Understanding and Dealing with Resistance

The most important skill in consulting flawlessly

Class 7 –ADLT 610Fall 2009

Agenda for tonight

Check in on consulting project status

Part II – When Consultants and Clients Clash / Voice Threads

http://voicethread.com/share/650470/

Topic Presentation, Ike and Suzanne: Dealing with Resistance in Consulting

What is resistance?

Can you think of a time when you experienced resistance when acting in an advising or consulting role?

Resistance is ... An emotional reaction

A natural and predictable response to dealing with a difficult reality

A sign that the consultant is “on target”

A necessary part of the client’s learning process

What does resistance look like when you see it?

The Many Faces of Resistance

Give me more detail Flood you with

detail Time Impracticality “I’m not surprised” Attack Confusion

Silence Intellectualizing Moralizing Compliance Methodology Flight into health Pressing for

solutions

Four skills in dealing with resistance ...

Be able to identify resistance

View resistance as a sign that you are “on target”

Support the client in expressing resistance directly

Don’t take it personally

Listen to internal “cues”

When you start to get impatient or irritated

When you get bored, yawn, or feel low energy for the conversation

When you are confused by the conversation

When you start to suppress negative feelings

More Cues that Resistance is Taking Place

Aggressive Language “Let me explain something to

you”

“You have to understand that …”

“I want to make sure this isn’t an academic exercise …”

More Cues …

Repetition When a client continues to explain

the same idea to you over and over again

When you answer the client’s question and he or she keeps asking it again and again

So, what do you, as the consultant do, to deal with resistance?

NAME the resistance, then be quiet

Name the resistance by making a simple statement of observation

The key is to use neutral language, not aggressive or indirect statements

Then say no more and let the client respond

EXAMPLE:

The client talks on and on about

how busy she is. She can’t be

bothered with this discussion.

She is spread so thin

supervising three departments

and has all sorts of crises to

manage.

How would you “name” this resistance?

The client keeps changing the subject

The client says nothing to your ideas about how to approach the problem

How would you name this type of resistance?

The client attacks your approach, gets angry, and yells, “You don’t understand what I’m dealing with here!”

During the feedback meeting, the client keeps on asking questions about your methodology

Sometimes you have to identify how you are feeling about the discussion to name the form that resistance is taking.

Identifying how you are feeling….

You must state how you feel about what is taking place.

Then, be silent and let the client respond.

Your best efforts to be authentic will usually result in a more authentic response from the client.

Two Major Concerns of Clients

Control You must provide assure them of

your support throughout the process.

Vulnerability You must assure her that improving

the problem is an act of courage not weakness.

It is ALWAYS necessary to ask clients (managers) directly about their concerns about control and vulnerability.

Only then will you be in a position to help by consulting flawlessly.

Pure inquiry – very neutral, client controls content and process

Exploratory inquiry – consultant begins to manage the process of analyzing, elaborating content, but offers no content ideas, suggestions, options,…

Confrontive inquiry – Consultant shares ideas and reactions about the process and content

Types of Inquiry - Schein

Schein’s Basic Principles, 1- 5

1. Always try to be helpful

2. Always stay in touch with current reality

3. Access your ignorance

4. Everything you do is an intervention

5. It is the client who owns the problem and the solution

Schein’s Basic Principles, 6-10

6. Go with the flow

7. Timing is crucial

8. Be constructively opportunistic with confrontive interventions

9. Everything is data; Errors will always occur and are the prime source for learning

10. When in doubt, share the problem