A View From the Top Script

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A View From The Top Script - DialogueTranscript

A View From The Top Script

DONNA:Every story starts somewhere.

And mine begins in a small town

called Silver Springs, Nevada.

My mother was an ex -show girl.

Emphasis on the "ex. "

There's my father.

He came by for the beer.

Whoa. Oh, my God.Look at this.

Oh, my God!

Happy birthday, Donna

Whoa, whoa

I didn't get to blow outmy candles.



But I do remember my wish.

That I could get as far away

from Silver Springsas possible.

Well, that didn't happen.

Come on, sweetie.

My mom, always optimistic,

was on her fourthhusband, Pete.

Come on, baby.Come on.

RODNEY:Ugh. What happened?

Rodney. His son.

No need for DNA testingon that one.

I still had my mindon a different life

beyond Silver Springs.



Then I met Tommy,the high school quarterback.

Boy, was he a great kisser.

Together, I knewwe were going places.

He went as far asassistant manager at Big Lots

and used his pull to get me ajob in the luggage department.

This is the best bagmoney can buy. Bar none.

You've got the nylon twillwith DuPont protective coating.

This is the bag you usewhen you fly?

Well...

I've actually never beenon an airplane,

but if I ever get to go on one,

this thing is gonna follow mearound like my own little dog.

My birthday came,



and I didn't have to makethe same old wish.

Tommy and I had foundour way out.

Hey. I caught you.

Donna. Hey.

I thought you didn't get offtill : .

I got Becky to cover for me.

Oh.

Oh!

Now that you're here...

Let me have the card.

No, no.It's silly.

Just forget about it.It's actually kind of corny.

Hey, I brought that dressthat you like.

Want to watch me change?



-No, hey, Donna.-Ah!

Don't read that.

Come on.I like things that are corny.

You're breaking up with me?

In a birthday card?

Why?

Well, they don't makebreaking-up cards.

[ Gasps ]I thought that...

We had plans.

[ Sighs, groans ]

Donna, don't take thisthe wrong way.

I decided to takesomebody else to Tucson.

Somebody else?

Yeah.



Linda from Lawn Chairs.

Actually, it's Brenda

in Barbecues.

Look, Donna,you're a great girl.

Really, you are.

But with this promotionand transfer to Tucson,

I just need toshake things up a bit.

Business is business.

Come on, Donna.Face it.

You're a small -town girl.

You belong here.

ANNOUNCER: We're backwith more "Pure Oxygen,"

talking to Sally Weston.

Can you tell our viewers

the moment you decided





From a little girlin West Texas

to the world's most famousflight attendant.

Author of "My Life in the Sky."Can we get a shot of that?

Motivational speaker.

I'm curious.Why'd you pick flying?

No matter how much I lovethat sleepy little town,

none of my dreamswere waiting down there.

They were waiting up there.

And frankly, people,no matter where you're from,

no matter who peoplethink you are,

you can be whatever you want.

But you got to start right now.

Right this second, in fact.



But how?

You should startby buying my book.

I agree.But you can't have my copy.

"My Life in the Sky."

We'll be right backwith more "Pure Oxygen."

[ Tires screech ]

I took Sally's advice.

Sure, Sierra Airlines wasn'tthe biggest and the best.

It was the smallestand the absolute worst.

But everybodyhas to start somewhere.

Donna, why do you want to bea stewardess?

Well, for allthe travel opportunities.

And for the excitement.



We're a budget airline.We fly from Laughlin to Fresno.

Once a week to Bakersfield.

We got five planes.We fly gamblers and drunks.

Right.

I want to providethose gamblers and drunks

with the best servicein the sky.

You're gonna lovethe uniform.

Our motto is "Big hair,short skirts,

and service with a smile."

Sir, please fastenyour seat belt.

[ Toilet flushes ]

You nervous?

I'm Sherry.

Donna.



Welcome to Sierra.

As much as you can today,

sweetie, just stick by me.

I hear we're full,but it's a piece of cake.

Okay.

Okay, the overhead bins areclosed and the cabin is secure.

Good job.I'll do the safety.

Go tell the captain we're ready.

Okay.

Welcome aboard Sierra Airlinesflight to Fresno.

There are three emergency exits.

Captain, we are --

[ Snoring ]

Captain?

Is he all right?



Don't worry about him.

He'll be fine.

I'll poke him with a stick,and he'll get at it.

If not, I'll give himhis blanky and...

take matters into my own hands.

Steve.Steve Bench.

Call me Copilot Steve.

I'm Donna Jensen.

I'm a trainee.

You nervous, Donna?

Nah.

Well, yeah.A little bit.

Well, don't worry.

I've had only two near -missesand a couple of minor crashes.



I chalk it up to experience,and I'm feeling better about it.

I'm joking.

I knew that.

If there's anything I can do,you come up here. Okay?

Put your hands on your knees.

They don't want themflailing about if we crash.

I'm gonna teach you

All about lovin'

Sit yourself downand take a seat

All you gotta dois repeat after me

A-B-C

Easy as - -

As simple as do -re-mi

A-B-C



- - baby,you and me, girl

It's just like a roller coaster.

You ever beenon a plane before?

Well, yeah.

I mean, you know.

Sometimes it helpsif you don't look down.

[ Breathing heavily ]I'm doing great.

[ Whirring loudly ]

Shit!

-It's just the wheels.-We lost the wheels?

No, Donna. Relax.

[ Breathing heavily ]I am relaxed!

[ Whimpers ]

Oh! Oh!





It wasn't exactlya frozen lake up there.

Turbulence is tough.

You'll get the hang of it.

Am I gonna get fired?

-I'm gonna get fired.-Nobody's getting fired.

Really.You're gonna be a pro.

You're going places.

You think?

I'm a pilot. It's my job to knowwhere people are going.

One for you.

Put your seatin the upright position.

Ma'am, would you putyour tray table up?

To fasten your seat belt,insert the metal fitting.

Before long, I was flyingfull-speed ahead.



I even got my own trainee.Christine.

There wasn't a lot to do

on weekends.

There was always tanningat Lake Havasu.

I can't believe your boyfriendowns this whole houseboat.

If you don't marry him,I am gonna kill you.

First of all, sweetie,Herb ain't asked me.

Oh, my God!

What's wrong?

[ Laughs ]My clasp broke.

There's some safety pins ina shoebox in the bedroom closet.

CHRlSTlNE:Go topless.

You are a very badinfluence on me.

Thank you.



[ Horn honks ]

[ Horn honking ]

SHERRY: Mmm -mmm.Lake Patrol at : .

Hey, Sherry.Herb around?

Don't know.Might be inside.

What'd he do?Take a leak in the lake?

The guy ran off with myflare gun and never returned it.

Well, you have my permission

to teach that man a lesson.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, Ted, this is Christine.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Hey, let me know if you needany backup.

I might take you up on that.



[ Clattering ]

-[ Grunts ] Freeze!-[ Screams ]

I am so sorry.

I thought you were Herb.

Do I look like a Herb?

No, ma'am.You look nothing like a Herb.

I'd appreciate it

if you could find itin your heart to forgive me.

It's all right.

Who are you, anyway?

I'm no one.I mean I'm Ted.

My name's Ted.

Well, Ted, I'm Donna.You can uncover your eyes now.

It's nice to meet you, Donna.







[ Engine shuts off ]

Beautiful, huh?

Thank you.

It really is.

Ted, would you oil my back?

Okay. Yeah.

-Thank you.-Sure.

So, how'd you becomean officer of the law?

Oh, I'm not.

I'm a student.A law student.

Or I was.At Ohio State.

My family's from Cleveland.

Was?

Yeah, I quit my final semester.



And then I went bumming aroundfor a few months.

And now I'm here for a while.

Yeah, I quit high sc hool.

Would you domy shoulders for me?

Why'd you quit?

-Well, I was...-I don't...

Everything was on track.

I was on my way to beinga big-shot attorney.

I had a hot law firmall lined up.

And then I thought,"What am I doing?

Is this what I want?"

My whole life was overbefore it had begun.

I wanted to travel.





I think I need to takea flea dip.

[ Laughter ]

We better go.

Don't forget you wanted to goto the gift shop

and get a Toblerone.

Right.

You know what?

What?

We are as good as they are.

-We are?-We are?

We don't have to spend our lives

working at Sierrafor some weaselly ex -bookie.

You know,I once worked for Pan Am.

Three whole months.







familiarity withthe necessary functions

to be performed in --"

Oh, my God.

You dot your l'swith little hearts?

That's so cute.

Yeah, well,it's my trademark.

That and my hickeys.

Well, a girl's got to havea skill.

I was excited to be interviewedby the legendary John Whitney.

He had been with Royaltya long time.

Hi.

I'm John Whitney.

Maybe a little too long.

This one.

Head of the Royalty flight -



attendant trainee program.

T ell me, why do you want to workfor Royalty Airlines?

I believe that I have a lotto offer your airline.

Because the planes are...

They're so much bigger.

Oh. My gum.

Why do you want to workfor Royalty Airlines?

Oh, well...

[ Chuckles ]

I've got a lot of answers.

I just got to thinkof the right one.

Take your time.Collect. Gather. Go.

Because I'm organizedand efficient.

I worked for Sierra Airlines,you know.

I put that down there.



Yeah, right above Hooters.

Hooters.

Right. Oh, yes.

If there is a task,I will not stop

until I have completed itperfectly.

Did I say "organized"?

-Got a question for you.-Okay.

What's your tolerance levelfor pain?

Physical pain.

Like, sexual pain?

Would you consider yourselfa people person?

Oh, definitely.Big people person.

-Not just big people.-Not just giants.



-You got it.-Okay.

To learn and to follow through

with all the tasks.

I'm just gonna say a few words.

-Okay.-Okay.

Didgeridoo.

Scooby Doo -Doo.

Tectonic plates.

Tectonic plates.

Dishware.

-Do you handle surprises well?-[ Both laugh ]

Do you handle surprises well?

[ Both laugh ]

I scared you, didn't l?

No, no.



It has always been my dreamto work for the best.

And I think you guysare the best.

That's just terrific.

You're terrific, how about?

No. This one.

It's called strabismus.

There's no businesslike "strobusiness."

I get to make jokes.

Does anything frighten you?

Oh, you mean the eye?

I didn't notice.

Oh, my God.

You're kidding.

That's the waythe cookie crumbles.

But this is so unfair.



You're a better flight attendantthan we'll ever be.

I'll be fine.

I been thinking aboutquitting anyway.

I'm sure gonna miss you guys.

We're gonna miss you, too.

Study hard.And make me proud.

Congratulationsto Donna Jensen.

Getting into

the Royalty Learning Center.

[ Sighs ]I'm nervous.

People say it's really hard.

A lot of people don't make itpast the first two weeks.

I don't want to be one of them.

Are you kidding me?





Oh, you know, we're gonna havea little goodbye party

Friday nightfrom : to whenever.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm probablynot gonna make it.

Why not?

I can be happy for youthat you're leaving for an hour.

But : till whenever,the smile won't last.

Yeah, our timing iskind of terrible, huh?

I had a really good time,and I was hoping you'd be a jerk

so I wouldn't feel like I wasmissing out by moving to Texas.

Well, I'm parked out there.

Yeah, I'm...

Right.

So...





Now take off.[ Laughs ]

-Hi.

-Hi.

I'm John Whitney.

Head of the Royalty flight -attendant trainee program.

Welcome andcongratulations, Dana.

It's Donna.

Sure. Okay.

Good to see you, Mary.

It's Christine, actually.

Sure. Okay. Great.

What we have here is yourRoyalty Airlines amenities kit

containing airport codesand regulation manuals,

your registration packet,campus rules,

and information



about our mentor program.

Yeah.

You two will be stayingin dorm C.

That's a fun one. Yeah.Questions?

None. Good.

All right.Take off.

-Hi.-Hi, Cindy.

-Oh, my God.-Janette.

Sure. Okay.

Sally Weston is a mentor?

Sally Weston!

So, who is thisSally Weston person, anyway?

Who is Sally Weston?

Only the authorof "My Life in the Sky."



Hmm.

Sally Weston represents

an ideal

of poise and beautyand accomplishment

that every flight attendantshould strive to achieve.

Oh, I like her hair.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

We'd love to.

Oh, my God.

Would you like to ridein my beautiful balloon?

Would you like to ridein my beautiful balloon?

We could floatamong the stars together

You and I



For we can fly

Up-up and away

Howdy!Welcome aboard!

ALL: Howdy!

More white wine, girls?

ALL: Yes, please.

Oh, I'm sorry.How about you, Randy?

Just consider meone of the girls, Mr. W.

This is a really big houseyou have, Mrs. Weston.

Thank you.Jack built it.

Along with the r estof Rancho Esmeralda community.

-The whole thing?-With my bare hands.

How did you all meet?





Oh, it was wonderful.

The exotic cities.

Yeah, I hear all thoseEurope guys are uncircumcised.

Nope. Not all.

So, is it difficult to getthose international routes?

-You have to have seniority.-Should I apply now?

And even then, you have tospeak several languages

and serve impeccably.

Oh, but it was worth it.It was different then.

People dressed for flights.

It was like every nightgoing to the opera.

Every night was...

Magic.

-Oh!





I wanted Paris.First-class international.

And nothing less.

So today this is all mine.

You're just like me, Donna.

My old uniform.

Oh, that is so beautiful.

Well, of course it is.We're Royalty.

Oh, it suits you.

Feel the fabric.

It's so...

Soft?

And luxurious?

Paris.First-class international.

Donna, say it.

Paris.



First-class international.

It's the only roadto happiness.


It's your destiny.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Ten-hut!

At ease.[ Chuckles ]

Welcome aboard.

You should all be very,

very proud.

The simple factthat you're here

at the Royalty Learning Center

means you've joineda very special family.

The Royal...ty family.

Our first goalhere at Royalty Airlines



is to bring back the styleand the glamour

to the art of flying.

In the coming weeks,I'll impart to you

the necessary hands -on training

for you to functionat the highest level.

Up there.

But don't expect an easy road.

[ Laughing ]No, no, no.

An easy road -- comma --don't expect one.

I will not hold your hand.I'm not even gonna touch it.

[ Laughter ]

Now, what I want all of youto do is to stand up.

Come on. Let's go.Stand up.



And I want you to lookunderneath your seat. Go ahead.

Taped to the bottom,

each of you will find a $ bill.

Now, what did we learnfrom this exercise?

We learned you have to get offyour ass to make a buck.

[ Laughter ]

Down.

[ Chuckling ]Thank you.

Now, we don't actually learnto make bucks here,

but we do learnto treat our passengers...

...Iike royalty.

Yeah.

So, shall we get started?

[ Buzzer ]

There's an oxygen mask



up above you...

ALL:On a hidden shelf.

Before helping the peoplewho love you,

put it on yourself.

-Excuse me, miss.-Yes?

This is first class.

I want my hand towels.I want my little booties.

And I want my warm nuts!

Warm nuts.Here you go.

You call these warm nuts?

I've felt warmer nutson a polar bear!

-Stop it!-[ Woman gasps ]

No.

What did we learn here?



Upon encountering a DP,or a disgruntled passenger,

take the following steps.

"A" -- Listen.

Two -- Acknowledge.

And "C" -- Explain.

And on a more personal note,

I have actually felta polar bear's nuts. Yeah.

Quite toasty warm.

[ Buzzer ]

Get those masks on!

Louder!

[ Muffled ] There'san oxygen mask up above you

on a hidden shelf.

Before helping the peoplewho love you...



JOHN:We learned to keep our heads,

to stay calm, and to not get

freaked out, okay?

Just rememberthe H.A.L.T. principle.

Disgruntled passengers arehungry, angry, lonely, tired,

and have a skewed visionof the world.

Okay.So that's H.A.L.T.S.

Hungry, angry, lonely, tired,skewed vision.

H.A.L.T.S.V.W.

Go!

"Asses the window --"

Okay. Stop.

CHRlSTlNE: What?

It's assess the window.Not "asses" the window.



You put the wrong em-phasison the wrong syl -lable.

...with a skewed world view,

so really,it's V.I.C.T.I.M.S.W.V.

But you get my point.

Assess the window!Is it good to go?

Drop! Drop!

Remove your shoes!Don't take anything with you!

Whoa! Yes.

Eleven seconds!The trainee record!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Mumbling ]

What's the matter?

Who am I kidding?I'm never gonna fly a .

Headed rightfor Royalty Express.



Probably wind up in Cleveland.

Christine, stop being so hard

on yourself.

-You just have to concentrate.-That's easy for you to say.

You're headed for New Yorkand London.

I am not smarter than you, okay?

Who cares, anyway,what to do in a water landing?

They don't landin the damn water.

They crash.

People always say thateveryone's good at something.

That everyone hassome sort of hidden skill.

What if I don't?

What if there's nothingthat I'm good at?

What about your hickeys?



Yeah.

Oh. Come on.

Would you stopbeating yourself up?

You are gonna get through this.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Dry those little eyes.

Where'd you get these?

Oh, from Sally Weston's house.

There's a whole bunch of them.Aren't they cool?

You stole them?

No.They're guest soap.

We were guests.

They were there for us.

Yeah, to use, you know?Not to take.



Come on.Everybody does it.

It's no big deal.

Excuse me.Didn't you read chapter ?

-Chapter .-Employment and ethics.

If you get caughtstealing anything,

you will get fired like that.

You're not mad at me, are you?

No.

Yes!

[ Bell rings ]

Time's up.

Pencils down.Books closed.

Remember to writeyour identification number

on the front of the exam bookletand pass it forward.



So, how'd you do?

New York, here I come.

[ Applause ]

SALLY:Thank you.

Thanks so much for listening.Thank you.

Can I get my picture with you?

I would love that.Where do you want to do it?

-Okay.-Can you get the "R" in it?

Say "Royalty."

Repeat after me.First-class international.

DONNA:First-class international.

WOMAN: Cincinnati.That's not that bad.

MAN:Miami! I got Miami!



Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!I can't believe it!

[ Cheering, laughter ]

Hey, Donna!

I got New York.[ Laughs ]

There must be some mistake.

Ms. Jensen, try and take thisnews with the poise and grace

that one associateswith Royalty Airlines.

We expect our employees tobehave in a professional manner

and to handle setbackswith integrity.

Screw integrity!

I am not going back to commuter!

DONNA:Oh, my God.

I can't believe



this is happening.

This cannot be happening.

JOHN: Royalty Express,although commuter,

is still a memberof the Royalty family, okay?

It's not my destiny.

I want my destiny.

Well, I'm sorry.

But you'll be eligibleto reapply after one year.

One year?

I was the best in my class.You were there.

I've seen it a hundred times.

You peaked too soon.

I don't understand.

How do I explain this?

You're what we



in the trainee business call

a "peak-too-sooner."

Yeah.

It happens.

I aced that test.I want to see it.

-That's not procedure.-Call Sally Weston.

-She'll tell you.-Sally Weston.

Although an excellent mentor,

she has no authority

in these matters.

-That is bullshit.-Want to know what's bullshit?

Eye exams!That's what's bullshit!

I wanted my destiny, too,you know!

I wanted to bea flight attendant, but no!

There's a shit stick out there



called procedure, Ms. Jensen!

And I'm here to tell you

that everyone gets hitwith the shit stick!

Eye exam! Eye exam!Eye exam!

[ Breathing heavily ]

Forgive me.[ Chuckles ]

Dr. Tim at the center sayswhen I get like this,

I need to refocus.

So just give me a second, okay?

[ Bell rings ]

[ Chanting softly ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Better. Okay.

Look, you can flyRoyalty Express for a year,



or you can leave the airline.

Where am I going?

Let me have a look here.

Welcome to ClevelandHopkins lnternational Airport.

Remain seated until the aircrafthas come to a complete stop

and the captain has turned offthe "fasten seat belt" sign.

We know you have a choicewhen you travel.

We thank you for choosingRoyalty Express.

I don't know if I mentioned it.I'm glad I'm working with you.

In Cleveland!Don't you love it?

Terminal Tower.Lake Erie.

It's like Paris,except everybody speaks English

and they're poundsoverweight.



We are gonna look so thin.

WOMAN: When you meet someonein the daytime,

you can greet them with"Bonjour!"

DONNA: Bonjour!

-Bonjour!-Bonjour!

If you are talking to a man,you usually add "monsieur. "

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour, monsieur.

-Bonjour, monsieur.-Bonjour, monsieur.

Good afternoon.

Welcome aboardRoyalty Express flight .

Two in the rearand two in the front.

-Cheese sandwich for you?-Thanks.



Cheese.

We have one cheese left.

-Bologna or cheese?-Whatever.

Can I take this chair?

Sure.

-Hey!-What?

You told me to take it.

Ted!

Hey, Donna.

Oh, my God!

I'm great.

Oh. You didn't ask mehow I was.

No, but now that you told me.

What are you doingin Cleveland?

I live here.



Around the corner. Yeah.

This is Royalty's hub.

Well, express.

You're kidding.

MARY: Ted.

Oh, one sec.

That's my partner, Mary.

Hello.

Hi.

Wow.

She's pretty.

Oh, no.My school partner.

Oh.

I'm in law school.

Oh, my God!





So please don't tell anybodyI told you.

I promise.

Okay, here's how I look at it.

Cleveland is like thisgreat, big, giant waiting room.

All we have to dois put in our ye ar

and somebody's gonna callour name.

Cleveland's like this great,big dentist's office,

and we're next on the list.

Exactly.

Now all we have to do

is think about somethingto occupy our time.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

For once in my life,I have someone who needs me



Someone I've needed so long

For once, unafraid,I can go where life leads me

SomehowI know I'll be strong

For once, I can touch

What my heartused to dream of

Sometimes, just whenyou brace yourself

for a really bumpy flight,

it's amazing how the skies

can suddenly clear.

But between my busy schedule

and the extra job Ted tookto pay for school,

I spent too many nightsordering pizza

and watching TNT.

[ Knock on door ]



Just a minute.

Small cheese pizzawith everything.

$ even.

Just call me a suckerfor a man in uniform.

I cannot believewe got this route.

Oh, my God.A real business class?

[ Laughs ]

And guess what I get to doin half an hour.

-Bake cookies.-Oh, my God.

You are so notRoyalty Express material.

I can't believe on a testyou're as bad as me.

You studied like crazy.

Get out of here.



The more I thinkabout that test,

the more convinced I amthat something got screwed up.

I might hire a lawyerto check into it.

Hey, you could help me outwith that.

I'm not a lawyer.

Well, you're gonna be.

You think so, huh?

Mm-hmm.

How is it thatyou believe in me so much?

-Somebody's got to.-[ Chuckles ]

Check out B.

Isn't he cute?

Aside from the headphone hair.

When I asked him to put his trayin its upright position,



he said, "That too ?"

I mean, hello.

And those arms.My God.

He's like somethingout of "Men's Health."

Well, I'll root for youeven though it's against policy.

You rat me out and I'll stopletting you do my paperwork.

All I want is a littleof what you've got with Ted.

Oh, God.

He is great.

Did I tell you he wants me tomeet his family for Christmas?

And that's bad news why?

For me, anything that everhas to do with family

is always bad news.

Please.Don't make me cry.



The thing is, Randy,I've always been this girl

from Silver Springsthat everybody's said,

"You're never gonna do anything,never gonna get out of here."

I just worry thatif I fall in love with Ted,

what's gonna happen

to everything I've workedso hard for?

Okay. Fine.Don't fall in love with him.

That's kind of whyI'm having the problem.

It just takes willpower.

You didn't fall in lovewith me, did you?

You're gay.

But it still took willpower,didn't it?

Thanks, Donna.









Well, you survived your firstStewart family Christmas.

It was good.

I never knew a familycould be like that.

No fighting.No yelling.

Normally, that "everyonedressing the same" thing

would kind of freak me out.

But I even likethat dorky red sweater.

Is that all that's going on

in that head of yours?

I'm just not used to all that,you know?

Dan.

Hi, Donna.How's life treating you?

All right. I want to geta confirmation for tomorrow.

Sure.



[ Typing ]

We got you going to Pittsburgh

on flight at .

Any chance of that Dallas routeopening up?

Let me have a look.

Sorry.Nothing yet.

All right.Well, thank you.

Have a good trip, Donna.

Oh, my God.Christine?

Donna!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

What are you doingin Cleveland?

My New York -L.A. flight hadmechanical problems,



so they dumped us herefor the night.

Oh, right.

God.Look at your hair.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I'm going fora more classic look.

Goes better with Chanel.

Right.

I have the sweetest littleapartment on West rd Street.

Oh, you would beso proud of me.

You know what, Ted?

If it wasn't for Donna,

I would've never made itthrough basic training.

Oh, now,that's not really true.

It is.



Actually, just last week,

I was thinking about

how well you trained me.

I was on the New York -to-Chicagoflight, right?

This guy gets on.He has this huge musical case.

He's trying to stuff itinto the overhead compartment.

Clearly the thing is too big.He refuses to check it.

So I thought, "What wouldDonna do right now?"

So I politely said to him,

"Either you check itor you deplane."

That's not what I would do.

What do you mean?

Well, you must,as a flight attendant,

offer the option of buyinganother seat at half price



for that oversized item.

It's section .

of the manual.

Well, I can't remembereverything.

[ Laughs ]

But you should'veremembered that one.

It was the last questionon our exam.

Say, Christine, do you haveany of those little wings?

My nephew's been begging me

for some.

They don't have themon express.

Let me look.

Let's seewhat we've got in here.

Whoa.[ Clears throat ]

Oh, I love these.



Love it, love it.

I have so much garbage in here.

Ah. Here we go.

Future pilot.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

There.

We could do shotsif you want to.

Let's do shots.

Want to?

SALLY: Paris.First-class international.


[ Airplane engines roaring ]

I think I'm doing very wellat express.



But I just can'tstop thinking there was

some kind of mix -up

with my test.

Some kindof computer malfunction.

Those things mess up.

They lose luggage or send bagsto the wrong city.

I'm afraid that's impossible.

The tests are hand -graded.

Oh, right.I forgot about that.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure there's nothingyou can do anyway.

Who saysthere is nothing I can do?

I am Sally Weston.

I invented this.

Before me, they just pointed.



True story.

Wow.

I did speak to John.

I asked himif I could see my test.

I begged him.He said no.

I asked him if you could seethe test, and he said no.

Don't you worry about John.Did you see me on "Oprah"?

I scared the hell out of thatlittle wiener Dr. Phil.

It's test .

Hello.It's Sally Weston.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

What is it, Donna?

This isn't my test.



It's my number.It's number .

But it isn't mine.

Look at those little hearts.

Time's up.Pencils down. Books closed.

Remember to writeyour identification number


So, how'd you do?

New York, here I come.

I can't believe it.

I trusted her.She was my best friend.

Oh, my God.These answers.

No wonder we sent youto express.

We were being nice.

I can't believeshe'd steal my test!



Wait a minute.

That night I had you kidsover for dinner,

someone took my airplane soaps.

Oh, my God.

She is probablystealing us blind.

Hell, I'll bet she's gota whole closetful

of airline property.

Headsets. Booze.Kosher meals.

There's two thingswe've got to do.

We got to get you retested.There's a group next week.

If you do as well a s I think,we can reassign you right away.

How soon can you leaveCleveland?

I'd just have to talk to Ted.



Who's Ted?

This really great guythat I'm seeing.

Oh.

Well, I'm afraid you've gota decision to make.

Yeah.

Well, what would you do?

Well, I know what I did.

And so do you,if you read my book.

But, honey, it's your life.

It's your decision.

Right.

Well, I'll call you later.

I've got a flightback to Cleveland at : .

You said there were two things.

I'll take care of that.



Just skedaddle.Don't miss that flight.

Okay. Thanks.

WOMAN:Royalty Airlines.

Hello.Internal security, please.

MAN:Security.

This is Sally Weston.

I'm calling to report a codeblue for Christine Montgomery.

Put a ghost rideron her next flight.

If you see any violations,I want that klepto picked up

as soon as the planehits pavement.

-Miss Montgomery?-Yeah?

I have to ask youto come with me.

Why? Who are you?



Royalty Security.Please step this way.

[ Horn honks ]

Hey, Jensen!

You were right.

I can't believe it.I'm top of my class.

Oh, my God.

Ted, that is so great.

So get your damn coat on,Jensen.

We're going out to celebrate.

I have to talk to you.

I flew to Dallas today.Christine stole my test.

You're kidding.

So they're gonna retest me.

Wow.That's great.



When are they doing that?

I got to leave right away.

Okay. Sure.No problem.

We'll celebratewhen you get back.

The thing is,if I do well on the test,

I might not be back.

I could get placedin New York.

That's it?We don't talk about it?

I come home.You're leaving?

Well, we've always said

that Cleveland isjust a big waiting room.

For me, the waiting room wasmy life until I met you.

I'm in love with you.



I can't let somebody tell methat I've seen enough.

Not again.

Got it.Point taken.

I hated leaving Ted.

Ted made me feellike I'd finally found home.

The problem was, I wasn'tso sure I was ready to be home.

[ Bell rings ]

Time's up.

Pencils down.Books closed.

Be sure to putyour identification number


Well, well.

Congratulations.

I just want you to know



that I was againstthis retesting at this time.

That's not procedure.

But apparently,Miss Sally Weston doesn't have

the same respect for proceduresome of us have had to.

So you'll be happy to knowyou got a perfect score.

First time in seven years.

The last time was me.

So I imagine you'll have fun.

Up there.

Living out your destiny.

Must be nice.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Mr. Whitney,I just want you to know



I couldn't have done thiswithout you.

Yeah, right.

I mean it.

You are an excellent instructor.

I am?

Yes.

That's the nicest damn thinganyone's ever said to me.

I'd say we're bothliving our destiny.

You do it, Donna Jensen.

You do it for those of usthat can't.

I will.

Thatagirl.

Now you get out of here.[ Chuckles ]

Oh, and, Donna.







-Hi.-God.

Did you hear the bad news?

What?

I got fired.

Busted for stealing.

Yeah.

So I just wanted to come hereand say goodbye.

Donna.

[ Exhales deeply ]

You know, isn't it amazing

how there was a ghost rideron my flight?

Well...

And another thing.

I just can't help wondering.



How does someone gofrom Royalty Express

to lnternational in such

a short period of time?

[ Breathes deeply ]

Excuse me, Christine.

I had you figured outfrom day one, Donna.

What did you say?

You just couldn't stand the f actthat I was prettier than you.

That I was more fun than you.

That everyone loved me.

All I didwas try to help you out.

And you stabbed me in the back.

I never stabbed youin the back, Donna.

You switched our exams.

Well, if you're gonna nitpick.



And you left me rottingin Cleveland

while you wentand dotted your l's

with those tacky, little heartsin New York City.

Someone had to put youin your place.

Little miss perfect.

"Oh, excellent, Donna.""Way to go, Donna."

"ls it hard to get internationallines, Mrs. Weston?"

Throwing yourselfall over that stupid Ted.

You know what?You make me sick.

Leave Ted out of this.

Just because you're pissed offthat he wanted me and not you.

Get your hands off me.

Oh, I'm scared, Donna.



What are you gonna do,throw one of your books at me?

Don't you walk away from me.

[ Grunting ]

Ow!

Good Lord.

Out of the way, please.

Get her leg.

[ Grunting ]

You know what?

You got that fancy uniformand that [Spits] $ haircut!

But I see right through you!

Right to the inside!

Welcome aboard.

-Champagne or caviar?-Nothing for me. Thanks.



Sir, champagne or caviar?

I'm fine.Thank you.

Would you care forsome champagne or caviar?

No, thank you.

I would like a vodkastraight up, though.

Champagne and caviar.Extra-wide seats.

And no bologna or cheese.

This was first class.

Bonne journee, madame.

[ T elephone rings ]

Hello?

Bonjour.

Donna?

I'm in Paris.

Well, good for you.



I knew you'd get there.

Can I pick 'emor can I pick 'em?

Rudolph, you're not tenderizingmeat, for God's sake!

I really wanted to saythank you.

Well, don't spend all dayon the phone.

Go out and see the city.

[ Woman singing in French ]

What was I gonna write?

"I love you but I left you"?

I'll just start with,"Paris is beautiful. "

[ Man speaking French ]

[ Speaking French ]

Miss, thank you very much.

As soon as everyone takestheir seats,





You're on for tomorrow.: a.m. Flight .

[ Beep ]

Donna, it's Joanwith Royalty lnternational.

Your schedule has been changed.

You're headed to Lisbonon flight at hours.

-You'll be back...-[ Beep ]

You'll be on flight ...

[ Beep ]

Donna, Jim Donahue.

[ Beep ]

Hi, Donna.This is Joan with Royalty.

You're flying to Stockholmvia London.

That's in two weeks.Flight with Captain Hanson.



[ Beep ]

Hi, Donna.It's Paige.

I know you just got backfrom Geneva.

How about a quick tripto Brooklyn?

We're having our Christmasopen house tonight.

Please come.It'll be fun.

Some of the other girlsare gonna be there.

Call me, okay?

Donna!

-Hi.-Hey.

I'm so glad you came.

-Thanks for having me.-Come on in.

Oh, my.That looks so good.



Thank you so much.

Donna, you got to get in thereand start mingling

with some of the straight guys.

We had them shipped in hereespecially for you

from Jim's work.

Oh, thank you.

God, you look really nice.

Are you serious?

Man, I'm so beat.I really need this rest.

Well, I think you look great.

-[ Telephone rings ]-Oh, shoot.

Can you just give themthe address?

Clinton.Clinton and Pierpont.

Hello?



Oh, Bob.It's Donna Jensen.

Oh, when do you need her?

Really? Tomorrow?

But that's Christmas Eve.

You know what?I'll take it.

Yeah, I could really usethe shift.

Christmas in Paris?It's a dream.

Okay.I'll see you there.

Was that Kim and Nancy?

Are you happy withyour long-distance carrier?

-I said you were.-Can you believe them?

I guess they just figureeveryone's home.

Will you pose for photos?



So I'm waiting by the phone

For the blessed ring

Like a holy grail

For the Fisher King

Time is ticking down

Like a metronome

Rhythm for my brain

And its ceaseless games

I never seem to play themto the beat I hear

Though my heartbeatis a beat that beats so near

So I'm changing who I am

'Cause what I am's not good

And I know you love me now

Is that Donna Jensen?[ Laughs ]

Sally!



What are you doing here?

We're creatures of habit.

Jack and l.

We have Christmas in Paris.New Year's in New York.

Wow. How exciting.

Really not.

Were you herefor Christmas, too?

Yes, I was.

Gosh.

The Champs-Elyseesand the lights.

I loved it.

Did I ever tell youabout a nasty habit

flight attendantspick up on the job?

No.

We learn to always keep smiling.



Even when we're outof Bloody Mary mix.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Do you remember that guyI was telling you about? Ted.

Of course.

Oh, I just really miss him.That's all.

Well, what's the problem?

Go fly and see him.

Well, I can't.

I took your advice,and we broke up.

My advice?

Well, sort of.

In your book, you say,

"Don't ever let anything getin the way of your destiny."

Darling, I don't think



you read carefully enough.

What I also said was thatevery pilot needs a copilot.

And it is awful niceto have someone

sitting there beside you.

Especially when you hitsome bumpy air.

Oh, I just really miss him.

I just wishI could get him back.

The last time I checked,

you were a girlwho could make things happen.

So stop feeling sorryfor yourself.

And stop worryingabout what he'll say.

You're right.

I'm gonna do it.

All right.But we have to move fast.



There is a : p.m. directfrom Paris to Chicago.

If you got the last connectionout of O'Hare,

that would put youinto Cleveland in...

BOTH:hours.

Who am I gonna getto cover my shift?

Are you kidding?

I still givethe best oxygen -mask demo

in the business.

Get going.

Pierre, I need a uniformtout de suite.

Welcome to New York, wherethe local time is : a.m.

I'd like to personally thank youfor flying with us today

and remind you that the last one





Hello?

Ted?

Hi, Mrs. Stewart.

I'm Donna.

I don't know if you remember me.I'm Ted's friend.

We got you that littleclicker thing for the TV.

Remember?

Is Ted here?

[ Exhales deeply ]

I messed up.

I really did.

I thoughtthat I was getting everything

that I wanted, and...

I thought Paris and...

first class



would make me happy.

But...it didn't.

'Cause...

if you don't have that personto come home to,

then going away is just...

I love him.

[ Sniffles ]

And I just wanted to tell himthat he made me happy.

Who are you?

You haven't heard a single wordI've said, have you?

I did.

I love you.

And I want to stay.I do.

Are you sure?

And you're gonna be happy?



Yep.

In Cleveland?

How are you gonna be happyin Cleveland?

'Cause you're in Cleveland.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Sally had said

that life is a seriesof arrivals and departures.

But I learnedthere is more than one way

to spread your wings.

DONNA:Ladies and gentlemen...

welcome to ClevelandHopkins lnternational Airport.

Keep your seat belts fasteneduntil we reach the gate.



We know you have a choicewhen you travel.

We thank you for choosingRoyalty Express.

If this is justa stopover for you,

we wish you a safe, pleasantcontinuation of your journey.

If Clevelandis your final destination...

welcome home.

Don't stop believin'

Mark.

Mark.

[ Sighs ]

That is bull S.

You want to know what's bull S?Eye exams!

You can't keep laughing at that.

That's evil.



I'll get it.

[ Muffled shouting ]

MAN: Cut!

Infinity flighttwo-niner-niner-zero,

you are cleared for takeoffon runway six.

Nine!

D'oh!

[ Bell ringing ]

I am a kitten.

I am a kitten.

I'm okay.

Got to take off.Don't I wish.

I can't do it.

I can't hear you!

ALL: Before helpi ng





[ Whistle blows ]

Okay, class,what did Randy forget?

-Mary?-Christine.

No.

Donna?

I know this.

Randy?

I forgot to buy him a drink?

[ Laughter ]

[ Whistle blows ]

And that is procedure.

Oh.

We are Royalty

Flying just as highas can be

We are Royalty



Safety is our policy

There's an oxygen mask

up above you

On a hidden shelf

Before helping the peoplewho love you

Put it on yourself

Use your seat belts,as if you don't know

Make it nice and tight

Take a look at the exits

They're up ahead

To your left and right

We are Royalty

Flying just as highas can be

We are Royalty

Safety is our policy



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