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Receding Goblins & Gremlinsan unsuitable sandboxy encounter

not really designed for a party of 3rd5thlevel Murder Hoboesclobbered together from a mish-mash of

Old School RPG retro-clone rulesets

(it kinda made sense at the time . . .)

image via hrwiki.org

YOU BRING THE PARTY, WE BRING THE SLIGHTLY

UNBALANCED BUT STILL KIND OF HILARIOUSLYINSPIRED GONZO

http://rendedpress.blogspot.com

Copyright 20142015

Rended Press & Matthew W. Schmeer

Rended Press Stock Number 05v2

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Game Ref Notes

In a post over on the Dragonsfoot forums regarding what might be in agoblins lair, I proposed the following:

A two-way inter-dimensional space/time portal to a used car lot in

Cleveland, Ohio, circa 1976; the goblins do maintenance on AMC

Gremlins for cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and cartons of BelAir

menthol cigarettes.

Mulling it over, I thought I needed to flesh this out a bit more. So I clobberedthis together. It is designed to be dropped in to any campaign, especially if

you like a whole lot of gonzo. Feel free to import it to your goblin lair, placing

the space/time portal in an appropriate location. This thing requires Game

Refs to do some pre-game prep in placing NPCs, encounters, and treasure in

rooms (along the lines of B1: In Search of the Unknown), so be sure to read the

whole darn thing at least once before attempting to use it.

Note: all vehicle stats use the system described in the free Mutants on Wheels

supplement for Mutant Future by John Wilson/Wilsonclan Games. Players

should be encouraged to start the cars and engage in vehicular combat in the

parking lot. Or the showroom. Or the service bays. The Game Ref may wish to

use an alternate jousting system, such as Paul Gormans house rules for

joustingor the Flailsnails Jousting Tourney Rules.

The Game Ref will also need to be familiar with Reverend Daks Firearm Rulesfor Swords & Wizardry to successfully utilize this scenario. Also, go grab a

papercragremlin here.

Stuffin blue is clickable and will take you to external resources on the web.

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1B7v0r2F6QAhLs7Qo7jnoBwYXffoH07cdS6h3wJCtGGc/previewhttp://www.goblinoidgames.com/mutantfuture.htmlhttp://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.flickr.com/photos/loudpop/3242082355/sizes/o/in/photostream/http://www.flickr.com/photos/loudpop/3242082355/sizes/o/in/photostream/http://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://swordplusone.com/Jousting_final.pdfhttp://swordplusone.com/Jousting_final.pdfhttp://paulgorman.org/roleplaying/dnd/whitebox_house_rules/whitebox_house_rules.pdfhttp://paulgorman.org/roleplaying/dnd/whitebox_house_rules/whitebox_house_rules.pdfhttp://paulgorman.org/roleplaying/dnd/whitebox_house_rules/whitebox_house_rules.pdfhttp://paulgorman.org/roleplaying/dnd/whitebox_house_rules/whitebox_house_rules.pdfhttp://www.goblinoidgames.com/mutantfuture.htmlhttp://www.goblinoidgames.com/mutantfuture.htmlhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1B7v0r2F6QAhLs7Qo7jnoBwYXffoH07cdS6h3wJCtGGc/previewhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1B7v0r2F6QAhLs7Qo7jnoBwYXffoH07cdS6h3wJCtGGc/previewhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1B7v0r2F6QAhLs7Qo7jnoBwYXffoH07cdS6h3wJCtGGc/previewhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1B7v0r2F6QAhLs7Qo7jnoBwYXffoH07cdS6h3wJCtGGc/previewhttp://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64544

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The Quick n Dirty LowdownHidden at the back of a small goblin lair is a two-way inter-dimensional

space/time portal to Harry Gobblens Used Cars (where Our Prie is Right!) in

Cleveland, Ohio, circa 1976. The goblins do maintenance on AMC Gremlins forcases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and cartons of BelAir menthol cigarettes.

Why The Goblins WorkLew Frampton, the Service Manager for the dealership, discovered the inter-

dimensional space/time portal to the goblins lair one night aer he mistook a

bottle of STP for his usual Dr. Nehi. In the grips of a vomitous bout of bowel

cramps, he woke up surrounded by goblins, whom he first mistook for the

new evening mechanic crew. One of them cured Lew with a healing potion

(actually a mixture of week-old bear milk and gooseberry juice), and in return

Lew pledged to help the goblins learn the art of American compact car repair.

The goblins are highly skilled mechanics, having been trained over the past

three years by select members of the dealerships regular crew at Lews

behest (they thought the goblins were just ugly midgets with a knack for car

repair). The goblins supplemented this training back home in the KnownRealm by taking lessons from previously captured and tortured tinker

gnomes. As it turns out, the goblins hunched forms, small fingers, disregard

for hygiene, and relentless focus on accomplishing a task make them ideally

suited for working on the mid-1970 AMC line of automobiles.

The goblins are not ASE-certified, yet have organized their own (unofficial)

UAW chapter, Local 1005G, aer reading through some union literature leby

one of the daytime mechanics. Membership is currently limited to the goblins,but they are on a recruitment drive. The Ohio Automobile Dealership

Association does not recognize the bargaining rights of these otherwordly

workers, mostly because they do not believe that goblins exist. This is a sore

point of contention with the goblins.

Despite the lack of official recognition, the goblins have worked out a

satisfactory payment arrangement with Lew: the goblins receive 2 cases ofPabst Blue Ribbon and a carton of BelAir menthol cigarettes for each car

successfully repaired before sunrise.

The goblins enjoy their work, and are highly honored among their own kind.

They enjoy privileges of rank surpassed only by a Goblin King.

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The Goblin HordeThe goblins arrive at work through the portal every night at dusk and must be

gone by dawn so that normal human customers in 1976 dont get freaked out.

There is a 1 in 50 chance that one of the goblins doesnt make it back to thegoblin lair each night and must hide in the parts storage room (Area 12)

during daylight hours.

All goblins wear blue coveralls or Dickey work pants, blue work shirts with an

embroidered name patch, a trucker cap with the Harry Gobblen logo (a

smiling goblin with the phrase Our Prie is Right! in bubble letters), and

black, steel-toe leather work boots.

During downtime, the goblins have formed a prog-rock garage band and

recorded a 4-track demo based on a comic from an imported copy of House of

Hammermagazine someone le in the bathroom. The goblins are pretty good

music-wise and are considering going on tour. Their demo has somehow

landed in the hands of an Italian horror film director, who wants to hire them

to create the soundtrack to his next feature. He doesnt know they are actual

goblins, but thinks The Goblin Horde is a great band name.

The Game Ref may wish to note the location and activities of each goblin on

the map before game time, or just assume they are busy at work in the service

bay.

Walter & Fabiopractice harmonizing on Led Zeppelins Black Dog.

4

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The Goblins1. Walter: AC: 6[13], HP: 8, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 or 1d6+1 (Grease Gun +1 loaded

with acidic owlbear snot). Lead vocals. Snarly.

2. Massimo: AC: 6[13], HP: 12, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 or 1d6+2 (Wrench +2). Playsguitar. Quick witted.

3. Claudio: AC: 6[13], HP: 11, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 or 1d6+1 (Hammer +1). Plays

Mellotron. Boisterous.

4. Fabio: AC: 6[13], HP: 10, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 or 1d8+1 (Blowtorch +1). Plays

bass. Quiet & sullen.

5. Agostino: AC: 6[13], HP: 12, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 or 1d6+2 (Phillips Screwdriver

+1). Plays drums. Mute.

6. Maurizio: AC: 6[13], HP: 10, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 or 1d6+1 (Wrench +1). Plays

keyboards. Usually stoned.

7. Giorgio G (service manager): AC: 6[13], HP: 11, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 or 1d4+2

(Metal Clipboard +2). Band manager. Direct & easily agitated.

8. Giorgio A (shop steward): AC: 6[13], HP: 15, #AT: 1, D: 1d6+1 or 1d6+3

(Crowbar +3). Sound engineer. Relaxed yet wary.

Dealership NPCs1. Harry Gobblen is a middle-age, overweight used car salesman who

made good, motivated by a strong survival instinct. He has an unyielding

boisterous and affable personality. He is known throughout the

Cleveland metropolitan area for his corny car commercials. His Fast-

Talking Sonic Blast (rapid-fire speech combined with a booming voice)

has earned him two local Clio awards. He is fairly liberal with his politics

and was one of the first used car dealers in the country to encourage the

unionization of his shops. He pays a fair wage, is an equal-opportunityemployer, and is the most hated member of the Cleveland Area Chamber

of Commerce because he doesnt tow the party line. Harry tends to dress

in cheap & ugly plaid suits, and usually sports a homburg. He does not

know about Lew Framptons arrangement with the goblins, but knows

something is up because the books dont balance.

Harry Gobblen: 5th level used auto dealer, AC: 9[10], HP: 13, #AT: 1 or

special, D: 1d6 (Lug Wrench) or 1d8 Fast-Talking Sonic Blast

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2. Lew Frampton, the regular daytime Service Manager, is an early-30s

African-American male who served five combat tours in Vietnam (1964

1969) and then used the GI Bill to go to vocational college to learn auto

repair. Hes seen some shit, and has no problem dealing with otherwordlycreatures; the goblins respect him. He has a direct, no-nonsense

management style and is focused on running the best shop possible. He

is usually dressed in a blue work shirt, blue Dickey work pants, and black,

steel-toe leather work boots. Although Lew is Harry Gobblens most

trusted employee, Lew has no problem deceiving Harry with the

unofficial goblin work crew, as the goblins do good work.

Lew Frampton: 3rd level service manager, AC: 9[10], HP: 9, #AT: 2, D:

1d6+1 (Wrench +1) / 1d4 (Metal Clipboard)3. Tally Johnson is a 22-year-old receptionist with a perfect manicure. She

oen forgets her house keys and has to come back to the dealership to

retrieve them. She doesnt know that she knows the combination to the

safe in the Financial Services office. She also doesnt know about the

goblins.

Tally Johnson: 1st level receptionist, AC: 9[10], HP: 4, #AT: 1, D: 1d4

(Raking Nails)

4. Darius Silver is a 40ish, world-renown Italian film director of low-budget,

high-grossing horror suspense films. He is in Cleveland to recruit The

Goblin Horde to record the soundtrack to his next movie. He does not

speak English, but his Withering Stare has the ability to stop an actress in

her tracks.

Darius Silver, 6th level film director: AC: 9[10], HP: 11, #AT: 1 or

special, D: 1d6+1 (Hatchet +1)or 1d8 Withering Stare

5. Hank LePew is an ASE-certified mechanic, knowledgeable in all areas ofvehicle maintenance, although he specializes in engine work. Hes in his

late 20s, extremely cocky, and is an ardent fan of Alice Cooper and KISS,

even sporting a KISS Army tattoo on his le forearm. He helped train the

goblins and also introduced them to rock music.

Hank LePew: 6th level mechanic, AC: 9[10], HP: 12, #AT: 1, D: 1d6

(Wrench or Socket Driver)

6. Mark Makowski is an ASE-certified mechanic who specializes in collision

repair. In his mid-20s, he has a crush on Tally. He chain smokes Marlboros

and enjoys torturing small animals in his spare time.

Mark Makowski: 6th level mechanic,AC: 9[10], HP: 12, #AT: 1, D: 1d6

(Wrench or Socket Driver)

6

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7. Marsha Pankow is one of the few ASE-certified female mechanics in all of

Cleveland. Shes hot-tempered and doesnt take crap from anyone. She

once forced Hank to apologize for groping her as she walked past by

taking a blowtorch to his crotch. Shes 32 and raising two kids on herown. She oen works late and helped Lew train the goblins.

Marsha Pankow: 5th level mechanic,AC: 9[10], HP: 10, #AT: 1, D: 1d8

(Blowtorch)

8. Herb Smithyton, Financial Services Manager, is in charge of all

purchases, financing, insurance, and final sales paperwork for the

dealership. Herb is not originally from Cleveland, but is a renegade

Thaumaturgist from the Known Realm. He was assumed dead aer a

battle with the Order of the Bruised Fist several years ago. He used ascroll of Dimension Portal to arrive in Cleveland and decided to stay. He

took night classes in business & finance at Cuyahoga Community College

and worked his way through a series of jobs to his present position. He

knows about the portal and the goblins. The goblins think he is

responsible for the portal, but Smithyton isnt knowledgable enough to

work a dweomer that powerful. Hes embezzling from the dealership.

Herb Smithyton: 5th level magic user,AC: 9[10], HP: 9, #AT: 1; special:

Charm Person (x3), Sleep, Phantasmal Force, Detect Thoughts (ESP),

and Fireballspells, D: 1d6+1 (Dagger +2)

Herb Smithyton

Hell help you afford your new car on your budget!

7

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Random Showroom DenizensEven though the dealership is closed, a few time-hopping customers are

hanging around or just passing through. Roll once, twice, or thrice to

populate the showroom (Area 1). Showroom denizens tend to stay in theshowroom, except for Hemingway, who acts like he owns the place (Game

Refs may want to incorporate a Wandering Hemingway check). Use Reverend

Daks Firearm Rules for Swords & Wizardryfor firearm combat.

1. TEC Agent Max Walker. Agent Walker is on vacation in 1976 and is having

the oil changed on his car, The Pale Hurrah (seeArea 14).

TEC Agent Max Walker: 10th level fighter, AC: 5[14], HP: 52, #AT: 1, D:

1d8 per bullet (Timecop Beretta, 2 shots per attack)

2. Lyle Swann. The helicopter took a few bullets and had to ditch him on

the way back to 1982. Hes just waiting for a ride home. Hes a total creep,

too, as all hell talk about is the lovemaking techniques of his great-great-

grandmother.

Lyle Swann: 2nd level fighter, AC: 7[12], HP: 7, #AT: 1, D: 1d8 per bullet

(antique Colt six-shooter, 1 shot per attack)

3. John Leslie Stevenson. Hes only here for 1d6 hours. Then hell simplydisappear, even if in the middle of a sentence, and appear somewhere

else in time and space.

John Leslie Stevenson: 5th level thief, AC: 7[12], HP: 16, #AT: 1, D:

1d6+1 (Wicked Looking Victorian Dagger +2)

4. Og. Although a dwarf, he gets along with the goblins because he doesnt

give them any lip. Hes really just here for the beer, and is surrounded by

sixteen empty cases worth of PBR cans.

Og: 5thlevelDwarf, AC: 5[14], HP: 23, #AT: 1, D: 1d6+2 (Club +2)5. Princess Joanna. Shes dressed in a peasant blouse and bell-bottoms,

but its definitely Joanna. Shes waiting for Rufus to show up and help pay

the bill for work done on her ride, Sir Buckleys Pride (see Area 14). The

car is named aer the Royal Ugly Dude she didnt marry.

Princess Joanna: 3rd level elf, AC: 9[10], HP: 15, #AT: 1, D: 1d6-1

(dagger)

8

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_%26_Ted%27s_Excellent_Adventurehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Banditshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_After_Time_%281979_film%29http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timerider:_The_Adventure_of_Lyle_Swannhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timerider:_The_Adventure_of_Lyle_Swannhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timerider:_The_Adventure_of_Lyle_Swannhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timecophttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timecophttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timecophttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_%26_Ted%27s_Excellent_Adventurehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_%26_Ted%27s_Excellent_Adventurehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Banditshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Banditshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_After_Time_%281979_film%29http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_After_Time_%281979_film%29http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timerider:_The_Adventure_of_Lyle_Swannhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timerider:_The_Adventure_of_Lyle_Swannhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timecophttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timecophttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dakhttp://www.d20swsrd.com/swords-and-wizardry-srd/home-brews/firearm-rules-by-reverend-dak

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6. Frank. Hes a giant ethereal rabbit with a demonic face who may or may

not be dead. Hes not sure. In fact, you really shouldnt listen to Frank or

take his advice, as you might do things you might regret. Hes waiting for

his Volkswagon Rabbit, which will be ready in 28 days even though thereisnt a VW on the lot.

Frank: 2nd level elf (variant), AC: 7[12], HP: 9, #AT: 1; special:

Protection from Chaos spell, D: 1d8 per bullet (Custom Colt Series 80,

2 shots per attack)

7. Ned Reyerson. He was on his way home to Punxsutawney aer an

insurance convention in downtown Cleveland when he blew a tire on his

trusty car, The Vanilla Shake (see Area 14). Hell try to sell you insurance.

Buy it or be annoyed to death (no Save).Ned Ryerson: 2nd level magic user, AC: 9[10], HP: 5, #AT: 1; special:

Sleep, Repel Person [reverse of Charm Person] spells, D: 1d6+1

(Briefcase +1, as club)

8. Old Biff. No, he didnt make it back to Hill Valley circa 2015 because he

changed his future timeline when he gave his younger self the almanac in

1955. On the way back to his own timeline, the law of space-time paradox

correction caught up with him and dumped his ass in 1976 while things

get sorted out. Hes angry and incontinent, which for Biff is a lethal

combination.

Old Biff: 7th level fighter, AC: 9[10], HP: 32, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 +1/+2 (Cane

+1, +2 Against Knuckleheads)

9. Peggy Sue. Aer reliving high school and surviving the experience during

her 25th high school class reunion, Peggy Sue has found herself in a

similar situation at her 50th high school reunion. Only now, shes reliving

an affair she had with a Pacer mechanic aer her marriage to Charlie hit arough patch. Shes moony and cant wait to see her loverman, who

happens to be Fabio, one of the goblins in the service bay.

Peggy Sue: 1st level fighter, AC: 9[10], HP: 4, #AT: 1, D: 1d6+1 (Strudel

+1, as club)

10. Ernest Hemingway. Hes kind of a dick. He believes he is better than

everyone else. And he is.

Ernest Hemingway: 10th level fighter, AC: 7[12], HP: 56, #AT: 2 fists/1

W. & C. Scott & Son Monte Carlo B shotgun, D: 1d6+1 per fist

(beserker rage) / 1d12 (1 blast per attack)

9

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_in_Parishttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Sue_Got_Marriedhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Sue_Got_Marriedhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Sue_Got_Marriedhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_to_the_Future_Part_IIhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundhog_Day_%28film%29http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundhog_Day_%28film%29http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_in_Parishttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_in_Parishttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Sue_Got_Marriedhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Sue_Got_Marriedhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_to_the_Future_Part_IIhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_to_the_Future_Part_IIhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundhog_Day_%28film%29http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundhog_Day_%28film%29http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donnie_darkohttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donnie_darko

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Reaction Table: Unexpected VisitorsWhen the PCs walk into the showroom, consult the following table to

determine the inhabitants reactions to their arrival. Roll 1d6, adjusting with

modifiers as the case may warrant.

Modifiers:

+1 to roll if PCs present a semi-plausible story to their arrival, appear friendly,

offer to help, etc.

1 to roll if PC party includes dwarves, appear menacing or stand-offish, make

snarky comments about the dcor, etc.

0. The NPCs are stoned out of their gourds. Or maybe its carbon monoxide

poisoning. They are glassy-eyed, dull-witted, and lethargic.

1. The NPCs are frustrated waiting for their vehicles. Theyve been told time

and again their cars will be ready soon, but this has gone on for untold

hours. The complimentary coffee inArea 8has run out, the bathrooms in

Area 6 are out of toilet paper, and theres a bunch of magazines soaking

in a pool of blood on a coff

ee table in the showroom (Area 1). If present,Frank is quietly sobbing offin a corner and Maxis pacing in a tight circle.

You can cut the tension with a knife.

2. The NPCs refuse to look or speak to each other. They interact with the

PCs, but totally ignore each other. They attempt to use the PCs as

intermediaries (i.e tell him that I said that . . .) but the root cause of the

animosities between them will never be revealed. Lyle and Joanna are

especially angry with each other.

3. The NPCs welcome the PCs like long-time friends, going out of their wayto be friendly and useful. Except for Hemingway, who just wants to know

if they have anything to drink. And then he challenges the PCs to a

drinking contest. And then a wrestling match.

4. NPCs in the showroom are friendly, but complete boors. They regale the

PCs with tales of their prowess and conquests, with particular attention

to what was served at meals whilst they engaged in their adventures.

5. 75% chance an NPC attempts to seduce a party member. 90% chance if

the party includes a female dwarf. Otherwise, the NPCs treat the party

with restrained respect.

6. NPCs are polite, but unhelpful, except for Ned, who is just so damned

annoying that even the other NPCs are irritated with him.

7. NPCs are in time flux (they appear to be frozen in place to PCs).

10

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WHATS GOING ONWhen the PCs enter the service bay, the goblins will be engaged in some sort

of furious activity. Roll 1d12 to find out what it is:

1. The goblins are modding a Gremlin to run on atomic power. All PCs mustSave vs. Death Ray. If successful, PCs take 1d20 radiation damage.

Otherwise, suffer long-term effects of radiation poisoning, permanently

losing 3 hp per day until death as their symptoms manifest (which

include high fever, diarrhea, vomiting, dizziness and disorientation, etc.).

PCs may be cleansed with a Cure Disease spell cast by a cleric of thrice

the sufferers level.

2. The goblins are drunk. They are swilling PBR as they work on the cars,

pouring beer into transmissions, peeing in the brake lines, etc. Full-on

goblin party mayhem is in progress.

3. Band practice. The goblins have cleared the center of the shop floor and

are jamming on their instruments. Roll 1d8 to determine which song

(google them on YouTube) they are currently running through for the first

time (1d8) :

1. Lady of the Lake by Starcastle

2. Never Been Any Reason by Head East3. Thick as a Brick by Jethro Tull

4. Starless by King Crimson

5. Close to the Edge by Yes

6. A Passage to Bangkok by Rush

7. Fresh Out of Botstal by Stallion

8. Turn It Down by The Sweet4. Gremlin jousting. The goblins are preparing to joust out in the parking lot

or out on the street. It takes two gremlins to drive (one at the wheel, the

other on the pedals) and one gremlin sitting on the roof wielding a lance

and shield constructed out of triple-layered PBR cans. The Game Ref

should refer to his jousting/vehicle combat rules of choice.

5. Goblins are working on Joannas car, Sir Buckleys Pride (see vehicle list

for Area 14), but have accidentally filled the tanks with helium instead of

hydrogen. The car is floating on the ceiling and the goblins have even

squeakier voices than normal. PCs must Save vs. Disease or suffer 4 to

CHR as their voices increase in pitch.

6. Normal work shi. The goblins are busily repairing whichever vehicles are

in the service bays.

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7. Fuel explosion. One of the goblins is smoking a cigarette while working

on a carburetor. As soon as the PCs walk in, he gets distracted and hot

embers drop from the cigarette into the carb. BOOM.

8. Union meeting. The goblins have arranged metal folding chairs in a half-circle and Giorgio A (the shop steward) is leading a discussion on the finer

points of Roberts Rules of Order to clear up the procedures necessary to

limit or extend the limits of a debate. The goblins have been arguing

whether to demand a wage increase of 2 cartons of BelAirs per Gremlin

repaired.

9. Bugbear piata death match. The goblins have captured and chained two

bugbears to engine hoists and are encouraging them to beat each other

to death with lug wrenches. The goblins are taking bets on each blow andon the overall outcome of the fight.

10. Cleaning crew. The goblins are slowly and fastidiously cleaning the entire

garage as Lew Frampton oversees the whole affair. The shop is half-way

clean, and Frampton is engaged in a heated debate with Giorgio A and

Giorgio B about whether this work is covered in their union contract.

11. The entire garage is empty. The goblins have recently abandoned their

work, and there is even a cigarette or two still smoking in ashtrays

around the shop. But theres not a goblin in sight in the garage, so they

must be elsewere on the premises.

12. The goblins jump out and yell SURPRISE!. They unfurl a banner from

the ceiling that reads HAPY BERFDAY WALLTERRR!. One of the goblins is

carrying a large Cassata cake and others are using kazoos to perform

Happy Birthday to You. There is a 50% chance Walter will walk in 23

minutes aer the PCs.

12

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The PortalOn the goblin lair side, the portal is embedded into a cave wall, hidden

behind a well-worn manticore hide. It pulses from black and white with

reddish edges to a swirling mass of frothing blood red, something like this:

credit: Wikimedia.org

(picture this as an annoying animated GIF)

Adventurers bold enough to leap through the portal will find themselves

transported to the foot of a dark staircase (the unnumbered staircase

between areas 6 & 8 on the map; the portal is that little square room thingy).

PCs may pass freely through the portal between dusk and dawn, but the

portal closes during daylight hours.

If the goblins side of the portal is le uncovered, then other creatures may

wander through. Consult the Wandering Encountertable on the next page as

needed.

13

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Wandering EncountersIf using this table to stock rooms as indicated on the Map Key, roll 1d4 first;

12 indicates no encounter in the room; on a 34, roll 1d12 to choose the

encounter.

1. Giant Warrior Ant (3):AC: 3[16], HD: 3, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 (bite + poison)

2. Bugbear (2): AC: 5[14], HD: 3, #AT: 1, D: 2d4 (Bite) or 1d6 (Club)

3. Non-Lethal Small Giant Centipede (8):AC: 9[10], HD: 1d2 hp, #AT: 1, D: 1

hp

4. Greater Giant Spider:AC: 4[15], HD: 4+2, #AT: 1, D: 1d6+2 (Bite + poison)

5. Hobgoblins (3): AC: 5[14], HD: 1+1, #AT: 1, D: 1d4+1 (Crossbow with

about 10 bolts each)

6. Wolf:AC: 7[12], HD: 2+2, #AT: 1, D: 1d4+1 (Bite)

7. Vampire Bat (3):AC: 8[11], HD: 1, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 (Bite + sucks blood)

8. Owlbear:AC: 5[14], HD: 5+1, #AT: 2 + special, D: 1d6 (Claws) / 2d6 (Bite) +

may hug for additional 2d8 if to-hit roll is 18+

9. Blink Dog (4):AC: 5[15], HD: 4, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 (Bite)

10. Phase Spider (2):AC: 3[16], HD: 2+2, #AT: 1, D: 1d6 (Bite + poison)

11. Bear:AC: 7[12], HD: 4+1, #AT: 2, D: 1d6 (Claws) / 1d6 (Bite)12. Monstrously Huge Giant Rat (4):AC: 6[13], HD: 3, #AT: 2 + special, D: 1d6

(Claws) / 1d6 (Bite); 5% are diseased

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Map

I

Image from Gardnerfox.com

(OK, its a Cooper Mini dealership, but just roll with it)

15

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Map KeyNote: TT1, TT2, or TT3aer room names indicate the Game Ref should roll for

the rooms treasure content on the indicated treasure tables in this module.

WEindicates a roll on the wandering encounter chart to stock the room.

1. Showroom

Showroom denizens hang out here, usually sitting in the waiting area reading

old magazines, chatting amongst themselves, or checking out the display car.

There is only one car in the showroom at any given time, parked on the grid

located in the center of the showroom floor. Roll 1d6 on the table below to

determine which car is on display. The keys are in the managers office (Area

10).

MC Gremlins

1. The Starsky

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 95mph

Cargo: 4 passengers or 800lbs

Structural Hit Points: 30Armor: AC7

Weaponry: none

2.The Hutch

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 95mph

Cargo: 4 passengers or 800lbs

Structural Hit Points: 30

Armor: AC7

Weaponry: none

MC Pacers

3. Goldeneye

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 90mphCargo: 4 passengers, or 800lbs

Structural Hit Points: 30

Armor: AC7

Weaponry: none

16

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4. The Topsider

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 90mph

Cargo: 4 passengers, or 800lbsStructural Hit Points: 30

Armor: AC7

Weaponry: none

MC Hornet Sportabout

5.

R

T

C

St

A

W

The Kato

quired Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

p Speed: 115mph

rgo: 4 passengers, or 800lbs

ructural Hit Points: 30

mor: AC7

eaponry: none

MC Matador Coupe

6.R

T

C

St

A

W

El Hombrequired Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

p Speed: 125mph

rgo: 4 passengers, or 800lbs

ructural Hit Points: 30

mor: AC7

eaponry: none

Roll 1d6 to determine whats in the trunk of the display vehicle:

1. A black leather rucksack containing 6,809sp and 9,820cp.

2. A white canvas pouch containing 4,362gp, 149sp, and 11,320cp.

3. A red cloth satchel containing 34gp, 205sp, and 3,045cp.

4. Set of 9 baked and glazed clay tiles with a unicorn painted on them;

worth 223gp total.

5. Scroll of Polymorph Other, a leather knapsack containing 10gp, 128sp,

and 3,325cp and a small handwoven rug worth 189gp.

6. A brown leather satchel containing 4,136gp, 1,732sp, 9,260cp, a War

hammer head made of mithril with 4 gems (malachite) worth 156gp

decorating the head.

17

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2. Service Advisors (TT3)

This is an office area for the dealership employees. Although employees are

not supposed to keep personal belongings at work, some do (the idiots

evidently never expected a ragtag group of Murder Hoboes to wanderthrough).

3. Parts Shipping & Receiving (WE; TT3)

Parts come in, parts go out. Not much to it. The goblins arent allowed back

here, however. If there isnt a wandering encounter here, theres a 30%

chance that one of the regular mechanics (see Dealership NPClist) is working

a bit late unpacking and stocking parts.

4. Customer Entrance

Nothing fancy, just the way in. I mean, really, do I have to even write

something here to give you a description for your players? Seriously? Okay,

here goes . . .a crack in the gutter slightly above the ledoor lets a trickle of

water flow down to the entrance areas floor. The water pools near the base of

the wall, and a rivulet runs along the wall and out into the showroom (Area

1). The water smells fresh and is potable, but PCs foolish enough to . . . screw

this. The doors are locked. Period. Theres a 50% chance Darius Silver is

outside trying to get in. His feet are wet.

5. Service Drop Off(WE)

Folks drop their cars off here and then they are driven around to Area 7 for

service intake. This is also the starting point for one of the cars when goblin

jousting.

6. Restrooms (TT3x2)

Just what it says on the door. Except Herb trapped an Eye of Terror in the

mens just before the PCs arrived on the scene (see Labyrinth Lord Advanced

Edition Companion). The Eye of Terror is currently Polymorphed into the shape

of a soap dispenser. Four of his eyes are blind due to the soap.

Eye of Terror:AC: 0[19] (body), 2[17](central eye) 3[16](eye stalks), HD:

1012, HP: 63, #AT: 3 (2 tentacles + bite); D: 1d6/1d6/1d4 + specials.

7. Service Drive (WE; TT3)

If the goblins arent in the service bays, they are hanging out here, maybe

even jamming on their instruments. This area is otherwise usually empty.

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8. Cafe/Lounge (WE; TT2x2)

This is an open lounge with complimentary coffee & donuts, including two 25-

inch Zenith credenza television, one of which even has a Sears Tele-Games

PONGhooked up to entertain waiting customers. There are a few books andmagazines laying around, too.

9. Finance & Insurance

This is Herb Smithytons domain. Its a fairly nondescript, typical office. The

keys to the display cars are in a drawer in Herbs desk. Theres a digital floor

safe under Herbs desk. The combination is the same as Tallys phone

extension. Inside the safe are a Wand of Confusion shaped like a fountain pen

(1 charge le), 2 Knock scrolls, a vial of Healing Potion, and a pack ofMarlboros. Also in the safe is $930.72 and a passport for a Wimbley Q.

Snuffleport that features Herbs picture.

10. Manager (TT1; TT3)

This is Harry Gobblensoffice. He has a great picture window looking out on

Montgomery Avenue and the walls are covered in award plaques and

memorabilia. Harry is hardly ever here (20% chance), as he prefers to be out

glad-handing customers.

11. Retail Parts (WE; TT1; TT2)

This area mostly stocks AMC-themed tchotchkes such as Gremlin-logoed

keychains, T-shirts, trucker caps, and such. The Harry Gobblen logo is proudly

displayed on several racks of merchandise including a whole stack of FREE

bumper stickers (take as many as you want!).

19

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12.Parts Storage

This small warehouse stocks most easily replaceable parts for the AMC line. I

could give you a list, but you are seriously better off just googling AMC

Gremlin parts listif you need that level of granularity.

If its daytime, theres a 1 in 50 chance that one of the goblins didnt make it

back through the portal and is sleeping somewhere amongst all the body

panels, engine blocks, exhaust pipes, and other parts .

In the back annex are 6d100 cases of PBR and and 3d100 cartons BelAirs.

The Staffof Life

Swilled by goblins, so it mustto be good!

The Rod of Death

Refreshingly addictive!

13. Service Manager (TT2; TT3)

This is Lew Framptons office area. Its small and cramped so Lew spends

most of his time out on the floor. Hes got an extra set of work clothes hanging

on the back of the door. The desk is littered with parts orders and service

tickets, but there might be some stuffin the drawers and filing cabinets.

14. Service Bays (TT3x2)

The goblins only work on Gremlins. At present there are five Gremlins on the

lis. The goblins regularly do routine maintenance, but have modified some

vehicles with special weaponry and Armor. The following cars are in various

states of servicing; for each car, roll 1d6 on the following table to determine

its drivability:

1-2 Inoperable; major mechanical parts missing.

3-4 Operable, butwill stop working within 30 minutes for unknown reasons.

5-6 Tip-top shape. 100% roadworthy & ready for action.

20

http://www.jcwhitney.com/american-motors-gremlin/d33j1s5.jcwxhttp://www.jcwhitney.com/american-motors-gremlin/d33j1s5.jcwxhttp://www.jcwhitney.com/american-motors-gremlin/d33j1s5.jcwxhttp://www.jcwhitney.com/american-motors-gremlin/d33j1s5.jcwxhttp://www.jcwhitney.com/american-motors-gremlin/d33j1s5.jcwxhttp://thumbs.ebaystatic.com/d/w225/m/mMErW44yX3SuXDE0EiIfMzw.jpghttp://thumbs.ebaystatic.com/d/w225/m/mMErW44yX3SuXDE0EiIfMzw.jpghttp://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID18340/images/PabstBlueRibbon.jpghttp://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID18340/images/PabstBlueRibbon.jpg

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The Duluth Special

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 95 mphCargo: 4 passengers or 800lbs

Structural Hit Points: 35

Armor: AC5

Weaponry: Flamethrowers (2d10

damage)

Modified with bullet-proof glass;

headlights have been removed andreplaced with napalm-fired

flamethrowers. The battery &

alternator are currently removed.

Framptons Wife

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 95 mph

Cargo: 4 passengers or 800lbs

Structural Hit Points: 30

Armor: AC7

Weaponry: none

Tires need balancing; leaks oil like a

sieve, rack & pinion needs work.

The Vanilla Shake

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 95 mph

Cargo: 4 passengers or 800lbs

Structural Hit Points: 35

Armor: AC4

Weaponry: none

Has frame damage, shudders when

driven. Blown passenger side rear tire.

Armored panels.

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The Pale Hurrah

Required Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 95 mph

Cargo: 4 passengers or 800lbsStructural Hit Points: 30

Armor: AC7

Weaponry: none

Just in for an oil change; otherwise is a

decent vehicle.

Sir Buckleys PrideRequired Crew: 1 (or 2 goblins)

Top Speed: 95 mph

Cargo: 4 passengers or 800lbs

Structural Hit Points: 30

Armor: AC7

Weaponry: 2 Headlight Machineguns

(1d8 per bullet; 6 shots per attack)

This one has been specially modified

to run on hydrogen. Unfortunately,

theres not a lot of hydrogen lein the

six hydrogen tanks strapped in the

coverted backseat & trunk area.

15. Compressor (WE)This area houses the industrial air compressor for the shop.

16. Fluids Containment

Housed on this outdoor concrete patio are drums full of drainage from all the

cars the dealership works on. The drums are unlabeled (clearly in violation of

local & federal ordinances), but the goblins seem to know what liquid goes in

which barrel. In fact, theyve someone managed to enchant the barrels so

their contents arent as poisonous as they should be. Roll 1d10 to determine a

barrels contents and effects. Anyone sampling the liquids must Save vs.

Poison or suffer 1d6+2 damage and suffer a 2 to all combat rolls for 1d6

rounds. Successful saves gain the rolled effect.

22

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Roll Liquid Appearance Effect

1. Gasoline Rainbow slick; tastes like

spaghetti sauce.

Grants Spider Climbingfor

1d4 days.

2. Oil Sickly yellow-green; smells

and tastes highly of sea

salt.

Save vs. Poison again; take

1d6 damage for failed rolls

and then be immune to

poison for the same number

of days.

3. Antifreeze/Radiator

Fluid

Sparkly lavender and

smells like bacon.

Acts as Oil of Slipperiness.

4. Power Steering Fluid Clear liquid that smells like

sugar cookies, but tastes

like coconut.

Gain a long sticky frog

tongue for 1d6 days (grants

extra attack as Whip +1).

5. Automatic

Transmission Fluid

Tastes like a honeydew

melon slathered in stone-

ground mustard. Looks like

chicken stock.

Polymorphinto a mouse.

6. Window Washer Fluid Appears in all manners likeplain vinegar.

Bad luck; suffer3 to all rollsfor 1d4 days.

7. Gear Oil A slightly oily, green-tinged

liquid that tastes like goat

milk mixed with

lemongrass.

Gain the ability to speak

with plants for 1d6 days .

8. Brake/Clutch Fluid Smells like teen spirit,

tastes like whiskey with arich honey color.

Provides a +2 morale bonus

to all rolls for 1d4 days.

9. A/C Refrigerant Smells and tastes like burnt

marshmallows, but looks

like a duck meat smoothie.

Transforms hands into bone

swords for 1d8 days.

10. Engine Degreaser Has the odor of pickled

beets, but is a glittery sky

blue and tastes like

chicken.

Grants the ability to control

gilled aquatic animals for

1d6 days.

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Treasure Table 1 (1d12)

1. Scroll of Protection from Demons,written on the centerfold of the

February 1976 issue of Playboymagazine.

2. An extraordinary musical recorder worth 238gp.

3. A yellow canvas pouch containing 30gp, 79sp, and 670cp.

4. A black cloth satchel containing 1,095gp, 785sp, and 54,800cp.

5. A small leather bag of 10 bronze coins with a symbol of a closed, bleeding

fist on them worth a total of 34gp.

6. A set of 2 candlesticks made of iron, each decorated with 5 gems (eyeagate) worth 30gp each.

7. A strange, small book titled Lost Adventures of the Wizard Wimbley

Snuffleportbound in brown dinosaur skin with gold colored symbols of a

unicorn on the front and a dragon on the back. Its worth 29gp.

8. A brown leather backpack containing 3,600cp.

9. A leather sack containing 129sp and 10,920cp.

10. A nice wine bottle of wine worth 145gp.

11. A brown cloth bag containing 3,300cp.

12. A black cloth backpack containing 729sp and 60,670cp.

Treasure Table 2 (1d12)

1. The Book of the Seeker in the Ground

2. Murdos Astounding Journal(the book is magical and blank when found,

where the owners spoken words will magically appear on the pages)

3. The Royal City of the Enchanter

4. The Chronicles of Turiel the Priestess

5. 1974 Comic Art Convention Program

6. Lexicon of The Bruised Fist

7. Marvel Two-in-One #5: The Thing and the Guardians of the Galaxy

8. Destruction of the Demonic Crown of Gorianth

9. The Book of the Phenomenal Stone Giant10. December 1975 Eeriemagazine

11. The Chaotic House of the Knight

12. Sword of Sorcery #3: JulyAugust 1973

24

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Treasure Table 3 (1d20)

1. A white cloth knapsack containing 199sp and 670cp; a splendid brown-

colored, glass bottle of elf blood worth 3,995gp to an herbalist; and a

small brown cloth backpack of magnificent coins from a missing land

that are made of jade with a symbol of a hawk on it (25 ea) worth a total

of 10gp.

2. A magnificent, small diary titled The Dagger and the Dimensional Traveler

bound in blue crocodile skin worth13gp; an orange cloth knapsack

containing 2gp, 74sp, and 660cp; and 1 moonstone worth 29gp.

3. A red canvas satchel containing 6sp and 4,456cp; and a mithril beer steinwith 4 gems (chrysoprase) set around the bottom and an etching of a

chimera on the side worth 77gp.

4. A leather sack containing 49,201 wheat pennies.

5. 1 citrine worth 40gp and a Scroll of Speak with Animalswritten on the

inside front cover of the January 1976 issue of Creepymagazine.

6. Set of 5 iron bars worth 34gp and a brown canvas sack containing 167gp,

39sp and 1,870cp.

7. A brown leather sack containing: 9gp, 124sp, 3,055cp.

8. Scroll of Essisis Spell of Chilling Emotion, written on the back of a page

torn from a Marvel Conan comic, worth 72gp to a wizard.

9. A orange cloth satchel containing 94gp, 95sp, 3,281cp.

10. A white leather purse containing 103gp, 153sp and 32,390cp.

11. An exquisite ornamental crown made of iron, decorated with 6 freshwater

pearls. Engraved on the inside is the message To Inineuan, from

Wimbley, with all my heart. Its worth 140gp.

12. A scroll with information on a spell called lyetonus Spell of Colorful Armor

enscribed on the centerfold of the July 1974 issue of Penthousemagazine

worth 72gp to a mage.

13. An unusual decorative shield made of several layers of flattened Pabst

Blue Ribbons cans. It is decorated with 10 blackened lug nuts and isworth about $10.

14. A tan leather rucksack containing a set of 2 bronze bars worth 90gp;

1,817gp, 801sp, and 27,280cp; and a scroll case made of platinum with

wood endcaps and decorated with 3 gems [rhodochrosite] worth 58gp.

25

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15. A splendid bass drum worth 908gp.

16. A unique test tube of perfume worth 3,300gp and a steam-powered

Mellotron worth 720gp.

17. An unusual bundle of robes exquisitely tailored of cloth worth 2,241gp, a

set of 5 candlesticks made of iron, each decorated with 2 gems

(freshwater pearl) worth 61gp each, and a leather rucksack containing:

496sp and 8,980cp.

18. A brown canvas knapsack containing a silver chalice worth 280gp.

19. A Potion of Invisibility.

20. A rare spherical, glass bottle of gargoyle horns worth 5gp to an alchemist

[wickedly cool picture of a group of goblins jamming on instruments

while a couple of dwarves fight an Eye Terror that has stunned an elf and

split a fighter in half]

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All original text in this work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License

The previous version of this document did not properly implement the Open Game License Version 1.0a. Because the license was not properly

implemented, the material was not properly declared Open Game Content. As the license was not properly implemented, the original materialcontained herein was not and is not useable as Open Game Content (I have kept the previous file available herefor comparative purposes, but this

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Therefore, I have elected to place all original text and content under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License (CC

BY-NC 4.0). You are free to copy and redistribute the text herein in any medium or format and allowed to remix, transform, and build upon material

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personal print-on-demand services such as Lulu.com and Lightning Source.

Ihumbly request that anyone using work from this document notify me of such via email. It'd be nice if you provide me a free PDF copy or a

reasonable discount on your project, too, but these conditions are not enforceable under the Creative Commons license. I merely think it is a

courteous consideration from one creative creator to another to do so.

COPYRIGHT NOTICES & CREDITS

Artwork as been appropriated without permission a nd no doubt infringes on artist copyrights; therefore the artwork herein does not fall under the terms of

the CC-BY-NC 4.0 License.

All original text Copyright 20142015 Matthew W. Schmeer

Design & Layout Copyright 2014, Rended Press & Matthew W. Schmeer

System Reference Document Copyright 2000-2003, Wizards of the Coast, Inc.; Authors Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, Skip Williams, Rich Baker, Andy

Collins, David Noonan, Rich Redman, Bruce R. Cordell, John D. Rateliff, Thomas Reid, James Wyatt, based on original material by E. Gary Gygax and Dave

Arneson.

Swords & Wizardry Core Rules Copyright 2008, Matthew J. Finch

Swords & Wizardry WhiteBox Rules by Marv Breig, Copyright 20082011 Matthew J. Finch

Labyrinth Lord Copyright 2007-2009, Daniel Proctor. Author Daniel Proctor

Eye of Terror from Labyrinth Lord Advanced Edition Companion Copyright 2009-2010, Dan iel Proctor. Author Daniel Proctor

This is afan work distributed free of charge. Please dont sue me.

This document utilizes free resources provided by the OSR gaming community. Most notable are Telecanters Public Domain Silhouettes and

Wizardawns excellent random generators. Treasure Tables, Wandering Encounters, and Room Contents created using Wizardawnsgenerators which are

in compliance with both the Open Game License Version 1.0a and the Swords & Wizardry Compatibility-Statement License. Wizardawn is notaffiliated with Matthew J. Finch, Mythmere Games, or Frog God Games.

Fluid containment table created using the Wampus Country Potions Abulafia Random Generator,which utilizes content created by +Erik Jensen.

This document uses Source Sans Pro, an open source OpenType font designed by Adobe, Inc., and is usedhere under the terms of the SIL Open Font

License.

Thanks for taking a look at this compilation. I hope you enjoy it; let me know what you think:mwschmeer AT gmail DOT com.

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