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adapted from Dr. Dan Siegel,MD
adapted from Dr. Dan Siegel,MD
Enlightened Feminine Leadership
Principle Four: Destroying/Dying/Dissolving/Releasing/ Uncreating
Enlightened Feminine Leadership
Mukara Meredith, MSW
The Positive Power of Destruction
Mindfulness and Initial Conditions
• Review:
• Settling into Presence andMindfulness.
• Wheel of Awareness-Dan Siegel, MD
• Potentially Nourishing Phrase: “It’s ok to Let Go”; Endings are part of life.
adapted from Dr. Dan Siegel,MD
Sources• Dan Siegel, MD
• Information from International Women’s Day
• The Athena Doctrine
• Thomas Huebl
• Hakomi: Body Centered Psychotherapy
• Matrixworks: Working with Groups as Living Systems
• Buddhism
• Resting on the Ground of PEACE-MAKING, practicing generosity through the Principle of ENRICHING, we enter the magic and mystery of Subtle Energy of MAGNETIZING.
DESTROY; DISSOLVE; DIE: USING THE POWER OF THE BODY, SUBTLE ENERGY AND RELATIONSHIP TO FACE ENDINGS
• This Principle, most complex of all, invites us to face Endings, Impermanence, Powerlessness, Deep Vulnerability, Regrets and Loss—just for starters. This Principle can also have a quality of Fierceness in it—a cutting through-Fearlessness aspect. It also conveys a sense of being a spiritual warrior. A destruction that is liberating. Notice impact on your body and energy as we enter this portal
• The orienting questions for this Principle are along the lines of: “What needs to die?” “How can i practice Letting Go so that more can come into being?” “What is needed for ‘this____’ to have a good completion?” “What am i truly finished with?” “Can i finish without Regret?” “What is the right timing for completion?” “What limiting belief do i need to ‘destroy’ in myself.These questions point to the complexities of this Principle.
• Which of these orienting questions is most useful to you as you think about your Leadership/Work in the world and what you most need to learn and practice.
Big Energyof
Destroyingneeds
Tenderness
How do we hold
the Worldin ourHearts
AvoidSELF-
RIGHTEOUSNESS
Willingto
NOT KNOW
Experiential• In your journal, choose a time frame—could be
the last year, or two years or up to five years.
• For each year you select, recall the events that reflect some aspect of this Principle.
• EXAMPLES: Relationships that ended, work projects that completed, aspects of yourself that ‘died’, people who left the world, beliefs that ‘finished’ being useful or helpful to you, Leadership roles you lost or let go of. etc.
• What sustained you through these losses, deaths and endings? What strengths emerged in you? Looking back, did these events ‘happen TO you, or FOR you? Did they start With you or End with you?
• Make notes for yourself for discussion in your Triads later in the class.
• Mu’s personal experience
General Notes about Destroying/Dying/Uncreating/• Destroying is associated with the color Black or dark Blue Black, and the element of Space. When the sky is darkest at
midnight, the Destroying energy is very strong.
• Destroying is sometimes connected to the ‘Dark Goddess Kali’/and to the power of cutting through our attachment to our self-images and self-protective delusions. Kali is said to free us from what keeps us stuck(Sally Kempton: Awakening Shakti) And, the Kali-like Destruction happens to make way for Creation. If we are not afraid of dissolving or dying, she is our ally and friend. This Principle puts us in touch with the true cycles of life: birth, old age, sickness and death. Learning to embody and use this Principle, helps us experience and express FEARLESSNESS
• Shadow aspect of Destroying: One shadow aspect is to direct this energy toward others, rather than our own purification. Assuming we know that the other is STUCK and we need to liberate their energy. . Because of the Fierceness quality of this Principle, arrogance is another shadow part of Destroying. True Fierceness also contains an ability to bow down to something larger, so the strength is balanced with tenderness. In our work roles, and leadership positions, we may have to help clients or co-workers get unstuck, and use strong techniques to bring about more Awakeness, but we need a clear contract to engage in this way. We also need to stay around to do clean up if necessary. One of my early teachers of Group Work, David Patterson, would always say: “don’t hit and run” and “don’t confront if you won’t commit” Genuine use of the Principle of Destruction requires a commitment to protect what is indestructible in those we work with.
• In Destroying, the Relationship that is the most important is the Relationship with TRUTH. TRUTH, however we define it, is the highest priority. In my experience,what works the best for me here is to have a circle of colleagues i trust, who know me well, and with whom i feel comfortable asking for and receiving feedback. Example: I share my perception of a situation with my circle of colleagues. i name and claim my Truth about an issue. Then, i ask: is there anything you see that you think i do not see about this situation? I listen and include others perceptions to balance my ‘Truth’ The inclusion of other’s wisdom is a safeguard against partial truth and delusion and extremism/fundamentalism
• SOME IMAGES to connect visually to this energy.
a representation of Dark Power
Fearlessness
Summary• The Principle of Destroying/Dissolving represents the strongest energy of all the Principles of EFL(Peace-Making,
Enriching, Magnetizing , Destroying, Spaciousness)
• Perhaps we can simplify the complexity of this Principle if we frame it in terms of three basic levels.
• 1) Outer Level: Cycles of Life—Birth, Death, literal and symbolic, predictable and sudden. The ways in which this Principle points to the inevitable suffering of Human Life. As EF Leaders, we need to be able to coach individuals, groups, and organizations through these Transition times, normalizing and bringing appropriate Resources to the table. A kind of making friends with difficulties of existence. Examples: my client who is in her dying process, other situations. Recent PG client
• 2) Inner Level: Cycles of Life are not flowing. There is ‘Stuckness’, ‘Fear that prevents action’, Frozenness, ‘Doubt that paralyzes’ or, the opposite may happen: We activate the ‘Flee’response, quitting a project or relationship too soon. Thus,we have run away from healing and resolution. As EF Leaders it is important we keep this level as open in ourselves as is possible so we can see and feel what is wanting to emerge in the situations we work with. We need to be in a Flow state. Resourcing ourselves,we turn to our bodies to ground, our breath to open, our relationships to strengthen. We balance our sense of challenge with our experience of Resource and Support and teach our clients and students how to do this.
• 3)Secret Level: Hard to describe, but this level of working with the Destroy Principle is the direct experience of what is Indestructible—what can not be destroyed. What is left when we lose everything. Tibetans say what remains are the qualities of Love, Joy, Compassion and Deep Peace. If we recollect a time of great loss, as in the example i gave, (and know we all have these life changing experiences,) the profound gift of great destruction is the feeling of “ i am still here” and “i am available” Need to affirm for this harvesting of the gift of great loss/destruction, we often need professional help, Trauma Work, Healing work. As EF Leaders, if we have special training in this arena, we increase the value of our Leadership tool kit.
At each of these levels, we bring Resources
Our Material and Sources: Focus on Leadership, Disruption and Destroying
Neurons that fire together wire together
International Women’s Day 3/8/15: News from the World: Big View
Another View
Disrupting(Destroying) the Old; Welcoming the New
• The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future by John Gerzema, Michael D’Antonio Note: Athena is Greek Goddess whose strength comes from Wisdom and Fairness
• Surveyed 64,000 people from 13 countries re: what is the fundamental Operating System for success of the 21st Century? Conclusion: 75% agree that values associated with the Feminine, i.e., care, connecting, collaborating, inclusiveness, flexibility,listening, sharing, mutuality-- redefining success in every realm-- are what determines success in the 21st century.
• As Enlightened Feminine Leaders, perhaps our task is to DISRUPT (or DESTROY) the old paradigm and usher in the new world view.
• Gandhi’s message
Exercise• Settle into your place—sitting
comfortably. Deepen your breath, let all the content about the Principle dissolve. Just be with your sensations, feelings and relaxation for a few moments.
• We will do a process like we did with the Mitochondria, so place a pillow or empty chair in front of you. This will represent the Principle of Destroying/Dying/Disruption. I will ask you some questions and you will move to the chair or pillow and answer from the wisdom of this principle.Use your Journal to record the answers you give speaking as the Principle of Destroying
Questions• 1) Principle of Destroying, what is a piece of Wisdom
Medicine you have for me at this time?
• 2) Principle of Destroying, how can you help me get Unstuck in my Work, Relationships, Body/Health
• 3) Principle of Destroying, Why am i afraid of you?
• 4) Principle of Destroying, have i hurt others or been hurt by others by mis-using you?
• 5) Principle of Destroying, how can i experience more Freedom, Pleasure and Joy?
come back together as group for interactive processes
Reflection
• This process of experiencing, embodying and expressing Destroying energy is very deep. The more we work with this,the more opportunity we have to directly experience what in our being can not be destroyed. A quality of genuine, tender Fearlessness can arise and we offer a bow to the life processes of birth, death and healing.
Summary of Today’s Content
• Explored the 4th Principle of Enlightened Feminine Leadership:DESTROYING
• Most complex of the Principles
• Calls us into the depths of our Being
• Three basic Levels: Outer, Inner and Secret
• Relationship of Disruption to Destroying
• How this Principle can help us create a better world
Close with Meditation• Review the Wheel of Awareness
• Resting in the Hub of the Wheel—our awareness is clear, peaceful, receptive, open.
• For just a few moment let your attention go the the Eighth Sense—sense of Interconnectedness. Feel our belonging to the web of life—how we belong together. as mother theresa said ”all of our problems are because we have forgotten we belong together.” in this moment, may we remember our belonging together.
Suggestions for Maestro Conference
• Questions or comments about Destroying and Fearlessness
• Questions about shadow of Destroying
• Other questions or comments about the body, relationship or subtle energy in Destroying
• Live Coaching about Leadership questions
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