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spirit talk & other poems
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I am thankful for the gift of life. I am thankful for all those around me. I am happy to share these moments in time with each and every one of you. It is a pleasure to know you – to share
in our energy. The poems that follow are an attempt to capture the spark that makes life worth living – the good and the bad, the beautiful and the not so beautiful moments that we all experience. Some are quite recent while others were written many years ago. I hope you
enjoy them.
Merry Christmas!
–Alan
© 2006, eternal kin poetry composed by alan curtis
page 1 of 38 pages
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“a dream of us together”
if we should dream together and you could hold me in your arms forever
then, i would know my search for you was complete
the lilt of your voice the sound of your laughter
the mischief in your eyes
i love to look upon you to feel you close beside me
your presence so pleasing
both to the heart and mind
if we should dream together and you could hold me in your arms forever then, i would know my circle was complete
and so, it would be done
we would join as one i'd become your father your brother, your son
and you in turn would be my mother my sister, my daughter
we would care for one another for all time
in good times and in bad times for better or for worse
this life we would lead
page 2 of 38 pages
“a dream of us together” (continued)
like a dragon furling its long tail
with love within our hearts and in our minds
successful in this life where others might fall, falter, fail
these lips that kiss you
they cannot communicate my love these eyes that adore you
they cannot communicate my love these hands that caress you
they cannot communicate my love these words that reach to you
they cannot communicate my love only the soul within this heart of mine
only here can my love for you be felt, heard, understood
dream with me and you will see
page 3 of 38 pages
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“a fool's game”
here it is the rose you wanted
i cast it upon the ground upon the casket which now separates us
for in death there is liberation and in liberation there is at last – peace
free from want free from need free from all –
the pulls – the pangs of life
so, do you know now where you find your folly? it is in the stuff of magic, of course
believing in dreams that will never be feeling things we were never meant to feel
it is all just nonsense, now a trick of the mind
a sense of something that is not there oh, do you really have a soul? will your gods ever find you?
is there really something so terribly different about you? will you ever find the one?
the one who knows you the one who will always truly love you?
i think not
there is no such thing as true love break this trust? don't you see? i cannot trust
page 4 of 38 pages
“a fool's game” (continued)
trust is a fool's game trust only brings the dagger closer to my heart
page 5 of 38 pages
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“a momentary distraction”
in a darkened hallway i once cast a light
to see if you were there cannot see you now
only a momentary distraction an escape from the past
already forgotten in this place where lovers meet
when it has no meaning as we found out
this was not a beginning it was
a quick end
page 6 of 38 pages
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“as if by magic”
in the distance a rather tenuous connection
a voice is calling— (perhaps coming closer.)
never to tremble at the thought i can only wait here watching
meanwhile, your smile
no more precisely your lips entice me
speaking words, novels, libraries stores of information
that speech can never render
no doubt i could not be more obvious the “secret” was always out
as if by magic i am drawn to you
(and your ambition)
page 7 of 38 pages
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“a song neverending”
long after our days they will walk amongst the tombstones to read the inscriptions written there
with no way of knowing the person whom we had grown to be the beauty found in our experience
the passions that once burned so brightly within us no memory of our birth, our life, our death
the cycle of life continuing on without us
as if we had never been that tired, old piano playing
a song neverending as the fall leaves settle upon the ground
we are forgotten
page 8 of 38 pages
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“cross”
there is a young girl whose eyes i adore
and whose careless charms imprison me and will not let me go
she comes to me, smiling
she comes to me with words of love upon her lips
her arms outstretched with nails piercing her hands and feet bound to timbers which form a cross
crucified by my love
page 9 of 38 pages
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“dance”
when the wind is calm when the ocean is at rest
in the night when the city sleeps i awake from dreams of you i can still see you somehow
happily dancing to the music smiling as you move to the rhythm
caught in time like a photograph in my mind
if my soul was a song would you dance to it as well?
page 10 of 38 pages
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“emotional need”
need emotional need a need for love
i give it all to you but i must ask myself
what is it that your searching eyes
have found in me what is it
that i offer
you said you could listen to me
forever and that was a good start
i want to talk to you
about dreams that become reality about bonds that can never break
about a reason to live about the magic that lives in and around you
about the future i know nothing about
page 11 of 38 pages
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“epitaph”
i lie here amongst the ancient ruins and rest with eyes upturned toward the sky
knowing confidently that never a fleeting moment shall pass with thoughts of life
to wake me from this deep sleep no matter how frequently the winds of time
may pass over this sanctuary my slumber shall remain
eternal
page 12 of 38 pages
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“eternal”
i will meld with the earth and i shall fleet across the sky
and my ashes shall be strewn upon the sea i shall sleep boundlessly and eternally
deep within the confines of the sun my death will be a quiet one like the twinkling of a star
or the shooting of a comet such simple sorrow with such simple grace
remorseless hopeless
this paradise is infinite
page 13 of 38 pages
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“ever again”
ever again, although knowing the landscape of love and the small churchyard, with its complaining names
and the abyss where the others end, where dread silence reigns--ever again we set forth, two together,
under the ancient trees, ever again we rest among flowers, facing the sky.
ever again, with understanding and love within our hearts
and within our dark souls with their burning eyes and within our minds where emotions fly, where confusion
reigns--ever again we set forth, two together, across the timeworn desert, ever again we rest
under the ground, facing the sky.
* the first stanza of this poem was written by rainer maria rilke
page 14 of 38 pages
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“film”
like a dream, you came into my life your heart needing me as much as i needed you
so we made ourselves a sanctuary and dreamed a new start
a heavenly place held close to the heart
but then somehow this place became a cage
with furtive hands and arms shaking and harsh words like dark stones you hid these feelings deep inside
but i could see it in your eyes calling out to me
for love and understanding
from where did these feelings arise? was there something in your past?
something that hurt you deep inside? no matter
you’ve convinced yourself it’s time to run again
page 15 of 38 pages
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“flower heart”
in your eyes i recognize your pain
the need to run to find something
or someone to escape the pain that returns again
i know you know
no one can fill that space the warm memory
the not forgotten place i can only try
to make you laugh be there for you in this aftermath
but i truly don’t know
if i’ll hear from you again don’t know
if i’ll ever feel you again
not about some physical thing
i know you know just about being
hearing your words flow the sound of this tempo
like sunshine
page 16 of 38 pages
“flower heart” (continued)
on a warm, summer day so the song goes
your flower heart unfolds hearing words
where nothing is told
in time the words speak
in time the words proclaim
but you must understand what in fact is my aim
rushing you trapping you
this is not my game
i’d only like for this to transcend
be there for you when you need a friend
‘cause i know you must learn
i know you must grow
this is your time, now you should know i know
i would only ask
that when you see my shaken tree, boo
the memories that run like rain inside you, too
that perhaps then
page 17 of 38 pages
“flower heart” (continued)
you come to see why i’m fond of you
page 18 of 38 pages
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“hearts & minds”
if we look upon life as a series of doors
each one a path that lead us
in varying directions we can see
it is the heart and mind which chooses the path for us
the heart is our passion
an instinctive flame which kisses and caresses
and then sets us aloft amongst the moon and stars
to live what once were dreams of fantasy
of paradise
our mind then is our knowledge a pack rat of intuition
the pragmatic voice always understanding
always knowing the right thing to do
it must be said then that judgement cannot be made
by using the heart alone nor can it made
with only the mind because if the heart and mind
page 19 of 38 pages
“hearts & minds” (continued)
are not in agreement the soul, it becomes conflicted
it feels then like we are obscured by clouds
our thoughts then become heavy our bodies become drugged
we no longer trust the heart and mind and so question
everything we think or feel
in time, you should know
our thoughts will become clear again our bodies will return to us
when the heart and mind have once again come
to agreement
page 20 of 38 pages
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“inclusion”
all the bodies are beautiful whatever their composition
for somewhere in their recesses there lives the consciousness, the mind, the soul
and if they are unaware of their creation unable to communicate their beauty
creation will communicate their beauty if these lips are unable to form these truthful words
creation will speak these words you only have to listen. beauty is everywhere!
if only in the eyes of the thief of hearts, it still remains
cease to judge and love
page 21 of 38 pages
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“kuan yin”
an explosion of color when the sun becomes a lotus blossom as church bells ring throughout the city
round, luminous eyes scanning
softly, untouched, gentle your voice calls to me on winter nights
i can hear you
time unfolds days passing into night - relentless stars shooting across the night sky trams, trains - the subway in taipei
it is all a distant memory, now but you remain my love, so far away
although closer
only miles between us you are further somehow in spirit and so this prayer is put to flame burning words, a smoking prayer
rising, rising into the night air
kuan yin goddess of compassion and mercy goddess of love and understanding
please hear my prayer
page 22 of 38 pages
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“land of nevermore”
within the forest, tonight singing to the heavens
dancing 'round the runes talking with the sky
i and the others worshipping the dead gods
that are nevermore
within the forest, tonight raising hands to the heavens
reading the runes laughing at the sky
i and the others worshipping the dead gods
that are nevermore
within the forest, tonight praying to the heavens destroying the runes
sucking up the sky i and the others
worshipping the dead gods that are nevermore
page 23 of 38 pages
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“like life”
the light cascades all around
dares to bring you down a tunnel is all -- is everything
cannot stand to wear this frown hope to dream, to fly asunder
escape from the approaching thunder pleasure may come, but then fades away
this despair never too far away like life, we each are alone in this maze an eternity -- nights bleed into days
a voice has spoken, "have you found the key?" "turn the lock and be set free."
page 24 of 38 pages
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“memory”
carry thoughts upon the wind let the trees move in sequence
like some slow-motion camera filming instant replay of what has come before
moving tides of the ocean moving moon has control.
a sea of emotions come to torture me
a sailboat without a mast rocking wildly out on the water
without navigation to lead it ashore moving tides of the ocean moving
moon has control.
the maniacal, submerged cries of people talking contortion of their eyes and nose and mouth
emotions coming and going getting nowhere fast
moving tides of the ocean moving moon has control.
page 25 of 38 pages
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“old day”
have to slow down, now have to slow down
(take a deep breath.) i have to slow down
can no longer expect them to understand cannot expect them to be as
loving and trusting and honest as that which has been made in the likeness of god
at the epicenter of my formation pushing through the ocean surf
it swells forever forward and swells again backward these are the days at hand which nudge up next to me
like the sand between my toes
page 26 of 38 pages
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“seeking splendor”
there are so many side show, funhouse
crazy mirrors here people who reflect just who they think
you are
so rarely are the images anywhere near accurate
sometimes, i think no one will ever truly
see me, accept me, adore me for who i truly am
somehow then all my faults will outweigh
any and all gifts i may have been given
in this life
i want so much, you see to embrace these dreams of mine
to one day, be tethered heart and soul
to experience life in the most immensely beautiful way
i long for this day
when the games have ended when the mirror people speak
directly, openly, honestly
page 27 of 38 pages
“seeking splendor” (continued)
when this long and ragged journey has finally wound to its conclusion
when my dreams are no longer dreams when this life of seeking splendor
is now finally over
page 28 of 38 pages
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“spirit talk”
if i could write a poem that brought the world to you
that gave your days a special care that made your life now magical
then you would see the sun so brilliant and the night sky with its many stars
would dance for you and you would dance with it
then you would feel the spirit talk in you, around you, outside of you
and you would see your life now is a story each page talking
like a long forgotten friend a strangely familiar voice
so perfect
page 29 of 38 pages
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“symbiosis”
the symbiotic relationship of love ere entwined amidst the cliff and jagged rocks
emotion and spirit taking the plunge romantic, mood-setting, a red light
great chasm, welt of earth strip-mining dreams of a sort
the symbiotic relationship of love
a footnote for a philosopher no mathematician able to create an adequate formula
never an astronomer able to chart these bounds the poet unable to make his voice heard
strip-mining dreams of a sort
within a locked box without a key permit again pandora to find the daemons which lay within
tender, fleshy lips besiege my skin devoid of all emotion, the machine takes control
strip-mining dreams of a sort
page 30 of 38 pages
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“tarot”
it was out over dunes of sand
in a tired and empty lagoon where the dead lay to rest
that a black crow circled ‘round
it was here your voice said, “change,” as you dealt the cards
spreading out each one on the cold sand before me
i came to realize
it was my life there tumbling out
from that neat, little deck funny how it all seem to rest
in your hands
page 31 of 38 pages
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“the end”
an electric light rage, burning bright
the sun, he is the father little white pill
serene, laying still the moon, she is the mother
cats and dogs falling out of the sky the sun and the moon collide
the end it's the end
it's the end of the world
page 32 of 38 pages
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“this mortal clutch”
at night sometimes i find myself
talking to the walls talking to the world
talking to the energy that surrounds us all
i send my love out to you
thought you should know that in this mortal clutch
we call life as days turn into night the process continues in each waking moment
the rhythmic beat the pulse of life
down this passage we call time i love you i love you
i love you all
page 33 of 38 pages
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“this rose”
sometimes i wonder who started the tradition of giving a rose to someone you like. i wonder to myself why it would be a rose and what that rose symbolized. the rose of course is a flower – one of the earth’s most fragile plants. as with all plants, it takes time to nurture and grow. it is
also of course quite red – a very vibrant and passionate color. eye catching. romantic.
perhaps the rose was a symbol of human relationships – the fragility of each one of our lives. the rose then symbolized our passions – our hearts and souls – that in the right soil – with
bright sunlight and a little time could grow into something wondrously beautiful.
this rose, it is a symbol of beauty. it may wither and die. it may become a forgotten memory. on the other hand, it may be recognized for what it truly is – a warm gesture – as something
nice, thoughtful.
it should be said in closing that this rose it has little weight. it is not burdensome – it makes no demands upon you. it is just here with you to somehow – if it is able – if you choose to see it – to put a little sparkle in your day. if you are able to see it this way, you will have begun to truly
understand and appreciate this rose.
page 34 of 38 pages
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“wish”
sometimes i wish i could hide away
make the outside world somehow go away
crawl back into the place from which i came
in this world
so many varied, confusing images everything moving and changing
this long running movie forever going forward
in this life
my soul aches to make a difference to elevate my perception
my experience, my surroundings to feel again
to believe again in the heart of humanity
and so i find myself
going back often to days of my childhood with its incredible magic
and so i thank you for so many fond memories
old times now somehow
page 35 of 38 pages
“wish” (continued)
alive and new
now that my life seems passing into autumn
i am surprised by my surroundings but you should know
this is not my destination
winds are blowing i can feel change the trees swaying here in the forest
it's raining
on the inside, now but i can see
bright rays of sunshine up ahead
page 36 of 38 pages
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“glimmer”
unsaid there is something there
something words cannot convey when you look away
when you smile to yourself introspective
i see the light
the light burning brightly within you
i thank you for your temperament.
i thank you for your spirit.
and so, it must be said you will experience great beauty in this life.
indeed, you will live your dreams…
it is self-evident energy such as yours can only be returned
ten fold
page 37 of 38 pages
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“ultraviolet”
sometimes a door opens
an opportunity to know another
perhaps to feel the warmth of another spirit
sometimes, however
we would sooner slam the door shut
out of not -- meeting our expectations out of some -- inner fear of change
out of being -- vulnerable again
sometimes, though we throw the door wide
we let loose our inhibitions we shuffle off -- our fears, our insecurities
we brave the world outside our cage
passionate, romantic, mood-setting
like an ultraviolet light around the two of us a special glow, all our own
some secret, hidden energy flowing between us which only we can
tap into---
page 38 of 38 pages
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“unguarded”
heartfelt my words are heartfelt
like many before me reflecting the world around them
through open and honest language through the free expression
of the human experience singer, song writer,
painter, poet, musician
like the artist that dwells within us all unafraid of creative thought
unfiltered by rules and regulations unaffected by expectations
with a few choice words
almost too sincere leaves me vulnerable
leaves me– open to misunderstanding
leaves me– unguarded