A Step-by-Step Approach to Building a
Personal Network of SupportDD60118 1209 PRINTED IN USA. © 2010. Lilly USA, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Managing Your Depression
INTRODUCTION TO SUPPORT PARTNERS PROGRAMHow can Support Help You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
What is a Support Partner? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
How do I use this Guidebook? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
STEP 1: Recognizing DepressionWhat is Depression? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
The Goal of Treatment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
STEP 2: Choosing ASupport PartnerThe Power of Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Finding the Best Support Partner for You . . . . . 11
Things to Think about Before Choosing . . . . . . . 14
What if You Can’t Think of Someone? . . . . . . . . . 16
STEP 3: Asking For SupportHow to Ask for Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Do You Need More than one Support Partner? . 19
What if Someone says “No"? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
STEP 4: Building a PartnershipLearning about Depression Together . . . . . . . . . 21
How can Your Support Partner Help You? . . . . . 22
Setting Future Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
STEP 5: Managing Your DepressionSeeking Help From a Doctor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Mapping Out a Care Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Depression and Suicide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Holding the Hope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Keeping a Diary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Setting Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Taking Care of Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
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A Support Partner is someone who is dedicated to helping you get well.
Introduction to Support Partners
with depression to get help from a doctor. A
doctor can work with you to find a care plan
that is best for you.
If you think you might have depression, or
if your doctor said you have it, you are not
alone. The goal of Support Partners is to help
you build a group of friends that can give you
support. The program also offers useful tips
for dealing with new depression experiences.
Your chances of being healthy can really
improve by making and keeping good social
relationships.
What is a Support Partner? A Support Partner is someone who is dedi-
cated to helping you get well. This person can
be someone to cheer you on or listen to you
when you need them; he or she can support
you and help you understand that you can get
better from depression.If you think you might
have depression, or if your doctor said you
have it, there’s no reason to feel alone.
Support can be given in many different ways,
depending on what you need. Some people
Introduction to Support Partners
Introduction to Support Partners
Support Partners is a program for people with
depression — and the people who care about them.
How can Support Help You?Depression can make people feel alone. It
can cause them to back away from family,
friends and loved ones. They may also feel
hopeless at times. They may suddenly find
it hard to do the things they once enjoyed.
Since depression can be difficult to talk
about, having support can make a differ-
ence in someone’s life.
Remember, it is important for a person
Managing Your Depression
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Managing Your Depression
give you a chance to tell them about your
personal experiences. It can also help you talk
about your goals for getting better. You can
also use the guidebook to help you find a doctor
and decide on a long-term care plan. On top
of that, the guidebooks provide more places to
find information.
Introduction to Support Partners
may need a Support Partner to provide a
safe place for talking about their feelings.
Others might need help with daily chores.
Anyone can be your Support Partner — fam-
ily, friends, co-workers, neighbors, spiritual
leaders or others.
How do I use this Guidebook? The Managing Your Depression guidebook
gives step-by-step instructions for building
a group to support you. Each step offers
different tips, including how to see the signs
and symptoms of depression. It will also
teach you how to find a Support Partner.
This guidebook is one of three Support
Partners guidebooks. Being a Support
Partner was created to help your friend(s)
learn how they can support you. You should
give a copy to each of your Support Partners.
Also, we strongly urge you and your Sup-
port Partner(s) to read the Shared Guidebook
together. This guidebook can help you
begin an important conversation about
depression. The shared guidebook can
4Introduction to Support Partners
5
Managing Your Depression
Recognizing Depression Recognizing Depression 6
STEP 1: Recognizing Depression
What is Depression?
Depression is a real illness and requires treatment. No one
chooses to be depressed.
One thought is that it is caused
by not having enough of certain
chemicals in the brain. Depression
can make people feel and act differently.
Everyone has a different experience with depres-
sion. It can start because of a single event or
stress. It may also run in the family or it may have
no outside cause at all. Also, when signs, or symp-
toms, don’t all go away it is more likely to come
back — but getting well is possible. Nobody should
settle for feeling only a little better. Most people
with the illness get better with the right care.
Managing Your Depression
7 8Recognizing DepressionRecognizing Depression
Nobody should settle for feeling only a little better.
themselves. That way, they can move forward
with their lives. Symptoms that don’t go away
completely can hurt a person’s chances of stay-
ing well. It may also increase the risk of symp-
toms coming back. Nobody should settle for
feeling only a little better. Finding a doctor and
sticking with treatment can help keep a person
with depression on the road to wellness. On top
of that, getting support from a friend or loved
one can also help.
Emotional
• Sadness throughout the day, nearly every day
• Loss of interest in, or enjoyment of, your favorite activities
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Excessive or inappropriate feelings of guilt
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Trouble making decisions
Physical
• Fatigue or lack of energy
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Change in appetite or weight
• Trouble concentrating
• Restlessness
• Feeling slowed down
COMMON SYMPTOMS
Depression has many signs, or symptoms:
Talk to a doctor if both of the following occur:
• Sadness or loss of interest close to every day for at least two weeks
• At least four other signs from the list above during the same two weeks
The Goal of TreatmentThe goal of any care plan is to help people with
depression get back to feeling and acting like
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Managing Your Depression
10Choosing a Support Partner
STEP 2: Choosing a Support Partner
The Power of Support
Asking for a helping hand or shoulder to lean on does not need to make you feel embarrassed. It means that
you are working hard to get better. In fact, hav-
ing a Support Partner can have many benefits.
A Support Partner can:
• Give you hope that you can get better
• Help you follow your progress
• See changes that may show your depression is coming back or getting worse
• Help you find a doctor
• Go to doctor visits with you
Choosing a Support Partner 10
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Finding the Best Support Partner for You Use the tools on the next page to write down
everyone you have a relationship with. You may
already have someone you want to be your Sup-
port Partner. If not, making a list may help you
think of someone. You may also want more than
one Support Partner. If so, this list can help you
think of all the people you can ask. Remember, it
can be important to have a Support Partner, but
they cannot replace help from a doctor.
• Spouse
• Life partner
• Boyfriend or girlfriend
• Family member (mother, father, sibling, aunt, uncle, etc.), in-law
• Close friend
• Teacher/coach
• PTA member
• Playgroup moms/dads
• Spiritual leader
• Religious or spiritual group
• Close colleague
• Current or old neighbor
• Roommate
• College or school friend
Choosing a Support Partner
Tools to identify a Support Partner
Among others, a Support Partner can be a:
11 Choosing a Support Partner
Write your list here:
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Things to Think about before ChoosingYou now have an idea of who may be a good
Support Partner. Next, you can start thinking
about where you need support. You may need
emotional support or maybe you need practical
support. Thinking about what kind of support
you need will help you choose the right Support
Partner. Also, it is important to make sure that
you choose someone who has enough time to
help you. Avoid choosing someone who travels
too often and won’t always be reachable.
Choosing a Support PartnerChoosing a Support Partner
After you’ve made a list, fill in this chart to narrow
down the people you know. Split them up based
on their special skills and personalities. Fill in
each part of this chart with the first few people
that come to mind. Then, check if someone’s name
comes up more than once. He or she could be a
great choice for a Support Partner.
People I feel comfortable being honest with:
People who are patient and understanding:
People who will not judge me:
People who I trust to keep my feelings private:
Potential Support Partners
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15 Choosing a Support Partner
Don’t be nervous. There will always be people willing to support you.
If you’re not sure what type of help you need, you
might want to ask yourself these questions:What if You can’t Think of Someone or You are Worried About “Bothering” People? Don’t be nervous. There will always be people
willing to support you; just open up your search.
Take another look at your list and think about
looking for support in unlikely places:
• Think about contacting local depression support groups. Check the “Shared Guidebook” for resources.
• Can your spiritual leader suggest anyone?
• What about asking your main doctor for some suggestions?
1. Do you feel lonely a lot? Y N
2. Do you hide your feelings and emotions? Y N
3. Do you wish you had someone to talk to about your feelings, but think no one will care or understand? Y N
4. Are you afraid to tell people that you have an illness and need someone you can be yourself with? Y N
If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you may
need a Support Partner who can be there for you emotionally.
1. Do you feel as though the stresses and chores
of everyday life are too much to handle? Y N
2. Are you forgetting to do things at home or at work? Y N
3. Do you feel like you are not giving your children enough attention and everyday help? Y N
If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you may need a Support Partner who can provide practical help with errands or housekeeping.
Questions Set 1:
Questions Set 2:
16Choosing a Support Partner
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Managing Your Depression
Asking for Support
STEP 3: Asking for Support
You’ve found someone who may be able to support you. Now, it is time to ask for help. The truth is, we all
need a little help once in a while. You may be
surprised to learn that many people you know
will be happy to help you — some of them may
have also had depression or know others who
have it. Remember, depression is an illness.
It may not go away without a care plan which
may include support of family or friends. May-
be the thought of asking for support scares
you. If so, you can ask your potential Support
Partner to review the guidebooks with you as a
first step.
How to ask for SupportIf you’re not sure how to begin, these might be
some ways to start the conversation:
• “You know … I just got tired of feeling
Asking for Support 18
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Look at their honesty as a sign of respect for you. Please understand that “no” was probably very hard for them to say.
Asking for Support Asking for Support
Each person experiences
depression differently
and may need support
in different ways.
down all the time. I found a doctor who is helping me to live the life I really want. I’d like to tell you about it …”
• “Like a lot of other people, I have down days, but I’m learning that I have depression and I need to work on my wellness a bit more than others …”
• “I’m thinking of going to see a doctor because I’m not feeling like myself, and I would like to tell you about it …”
• “I feel so lonely and overwhelmed lately. I think I need someone to talk to …”
• “I know our relationship has been tense lately and …”
• “My doctor says I have depression. I’m get-ting treatment to help me feel better, but I think I will need support in the meantime …”
Do You Need More than One Support Partner? Each person experiences depression differently
and may need support in different ways. If you
think you need a lot of support, you may want
more than one Support Partner. If your first
choice does not have a lot of free time, you might
also want to find extra Support Partners. It may
be good to have someone around to help with
everyday chores. It may be useful to have
people who will lighten your load for a little
while so you can focus on feeling better.
What if Someone Says “No?” Some people may not be able to give you the
time you need. Maybe they have work, family
and other responsibilities. They may feel they
can’t devote enough time to be a good Sup-
port Partner. This does not mean they don’t
care about you; it just means they can’t take
on the extra responsibility right now. Look
at their honesty as a sign of respect for you.
Please understand that “no” was probably
very hard for them to say.
Remember, we can’t know everything about
each other’s lives. Be nice to them and stay
open to having a relationship with them.
Down the road, times may be better for both
of you. As a next step, look back at your list of
possible Support Partners to choose some-
one else.
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Managing Your Depression
Building a Partnership
STEP 4:Building a Partnership
Learning about Depression Together
While talking honestly with your Sup-port Partner(s) about your feelings, you may run into misunderstandings
or stereotypes. It is important to remember that
depression is a real illness of the mind and body and
most people need treatment to get better.
There are many ways for you and your Support Part-
ner to learn about the illness. For more informa-
tion, go to www.SupportPartnersProgram.com. You
can also check the Shared Guidebook for additional
resources. You may also want to ask your Support
Partner to go to a doctor visit with you. This can give
them a chance to get some advice on how they can
help you. It can also be a good time to discuss any of
their fears or concerns with your doctor.
Building a Partnership 22
Managing Your DepressionManaging Your Depression
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Be very specific
about the things you would like help with.
Also let them know
the things you can
handle on your own.
Building a Partnership
How can Your Support Partner Help You?Now that you have started a conversation about
depression with your Support Partner, you can
start to figure out how they can best help you.
Since you’ve already thought about the support
you need — practical and/or emotional — you
can be open and clear about your needs. Be
very specific about the things you would like
help with. Also let them know the things you can
handle on your own. This will help your Support
Partner. It will set clear boundaries for your
future partnership.
These are some examples of emotional and
practical support to consider. Use the extra
space to note your specific needs.
• Call me every night to check in
• Get together with me once a week
• Help me spot my depression signs and the things that
set them off
• Cheer me on to stick with my care plan
• Help me follow my progress
• Help me set real short-term goals, if suggested by
my doctor
• Push me to stay as active as possible
Emotional vs. Practical Support
Emotional Support:
•
•
•
•
•
•
23 Building a Partnership
Managing Your Depression
25 26
• Help me make an appointment with my doctor
• Drive me to doctors appointments
• Help me pick my kids up from school or after-school activities
• Help me with health care paperwork
• Help me cook dinner once in a while
• Run errands with me
• Arrange a time to walk or go to the gym with me
• Make a date to go to the movies with me
Practical vs. Emotional Support
Practical Support:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Building a Partnership Building a Partnership 26
Setting Future GoalsHaving a Support Partner to help with everyday
tasks can be a big help. Sharing this load will let you
focus on getting well. However, you and your Sup-
port Partner need to make a plan that will help you
eventually take over these tasks. Working toward,
and reaching each goal, can help you on the road to
recovery.
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Managing Your Depression
Managing Your Depression
STEP 5: Managing Your Depression
Seeking Help from a Doctor
If you haven’t already, contact a doctor to talk about your depression. Include your Support Partner in this process. If you need to, ask your
Support Partner to help you find a doctor. You can
also ask them to go to an appointment with you. For
more information on how to find a doctor, check the
Shared Guidebook.
Mapping out a Care PlanOne thing you can do with your Support Partner is
to decide on a care plan together. You can then work
together to reach care goals. The first step for doing
this is to create a care plan.
Your Support Partner can help you figure out your
care plan. They can also cheer you on along the
way. But, only you can choose your goals and work
to reach them. To create a care plan, look at the
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29 30
One of the best things you can do with your Support Partner is to decide on a plan together. You can then work together to reach care goals. The first step for doing this is to create a care plan.
thoughts lead to people taking their own life.
If you ever think about ending your life, you
should seek medical help immediately. If
you can’t reach your doctor, go to the nearest
emergency room. You can call 911 or the Na-
tional Suicide Prevention Hotline, 1-800-SUI-
CIDE. Help is available day or night.
There may be times when your symptoms get
worse. These may be times when you start to
think about taking your own life. Contact your
doctor immediately if you feel your depression
symptoms are getting worse. Also, call right
away if you begin to think of suicide. Contact
your doctor immediately if you see any unusual
changes in your behavior or if you have other
concerns. Never wait to get in touch with your
doctor if you are worried.
Look at the Shared Guidebook to learn more
about where to find help from support groups,
as well as mental health agencies.
Holding the HopeFeeling more like yourself can take time. Even
when you are taking a medicine, going to talk
Shared Guidebook. It will show you ways to get
started and specific examples. It can also help
you find a doctor and decide on a long-term care
plan.
Depression and SuicideAs someone with depression, it is important that
you understand the relationship between the
illness and suicide. Suicide is when someone
takes their own life. Not all people with depres-
sion think about suicide. Also, not all suicidal
A care plan can help you:
• Decide on goals (if goal-setting is approved by your doctor)
• Figure out things or specific times that may cause your depression to get worse
• Outline a care plan that can be used to move beyond the illness
• Make a list of early signs that may mean that depression is coming back
Mapping out a care plan
Managing Your Depression Managing Your Depression
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Feeling more like your-
self can take time. This
is true even when you
are taking a medicine,
going to talk therapy or
both.
therapy or both. There may be days when you
feel that getting well is impossible. This is not
unusual. Your Support Partner can help you
to not lose hope. Ask your Support Partner to
remind you that things will get better. Ask them
to remind you to stick with your care plan. Also,
make sure to talk with your doctor if you’re not
getting better.
Keeping a Diary It is important that you stick with the care plan
your doctor recommends. You should also keep
track of how the plan is working. One way to do
this is to keep a diary. If you don’t feel up to it,
your Support Partner may be able do this with
you. You can take it over later, when you begin to
feel better.
If you share your diary with your Support Partner,
they can cheer you on as you start to feel better.
Your Support Partner can also watch for signs
that your symptoms may be coming back. Think
about your depression symptoms as you and your
Support Partner write in your diary. Write as little
or as much as you want, which could include
things like:
• How did you sleep last night?
• Did you feel hopeless at any point today?
• Did anything special occur today that was hard to deal with?
• How was your energy level?
• Did you feel overwhelmed?
• Did you have any pain?
• What were some things you just couldn’t deal with doing today?
• What do you wish you had the energy for/interest in today?
Remember to keep track of the progress you
Managing Your Depression Managing Your Depression
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Remember to keep
track of the progress you
have made. Also pay
attention to the things that show
that you are getting back
to being yourself,
such as what things were you able to
do today?
have made. Also pay attention to the things that
show that may show you are getting back to be-
ing yourself, such as:
• Did you eat well today?
• What things were you able to do today?
• Did you go to therapy/take your medicine today?
• What did you feel you were able to get done today?
• What did you do today that you wouldn’t have done before?
Setting GoalsOnce you start to feel a little better, setting
goals can be an important part of getting well.
But, you should first make sure your doctor says
it is okay to set goals. Your Support Partner can
help you remember things you used to enjoy or
do well. With time and work, you can enjoy these
things again. Share your list with your Support
Partner so they can cheer you on as you reach
your goals.
These goals will be very personal, but here are
some ideas to start you off:
Taking Care of Yourself You wouldn’t run a race the day after having surgery.
Getting better from depression can also take time.
Remember, your Support Partner is there to help
you, but you need to take care of yourself, as well.
Take care of yourself by eating well, getting enough
rest and getting exercise. Talk to your doctor before
starting an exercise plan. Remember to think posi-
tively and let go of negative thoughts.
Managing Your Depression Managing Your Depression
I would like to:
• Get my garden looking good again
• Have a day when I don’t feel overwhelmed at work
• Meet with my book club again
• Have my family over for a Sunday barbecue
• Get back into my weekly bike ride
• Meet friends for lunch
• Join the bowling league again
Potential Goals:
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