A Workshops for Parents

Working with Today’s TeenRequires Number of Skills

Important Parenting Skills

• Setting Clear Expectations• Developing Credibility • Creating Rapport with teen• Creating Cooperation with teen• Disengaging from conflicts and arguments• Balancing Love and Discipline• Providing meaningful structure and values

Important Parenting Skills

• Setting Clear Expectations• Developing Credibility • Creating Rapport with teen• Creating Cooperation with teen• Disengaging from conflicts and arguments• Balancing Love and Discipline• Providing meaningful structure and values

As Important as Parenting Skills are, they are not the main KEY

We have observed

Some Parents have poor skills but good cooperation from their teens

Other Parents have GREAT skills but poor cooperation from their teens

So, what’s the Key

Our Work with Struggling Families and Teens has shown Teens do not lack the ability to obey Parents and follow House Rules.

They are JUST NOT Motivated to do so!!!

When not properly MOTIVATED Teens often

•Struggle with Boundaries •Are Disrespectful •Are Defiant•Engage in Dangerous Behaviors•Lose interest in their Future

Even if teens are being disrespectful, uncooperative, defiant and creating chaos most Loving Parents still Provide:

Food –Shelter-Clothing-Transportation Nurturing-Emotional Support AND

UNLIMITED PRIVILEGES

Crux of the ProblemParents are Providing Teen is Providing Food Grief

Shelter Disrespect Clothing Heartbreak Transportation Frustration Nurturing Concern

Emotional Support Cost Unlimited Privileges NOTHING

Life is about Negotiation

We negotiate Everything one way or another

JobPay

VehicleHouse

Neighborhood

Relationships are Negotiated

For Example in Spousal Relationship ….. Who does the bill paying Who watches children and when Who takes out the garbage Who drives and when Where will we go and what will we do Who cooks what meals

Most Importantly within our Relationships we negotiate

-How we interact and treat each other

-How others interact and treat us

This is all about Negotiation

ExamplesA person in a relationship has a trend of talking disrespectful to another A person is inconsiderate regarding punctuality and often makes another person waitA person is inconsistent with keeping their word with anotherA person tells another what they merely want to hear rather than be fully honest

The Past = Now

Our present relationship is the summation of all our previous negotiations (big and small)

OVER TIME

Negotiations are not always madeVERBALLY

Most often the Negotiation is made by our ACTIONS

Remember the old adage“Actions speak louder than words”

If we have Negotiated a Poor Relationship with our Child

How did we do this (some examples) - Cried until we gave them what they wanted - Told them “NO” but we caved in - Did not follow through on consequences - They disobeyed but we overlooked it - They were disrespectful and we allowed it - Let them bounce between parents until they got the answer they wanted

Over Time by OUR ACTIONS

We have negotiated with our Teen the level of

• Cooperation• Respect •Willingness to obey

We Reap What We Unintentionally Sow

If you are in a Bad Relationship with your teen - What do You Do?

Start Over and Re-negotiate

It is like rebooting a computer

Time to Reboot

You are giving a lot and now is the time to start getting what you need in return!

Our goal is to show you how to reboot the system

Re-negotiate with your Teen

First You Must Understand the following:

-How did you end up in a bad negotiation-What must you be willing to do-What is your leverage to negotiate -What structure do you need

3 Powerful Methods Teens use in their negotiation

1.Let me have or do what I want or I will withhold my love acceptance or approval of you2.Let me have or do what I want or I will make your life miserable3.I will do what I want and see if you can REALLY do anything about it

What must you do

• Be the Parent not a Friend Do not be controlled by your teen’s approval• Follow Through

No matter how inconvenient or miserable your teen can make it today, without follow through it will be much worse in the future.

• Be Resolved Take whatever action is necessary to ensure your teen knows you are serious

Most Important

Give your teen a reason to re-negotiate

Take your Teen off Teen-age Retirement

Where is the incentive to change anything if the teen continues to have YOU provide everything without returning anything

Your Leverage - You are providing everything NOW. Starting immediately EVERYTHING must be earned through cooperation and respect otherwise No TV No Music No Cell Phone No computer No Video Games No Movies No Allowance No Friend outings No Transportation No Social Activities No Sports No Privileges

Your Leverage allows you to be in the ultimate Negotiation PositionBecause Everything your teen receives

BelongingsPrivilegesActivitiesOpportunities

are Given/Approved or Granted by YOU!

Parents have been giving things freely for so LONG that the teens believe they are ENTITLED

And Parents begin to believe the TEENS ARE ENTITLED AS WELL –

We negotiated THIS

One the Best Ways to start applying your Leverage andRe-negotiate your relationship is through the

Home Incentive System provided by Parent Tools

Home Incentive Program

• Designed & Engineered by Experts• Modeled after time proven system used by

•Specialty Board Schools•Treatment Centers

• Adapted for Home use• Maximizes teen’s motivation

Home Incentive System•Teen earn daily points• Points are earned by

•Cooperation•Respect •Compliance to house rules and values

• Privileges are based on points earned• Any instances of inappropriate attitude or behavior results in the immediate loss of points and privileges

Home Incentive System

General Public Cost $299.00

Yours Today No harge

Our gift for Attendance

The Home Incentive System is an Exceptional Vehicle to Your Teen

Cooperation Motivation

Respect ``COACHING

As with any vehicle there are ways to increase your effectiveness We offer our own version of Driver Ed uCoachin COACHING

The Home Incentive System is fully designed as a “Do-It-Yourself” programs and includes

• Instructional Videos • Workbooks to support video• Tutorials• Specific Directions

However added benefits and help

Here is Why

TOUGH NEGOITATIONS - Support with your Teen Example of going to Home DepotDriving without instruction

Teens are not going to like it and you will need

Home Incentive System Coaching – Value

• Assistance in critical definition phase• setting up privileges and points

• Assistance in your setup with your teen• introducing your teen to the Home Incentive Program

• On-going assistance for both you and your teen• 2 months (5 family coaching calls)

• Access to the MyPoint support network• Monthly meeting – in person or via the web

Coaching Package

•Pre-implementation evaluation process to determine most effective use of MyPoints •4 coaching session to implement MyPoints•Access to monthly support group

Other coaching and assistance upon request

Home Incentive Program Coaching Package

• $299.00 if purchasing today

• $399.00 if purchasing after today

Today we will hold a 1 hour consultation and overview of the MyPoint System for those purchasing The MyPoint Coaching Package