The easiest way to describe Purim to any of our non-Jewish friends is to call it a

cross between Halloween and Saint Patty’s Day. On a very basic level this is true. This is when we put on masks or costumes and drink wine until we can’t think straight. These two actions seem like a lot of fun but are really quite contradictory. Masks and costumes are ways conceal and distort what is truly there. Drinking wine on the other hand allows for truth to flow out. As our tradition teaches if you analyze the gematria of wine (יין) it matches the gematria of secret At first it seems strange that we would couple two such opposite .(סוד)things together. It would seem to make more sense to either dress up cos-tumes and not drink on Purim, or to simply get drunk with no costumes at all.

However, if we take a closer look,we will see it makes complete sense. During the normal course of the year, we try (or should try) very hard to present ourselves in a very open manner. How we dress should reflect our character and who we are to the world. At the same time, we temper this honesty with concealment by keeping our thoughts and feelings a secret. The beauty of Purim is that we are forced to completely flip our priori-ties. Instead of trying to present ourselves honestly through appearances, we present ourselves honestly through our thoughts and feelings. And to temper this, we conceal ourselves by how we dress.

It is very important to have balance in our lives. By Hashem allowing us once a year to flip our order of priorities, he gives us the ability to gain a fuller and truer perspective of who we are. I bless anyone who reads

All Aboard for Purim 2012!

Spring 2012, Issue ∞ • Purim Baby! • March 7, 2012 • 14 Adar 5772

“Mesorah Mag is my favorite newspaper.” Andrew Getraer, Fleet Admiral of Rutgers Hillel

by Sam KaplanIn this issue . . .

Stories from at Sea:

Pages 1, 2, 3, 4

Schedule of Times

Shacharit: 8:15Megillah Reading During

Shacharit: 8:50Late Megillah

Reading: 10:30Purim Seudah at the

Weiss’s: 14:00 Mincha at Weiss’s: 16:00

Weekdays

Lost at Sea

Next Friday

Lost at Sea

cont on 2.

Hidden and Reve aled

I was creeping carefully last night after a hard day’s work

on the web. The rain began to pitter-patter and I felt as though it would drown me to death so I cobbled into a nearby building... oh, my my... FRATT PARRTTYYYY. Golly, what have we here? So much bboooozzzee. Oy, you, don’t

stamp on me. I’m a living creature too! Eek. I should leave.Hmmm. I remember that Jewish thought that when Jews drink they think they’re reaching true

happiness. But those people in that frat party didn’t seem to have reached such a deep level of hap-piness... I mean, I know that on festivals like Pesach and Sukkot there’s a mitzvah of ve-samachta b’chagecha, to be joyous on the festival, and on them Jews reach such a spiritual, deep and truly joyous level. I even like to sneak out a bit of left over deli-roll and chicken soup. Don’t tell anyone!

But maybe we’re not trying to reach the same level of joy on Purim. After all, take Pesach for example. Then, we’re celebrating a true redemption, from slavery to Sinai, from poverty to profundity, so we can reach a depth-joy, really reaching the deeper inner recesses of happiness. But on Purim, what redemption is there? The Gemara asks why we don’t say Hallel on Purim. One opinion explains that it is because we are still in exile under Achashverosh. We are saved, but not redeemed. We’re still in Persia (and things haven’t got better since. My tarantulian ancestors found themselves in the USA somehow. Arghh. Oh, my my, is that Archibauld the antelope dressing up as a Percibauld the Parakeet for Purim?! Golly gosh! He’s downright finding it difficult because he has too many legs and can’t fly. Oh, my my!)

Sorry, I digress. So, things haven’t been fully repaired yet. So we can’t truly be happy, we can’t reach the same joyous level as those other festivals. So what can we do? We have to get as happy as we can, which is a relatively superficial happiness, something to help us be happy whilst remembering that we are still in an unredeemed state (of America), and for that we drink.

Deep thoughts for a tarantula, you’re thinking? OK then, I’ll admit it’s a Rav Soloveitchik vort. On the Shalosh Regalim, we seek joy. On Purim, we search for happiness. Joy is a depth feeling, happiness a superficial mood. We experience joy lifnei Hashem (before God). On festivals, we have hetzio l’adam hetzio l’Hashem, half for ourselves and half for God. But we experience happiness amongst ourselves, not in the direct presence of God. If we drink, it’s to achieve happiness, not joy.

Happy Purim from Mishpachat Theraphosidae!

Deep Thoughts on Happiness and Joy

by Timothy the Tarantula

this, that this coming Purim, they gain (and remember) insight into themselves that they were previously blinded to, and may it help strength-en them in the study Torah and Mitzvot, and that we may merit Moshiach to come speedily when he’s supposed to come.

L’Chaim!

“Mi Hu Zeh, V’eizeh Hu!” This passuk (verse) has

different connotations depending on the time of year it is spoken. For example, right now, by Purim, it’s used by Esther to identify the evil, wicked character of Volde-mort- I mean Haman. Strangely enough, we use this same Passuk when we are singing the praises of Hashem on Simchat Torah when we start singing “Mi hu zeh, v’eizeh hu, zeh Keili v’anveihu!” It is interesting because the passuk is only found in Megillat Esther (at least that’s what my brother said when he looked it up in a concor-dance for me), so the fact is that it was written down was to specify wickedness and evil.

Although this is true, we often see things in Tanach and in Juda-ism where we turn what’s bad into good. The Gemara talks about a man, named Nachum Ish Gam Zu because he always said “gam zu l’tovah” –“This too is for the good,” (similar to my name as “Mar-telle the Pink” because, well, pink often just describes me) who had hardships but would always accept them as for the good in the long run. We see different traits that are generally associated with negativity and bad that are, instead, switched around (like Purim’s theme of “V’nahafoch Hu”). One of these traits belonged to King David (if I’m not mistaken, it was the trait of being blood-thirsty). This trait would normally be considered a bad trait to have- because, at least for me, being bloodthirsty is often associated with murderers. And let’s face it, we don’t view King David as a murderer; we see that he used this trait for good, for starting the wars that Hashem wanted. So I guess, the way we use the passuk by Simchat Torah is to illustrate the point that even if something is written as a negative or to designate someone as negative, it could be later on used for something extremely positive (yes, I generally think of Hashem as being positive).

It’s great how different themes of Purim (such as “V’nahafoch Hu”) can be reflected in various ways external to the Megillah as

Captain:Miriam Leichtman

Lieutenant: Jeff Rabinowitz

Ensign:Talia Friedman

Seamen: Washington IrvingIrving Washington

A.T. TappmanPretty in Pink

When Good Is Good and Bad is Goodby The Pink Sciurophobe

March 7:Mendel KlarJoe GoldsteinJoshua Aaron

March 11:Heidi Dunietz

March 14:Yael Moskowitz

March 15:Sarah Feinberg

March 17:Aliza Enker

Birthdays!

In the harem. HEGAI, ES-THER, and various other women are standing around. HEGAI is showcasing different boxes of different types of make-up.

HEGAI: Good morning, la-dies, and welcome to the king’s

harem! I am your chief of staff, Hegai. If there is anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable, please let us know! In the meantime, let’s get you started on our cosmetics program before you go before the king!

ESTHER: Can I read the ingredients first?

HEGAI: Now, these are secret recipes. I wouldn’t share them with just anyone. But you? For you? Anything.

He hands Esther some boxes. Esther reads the labels.

ESTHER: Eye-cream: powder, dried cow’s blood and…crushed ant eggs?! Ew. But may-be I could use the skin cream. Egg-whites, milk, that’s ok…honey, is this breakfast or cream?… and lead?!

HEGAI: Makes your skin whiter!

ESTHER: I think I’ll just let my natural beauty shine through. To the audience: and now you know why I didn’t ask to use any cosmetics when in the harem. I read the ingredients!

Megillah Outtakesby The Bibliothecary

opposed to just entirely internal to the Megil-lah- although the entirely internal ways are pretty awesome too! So, whatever time of year it is, whether it be Purim time (like it is now) or Simchas Torah time (like it’s not at the moment), think of the good as good and the nega-tive as unrealized good.

Purim Sameach!!