée visa is no good if the visa package is

opened. While Natalia was still out shopping, I found the package and opened it.

About an hour later, I heard an awful commotion at the apartment door. It seems a post

card from Hans came in the mail that day and momma had just retrieved it from their

mail slot. From what I could tell with my little Russian, Natalia had told momma the

relationship with Hans was over and she was in love with me. Since I met her that

morning, momma had conveyed to me a sense of great happiness her Natalia was

going to marry an American and go to the United States. I do not think she was privy to

Natalia’s nefarious plans. However, the post card had text on it that made it clear to

momma her daughter was playing me for the fool. When I told both of them of Hans’

phone call, momma went ballistic. She procured a stick and demanded I beat hell out of

her daughter. God, it was an awful scene. I refused to beat her daughter.

15


©2010

The awful scene continued when I left the apartment with momma following me all the

way to the street, crying and begging me to return to the apartment. Natalia was

following momma pleading with her to return to the apartment and asking me to return.

Several hundred pairs of curious eyes and ears took all of this in. I ignored both

momma and Natalia. I caught a cab and headed for the bus station and the return to

Kiev. When I returned to Kiev, I informed the embassy of Natalia’s duplicity, thereby

ensuring she would never get any kind of visa to the USA in the future.

Within minutes after disembarking from my return flight at Dulles International Airport, I

received a text message from Natalia asking me to forgive her. If I would give her a few

days “all will be well” and she would come to the U.S. and marry me. I texted her back

and told her where she could go. I have not heard from her since, but I did receive a

few messages from her mother many months later apologizing for Natalia’s behavior

and telling me Hans and Natalia never did get married. Good. Such a woman deserves

to have her best laid plans turn to crap.

So, as you can read, scamming takes all forms that man, or woman, can devise.

Remember the proverbs: a fool and his money are soon parted and; only fools fall in

love. (I am guilty on both accounts.) Keep these proverbs in mind, remain skeptical until

you prove beyond doubt she is who she says she is, and you should escape the

financial carnage caused by most scammers. But, we cannot really see inside the

hearts of women, can we? So, it can still be a crap shoot even when you know she is a

real woman. But, at least then you have better odds for some return on your

investment, even if it is only a very pleasant week with your darling before you discover

Hans is lurking in the background. )))

16


©2010

Weeding Out The Scammers

To return to the subject of scamming women, there are several useful techniques for

weeding out the scammers and determining if the ‘woman’ you are corresponding with

really is a woman and she is who she says she is. However, a man must still be

cautious even after applying these techniques. The professional scammer is…well, a

real professional. These techniques are:

• Internet search

When she gives you her first and last name, use Google and search her name.

Also, search her e-mail address once she gives it to you. If you get too many

search ‘hits’, then start eliminating some by adding keywords (one at a time),

such as city, then country. I also like to search on exact phrases from messages

I receive. You can certainly discover if a message is being used over and over

by many ‘women’ with only slight modification, an indication the message is

coming from a scam factory. Look for legitimate web sites where she may have a

profile, such as Linked In and Face Book. Having a profile on either of these web

sites does not guarantee she is legitimate, but you are building a dossier and

when it is complete, you can better judge what and who she really is. Of course,

if she is legitimate and you tell her you are playing detective, she may feel

insulted and you will never hear from her again. So, keep your little CIA spying to

yourself. Never let her know you are validating the information she is giving you.

• Send her a greeting card

I love this technique. At some point, if she has not revealed her hand as a

scammer by then, I ask for her postal address. If she asks why I want the

address, I brush her off with something like, “I want to surprise you.” Then I send

her an inexpensive greeting card from Wal Mart with something a little sappy,

such as “Wished I was with you.’ I wait several weeks and see if she volunteers

she received the card. After sufficient time goes by12 and she has not said

12 Many Eastern European countries require three weeks to deliver mail.

17


©2010

anything, I might inquire. In some countries, the postal workers are notorious for

stealing the mail, especially if they think there may be money inside. So, if I

otherwise think she is probably legitimate I will send something else, maybe a

short, handwritten letter. If after several tries she still does not say anything

about receiving anything from me, then my ‘scammer suspicion thermometer’

goes up very high.

If she is a real, legitimate person, she will thank you for the card when she gets it

and you will know she is not lying concerning her address. She really is in

Almaty, Kazakhstan, and not in San Diego, or Moscow. So you have verified a

very important piece of information while scoring (a lot of) points with your

potential future paramour.

• Call her on the telephone

At some point, when you think appropriate, if she does not volunteer to give you

her cell number, ask her for it. Call her at least once and verify a female answers

the phone and she sounds somewhat close to the age she claims to be.

Scamming factories hire anyone who can do the job. Your dream woman may be

some 65 year old retired farm worker who has learned to click a mouse and

copy/paste form letters.

• Skype’s video thingy

This is great. All you need is a free Skype account, a webcam, speakers, and

microphone. My newest HP 24 inch monitor has the camera, speakers, and

microphone built-in. You can use the free Skype account to video-meet with

anyone in the world. If your young, beautiful darling looks like a 65 year old man

who really lives in Jersey City, don’t you think it will be evident when you see ‘her’

on Skype? )))

• Verify her employment

18


©2010

You can attempt to verify her employment. Suppose she claims to be a

university professor. Determine if the university has a web site. If it does, try to

find your potential future paramour listed in the faculty section. I have verified a

woman’s employment via a diverse set of tools, some requiring a little deception

on my part. At least you should be able to determine the company name she

claims to work for and call it during working hours and ask for your love interest.

If they have never heard of her….you received the answer you were looking for.

• A personal face to face meeting

Scammers of another sort like to get men hooked so they will pay for a vacation

in Turkey, or Egypt, or some other exotic destination. They claim they want to

meet you in a neutral territory, so why not the coast of Turkey, or Cairo? Of

course, there is the expectation you will provide for her airfare and pay all other

expenses. Insist the first meeting be held in the city where the woman purportedly

lives. In addition to being able to continue the verification process, you are

eliminating those women who are only seeking men to pay for their vacation to

exotic places, another type of scam.

• Search, Search, Search

Using the information she gives you, search, search, search. Keep searching

until you are certain, beyond any doubt she is the woman she claims to be. Use

the Internet and google to search all the information she gives you. This is

exactly what the embassy will do when she applies for the fiancée visa. If the

embassy finds out any adverse information about her, she will be denied the visa

and even at this point, you will be out many hundreds of dollars. (Last fiancée

visa I paid for cost about $750.)

Of course, the relationship must naturally progress from the first introduction to

something more before you start engaging in these techniques because you must

build at least a modicum of trust, if she is a legitimate person, before she will part

with personal information. Most legitimate women will not want to give you her cell

19


©2010

number or address on the second exchange of messages. So go slow, and take it

easy, but as each of you become more comfortable with each other, it becomes

natural to ask for the cell phone number, the address, etc. Remember, a large

percentage of scammers have already fallen deeply in love with you and are ready

to come to your country and be your wife, IF you will send the money for the plane

fare, only a few weeks to a couple of months after the initial contact.

Have I ever sent money to foreign women I have never met? Yes I have. Twice.

The first time was several years ago. She lived in Vladivostok, Russia. We had

exchanged messages for a year; then we did the skype video meet every morning for 6

months; I verified her cell number; her address; and her profession as an opera singer

and a professor at a university in Vladivostok. So, when her birthday came around, I

sent her some money as a birthday surprise. Imagine my surprise when she sent the

money right back to me!!! But, it turns out she was lying about her age by ten years. I

will not continue a relationship with any woman who lies about anything, including her

age. Women say it is their prerogative to fudge their age. I say baloney to that. It is

what it is, lying in order to attract a man. If they will lie about their age, they will lie

about anything else they do not want you to know about.

The second time I sent money to a woman I have never met was only recently. I sent

some money to a woman in Ukraine who has exchanged messages with me for two

years without ever asking for money. She made it clear early on that all she wanted

was to be friends so we have developed a very good friendship. She has shared her

most intimate thoughts and actions with me. I am like her priest-confessor. Early on I

verified she was a real woman who lived where she stated she did. Over the past six

months, as we talked on skype I could tell something was wrong with her. Her voice

changed and it became difficult for her to speak and she began coughing. I kept after

her to go to the doctor and find out what was wrong. But, she kept blowing it off.

Finally, I realized she did not earn enough money to go to the doctor and she had no

insurance.

20


©2010

Without telling her beforehand, I sent her some money then told her to use it to go to the

doctor and get a diagnosis and medicine. (I was hoping it was not lung cancer!). It

turns out she has tuberculosis. She cried for a long time when she was telling me how

relieved she was to discover what was wrong with her was curable. Because she could

not be around other people while being treated, she could not work so she lost her

apartment and had to move back in with her mother and father. The TB medicine left

her very weak and unable to do much of anything. But I can tell now when we speak,

she is getting better. She tells me she will be able to return to work in a couple of

months.

I want to mention another scam. Recently, an American soldier met a Filipino woman in

Manila. They spent several weeks together, before he had to leave for Afghanistan.

After he left Manila, he started sending his Filipino love $450 a month. This is a huge

sum of money for a Filipino woman, and it is not pocket change for an enlisted man in

the Army. For the many months he was gone, his paramour spent her days at the

gambling tables in Manila gambling all his hard-earned money away. When he finally

returned to Manila he discovered she not only threw away his money, but she already

had another sugar daddy on the hook. I am aware of this situation because the

scamming woman’s best friend is married to a good friend of mine.

So, should you never, ever send money to a foreign woman? No, not ever. But, you

darn sure better know what you are doing, if you do not want to just throw the money

away.

21


©2010

Example Technique For Identifying Scammers Regarding this chapter, please review the information in Appendix A. I am going to use

the message in Appendix A to explain how I search and discover items of interest

regarding the sender’s status. I met this ‘woman’ on Lucky Lovers in September 2010.

She gave her name variously as Nadya, Nadyusha, etc. – variations on a name - but

said I could call her by whatever name I desired. I chose to call her Nadya.

After we moved the correspondence to e-mail, of course I was able to extract her e-mail

address. Searching on the e-mail address, I came up with some interesting results.

Her e-mail address is [email protected]. I encourage you to use this

example to perform these searches as I have done and verify the results.

When I search on the right hand portion of the address – ‘best-ameli.com’ - I came up

with “Best-ameli.com Whois lookup - Whois” as the first search result. When I clicked

on the link, I was taken to the ‘whois’ web site. The following information was available

for me to ascertain who was the real person behind this scam. I have underlined the

pertinent information. Note the registrant, administrative contact, technical contact, and

billing contact is one Roman Vertihvostov ([email protected]) whose address

is given as Kotelnikova street, Luhansk, Luhansk Oblast,91037.

Ahhh, there is that Luhansk scam factory hard at work trying to scam me again. ))) You

know, this is about the 100th time they have tried to scam me. I have not changed my e-

mail address all this time. You would think they would be smart enough to maintain an

e-mail database of men they have tried to scam without success and drop those men as

soon as they collided with them again.

Note the location of the server is Sundsvall, Sweden. Sweden is usually chosen

because the laws of Sweden are conducive to this kind of scamming. That is, it is not

illegal in Sweden to use Internet services in this manner. The only law enforcement

22

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.cqcounter.com/whois/domain/best-ameli.com.html

http://www.cqcounter.com/whois/index.php?query=gmail.com


©2010

capable of squashing these kinds of scams are Ukrainian and they do not seem to be

inclined to ruin a good source of foreign exchange. Jeez….

BEST-AMELI.COM - Domain Information Domain BEST-AMELI.COM [ Site Info Traceroute RBL/DNSBL lookup ]

Registrar DIRECTI INTERNET SOLUTIONS PVT. LTD. D/B/A PUBLICDOMAINREGISTRY.COM

Registrar URL http://www.PublicDomainRegistry.com

Whois server whois.PublicDomainRegistry.com

Created 10-Sep-2008

Updated 29-Jan-2010

Expires 10-Sep-2010

Time Left 0 days 0 hours 0 minutes

Status clientTransferProhibited

DNS servers NS1.BEST-AMELI.COM 95.211.27.212 NS2.BEST-AMELI.COM 95.211.27.212

BEST-AMELI.COM - Geo Information IP Address 95.143.192.128

Host best-ameli.com

Location SE, Sweden

City Sundsvall, 24 -

Organization ServerConnect Sweden AB

ISP ServerConnect Sweden AB

AS Number AS49770 ServerConnect Sweden AB

Latitude 62°38'33" North

Longitude 17°30'00" East

Distance 2225.64 km (1382.95 miles)

Map Location

23

http://www.cqcounter.com/siteinfo/?query=best-ameli.com

http://www.cqcounter.com/traceroute/?query=best-ameli.com

http://www.cqcounter.com/rbl_check/?query=best-ameli.com

http://www.cqcounter.com/whois/?query=95.211.27.212

http://www.cqcounter.com/whois/?query=95.211.27.212

http://www.cqcounter.com/traceroute/?query=95.143.192.128


©2010

BEST-AMELI.COM - Whois Information Registration Service Provided By: RESELLERCLUB Contact: +1.4152361970 +1.4152361970 Domain Name: BEST-AMELI.COM Registrant: Roman Vertihvost Roman Vertihvostov ([email protected]) Kotelnikova street Luhansk Luhansk Oblast,91037 UA Tel. +380.945682347 +380.945682347 Creation Date: 10-Sep-2008 Expiration Date: 10-Sep-2010 Domain servers in listed order: ns2.best-ameli.com ns1.best-ameli.com Administrative Contact: Roman Vertihvost Roman Vertihvostov ([email protected]) Kotelnikova street Luhansk Luhansk Oblast,91037 UA Tel. +380.945682347 +380.945682347 Technical Contact: Roman Vertihvost Roman Vertihvostov ([email protected]) Kotelnikova street Luhansk Luhansk Oblast,91037 UA Tel. +380.945682347 +380.945682347 Billing Contact: Roman Vertihvost Roman Vertihvostov ([email protected])

24


http://www.cqcounter.com/whois/index.php?query=best-ameli.com

http://www.cqcounter.com/whois/index.php?query=best-ameli.com





©2010

Kotelnikova street Luhansk Luhansk Oblast,91037 UA Tel. +380.945682347 +380.945682347 Status:LOCKED Note: This Domain Name is currently Locked. In this status the domain name cannot be transferred, hijacked, or modified. The Owner of this domain name can easily change this status from their control panel. This feature is provided as a security measure against fraudulent domain name hijacking.

Okay, now we have a lot of information, but there is still more to come. Let us search

on the full e-mail address [email protected]. Using Google, we get 15

results, each result concerning scammers. Let us look at the first result I get - Nadya -

[email protected]. This web page is titled “Romance Love Scams” and

includes a report from a man who received messages from Nadya. The message he

has posted on the site is the exact same first message I received from Nadya (except

his name is John and my name is Michael) and the photos she sent him are the same

photos she sent me.

When I click on the second search result - Dating scammer Natalya from Osinniki,

Russia - Page 762 - I am taken to a web site called DelphiFAQ.com. There are several

women listed on this page and I must scroll down to find my Nadya. This is where I find

photos of her and a link to this web site: http://www.angela-jennings.com/

Angela Jennings the model is the exact same woman!!! I swear! Nadya sent me the

exact same photos you find on Angela Jennings web site13. Well, what do you think the

story is? You think Angela Jennings is a scammer pretending to be Nadya from

Ukraine? Not likely. But, how can I account for the photos of Nadya and her supposed 13 I cannot use the photos in the book since I do not own the negatives and therefore would violate copyright laws, but if you doubt me, send me an e-mail ([email protected]) and I will forward the photos to you for your verification.

25

mailto:[email protected]

http://romancelovescams.mysubdn.com/forum/index.php?topic=1281.0

http://romancelovescams.mysubdn.com/forum/index.php?topic=1281.0

http://www.delphifaq.com/faq/russian_marriage_scams/f1326.shtml?p=761

http://www.delphifaq.com/faq/russian_marriage_scams/f1326.shtml?p=761

http://www.angela-jennings.com/


©2010

child Julia? A more likely scenario is, Angela Jennings has a Facebook, or a MySpace

page with these photos. The scammers stole the photos and are using them to scam

men. So, search on Facebook and MySpace and see if we can find Angela, aka Nadya.

I go to my MySpace and search for “Angela Jennings” in the Search box. I come up

with 123 results. We know from the http://www.angela-jennings.com/ she is from

Charlotte, North Carolina so we can quickly scan the list looking only for an Angela from

North Carolina. Is it any surprise to find her on the second page of the search results

with a location of “Somewhere, North Carolina?” I do not see any photos of both her and

her child, but a couple of the photos on the page are the same photos sent to me.

Perhaps, she has family photos hidden behind the page displayed and you must be her

“friend” in order to see them.

Now we go to a Facebook page and search for “Angela Jennings” in the Find Friends

box. After a short wait, I get 253 search results, displayed ten at a time and with no

other identifying information. So, it is going to be a visual ID. And I wanted to watch a

movie tonight. Oh, well. On the third page, I get a hit. There is the beautiful Angela

Jennings I recognize in the skimpy outfit. When I click on her photo, I get this web site:

http://www.facebook.com/search/?flt=1&q=angela+jennings&o=2048&s=30#!/profile.php

?id=100000881951582&ref=search

Doesn’t she look gorgeous? What man would not like to hear enticing words from such

a beauty, especially an overweight man approaching 60? I must confess, I play around

with these scammers because sometimes it is pleasant to fantasize and pretend they

are real and they really mean the words they write. It especially is helpful to fantasize

about them when thoughts of the ex-wife start intruding upon the consciousness.

Anyway, since I am not her “friend” I cannot get behind the initial page and see her

photos. I also love to waste their time by stringing them along for awhile.

I am willing to bet she has many photos of her and her daughter. I do know there are

methods black hat folks use to crash through barriers and get to photo albums on

26


http://www.facebook.com/search/?flt=1&q=angela+jennings&o=2048&s=30#!/profile.php?id=100000881951582&ref=search

http://www.facebook.com/search/?flt=1&q=angela+jennings&o=2048&s=30#!/profile.php?id=100000881951582&ref=search


©2010

Facebook. Remember the recent fuss regarding the poor security Facebook had? This

is one reason why Facebook needs to beef-up their security.

If you continue to read the sequence of messages in Appendix A, you will see I ask

Nadya to send me her full name and postal address and I will send her some money. I

ask for these things because I want to try to identify who she really is, assuming she

gives me her real name, so I can report her as a scammer and get her name and

address out there on the Internet so other people, such as law enforcement, and other

men trying to avoid a scam, can find her. She responds with a name and an address

but asks if I have Western Union.

If you are not familiar with Western Union, it is a method of sending money for a fee. It

is called a Western Union moneygram. If I use Western Union, I must send the money

to an individual so she must still give me a first and last name. To get the money on her

end, she must present proper identification and a secret number. This secret number is

given to the purchaser of the Western Union moneygram and sent by some method

such as e-mail, to the intended recipient. So, she must give me a name to get the

money. However, the name she provides me could be a false name and the

document(s) she uses to pick up the money may be fake.

I know from my experience getting other women a fiancée visa the embassies do

search the Internet for derogatory information before they will issue a fiancée visa. If

they discover a woman’s name has been reported as a scammer, they will inform you

and let you make the decision whether or not to continue the visa proceedings. Even if

they continue the visa proceedings, it is no guarantee they will not disqualify her from

getting the visa. They look for reasons not to give the visa, instead of looking for

reasons to give it. If the name given in the e-mail is correct – it could be an alias – then

that person will never see the U.S. Hopefully, Western European nations, Canada, and

Australia also perform the same kind of due diligence. If so, then Nadegda Chernyshova will never get beyond the borders of Eastern Europe.

27


©2010

There is a great tool to help with eliminating scammers available now on the Internet. It

is called TinEye and can be found at http://www.tineye.com/. TinEye will take a photo

you upload and scan the entire Internet looking for other instances of that photo. So,

you can load a photo of your darling and see everywhere that same photo occurs over

the Internet. It is a very powerful tool for finding all the websites where your darling is

reposing. :)))

All you do is upload your photo then click on the Search button.

I searched the photo of Radmilla Jumbozova on page 2. It took approximately 1.5

seconds for TinEye to find this photo in this document. Seems pretty fast to me.

I suppose I should conclude this chapter with some words of wisdom, or an emphatic

statement, but I feel emotionally drained for some reason. I think I am going to take a

Vikadon and peruse the fluff in my navel for awhile. )))

28

http://www.tineye.com/


©2010

Online Dating Etiquette: Expert Advice

Bev Bacon is the author of Meet Me...Don’t Delete Me! Internet Dating: I’ve Made All

The Mistakes So You Don’t Have To! Like all other dating advice I see on yahoo and

other web sites, the advice is always from the perspective of a woman. And a woman’s

perspective, while valuable in order to gain insight into the mind of the opposite sex, is

worthless when it comes to gauging the environment from a man’s perspective. Bev

answered the following questions for all her female readers. I will answer them from my

male perspective.

Q: What should a good first email consist of? A: Bev says, “Initial email exchanges should be brief and very upbeat. Compliments

are always nice.”

I agree with her first sentence –brief and upbeat. However, her second sentence is

usually a non starter for European women. They usually do not respond well to

compliments at first because they assume, and usually rightly so, the compliments are

shallow attempts to ingratiate yourself. Just upbeat is usually sufficient because you

are only trying to get them interested enough to visit your profile. Your profile should

make a very powerful statement about who you are. Using photos and words, let the

world know who you are. If your profile is great, then they will be intrigued and respond

with interest.

Here are two hints for successful first exchanges. Save her profile until Thursday

evening, then send her a short note saying hello, a very short introduction, tell her you

find her profile interesting and ask her to check out your profile. Then, ask a question.

Always ask at least one question, but never more than three, otherwise it sounds like an

interrogation. Women love to talk about themselves, and their children, if they have

29


©2010

children, so ask her what her plans are for the weekend. You can follow-up with

another short message on Monday afternoon asking her if her weekend was great.

If she responds to your queries, then slowly move on to other topics. If she has

children, ask her about them in the third message. Ask about their ages, gender, and

names. In follow-on messages you can ask about them by name.

Unless you are only interested in ‘sex chat’ with women, never mention sex, until she

does. She must always mention the topic first before it is appropriate for the man to

mention the topic. For scammers, the topic comes up pretty quick, usually in a few days

to a week, or so. For non-scammers, you may exchange messages for a year and the

topic never comes up. If you are interested in a woman for a long-term relationship,

never bring up this topic first. If she brings it up within the first two weeks, odds are she

is a scammer.

If she does bring up the topic, only respond in kind. If she just says something simple

such as, she thinks sex is important in a healthy relationship, then just agree with her.

Do not elaborate, such as going into detail how you like to use baby oil and give her a

full body massage on the dinning table as a prelude to slammin’ jam on her butt, and

licking off every drop. ))) That kind of intimacy comes later, but again, only after she

wants to start discussing details.

Remember, the first few messages are brief, upbeat, and include at least one question,

but not a boat-load of questions - no one likes to be interrogated. After looking over her

profile and photos, besides the weekend question, I might ask her one more question

regarding her profile, or photos, such as, “Beautiful lake in the background. Where was

the photo taken?” Questions are important. Women love to talk about themselves, but

you need to prompt her to start.

Also, either in the first message, or at least by the second, close your message with

something appropriate and include your first name only. In all the messages I have

30


©2010

exchanged with women over the years, only one said she did not like my first name and

she claimed that was because it was the same name as a former husband who

mistreated her. I have no problem saying goodbye to such a woman. Too many fish in

the ocean to waste time trying to land a non-keeper. However, including your name in

the first message tells her you are a real person who is interested in getting to know her

and not some anonymous robot out in the hinter-land.

Q: If someone contacts you and you’re not interested, do you owe the sender a response? A: Bev says, “No, not necessarily.”

That is true. You should be the master of your time. However, consider this. You just

received a message from a woman who looks like someone you do not like, such as a

former wife. There is no way you are going there. Keep in mind many of these women

are sitting in Internet cafes, surrounded by other women searching for their potential

mate. If you send a polite, but short, canned14 note declining her invitation, giving a

legitimate reason, then if you try to hook-up with another woman in the same Internet

café, you may have a pep squad in your corner. Or, she may have a sister, cousin, or

friend who uses the same computer who you may find attractive. Always be the

gentleman.

Q: What are some key ways to improve my profile? A: Bev says, “…very pleasing, natural photo…a nice, positive headline. Be honest in

your description.”

Sure, that is all good advice. Regarding the photo, if you are looking for a long-term

relationship with a similarly minded woman, then leave the beefcake in your file folder.

Use photos taken with a good quality camera, and post only current photos. Okay, a

14 A ‘canned’ note is a note you have saved on your computer and you just copy and paste it.

31


©2010

baby photo can work wonders, also. The women love my baby photo, taken when I was

about two years old. Post photos of several different settings and never post photos of

you with other women, unless it is clear from the photo the woman is your mother, or

grandmother. Family photos are good, also.

Almost all Eastern European women complain about their men drinking too much

alcohol and being unreliable. Do not post photos of you and your buddies doing stupid

things while drinking. Maybe, just maybe, the only females such photos attract are

immature fourteen year old females and they are illegal in most countries. (I assume

you are 18 years of age, or older, and are interested in long-term relationships with legal

females.)

Q: Why do some people seem to lie about their ages and appearances in their profiles? A: Bev states, “I think the main reason is to attract the most prospects possible.”

I have spoken elsewhere in this document about women and their propensity for lying

about their age. It is a genetic thing I think, for they do not seem to be able to

understand lying is lying, regardless of the topic. Also, they seem to think it is a female

prerogative and men must accept it, or else take a hike. I always take a hike for if a

woman will lie about something as relatively unimportant as her age, then she will lie

about important things, such as the debt load she is carrying, how many times she has

been divorced or, if Hans is lurking behind the scenes. )))

Q: If I email someone and don’t get a response, can I send another email, or would that be a turnoff? A: Bev says, “I would definitely email someone a second time, because maybe the

person accidentally deleted his or her email, a computer may have crashed (which

happened to me once), or the recipient could be on vacation.”

32


©2010

I agree with a second message, but not too soon. Wait at least one week, but no more

than two weeks before sending a polite inquiry asking if she received the first message

and re-stating your interest in her profile.

Q: What do you think about men who all of a sudden disappear with no explanation? A: Bev states. “Rejection is very difficult for anyone, and sometimes walking away

seems simpler to a person because he doesn’t want to say something that would hurt a

woman’s feelings.”

Women do the same thing. After five or six messages there is suddenly silence.

Perhaps, if you check out her profile, you discover it has been deleted. For certain

know this, just as you are probably writing two – ten females at the same time, so are

they writing multiple males. For whatever reason, she may decide a particular male is

her choice and she stops exchanging messages with other males with no explanation.

We do it, they do it, so get over it!

I can give you a specific example why some females suddenly stop corresponding.

When a woman starts pressing me to come to her country to meet her, I always tell her I

will not go to the expense of traveling to her country to meet her unless I am certain we

are engaged in an exclusive relationship. I will not spend the money to go meet a

woman who is still writing other men. You would think a psychology professor in a

certain city in Russia would understand this, eh Olga? LOL!

Q: Is it true that your photo is all anyone really pays attention to? A: Bev replies, “I wouldn’t say that’s always true; however, it’s the first impression that

we have.”

33


©2010

Of course, men pay attention to the photos. And so do women. Don’t kid yourself.

However, a man’s interest in long-term relationships is regular sex. A woman’s interest

in long-term relationships is safety and security. It is a genetic thing, an evolutionary

psychology thing. It may be fair to say, men look at the photos first, and the profile

second. It is fair to say, women look at the financial status first, then the photos second.

I guess women who have profiles with no photos get very few men who are interested.

I do not pay any attention to any female profile if there is not at least one photo that

shows at least 75% of her body and all of her face. Women who post these cutesy

photos with the face almost hidden behind some prop are not appealing to me. How

about you?

Q: How long should I wait to email someone after a date? A: Bev says, “If it’s only to say, “Thanks, I had a wonderful evening,” you could do that

the very next day.”

Of course, she is speaking about men and women who live in the same city, or near

each other. In our situation, if you traveled to another country, met a woman, and the

two of you hit it off, then you should e-mail her as soon as you return to the U.S., or

even in the airport along the way.

Bev makes a case that women should not appear to be too needy. Ditto for men.

Seemingly needy people are a turn-off for most normal people, male and female. So,

don’t e-mail, call, or otherwise appear to eager to contact her again, even if the two

weeks in Cairo were dynamite. Play it cool.

Q: I’ve been seeing this great girl for a month and I just discovered that her profile is still up. Should I break things off, or can I ask her to take it down?

34


©2010

A: Bev says, “For most people, one month is really too soon for it to be an exclusive

relationship.”

I spoke about exclusivity in a previous answer. I do not think we are talking about a

month here. By the time a man and a foreign woman are ready to meet each other

several months, even perhaps many months, have passed.

We are not speaking about the girl next door here. We are talking about a woman in

Almaty, Kazakhstan, or Odessa, Ukraine, or Saint Petersburg, Russia, or some city in

Belarus, Georgia, Bulgaria, or even China. It takes a commitment of time and money to

travel to these places. If a woman is not willing to show a similar commitment by

removing her profile, then I think she is playing you for a fool.

Q: What are the types of questions I should ask to see if there’s a good connection? A: Bev says, “When you email, it’s difficult to get a sense if there’s a connection. A lot

of times, words can be misinterpreted. So I would strongly suggest talking on the phone

— that’s where I feel you get more of a connection.”

Well, I do not have trouble getting a sense of connection via e-mail and it is only if I do

get this sense of connection that I will suggest at some point we talk on the telephone.

Actually, I do not like the telephone because of the cost but prefer to use skype which is

free and includes video, in addition to audio.

Q: Should the guy always provide his phone number first or offer to call her and ask her for her number? A: Bev replies, “It’s always polite to ask through an email, “Would it be OK to give you

my phone number because I would really be interested in talking to you.””

35


©2010

Foreign women, when they are comfortable with your e-mails, will most often volunteer

their phone number. It will just show up in a message one day with a request to give

her a jingle. Keep in mind European women do not have the typical Judeo-Christian

hang-ups American women have. It is one of the reasons we love foreign women,

right? But never forget they are female and all that entails, such as concern for safety,

security in a relationship. Such concerns are genetic, not cultural.

Q: How can you get a man to stay interested via email while you are trying to get to know him without losing his interest if he wants to move faster? A: Bev states, “A lot of people — not just men — have the attention span of two-year-

olds.”

Well, that does not agree with my experience. However, an Internet relationship should

move forward. The issue for the man is to let the woman move the relationship forward

at a pace which she is comfortable with. If you think the relationship is not moving

forward, then you can push it a little, but not too hard, or fast. If she responds

affirmatively, then keep this in mind if the relationship founders again, at a later date.

But, remember many scammers want the relationship to move from 0 to 90 as quickly

as possible.

Regarding non-scamming females, there are two basic female types – those who are

aggressive and those who are passive. You must gauge what kind of personality you

are dealing with (and the kind you prefer). A very aggressive woman, in my experience

is either a scammer, or she needs an American male to marry quickly for some specific

reason that has nothing to do with her desire to be his mate. Most normal European

women seem to be slightly more aggressive than American women, but I have met a

broad range of foreign female personality types. Just go at her pace and push a little

only when It seems appropriate to move the relationship forward.

36


©2010

Q: If we had a really fun time on the first date but there’s no chemistry, should there be a second date? A: Bev says, “I feel that a lot of opportunities are missed because someone didn’t feel

that immediate chemistry on the first date.”

Since our first date is perhaps a week to three week long affair with our love interest, we

can usually tell at the end of the period if there are grounds to continue the relationship.

I am always concerned when she meets me at the airport, she will take one look and

walk away. This is why I will not travel to meet a woman unless we have corresponded

for a minimum of three months and we have to progress from exchanging messages on

the dating website to personal e-mail, to a telephone call, or two, then skype and its

video meetings. Only after we see each other on skype and our reaction to each other

is positive will I begin to think about a personal, face to face meeting.

If there is no chemistry, that first trip to her country to meet her will result in a

boondoogle…for you. Try to gauge the chemistry before you travel to her country to

meet her. Don’t go to meet her if you feel there is no chemistry.

37


©2010

Finding and Keeping Your International Woman First thing is to select an international dating web site. I admit I have limited experience

in this topic. The reason I have such limited experience is valid, I think. Early on I tried

several different web sites and some seemed to be operated by scamming companies.

It was awhile before I came across a web site I felt I could trust enough to pay my hard

earned money too. It is Lucky Lovers at www.luckylovers.net.

I have been a member of this web site now for six years without any serious complaints.

I really have no complaint except I wish the managers of the web site would include

information regarding scammers and try to prohibit known scammers from placing

profiles on the web site.

The web site claims to have about 150,000 women registered with the site. However,

only about eight thousand were active in the past thirty days. So, figure about 50% of

those active are running some kind of scam and you are left with about 4,000 women of

all ages to choose from. Seems like slim pickin’s but if you follow my formula for

making contact with women, you will have enough to keep you busy in a few short days.

Then the issue becomes keeping those women interested in you. There are “tricks of

the trade” to accomplish that feat, also.

Okay, so you have done some mining. A lot of women come to your profile and see

what is offered but there are few who reciprocate with a message to you. Do not

despair, I am here! When I mine for contacts, I get around a 10% response rate.

Remember, half of these will be scammers. I really want to get my response rate up

much higher so I can have a better selection to choose from. How do we accomplish

that? By using a little psychology. We use humor to get them to respond. Below is my

typical message I send to any woman who has looked at my profile and did not respond

with a message. I usually wait 3-4 days after they visit before I send it. Remember, you

do not want to come across as desperate. Always wait a decent interval between

38


©2010

messages. Now, here is my response to get them to send me a message after they

have looked at my profile:

Hi! Thanks for visiting my profile. Did you not like what you saw and read? Shucky

Darn!!! I think I am going to throw myself in the lake! :)))

Whoa! Wait a moment. The water is very cold - maybe instead of throwing myself in

the lake, I think I will wish you a pleasant day and hope you decide you could use a

friend with a good sense of humor. :)))

Cordially,

Michael

When you are corresponding with foreign women, always paste your message into

Word and do a quick spell check. Better yet, compose your message in Word then

copy/paste to the web site. This is imperative for many reasons, not the least because

they do not necessarily read and write English was well as you; or perhaps, they read

and write English better than you. Maybe, they use an electronic translator that has no

idea what you are talking about if words are misspelled. In any case, you do not want to

be misunderstood.

Although I understand I am on shaky ground with many foreign women, when it comes

to them understanding what I wrote in my language, they have little sympathy for a man

who cannot express himself adequately even when the misunderstanding is the result of

their attempted translation. It is for this reason, it is best not to get too elaborate with

the words, at first. Keep it simple, humorous, and light-hearted until you have some

understanding of her ability to read and write your language.

39


©2010

Meet and Greet

Regarding meeting that woman of your dreams, I must first speak about another issue

in order to “get it off my chest.” Are you a “sex tourist’? Do you know what the term

means? It is the derogatory term foreign women have for men who travel to meet them

when the man is only interested in sex. If you want to meet Eastern European women

for sex only, just go for a holiday to the several Turkish resorts around the

Mediterranean Sea. Antalya is a very popular destination for unaccompanied young

women from Eastern Europe and they will *&^&% your brains dry.

These women are so horny when they get to Antalya, hotel managers cannot keep male

staff. The male staff were so busy servicing the women they could not tend to their

hotel duties. Due to “no fraternization” rules most hotels maintain, male employees

found sleeping with the guests were fired. The turnover rate was so much, hotel

managers decided to hire female staff only (what about the lesbians?) So, if you just

want sex, take a holiday in Turkey. Unless you are Attila The Hun, you will get lucky,

several times over.

You don’t have to travel to someplace really strange and take a chance you might hook

up with a woman you have been corresponding with via e-mail. Better yet, invite her to

meet you in Antalya. But, that is like taking a hamburger to a steak dinner. Let us move

on to the actual topic at hand – men looking for a long-term relationship.

Meeting that gorgeous woman from Vladivostok, Russia for the first time? Know what to

do and say?

Ask her to meet you at the airport. If there are any issues, it is best to confront them

from the moment your boots are on the ground. Is she really 28 years old? Is she really

the woman whose photos you pined over the past three months? I began corresponding

with a Russian woman living in Washington D.C. a couple of years ago. I was living in

southern Maryland at the time so we were only about 50 miles apart. After a few

40


©2010

weeks, she had sent me fifteen or twenty very attractive photos. I do not recall now the

exact circumstances, but I found out the photos were not really her, but the photos of

her friend. When I queried her about this duplicity, she told me she had her friend’s

permission to use the photos! She did not understand when I became outraged over

this duplicity. I told her we were not going out on a date unless she produced her own

photos, which she promptly did. Lord! Was there ever a difference between two women!

Anyway, have the woman meet you at the airport because you may have reason to

change your plans and the earlier you know, the better. When meeting at the airport,

offer to give her a hug while looking her in the eyes. Determine her willingness to be

kissed and make the appropriate move.

After you meet at the airport, let your skill courting women take over. That is, do not

push things too hard. She may accompany you to the hotel, and stay with you. Or, she

may want to get a separate room. On the other hand, she may either want to depart

from you at the airport, or in the hotel lobby. Be prepared for anything.

41


©2010

Romance Tour

If you become tired of dealing with scammers on web dating sites, you might try the

‘Romance Tour’. A little known method for meeting foreign women, Romance Tours are

another scam, of a sort. Romance Tour operators want you to reserve and purchase all

your travel arrangements through them. Of course, they charge a mark-up for the

‘convenience’ in addition to the fees – hotel, travel, etc. - charged for the actual ‘tour.’ In

the Romance Tour, you usually spend two, or three, weeks traveling around inside a

country staying in various hotels in the more populated cities – all arranged by the tour

operator and part of the tour package price – and meeting women in structured social

events. A typical event is an evening social and dance after dinner in the hotel.

The women who come to these arranged events are a mish-mash of individuals every

bit as varied as you find on a dating site. About 50% are scammers, only looking for a

good time, free food, and possibly some gifts. Some women have no intention of

pursuing a long-term relationship, but will pal up with you while you are in-country and

willing to spend money on her. The women you meet at the events choose the men

they want to spend their time with while the tour is in town. The scammers’ objective is

to get you to spend as much money on them as possible. The scammers, if you prove

to be an exceptionally good bank that is good for numerous withdrawals for her benefit,

will try to convince you to abandon the tour and spend the rest of your time in her city

with her.

One fellow I know abandoned his romance tour after only four days and stayed with a

woman for three months. But then they married and returned to the U.S. as husband

and wife. Of course, sex is usually part of the exchange of good and valuable services

and gifts with women you meet on the romance tour. At the end of your tour, or upon

expiration of your visa, you may leave satiated, but much poorer than when you arrived.

Just stay in your hometown and get the same service for a lot less money. You may as

well support your local working woman while helping the balance of trade imbalance, if

you are only interested in the opportunities for sex. )))

42


©2010

If you are considering a romance tour, I suggest the following strategy to maximize your

time and opportunities while on the tour, regardless of your objective – having fun or

finding a potential spouse. Four to six months beforehand, try to meet as many women

from the country of interest as you can correspond with. Select one, or more, tour

operators and find out what cities they tour. Find women in, or near these cities.

Exchange messages with as many as you can possibly manage. Weed out the

professional scammers. With the remaining women, develop a strong friendship. Near

your target date, choose one woman from each city and explain to these women you

are going to participate in a romance tour and you would like to meet them when the

tour arrives in the city near her. Of course, each woman should not know you are

communicating with the other women.

Keep communicating with all the other women. If you get to a city and the woman you

choose is a no-show, you can go to the hotel business center and e-mail another

woman in that city and explain you arrived unexpectedly due to business15, or some

such cover story, and see if she will come meet you.

15 I travel internationally in the course of my work. I will tell a woman in Ukraine, Russia, etc. that I was in Vienna, Austria, or Zurich, Switzerland, and decided to make a short trip to see her, the time made available due to a cancellation of a business meeting.

43


©2010

Fiancée Visa

The embassy will use the information the fiancée provides and search the Internet for

adverse information when she applies for the fiancée visa. If the embassy finds out any

adverse information about her, she will be denied the visa.

For the women I have petitioned for the fiancée visa, I have meet her in her country and

accompanied her to the embassy visa interview. I have seen many women get

rejected, if they are unaccompanied. But with me standing beside my fiancée, no

embassy employee has ever rejected her for a visa.

For the petition, include copies of all receipts showing your visit to her country. These

should include your round-trip airline ticket, your passport page with her country’s visa

stamped on it, receipts for anything you purchased in her country, and at least ten – 20

photos (color printed on copy paper from your computer) of you and her together in her

country. Hint: include photos of the two of you with something well-known in the

background, such as a building, or landscape. All of this is to prove to the government

you really did travel to her country and meet her. Also, in the application package

include a declaration of your affection and a statement of your intent to marry your

woman. My visa application packages typically run about 150 – 200 pages with all the

supporting material I include. I have never had a visa application rejected nor a visa

denied.

44


©2010

Where To Stay

Kiev I stayed in a $25/day apartment two blocks from the main train station. It was very convenient for getting around Kiev. The underground was just two blocks away, the main train station was two blocks away, and the bus line was just one block away. I found this apartment via a company named Kievlet. If you wish to stay in a safe apartment for a few dollars a day, instead of paying $150/day or more for a hotel, contact Kievlet via the following contact info: Dear Sir ! You used to be the client of a daily apartment rent company "Kievlet" run by a British owner Garry Pollard during your trips to Kiev. I was a customer service manager at this company. My name is Sergei. I hope you remember me pretty well. I was lucky to help you with accommodation in the centre of Kiev. I followed you with the keys, bill and luggage to your apartment. I believe that everything is alright with you and you feel fine. If you plan to visit Kiev please let me know. I will be happy to assist you as a translator, guide or find a nice apartment for your stay in the centre of Kiev. I attached my color photo for you to recognize and remember me . Best regards, Sergei e-mail : [email protected] cell phone : + 38 050 872 12 20 + 38 050 872 12 20 skype name : svetaandsergei

Sergei

45

http://it.mc297.mail.yahoo.com/mc/[email protected]


©2010

Almaty I stayed in a nice one-bedroom apartment in Almaty for $35/day. I need to resurrect the information to reserve an apartment there.

46


©2010

Scamming the Scammers After some time and experience, you may decide you want to waste the time of a few scammers. It is called “vlad baiting.” You will maybe develop a “get even” kind of philosophy since they waste some of your time. I think all of us who have weathered more than a couple of days dealing with scammers think how we may get back at them. Instead of writing a long, detailed chapter on how to do just that, I am going to give you a link to someone who has suggested a particular method for giving the scammers their due course of grief. At some point in your search, you will find the method demonstrated gives you a certain sense of satisfaction. And the web site is: http://www.romancescambaiter.com/vladbaiting.htm

47

http://www.romancescambaiter.com/vladbaiting.htm


©2010

Appendix A Sample Messages From Scammers

The following message was sent to me recently (4 October 2010). Note she –

Nadyusha - does not ask for money, she just throws out her need for money. She is

depending upon her comments about sex and the bikini photos she included with this

message to hook me. Her objective is to set up the stage where I will respond as she

desires, by offering to send her money. I think this is psychological manipulation of the

meanest kind. She is especially effective as she uses photos of her and a female child

(Julia) in order to build the case for the psychological response she desires. We have

been corresponding with each other for only two weeks and already she is trying to get

me to send her money. This person is very good

This is a particularly interesting case because I found this woman on a web site claiming

to be a model in North Carolina. Her web site is located here: http://www.angela-

jennings.com/ I know it is the same exact woman because she sends me photos from

this web site, but she also sends me photos from home of her and her child and some

photos of just her child. Less experienced scammers might abscond with the model’s

photos and try to use them as their own. But, she sends me a mix of photos from the

web site and from her home and it is obvious it is the same woman. I can only surmise

the scammer copies the home photos from the model’s facebook web site, or some

other social web site. Not sure how I am going to play this out, but I love wasting

scammers time. I figure as long as they are wasting their time with me, it is less time

they have to scam an unsuspecting man. Of course, I will not send her money. And

now, Nadyusha’s message to me:

Privetiki!!! I'm very glad to hear from you, my dear Michael!!! The

day with your letter is like the sun in the grey sky! How do you do?

Do you miss my letters just always?;))

You are a man from my dreams and I don't want to lose contact with

you' cause I like you very much and showed your picture to Julia and

48




©2010

she said "Mum, is it my father?" and the tears rolled from my eyes. I

was so happy to hear that my daughter liked you too. I'd like you to

sit close to me now and to go on our communication directly, I'd like

to talk to you and you to hear my voice and to feel that timbre, I'd

like to look into your eyes and to see their beauty and I'd like you

to touch my hand and to feel my warmth. You should know that I want

you to feel my presence and the same time me to feel yours.

I dream about us, our kids, our time spending together having picnic,

barbecue, walking in the park, laughing, holding hands, kissing and

enjoying being together. I have all these dreams in my mind every day

and I want to share all of them with you...yeah, sometimes they are naughty and I imagine us love making but sometimes they are just

romantic. My dear, I want to share with you just everything, I want to

spoil you with my naughty dreams, my hot photos, my vivid plans for

our first meeting and future family life together.

I miss your letters very much and I'm on tenterhooks for your welcome

response!!!! But I upset you today though hate doing it and want to

let you know beforehand that I'm not able to pay for the translation of our letters 'cause I'm run out of finances. I realized today after

visiting the supermarket that the prices on all the goods like food

and clothes highly raised but I have Julia who needs all these things

and I can't deprive her of them. I'm so sorry! I'm in desperation and don't want to lose you when I've just found the man of my dreams!:((

I'm always thinking of you and my heart hurts now....I do need you!!!

Have a nice day and sweet dreams at night!

Yours always Nadyusha and Julia.

Her next message to me:

49


©2010

I have no money to translate your letters(((

My response:

Send me your full name and postal address and I will send you some money. How

much do you need?

Her next message to me:

My dear, my sweet Michael, i miss you much...sweetie, it's very sweet from your side to offer me the help and I feel so bad about accepting it but at the same time I understand that our communication won't be as often as it was if I don't accept it...any help from your side will be appreciated and I will use it for our sweet correspondence and sending you many of my photos...and it will be good to meet! my dear do you have Western Union? My dear every letter costs 5$ and every photo 3$16 but my dear any sum can help us to continue our correspondence my dear, here is the information you have asked me for: name: Nadegda Chernyshova, address: 71101,Ukraine, city Berd'yansk, Vatutina Street, 44. Kiss and miss you :(( your passionate Nadyusha..

My last message to her:

To Whomever You Really Are:

Thank you for your name and address. I have sent this information to several web sites

that report scammers, to the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation, to the

United States Department of State, the American Embassy in Kiev, Ukraine, Interpol,

and the Sundsvall, Sweden police, reporting you as a scammer and a thief. Yes, when

you seek to get money from people under false pretenses, that is known as fraud and

these organizations are interested in investigating such people. Also, the American 16 She is sending me one message a day, Monday – Friday and she is including five photos with each message = $100 per week!!!

50


©2010

Embassy will insure you never, ever, under any circumstances receive a visa to the

United States.

But you may exclaim, how is fraud practiced if I willing send money to you. That fact is,

you have stolen the photographs of one Angela Jennings of Charlotte, North Carolina

and represented yourself as her. See Angela's web site at http://www.angela-

jennings.com/

That is fraud and as such it is a first degree felony crime.

It is low for a person to lie to scam men of their hard-earned money, but stealing the

photos of a child and using them to scam men is about as low as a person can be,

scumbag17.

BTW, I am writing a book about scammers and you will figure prominently in the book.

You are welcome to read about yourself at the following site:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/38183255/A-Hitchhiker-s-Guide-To-International-Internet-

Dating-A-How-To-Primer

You can tell Roman18 I have reported him as being the organizer of this criminal

enterprise.

Roman Vertihvost

Roman Vertihvostov ([email protected])

Kotelnikova street

Luhansk

Luhansk Oblast,91037

UA

17 This is the mildest derogatory term I can think of. I wanted to call “her” much worse for engaging in this deception using the photo of a child. This is the first scammer that has ever used photos of children and is a new low for this class of people. 18 See Chapter 2 where I spell out how I identified Roman as the culprit responsible for this scam.

51



http://www.scribd.com/doc/38183255/A-Hitchhiker-s-Guide-To-International-Internet-Dating-A-How-To-Primer

http://www.scribd.com/doc/38183255/A-Hitchhiker-s-Guide-To-International-Internet-Dating-A-How-To-Primer



©2010

Semper Fi!

Cordially,

Michael Busby

Stay tuned – I am going to add material to this treatise each week. I welcome a

dialogue with anyone who wants to learn more.

Michael Busby

[email protected]

52

Date post:	08-Apr-2015
Category:	Documents
Upload:	busbysemperfi
View:	505 times
Download:	3 times

A Hitchhiker's Guide To International Dating: A How-To Primer

Documents