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Accepting the Call

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 1 SEVEN STEPS TO SELF The Process of Awakening by Suzanne Lie PhD
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SEVEN STEPS TO SELF

The Process of Awakening by Suzanne Lie PhD

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BECOMING ONE

We stand at the endTo see the beginning

And dream of an EarthWhere ALL life is winning

No one is hungryAnd no one is poor No one is greedy

And no one wants more

We dream of an EarthWhere the land and the seaBecome ONE with people,

Like you and like me

On this Earth we are ONEWith the rocks and the treesAnd commune with all nature

Through the land and the breeze

We open our sensesTo dear Mother EarthWho offers a platform

Where we can know birth

This birth gives us form,A world filled with mystery

And offers a theater Where we create history

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But history is endingThe future is NOW

We know we’re a planetBut don’t know quite how

Something inside usRemembers a dealWe made long ago

Before we were “real”

We didn’t have form asWe soared through the sky

But wanted a bodyAnd didn’t know why

An urge deep inside usCalled from our Being

For a “place” that had “time”For hearing and seeing

A place we could learnA time we could grow

And share our true SpiritWith “others” we’d know

The concept of “others”Was new to our “ONE”

We’d not known a planetOr even a sun

Together with Gaia,The heart of us all,We entered a form

And began our great fall

We fell from the heavensAnd landed right hereTo remember our loveAnd learn about fear

We’ve learned all we need

And feel quite complete,Our memories are gathered,

Some bitter, some sweet

Together we journeyDeep—deep inside

Where only the TRUTH livesWith no place to hide

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We know that this journeyThat starts will NOT endAnd that is the message

That we will all send

Awaken, dear Spirits,Adventure is here

We can ALL live in LoveAnd release ALL our Fear

If we open our heartsAnd let the TRUTH inThat’s all we need do

So it can begin

And what will beginWe are not quite sureBut FEEL it is LovingAnd KNOW it is Pure

For with our hearts openOur “feeling” and “knowing”

Projects the realityOur Being is showing

“Our” Beings are manyFor together we stand

The people, the creatures,The sea and the land

For NOW, we remember,We chose to come hereTo call in our Soul/SELFWho resides beyond fear

This true SELF we groundInto the Great Mother To return to the ONE

Where there is NO “other”

Then people and planetWill all Become ONE

As TOGETHER our LightWill outshine the Sun

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SEVEN STEPS TO SELFThe Process of Awakening

When we accept the Call to Awaken, the multidimensional light of ourtrue SELF begins to take residence in our physical body. This higherfrequency light of our SELF moves into our chakras(http://www.multidimensions.com/Unconscious/uncon_body_chakras.html )and causes them to spin faster. The accelerated spin then creates acentrifugal force, which clears each chakra by spinning out lowerfrequency physical and psychic toxins that have become trapped in ourbody, mind, emotions and behaviors.

As each chakra is cleared of toxins, the life-long patterns of fear andbeliefs in limitation, separation, and unworthiness are released fromour body and our deep unconscious. As these patterns and beliefs arereleased, they are played out in our body as illness and/or pain and inour life as behaviors and problems. Fortunately, as these lowerfrequency expressions of our ego/self are released, we can begin toembrace the higher frequencies of our Soul/SELF.

Our ego/self functions from the self-image that our past has created,as well as the self-image that we have accepted from others. Once wehave begun this process of balancing and healing our body, ouremotions, our thoughts and our behaviors, we can learn to accept who

we are and not whom we think we should be. Therefore, it is importantthat we observe our body, thoughts, emotions and behaviors, so thatwe can consciously participate in our process of Awakening.

If we deny the pain of both the past and the present, we becomelocked into unconscious reactions to life, as we are still operatingunder the influence of our ego rather than our SELF. On the otherhand, when we are able to consciously observe the effects of these old

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beliefs and patterns in our body and in our life, we can call upon ourSELF to assist us in releasing them.

Once we reveal, heal and release our old patterns, the echoes of thepast will no longer haunt us and cause us to react inappropriately. If

we can observe our behavior, we can begin to understand theunconscious motivation behind it. Often it is only through ourbehavior, and through our "failures," that we are able to flush out andheal old pain and fear.

This personal history of awakening is offered as a case study for othersto better understand how behavior and our life can tell us the truthsthat our minds and emotions cannot. This journey is presented inseven steps, with each step representing the sequential clearing of thechakras. I invite you to take these steps with me, as we ascend:

THE SEVEN STEPS TO BECOMING YOUR SELF

The Process of Awakening

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THE FIRST STEP

CHILDHOOD

The small child longed to go Home,but she did not know the way.

She could remember the sightsand sounds of Home and

she could remember her wonderful friends.

She was lonely here,in this strange and barren land.

She longed so to experience all that was HomeTrue Love,

Complete Acceptance,

Divine Beauty, and Union with all life.

Here she felt separate.There were great walls dividing

each portion of life. And there was a smaller wall around her.

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When she first came to this place

she was afraid.She did not understand these

strange people or their strange ways.

Flowers, trees, and animalsdid not speak to her.

And, if she tried to speak to them,others laughed.

Therefore, she began to build a wall around herself.With every laugh and

every condemning thought,a new brick was laid.

She could no longer speak to her plant and animal friends,

no matter how hard she tried.

The wall became so heavy and high that she could barely see the sun

or feel the breezeor view the world around her.

She was alone inside her wall,alone and afraid.

One day, when the sun was invisibleand the breeze nonexistent,she decided that it was timefor the wall to come down.

Even if they laughed,she could feel the sun.

Even if they condemned her,she could see the flowers.

So she began. At first, it was very difficult.

The bricks were cemented fast,and it took great effort to

remove even one.

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However, the bricks weresomehow connected and

as one was released the others were weakened.

With the release of each brick,the process became easier and easier.

As the wall became smaller the sun became brighter

and the breeze more refreshing.

She had forgotten that the world was pretty after all.

She had not realized that for every one who laughed at her

there was someone else who cared.

She had not realized that if she ignored the ridicule of others,

she could then hear the plants and animalshungrily returning her call.

As she gained couragethrough removing her wall,

she became confident enough to facewhat hid behind it.

Eventually, the wall seemed very small.

Or, perhaps, she had grown.

It had seemed that,as she removed each brick,

she had grown taller.

She wasn't sure of this, of course.It had just seemed that way.

In fact, she wasn't sure of much.She only knew that life was better.

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She did not know what would happenwhen all the bricks were gone.

But she did know that fear had built the wall

and only LOVE could totally remove it!

Childhood ~ A Life Begins and Soon Forgets

When we are born into out physical form we forget most of our greaterSELF. Fortunately, our inner child holds that secret for us until we areready to remember. But why do we forget? Most of us are taught toforget by the people in our world who no longer remember. And, often,we forget because of painful events that are too great for a child to bear.In the process of that forgetting we lose the happy memories as well.

We also forget because our emotional reactions to the world around usblur our memory and interrupt our connection to the portion of ourselves that remembers. Therefore, we must learn to hear, express,and release our emotions without judgment or criticism. This processoften takes years, as most of us have learned in our childhood that it isnot safe to be completely open and honest with others or with our self.

We must learn to NOT judge our emotions or we will not feel safeenough to allow them to the surface to be healed and released.

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TAKING THE FIRST STEP

We see the first step before us and realize that it is very familiar, likesomething from our childhood. Yes, that is it; this is the first step onthe staircase that lead to our childhood home. Something had happened in that home, something that we have forgotten. Now thememory is stirring in our mind, flirting with our heart. We see our self as a child climbing that stair. Yes, there are many memories, somemake us sad and some make us laugh. Most important, all thesememories make us our SELF.

Personal History, First StepFirst ChakraTIME FRAME 1974-1979

My process of Awakening began in 1974. According to myego’s standards, I had it all. I was married, which meant Iwas "good enough," and I had two children who loved meunconditionally. Unconditional love, yes, unconditional lovewas a secret yearning that came from a memory of the time"before." However, I had never found it on this world, thisplace in which I lived, but could never call Home.

I owned my house, I didn't have to leave my children to goto work (a strong 50's message), and I had lots and lots of time to look at my life. Or was it my life? No, it was

everyone else's life. It was the life that I was “supposed” to have. Itwas a good "outside life." By that I mean that anyone on the outsidecould look at my life and say, "What a good life."

But, what did I say about my life? I said, "Where did my SELF go?"Therefore, in order to find out where I had gone, I had to find out whoI was. I had spent my life being who I was supposed to be and hadnever had time to be who “I” was. Early in my childhood I hadneglected my inner life, my real life, my SELF. I had hidden my SELFaway because it was too different from everyone around me. Being

different was a very "bad" thing. If you were different you were NOT"good enough."

I had grown up in the 50's and early 60's, the first wave of the BabyBoomers. I had been programmed well by my family and my society. Ihad lost the sense of who I was and had embraced the idea of who Iwas supposed to be. And now I had it all! I was miserable and lonely. Iwas lonely for my SELF. The only time I could be my SELF was with

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my kids and a very few friends. I was 28 years old and I was VERYtired.

I looked around at the life that SHOULD have made me happy. I hadeverything. I had a new home that we owned; a marriage, two kids, a

girl and a boy, and I could stay home with the children. According tothe 1950's sit-coms, I should be gloriously happy. However, it was1974.

Luckily, I was still cashing in on the tail of the hippie era. We had hugeparties, two to three times a week, and our home was always filledwith people and fun. When we moved into our new house, I plantedthe entire yard, from weeds to landscaping, planted a vegetablegarden and made all the curtains, pillows, quilts. I was very creative.Now I needed to begin to create ME.

All my creativity aroused the Goddess within me and she began callingme to join Her. But, I could not feel Her love. All I could feel was Herintense loneliness. "Where am I?" I would ask myself, and "What isthis place?" I have everything that society and my family told me toget, yet I am horribly unhappy. Why?

I began my search with my best friends, books. I searched furiouslybecause I could feel the demon of depression closing in on me like adark cloud. All that I had, all that I had attained, meant nothing to thisdemon for it engulfed everything in its darkness.

The doors of my unconscious were opening before me, and I could notclose them. "Perhaps I should stop resisting and allow the craziness toovertake me," I pondered. But two of my book friends, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden , and Eden Express , showed me thatinsanity was NOT the answer.

Then I found another book, Richard Hiddleman's 28 Day Plan for Yoga ,which showed me another path, the spiritual path. Instead of giving into insanity, I decided I would let go of what THEY wanted me to do.

But I didn't know how.Luckily, my SELF had heard my call and gradually started altering mybehavior. I had gone down to my deepest unconscious and felt theancient pain that had been hiding there my entire life; in fact, myentire "lives." Because of that journey, a glimmer of my spirit was ableto filter through the vast network of walls and camouflages that I hadbuilt around me in 28 years.

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At the end of each day's yoga session, Hiddleman wrote, "Now, listento your body." I had no concept of what that meant. My body was notme, it never had been me. My body was the trap that kept me fromgoing Home. My body was what separated me from...what? I did not

know. I only knew that I wanted to feel connected again, connected tosomething INSIDE.

I continued to read every book I could find about yoga, yoga sutra,spirituality, meditation, everything. One book, and I do not rememberwhich one, said, "When you step upon The Path, you must do soALONE." Well, I had felt alone my entire life so that was not tooominous for me.

In fact, the only time I didn't feel alone was when I was with my SELF,the one I had abandoned to get married and live in denial. Fortunately,there were also my children and a few, very few, special friends. Myspirituality had always been something I had experienced alone. Evenwhen I was with my gregarious teen church group, I felt different andalone.

Then I met Mrs. Reed. My friend, one of the special ones, introducedme to her, and I instantly knew she was my teacher. However, I thinkit was about a year before I was ready to begin studying with her. Ihad to decide to make my spiritual growth more important than themany emotional dramas that filled my life. Practicing yoga is what

helped me make that decision. Yoga gave me a taste of peace, and Iwanted more!

After studying for awhile with Mrs. Reed about Astrology and theAscended Masters, I gained the courage to go to graduate school tofinish my major and get a license. I was beginning to awaken, and theGoddess told me that I could not be free in the world until I couldsupport my children and myself.

CAREER LIFE

Graduate school was a great mirror for my many unconscious fears.My first fear was that I was too "stupid" to get a MA degree. Therefore,my second fear was that I would fail the comprehensive examination.However, both of these conscious fears paled behind my unconsciousfear, which was, "If I get a masters and a job, I will have to leave myunhappy marriage and be ALONE." There is that word again. I thoughtI wasn't afraid to be alone, at least not consciously afraid.

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Because my conscious and unconscious mind were not in agreement, Ihad to create a cover story. "I know," I told myself, "I am going toschool to save my marriage." In reality, the reason I was going toschool was to leave my marriage, two very different opinions to be

locked in one mind. Luckily, or unluckily, my mind was very busylearning many new things and worrying about "failing the comps,"which of course I did. But, that was much later.

PHYSICAL BODY

My mind was a wonderful liar, and it believed my cover story. Ithought that I was determined to achieve my goal, but which goal?Was my goal to leave the marriage or save the marriage? Was my goalto get my degree or fail my comprehensive examinations? Was mygoal to follow my inner guidance as I had learned from Mrs. Reed, orwas my goal to manipulate the "Higher Beings" to give me comfortrather than the truth?

My body was very confused and a very poor liar. My body knew thatthe first chakra's adrenal glands were firing adrenaline into mysystem, that I was totally ungrounded, and that I was going inopposite directions with every thought. My body also knew that a war,about which I was totally oblivious, was being waged inside me. It willbe "fine," came a voice that I labeled as spirit. In actuality, it was thevoice of denial.

Denial is a tricky deal. When you live in denial in your outside world,how can you determine if you are living in denial in your inside world?Was I saying it would be fine, or was my spiritual guidance saying thatit would be fine? Well, I had a simple solution; I denied that I wasliving in denial.

Meanwhile, my body was in stop/go, stop/go, stop/go mode. I had fivecar accidents in one year. None of these were my fault. Denial! Andwhile doing yoga, one stormy evening when I was alone, I wrenched

my right knee. Now, that was an interesting message from my body.The right knee, the masculine side, which teaches us how to step outinto the world, the shock absorber of "learning-how-to-go-out-into-the-world-to-take-care-of-yourself," was giving me a message.

The right knee, which is on the right leg that pushes the brakes andthe accelerator in the car so that you DON'T have five car accidents,was in great pain. Was my body telling me to slow down and watch

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where I was going? Was my body telling me that I was experiencing agreat deal of psychic pain? Was my body telling me that I should bendmy knee to my higher guidance and listen rather than direct?

No, I denied, my hurt was bad luck, just like the car accidents. But

luckily my higher guidance was protecting me. I did listen to itsometimes. On the way to school I would chant "Blaze, Blaze, Blazethe Violet Fire, transmuting all shadow into Light, Light, Light". When Itried to study in my tension-filled house, I would chant, "Nothing willdisturb my harmony."

My higher guidance even came to me in a blazing ball of golden lightone night when I was ALONE. It was just before I was to take thecomprehensive examinations. The golden light entered my bedroomand slowly approached my bedside. Had it come to warn me, to tellme that I was NOT in the state of mind to take on such a bigchallenge? I never learned the answer because I hid under the coversuntil it was gone. Oh, the joys of denial.

When I learned that I had failed the "comps," I blamed God for"leading me astray." But later, after I had taken the responsibility formy own inner battle, after I had learned that I created my own reality,and after I had learned that fear has as much power to create as love,I passed the exams.

FINAL INITIATION OF THE FIRST STEP

I can forgive myself for my youthful mistakes because now I see thatit all was a grand drama, “all the world is a stage," that wouldcrescendo into my final initiation. Through the last year of graduate

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school, I had dream after dream of great disasters involving just mychildren and me, ALONE. We always survived.

I can look back at this time and think that I was having a nervousbreakdown, or I can look back and think that I was having a spiritual

initiation. I choose the latter. A nervous breakdown can be "bad luck"or "a major setback", whereas as spiritual initiation is "a difficulttransition into a better person." Well it WAS a difficult transition, and Ido believe that I became a better person. I became a better personbecause I learned some very important lessons.

When I got the grim notice in the mail that I had failed, all my illusionsburst in one great explosion. I could no longer deny that I wasmiserable. Then, when my husband spent that night of my "bad news"away from home, away from me, I could no longer deny that mymarriage was over. The next day, after one of the worst nights of mylife, with my kids, our dog, and my school and spiritual books, I left. Ileft that house and I left that life. I would take the test again, and Iwould pass because I was no longer at war with myself.

My unconscious and my SELF had won. I learned that I was NOTstupid. In fact, I learned that I was smart and powerful. I also learnedto listen to my SELF when it tried to warn me. But, of course, at thetime I probably would not have heeded the warning if I had listened. Ihad to manifest my greatest fears so that I could conquer them. I hadto fail in order to learn that I was strong enough to try again and

succeed. I had to fail to finally break through my wall of denial to findthe courage to leave a bad situation and face my fear of being alone.And, I had to fail in order to learn to distinguish between the voice of my fear and the voice of my SELF.

Through my behavior, I had proven what my SELF had always known.My first chakra had opened. What a ride! I learned to support myself for the first time, I created a new home, and I learned that I couldintegrate my masculine and feminine energy to create a NEW LIFE. Istepped upon the First Step to SELF. Now I had to LIVE it...

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THE FIRST PILLAR OF LIGHT

Our child has finally grown up. It has taken muchlonger than we ever intended. And even though wefeel like an adult, we know that there is a center that isstill soft and vulnerable.

If we were to give that center up, we know that wewould become hard and inflexible. For in the center,we feel pain. In feeling pain we can remember to learnand grow and change.

Now, we have to learn how to guide our self, not just from our strong, adult exterior, but also from the soft vulnerable interior that is the center of our SELF. We

have to learn to shield that center from the outside pain, while we still allow love to enter from the ones whom we trust.

This center is the threshold to our inner SELF. The inner worlds arenow becoming accessible. We place our deepest love and trust on thisthreshold so that we can be protected and guided in every moment of our life.

Just inside the doorway to our inner SELF is a pillar of light with ashining crystal atop it. This pillar guards the First Step to SELF. Thelight of this pillar will always shine to remind us of the spiritual life-force, which continuously flows from our core into our physical universe.

We are ready now to enter the doorway, walk to the pillar and peer into its crystal. At first, all we can see is a red glow. Then, gradually,our vision focuses and the glow becomes a flame, A FLAME OF INNERCOURAGE!

We will need this courage to maintain the responsibilities of our everyday life while we continue on our inner journey up the Seven

Steps to SELF.

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THE QUESTION

“Now can you remember? Now can you recall?

The times when you were lonely and knew not whom to call.

You went INSIDE to find a friend,

one whom you knew could hear.

For deep inside was nice to run,a place to hide your fear.

But no matter how you waited,the time would someday come.

To go into the world and face what you'd run from.

Can you use what you had gained insideto help all those around you?

Can you hold within your heart so deepthe Life you’ve known as true?

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Are you ready to grow up now and leave the child inside

to face the world around youwith dignity and pride?

Are you an adult or a child?”

“Can't I be both?”

Yes,but not at the same time!”

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THE SECOND STEP

CONFRONTING EMOTION

“I am going to stay and face it,” I said.

“Whatever happens,it can't be worse

than running away.

“I have run and run

and the shadow at my back only gets bigger.

“Whatever I have created,it is time to look it in the face.”

I turned with the convictionof my final words

and planted my feet to wait for the confrontation.

It felt good.

At last, I felt in control. At last, I was the warrior

rather than the victim.

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It came to me so slowly and subtly that I

couldn’t see it until it was upon me.

Would I have the strength to fight it

and the courage tomake it my friend?

At last, I would find out now,once and for all.

Emotions ~ Healing the Pain

Often the first emotions that we finally allow ourselves to realize andexpress are painful ones, because they are the memories that werepressed in our early life. It is not until we can balance these painfulemotions with emotions of comfort and happiness that we can findpeace. This peace, of course, is fleeting because there is always a newcatalyst to which we can react. But if we can clear our past, we canexperience each moment in a clear and present way. Then, we will notbe as buffeted about by the challenges of everyday life.

TAKING THE SECOND STEP

We see the second step before us. It is the stairway to our first adult home. This home was filled with emotional memories of fun, fear,laughter, and sorrow. Can we use the wisdom we have learned fromour child to heal the painful emotions and balance them with

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happiness and joy? “YES,” we bravely affirm. However, as we movetowards the stairway, the emotions overwhelm us.

We will have to go very slowly.

PERSONAL HISTORY, SECOND STEPTHE SECOND CHAKRATIME FRAME 1979-1983

It was now the summer of 1979. I was 33 years old andon my own for the first time in my life. Well, that is, I wason my own for three weeks. I was awakening to my SELF,who needed lots of love and lots of passion. Not just"having sex," but actually “making love.” Our connectionwas so strong that we experienced total unity as themagic flushed up our spines, uniting us into ONE.

For me, this kind of sex had to be filled with love, deep,passionate love. For eleven years, my only real love wasfor my children and a few friends. Now, I had met a manwith whom I was totally, uncontrollably and passionately.But he wasn't the father of my children and too often, I

had to choose between them and him, actually between them andmyself. I had spent a lifetime repressing and "depressing" myemotions. Now I had my first taste of love and my appetite for more

was unquenchable.

SPIRITUAL LIFE

After being together for a year, we moved to the beach. It was too faraway to study with Mrs. Reed, but I did continue to get my writtenchanneling from the Long Island organization whose writings Mrs.Reed had used. I really don't think I was very spiritual at that time. Ihad not yet totally forgiven God, my SELF, for saying everything wouldbe all right.

In other words, I had not yet learned that I was the creator of my life.It wasn't until I entered my Ph.D. program, and some very deeptherapy, that I was able to gain a degree of mastery over my emotionsand release my addiction to being a victim. Every day, I studied theastrology that I had leaned from Mrs. Reed, but I was still a shipwithout a Captain. Hence, I needed to consult astrology, tarot, andpsychics as often as I could.

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I could not yet believe that I knew all the answers in a higherdimensional component of myself. My consciousness was still primarilylimited to the third dimension, although there were frequent pleas, andsome visits, to the fourth dimension to seek help.

CAREER LIFE

After the divorce, in fact immediately after the divorce, I was marriedto my new Love. However, with a happy marriage, and fulfilling mylong held desire of moving to the beach, I had to admit that I did notenjoy the audiology practice that I had established. I definitely couldnot spend my whole life doing it. I could not "settle" for a job that wasnot my heart's calling. My awakening SELF was moving up into mysecond chakra, and I could not just "work." My emotional awakeningtold me that I had to do what I could love.

Also, it was time now to focus on my children. They had had to survivea depressed mother in deep denial, my going to grad school, anabsentee father, a divorce, and a mom and dad who instantly hookedup with someone else after the divorce. So, did I really focus on mychildren and give them all my attention? No, at least not directly. Iwent into a Ph.D. program and, luckily for them, went into intensivepsychotherapy. Boy, did I need it! Finally, I was able to hear and healsome of my long repressed pain. I could stop reacting to my life andstart creating it.

PHYSICAL BODY

Beside the fact that I had yeast infections, or was it honeymooner'sdisease, for two years, my body faired pretty well. Besides, I was ingrad school studying Clinical Psychology and in weekly therapy, so Icould release pain from my psyche rather than manifesting it in mybody.

My program was very mind-body oriented. It also helped me align the

masculine energy of my analytical mind with the female energy of myinner reflection. This aided me to maintain my balance of masculineand feminine polarities as I cleared my second chakra.

Interestingly enough, shortly after I experienced a hypnotic regressionuncovering how I had really felt when my father abanded me, myyeast infections stopped. My body was saying to me, "Are you sureyou can trust him, any him? Maybe, he will abandon you like all the

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other men in your life." But the body can't speak English so it speakspain.

The pain starts as a whisper, but we bravely carry on like the goodtroopers that we are. Then, to get our attention, the body speaks in a

little louder pain, but we are brave. We can endure our sufferingcourageously.

Then, the body has had it and it yells, "PAIN!" Finally, we listen.However, too often we listen as the victim and cannot understand thevery clear message that the body we are living in is relaying to us.

My body was saying, "You are afraid. You, meaning the you who livesinside of me, the body, are still too frightened to really trust.Furthermore, you still have mountains of repressed anger." It wouldtake the clearing of my third chakra before I could even begin tounderstand my anger. However, I did release a lot of pain and sorrowwhen I cleared my second chakra.

FINAL INITIATION FOR THE SECOND STEP

Whereas the final initiation for my first chakra was VERY obvious, theinitiation for my second chakra was subtle. Even as a child I had hadmany fourth dimensional experiences in the Land of Faerie, but all thedenied emotions had stopped my further experiences in the higher

planes.

I had reached a psychic plateau and I blamed God, or was it men thatI blamed? Perhaps I was really angry at my own masculine self whogot the bright idea of going out on "his" own. Anyway, my repressedanger had made me a victim, and the Spiritual Path stops when thetraveler cannot take responsibility for the life he/she has created.

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When I entered therapy, more and more of my unconscious mindbecame conscious. Then I became aware of the many "hiddenagendas" that were really in control; for example, my getting the MAto "save the marriage." If I had been conscious of the hidden agendaof leaving the marriage, I would not have fallen into such devastation

when the marriage ended.

I would have looked at my divorce as a success and been happy thatmy education allowed me to get employment even though I wouldhave to re-take my test. But, that was not the case. I had built my lifeupon illusion, and when the bubble popped, I was devastated.

As my unconscious mind and all the pain and confusion that it heldbecame accessible to my conscious mind, I created a pathway frommy deepest subconscious secrets up into my conscious mind. As Icreated this pathway in my third dimensional consciousness, I alsocreated a pathway through the lowest fourth dimensional astral plane.With a clear pathway through the pain and fear of my fourthdimensional consciousness/aura, I began to have physic experiencesthat came from the higher sub-planes of the fourth dimension. I, also,began to receive messages from the higher dimensional expressions of my SELF.

I stopped pouring over my astrology readings and consulting psychicsat every turn and began to go inside to listen to my inner guidance. Iconnected with both the masculine and feminine aspects of my inner

guidance and developed an intimate relationship with them. That iswhen I began to trust my self. Hence, I began to trust others, as well.Gradually, and almost unknowingly, I had stepped upon the secondstep to SELF.

THE SECOND PILLAR OF LIGHT

Tentatively, we step onto the second step to SELF.Craning our necks, we peer into the crystal atop thesecond pillar. But, we see nothing, for within this

crystal is the Void. Hence, we see nothing, as well aseverything. For nestled deep within this void, is theseed of creativity. In fact, it is our center of creativity and the possibility of creating everything OR nothing.

We stare deeply into the nothingness, but, suddenly,we pull back in fear and astonishment. Could we beempty, yet full, of creative potential? Could we have a

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void inside of us? The idea frightens, but also entices, us.

If we were to stare too deeply into this void, would we become lost—lost in the void and lost in our self. We lean forward to look again intothe crystal. Too late, we feel a connection, and before we know it, the

void pulls us in. Or do we leap? Once in the void we can no longer decipher how we entered.

In the void, all opposite polarities become one, and all that was oncethe same, polarizes into opposition. Concepts of our mind and experiences of our emotions blur into a nothingness that issimultaneously peaceful and frightening. Our thoughts cannot exist inthe void for there is nothing to understand or to analyze. Furthermore,our emotions become so confused that they cancel each other out.

What can we hold on to? What can we understand, feel, know, or question? All experience of familiarity disappears in an onslaught of ultimate stimulation and complete negation of sensation. Light fallsinto darkness in the exact moment that it is created. Loneliness and unity dance in and out of reality. We have lost our sense of self, that is, the self that once existed before we entered the void.

Life and death, birth and decay, whirl together in harmony to thesweet music of potential. Currents of light and sound flicker in and out of existence and encompass us with such force that we feel engulfed,enlivened, suffocated and rejuvenated.

And then—it is over.

It is almost as if the void has spun us out, out into a world that is now foreign to us. Immediately upon leaving the void, most that we haveexperienced is forgotten. However, we emerge from within the void with a virginal perception of reality.

The clouds clear to reveal the Sun in its fullest glory. Blossoms bloomupon the trees, flowers begin to open and birds chirp a welcome to the

day, as the morning dew releases the scent of eternity.To survive the void is to die—die in order to be reborn—and then to bereborn in order to die again and again. Die to each day, to eachmoment, to each memory and to each sorrow. Life and death are one.Nothing and everything is one. Forever and never are continuous. Theclock ceases to tick. Space was never traveled, yesterday never happened and tomorrow will not come.

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In every second, we are reborn. As eternity collapses into the NOW,we are new. Separation becomes Unity. Aloneness becomes unity withall and reunion with SELF. The flower ceases to exist, but its essenceremains.

If only we could remember that which has never happened—except within the void.

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A SOUL’S REMORSE

A life so small, so incomplete A time so short and not so sweet

The harshness of an unfair land To be alone with no one’s hand

Why must it be that one should suffer? Where is the help? What is the buffer?

Pull the spark back to the flame

Its no one’s fault - no one’s to blame

The cycle turns - the dead awakenThe living feel they are forsaken.

Where is the balance? What is the rule? Is it best to know or to act the fool?

Show me now the pathway HomeFor a speck of truth, the world I comb

The morning rises - a new beginning Am I losing now - or am I winning?

And does it matter how it all turns out? If we end in a whisper or end in a shout

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How was the journey? What did we learn? What did we covet? What did we earn?

We touch the stars and feel the earthWe release our death and know our birth

The choices were all made beforeWhen we finish them, we ask for more

The flower drops down to the ground the fruit of life soon to be found

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THE THIRD STEP

Thoughts

As I listen inside my mind I realize that

a crowd of ideasis trying to confuse me.

Worries, calculations, promises, and dreams

are constantly echoing about in the inner recessesof my brain.

How can I still this crowd of ideas?

How can I center my self in the midst

of a mental hurricane?

Where has thisstorm come from?

Have I not listened to my “self” before,

or is all this "noise" new?

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No, I suspect it has always been there,but I have been too busy

listening to the noise without to hear the noise within.

Well, now I can hear it.Now, I know it is there.

But how can I master it?

I know I can’t control the outside voices,

but I must learn to calmthe buzz within.

D0 I need to listen tothe many inner cries,

or should I ignore them asa mother may ignore

a spoiled child'srepeated demands?

And where am “I”?

Somewhere withinthis inner circus

must be my SELF.

Somewhere amongst the“clowns” and “elephants”

there must be a Ringmaster.

But where?

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Thoughts ~ Learning to Think from Within

Once we have gained the ability to experience our emotions and notrepress them or become trapped in them, we find that our thoughtsoften push us back into negativity. Then, we must remind ourselves tolisten to the SELF with whom we are slowly gaining a relationship.When we were repressing, or trapped in, our emotions, it wasimpossible to hear our thoughts. Once our emotional body has calmed,our thoughts come to our attention.

Can we choose our thoughts or are they our jailer who thrusts our dailyportion before us without asking our opinion? The answer is that beforewe can choose our thoughts, we must learn to listen to them. Only whenwe can listen can we discriminate between the thoughts we choose toallow to live in our minds and the thoughts that we choose to reject.Furthermore, only when we listen can we discriminate between thethoughts that are ours and the thoughts that we have learned, or takenon, from others.

TAKING THE THIRD STEP

We see the third step before us and instantly recognize the stairway that led up to our college campus and/or first important job. These are theareas of our life in which we first began to learn some mastery over our mind. Our emotions were strong, as we had not yet earned our confidence, and our inner child was not sure if we were “smart enough.” However, the still, inner voice of our SELF told us that we WOULD be

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successful. We chose to listen to that inner voice. We listened throughthe disappointments and listened through the challenges as, again and again, we returned to climb these stairs.

For, at the top of this stairway, awaited confidence.

PERSONAL HISTORY, THIRD STEPTHIRD CHAKRATIME FRAME 1983-1986

By 1983 I had finished most of my PhD course work, andI was writing my dissertation. I had also begun to seeclients. I found that the emotional instincts of the secondchakra were quite different from the psychic energy of the third chakra. My experience taught me that theemotional energy of the second chakra is very instinctiveand based on action for survival. On the other hand, thepsychic energy of the third chakra was more mental andbased on thinking before acting.

I learned that the third chakra governs both the power of my own self-awareness and the power in relationshipsthat can result from that self-awareness. In other words,when I was able to use my power to attend to my

emotions and listen to my thoughts, I was able to maintain mypersonal power within relationships. If I had not found my own inner-

power, I would find myself in power struggles with others tounconsciously prove to myself that I was powerful enough.

When my SELF began to inhabit my third chakra, I was formingrelationships in which I had a great deal of power to influence others.One of the first lessons I had to learn was that people really listened tome. Hence, I had to be "conscious" of that power. This was definitelya time of accomplishments, ego development, self-control, and willpower. It was also a time, more than any other, when I was definingmyself and standing up for my freedom to be that SELF that I had

discovered.SPIRITUAL LIFE

My mind was taking in new information almost faster than I couldabsorb it. Interestingly, I found myself drawn to the Oriental spiritualpath. I studied with a Tai Chi teacher every week, and I also attendedweekly meditations with a Taoist teacher. Both of these disciplines

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focused on slowing down the mind. Tai Chi was especially difficult forme. My teacher kept saying, "Slower, slower, match your mind withthe pace of your movement."

Moving VERY slowly and connecting my mind to each movement was a

huge challenge for me. My meditations were also forcing me to remainstill in my body to find the stillness of my mind. This stillness allowedme to create a pathway through the oceans of the mid fourthdimensional Emotional Plane and connect with the Mental Plane in thehigher fourth dimension. Concurrently, this allowed me to navigate myemotions in my outer world and gain a greater mastery over my mind.

CAREER LIFE

My career life and spiritual life were starting to merge. One of mymentors who was teaching me hypnosis, also taught me automaticwriting. This was not the type of automatic writing where anotherbeing entered my body, but instead, it was a way to get "out of myown way" and communicate in writing with the world inside of myself.The first person I heard from was my inner child, which I titled, “AChild’s Adventure in Faerie.”

I found that when I wrote my inner guidance, whether it be from ahigher dimensional being or a higher dimensional expression of myself,I could get more details and clarity. The writing also assisted me ingrounding the information in my everyday world. First I would receive

it; then I would re-read it, edit it and expand upon it. Gradually, thecommunications turned into stories, poems, and eventually, books.But that was later.

My professional world was busy, yet completely fulfilling. This time Ihad no hidden agenda regarding my graduate school, and myconscious and unconscious mind were in complete agreement. I wasbeing challenged every minute and loving it. I knew that I wasfollowing my destiny. This knowledge was soon to be tested.

PHYSICAL BODY My mind was great, but my body, as usual, had to take the brunt of my stress. I was working four days a week, finishing my Ph.D., wasmarried, had two teenagers, and my third chakra was giving me everysymptom of chronic stress.

My digestion was disturbed, my stomach often upset was and it felt as

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though I were starting to get an ulcer. There was a constant,uncomfortable feeling in my solar plexus that didn't go away until Ifinished school. Then it left. Yes, my SELF had definitely entered mythird chakra.

FINAL INITIATION FOR THE THIRD STEP

My final initiation for this chakra was the sum-total of all I had learnedsince I had started my process of awakening. It was time to get mylicense, and there was a mishap with my records at the state licensingboard. The laws were due to change, and if I didn’t sit for the exam atthat time, I would have to go back to school to take more classes.That was NOT an option. So, I had to study without knowing whetheror not I could take the test. Meanwhile, I was working full time, raisingteenagers and haggling with the licensing board about my records.

I had to keep calm or I would not be able to concentrate on mystudies. Therefore, I had to use all that I had learned. I had to shiftfrom the "will mode" of: "I will do this" to the allowing mode of: "All Ican do, is all I can do." Just as the sensations my body wereconcentrated on the area between the third and fourth chakra, myinitiation was to leave behind the will mode of the third chakra andmove into the heart mode of allowing my life to unfold.

I meditated, did my Tai Chi and yoga, and worked only three days aweek. Then I got too "busy" and stopped with my stress maintenance.It all came to a head when I fell apart in front of the entire class, andbashed my car into a post after I hysterically tried to leave the parkingstructure. Wait a minute. Is this familiar? Have I done this before?When was the last time I had car accidents and was terrified about the

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outcome of my "final" test? Yes, life is a pass-fail system. Since I hadmade such a mess of my MA I had to "do it again" with my Ph.D.

The accident got my attention. Five hundred dollars later, I realizedthat stress maintenance techniques only work if you do them! Well,

my mind, and intellect, worked. I passed all my exams and began yetanother new life.

Oh, but what about my husband and kids who had been waiting for meto finish school so that they could get more of my attention? That wasthe lesson of my heart chakra. But I had moved through my lessons of the third chakra, and I stood upon the threshold to the Third Step of Becoming my SELF.

THE THIRD PILLAR OF LIGHT

Together, we step onto the third step to SELF and look into the crystal atop the pillar. Inside we see the face of alotus flower shinning upon us. We gaze into the flower sodeeply that our consciousness falls into the crystal and we are pulled into the water beneath the lotus.

As we adjust our vision, we see that the lotus is far above us floating contentedly upon the surface of thewater. We reach for the lotus, but it aloofly floats beyond our grasp. We try to swim to it, but our feet are stuck inthe thick mud at the bottom of the pond.

We must wait for that which we perceive as beyond our grasp. As we wait, we try to clear our mind so that negative thinking will not repel that for which we wait,but thoughts of doom circle our mind like a shark in

murky waters. Impatience and a growing fear weigh heavily on us and force us deeper and deeper into the mud.

We must learn to be patient. We must learn to calm our thoughts and

wait in peace. “The road to illumination is paved with patience,” speaks a voice from deep inside. But time agitates us and the confined space limits us.

Old thoughts trap our mind and ancient emotions keep the water about us churned and muddy. If only we could find Peace—peace of mind and peace of heart. Then we could wait. But what are we waitingfor? We do not know the answer, but the question brings us hope. Are

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we waiting for a reunion? Yes, reunion with our SELF.

We suddenly know that we must allow our feet to root themselves intothe earth and wait for the stem of the lotus with an open heart and quiet mind.

As we hold this new thought in our mind, something like peace beginsto settle in our heart. We look up to the surface of the water and seethat the lotus, once floating freely, is slowly beginning to lower itsroots.

Our first instinct is to try to escape the mud and scramble to thesurface to grab frantically at whatever we can reach. But somethinginside quietly reminds us to remain patient, hold the peace and wait with a welcoming heart and calm mind.

We settle in and allow our self the patience to not know how long it will take. As we do so, we notice that the mud feels warm and comforting between our toes. We realize that the water holds us downbut also keeps us light and buoyant. Slowly, we move our arms in anundulating fashion and feel the sensate pleasure of the water movingacross our skin.

Maybe it isn’t so bad after all. Maybe the wait can actually be pleasant if we are willing to accept “what is” instead of constantly searching for “what might be.” If we can feel the NOW, than maybe we can hold the

hope of a beautiful tomorrow and a pain-free yesterday. Yes, toexperience the NOW to the fullest. If we can do that, there will be NOwait. There will be NO painful memories from the past or worries about the future.

There will only be the NOW.

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THE THRESHOLD

What is the reason for my lifeand why have I come here

to a world so filled with sorrow,with anger, and with fear?

Though my thoughts are all confused

I know the answer’s therefor deep inside I hear a call,but I’m not sure from where.

There is a tranquil message pulling softly at my mind.

It feels so very lovingand sounds so sweet and kind.

This voice that hears my painlives somewhere deep inside.

It hides behind my egoand is muted by my pride.

This presence is so quiet whereas others yell and cry.It wisely gives me reasonsand gently tells me why.

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If my mind is calm and centered

it fills my heart with cheer,but if there is a mental storm

it’s impossible to hear.

“The answers are all known,” it says.“If you turn your mind around

to see what can’t be seenand hear what has no sound?”

If the portal to this inner world lives deep inside my Soul,

then to step across that threshold is my promise and my goal.

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THE FOURTH STEP

AWAKEN

The early morning light shines through the window

glistening and dancingacross the table.

Now is the time to remember,remember my SELF.

Now, when the light is near,I must allow it to enter deep within

to reveal my Soul toawaken ancient memories

that know all,feel all,

think all,love all.

For only inknowing my SELF

can I truly know another.

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Only intrusting my SELF

can I truly trust another.

Only in

receiving comfort from my SELF can I truly comfort another.

Only inloving my SELF

can I truly love another.

Relationships ~ Learning to Love Ourselves,Others, and the Planet

Relationships allow us to learn about love and the healing power that itholds. However, whatever conflict we hold inside ourselves will bemirrored in those relationships. Only in forgiving and loving ourselves,both in our past and in our present, can we allow ourselves to trustenough to freely love another. Yes, we must also forgive ourselves forthe pain we have suffered within relationships. Trust of another is basedon trusting our own instincts and feelings. Because of this, we mustforgive ourselves for not knowing, allowing too much or staying toolong. When we have learned to truly trust ourselves, we allow ourselves

to truly trust another.

Once we have permitted love into our hearts and lives, we begin torealize that each of us is a portion of a greater whole. This whole is ourplanet. If we do not love our planet, we are not being loving to thepeople for whom we are creating a safe and beautiful place to live. Onceour hearts are filled with love, our sphere of concern widens and a

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responsibility to all life grows. This responsibility to all life is thedominion of the Goddess.

The Goddess is the beacon of the power of love. This power of love is anenergy field, which is not limited to women or even to humans. The

power of the Goddess finds our mates, bears our children, and holds ourfamilies together. The Goddess nurtures, heals, and grows the seeds of our creativity into manifestation. Men may also live the power of theGoddess, and more of them are doing so every day. Balancing of theGod and Goddess within us allows us to create and maintainrelationships that are co-operative and peaceful.

TAKING THE FOURTH STEP

We see the fourth step before us. It is the stairway to the home of our

family. Can we allow the joy of love to take root in our heart and givebirth to all that continues? Or, will we allow the pain of the past to hold us in fear? Every step on this stairway holds a lesson. Can we learn our lessons from the past and release them so that we can live in the NOW? Can we learn how to hold our love completely open—without losing our SELF?

To answer these questions, we must first learn to unconditionally loveour self NOW.

PERSONAL HISTORY-FOURTH STEPFOURTH CHAKRATIME FRAME 1985-1988

The opening of the chakra just above it usually precedesthe final initiation of a chakra. Therefore, my finalinitiation for the third chakra was in 1986, but the openingof the fourth chakra first began in 1985 with the death of my beloved grandmother. In fact, both of mygrandmothers died that year.

As I was claiming my power, the “grandmothergeneration” died. This pushed my mother into the “grandmother” role and me firmly into her role as “mother.” The baton was passed on to the nextgeneration, and my power within the family unitincreased. Even though I had been a mother for quitesome time, now it was time to be a mentor.

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SPIRITUAL LIFE

The fourth, heart chakra represents our love relationships on ahorizontal plane with persons, places, and all life forms as well as ourlove relationship (or lack of it) for ourselves. The high heart represents

our unconditional love on a vertical plane with our higher dimensionalguides and higher dimensional expressions of SELF.

The high heart does not totally open until we have traveled into theCrown Chakra to join with our completion, the fifth dimensionalexpression of our Divine Complement. However, grounding of unconditional love into our third dimensional heart greatly expands ourconsciousness and heals our “broken heart.” I will talk about theopening of my lower heart here, and later, talk about the experience of opening my high heart.

In 1985 I was still receiving spiritual communications from LongIsland, New York. Several of the Ascended Masters who channeledthrough the Long Island “church” offered a gift to their readers tocome into the fourth dimension each night for one month (the harvestmonth of October) to have one veil of illusion removed per night. Idecided to accept that invitation. Each morning I channeled myexperiences of the night before. This was my first book, Thirty Veils of Illusion . During this month, my beloved grandmother was dying.

It was as if I was crossing over just like her, only I would still maintain

my physical body. As my heart chakra was opening, I was consciouslyand clearly bridging the gap between my world and the higher worlds.The bridge was not only created with the information that I received,but also with the love that I was able to feel coming to me from thefourth dimension. This experience also gave a voice to my inner SELFthat had been silenced by my struggles to “survive” and “fit in.”

I also traveled to Long Island to meet everyone that I had beencommunicating with for over a decade. Somehow, that experiencedisillusioned me. They were all “just people.” This was the beginning of

a long lesson that I was to learn about integrating the spiritual life intomy physical life. Since I was unable to love me for who I was—rightnow—I needed to believe that all spiritual people where somehowsainted. This belief allowed me to “not be good enough” to be aMaster.

I hope that the readers of this journal will see that I am just a regularperson. Even though I truly did have all the experiences documented

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FINAL INITIATION FOR THE FOURTH STEP

Interestingly, although the heart chakra is about being in relationships,my final initiation was about being alone. Isn’t that where all ourrelationships begin—with ourselves? My husband had an opportunity totake a job where he would be away. We would only be able to seeeach other on Sunday afternoons when he would be in town.

For months before that, my inner voice had been whispering, “Youknow, you never have lived alone.” Well, now I faced that challenge.We needed the money, my husband needed the experience and Ineeded to totally focus on my children—at last. Little did I know thatmy real focus would be on myself and my life long battle with

depression.

All my life my depression had hidden within my emotional dramas,mental challenges, and my busy, busy life. Now, I was not workingvery hard, the kids were in school or otherwise involved in beingteenagers and for a lot of time I was alone—that is alone with mydepression. I could, of course, find more dramas to tack mydepression onto, but the reality is that depression is a mind/bodyillness, and I had been depressed since I was a child. Since I was achild I had felt different and alone. I wanted to go “Home,” but I didn’tknow where Home was. I only knew that it was not in that house, orthat planet or even that dimension.

The physical world had always scared me. Too many people weremean, and I lived in constant fear of not fitting in. Of course thisstruggle was silent. To someone looking from the outside, I probablylooked like a “lucky,” middle class girl, in a nice home, from a goodfamily. However, as a teenager I had daily thoughts about suicide and

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ocean. The last dream I had had was that I had moved into my newhome. It was blocks from a beautiful ocean cove and had a great view.In the dream, I was getting ready to go to bed and was walking to lockthe door when a feeling of deep, joyous thanksgiving overcame me. Ifell to my knees and said, “Thank you God for this beautiful home!”

I went to the house that the realtor had told me about. It had beenvacant for 6 weeks, and the owners were desperate to rent it. I knewthat it was within my price range—barely. When I went there, I sawthat it was 1-½ blocks from the beach. I entered the house alone, asmy husband was still working away and walked up a strangely familiarstairway. When I entered the living room I saw a gorgeous view. I fellto my knees and said, ”Thank you God for this beautiful home.” It wasa few days later when I was standing on the beach with my friend thatI remembered the dream because it was exactly the same cove as inmy dream.

When we moved into our new house I installed the “no junk” law.Anything that was old or unnecessary did not make the cut into thenew house. While during my final shipment of boxes to our new homeI heard my inner guidance say in a voice so clear it sounded physical,

“Congratulations, you have completed your karma with landlords.” Ilived in that house for almost seventeen years, and the house and thelandlords were always wonderful.

The initiation of my heart chakra allowed me to clear much of the old

fear and sorrow of not being in my true “Home” in the higherdimensions. It was through surrendering that fear to my higherexpression of SELF that I allowed the love of my heart to manifest aperfect “Home” in the physical world. Most important of all, I learnedthat HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS!

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Suddenly this gift seems like a curse. How could we return to our mundane life with this knowledge of completeness? We would becompletely and utterly different from everyone, or, at least, everyonethat we have known so far. We can tell no one, for they would think

we are arrogant or insane.

However, strangely enough, we don’t care what THEY think. We don’t need THEIR approval. We don’t fear THEIR contempt. We are totally confused, yet we don’t care. We don’t need to understand, and wedon’t need to—need. We are free—free of desire. There is nothing todesire because we have it all!

How can we function on the physical plane without the element of desire? With that question, a deep peace overtakes us. Yes, that is theanswer. Without desire, we will have peace—peace of mind, peace of emotions, and peace of body. Without desire, we will peacefully accept what our SELF, our Soul/SELF, assigns to us from moment to moment.There is no need to try or to struggle. All we have to DO IS remember that we ARE complete, and we are FREE!

If only we can love our SELF enough to release the habit of needing toknow that WE ALREADY HAVE IT ALL.

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THE CALL Arise my ones do hear my call

The time has come for one and all

To hear my plea, to know my nameI am the Goddess of this Earth plane

From high above our earth's vibrationsThere is assistance to save our nations

Listen now and do not fear The answers are for those who hear

And now, my ones, the time is nighThe Goddess needs you - hear my cry

For those who don't, I cannot saveOne is the master or the slave

The time has come to pick which side

One can no longer run nor hide

The Truth is now, the Power’s hereDo you follow Love or follow Fear?

Against my form no longer sinThis is the chance to begin again

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THE FIFTH STEP

WITHIN THIS MOMENT

For all of my lifeI have awaited this moment.

Within this moment I AM creation.

Within this moment I AM free.

Can I allow this moment

to nest in my heart and guard it with my

unconditional loveand forgiveness?

Can I now be whoI have always been—but forgot?

Can I remember the song of creation

and my own cry for life? A life in which I can learn

to remember. A life in which I can return

without leaving.

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“Yes,” I cry from the core of my being.

“I create all the knowingand I live all the seeing.”

Creativity ~ Becoming a Vessel of Light

When love has healed our past and calmed our thoughts andemotions, renewed hope enters our awareness. Creativity can thenenter our life, and we can begin to free the shackles of limitation that

were taken on during a life of separation from our SELF. If we canopen up our hearts and minds, we can allow the light of a newbeginning to take root in our consciousness and enhance our creativepotential.

However, first we must confront our fear of judgment, from others andfrom ourselves, so that we can be the vessel of light that has alwaysbeen our Destiny. To do that, however, we must be willing to change,and, in order to change, we must face the unknown. It is throughfacing the unknown that we are forced to call upon our innate, innerreserves of creative power. Fortunately, our growing relationship withour SELF can direct and guide us through the chaos that precedescreative transition.

TAKING THE FIFTH STEP

We see the fifth step before us, but we can’t recognize the stairway, asit flickers in and out of our reality, just like our creative power. Our

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urge to be creative tried to take hold when we were a child, but it wassomehow lost as we “grew up.” Finally, the vision of the stairway becomes clear and constant. These are the stairs leading to our first spiritual mentor.

Of course, for spirituality and creativity are both expressions of our inner light.

PERSONAL HISTORY, FIFTH STEPFIFTH CHAKRATIME FRAME 1988-1992

The fifth chakra governs creativity and I had lots of space,as my new home was much larger than my old one. Also,I had brought only the best of my furniture. I was to livehere with the children another year before my husbandreturned to work again in Los Angeles, but he loved thehouse as much as I did.

SPIRITUAL LIFE

Along with my new home I gained a new spiritual teacher.I was introduced to him through one of my mentors atschool who had helped me greatly in learning to controlthe rush of psychic abilities that were freed when I

cleared my emotions.

This new teacher taught the pathway to Soul and introduced me to awhole new network of inner Guides with whom I could communicate. Ihad gained a degree of mastery over my emotions when my SELFcleared my second chakra and a degree of mastery over my thoughtswith the clearing of my third chakra. Also, the opening of my heartchakra allowed me to live in a higher octave of the love vibration.Therefore, I could communicate more easily and clearly with higherand higher dimensions.

Upon each of the planes of the fourth dimension there are MysteryTemples where I would go during sleep and in meditation to learn. Ivoraciously read all the information that this path offered andintegrated the lessons into my own consciousness by writing shortstories. However, when I met my new teacher, an old patternreturned. As with all of the spiritual teachers I had had, I placed themupon a pedestal of perfection.

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Then when I realized that, no matter how high they were spiritually,they were still human and had problems like the rest of us, they wouldcrash from their pedestals and I would be disillusioned. The reality is, Iwas still trying to escape the third dimension and all of its inherent

problems and weaknesses. I was still seeking the perfect place where Icould hide from the challenges of a polarized reality.

CAREER LIFE

During the opening of my fifth chakra, my careers blossomed. I gainedmore and more psychotherapy clients while my audiology practiceremained constant. I had money, lots of it, but I also had debts, lots of them. My journey of self-discovery continued, and as I taught others, Ilearned more about myself. I settled into a comfortable pattern andstayed there until a little voice whispered in my ear, “You haven’tmade a change for a long time.”

PERSONAL LIFE

My daughter went off to college the same year that my husband cameback to Los Angeles. Then, we had only one teen at home. I workedhard, but I had time to go to my son’s athletic events, take art classesand travel. Then, one day I looked in the mirror and realized thatfacing my depression, having my depression, had been fattening. Withthe depression pretty well managed and my thyroid gland activated by

my SELF clearing the fifth chakra, I was able to lose weight and keep itoff—until menopause.

However, my body had more to say about the stress of ten years of hard work. What it had to say was, “When you are asleep, you expressyour stress by grinding your teeth. When you grind your teeth, youcrack them. When you crack them, eventually you get an abscess.”

Nothing I had experienced was as painful as an abscessed tooth. And Ihad two of them. One abscess flared during a thirteen-hour

international plane flight. There was nothing I could do but takeTylenol and hold an ice pack to my face. The other abscess pesteredme for months; I was saving money and being in denial. Eventually,one morning at 1:30 AM the pain was unbearable, and I put in anemergency call to my dentist. “Take it out,” I cried. “Don’t try to saveit, just take it out. I can’t stand the pain.”

With both painful experiences, my “imagination” kept projecting a

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scene of myself in some ancient time telling a secret which I hadvowed to keep. It seems that many others suffered from my action.My memory also raced through time after time when I was unable toallow my true SELF to be expressed. I felt the inner pain of squelchingmy pure creative force for fear that I would be judged. And who was

my greatest critic? Me!

FINAL INITIATION OF THE FIFTH STEP

What did the pain mean? Hadn’t I already released my inner pain? Theanswer was NO. Becoming a spiritual being does not mean that you

cease being human. The spiritual path is not an escape. It is not arecipe for perfection. The spiritual path is a commitment to face all of your self so that you can FEEL all of your self, even if it hurts. Then,and only then can you learn to love ALL of your self?

My final initiation was to learn that until I could love my self, I couldnot creatively express my SELF. I could assist others by giving service,listening and communicating intimately—about them. But I could notrelease the creative force that was ME. I was afraid. I was afraid thatTHEY would judge me. Unfortunately, the “they” that had once beenoutside of me had taken permanent residence inside my head. It wasthe pain that made me realize that fact.

In some parallel reality/past life I had “let my truth out,” but I haddone so in a manner that had hurt many others. I had suffered greatlyfor that mistake, and brought it with me into this life. I had to live mychildhood in an environment where I was different and not quite “goodenough.” I learned very young to keep my SELF a secret. Now, I was

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longing to express that hidden SELF so intensely that it hurt.

I had been journaling since the early eighties, and it had been slowlyevolving to short stories and poems. It was in 1992 that the damburst. I was leaving for Kauai, Hawaii the following day and looking for

a journal to pack. I found an old one that had the beginnings of astory, which I believed to be a past life. I read the first paragraph andthought to add a sentence or two. Well, hours later I put the pendown.

For the entire vacation, story after story—life after life, came throughlike a storm. As I furiously wrote my stories, I deeply, intimately FELTall the emotions. I lived and relived the people on the page. I wrote,painted, lay on the beach and swam in the warm ocean. One day whileswimming, I decreed that these stories would one day be a book. Icalled to my SELF to give me the diligence to complete my task andthe courage to present my creation when the task was completed.That book is Visions from Venus . I started writing it in 1992 and self-published it in 2001. For my final initiation I learned that the core of creativity is PATIENCE.

THE FIFTH PILLAR OF LIGHT

We want to step onto the fifth step, but something stopsus. It seems innocent enough. But somehow, we can’t move towards it. There is always something else wehave to do, or think. We can’t forget the fifth pillar, but we can’t confront it either. We know that there issomething inside that crystal that we deeply want, but we are afraid that we may actually get it.

Well, we have run out of excuses and reasons. Now it istime to look inside. Slowly and tentatively we walk to theedge of the pillar. We notice that the closer we get, thetaller the pillar appears to become. By the time we areclose enough to look into the crystal atop it, we have to

stand on our tiptoes in order to see inside of it.

As we peer into the crystal, we see nothing, but we hear a soft melody. The tone is as clear as a flute and as free as a bird. Themelody strikes a resonant cord deep within us of something longforgotten yet still familiar. Pictures and memories flash across our mind as the melody floats in and out of our perception.

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The tone alters our consciousness, and the melody draws us in. At first we resist, but gradually, we relax and allow the melody to lift us upabove our constraints and limitations and carry us like a feather in thewind.

We discover that if we surrender to the melody, we can soar high like abird. We even find our wings hidden deep within our heart. We spread them wide and flap them freely as we float on the current of sound.

We see a ball of radiant light rising just above the horizon. The warmthof it entices us, and the power of it frightens us, but we are riding thecurrent and cannot deviate from our course. We are on a journey beyond our control that is directed from some unknown place deepwithin our SELF, deep within our Soul.

As the light comes closer, the tone becomes louder. The very atmosphere pulsates with light and vibrates with sound. It is becomingincreasingly difficult to fly through the turbulence, but we find it impossible to alter our route in any way. Furthermore, we are losing all sense of boundaries. Everything, including us, is becoming a blur.However, the tone remains clear and the source of light a strong magnet that pulls us deeper and deeper into its center.

There is something there that is ours—that is our SELF. We can feel it approaching. The tone grows almost unbearably loud until we can nolonger hear it, as we have become the tone. We experience our SELF

without form. We are a formless Being of light and sound. We embracethe many colors of our light and dance with the melody of our sound.

Now we know the gift within the ball of light. It is our creative potential—pure and infinite. It is the potential to create and to becreated, potential to BE the light and BE the sound.

Our journey stops suddenly and all is still. We are in the Center, the eyeof the hurricane. The light is there, but only as a potential. The sound is there, but only as a potential. The stillness is infinite. All about us is

nothing, yet potentially everything. WE are nothing and potentially everything. The calm is complete, the stillness absolute. Time and space cease to exist. Memory and cognition are gone. Emotions areimpossible. This is calmer than the void, softer than the light, quieter than the sound. We become the stillness and become the potential.

Gradually, the stillness becomes a whisper and the light a flicker. Theawaking melody catches our wings, and we begin to fly again. We are

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returning now. We do not know to where or to what, but the potentialsare infinite!

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FAERIE NIGHT

In Faerie night the land is far The home of all is on a star

The moon is bright, but gives no light Because it hides the Ones from sight

To look upon a fairy’s play Will mean you see not one more day

Their secret is now kept within A veil of darkness oh so thin

And, if you wish to pierce this veil,On a moonbeam ever shall you sail

The fairies guard your secret lifeThat can’t withstand a world of strife

But, in that realm your light does hideYou keep it there, deep down inside

Dare you risk that others know This light within, and let it show?

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Show the fairies, show their play Release your fear and pave the way

The way to know and see around Another world that does abound.

From the corner of a young child’s eye,Its always there - its not a lie.

Could it be safe to say its real? Bu,t if you do, will you break a seal?

A seal between the life that hides And the life outside that rants and cries

You can’t hold back, not one more day For of this place, you now must now say,

“I release all secrets and hold them bright.I show the world my inner light.”

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THE SIXTH STEP

THE POND

I walk to the edge of a still pond. When I see my reflection, many memories fill my mind. Some of these memories are good and some of them make me feel uncomfortable. But, all of them are mine, my universe that I carry inside my consciousness. I am the ruler of thisinner universe, as well as its most humble servant.

This inner reality affects my outer world in every way. It is a mirror, an

echo, a cause, and a new beginning. If I can remain clear and calm, I am able to hear a voice speaking to me from deep within this inner realm. But, too often, my outer world pulls me away from my calm, my mirror and my new beginning.

If I could observe myself as clearly as looking into this still pond, I could remain objective and not be buffeted about by the storms of my outer life. Then, I could remain clear and unbiased, so that my reactions to my outer world are based on my truth and not on my illusions, or theillusions of others.

However, the winds of turmoil of my outer life make small ripples on theimage of my self that distort my perceptions and make my reactions tolife erratic and unreliable. It is obvious when the external winds areblowing. Unfortunately, there are also the internal winds which are muchmore illusive. When the inner winds blow, what appears to be a trueimpression can actually be a distortion.

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I have to have an inner reference point, an icon of purity, which is aboveall danger of disruption. Then, when I become distracted or confused,this reference can remind me of the truth, the truth of my SELF. As I hold this thought, the Sun rises above the trees and shines directly ontothe water, obscuring my reflection on the surface of the pond. I turn to

look into the rising Sun and the world around me blurs, as well.

I close my eyes, but still the spectacle of light holds true inside me. It remains constant and bright. Even as the afterimage fades, the memory of the golden ball of light is as clear as the direct sight of it. That which I know outside of me, is inside as well. I am so sure that I can trust thisgolden light that I fall into it in complete surrender. In response, it fallsinto me, surrenders to me.

The Sun’s golden glow is warm upon my face and calm within my mind.The light encompasses me and makes me feel love, Unconditional Love.I allow the light to absorb me, and, gradually, a semblance of eyesappears. I stare into them, and they envelope me. The eyes sooth my fears and ease my mind. They radiate pure love. And, they are familiar.Yes, they are my eyes, my truth, my Soul!

Nothing, inner or outer, could disturb the purity of this vision, for it isthe vision of my true SELF—the ONE who I AM!

Imagination ~ The Joining of Worlds

Imagination is that portion of us that is childlike. It isn’t real. Or is it?Could it be that our imagination is a powerful tool that we can use tomold our dreams for the future into the NOW? If we can take the risk

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and enter the unknown, we may find that we are so important that ourimagination is the thread that ties us to our Soul/SELF and hence, toall of life. Through our imagination, we can create a portal betweenour outer world and the rich inner worlds of Soul where everything ispossible—if only we can imagine.

TAKING THE SIXTH STEP

We see the sixth stair before us on a stairway that disappears into theclouds. We know this stairway well for it lives in our imagination and leads to our inner universe on the “other side.” We have kept this

passageway a secret so that the pain and fear of our outer life could not invade our inner sanctuary. Now, the clouds are thinning and alight shines down the stairway beckoning us to join these worlds. Canwe allow our inner SELF to shine upon mundane life, just as the light

shines through the clouds?

We will have to climb the stairs to find the answer.

PERSONAL HISTORY, SIXTH STEPTHE SIXTH CHAKRA1992-1994

My SELF rested in my fifth chakra for a long time whenthe whisper of “Time for a change,” became a shout.

“Get ready for a bumpy ride,” the inner voice said. Thenext two years would be filled with change.

SPIRITUAL LIFE

All of my life I had a very vivid imagination of past lives,which I now perceive as parallel realities. When myawakening process first began, past lives came to me inrushes. I had dreams and when I awoke an inner voicewould say, “This is a dream of another life.” But nothing

was as extreme an experience of my other lives thanwhen my SELF entered my sixth chakra.

I often use the term “other lives,” avoiding the term past lives,because all lives are actually simultaneous and happening in differentspace/time quadrants. With my sixth chakra clearing and opening, Iwas able to psychically travel into the fourth dimension. From thefourth dimension, I was out of space/time as it is known on the third

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dimension and could easily view any other third dimensional life that Idesired.

However, I did not desire to visit them. They came to me so stronglythat I HAD to write them down. These other expressions of my SELF

were calling me to hear their stories. While I wrote each life, I lived itsimultaneously with my present life. I was experiencing my first multi-dimensional awareness. There had always been other lives on theedges of my consciousness, but now they came in full force.Unfortunately, all of them were sad with unhappy deaths filled withpain and disillusionment.

Many years earlier I had received an inner message that said, “Onceyou have healed enough of your pain in this life, your other lives willrush forward for the same healing.” Well they were rushing forward allright. Many times, I found it quite difficult to live two lives at once. Thegood part was, as I wrote these lives, I found resolution for theconflicts, comfort for the pain and love for the fear. These lives wereput together in books one, Visions from Venus and two, ReconstructingReality .

One of my most powerful and disturbing experiences was when I re-experienced my first life in a third dimensional body at the fall of Atlantis. I felt, in every fiber of my being, the ripping apart of myessence as only my female polarity was able to enter my thirddimensional, physical body. I lived again the deep sorrow and

abandonment when my other half, my Divine Complement, left me.When I wrote through the feelings of that life, I released a deep painin my heart that had haunted me my entire life. A few days aftercompleting the writing of my life during the total destruction of Atlantis, a strong earthquake hit Los Angeles, where I live.

When I first wrote Visions from Venus , it was from the perspective of the fourth dimension. Later, when my SELF integrated into my crownchakra and my third eye had opened, I rewrote the book from theperspective of the fifth dimension. The entire process covered many

years. I found that as I healed each “past life”, that a part of mypresent life was healed as well. Eventually, I was able to access livesin which had reunited with my Divine Complement and moved as aunified being into the fifth dimension upon my death.

Perhaps, it was to reliving of my own ascension lives that caused meto, again, become disillusioned with a spiritual teacher. But also, andmost important, my inner guidance told me that my writing and

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meditating had brought me to the threshold of the Soul Plane—thefifth dimension. Once there, I would no longer have physical teachers.My instruction would come from higher dimensional Beings and frommy inner, Multidimensional SELF.

CAREER LIFE AND PERSONAL LIFE

My career life and personal life are presented together here becausemy body (personal life) demanded changes in my career, and I had tolisten.

When my son went off to college, I found I had a lot more energy toput into my career. After battling the empty nest syndrome of, “Mybabies are gone!” to “I am free!,” I settled into making more mentalspace for more psychotherapy clients. It worked, and soon I had moreclients then ever. However, simultaneously, I still had my audiologycareer. I was working too much, again! Meanwhile, I was living twolives at one time and going through menopause.

This time I had to let my body take charge of my career rather thanthe other way around. Ladies, if anyone tells you menopause is abreeze that person is a man! I had PMS ALL the time, ten hot flashesan hour (highlighted by red face, perspiration, and a new kind of bodyodor) and woke up five times a night. That is, if I could sleep at all.

Well, I was a good new age, ex-hippie. I was going to take the natural

route. I scheduled massages once a week, I got a personal trainer, Iwent to a homeopathic doctor, an oriental medicine doctor and achiropractor. NOTHING WORKED. The pituitary gland in my sixthchakra was activated and my biochemistry was OFF. It was the 50-60hour weeks and the no sleep that finally did me in. I surrendered towestern medicine and started taking the hormones. However, I wasstill tired all the time.

Finally, I sprained my right ankle and put my back out. Was the loadtoo heavy for me to step forward? I had to take the leap. I couldn’t

carry two careers (while I was also living at least two lives at a time)any longer. One of my careers had to go. There was no question whichcareer I would choose to keep: the counseling. But was it really givingme enough money by itself? I did have a lot of debts. My body said,

“Jump. You have been sitting on the fence too long. You are using meup.”

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FINAL INITIATION FOR THE SIXTH STEP

The act of having enough confidence in myself, my inner guidance,and in my own vision of my destiny was my initiation. MyMultidimensional Soul/SELF was awakening in my sixth chakrashowing me the big picture. I had to believe in it. I had to trust that Iwould love my work and be able to survive financially. That meant thatI had to believe that I deserved to make money at something that Ifound creative and interesting.

When I quit the audiology career, I had lots of time. For quite a fewyears I had had more money than time, so I went to a lot of places inmy outer world. Now there was no extra money to spend for travel,but the journey inside was free. Inside I went. My meditations hadtaken me through the fourth dimension and I was knocking on thedoor of the fifth dimension. When I first arrived, I met the “Greeter” who worked with me. He was a guardian of the Threshold whoseservice was to assist newcomers.

I was initially blind and deaf on the fifth dimension. My perceptionswere not yet calibrated to that vibration. I had trained my innerperceptions to perceive the fourth dimension, but I had not yetadapted to the higher frequencies of the fifth dimension. Also, thesensations of the fourth dimension are very bright and loud andsometimes feel almost physical. However, the sensations of the fifthdimension are subtle and illusive.

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Besides the Greeter, the only thing I could perceive for a while (awhile really has no meaning because there is no time in the fifthdimension) was the green grass. Eventually, I could see a swirlingvortex of yellow and red, only with a different tint to the colors. The

Greeter said that that was the actual fifth dimension. However, it tookme a long “third-dimensional time” to get there.

In due course, the Greeter told me that I was ready to go to a fifthdimensional “town” that was located on the threshold area. Thisexperience was almost too much for me. For one thing, once in thetown, I had an experience of unity and complete equality beyondanything I had ever felt. While traveling in the fifth dimensional waveof consciousness, I felt complete, unconditional acceptance andunconditional love. The feeling was so blissful that it almost hurt.

Also, there was no hierarchy system. There was no one who wasbetter or worse. I remember feeling something dislodge in my mindwhen I realized that, after this experience, I would not have anotherphysical, spiritual teacher. Now I would have to seek my answersinside my SELF.

When I was in the “town”, I had some problems. In the fifthdimension, every thought and emotion is instantly expressed. All of these new sensations were a bit frightening to me, and I created a bigmonster with my fear. My fear created something that made me even

more fearful. (By the way, the monster looked just like the monster Iused to see in my nightmares as a child.) However, the other people inthe “town” understood that I was a newcomer, and, just as theyunconditionally accepted me, they unconditionally accepted my

“monster.”

The re-creation of my childhood monster told me that I needed moreinstruction. I told the Greeter that I would like to study with a womansince, back on earth, I was a woman, and I wanted to experience fifthdimensional, female power. He obligingly took me to my new inner

teacher. This woman was the leader of a small group of newcomerslike myself. I was to learn a powerful lesson in this group.

The leader was teaching us that the fifth dimension was beyond timeand space. The group was in a circle and we were instructed to mergewith the person next to us. For a “moment” a man and I were inexactly the same time and space, yet we completely maintained ourindividuality.

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I returned from my meditation and realized I was late for a thirddimensional appointment. I rushed out the door and down the stairs tomy garage. I drove out slowly as I always do, thank heavens, but abicyclist on the sidewalk hit my car with his bike and rolled over the

hood of my car. I was horrified. How could I have such a spiritualexperience and then kill someone?

I rushed to the man, who wasn’t dead, and took him into my house togive him a little first aid. At that moment, our eyes met and I realizedthat it was him—the man in my meditation. We had been in the sameplace at the same time in the third dimension just as we had been inthe fifth dimension. I didn’t tell the man of my experience because itseemed too weird, and I was afraid of judgment.

I saw the man just one more time. He came back and seemed to bewaiting by my garage. He was fine, but it had cost him $1,000 at thechiropractor. It had cost me exactly $1,000 to fix my car.

My initiation/lesson was to release all judgment of who is, and who isnot, “spiritual.” This man did not appear to be at all enlightened. Hisbicycle was old, and he looked poor and displaced. However, he was atexactly the same place spiritually that I was. Just as we can’t judge abook by its cover, we can’t judge a multidimensional person by his orher third dimensional life. I had learned another lesson in humility.

THE SIXTH PILLAR OF LIGHT

We wait what appears to be a very long “time” before weeven attempt to climb the stair to the sixth pillar.Something about it is foreboding. Probably, it is thePower. The Power of this pillar is so intense that it frighten us. Fortunately, we know that we cannot resist it any longer. It is time NOW to make that single stepthat we so deeply believe will change our life forever. We

have felt the change coming for quite some time.Something inside is going away to be replaced by something else that has not yet been born. Thistransition frightens us and halts our forward motion.

As we raise our foot to take this simple step, which will complicate every area of our life, we reflect on all that has happened so far. Like the moment before death, our

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Now we will have to look inside the pillar's crystal to see what is there.We inch forward and have to stretch our body to our tallest SELF, as this

pillar is much taller than the others. Quickly, before we lose our nerve,we look into the crystal. Initially, we see only swirling Golden Light that is more beautiful than anything we could ever imagine. The Golden Light

moves in clockwise circles as though it follows a plan. Yes, something istaking shape. Something is being created within the Golden Light.

It is a face. No, wait. It is OUR face. But, the face is perfect. Not perfect in its shape, age, expression, or any other gauge of perfection that hasbeen offered in the past. The face is perfect because it is the Face of our SELF, our Multidimensional Soul/SELF. It is perfect because it is thearchetype of everyone and everything we have ever attempted to be inall of our lives. It is perfect because it is of the ONE! And, being of theONE, it is above judgments or polarities. It is not good, bad, beautiful,or ugly. IT SIMPLY IS. Therefore, it is PERFECT!

The face doesn’t have to be changed, improved, or altered. It only asksthat we accept and cherish it. It is beyond time and space. Therefore, it has no age or definite form. It exists because it is Truth. And, we cansee it because we have been brave enough to look. We have been braveenough to face our belief in our personal inadequacy and have chosen toNOT allow it to hold us back any longer. We have chosen to move on tothe next step knowing that our life will be inalterably changed.

We don’t know how life will be now, although, we are certain that it will

be different. We have looked into the face of true SELF, and in doing so,we have changed our self-image for all of eternity.

We no longer need to judge ourself. Therefore, we no longer need tofear judgment from others. Others may choose to accept us, or not. Weare free of their opinion, for we now KNOW our SELF, and others nolonger have the power to disrupt that knowing.

Of course, there is always habit. Habit can make us forget who we are.Habit can resurrect old behaviors that are now dead. Therefore, we will

have to look into the Face of our Multidimensional Soul/SELF every day and in every way. We will have to find our Face in the crystal, then inthe mirror, and in the faces of others. Then, we will find the Face of Soul in trees, rocks, birds, insects, fish, and in all of the creatures of Gaia.The Face of Soul is everywhere and in everything.

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Can we remember to see it? Can we remember to be who we are NOW and not who we used to be? Yes! We WILL” remember to remember!” If we forget, we will look into the Face of our SELF who will NOT judge usfor forgetting. Instead, we will be encouraged to remember toremember.

All we have to do is to take that one step and look into our own Face of Soul. Then everywhere, in everyone and in everything, will see their Face of Soul. This Face shines complete acceptance and therefore,complete love.

For love without acceptance, is like a face without a Soul.

And, that acceptance must begin with our self!

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MOMENTS

Moments in the meadow,moments by the pond.

Moments of a life gone by to set the sun upon.

When were all these moments? Wherever did they go?

For lives of stress and worry,

what is there now to show?

Maybe there's a moment,one that has not passed.

A special time of laughter that shall forever last.

That “NOW” is dawning in the east.The rays show round the bend.

For all of life to feel the light and blessings it may send.

For hidden in the momentsis the NOW that lasts forever.

A peace of mind and change of heart no stress, nor fear, can sever.

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To hold that light of hopeforever near the heart,

is to make a seal, a contract,which no one else can part.

And now, just what will happen? Now that it has started.

That which has been shut so tight,with Truth, it can be parted.

The puzzle is together.The secret, it is out.

The password has been spoken,in a whisper, not a shout.

The joining of our worlds,the ones inside and out,

bringing spirit into matter is what life’s all about.

With head high in the heavensand feet deep in the earth,we face a new beginning,

a cycle in rebirth.

Beyond all of the reasons,

the limits and the time,with awareness of our battles,our strife and our long climb.

The climb up to the topof that which has been sought.The making of our mountains

through feelings and through thought.

And where are these steep mountains,

we have worked so hard to make? These symbols upon whichwe have placed such high a stake.

These mountains they are madefrom the inside to the out. And, of this simple fact

we must not have a doubt.

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THE SEVENTH STEP

THE KISS

Dear Love, so soft and gentleYou kissed my lips today

Silent as a morning cloudYou came into my dream

You reached for me and pulled me throughThe limits of my mind

Then palm to palm, and heart to heart

The worlds between us blurredBut with your kiss my world came back

And I was left alone

Oh, but alone shall never beWhat once it was for me

For all my life the memory of Your kiss upon my lips

Shall draw me back into your world,

The place where we are ONE

In that Oneness I shall knowThe Being that I AM

With open heart I think with loveAnd love with peaceful mind

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Polarities extend beyondThe limits they have known

And you and I shall live insideTHE SILENCE OF OUR LOVE

Freedom ~ Living in Surrender

At first, Soul may seem far away and separate from our everyday life.But, once our imagination has paved a path and initiated acommunication with us, we can begin to bring our Soul into ourmundane world as the purist expression of our Awakened SELF. Thisbringing in of the energy and guidance of our Soul/SELF is bestaccomplished if we can totally surrender to it. Our Soul is the portion of us that our inner child has never forgotten. Can we believe as adultswhat we knew as children? Can we believe that we deserve our Soul’spresence in our daily life and allow it to work within and through us? Canwe accept the guidance that our Soul constantly and consistently offers?

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There are many questions to be asked. To find our own answerswe must go inside—inside ourselves. The answers may change withevery quest. It is this search that makes up our life.

TAKING THE SEVENTH STEP

The seventh and final stairway is before us. Where will it take us and who would we become when we arrive? The stairway does not look at all familiar, yet it evokes a loneliness deep inside of us. We want totravel up these stairs, but at the same time, we fear them. We close our eyes to calm our self and take a deep breath. The awareness comesupon us slowly like a misty dawn and fills us with the joy of the first day of spring after a long winter. We know the stairway now. Actually, wefeel it. This is the stairway HOME. We listen carefully to a silent call that tugs at our Soul. No, it doesn’t tug at our Soul—it IS our Soul.

Now that we hear our Soul’s call, can we surrender to its Wisdom?

PERSONAL HISTORY, SEVENTH STEPSEVENTH CHAKRA1994-1996

It was 1994, and my connection with my inner worlds hadgiven me the courage to let go of the “what ifs” and livemore in the “now.” I was slowly gaining the wisdom toallow each moment to unfold before me, at least moreoften.

SPIRITUAL LIFE

My meditations continued like a serial story with eachinstallation picking up where the last one let off. Mylessons with the fifth dimensional group continued, and Ihad learned by now to better perceive with my fifthdimensional senses. In one very special meditation theinner teacher took me aside and said, “Follow me.” I did,

and she took me to a beautiful garden with a circularpond with a waterfall at the far end.

My teacher instructed me to enter the pond and swim to the waterfall.When I dove into the “water,” I realized that it was liquid light and feltlike swimming in silk. The water shimmered with a silver sheen andcreated a soft melody as I moved through it. Also, I could breathe itlike we breathe oxygen on Earth. The water felt like a welcoming

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womb, full of hope and expectation. Would this water also take me toa new life?

I swam in this pool for what seemed like a lifetime until, at last, thesound of the waterfall broke my reverie. The sound beckoned me to

enter it, to merge with it. There was a secret there, a promise. Thispromise made my heart leap and my mind race with myriad memoriesof loss, pain, joy, and love.

Without my even knowing, I was suddenly in front of the waterfall.There was a small ledge of rock so that I could face the waterfall andlook into it, like a mirror. Yes, there was a reflection. Was it of me, orwas someone on the other side of the water? My heart expandedbeyond the limits of my form, as my mind asked that question.

Something or someone familiar, more familiar than me, was on theother side of the waterfall. Could I join this person? Is that what he, orshe, wants? Upon further inspection, I realized that it was a male, yetso like me that he was a male counterpart of me. I could wait nolonger. With one step, a step that I have waited for all of time tomake, I stepped through the waterfall.

It seemed like forever before I had walked through the falling liquidlight. When you have waited lifetimes, how long does it take to make asingle step? Then, we were face to face. In a flash of radiant joy, Irealized that the person was my Divine Complement, the other polarity

of me that I had felt my entire life.

We stood face-to-face and heart-to-heart. Naturally our lips met in ourSoul’s kiss, and we merged into one being. I/we were the complete,androgynous, fifth dimensional being that we had always been.

Time stopped, space disappeared. I was Home. We were Home.

Then a hedge, which I had not noticed before, opened up in awelcoming manner. A memory from this life’s childhood flooded my

mind. There was another hedge. It was at my Grandmother’s house,and I would climb through it to play with my very first friend.

Now, with my first friend in ALL of my lives, we walked through thehedge, arm in arm, into the higher planes of the fifth dimension.

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CAREER LIFE

There is a natural inflow and outflow of life. Being self-employed mostof my life, I have experienced this most obviously in my career. Livingnext to Mother Ocean, I have always likened that inflow and outflow to

the ocean’s waves.

When the waves are pulling back into the ocean it is best to go intothe water. I can, of course, go into the water when the waves arecrashing forward, but there will be much resistance. Once in the waterit is best to return to the shore riding the force of the shore-boundwaves. If I try to go against the wave, I will again meet resistance.

It is the same in life. There are times of inflow when we are naturallydrawn to go inside to learn and to prepare for the time of ouroutflow/“ride.” During inflow, our primary focus is on our inner life asour outer life is usually familiar and unchanging. While following theoutflow we are busy “doing” in the world and often find it difficult tofind the time to go inside. My career was still in inflow. Gradually, Iwas gaining more clients, but I had lots and lots of time to write.

All of my life I had wanted to go away somewhere so that I could do “something.” I had envisioned myself going far away to write. But theUniverse taught me again and again that the only place I need to go iswithin.

PHYSICAL BODY

Finally, my body had calmed down. The hormones had assisted thepituitary gland of my sixth chakra in its transition. My SELF was nowawakening in my Crown Chakra. In fact, this awakening occurred whenI met my Divine Complement behind the waterfall.

The pituitary gland is known as the Seat of the Mind and the pinealgland of the seventh chakra is known as the Seat of the Intuition. Myintuition was becoming a part of my body and my everyday life. The

pineal gland was now preparing to combine its essence with thepituitary gland to awaken my Third Eye. When it did, I began my finalinitiation.

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FINAL INITIATION FOR THE SEVENTH STEP Since I was writing more, I had finally purchased a computer and hadbecome comfortable with it. My seventh grade typing class had paidoff, because I did not have to look at the keys. I had always avoidedtyping because I went too fast, just like I did in my life, and made toomany mistakes, just like I did in life. With computers, typos are noproblem as they can be easily corrected.

My written meditations told me to write with the computer so that Icould close my physical eyes to see with my Third Eye, and quicklywrite down what I was experiencing. What I received wascommunication from the Brother- and Sisterhood of Light. Theyinitiated me into multidimensional Cosmic Consciousness and took meon a journey through the vortex. (This journey is documented in theDreams and Aspirations Door of the Conscious Section.) In this

journey I met my own future, fifth dimensional, androgynous self,Kepier. I also met the Arcturians, who were to be my primary innerguides.

My initiation was, “how could I tell anyone about this?” Surely, I was

being delusional. Then I discovered the Internet and found that therewere a lot of people, all over the world, who were just like me!! Therewas an opportunity for me to enter a college Website and “come out of the closet.”

All my life I had kept my spiritual life a secret. I had never had manypeople in my life who shared the same experiences that I had, and Iwas still afraid that I would be judged—like I had judged my own

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spiritual teachers. How could I go public? Maybe people would think Iwas crazy? Or, maybe people would not even care! It was the “notcaring” that happened. I think my log-in counter read 250 when thesite went off-line. I had probably logged into it 100 of those 250 timesto check the counter.

My test was to not “need to be acknowledged,” but instead toacknowledge myself. A few people connected with me, and I learnedthat it was more important to have the courage to try than to besuccessful. Most importantly, I had come out. I had publicly stated, “Iam a multidimensional being and SO ARE YOU!”

I had stepped upon the Seventh Step to Soul, but my process of awakening had not ended. I had met my Divine Complement, myfuture SELF and the Arcturians. Now, I had to ground all theseexperiences in my third dimensional life.

THE SEVENTH PILLAR OF LIGHT

We are very near the top now. The seventh pillar stands just beyond our reach. It has taken us a whileto resume our journey because the sixth pillar demanded changes in our physical life before we could continue. Now we believe, or at least hope, that we areready to approach the seventh and final pillar.

As we step onto this last step, and walk towards the pillar, an overwhelming doubt engulfs us. All the old feelings of inadequacy threaten to overwhelm us again.With tremendous will power, we push them aside and

promise our self that we are ready for this step. Abattle rages inside us as confidence and inadequacy areat war. Finally, confidence wins and we move forward to look into the seventh crystal.

It is difficult to see anything in the crystal because our attention driftsoff whenever we look into it. When we return, we cannot remember where we have been. This happens time after time, until we becomeexhausted from the effort of trying to stay focused. Strangely enough,when we finally give up trying, we succeed. We look into the crystal onthe pillar and, as usual, drift off. But, as we do so, we manage to stay aware of our experience.

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We feel our self being lifted up, higher and higher, until the step, the pillar, and all that we have formerly identified as our self are far below. And then, they are all gone. We float for what seems a very long time,but may be only a moment. It is difficult to determine because time isnot as we have always measured it.

We are not alone, however. Many lights that have the “feel” of livingbeings lovingly surround us. The “lights” flicker in and out of many different forms. When we look, we find that we, too, are a light beingwhose form changes with each thought and emotion. We embrace thecompanionship of these obviously caring Beings. In response to our acceptance, they surround and welcome us, as if we have just returned HOME after a long, long journey. In fact, the light beingsactually appear to be our family, welcoming us Home. Within the samemoment, many familiar messages enter our consciousness.Remarkably, we are able to differentiate each message from theothers.

Suddenly, we realize—we ARE Home—Home at last. We are in the fifthdimension, the realm of Soul. The rules of this realm are totally different from those of the physical world. There is no movement, nogoing from place to place. We are at one place, then, as we desire it,we are at another place. There is also no cause and effect, no chain of reaction. What is—IS—and, each place’s springs instantly from our desire.

Interestingly, our desire is not a need. We have no needs becausenothing is lacking. If we think of something, someplace, or someone, it instantly IS. When we cease to think of it, it is NOT. We are the core of our reality, an island unto our SELF. On this island there is only the IS,the NOW, and the HERE.

We are far beyond surviving, fighting, experiencing, and even beyond creating. We are living in complete surrender. Divine Life is theexpression of our every breath. We know that if we allow our consciousness to fall, we will not remain in this reality. Still, old

habitual negative thoughts and feelings call to us from the depths of our memory.

“NO!” we cry. “Just as we have denied ourself this reality all of our life,we will now deny ourself the indulgence of doubts and fears.”

We know, though, that we cannot remain in this realm—yet. Our lifemission is not complete. This plane is to be our place of learning and

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regeneration. Here, we can remember who we truly are, and why wehave come to third dimensional Earth. We also know that, eventually,we will learn to keep a portion of our SELF awake within this realm.But it will take earth-time before we can keep the thread of continuousconsciousness from here all the way down the dimensional path to our

physical self.

We determine to accomplish this goal, and with that determination, wefeel a pull from our physical world. Fortunately, we know that we canreturn. We have found the way once, and now, we carry an inner compass to bring us back.

This compass is a memory, the memory of an essence,The essence of our true, Multidimensional Soul/SELF.

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and the power that can only be,as I live my life by being me.

Because I understand this visionI have the strength for this decision.

For as the hand fits in the gloveI surround myself with Peace and Love.

AWAKENING CONTINUES FOREVER

Our process of Spiritual Awakening continues forever, as Spirit isinfinite. Hence, we are infinite.

PERSONAL HISTORY1996—

When the pineal gland joined the pituitary gland to open my Third Eye,I looked at Visions from Venus and saw it, not from my fourth

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dimensional perspective, but instead, from my fifth dimensionalperspective. This book then became two books, Visions from Venus, AMultidimensional Love Story and Reconstructing Reality, More Visionsfrom Venus.

When I observed my other lives from a fifth dimensional perspective, Ibegan seeing my present life from a fifth dimensional perspective, aswell. This perspective began the process of grounding myMultidimensional Soul/SELF into my physical, earth vessel. Because of this grounding, my higher communications with the inner planesexpanded to include the higher expressions of my SELF in the fifthdimension and beyond.

Among these expressions of SELF are, Mytria—my fifth dimensionalPleiadian SELF; Jaqual—my fifth dimensional SELF from Antares;Franquoix—my Draconian/Arcturian hybrid fifth dimensional SELF;IlliaEm, my Arcturian eighth dimension and beyond Oversoul, andTarmaine—my non-manifest fifth dimensional and beyond SELF fromSirius B.

I wish to remind each reader that ALL of us have these connections. Iam no different than anyone else. It is just that I have awakenedenough to allow myself to remember, and connect with, these higherdimensional expressions of my Multidimensional SELF.

However, there was another extremely difficult challenge that I had

not expected—the opening of my High Heart. Although some of myfriends had suffered pain for months from the opening of their HeartChakra, my opening had been relatively pain free. Because of this, Iwas not prepared for the difficulty I experienced with the opening of my High Heart.

The High Heart is located just above the human heart and resonates tothe color pink. Whereas the human heart is the center of conditional,physical love, the High Heart is the center of unconditional love. Inorder for my High Heart to open, I had to heal a core belief that was

established with my first human incarnation.The leaky boat of my finances was sinking. I had to throw everythingoverboard that was not vital. I guess I could have gotten a “job,” butthat idea seemed as though I did not trust my Soul. I could only dowhat my heart loved doing, but first I had to release my shame—lotsand lots of shame. Why was I ashamed? I was ashamed because of my old indoctrination that I was not “good enough” or “successful”

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unless I made lots of money. In other words, a financial portfolio is thetrue measure of a person’s worth. Even worse, being in debt was anextremely shameful thing.

My body was responding to the shame and signaled the beginning of

my initiation. I became very ill with a lung infection during Christmas1997. I was so ashamed because I could not buy nice presents. I hadto learn that “I” was enough of a present, and that I, my being, mylove, was a great gift. This flew in the face of every core belief I hadbeen programmed with as a child. Unfortunately, I did not learn thislesson that Christmas and did not gift myself. In fact, I think I waspretty miserable to be around.

As a child, I received copious Christmas presents. Every year I feltashamed because I was getting presents when it was Jesus’s birthday.I would start the unwrapping vowing to think of Jesus and send Himlove with the opening of each present. However, I never wassuccessful. Somewhere in the flurry of excitement of physical “stuff” Iwould forget my vow and forget completely about Jesus. From thisearly experience, my desire for physical wealth became shameful tome. This belief that I could love God OR love physical wealth actuallystarted with my first incarnation and was repeated in life after life. Inthese many lives I was the ruthless conqueror driven by greed, or theconquered victim driven by fear and shame.

It took me the entire year of 1998 to release all this shame. The

shame that had begun with guilt about poor finances, expanded intoALL the shame I had ever felt in ALL my lives. Many of these liveswere as a woman. My lessons had been around the enslavement of mylove, my sense of unworthiness, and shame for what had been done tome and for what I had done to myself.

Many of us who have taken on female bodies in this life havevolunteered to assist in releasing the shame that the feminine energyhas accumulated from the eons of male domination and femalesubjugation. In order for Gaia to ascend into the fifth dimension, the

Goddess must be free to express Her full power. Then the polarities of masculine and feminine can be balanced and merge into the Oness of the fifth dimension.

It was not until that shame was released that I could open my HighHeart to Unconditional Love. This Unconditional Love had to be for myself first. After all, how could I give to others that which I did notpossess myself? Also, to love another unconditionally without

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unconditionally loving ourselves can turn us into a doormat. When welove ourselves unconditionally, we will not allow others to treat uspoorly, as we may do with human love.

Also, a vital component of unconditional love is unconditional

acceptance and unconditional forgiveness. Again, in order to give awaythese unconditional, fifth dimensional virtues, we must give them toourselves first. That is what took a year. How could I love, accept, andforgive myself—UNCONDITIONALLY?

My body struggled bravely through this process. The lung infection,heart chakra malady, returned two more times. In my entire life I hadnot been sick that often. However, I refused to leave my Path. I knewthat I had to trust. I knew that I had to “let go” and “letGod/Goddess.”

By late 1998 I was feeling better, emotionally and physically. It wasthen that I began to receive communications from ACEA (AllConsciousness of Earth’s Ascension). I also had a powerful present andlesson from Kepier, my future SELF. For my birthday on December 27,1998, she gave me the gift that would allow me to finally release mysecret belief that I could not be spiritual while having financialabundance.

Here is a part of that letter:

12-27-98 Happy birthday to me, this day marks the close of one of the moredifficult years of my life. I wish to take some time now to reflect uponwhat lessons I have learned so that I will not have to learn themagain, at least not in the same painful manner. I will ask Kepier for assistance…

Dear Kepier,Please assist me in understanding the lessons that I have learned thisyear and instruct me about fifth dimensional manifestation.

Dear One,I am pleased to assist you in both of your requests. First, allow me toadd one new lesson that you have learned this year, the lesson of humility. Humility is a very important quality for a Lightworker. You, aswell as the many others who wish to ground the fifth dimension intothe body of Gaia, are healing your third and fourth dimensional fearswith your fifth dimensional, unconditional love. It is in this manner that

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you shall create the reality that you so desire. Remember,

THE STRONGEST CREATIVE FORCE OF ALL CREATION ISUNCONDITIONAL LOVE

If you wish to create something, you must love it into your life. Youhave wished for more money, but you have continued to hate it, or beangry at and afraid of it. That is not love.

For your birthday—our birthday—for I now reside inside of you, I giveyou the gift of “LOVE OF MONEY.” Yes, money. Not financial freedomor reward—but MONEY. Money is a word that you have tainted withyour shame. Now love that word and love money.

Love attracts. Love heals. Heal your relationship with money by lovingit. Call on me often. I will continue to send you the feeling of “love of money” until you have healed your old relationship with money and have learned to love it into your life.

In response to your next question, the key to fifth dimensional manifestation is WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR MIND—YOU LIVE IN YOUR LIFE. If you can believe in your mind that you cannot have bothmoney and spirituality, then that belief becomes a reality.

On the other hand, if you believe that money does NOT limit your spirituality, than you can have both money and an awakened, spiritual

life in the same moment. Remember, you are creating your ownreality. An old belief that was created many lives ago, and reactivated in this childhood, can be released simply by ceasing to believe in it.

Within in a few months, my business had more than doubled, and Ihad plenty of money to live comfortably. I had cleared my third andfourth dimensional lives of shame and was able to keep my mindcentered on loving money. Whereas before I would say, “I am soafraid that I can’t get enough money.” I now would say, “When I getmy money I will spend it on…”

The money did come, and the shame was cleared. While my HighHeart was opening I had surrendered my first, second and third chakrato the Goddess because I knew that I had to be completely groundedto bring down my Power.

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My root chakra encouraged me to come out of hiding and to BE,openly and honestly, who I AM. My first step towards that was mywebsite www.multidimensions.com and the publication of my books,one of which, Thirty Veils of Illusion, was written over fifteen yearsago.

CONCLUSION

The process of my awakening took over 22 years. Part of the reasonfor the long journey is that the process started in 1974 when theresonant frequency of the planet was much lower. Now as the entireplanet is preparing for a conscious ascension into the fourth and fifthdimension, there is less vibrational and social resistance.

The other part is that I am a Capricorn. Slow and steady works for meso that I can learn to “use” each experience in my daily life. On theother hand, some people may have the entire awakening experience ina relatively short span of time. The children of the Baby Boomers werenot raised with the same social restraints that we had. Therefore, theycan awaken more quickly and easily.

Also, “Generation X” is much more able to express both masculine andfeminine energies, which is the vital component in the process of

awakening to SELF. The merging of the male and female energieswithin one form is the sign of completion of the awakening process andthe opening of the Third Eye. (Please see my other sitewww.multidimensions.com for more information on chakras, Kundaliniand the process of connecting to and integrating your MultidimensionalSELF).

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If I had not also had a career to serve as an expression for mymasculine energy, my body would not have fared as well as it did. Thismay not be true for all women, but as a Capricorn, it was true for me.I write my story because I believe that many others have had, or soonwill have the same experience, but they may not know what is

happening to them. I found great comfort in knowing that others haveshared my experiences. When I was first awakening, I read many,many autobiographies of people entering their Spiritual Path.

If we are uninformed regarding our process, we can suffer greatanxiety and depression. I have found this to be very true with mycounseling practice. In fact, a person may even think that they arehaving a nervous breakdown when, actually, they are actually having aSPIRITUAL INITIATION.

I would very much like to hear other people’s stories of awakening. Infact, I am creating a section on this site where those who are willingcan share their experiences, either anonymously or with their email, toencourage communication. We, the Lightworkers of Earth, have beenhiding ourselves too long. I have gotten great comfort and educationfrom others’ stories on the web. I hope that there are those who canbenefit from my story as well.

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What's next will surely matter,a beginning to an end.

The pieces fall in place now as the path winds round the bend.

SUMMARY

You may wonder what I have learned through my process of awakening. The answer is simple:

REALITY IS A PERSPECTIVE

There are as many versions of reality as there are differentperspectives of life. Through reading my story you may think that mylife changed quite a bit over the years, which is true to some extent.

But, mostly my outside life was much the same, and it was my beliefsthat changed. Then, as my beliefs changed, my expectations changed.Since, our perceptions are greatly guided by our expectations, as myexpectations changed, so did the manner in which I perceived myreality. Then, when my perceptions changed, my reality changed—because the reality we perceive is the reality we live .

Hence, reality is a perspective. For example, let us imagine that it is abeautiful day at the beach and we are walking along the pier. We hada good week at work, our family life is working well, and we feelcreatively fulfilled. Because we feel clear and balanced, we perceivereality as a glorious day on the pier and all is well in the world. Wechoose to look up into the clear, blue sky to see the puffy, whiteclouds slowly moving above us. We can focus on the laughter of children, the smell of delicious food in a nearby restaurant, and thehappy people who are also enjoying a relaxing day.

On the other hand, let us imagine, instead, that we are a homelessperson who has fallen down on the ground from destitution anddespair. In this case, because we are unclear and out of balance, wecan manage to look only at the littered sidewalk for signs of possible

food and the nearby trash can, which our empty bottle of cheap winehas rolled against. In this state of consciousness, or unconsciousness,we can hear only our own inner torment, feel only the gurglingsensation of our empty stomach, and see only the dark red, lower-astral mist that seems to lie on the sidewalk.

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Could these two people be living in the same city? Yes. In fact, theycould be standing next to each other, yet invisible in each other’sreality.

THE TOWER

Imagine reality as a seven-story tower with windows around each of the stories. Each of the seven stories of the tower represents adifferent frequency (hence, a different color), as well as a differentperspective of reality. The windows at the top of the tower representthe highest frequency experience of third dimensional reality and thebottom window represents the lowest frequency experience of thirddimensional reality.

Furthermore, the windows of each story are covered with a frequencyfilter specific to that story, to filter IN the frequency of light for thatwindow and to filter OUT the frequencies of the other stories. Each of these stories represents a different perception of reality, which isbased on the belief system that is consistent with that octave of light.

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From the fifth story, our beliefs allow us to perceive reality as anopportunity to have deeper communications, not only with others, butalso, with the higher expressions of our SELF. These communicationsusually beg to be expressed through our creativity.

From the sixth story, we believe that we can perceive our inner,spiritual life, and we strive to intermingle our spirituality with thephysical world outside of our window. We live in the physical world,but seek to constantly be in union with the higher expressions of ourMultidimensional Soul/SELF.

From the seventh story we believe/know that we ARE ourMultidimensional SELF. Hence, our perceptions are free of theseparations and limitations of an inner or outer polarized world. Infact, from this window, there are no polarities at all—in our reality orwithin our SELF. We are all ONE Being playing in the third dimensionalGame of Spirit into Matter. From this window, we perceive reality asan opportunity to participate in the great moment of PlanetaryAscension.

The lower stories of our Tower are vital, for they are the foundationupon which we create our expanded perceptions of reality.Furthermore, on different days, as well as at different times in thesame day, we will see reality through different stories of our Tower.For example, we may have expanded our consciousness to be able toperceive reality through the seventh story window but have a “bad

day” and need to go down to the lower stories to do somemaintenance work.

We can use our Tower to perceive reality through any window wechoose. However, we usually don’t know that until we are able to workthrough old belief patterns that restrict us to the lower stories.Furthermore, we can use the filters in the windows of our Tower tofilter OUT the fear and anger of our changing reality and filter IN theunconditional love and gratitude of the NEW Earth that we are creatingas ONE Being.

So, how can we know exactly where we are in our Tower? To answerthat question we must ask our SELF, who is the core of consciousness.

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THE CORE OF CONSCIOUSNESS

I AM the core of your consciousness.I live inside of the inside of you.

Your eyes are my eyes, and your ears are my ears.

Through you, I can see and hear your everyday reality that

you have created with your mind.

I can see what you see and hear what you hear.

But, I have an advantage that,too often, you do not.

I am ALWAYS aware of YOU.

I cannot forget that I AM

looking through your eyes and hearing through your ears.

I AM of you, but I AM more.I AM the part of you

that looks through you.

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I AM the part of you that is ALWAYS self-aware,

ALWAYS awake.

While you are asleep to your physical world,

I AM awake.While you are asleep to your dream world,

I AM awake.

I AM ALWAYS awake, and I ALWAYS remember.

Always, I remember that the world OUTSIDE of you

is a creation of your own illusions.

Always I remember that the world INSIDE of you

is a creation of your own illusion.

So, if ALL,inside and out,is an illusion,what is real?

I AM


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