A PARENT GUIDE FOR ADDRESSING BULLYING IN PUBLICLY...

A PARENT GUIDE FOR ADDRESSING BULLYING IN PUBLICLY FUNDED SCHOOLS IN ONTARIO

London Anti-Bullying Coalition

The London Anti-Bullying Coalition was founded in 2004 by concerned mothers in

London, who were brought together by the tragic commonality of their children

being bullied and victimized while at school. After the suicide of a local teenager,

these mothers created a not-for-profit organization called the London Anti-Bullying

Coalition. This organization went on to address the issues of bullying, violence, and

harassment of our children in local schools, with the promotion of fairness, respect,

and equality in every school for every child.

The London Anti-Bullying Coalition believes with awareness, education and

enforcement there can be progress towards the elimination of bullying.

The founder is Corina Morrison and she can be contacted at:

E-mail: [email protected]

Telephone: 519-473-5214

Website: www.londonabc.ca

© Copyright MMXIII London and York Region Anti-Bullying Coalitions Page 2

York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition

As a result of personal experience and the total feeling of being abandoned by their

community, the York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition was founded in October of 2009.

The York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition stands for prevention, education, and action

to assist those in our schools that are experiencing bullying and other forms of

violence.

The York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition promotes an awareness of serious issues

concerning young people today and a drive to do something about it. They have

dedicated countless hours to the betterment of school and community environments

by raising awareness and standing up when others are unable. The founder of the

York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition is Karen Sebben and she can be contacted at:

E-mail: [email protected]

Telephone: 289-803-2842

Website: www.yorkregionanti-bullying.org

Blog: http://yorkregionanti-bullyingcoalition.blogspot.com/


Table of Contents

London Anti-Bullying Coalition ......................................................................................... 2

York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition ................................................................................. 3

Dedication .......................................................................................................................... 5

Introduction ........................................................................................................................ 6

The Definition Of Bullying ................................................................................................. 7

Conflict vs. Bullying ............................................................................................................ 8

Facts About Bullying .......................................................................................................... 9

Various Forms Of Bullying ............................................................................................... 13

Profile Of A Bully .............................................................................................................. 14

Profile Of A Victim ........................................................................................................... 15

Profile Of A Bystander ..................................................................................................... 16

Bullying Power & Control Wheel .................................................................................... 17

Signs That My Child Is Being Bullied ............................................................................... 18

Consequences Of Bullying ............................................................................................... 18

What Parents Expect Schools To Do ................................................................................ 19

What Parents Can Do ....................................................................................................... 19

How You Can Help Your Child ......................................................................................... 22

What If Your Child Is The Bully ........................................................................................ 22

Roles & Responsibilities .................................................................................................... 23

Legislation ........................................................................................................................ 24

If Your Child Is Being Bullied We Recommend ............................................................... 29

Conclusion ........................................................................................................................ 30

References ........................................................................................................................ 31

Suggested Reading Material ........................................................................................... 32


Dedication

Bullying is about survival, and all of us will do whatever it takes to survive. In order

to create safe and friendly environments we need to continue working together

on awareness, education and enforcement. We, as parents, need to be passionate, and

we need to be concerned because our children are our future. Parents and educators

need to work together to foster a safe learning environment for our children.

This guide has been created as a result of our own personal experiences with bullying.

It is intended to provide information for parents of public school children that will

assist parents/guardians on how to advocate for their children and answer some of

the questions they may have about bullying. It is a guide dedicated to informing,

educating, and empowering parents to navigate the system and advocate for their

child. As parents, we know how precious and vulnerable our children can be as they

are growing physically and emotionally. This guide will also help others understand

what the parent perspective on bullying is and help raise awareness.


“ In most schools, it’s not the sensational acts of violence, but the smaller acts of aggression, threats, scuffles, and constant back talk that takes a terrible toll on the atmosphere of learning, on the morale of teachers, on the attitudes of students.”

-Bill Clinton

Introduction

The London Anti-Bullying Coalition and York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition are

advocacy organizations that strive to foster a culture of fairness, respect and equality

for all students in every school in order to eliminate the problem of child-on-child

violence that comes in the form of harassment, assault, intimidation, and stalking.

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child was ratified by Canada

in 1991. The Canadian Coalition for the Rights of Children have reported that the

Canadian Government stated before the United Nations Committee that it was “fully

committed” to protect children’s rights by implementing the Convention. The United

Nation’s report on where Canada is lacking in this regard is not reassuring.

The UN Convention on the rights of the child also addresses the rights of children

who are at the receiving end of bullying and harassment. Article 19 of the Convention

states:

Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and educational

measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or

abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual

abuse, while in the care of parent(s), legal guardian(s) or any other person who has

the care of the child.

According to The Canadian Coalition for the Rights of Children, “high rates of violence

against children continue in Canada without improvement over the last decade.”

It is important to remember that no child invites this kind of negative attention to

themselves. You may believe that this Guide will be of no use to you as your child

has never been bullied or is not involved in a bullying situation. However, research

suggests bullying will impact your child at some point throughout their education as

the role of the bystander.

Every day there are thousands of children too afraid to go to school because of

being bullied. Bullying can no longer be ignored and treated as a right of passage.

We can no longer continue to minimize or trivialize the problem of bullying in our

communities. To do so, can result in tragic outcomes that can be avoided.

© London and York Region Anti-Bullying Coalitions Page 6

The Definition Of Bullying

It is important to understand what bullying is and the various forms that bullying can

take in order to have a clear understanding on how to deal with it effectively. There is

a difference between conflict and bullying, which is shown on page 8. Currently there

is no globally accepted definition of bullying.

The Ontario Government defines bullying as follows:

Bullying is typically a form of repeated, persistent, and aggressive behaviour directed

at an individual or individuals that is intended to cause (or should be known to

cause) fear and distress and/or harm to another person’s body, feelings, self-esteem,

or reputation. Bullying occurs in a context where there is a real or perceived power

imbalance.

FURTHER:

Bullying is a form of abuse at the hands of peers that can take different forms at

different ages. Bullying is defined as repeated aggression in which there is an

imbalance of power between the child who bullies and the child who is victimized.

Through research conducted by PREVnet, experts state that bullying is a disrespectful

relationship problem.

• Children who bully are learning to use power and aggression to control

and distress others.

• Children who are victimized become increasingly powerless and find

themselves trapped in relationships in which they are being abused.


“ Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

-Leo Buscaglia


“ You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

Conflict vs. Bullying

Many times we are asked about the difference between Conflict and Bullying.

This chart will help you assess your situation.

Conflict Bullying

Equal Power Imbalance of power

Occasional Repeated

Accidental Intentional

Not serious Threats of physical or emotional harm; intent to humiliate, exclude, or victimize.

Equal emotional reactionStrong emotional reaction from target;

little or no reaction from bully.

Not seeking power or attentionAttempt to gain power, possessions,

or popularity.

Remorse – takes responsibilityBully may or may not show remorse;

may blame victim, or make them believe their feelings are not real.

Effort to solve problemLittle or no effort to solve problem; bully may deny there is a problem;

target may not be able to articulate.

Facts About Bullying

Fact: Bullying is associated with a range of physical and mental health problems, as

well as suicide, educational problems, antisocial problems, and relationship problems.

For example:

• Victimized children are more likely to report headaches and stomach aches than non-

victimized children. Children who both bully and are victimized may be at greatest

risk for physical health problems.

• Victimized children are more likely to report anxiety and depressive symptoms than

children uninvolved in bullying. Of greatest concern is the fact that psychiatric

problems associated with involvement in bullying tend to persist into later life.

• A high risk of suicidal ideation (having thoughts of suicide) is found among children

who are bullied, who bully others, and who are involved in both roles.

• Both victimized children and children who bully are at risk for poor school

functioning in terms of poor attitudes toward school, low grades, and absenteeism.

• 20-25% of frequently victimized children report bullying as the reason for missing

school.

• Youth who bully others are more likely to use alcohol and drugs and are at risk for

later criminality. For example, 60% of boys who bully others in elementary school

had criminal records by age 24.

Solution: It is essential to identify children at risk for bullying and/or victimization

and to provide support for their development in order to prevent the negative

consequences associated with this type of disrespectful peer relationship.

Fact: Without intervention, a significant proportion of youth who bully others in

childhood will continue to use their power negatively through adolescence and

into adulthood. The nature of bullying changes as children mature. From early

adolescence, new forms of aggression, carried out from a position of power, emerge.

With developing thinking and social skills, children become aware of others’

vulnerabilities and of their own power relative to others. Bullying then diversifies into

more sophisticated forms of verbal, social, homophobic, and sexually- and racially-

based aggression. Over time, these new forms of aggression are carried forward into

different relationships and environments. The destructive lessons learned in childhood

about the use of power may translate into sexual harassment in the workplace, dating

violence, marital abuse, child abuse, and elder abuse.



Solution: Early identification and intervention of bullying will prevent patterns of

aggressive interactions from forming. Adults must be aware that bullying changes

with age and may become more difficult to detect.

Fact: Approximately 12% of girls and 18% of boys reported bullying others at least

twice in previous months, whereas 15% of girls and 18% of boys reported being

victimized at least twice over the same period. These figures suggest that in a

classroom of 35 students, between 4 and 6 children are bullying and/or are being

bullied. Many more children observe bullying and know that it is going on. At some

point, the majority of children will engage in some form of bullying and experience

some form of victimization. A minority of children will have frequent, long-lasting,

serious, and pervasive involvement in bullying and/or victimization.

Solution: To ensure that children have healthy and productive relationships, it is

important to include all children, regardless of their involvement in bullying, in

bullying prevention programs. This means that programs and strategies must address

the needs and provide the necessary support for children who are victimized, children

who bully others, and children who watch bullying occur.

Fact: On the recent World Health Organization (WHO) Health Behaviours in School-

aged Children survey, Canada ranked a dismal 26th and 27th out of 35 countries on

measures of bullying and victimization, respectively. Moreover, our position on the

international stage has slipped relative to other countries. On the 1993/1994 survey,

Canada’s ranking on the prevalence of bullying and victimization was relatively higher

than in the 2001/2002 survey; however, the prevalence of bullying and victimization

among Canadian students has remained relatively stable. The drop in Canada’s

relative ranking in spite of stable rates, suggests that other countries have been

preventing bullying problems more effectively than Canada. The high proportions of

Canadian students who report bullying or being bullied confirm that this represents

an important social problem for Canada. One of the reasons that Canada is ranked

so poorly compared to other countries is our lack of a national campaign to address

bullying problems.

Solution: PREVNet (Promoting Relationships and Eliminating Violence) is a Networks

Centre of Excellence – New Initiative. Launched in 2006, their vision is to stop bullying

in Canada and to promote safe and healthy relationships for all Canadian children

and youth. Led by scientific co-investigators, Dr. Debra Pepler of York University and

Dr. Wendy Craig of Queen’s University, this national network is the first of its kind in

Canada and provides an unprecedented opportunity for social innovation and social-

cultural change.

Fact: Given the power imbalance that exists between the child who bullies and the

child who is victimized, it is incredibly difficult for children who are being victimized to

remove themselves from this destructive relationship. They make numerous attempts

to make the bullying stop on their own but these efforts are usually unsuccessful and

may make the bullying worse. Adult intervention is required to correct the power

imbalance. Children and parents may have to report the bullying to more than one

person before the behaviour will stop. We do know that victimized children who

told an adult about being bullied reported being less victimized the following year

compared to children who did not report being bullied. When no one talks about

bullying, children who bully feel they can carry on without consequences. Secrecy

empowers children who bully.

Solution: Children need to be encouraged to report bullying and be given multiple

strategies to make these reports. Adults must convey the message that they want to

know about children’s experiences and that it is their job to make the bullying stop.

Fact: Encouraging children who are victimized to fight back may, in fact, makes the

bullying interaction worse. We know that when children use aggressive strategies

to manage bullying situations, they tend to experience prolonged and more severe

bullying interactions as a result.

Solution: Children should be encouraged to be assertive, not aggressive, and to inform

a trusted adult about what has happened to them.

Fact: Bullying occurs wherever children gather to live, learn, or play. As such, the

majority of bullying tends to occur in the classroom, on the school playground, and

on the school bus where children are most often together. Although bullying tends

to occur in school, we know that bullying is a community problem, not just a school

problem. As the primary institution in children’s lives, schools can play a leadership

role in addressing bullying problems.

Solution: Adults are essential for children and youth’s healthy relationships. All adults

are responsible for creating positive environments, promoting healthy relationships,

and ending violence in the lives of children and youth. They are role models and must

lead by example and refrain from using their power aggressively. Adults must look

for, listen, and respond to bullying. Adults can organize social activities in ways that

protect and support children’s relationships and stop bullying.

Fact: Unfortunately, bullying does occur within families. Bullying is defined as a

relationship problem in which there is repeated aggression by a person with greater


power directed at a person with lesser power. Repeated aggression within family

relationships is most commonly called “abuse” or “family violence,” and within peer

relationships it is called “bullying” or “harassment.” The family is the first context in

which children learn about relationships, and lessons learned in the family provide

the foundation for future relationships. Research shows there is a developmental

connection between experiencing or witnessing abuse in the family, and experiencing

or perpetuating bullying and abuse in future relationships. If we look closely at the

elements of the definition of bullying, we can clearly see the overlap and subtle

distinction between bullying and abuse, with abuse being a form of bullying that

implies a violation of adult responsibility. For example, consider the following:

• Occurs in the context of a relationship. Relationships between couples (spousal

abuse, woman abuse), parents, children (child abuse, elder abuse), and in other

relationships in the extended family (grandparents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins,

etc.). Bullying can occur within sibling relationships and between cousins.

• When one person in the relationship has greater power than the other. In a

romantic relationship, there is often an imbalance of power due to biological,

cultural, psychological, and economic factors. It is clear that parents have greater

power due to the child’s immaturity, vulnerability, and dependence on the caregiver.

In relationships between adult children and their elderly parents, the balance of

power becomes reversed as the care giving role is reversed. Between siblings or

cousins, it is often, but not always, the older child who has greater power because of

greater size and maturity.

• Repeated aggression. Aggression can take many forms, but the common

denominator is disrespect of another human being’s rights to physical and

psychological safety and sense of dignity. Within families, there is a universal

expectation that those with greater power assume responsibility to safeguard the

well being of more vulnerable family members. When there is a repeated pattern of

the violation of this responsibility, either by neglect or by acts that cause distress, we

use the term “abuse.” When children and youth bully their peers, they violate the

rights of the other; however, they are not in the same position of responsibility for

safeguarding the well being of the other due to their own immaturity. Thus, bullying

can be seen as a signal that the child or youth needs support in learning about

relationship values and skills.


Solution: It is vital that children experience secure and healthy relationships in the

family. It is imperative that we teach our children that relationships in which there is a

power imbalance are precisely the relationships in which the person with more power

has the responsibility to safeguard the well being of the more vulnerable person.

Through modeling respectful relationships and taking responsibility for the well being

of those who are dependent and vulnerable, both within and beyond the family,

adults can help to promote healthy relationships and prevent bullying and abuse.

Today many people believe that the word “bullying” is a catchphrase for what is

actually taking place among our youth. Our children have effectively found ways to

intentionally harm each other in the form of stalking, harassment, and assault.

Various Forms Of Bullying

Verbal Bullying: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt

me” no longer holds true in today’s diverse society. Repeated verbal attacks that take

the form of insults, racist remarks, homophobic slurring, taunting, belittling, cruel

criticism, and sexually suggestive/abusive remarks are some examples. If verbal bullying

is allowed or condoned, it becomes normalized and the target dehumanized.

Physical Bullying: This can include unwanted touching in the form of slapping, hitting,

choking, punching, kicking, twisting of limbs, spitting, etc. The results of physical

bullying will often leave visible signs that can be detected by the parent.

Relational Bullying: This form of bullying is often difficult to detect as this takes place

in the form of isolation, shunning and exclusion and is used to alienate and reject a

peer or intentionally ruin friends through the use of rumours.

Cyberbullying: The use of technology to verbally, socially, or psychologically attack

someone. Today’s children are dealing with things that we in our days never had to

deal with. The relationship between parents and children, and the power we have to

effect change is paramount with technology constantly changing.


Profile Of A Bully

Bullies are not all bad kids; they are just making bad decisions and behaving

inappropriately.

1. May witness physical and verbal violence or aggression at home. They have a

positive view of this behavior, and they act aggressively toward other people,

including adults.

2. The bully who has been both bullied and then becomes the bully. These bullies lash

out as a result of being at the receiving end of bullying themselves in order to get

some relief.

3. Are often physically strong.

4. Have trouble following rules.

5. Show little concern for the feelings of others.

Although there are different types of bullies, there seems to be a common thread.

1. They like being looked up to and often expect everyone to behave according

to their wishes. Think highly of themselves.

2. Find it hard to see a situation from the other person’s perspective.

3. Are concerned only with their wants and pleasures and not the needs,

rights, and feelings of others.

4. Tend to hurt other kids when parents or other adults are not around.

5. View weaker peers as victims.

6. Use blame, criticism, and false allegations to project their own inadequacies

onto their target.

7. Refuse to accept responsibility for their actions.

8. Lack the ability to consider the short-term, long-term, and possible unintended

consequences of their current behaviour.

9. Crave attention.


Bullying is not about anger or conflict. It’s about contempt, a powerful feeling of

dislike toward somebody considered to be worthless, inferior, or undeserving of

respect.

Profile Of A Victim

Any child can be at the receiving end of bullying. When it happens, parents often

question why their child has become a victim. The reason why remains irrelevant.

Do not allow your school administrator to turn your child into an evocative victim;

i.e., “if your child weren’t so sensitive, maybe he/she wouldn’t be picked on.”

• Children who are sensitive.

• Children of different religious backgrounds.

• Children who are passive, nervous, or anxious.

• Children who are gifted or have a learning disability.

• A child who is already lacking in self-confidence.

• A child who is high on the social ladder at school.

• Children with physical disabilities.

The list is endless. Some children who experience extreme bullying for an extended

length of time may become bullies themselves and/or they can be at risk for a number

of mental health challenges from social anxiety to post traumatic stress disorder.

Kids who bully, who are bullied, and who are bystanders are all impacted and are

locked into a cycle of violence. This experience weakens the spirit of all our children.

One thing is for certain. Every child should be treated with fairness, respect and

equality. No child deserves to be bullied.


“ No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Profile Of A Bystander

There are two kinds of bystanders. They are the child that stands by and says or does

nothing when witnessing bullying, and the child that encourages the bullying by

cheering him on. Regardless of the kind of bystander in any given bullying situation,

both have negative consequences.

A child that encourages the bullying to continue sends the message that this kind of

antisocial behaviour is acceptable and causes even more distress to the child who is

being bullied. It encourages the bully to continue with this kind of negative behaviour

and it puts other bystanders at risk in that they become disillusioned. The more these

children observe the aggressive actions of a bully, the more likely they start to imitate

those activities, specially if the bully is high up on the social ladder at school.

Looking the other way and doing nothing also has its consequences. A child who is

fearful of intervening or speaking out runs the risk of struggling with their own self-

confidence. Their self-respect is placed in jeopardy when deciding whether or not they

should become involved, and when they don’t, they struggle with guilt over having

done nothing to intervene.

Many experts report that it is the bystander who has the power to either escalate a

bullying situation, or getting it to stop.

As legitimate as some of the reasons are to not get involved, the bystander with a fear

of becoming involved becomes apathetic or indifferent. From indifference, contempt

is born, which is what bullying is all about.


“ The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be acknowledged.”

-William James

Bullying Power & Control Wheel

Bullying is defined as a conscious, willful, deliberate, and repeated hostile activity

perpetrated by an abuser who possesses more physical and/or social power and

dominance than the victim. It is frighteningly clear that when many normal people

gain a measure of power over others they often cannot resist the urge to abuse it and

treat those below them with cruelty, indignity, and contempt.


Signs That My Child Is Being Bullied

It is reported that parents of bullies and school officials often blame victims of bullying

for being weak and not being able to stand up for themselves. This, coupled with

threats from their aggressors not to tell anyone, makes it difficult for them to talk

with parents and teachers.

Ten percent of children are considered to be extreme victims who have been the victim

of bullies for an extended period of time, and victims are just as likely to be boys as

girls. They often report strong fears or dislike of going to school.

Symptoms that a child might be a victim of bullying:

• Acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction.

• Becomes depressed.

• Loses interest in school work or grades drop.

• Loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep.

• Waits to use the bathroom at home.

• Arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises.

• Asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance.

• Refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism

is directly related to fears of being bullied at school).

• Wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife.

Consequences Of Bullying

Short Term Effects Of Being A Victim

Being a victim is stressful for children. Many children develop a strong dislike of going

to school, especially because of times like recess or gym class. Many victims begin to

distrust all their peers at school and have problems making friends. Extreme victims

can develop depression or physical illness.

Long Term Effects Of Being A Victim

While bullying can cause immediate problems for children such as depression and high

anxiety, recent research suggests prolonged torment and abuse could severely affect a

child’s development. Cortisol is a hormone the body uses to regulate stress.

When someone is constantly stressed, the cortisol becomes over-produced and that in

turn impacts memory. Prolonged exposure to stress can also affect a person’s ability to

respond to new forms of stress – a worry for bullied children as they grow older. Some


children dealing with long term aggression suffer from mental health issues which can

include thoughts of suicide.

Short Term Effects Of Being A Bully

Even though bullies are sometimes viewed positively by their peers, they rarely are

capable of maintaining close friendships.

Long Term Effects Of Being A Bully

Bullying is a behaviour that is often one of the first steps to more serious problems. If

intervention and prevention does not take place, the aggressive nature of the bullying

may escalate to more serious acts of delinquency and criminal activity. Bullies are also

more likely to use drugs and alcohol during their adolescence.

What Parents Expect Schools To Do

• Early intervention strategies (ask what the school has in place).

• Teacher training.

• Create a positive school climate.

• Get an accurate assessment of the problem.

• Ask how your child’s identity and privacy will be protected to prevent retaliation.

• If your child’s identity is known, ask how the school will keep your child safe.

• Expect your school to provide higher visibility.

• Disciplinary measures that send the message to other students that

this kind of behaviour is not acceptable.

• Removal of the student to avoid regular contact with each other.

• Mediation process by an independent third party.

• Provide services available in school should your child need emotional support.

• Human rights training for both teachers and parents.

What Parents Can Do

We recognize that emotions can run high when dealing with a situation where your

child has been harmed. We ask that you use respectful language in your written

communications and conversations with school representatives. Calm and level-headed

communication achieves the best results. It is also important to be familiar with your

school board safe school policy, which can be found on your board website.


• Create a safe environment for your children to tell you about being bullied. Many

times, children are embarrassed to tell their parents what happened, thinking

their parents will blame them. Also, younger children can’t verbalize what they are

experiencing the same way older children are able to. Listen carefully to what your

child has to say. It will determine the type of steps you will take. Intervention is vital

and how you intervene is just as important.

• Reinforce the idea that if they are being bullied, it is not their fault.

• We do not suggest you tell your children to hit or fight back; it will only make

things worse. Suggest that your child ignore, move away from, or ask the negative

behaviour to stop.

All Local School Boards

If dealing with a bullying situation in the above manner is not successful, we suggest

the following:

• Keep a detailed log of who you spoke to including time, date, name,

and conversation highlights.

Use the following steps to contact school and board personnel in the order outlined.

If you reach the last stage on this list with no resolution, contact us. There are no

skipping steps. Successful resolution requires working with established protocols.

Local Public School Board

• Teacher

• Vice Principal

• Principal

• Superintendent (can be found on your board website)

• Safe School Superintendent (only within some school boards)

• School Council

• Director of Education

• Police

• Elected Trustee

Private Schools

The Ministry of Education’s jurisdiction does not include private schools. Should you

experience bullying in a private school setting, your concerns should be directed to the

Board of Governors or the owner of the school.


Political Assistance

All written correspondence with your school or school board should be carbon-copied

to your local Member of Provincial Parliament’s office. Our politicians cannot assist in

resolving issues if they are not aware of them.

Ontario Human Rights Tribunal - www.hrto.ca or toll free 1-866-355-6099

If your child’s bullying is due to one of the following reasons, please contact the

Ontario Human Rights Tribunal and request an application:

• Gender

• Race

• Sexual orientation

• Religion

• Disability/differently abled

Our schools are bound by the Human Rights Convention and as such must be

accountable to that office.

Ontario College of Teachers - [email protected] or toll free 1-888-534-2222

If you have a complaint regarding a teacher or administrator at your local school or

school board, please contact the Ontario College of Teachers to file a complaint.

Office of the Ombudsman - [email protected] or toll free 1-800-263-1830

Boards of Education do not form part of our Ombudsman’s portfolio. However, we

have recently learned from this office that, for statistical purposes, they will accept

a school board complaint and keep record of it in their files without conducting an

investigation. This information is then published in the Ombudsman’s Annual Report.

The Ombudsman’s report of 2009-2010 disclosed there were 110 school board related

complaints received during that period. If your family is currently having difficulty

resolving an on-going issue, you have the option of lodging a formal complaint with

the office of the Ombudsman. Before we can expand the Ombudsman’s power to

investigate school board related issues, the number of recorded complaints needs

to increase.


How You Can Help Your Child

How can we, as parents, respond to the crisis of bullying in schools today? By teaching

all children the difference between conflict and bullying and how and why it is

harmful, educators and parents can create an important foundation to stop peer

abuse before it starts.

It is important to remain positive at trying to find a solution and this attitude needs

to be passed on to your child. Assist your child with learning that a confident and

resilient appearance can make a dent at disempowering the child who is bullying.

• Don’t ignore the problem. Ask the school, family doctor, or other trusted

sources for help.

• Familiarize yourself with board policy along with your school’s policy.

• Stay connected with your child, validate the feelings of your child.

• Explain to your child what bullying is (see chart on page 8) and how to respond.

•Teach your child the importance of empathy.

• Set a good example.

• Look for warning signs.

• Talk to the school.

Children don’t understand why they have been targeted. Perhaps a discussion with

your child as to why some children bully others will help them to understand that it is

NOT their fault someone has chosen them to pick on. See page 14.

Children develop socially and emotionally at varying degrees. Your public library may

have reading materials to assist you with teaching your child reactionary approaches

and understanding that by changing the way they react could be part of the solution,

even if it means they need to pretend they are not upset about the situation.

What If Your Child Is The Bully

If your child is the bully, the first step that a parent must do is acknowledge the fact.

As with the bullied child, have a conversation to find out why your child is behaving

in a negative way. Your child may have some issues or problems that have not been

shared with you.

• Report your child’s difficulty to school staff.

• Support the consequences taken by the school at home.


• Discuss the short term and long term impact of your child’s behaviour.

• Ask the school for assistance to help build supports to change negative behaviour.

• Help your child develop relationship skills.

• Support your child in learning how they can make restitution for the harm

they have caused.

• Insist upon constant communication with the school and the steps they are

taking so they can be reinforced and supported at home.

Roles & Responsibilities

Duties Of A Parent

The parent or guardian of a person who is required by law to attend school shall cause

their child to attend school unless that child is at least 16 years old and has withdrawn

from parental control.

Duties Of Teacher According To The Education Act

• To teach diligently and faithfully the classes or subjects assigned to the teacher by

the principal.

• To encourage the pupils in the pursuit of learning.

• To inculcate by precept and example respect for religion and the principles of

Judaeo-Christian morality and the highest regard for truth, justice, loyalty, love of

country, humanity, benevolence, sobriety, industry, frugality, purity, temperance, and

all other virtues.

• To assist in developing co-operation and co-ordination of effort among the members

of the staff of the school.

• To maintain, under the direction of the principal, proper order and discipline in the

teacher’s classroom and while on duty in the school and on the school ground.

• To participate in professional activity days as designated by the board under the

regulations.

Duties of Principals According to the Education Act

It is the duty of a principal of a school, in addition to the principal’s duties as a teacher:

• To maintain proper order and discipline in the school.

• To develop co-operation and co-ordination of effort among the members of the staff

of the school.

• In accordance with this Act, the regulations and the guidelines issued by the Minister,

to collect information for inclusion in a record in respect of each pupil enrolled in


the school and to establish, maintain, retain, transfer, and dispose of the record.

• To give assiduous attention to the health and comfort of the pupils, to the

cleanliness, temperature, and ventilation of the school, to the care of all teaching

materials and other school property, and to the condition and appearance of the

school buildings and grounds.

• Subject to an appeal to the board, to refuse to admit to the school or classroom a

person whose presence in the school or classroom would in the principal’s judgment

be detrimental to the physical or mental well being of the pupils.

In addition to the above, principals are responsible for communicating with parents

when dealing with bullying situations. By law, the principal cannot disclose to a

parent the name of the student who has harmed your child, only the nature of the

harm and that disciplinary measures have been taken. A principal must also apply

progressive discipline (see Bill 212). A principal may discuss with parents the factors the

principal has taken into consideration when making a decision about consequences,

without disclosing what has been put into place. Progressive discipline is used to

apply prevention programs, interventions, supports, and consequences to address the

negative behaviour.

Legislation

Bill 212: Progressive Discipline and School Safety Act came into effect in June 2007

The Liberal government’s Bill 212 was in response to a complaint launched by the

Ontario Human Rights Commission regarding the extent to which racialized students

and students with disabilities were unfairly treated through the zero tolerance

approach to student discipline. The Bill also responded to education stakeholders,

such as the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario, who found other aspects of

the Bill problematic, including giving teachers the authority to suspend students.

Key Changes

Board Policy Required

As of February 1, 2008, school boards are required to develop and implement policies

on bullying prevention and intervention.

Student Suspensions

Principals may suspend students anywhere from a full day to 20 days. The suspension

affects the student’s attendance at classes and all school-related activities.


Suspension For Bullying Behaviour

“Bullying” is added to the list of behaviours for which students can be suspended.

Cyberbullying

The Ministry definition also recognizes cyberbullying. The definition states bullying

“may also occur through the use of technology,” such as e-mail, cellphones, text

messaging, Internet websites, or other technology.

Progressive Discipline

When responding to negative student behaviour, Bill 212 requires principals to

consider “mitigating or other factors.” These factors are defined in Ontario Regulation

472/07. This requirement represents one of the key policy changes included in the Bill.

“Mitigating factors” include whether a student is able to control his or her behaviour

or understands the consequences of the behaviour.

“Other factors” include the age and history of the student, whether the behaviour

was in response to harassment, and in the cases of special education students, whether

the behaviour was a manifestation of a disability identified in the student’s individual

education plan.

Bill 157: Keeping our Kids Safe at School Act came into effect on February 1, 2010

This legislation was designed to make schools safer by requiring:

1. All school staff report to principals when they become aware students may have

engaged in incidents for which they could be suspended or expelled.

2. The principal to inform the parents of students harmed as a result of an incident for

which a student could be suspended or expelled.

3. School staff responds if they observe student behaviour likely to have a negative

impact on the school climate. This response is to be carried out in accordance with

Ministry and school board policy.

There are criteria that a principal must take into consideration when exercising

discretionary suspensions.

A principal must consider whether to suspend a student if he or she believes the pupil

has engaged in any of the following activities while at school, at a school-related

activity, or in other circumstances where engaging in the activity will have an impact

on the school climate:

1. Uttering a threat to inflict serious bodily harm on another person.

2. Possessing alcohol or illegal drugs.

3. Being under the influence of alcohol.


4. Swearing at a teacher or at another person in a position of authority.

5. Committing an act of vandalism that causes extensive damage to school property

at the pupil’s school or to property located on the premises of the pupil’s school.

6. Bullying.

7. Any other activity that is an activity for which a principal may suspend

a pupil under a policy of the board.

There are situations where a principal must suspend a student:

1. Possessing a weapon, including possessing a firearm.

2. Using a weapon to cause or to threaten bodily harm to another person.

3. Committing physical assault on another person that causes bodily harm requiring

treatment by a medical practitioner.

4. Committing sexual assault.

5. Trafficking in weapons or in illegal drugs.

6. Committing robbery.

7. Giving alcohol to a minor.

When inappropriate behaviour occurs, school boards across Ontario are required

to implement “progressive discipline” approaches. In doing so, they must take into

account mitigating factors when determining whether to suspend or expel students.

Bill 13: The Accepting Schools Act came into effect on June 5, 2012.

This legislation was designed to make schools safer:

• Policies must be put into place on progressive discipline, bullying prevention and

intervention, and on equity and inclusive education.

• Tougher consequences must be considered for students who bully others.

• If students are expelled or on long-term suspension (more than five school days),

they will receive academic/non-academic support through a suspension/expulsion

program.

• Provide training and information to teachers and other school staff on an annual

basis about bullying prevention and promoting positive school climates.

• Include goals around positive school climate and bullying prevention in their multi-

year plans and make these plans available to the public.

Does Bill 13 Change The Role of Principals?

The Bill gives principals new, specific responsibilities. They are now required to:


• Investigate any incident reported by a board employee, which could lead to a

student being suspended or expelled, including bullying.

• Notify the parent/guardians of students who have harmed another student about

the incident, when the students’ behaviour could lead to them being suspended or

expelled. Also invite the parents to discuss the supports that will be provided to their

child.

• Invite the parents/guardians of the student who was harmed in the incident to

discuss the supports that will be provided to their child. Principals were already

required to notify these parents.

• Communicate with teachers and where appropriate, other board employees, who

reported an incident, which could lead to a student getting suspended or expelled.

Principals will be required to inform them about the results of their investigation

into the incident.

Boards are required to:

• Set up a process for parents to follow if they have concerns about the support their

child is receiving.

• Develop a procedure that allows students, parents, and others to safely report

incidents of bullying.

• Conduct school climate surveys of staff, students, and parents at least every two

years.

• Offer parents more opportunities to learn about student safety and school climate.

Bill 13 requires:

• Schools to provide support to students who have engaged in inappropriate

behaviour or have been affected by inappropriate behaviour.

• Schools to provide programs, interventions, or other supports to both victims

and bullies and to those who witness the incident.

• Schools to provide ways for students to safely report incidents of bullying.

• Boards and schools to allow students to form groups at their school to raise

awareness and understanding of all students on topics such as:

• Anti-racism

• People with disabilities

• Gender equity

• Sexual orientation and gender identity. These groups may include

Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs).


Boards and principals will not be able to prevent students from using the name GSA

or another name the students may choose for these groups.

Students may form other types of groups based on the needs of their school.

• The name of the student-led group must help promote a positive school climate

that is inclusive and accepting of all students.


“ Whatever we have accomplished has been because other people have helped us.”

-Walt Disney

If your child is being bullied we recommend the following:

Use this guide to contact personnel in order as outlined. If you reach the last name on this list with no resolution - contact us. There are no skipping steps. Successful resolution requires working with established protocols.

What children need to learn growing up is that every person is unique and they need to understand and accept differences in people, both physical and emotional. This education needs to happen in our homes our communities and not just at school. This is all about changing the culture in our schools and it begins with our Principals, the very individuals our Education Act stipulates are responsible for the safety of all students. Until then, supporting and protecting the victims is crucial and mandatory along with wrapping services around the aggressor.

It is unfortunate to have to go through the “food chain” but this is not always the case. While we understand a number of bullying situations are handled well, there is a reason anti-bullying coalitions in this Province are on the rise.

Bullying is a community problem which requires a community solution.


1 Teacher

2 Vice Principal/Principal - Request safety plan to keep your child safe.

3 Superintendent of the school

4 Safe School Superintendent (only some school boards)

5 Police - Discuss whether criminal charges are warranted..

6 Director of Education

7 Elected School Board Trustee(s)/Chair of the School Board Trustees

8 Ministry of Education Office

9 Elected MPPs

10 If your child’s bullying is due to one of the following reasons: gender, race,

orientation, religion, disability (differently-abled) contact the Ontario Human Rights

Tribunal and request an application. Our schools are bound by The Human Rights

Convention and as such must be accountable to that office.

11 If you have a complaint regarding an educator of your school/board consider filing a

complaint with the Ontario College of Teachers.

12 Ombudsman’s Office - Boards of Education do not form part of the Ombudsman’s

portfolio. However, we have learned for statistical purposes they will accept a school

complaint and keep record without conducting an investigation. This information

is then published in the O’s Annual Report. Before the expansion of the O’s power,

there must be an increase in recorded complaints.

13 Share your story with local media.

14 If necessary, seek legal advice.

Conclusion

Ten and seven years ago, the founders of the London and York Region Anti-Bullying

Coalitions were mothers that were faced with the biggest challenges of their lives.

Advocating for the safety of their children while at school was an arduous and

extremely frustrating task. It should not have been. As parents we felt marginalized

and just wanted the bullying to stop. We all have the capacity to choose a course of

action, and then take responsibility for the choices we make. But this did not take

place by the individuals involved in our personal situations. It caused us to question

victim and parental rights.

We made it our quest to educate ourselves on safe schools and to learn what supports

are available to all parents who have children in publicly funded schools. We asked

hundreds of questions, we spoke with many experts, and we involved ourselves

in the political changes taking place. We prepared this guide because we envision

a community that respects all differences – one in which every child and adult

experiences a fundamental human right to feel safe.

The current Ministry of Education is focused on best practices when it comes to

prevention and intervention. There is still a great deal of work to be done on the

issue of bullying and our focus remains with awareness, education, transparency and

accountability.

We believe with awareness, education, and enforcement we will make progress

toward eliminating bullying. Bullying is a community problem, which requires a

community solution. Many Voices...One Vision to eliminate bullying.


“ Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

-Mother Teresa

References

Canadian Coalition for the Rights of Children

Definition of Bullying from Policy/Program Memorandum 144, Ministry of Education

Juvonen & Graham, 2001

Olweus, 1991

Pepler & Craig, 2000

Barbara Coloroso – The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander

Kayte Anton at the YWCA Crisis Center in Enid, Oklahoma USA

Tracy Vaillancourt – Elsevier Journal 2011

Kids Help Phone Line

Ontario Education Act

Bill 212 – Progressive Discipline and School Safety Act http://www.ontla.on.ca/web/bills/bills_detail.do?locale=en&Intranet=&BillID=2235

Bill 157 – Keeping our Kids Safe at School Act http://www.ontla.on.ca/web/bills/bills_detail.do?locale=en&BillID=2161 Bill 13 – The Accepting Schools Act http://www.ontla.on.ca/web/bills/bills_detail.do?locale=en&BillID=2549


Suggested Reading Material

Your local public library is a community hub which strengthens individuals, families

and neighbourhoods by connecting them to people, relevant information, collections,

programs and resources. Here are some of our favourite books on the issue of

bullying.

Dealing with Bullying / Marianne Johnston

Living with Peer Pressure and Bullying / Thomas Paul Tarshis

Bullying in Schools and What To Do About It / Ken Rigby

Cornered: 14 Stories of Bullying and Defiance / edited by Rhoda Belleza

And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence / James Garbarino, and Ellen deLara

Sticks and Stones: The Problem of Bullying and How to Solve It / Emily Bazelon

The Bully, The Bullied, and The Bystander: From Pre-school to High School: How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence / Barbara Coloroso

Bullying Epidemic: Not Just Child’s Play / Lorna Blumen

Odd Girl Out / Rachel Simmons

Life Strategies for dealing with bullies: Jay McGraw

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and parents sane)/ Gavin de Becker

Hold on to your Kids: Why parents need to matter more than peers/Gordon Neufeld

When Your Child is being Bullied: Real Solutions for Parents, Educators & Other Professionals/ J.E. DiMarco & M.K. Newman

The Bully Free Classroom: Over 100 Tips and Strategies for Teachers K-8 / Allan L. Beane, Ph.D.

Bullying: A Crisis in our schools and communities/ Raymond T. Chodzinski, Ph.D.

Parent’s Guide to Preventing and Responding to Bullying/ Jason Thomas

Bullying: A Parent’s Guide to Stop Bullying/ Bob Shami Schools Where Everyone Belongs: Practical Strategies for Reducing Bullying / Stan Davis with Julia Davis

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Dealing with the parents, teachers, coaches, and counselors who can make or break your child’s future/ Rosalind Wiseman


Bullied: What every parent, teacher and kid needs to know about ending the cycle of fear/ Carrie Goldman

Websites:

PREVnet: www.prevnet.ca

Ontario Ministry of Education: www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/safeschools/bullying.html

Kids Help Phone Line: www.kidshelpphone.ca/teens/home/splash.aspx

A search engine for news about bullying: www.bullyonline.org/news/index/html

Report Bullying: www.corporatesponsorship.info

Your source for educational support services: www.sourcerecource.com

Youth Resource: www.bullyingcanada.ca

Canadian Mental Health Association: www.cmha.ca

Award winning site for youth by youth: www.mindyourmind.ca

Children and Youth Support Directory: www.mentalhealth4kids.ca

Schools that advocate peace: www.peacefulschoolsinternational.org

Empowering Kids to deal with bullies: www.kidpower.org

World’s Largest Resource on Bullying: www.bullyonline.org

The Bully Project: www.thebullyproject.com

Interactive site for youth: www.bullybeware.com

List of resources: www.bullyingawarenessnetwork.ca


NOTE THAT BY USING THIS TOOLKIT OR INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN YOU AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING:This information is provided as a public service by the London Anti-Bullying Coalition (“LABC”) and the York Region Anti-Bullying Coalition (“YRABC”). This toolkit and all of the information it contains are provided “as is” without warranty of any kind, whether express or implied. All implied warranties, including, without limitation, implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement, are hereby expressly disclaimed. Links and references to any other websites or sources of information or information are provided for information only. Under no circumstances will the LABC and YRABC be liable to any person, business entity, or any other party for any direct, indirect, special, incidental, consequential, or other damages based on any use of the Parent Toolkit or any information found herein or therein, including, without limitation, any injury or contribution to or exacerbation of injury, lost profits, business interruption, or loss of any kind, even if the LABC and YRABC has been specifically advised of the possibility of such damages.


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