Agony Churns My Heart

8/20/2019 Agony Churns My Heart

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gony Churns

My Heart

- HARIHAR JHA


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INDEX

TITLES PAGEForeForeword 7

Preface 9

My Death 13

Blackens Your Face 15

A Prank 16

A Half Poet 17

An Exam 18

Silently Expressive! 19

Lotus in the Mud 20

Make a Move 21

Let Them Blossom 22

Don't Feel Shy 23

The Cave 24

I am Silent 25

In the Rain 26

PLEASURE OR PAIN? 27

I don’t know why? 28

Agony churns my heart 29


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LIVE AND LET LIVE 30

My friend! 31

The Horse 32

Moment 33

Since I left the caves 34

Crake of dawn 35

Valentine's day 36

Your sweet memory 37

A Gulmohr Tree 38

The Heartache 39

Love is the essence of life 40

My mother 41

My Paper-Made Boat 42

Be it Kargil or Gallipoli 43

Smiled the Sun 44

My Ego 45

Desert Me Not 46

Getting Sadistic Pleasure 47

The boredom 48

Paradox 49

Poor Me 50


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Promise 51

You are a bore darling 52

Autumn 53

For Her Hundred Questions 54

In love 55

It is dawn 56

Lisa! 57

My Father 58

Ram and Ravan 59

The terrible hurricane 60

The Gunpowder of Abhorrence 61

The weather 62

Towards The Sky 63

A Spiritual Feel! 64

A Fall in Love 65

Cheers Or Jeers 66

Eyes Dripping Tears 67

Hobbits disappeared 68

Hunger - 3 Faces 69

Long live hypocrisy 70

Love is an illusion 71


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My will and pleasure 72

She Is The Girl 73

Your look 74

Why Torture? 75

Birds 76

Hunger And Gloom 77

Folly of the wisdom 78

Mask 79

Who Is Wrong? 80

Her Teasing Face 81

The Camera 82

Stunning Melbourne 83


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Foreword

Harihar Rai Jha – known widely as Harihar Jha – is by birth at

thinker, devotee from the devout class, the Jhas. He took to poesy as

a duck takes to water for it has been his fond passion to think,

imagine and give expression to his fancy and feelings.

Churning Heart is a collection of poems on a variety of subjects,

themes, ruminations, a conglomeration of ideas and imaginative

flights. Variety is the hall mark of Harihar’s imaginative-creative

oeuvre. The speakers of some of the poems are the figments of the

poet’s imagination. Deep cerebration and gumption for quick

expression characterize the work of this poet which lingers long in

the reader’s imaginative understanding. There are moments of

intense thinking and sublime expression as in the following lines

which are ubiquitous in this collection.

Enough of mutual hatred, friends!

Have nectar of peace to dive

Death has danced enough so far

It’s era of Live and Let Live

Understanding the biology of poetic creation makes a poet a unique

creator:


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It gives inspiration and decorates

Noble souls with a garland of flames

Agony churns my heart And lo! A poem emerges as a smile.

-Dr V.V.B.Rama Rao


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PREFACE

What is a poem? The question is as much hardas to

define life of oneself. Any definition is a constraint on

either. I have passed through some definitions of poetry

but intuitively I love the concept of "Satyam, Shivam,

Sundaram". Every poem touches some part of it.

Satyam : The concept of truth doesn't care about bitterness

or even ugliness in it which is often seen in modern

poetry. Thanks to Freud, he unearthed the animal hidden in

man. The psychoanalytical research has influenced every

field in the art including poetry :

Flame of burning fire trying to embraceWhen out of control, it blackens your face

In humans, instinct of love is supremeDance, art and literature have the same themeSuppressed love is anger poised to slaughterlike a thirsty man fighting for water

Shivam :Taking responsibility for one's own thought and optimism in

poetry is often reflected in life that leads to Shivam

The shooting star disappeared

Wrote on the sky with precision


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Cheers and jeers whatever you want

You will get in your own vision

Sundaram:Romanticism prevalent in poetry falls in thiscategory.

What a mystery in the attraction of opposite!

Your dead silence is very frightening

so much mysterious is your laughter

no escape! you are thunder and lightening !

to merge in you I come tumbling after

It sometimes leads toobsessive passion :

Me getting infatuated

Your invincible smile to blind

And in flood of existence

A jingle chorus in my mindThen it turns romantic as the feeling of love matures.

Your charming, melodious, titillating song

drunk in desire, still innocent quite

in a wave of love so high and strong

your beauty like rainbow pleasant and bright

And thus poetry takes us to the journey of our life. If life

and death are two sides of a coin, poem is the coin itself.


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With love I am ready to be breakfast next

Death licking me while I taste my death

My soul is fulfilled but ego perplexed

So a poet must handle every poemcarefully . A fractured poem maymake its poet popular but it will injure the heart of poet.

I inflicted wounds on all my poemsThey were sobbing in tears, What a disgrace!with clothes on their body I hide my sin!no one can notice cuts on their faces

Such poems are all just pornographic jokes,you appreciate fantasticallybut my heart knows the praise showered on meshould be told very sarcastically

A real poem emerges from heart:

Agony churns my heart

And lo! A poem emerges with a smile!


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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I acknowledge the contribution of my mother and father for

their blessings and my careful nurture and of my brothers

for their intellectual companionship. I also acknowledgehereditary contribution of my grandfather whom I have

never seen but whose stories as “pioneer and the first

English Teacher” still prevail as folklore in my hometown. I

am grateful to my wife and children for their support in

writing. Also I am grateful to ShriRajenderKrishan and Ms

AparnaChatterjee from Boloji.com for building my confidence

on writing poems and to ShriRamaraoVadapalli for his kind

remarks.


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My Death

The Death has drawn a line on meMind in blunder, my heart in wonder

I see the death coming near me

Spreading black veil, making me blind

Shaking my bones, and veins are blown

A wave in melody piercing my mind

Song from the birds rolling on a death cup

What clouds reveal, wet fragrance I feel

From earth to cosmos, umbrella opens up

With love I am ready to be breakfast next

Death licking me while I taste my death

My soul is fulfilled but ego perplexed

The world is dissolved, I’m going to die

Nothingness looming and silence blooming

Peace everywhere I’m flying in the sky.

Order from heavens passing my ears

Take me my dear with joy and cheers

People around me why shedding tears?


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Blackens Your Face

Flame of burning fire trying to embrace

When out of control, it blackens your face

In humans, instinct of love is supreme

Dance, art and literature have the same theme

Suppressed love is anger poised to slaughter

like a thirsty man fighting for water

Ready to dump wisdom, What a disgrace!


Restless mind without love always turns blind

animal beats the saint sitting in the mind

Roaming here and there, sad story to tell

With addiction of lust falling in the well

Water snakes in dream trying hard to chase


When erotic story turns chaotic

Man in love acts like a mad psychotic

Cupid takes revenge in the dress of love

Helpless man inside behaves like a dove

Passion dashing noble thoughts to replaceWhen out of control, it blackens your face


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A Prank

A blind girl asks me, "is it day or night?"

my old classmate she is, not blind by birth

I get hurt when she asks in broad day light

to answer is futile, what is its worth?

Her bad luck it was, a prank turned tragic

accident happened in a chemistry lab

perceived as no one's fault what a magic!

a few people thought it was hide and stab.

At her silly question my head explodes

pain in my blood infiltrates into bones

how to help her, sympathy makes inroads

Why do I melt when my heart is like a stone?

Anguish in me tries to escape in vainA guilt-ridden man cries in throbbing pain


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A Half Poet

Am I really a poet or a joker

You said I amuse you and make you laugh

with all futile attempts to win your heart

I am half poet and a joker half

Poem is more than a flowing river

it should be composed cleaner and neater

so I'm attentive of rhyme and rhythm

precisely I measure foot and meter

I have nice collection of poetry

but publisher saw me with empty purse

somehow he wanted to escape from me

cunningly asked me to change in free verse

I inflicted wounds on all my poems

They were sobbing in tears, What a disgrace!

with clothes on their body I hide my sin!no one can notice cuts on their faces

Such poems are all just pornographic jokes,

you appreciate fantastically

but my heart knows the praise showered on meshould be told very sarcastically


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An Exam

An exam knocking at the doorhow to avoid, I desperately try

my body trembles in helplessness

like an orphan, I feel like crying

I try to read, the books are flying

frightened I attempt to scream

what a nasty and strange the moment

looks like I’m in a dream...

my note-book shaping like blue sky

my mind in puzzle unable to guide

shaking my hand turns into a pen

but the ink of my charity is dried

breathing my last reciting in vain

I hold my heart in awe

a brief homage being paid in tearsfor me or for my grandma!

I am dragged to an examination hall

I find it hard to breathe

an angle of death as examiner

just dreaming? or is it my death?


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Silently Expressive

Silently expressive!How to quench the heart strongly flaming in

Fire-balls in ashes burning me within

Heart speaks and body blazes

“Doh Re Me...” from the limbs

Breathing is mute, the soul is frightened.

Silently expressive!

Silent stars in cosmos rebirth

Who listens to the tiny earth?

Poor man is shedding tears


Emotional poem composed in rhyme

Walked through the ladder, dancing in rhythm

melted in a divine meditation


Roads from life lead to death

Shrill voice of consciousness, hard to breathe



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Lotus in the Mud

My heart has turned into a stonesome rocks hit against and break

to flow in the river

but still desire to see the seedling sprouting

is alive

Hope to hear melodious songs from birds

is active

and dreams of fragrance from the flowers

yet remains...

Someone has plunged his sword

into intestine of the wasteland Earth

and yet,

in these threatening and roaring clouds,

the desire for showering compassion is still alive.

Hope from the heartless earth

to grow passionate sensitivity is still active.

Appeal to the dead skyto rain the life-force yet remains...

There is no place for platonic love now

What is Love? But just a deal

an equation in Mathematics

or a computer program

flowing chemicals of a few organic compounds

In spread of the mud,Hope to lotus blossom

yet remains...


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Make a Move

Make a move from this hypocritical worldaway from the mechanical life

for a picnic with friends and wife

Throw your formal dresses

and laugh in a jolly mood

Nicely arrange our lunch and diner

but a gimmick in search for food.

Let’s go shouting songs

rhythm from collective consciousness

like nomads going global,

Pretending to lose our ways on a bush-walk

then jump to contact on mobile

Let’s go and appreciate

trees, forest and stars

Boast of creating peace in mind

the magic of healing scars

Then how come we start fights

angered over trivial matters

Hot discussion, war of words

tranquility to shatter...


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Let Them Blossom

In strange people, in hostile aliensPeep through and see God in all

Variety of flowers in this garden

Let them blossom and enjoy the fragrance

Fire erupted in cosmos, Sun and Moon got destroyed

Death dancing in chaos, steps involved in error

Now all sobbing in cold wave, why so much of the snowfall?

In the swing of these extremes, terror rolls on anti-terror

Have restrain said mother earth,

Sense how delicate is life!

Variety of flowers in the garden


Women shackled and handcuffed, all sympathy meaningless

Euphemism dancing around robed in a shining dress

And lo! hypocrisy is thrown, vision of world awakenedSoon declared equality to march in the path of progress

Are they commodities or powerless you think?

Admire women’s potential

Source of love like buds in a garden



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Don't Feel Shy

Don’t feel shy in the sweet moments darling! lest the redness of dawn may hide under the clouds

Wine from your eyes is for me to consume

flowers in your laughter for me, my fragrance

river of youthful rapture is not to disperse

beauty like a red rose for me to delight

Be stylish or smile but don’t feel shy

lest the redness of dawn may hide under the clouds

Your charming, melodious, titillating song

drunk in desire, still innocent quite

in a wave of love so high and strongyour beauty like rainbow pleasant and bright

Flood my soul with joy, don’t feel shy

lest the redness of dawn may hide under the clouds


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The Cave

I am sitting in a cavefeel innocent and younger

tree branches like artery

just to satisfy hunger

Someone is breathing for me

here all leisure and no fight

lovely music like heartbeat

I listen whole day and night

No effort, no work for me

all comfort comes by snuggle

what a wonder cave it is

preparing for a struggle

Will drive me out of the cave

through a very narrow route

I can’t stay inside for long

still very tough to come out

Lazy bone no work for me

my mother is the rover

I will be pushed out soonwhen just nine months are over


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I am Silent

Since my birth when I cried heartilyTried so hard again but still I am silent

Great style my sweetheart! “Who killed your soul?”

You dared to ask me and I am silent

Me hungry of love, you asked me to be far away

Not to show wounds in my heart I am silent

Tears of sorrow to sip with smile on face

Ocean of sorrow in line and I am silent

River of love flowing in my heart

You ask me to shed tears, I am silent

You rubbed salt on injury instead of ointment

Isn’t that too much that I am silent ?

Love is sin - I went for crime after crime

Trapped in the mud of guilt I am silent

On death-bed, God asking the truth behind my guilt

The truth and the only truth is : I am silent.


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IN THE RAIN

In the rain with you,my heart is a garden

a dancing peacock appears

Stupid the rain!

when you are away

It brings a flood of tears...

Wet is romantic air in your love

and wet is all our bodies

How to open our tender hearts

when we both are quite and shy

Your anklet sounds to express passion

and ringing bangles conveying...

Lips unable to speak emotion

Then blowing wind comes helping

In the pouring rain when you are missingTough to pass the lonely night

the long garland with all its fragrance

jumps as a cobra ready to bite.

Why the garden so green yet blowing

Storm of fire to slaughter

passion in air, flame in the heart

fire blazing in the water...


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PLEASURE OR PAIN

Your dead silence is very frightening

so much mysterious is your laughterno escape! you are thunder and lightening !

to merge in you I come tumbling after

You annihilate my sturdy feeling

and blast the cobweb of my complex thoughts

with love you flood my heart's core and ceiling

what a real volcano your touch has brought

Magic in you has a spiritual credo

fountain of cheers emerging from your eyes

craving desire with cheering libido

in pain suffers silently, my heart cries

In you I have jumped , be it loss or gain

God knows this passion is pleasure or pain?


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I DON’T KNOW WHY?

I see a crying hungry child

My hands dip in a philosophical puzzleWhat is hunger and what is pain?

What is body and what is a soul?

I see a woman being dragged by a sinner

My eyes searching for the answer.

Who is victim here and who is a culprit?

What is love and what is lust?

Live knives and crying dead bodies

In a communal riotMy ears only want to listen

Who is Hindu here and who is Muslim

Who are my own?

And the rest are aliens.

I don’t know why?

My eyes, ears , hands and legs

Have turned into Mind

And where is my Mind?Dancing like a puppet

To the tune of these cunning snake-charmers.


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AGONY CHURNS MY HEART


and lo! a poem emerges with a smile!

All weapons are silent

Who is this crazy fellow

Singing peace in the battlefield?

The world is shocked

How come a canon used to throw fireballs

Now peacefully blossoming the flowers?When agony surrounds my lips

A poem of love comes out!

Men are reduced to insects

In torture-camps

Then the poem reminds about the martyrs

Sings their praise hand-folded

It gives inspiration and decorates

Noble souls with a garland of flames


and lo! a poem emerges with a smile!


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LIVE AND LET LIVE

Enough of mutual hatred, Friends!

Have nectar of peace to diveDeath has danced enough so far

It's era of Live and let live.

For nation, race and religion

Battles and war enough

Now a call to humanity

Stop the political bluff

Roar like a lion if you face

War-monger with insanity

Not by feeling of hatred

Firm with belief in humanity

The world is a marvellous pub

Saaki has enough of drinks,

But afraid of mischievous eyesfrightened, pale she sinks.

Wash your sin, Be drunk in peace

Spirituality to drive

In Khayyam's poetic lyrics

Era of Live and let live.


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MY FRIEND

My friend! we came here

away from that mechanical lifehappy on the bike with speed double

now look at the thorns in tube and tyre

how to cope with this trouble?

My friend! on the way we had put

lust of inner life in musical dress

shouting third rate songs, beat and rhythm in mess

now if we sing or cry on the bank of lonely riverour own shadow will tease and laugh at us

now enough of the tune of the singing birds

enough of the praise for the open sky

enough hypocrisy of the mental peace

Claim to be one with the nature so lie

with dust flying around our mouth and nosePush thorny bicycle, on the filthy narrow track

with fit of anger, enraged in our heart

Oh my friend! let us speedily return back


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THE HORSES

Horses

of ambition and greedare running

Not only on plain ground

they climb over the ladder

surely legs are blood-bathed

but carrying the burden

of the worldly cart

flying in the high sky

insulting the birds of tender-feeling.

These horses have given me

infinite strength

envy of friends,

abuse of foes

sarcastic smile of strangers.

I have got everything

on my own using these horses by sacrificing myself

to make the horses

winning victorious, conquering.


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MOMENT

A moment flowing like a drop in a river

Try hold in a box golden or silver

I exhausted my life thinking and thinking

Each time I got losing or wining!

Wasted my life converting into money

Like a busy bee creating honey

"Tick Tick" said moment in a mechanical scheme

Lost my life through a cobweb of dreams!

The moment stopes flowing when you are alone

Flies like a bird when a party is thrown

Moments of sorrow can cry loudly

Clapping moments of joy proudly

World is a drama with emotions all

Who knows when will curtain fallThe lamp of life gets all dissolved

Still the mystery is not resolved.

Layer by layer, like an onion

Moment itself opens up

Strangely combines a pungent dish

Flavoured with a sweet cup.


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SINCE I LEFT THE CAVES

Since I left the caves,

I wrote Vedas and BiblePhilosophy and science

Erotic books and songs tribal.

I have been boasting on being son of God

till Darwin’s Monkey checks

I make celibacy an ideal of life

till Freud’s pervasive sex

“Man is like insects”

“God is dead” that is Nietzsche’s libel

Since I left the caves,

I wrote Vedas and Bible.

Thread from the fibres of words

tied myself to cope

I fell in love with every bookthat is prison be tied with rope

But pretending creator of universe

In dream I’m riding waves

I wrote Vedas and Bible

Since I left the caves


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CRAKE OF DAWN

A lonesome branch embraced

And squeezed the chest of a treeSmiled the breeze in her heart

and passed by the sea

Crake of dawn is fine! and so is lukewarm unshine

Merging in sweat of burning noon

Sky to the depth in light

Ah! Dream Melody emerged from

A cave of frightening night

Crake of dawn is fine! and so is lukewarm sunshine Naughty someone during night

Blackened the face of Miss earth!

No one to care for her dews like tears

Then what is all its worth?

Came sweet Morning with garden wind

What a flowery and fruity!

Tears of happiness that was dew

and got again her beautyCrake of dawn is fine! and so is lukewarm sunshine


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VALENTINE'S DAY

My heart is throbbing and my mind gets crazy

When I hear your song of loveYou shine as fibres of moonlight

dressed in a dazzling glove

Sweet sound from earth to heaven

Craving overflow by tide

In a playful eyes of passion

The soul of love on ride

Came the spring, couples got crazy

Urge to love gets shine

Came the spring, couples dancing

Shaking like a glass of wine

The rhythm buzzing and wonderful beats

Vibrating body chirps like a bird

My heart throbbing and mind got crazyWhen hear your song of love


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YOUR SWEET MEMORY

Since you left me, Oh sweetheart!

My heart in silence teasing apart

hidden in sky I see you in showers

in beat of my heart full up of scars

Your beautiful lips smiling in flowers

your charming eyes peeping thru stars

your love inspiring for music and art


in dreams I see you to quench my thirst

weaving daydreams still agony so much

eyes in my mind, your image to clutch

how to bring charm, your beauty, your touch!

Sinking my lonely heart, tears to start



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A GULMOHR TREE

Pouring compassion of heaven on this earth

God decides a small lovely village to blesswith gift of nature in a wonderful form

a Gulmohr tree in an aesthetic dress

The singing air with so much pleasing fragrance

air of love is blowing from the tree so nice

people breathing fire in the fits of anger

how come they are drunk-dead in cool breeze of peace

sitting, enjoying in the lap of Nature

travelers planning further journey to start

agony transformed into sensitivity

filling happiness and pleasure in the heart

on forehead of the old people so relaxed

disappeared the flowing sweat-drops of heat

their both hands come forward to give the blessingswhen all children with due respect touch their feet.

teen-agers chat in dense shadow of the tree

to solve problems and remove the thorns of strife

feeling very enthusiastic and fresh

they proceed on their future vision of life


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THE HEARTACHE

A point behind the intricacy

the heartache is beyond cure

thunderous big bang from your anklet

universe emerging in flashes

The star, planet and satellite

are shining dots from your eyelashes

The clouds just like black-holes

are lamp black for your eyes billion years have passed

in search of love, the heart cries

since then tears of separation

formed huge ocean for sure


You, dancing in fish, flying in birdsIn monkeys, humans you are on play

Your craving for love sneaking in reptiles

Darwin lost the way

life with a heart and source of heartache



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LOVE IS THE ESSENCE OF LIFE

The world sleeps in the lap of Mother Night

who braves the darkness scarsHappy sky garlanding her

with moon and shining stars

As a lover and itself a mirror

the sky looking at Night

love is the essence of life

Nature carries world's burdenwith love and hope fervent

greedy man! Don't treat her

just like a maid servant

Don't put hole in your boat stupid!

Pray the Nature, you are in middle of the stream


The existence is difficult with pride and prejudice,

thriving war and blood

yet from libido emerges the fibres

to flow the essence of love

the spring goes beyond the selfishness and lust



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MY MOTHER

The tasty food, you cook is unbeatable my mother!

The stuff in even five-star-hotels is all bloody junk

The silly waiter ready here to obey my order

salutes me and bends, just for no tips who fiercely taunts!

then very amazed I remember love in your anger

I miss you in lavish hotels, confused on what I want

you scold me in your love that always purifies my soul


I grew in your kind shadow to see many lovely dreams

I passed thru each and every pain to attain the great height

I built in the air, the castles to get prosperity

My mental peace lost forever I keep crying whole night

I get peace of mind when recall one of your cradle songs


In my whole life I mastered the maths of loss and profit

In competition and jealousy living in suspense

on dazzling path but you are away, What a hollow life!

money is God, money is love, I fell prey to nonsense

I get relief in your smile on all my silly blunders



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MY PAPER -MADE BOAT

Flood in the river, dead bodies to float

Wonderful, I drive my paper-made boat!

World is bitter over quarrel and feud

Happy my daughter with succour of food

Dazzle in city, my village remote


Bomb on the masses from killer so slysmoke from the clouds are spreading in the sky

Yet innocent swans are ready to float


Fighting for greed and lust to wine and dine

hungry gets nothing yet gluttons take nine

Crowing on rewards from almighty God


Earth being cheated by aliens cut-throat

stars and meteors are colliding a lot

A hot ball going in my old torn coat



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BE IT K ARGIL OR GALLIPOLI

Hide and seek with the death

Be it Cargill or Gallipoli

The truth in the chess of war

No one is king or pawn

when hit by a bullet in the chest


One who is martyr in the war

hailed as a champion in the historyafter dying in the bloodbath


everyone respects the martyr

man in the street and the noble

sacrifice, the paradigm of society


Deceit with their own life

sympathy with the crying wife

the little girl still very innocent



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SMILED THE SUN

Craving of a candle turned into pain

Scratched and just got meltedShouted owing to heat of tears

Got divided and detached.

Joy in life somehow disappeared

Love got silenced soon

Summer chewed the vast ocean

Darkness swallowed the moon.

Scary river pulling with the force

So long hair of the hill

Frightened air was tightly clutching

the multi-arms of mountain

Smiled the Sun looking at this

then laughed to the depth of sky

Lo! how come so soon got washed awayevery shadow of the cry.

Roaming clouds now trying to imitate

the tune of dancing men

Dance of lightning turned into love

craving of love throbbed again.


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MY EGO

How to grab arteries of mankind

No mind should be freename to occupy everywhere

me... and only me...

seers tell us of dissolving ego

merge in the cosmic jar

how funny have bankruptcy in business

claim owning bazaar

forget all, Look how pretty lovely!

my ego, my name!

the question keeps troubling me again

the truth in seers' claim

why seeker in a wild forest gets

Divine Buddha fame!

But king Shuddhodhan is recognisedBy only son's name.

Kings and thorns have aggressive ego

Rose bud always knows.

The man as always appreciates

Fragrance of the rose.


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DESERT ME NOT

Desert me not then how can even death touch me

When you are with me, death always shy to clutch me

Tied by fibres of love in sweet relation's thread

heart throbbing with your magic touch, my pleasure gleams

your presence glowing my life, I get mesmerised

my directions gobble up, I get lost in dreams

Hypnotising your look, your magic so pleasing


your delicate limbs, how can you hurt anyone!

But your looks make one wounded, even devils flee

Like Angel's brush, you have very sharp eyelashes

Demons for me go away without taking me

Legend-lovers' story is again repeated!


Crooked Death, the dirty-face can't look in mirror

your glitter, your stunning beauty, how can he brave!

facing you, in blunder he surely will be slipped

Bound to say O delicate! catch my hand and save

Your intoxicating look! Death himself will die



46/82

46

Getting Sadistic Pleasure

throwing venom of hatred around

mass-murder, bloodshed to planHave you seen? a poisonous cobra

coming in the dress of man

to accomplish his wicked idea

takes flag of his religion

No morals, no courage in the heart

vulture kills helpless pigeons

Can't see the pain of crying widows

or helpless kids, he is blind

Having a tiny heart of a mouse

no grey matter in his mind

What is compassion? he only knows

how to handle gun and knife

How to capture people for ransom

puts price-tag on human life

how come? he plans to kill in his mind

when active or in leisure

Look at the merchant of blood and flesh

getting sadistic pleasure


47/82

47

THE BOREDOM

Getting worst of nausea

on slow road of the time and beyond just like playful water

turning muddy with mosquito’s around

No tree has dried

standing in lonely containment

birds, animals, stars and planets

no one is hungry of entertainment

but me, an intellectual

a provider of nice edge

for my flowing instinct so blind

why do I listen in this dead moment

the noise from the ghost of my mind?

an obstacle in meditation

a barrier in running is my hovering broodfull of wounds from animal instincts

harassing and turning me into a thief, so crude

caught red handed in the thread of perversion,

in the garb of daydreaming

yet nude, simply nude


48/82

48

Paradox

Hungry dogs keep barking

Hungry dogs keep barkingMoon sneaking away behind the horizon

In this city

A few corpses bury human beings alive

A few chairs catch the neck of people

Sit over them haughtily

Why budding flowers are being crushed

My soul is furious, enragedAnd cries my fuming speech

In response

Angered by not able to crush me

the hungry dogs

catch me with their big forceps

push me in a dog-vehicle

and leave me in a dreaded forest.


49/82

49

Poor Me

Lured me to make like youYou snatched away my ‘self’

On excuse to lighten me

on my body you added shackles

Engrossed with relation in family

full of leaves and flowers

rootless as I wasYou chose to give me power

To give me my own personality

Me nude tree at your request

With the lotion of Beauty-saloon

glued dummy flower on my breast

Veils after veils I was covered

by my Lord, the stone-age guy

You turned me into a bar-girl

For liberation, I couldn’t cry

You removed my clothes, layer after layer

For freedom I was keen

What a shame on tragic joy

You peeled off even my skin.


50/82

50

Promise

A crooked minister instead of hellwent to heaven he was desirous

Mistake in account of Karma

May be computer had a virus.

His hypocrisy got hidden

Charity visible as paint

The account gobbled in a wayThe Minister looked like a saint

But what sort of heaven it is

teasing luxury so well

Burning fire around

Just like in the hell

Fraud, corruption as Minister

were all under his direction

He, innumerable promises

had broken after election

Bribery charges eleven

and broken promises million

virgins’ image moving around

Just to ‘promise’ heaven.


51/82

51

You are a bore darling

I throw on you beautiful colors of HoliYou tell me boring wavelength of these colors

My idiot Einstein!

What a wonderful occasion of Holi!

I throw a siring of colors

You lecture on ‘atmospheric pressure’

A bit of wood gathered by friends

Amid sacred fire of Holi

Why don’t you keep with you

your ranting about ‘Save environment’

You are a bore darling!

I keep telling you

It is victory of truth over the evil

Holika blazed and Prahlad is saved

You bring fire-proof cloths in between

Bore, You are a bore darling!

What a beautiful dance of Radha-Krishna in Mathura

My bore darling!

You detail on excavation of Dwarka!


52/82

52

AUTUMN

Soaked in tears my piano

How can I create a melody?My childhood a dry autumn

no place for any greenery.

I have sold my playful life

for a few coins, what a deal!

After my sweat and blood

hard to get a squire meal

My childhood put on a mortgage

I joined the labour force

how could I go to the school

With no money, no source

I never complain with my master

for I am bruised and battered

puzzle of love and abuse

Alas! my life is shattered

I deserve smile or chuckle

Why rebuke passing my ears

Scared as always be beaten

who will wipe my tears?


53/82

53

FOR HER HUNDRED QUESTIONS

A stubborn king and a stubborn boss goes on you wildsacred is love of an innocent stubborn child

a stubborn king kills citizen intolerant of

A stubborn boss as always is rude and snappy

but difficult child puts you in ocean of love

Her delightful babble makes everyone happy

A child can ask you to bring moon in her boarder

Just bring garland of stars from the sky for your kid

count teeth of a lion to obey her order

Put live elephant in a jar and close the lid

Break the costly TV to solve her funny quiz

Let her touch the live wire to know what it is!

Be a horse and get whipped for your ducky so cute

Bring a smile to your small darling feeling so sickmany miles away but return in a minute

at the wink of eyes present her a magic stick

gone yesterday should return at her suggestion

you have to give answers for her hundred questions.


54/82

54

IN LOVE

YOU OPEN YOUR BEAUTIFUL LIPS TO SAY,

BUT FIND NO WORD TO IMPART

I AM AMAZED, IS IT A STYLE OF LOVE

OR A TURMOIL IN YOUR HEART

I HAVE STITCHED BOTH OF MY LIPS

TO ANSWER NOT THE COMPLAINTS FROM THIS WORLD

NOW TO EXPRESS GRIEF IN MY HEART,

I WHISPER PAIN IN MY POETIC WORDS

THE LIFE IS PLACATING TO OFFER ME MONEY,

POWER AND YOU GUESS

SINCE BARBARIC MURDER OF LOVE IN MY HEART,

WHAT IS THERE TO POSSESS?

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID YESTERDAY,WITH JOY I SCREAM

BUT THAT WAS ONLY A BEAUTIFUL DREAM,

MY DARLING, YOU ARE MY DREAM

YOU HAVE SAID "GOOD-BYE" I TAKE SHELTER

IN MY DREAM BEFORE YOU DEPART

DREAMLAND IS MY KINGDOM, I WILL GRAB YOU,

A SURE PROMISE OF MY HEART


55/82

55

IT IS DAWN

It is dawn, the Sun feeling shy to meet the world

Yesterday the moon was boasting

how gorgeous am I

Me, metaphor for the beauty

no poet would deny

but helpless before my black spot

disgusting, makes me cry

Filled with humility, and ashamed in the heart

hiding its face under the cloud, moon feeling shy

cupid with its bow and arrow

boasting on youthful run

with splash soaked vigour in body

makes helpless everyone

at anytime with garland wrapped

enjoying squeeze in love

still when faced with the rules in human society

hiding face in his curly hair feeling so shy

It is dawn, the Sun feeling shy to meet the world!


56/82

56

LISA

Lisa! You are beautiful but be away

vulgar when so much near on my way

Your slim body with a thin waist

fish like eyes on the cunning face

your walk is like a poisonous cobra

why do you wander at ugly places?

Your heart is guilty, you don't talk

but move anywhere to dwellLike a movie scene why do you dance

on the wall and roof as well?

Your petty beloved get merged in you

hell with love when you enjoy food yummy

your sweetheart are just tiny insects

Live in your heart or slipping in your tummy?

for amazement, I want to touch youwith my hands but you are quite wizard!

Why do you scare me and trick me around

Lisa ! tell me, are you a lizard?


57/82

57

MY FATHER

He used to go in the dark early morning

towards well on down slope of the hillto view depth of the well in detail

and learn how could it uplift

height of the hill to this scale?

that is why, touch of his fingers

like depth of the well

had a great thrill

when he sent me to schoolhis blessings were as high as a hill.

all his smile and happiness

surrounded my shallow existence

I was frightened by depth in his grace.

To make me laugh

he used to perform child-like faces

he sow seeds of maturity in me

by such pretencenow I can see the childhood

of maturity of that innocence


58/82

58

R AM AND R AVAN

Ravan busy with sinister plan

running after gold and womenfallen in love with his male-ego

making effort to boost again

Afraid of all gods like Sun and Moon

boasting to put them in a cave

to fulfil his false satisfaction

he behaves as if they are slaves

and can't control his demonic thoughts

lust popping out in his leisure

he keeps itching his wanton desires

that is the kind of his pleasure

how possessive, no end to mirage

facing death while living in stress

he leaves his body but doesn't die

his Satan hides in all of us

Ram in heart is happy with Ravan

mix of evil needed in life

not good to make everyone happy

if you have to desert your wife.


59/82

59

THE TERRIBLE HURRICANE

River of blood has no boat and impossible to swim

why this terrible hurricane making moon and stars dim

Evil design of the devils

the play of fire to start

random noise of canons and bombs

filling their mind and heart

fighting against all the odds, survival chances are slim


War-mongers in the form of witch

playing game malicious

poverty and malnutrition

come in a circle vicious

spreading epidemic now, aftermath of bombing grim


they have lost all their family

Not a single penny

hopes washed away in the agony

legs lost for many

Cities have turned into graveyard, flying bodies and limbs



60/82

60

THE GUNPOWDER OF ABHORRENCE

He didn't get kiss of any loved one

mother for long couldn't stay

poverty hitting his life so hard

he moved on perverted ways

he thought the world is his enemy

no one listened to his cries

the cranky desire to win the world

looming in his stony eyes

once upon a time he had a dream

of joy and love-making tips

peeping in the beloved's charming eyes

engaging lips with her lips

he wanted to serve humanity

and had no wicked desire

now the gunpowder of abhorrenceanger burning as wild fire

killing creates thirst for massacre

conscience hurting inside

misconceived notion of religion

giving false notion of pride


61/82

61

THE WEATHER

Winter season of fear is shrinking our life

wave of anxiety it is going to bring

gone the era when flowers used to blossom

many lovely innocent birds used to sing

very tough to solve the mystery of weather

snowfall disappeared now fire blowing at whim

all beautiful clothes soaked in perspiration

flowing dirty hot syrup from all our limbs

A marble statue with delicate veins here

always boasting of tolerance with a plaque

leisurely sitting in air-condition room

in public service and for the fear of cracks

Buds in the park, silently tolerating

heat wave in stoical and detached manner

get burned in fire to have rebirth with a smilethey believe in God as their divine planner

Enough, they revolted like a thorn to pinch

foul smell they emitted was a real bummer

they take mutual revenge against each other

with fear and hate as winter and summer


62/82

62

TOWARDS THE SKY

Compassion dripping from dropscool water flows down a slope

to induce revolt I try

evaporation flaming

water upwards to the sky

flowers in the garden are

looking at the dancing birds

I too want to chirp and fly

to pick pollen floating free

then push some seeds on the earth

to compete with a tall tree.

swinging branches, wingspread birds

sneering on my strain

I want to 'possess' the bliss

not able to deal with pain

I lose veins in the darknesstension in life and no fun

Death comes just for a second

flame of lamp to merge in Sun.


63/82

63

A SPIRITUAL FEEL

In the shadow of a Banyan tree

Garlands and tender branches dangledsound of footsteps on the door of heart

With divine call I am entangled

Lovely cushion bed with the green grass

The tickling drops of dews so small

entering in pores of my body

melodious sound of waterfall

Smiling flowers in blowing cool wind

What an atmosphere with magic!

How come lovely mysterious sound

kills my ego with speech so tragic

Gentle wind murmuring in the ears

Some revealed Mantra from a master

Then explosion in my shaking mind

like invitation to disaster

Bells from the dome of a holy temple

Growing love and peace in heart to heel

A silence pervading everywhere

It is a great spiritual feel!


64/82

64

A FALL IN LOVE

Me getting infatuatedYour invincible smile to blind

and in the flood of existence

A jingle chorus in my mind

You are trampling on my ego

your strange look is waiting to prey

your eyes are peeping in my heart

can't stop them in a sober way

I am forced to tolerate myself

a cyclone emerging around

The lovely nursery has shrunk

it's vibrating with a light sound

heavy moment on my conscience

a scorpion stings my inner bird

how expressive body and mind

why my toung doesn't utter a word

unexpressed feelings like time-bomb

exploding in thundering rage

a helpless look at the horizon

by fluttering bird in a cage


65/82

65

CHEERS OR JEERS

Reflection of moon in water

made sleeping lazy-bone stars blind pleased Ms. Night fell in love with moon

singing in chorus with the wind

The fly was shivering with fear

scared and very afraid to fly

Look, the birds flying in high air

laughed and went to the depth of sky

rising water in lust to live

swallowing all the soil to climb

bubbles happy with single breath

with joy melting in rays of time

The shooting star disappeared

wrote on the sky with precision

cheers or jeers whatever you wantyou will get in you own vision


66/82

66

EYES DRIPPING TEARS

Agony in the heart expressed thru eyesturns into intoxicated cheers

wine formed as her eyes dripping tears

She knows villain is writing her fate

Satan's laughter rising in the sky

punishing her lover with dry heart

salty river comes out from her eyes

lot of trouble disguised during sleep

nice and terrific dream appears

wine formed as her eyes dripping tears

perplexed bird is very disappointed

brooding on how to move with great care

how to be safe and avoid danger

how to spread wings in the poisoned air

losing senses, merging in cosmos

collapse brings divine call in her earswine formed as her eyes dripping tears


67/82

67

HOBBITS DISAPPEARED

God made some pairs like sparrow and pigeon

He made monkey and gorilla, then feared

Can hobbits and men have the same religion?

He tried hard but the hobbits disappeared

It was scary for God, the man without wits

thinks of black and white as species, What a weird!

how will He stop massacre of the hobbits

men will drink blood with red stain on their beard

"we love our brother hobbits" men's slogan

former learnt cooking for the men much revered

in whose heart lies the dictator Shogun

will arrange the others being bashed and smeared

tiny little heart of silly man linked

with the fact that little hobbits are extinct


68/82

68

HUNGER - 3 FACES

Lo! Fire in man creates all troubles and yearning

How can ocean quench thirst when the earth is burning

Birds are love-hungry, They kiss each other with beak

Repressed Stupid man, hides feelings in his pink cheek.

Bluffs and Diverts mind, Thru wild imagination

No peace of mind on a road with twist and turning


Hunger makes a man, Rebel without any shame

Politicians exploit it, Power is their aim

It is the same struggle, Between haves and have-nots

Drink made of poor's blood is wealthy person's earning


Whole world shakes, before my money, power and fameShock waves return from moon, That makes my aura flame

I am intelligent, And indispensable

I am God and world is mine, everyone is learning



69/82

69

LONG LIVE HYPOCRISY

I can never go wrong, I hold all master keysI am omnipotent, how can you challenge me?

Long live autocracy

Thanks to holy scriptures, all priests taking my side

I'm creator of God, heaven works as I guide

Long live theocracy

In the cobweb of files, regulations and rules

Give bribe and get work done, Moralists are damn fools

Long live bureaucracy

Spin doctors give nice twist, and lie with perfection

Use mob psychology, to win the election

Long live democracy


70/82

70

LOVE IS AN ILLUSION

Me thirsty of your love, now in great confusionLove is an illusion

Almighty's grace was raining down when I was born

A cyclone passed by my chest when the heart was torn

Your little self haunting me what a delusion!

Love is an illusion

When we were moving away both were in distress

Salty tears in eyes and the moment was tasteless

Pain in life and life in pain both are in fusion

Love is an illusion

My heart was crying when heard your sob in bereft

Your sweet memory in disarray since you left

Deep oceans have dried, swelling junk on intrusion

Love is an illusion

My flesh so cold and the lightning in my blood

Lips are thirsty, my lonely heart sinking in flood

Looking for God when my savior on allusion

Love is an illusion


71/82

71

MY WILL AND PLEASURE

I pretend to read Bible and Koran

to show no fanatic mentality

I claim not succumb to social pressure

This is me and my personality

I don't like rotten rituals,

sacred fire, animal slaughter

yet agree to give handsome dowry

in the marriage of my lovely daughter

If I spend money on death rituals

or in superstitious leisure

that is my status and my ego

What I do is my will and pleasure!

Deep down in me is a terrorist

bloody black-mailing my emotionsand crying no one can pressurise

I have my own personal notion

I sacrifice for my religion

good heaven is my thrill

I'm not hypocrite or irrational

What I do is my own sweet will


72/82

72

SHE IS THE GIRL

A lovely girl played syringe on Holi with me

sudden spell of colors that was frightening

then pierced my mind and heart just like an arrow

she was dancing but her steps were like lightening

beautiful like a moon described in fairytale

her seductive style and she is full of joy

many eyes staring her but she moves fearlessly

makes me jealous when goes with the naughty boys

my world is getting colorful by her presence

her spilling youthfulness is nature's tribute

not innocent but she is so much generous

she is full of love and wants to distribute

I catch her wrist and gently twist to tease her

my delicate heart why does she want to hurther lovely 'no' with a great style scares me a lot

she is the only girl with whom I want to flirt

I always think of her coquetry so perfect

pink shy and timid, next moment she is free

I have come across many floozies in my life

but my heart knows she is the girl who loves me


73/82

73

YOUR LOOK

When you see at the waterfall with amazement

your look goes beyond to a wonderful extent

floating black clouds merging in your hair to rain

microscopic water drops playing with your cheeks

humming sound from bumble bees surrounds your beauty

you mystify the air, surrounding branches speak

you see the laughing flowers and smile with a style

flowers drop down as they see beauty in your smile

fire erupted in rain when your eyes were angry

and when you calm down, birds fly over the ocean

cruel your eyelashes when something you donâ€™t like

lovely face when you bite your lips in emotion

very innocent your eyes hide a bush of thorns.hurt when you pierce in my heart more than wild horn

I glue to your eyes when you see actors on stage

your thrilled expression match the overflowing strife

you murmur against the villain to embarrass

acting is mechanical, you give it a life

as you see the drama with sorrow and happinessI see a play on your face of relax and stress


74/82

74

WHY TORTURE

Listen the tragic story and tears may start

I cried and cried, my heart falling apart

to get the secret they give pain and stress

hammer nails in the body makes it a mess

they tease and torment with a nasty wire

pocking in the flesh pains like electric fire

force of compassion I wish to impart


the war and terror of worms near the wound

they shout and laugh loudly, moving around

tears and blood boiling but there is no sound

pain miserable, pain ho pause! no bound

still no secret from your tongue shall depart


melting burn reaching bones, what a scorcher !

oh God ! why do you allow this torture

wind from Satan is a sadistic breath

Take away your gift of life, worse than death

tough to drag sympathy out of cold heart



75/82

75

Birds

They never complain against thunderstorm birds tolerate sun stroke and take hot baths

crash and burn wings and hunger they transform

they keep instinct orderly in their path

even in dreams, never as bad as man

go outside in daylight and sleep in dark

like humans, they don't aggressively plan just sew their agony and never bark

they don't budge to human instinct of war

or use religion and make suicide bombs

spread both their wings in the clouds to explore

in trouble without blame game, they keep calm

birds never feel sorry, they never cry

but ride on the air and kiss the azure sky


76/82

76

Hunger And Gloom

Juice flowing in the piece of small breadshe mixes in rotten and stinking rice

her dream in relief woven like a thread

in her womb someone biting like a mice

her starving body is burning in pain

mind wavering of a loving mother

with spread of germs and disease in the grainsdeath for anyone is bad news for her

hopes, passion floating in the waves of time

but call it horror or life sneering death

to produce hungry kid is mother's crime

her decaying body source of new breath

a cradle hanging in a dying womb

can only give birth to hunger and gloom


77/82

77

FOLLY OF THE WISDOM

You say the world is a dreamlike journeyin desert we are travellers stranded

with a big bang the death will seize our life

we will depart naked, empty handed

You say leave every trouble and tension

God is simply testing us, let us pray

endure with silence but never complain

God will judge everyone on the doom's day

You say the world is a dreamlike journey

scriptures are the vision and art of seeing

you frighten people with fear of hell fire

who well deserve to live like human beings!

How nice! You live in air-condition rooms

with indulgence in lust and obscene kiss

what a lavish and luxurious your life!

you teach us poverty is divine bliss

You say the world is a dreamlike journey

renounce everything and have holy bath

Thanks for your wisdom of life after death

you can't fool us in our commonsense path.


78/82

78

MASK

naive children wear mask to frighten their friends

How silly they are! not sober like me!

aren't they proudy and stupid in the end

I'm ideal inside out, you must agree

I am a great thinker and free from bias

but chase any target at your command

Get crooked work done if you are my boss

I twist my scruples , ethics on demand

with no morals or shame, I do shuttle

be any situation, I must win

pain in my heart so severe and subtle

I hide to transplant mask beneath my skin

children use mask just to play and enjoy

to hide my fear and greed masks I deploy


79/82

79

WHO IS WRONG?

On clothes of mother nature dirt gathers

silly men torment her with a great pride

time gone when nice gardens used to lather

with lovely fragrance like newly wed bride

grape farms are supervised by greedy dogs

who spoil everything above and beneath

spreading pollution, acid rain and fog

nicely play by squeezing flesh in their teeth

some creatures live near dustbin like pigs

carry blame for spreading foul smell so strong

facts are clouded by arguments very big

no one knows who is right and who is wrong?

on silver scale dead words lie on one side

quite heavier than living kids worldwide


80/82

80

Her Teasing Face

so much introvert and reserved I amunfriendly nature, badly I behave

get angry at slightest provocation

why do I conceal myself in a cave

to share joy and win my friendship she tells

in my ears, stories of her private life

by e-mail she sends honeymoon photosshe knows I could become her husband's wife

why isn't she happy with my lover?

with me why would she maintain any link?

why at all she talks about her hubby?

she enjoys making me jealous, I think

I see everywhere teasing face of her

not to lose temper, solace I prefer


81/82

81

The Camera

My fingers slipping from the glass of beerdrunk and happy, overflowing so soon

she had filled up my heart with joy and love

how cheerful! I was on top of the moon

to now beat the silence of loneliness

I do good as I believe in Karma

I am a writer and film-directorwork on dazzling light with camera

my heart full of hurt, the camera knows

her lustful eyes on body of my soul

exploits painful memory of my past

gathers images with awful control

prostitution or creativity?

being naked is shameful activity


82/82

82

Stunning Melbourne

In God's eternal planning of purists

our stunning Melbourne is everyone's pride

Look! Nature dances here to please the tourists

has lovely fragrance like newly wed bride

With glass of beer we enjoy happy hours

crazy couples dance like a glass of wine

feel on the top of Rialto Tower

that view at night when the city gets shine

Crown Casino and Federation Squire

throbbing culture is part of city life

with spirit of mateship a dream we share

enjoy happily and resolve our strife

Joy of the city I want to impart

its beauty creates passion in my heart

Date post:	07-Aug-2018
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Agony Churns My Heart

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