A Marriage Enrichment ProgramInspired by St. John Paul II’s

Theology of the Body

Created and Presented By: Jason & Elise Angelette

UNITED IN LOVEUNITED IN CHRIST

Faith and Marriagean Apostolate of the Willwoods Community

communityWILLWOODS

Assisting the Archdiocese of New Orleanswith Prayer and Service since 1978

United In Love is made possible by:

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The Willwoods Community Is:

Affordable HousingProviding over 1,000 safe and secure apartments to families and low income residents across the New Orleans metro area.

Faith and MarriageDedicated to providing married couples opportunities of growth, enrichment, and support.

WLAE-TVCelebrating over 30 years of local wholesome family and uniquely Catholic television programming.

TheDailyMass.comBringing the Mass from St. Louis Cathedral, praying the Rosary, and presenting other Catholic content on demand to viewers all over the world...right to a computer, tablet, or smart phone.

Learn more at Willwoods.orgRooted in Prayer, United in Service

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Copyright © 2016 by Willwoods CommunityAll Rights ReservedPublished Sept 8, 2016

This Study Guide may not be reproduced in any form whatsoever, printed or electronic, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by Willwoods Community3900 Howard Avenue New Orleans, LA 70125Customer Service: (504) 830-3716faithandmarriage.com

Editing and Proofreading: Helen Sigur and Christina StrafaciDesigned by: letsdevelop.tv

Acknowledgements: Greg & Julie Alexander, Brian & Lisa Butler, Jill & Scott Cabes, David Dawson Jr., Arthur & Shirley Dupre’, Eric & Lisa Johnsen and Chris O’Neill.

Printed in the United States of America

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Nihil Obstat Very Rev. José I. Lavastida, S.T.D. Executive Director of Christian Formation, Archdiocese of New Orleans Imprimatur: Most Rev. Gregory M. Aymond Archbishop of New Orleans June 30, 2016 Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Session One Building Your Marriage on the Rock

Session Two Prayer: A Marriage that Prays TogetherStays Together

Session ThreeThe Eucharist: The Source and Summit of Married Life

Session FourForgiveness: A Marriage Rich in Mercy

Session Five Through Mary to Jesus: Saying Yes to the Lord

Session SixGrowing in Love

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10

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52

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Introduction

INTRODUCTIONvii UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST

Will you love, honor, and cherish each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, no matter which way the toothpaste is squeezed, whether or not the dirty clothes end up around the house or in the hamper, with or without your in-laws visiting, during football season, through job changes, emotional changes, body changes... for the rest of your life?

Did we realize that all this and much more was included in our vows?  Couples stand before the altar, in love, with hope and so much excitement in their eyes, before God and all those present, to profess their “I do” to one another. So why is it that so many marriages, even after all the good intentions and faithful promises, end in divorce?

Studies often point to inadequate communication skills, lack of education, resources, families of origin, and poor effort as reasons for divorce. However, even the most well-educated, hard-working, “perfectly compatible” couples, each from wonderful upbringings, are not given a divorce-free guarantee.

Talents, skills, treasures, and techniques may be great to have, and these surely come in handy, but they are not on what a marriage should be built. Just as a wise builder does not

INTRODUCTION UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST viii

“We ALL want OUR marriages to do more than just survive; we want them to THRIVE!”

construct his house on top of his tool box but on a solid foundation, so too must spouses build their marriage on steadfast unshakeable ground.

 

It is in Chapter 7 of Matthew’s gospel, where the Lord teaches us just how to do that: “Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock” (Matthew 7:24-25).

For a marriage or family to weather the storm, to stand the test of time, to overcome all the sick times, bad times, and make it through the rough times… it must be built on God.

We all want our marriages to do more than just survive; we want them to thrive! Not only is God the divine architect laying out the blueprint for this strong and lasting marriage, He is also the one who nourishes and perfects the very love of the spouses and gives us the grace to love as He loves!

Jesus says to all of us, “Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on

INTRODUCTIONix UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST

“For a married couple to be UNITED IN LOVE, they must first be UNITED IN CHRIST.”

1 Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body 126.5 (emphasis original)

the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me.  I am the vine, you are the branches.  Whoever remains in me, and I in him, will bear much fruit.  Because, without me, you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

What can we do to become more firmly grafted on this vine so that our love bears lasting fruit? St. John Paul II proclaimed to spouses that “Prayer,” the “Eucharist,” and the sacrament of “Penance” are the means “infallible and indispensable to form the Christian spirituality of conjugal and familial life.” 1

For a married couple to be united in love, they must first be united in Christ. Spouses must turn to God in prayer, receive Him worthily in the Eucharist, and seek His forgiveness and mercy in Confession. We may not be able to order a divorce-free guarantee online but we can be grafted more closely to Him and receive all that we need for a healthy and flourishing love. God is so good, and He richly provides for us. It is our job, then, to take him up on all that He offers. 

INTRODUCTION UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST x

OVERVIEW

GOALS

United in Love - United in Christ is a six session marriage enrichment series that explores God’s awesome plan and promise for spouses. It provides practical steps in building on what St. John Paul II taught to be the “infallible” and “indispensable” way to a truly united and faithful love.

United in Love is intended for married couples, to be used in small or large group gatherings, at home or in a parish. The content of the program will use Sacred Scripture, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, magisterial documents, and quotations by holy men and women, as well as personal stories from couples who are striving to live out their marriage in Christ.

THIS PROGRAM HOPES TO:

~ Provide practical suggestions to assist couples in living out their vocation faithfully and joyfully.

~ Build up parish life. ~ Promote the sacramentality of Marriage.~ Strengthen couples in their love for God and each other.~ Offer greater insight into God’s plan for marriage. ~ Encourage development and growth in the prayer lives of

the spouses. ~ Foster a deeper appreciation and living out of the

sacraments.~ Highlight the importance of Mary for marriage and

family life and encourage Marian devotion.

Each session is broken down into eight parts:

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FORMAT

UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST

The Opening contains verses from Sacred Scripture to help set the tone and theme of the gathering.1 OPENING

The Truth for Your Marriage sections are excerpts taken from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) and provide the main content for each session. These paragraphs are meant to impart the wisdom of the Church, promote reflection, and give hope to the couple.

TRUTH FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

2

A Presentation follows to expound and give witness to the particular session theme and related topics. The presentation is found on the United In Love - United In Christ DVDs.

3PRESENTATION

4 The Group Discussion invites attending couples to respond to questions, to foster participation, and to contribute to the building of the theme.

GROUP DISCUSSION

INTRODUCTION

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5Just the Two of You is private time given to the spouses in order to answer questions. These questions are designed to help couples apply in their marriage what they are learning from the session.

JUST THE TWO OF YOU

6Plan for Your Marriage gives spouses a few practical suggestions from the session’s theme and teaches how to apply them in their marriage and family life.

PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

The Closing provides final thoughts and a prayer.7 CLOSING

Social Time with refreshments (wine & cheese, coffee & desserts, etc.) may be added at the beginning and/or at the end of each session as a way of encouraging fellowship within the group.

8SOCIAL TIME

Building Your Marriage on the Rock

Building Your Marriage on the Rock

SESSION ONEBUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK

OPENING

“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.”

- Matthew 7:24-27

LET US PRAY

O Lord our God, confident in Your love for us, we turn to You for the grace to know Your plan for marriage and for the strength to live it out according to Your will so that we may not labor in vain. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

“Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build.” - Psalm 127:1

SESSION ONE: BUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK2

TRUTH FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST

For more information on the Church’s teaching on marriage please read from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 1601 - 1666.

“The matrimonial covenant... is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring.”

- CCC 1601

SESSION ONEBUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK

SESSION ONE: BUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK

“They [Spouses] ‘are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.’ This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.”

- CCC 1644

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“Holy Orders and Matrimony are directed towards the salvation of others; if they contribute as well to personal salvation, it is through service to others that they do so. They confer a particular mission in the Church and serve to build up the People of God.” - CCC 1534

PRESENTATIONNotes:

GROUP DISCUSSION

1. What was your understanding of God’s plan for marriage during your engagement? How has that understanding changed over time?

SESSION ONE: BUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK4

4. What is a common thought about what will keep a marriage alive and strong?

2. How does our culture understand marriage? How is it different from the Church’s teaching?

3. In our culture today, on what specifically do you think couples build their marriage?

UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST

“God alone is my rock and salvation, my secure height; I shall never fall.” - Psalm 62:3

JUST THE TWO OF YOU

1. While the foundation of marriage can withstand every test of time, and building the “house” upon the “rock” requires good tools, being truly present is required to build up and care for marriage and family life.

a. List some of the most important things in your life? How much time is dedicated to them?

SESSION ONE: BUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST 5

b. What things do you spend most of your time doing?

c. In which area do you need to add more time? In which area, less time? Why?

“But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteous-ness, and all these things will be given you besides.” - Matthew 6:33

2. How have we been growing closer together in our spiritual walk? How have I been leading my spouse closer to God?

d. Can you identify any distractions that pull you away from being truly present when you are with your spouse and family?

SESSION ONE: BUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK6 UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST

3. The goal and mission of marriage is to get each other to heaven. Ask your spouse: “What is at least one practical, concrete thing that I can do to help you in your relationship with the Lord?”

After writing his/her response(s) below, write how you can begin to make that request a reality.

PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

Give your spouse some time before or after work at least once a week in order for them to make it to the church or Eucharistic Adoration chapel for personal, quiet prayer time.

Allow your spouse the time and means to attend a yearly men’s or women’s retreat.

Remind yourself and your spouse at least once a week of the specific and concrete ways that you can help each other grow in faith (see above Q#3).

“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” - Romans 8:28

SESSION ONE: BUILDING YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK UNITED IN LOVE, UNITED IN CHRIST 7

“There is no Holy One like the LORD; there in no Rock like our God.”

- 1 Samuel 2:2

CLOSING“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her.”

- Ephesians 5:25-26

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

- John 15:13

“Man...cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.”

- Gaudium et Spes 24

LET US PRAY

Hail Mary, full of grace...

Lord, grant us the grace to know and to live out the plan that You designed for marriage. Each day, help us to be a true and honest gift to our beloved. Mary, Mother of God, through your intercession may we, too, give our “yes” to the will of the Father in our life and for our marriage. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

communityWILLWOODS

Assisting the Archdiocese of New Orleanswith Prayer and Service since 1978

Jason and Elise Angelette have been married since 2002 and have five beautiful children! Since 2007 they have held the position as the Co-Directors of the Faith and Marriage Apostolate of the Willwoods Community, a Catholic non- profit in the Archdiocese of New Orleans.

Jason received a Masters in Theological Studies from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family at the Catholic University of America. His experience includes teaching theology at the high school and college levels as well as working on and speaking at various retreats and events nationwide. He is also the co-host for a weekly television program on WLAE entitled Issues and Faith.

Elise graduated from Franciscan University of Steubenville with a Bachelor of Science in Early Childhood Education. She then taught Drama and Kindergarten in Covington, LA, followed by a First Grade teacher position in Alexandria, VA. Elise has been involved in music ministry, as well as retreat leadership and speaking ministry for both teens and young adults.

Willwoods Community was established in 1978 by a group of married couples desiring to support the Catholic Church and the community through prayer and service. Since then, Willwoods Community has grown to serve in different areas, including Faith and Marriage, Affordable Housing, WLAE TV and TheDailyMass.com. The Faith and Marriage Apostolate is dedicated to promoting the Sacramentality of marriage and providing married couples with opportunities for growth, enrichment, and support.

About the Authors