American Midnight

8/8/2019 American Midnight

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American Midnight /Barr & Lynch 1


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AMERICAN MIDNIGHT

by

Brandon Barr

and

Mike Lynch


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CHAPTER 1

Rain thrummed against the Cessnas windshield like thousands of little steel pellets. Both

engines worked to keep the plane at an altitude of four thousand feet, but they struggled. Helen

Peters stared at the thick canopy of trees extending to the horizon. In the midst of tangled

foliage, a clearing several hundred feet across drifted into view. A dozen huts were huddled

together in the middle of a grassy field. It had to be a Huaorani village.

She turned to Steve Myerson in the pilots seat. If the vaccine were carrying doesnt stop

the epidemic in time, those people down there wont stand a chance.

Ill see if I can coax a little more out of the engines, but they're already straining against a

sixty-knot headwind. This storm is getting worse by the minute. The plane suddenly jerked to

the right. Whoa! Steve exclaimed as he held firm onto the controls. That was a deep one.

Helen grabbed her seatbelt tight. A deep what? she asked above the whine of the engines.

Air pocket, he replied after checking the artificial horizon. I expect its going to be a

bumpy ride all the way to Xoacatil.

Helen's countenance dropped. Do you think were inany danger?

Steve didnt respond. He sat rigid in the pilot seat, staring out the window.


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Without any warning, high-pitched alarms exploded in the cabin.

Blast, Steve exhaled. He leaned forward and stared at the flashing red light in the middle

of the panel.

Whats wrong?

Oil pressure in number one is dropping.

Helen turned towards the left engine. Black liquid spurted out from under the cowling. One

of the lines must have broken. Oil is leaking onto the wing.

He snatched the microphone out of the holder and pulled it close. This is Cessna HBQ117.

We are presently traveling one-two-five miles-per-hour...heading 175 degrees, north by

northwest from Simon Bolivar Airport. We are experiencing engine trouble. Do you read?

Over. Static. Can anyone read me? This is Cessna HBQ117. Over.

The same static hiss filled the cabin.

A sudden gust slammed into the plane and it violently pitched downward. Steve pulled hard

on the controls, but they fought him. Come on, come on, he said over the roar of the engines.

He brought the nose up, but the tree line below was still coming up on them fast.

We need more altitude.

I'm trying!but these down drafts are really vicious.

Black smoke belched out of engine number one, and a terrible grinding noise shook the cabin.

All at once the prop froze. The plane shuddered then banked hard towards the ground.

Steve! Helen cried out.

Were losing power. He pressed the microphone button. Mayday, mayday. This is Cessna

HBQ117 going down approximately twenty-five miles from Simon Bolivar Airport. We are on a

heading of... His words trailed off.


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Oh God in heavenhelp us, she prayed.

The right wing of their plane sliced through the top of a tree, and then another, and another

Tania!

* * *

Mother! Tania shrieked. She bolted up from her bed, breathing hard. A cocoon of blackness

surrounded her.

Tania dug her fingers through her hair. Shed had that dream again. That dream...her mother.

Not a dreama nightmare.

Slivers of light streamed ghost-like through her bedrooms slatted windows. When her

breathing eased, she stared at the dimly lit walls. It was so vivid, that dream. Like a memory; it

even held her mothers scent, a smell she hadnt encountered in three years.

Tania missed her mother all over again.

Raw emotions stirred inside. Her anger; a sense of betrayal. God, where are you? Youve left

me.

Suddenly, the thought of being alone overwhelmed her. She reached for her cell phone and

pounded out a number. Nick, its me. I really need you right now.

So youve changed your mind about the party.

The party? I dont think now would be

Look, you said you wanted to go. So do you or dont you?

Okay, okay. Just get here, she said and closed her phone.

Tania threw off her covers and tiptoed over to the door. She turned the knob slowly, opening

it just a crack. The lights in the hallway were dark. She breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone was

asleep.


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After slipping back in her room, she took down a black dress hiding in the darkened recesses

of her closet. She had promised her father weeks ago she would get rid of it: Too revealing, he

declared. Tania thought he was overreacting. So what if it extolled her natural assets? She

quietly laughed. Nick had used that same phrase of her figure once. Shed blushed redder than an

apple thenbut that was in the first few weeks they were together. She was a different girl now.

After a couple of brushes of her hair and a dab of lipstick and mascara, she was ready.

She went to the window and checked outside. Nothing. Where was he, she wondered, and

began to ache with disappointment.Maybe he's not coming.

Two rounded, pinpoints of light appeared at the end of the street. Nick, finally, she said

aloud.

She placed her palms on the underside of the window, and pushed up, forming an opening just

big enough for her to slip through.

Straddling the window sill, she extended her foot into the darkness, stopping when it brushed

up against the lattice holding up her fathers trumpet vine. She negotiated one crossbeam at a

time, until the firmness of the ground met her toes.

The passenger door of Nicks red Camaro swung open as she reached the sidewalk. Even in

the darkness, Nicks eyes glimmered. His arm reached for her and she fell into his embrace,

kissing him long and hard.

What took you so long? she complainedafter pulling back. I was beginning to think you

weren't coming.

A long, idle grin blossomed on his face. Hey, I got here as fast as I could.

He started up the car and screeched down the street.


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Nick flew through a number of red lights as he made his way to the other side of town. The

entire drive he was quiet. Something else was on his mind. She didnt care though. As long as

she was away from her houseat least for a while.

They barreled down the road until Nick hung a sharp left at an intersection. A lone house

appeared out of the mist. Shadowed silhouettes of cars lined both sides of the long, narrow court,

and synthesized bass pumped out a steady boom, boom, boom into the night air.

He pulled into a spot just big enough for his Camaro. Looks like Lanes got a killer party

going tonight. A broad smile glided across his face, and he grabbed a case of beer from behind

the seat.

Tania found her head moving to the rhythm of the beat. She basked in the sensation, until an

unsettling question crept upon her. Why was she there, at the party? The girl she was four

months ago would never have sneaked out in the middle of the night. Back then she was still

going through the motions of her Christian life. Tania hesitated. But why should she live like that

when she no longer had faith to believe any of it? Besides, what would she be doing right now

without Nick? Sitting on her bed feeling miserable and alone.

She let the question slip away. Come on. Lets go inside.

Nick nodded.

Tania counted a dozen people hanging out in the front yard. Some of them were talking, while

others were holding each other close. It was hard to see who they were in the shadows, but she

was determined not to be outdone by them, and pulled on Nicks arm, bringing it around her so

his hand rested on her hip.

Inside, the living room was crammed with people, all bumping and pushing against each other

as they danced to the music.


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Dude! an unknown voice called from the crowd. You made it. Someone Tania had never

seen before wedged his way through the throngs.

Nick's eyes lit with recognition. Lane. You know I'd never miss one of your parties. Nick

grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back with ease. Tania was impressed. A big guy like

this didn't pull back easily. So where doyou want the beer?

Just leave the case with me.

You got it, but I think I'll take a couple here to get things started.

Nick popped a beer open for himself, then handed one to Tania. She flipped open the tab, took

a quick swig then grimaced. Something wrong? he asked.

No, she shouted over the noise. I still havent gotten used to the taste. She paused a

moment, and then added, But like you say, after the first one its all good.

He winked and pulled her into the middle of the room. She pressed close him and moved to

the fast-paced beat of the music. It all felt new to her still. The parties. The beer. Dancing in a

way that made him desire her.

It felt good to be wanted like that.

After her third beer, the people around her moved and dipped together like waves on the

ocean. She felt warm inside. And free.

A slow song brought the frenetic energy in the room to a halt. Seeing Nick standing there in

the opaque light, she threw her hands around his neck and pulled his lips into her own. His eyes

focused on hers and his hands touched softly around her waist.

Nick whispered in her ear. I think tonight should be the night. His voice sounded soothing,

almost hypnotic.


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Tania brushed back her bangs. I dont know. She looked around the room. Her words

slurred, All these people here. But that was only half the truth. Half-foggy notions from her old

way of life passed through her head. Phrases like, save yourself for marriage, and wait for your

husband.

But why? She loved Nick. Why should she hold anything back from him?

Nick did not relent, his hold on her remaining just as resolute.

She fell into his gaze, and felt her fears slipping away.

He bent towards her again. You said so after class today, he whispered in her ear. Its your

time now. Yourenot a little girl who does everything her father tells her anymore. If you didnt

want to do it, you wouldnt be here now. He paused. I promise, it will be a night youll never

forget.

Tanias eyes met his. The desire pulsing through him fed hers like fuel for a fire. She moved

her lips under his chin and brushed them along his husky neck. Everything he said, everything he

did felt right. All those little objections faded further into the recesses of her mind. Youre

right, she replied. Its my time now.

A huge smile parted Nicks lips and his blue eyes grew focused. Lane said he would keep his

parents room locked, so no one from the party would trash it. Ill go get the keys. He spun

around and made his way into the kitchen.

Though a hundred or so people slow danced around her, it was like she was the only one

there, her mind a torrent of anticipation mixed with fear.

And just like that, Nick returned, keys in hand.

Taking hold of Tanias slender fingers, he led her upstairs. Her heart began to thump more

loudly after each step. She didnt say a word, her thoughts a cacophony of conflicting emotions.


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But one thing she did know. She was about to give her all to himher mind, her body, her

souleverything. And once given, nothing would ever be the same.


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CHAPTER 2

A gust of wind blew through the congregation when a man wearing a Stetson hat and dusty

blue jeans stepped into the foyer. His cowboy boots clomped heavily against the century-old

floorboards of Calvary Community Church, set in the heart of Midian, Iowas historic downtown

area.

Tania Peters paid the distraction little attention. She had a bad hangover from partying with

Nick the night before, but more than that, she was still coming to terms with what had happened

last night.

Joanna Kreisman leaned over and whispered into Tanias ear, Hey, another cowboy at six

oclock.

Tania smirked at Joanna, grateful for the diversion. Her friends jet-black hair glistened in the

light beaming down from the stained glass windows. And look, added Tania quietly, Hes

even wearing flannel.

Joanna did her best hillbilly impression, drawing back her lips and crossing her eyes.

Tania let out a high-pitched laughlouder than she anticipatedand it made her wince in

pain. She barely noticed her fathers look of disapproval when he shot a glance at her from

behind the pulpit.


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Shhhhh, giggled Joanna softly. Youll get us into trouble.

Im still feeling ripped from last night, so stop making me laugh.

Joanna leaned close to her. Its your own fault for drinking, stupid.

Her friend's verbal jab hit a sensitive place. She didnt want a lecture. Not now.

That makes three parties in three weeks. How many beers did you have last night?

Tania shook her head. I dont remember. Too many apparently. She shut her eyes tight, her

head a firestorm of emotions. Nick promised her their first time together would be something

theyd remember for the rest of their lives. But in the span of a few short hours, what they shared

had already become hazy, like a dream fading away. The whole thing felt like a cheat.

Tania forced out a quick, frustrated breath. She was tempted to close her eyes and sneak in a

few winks of sleep, but Joanna never let her hear the end of it. Joanna the vigilante; that was her

friend, trying to keep her on the straight and narrow.

She sat back slowly and gave her forehead a gentle rub. Her discomfort eased, at least enough

for her fathers sermon to attract her attention again. It was almost over anyway.

Her dads eyebrows flared and a sincere smile spread across his face. His voice was warm but

powerful. Jesus answered his disciple, saying, I am the way, the truth, and the life, Daniel

Peters bellowed. No one comes to the Father except through Me. You see it here plainly

Jesus, the Son of God, is the only path to the Father. The Apostle Paul tells us in the second

chapter of Philippians that He voluntarily shed his glory and came down to his rebellious

creation, lived a sinless life, and died an agonizing death on a Roman cross so that our sins

would be forgiven. Ponder this, friends. Why did Christ cry out on the cross, My God, My God,

why have You forsaken Me?


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I will tell you why. For the first time in all eternity, the fellowship between the Father and

Son was brokenbecause oursins were literally on His shoulders. He did this for us, friends.

There is no greater act of love. He did what no other man could do...Jesus is the way to life. He is

the only way.

A sudden chill went down Tanias spine. She hadnt heard her father preach like that in years.

Something had happened. Then a distressing thought pierced through the haze. Did he know?

Envy sparkled in Joannas eyes. Girl, she whispered, your dad really gets into his

sermons.

Tania rubbed away the goosebumps on her arms. Yeah, he does. But they're not true, none

of them. I used to believe stuff like that once, when I was younger...before She clammed up.

Old emotions stirred inside her. Tania had promised herself more than once she was going to

stop talking about the loss of her mother. But here she was, doing it again.

Joanna leaned over. What do you mean its not true?

I mean all that stuff about God being good and caring. Just look at myperfectfamily.

Joanna seemed to study her a moment. Justbecause things have gotten tough doesnt mean

God isnt there for you. A playful lilt entered her voice. Look on the bright side, you still have

me for a best friend. Life cant be that bad.

Tania offered a half-hearted smile. Life certainly didn't feel that good, either.

* * *

Daniel Peters breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled his station wagon into the driveway.

Tanias car was in the garage. That meant she was home, safe. It had been a long time since the

two of them had sat down and talked, too long. He sighed, closed his eyes and turned the car


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engine off. In the silence, Daniel listened to his own breathing. He remembered the sickly smell

of alcohol that had hit him the moment he stepped into Tanias room to wake her for church.

Please God, not her.

Daniel tucked his head into his hands. How could he approach her about it? He felt so weak.

The confident man hed once been was gone; dead and buried with his wife.

He followed the stone walkway up to the front step. There was no putting this off any longer.

His hand gripped the front door. It took every ounce of strength he had just to open it. When it

slipped shut again, silence filled the entryway. He lingered by the stairs and stared at Tanias

bedroom door. Both shoulders dropped, like a great weight had been lowered onto them. He

willed his legs to move, but they wouldnt.

No, his fears whispered,youll only make things worse.

He shuffled down the hallway. Now was not the best time. He needed to think more about

what he would say to her; maybe offer a prayer or two. Yes, it was a good lie; one he could

embrace.

Daniel found the remote on the coffee table in the family room. The roar of cheering crowds

filled his impromptu sanctuary the second he turned on the TV. Football was just what he

needed. Daniel fell into his recliner.

Slam!

The bang of the front door startled Daniel, but he didnt get up. It was probably his son,

Jeremy. A familiar voice called out. Dad? You here?

Daniel immediately straightened. Greg, Im in the back.


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Greg sauntered into the room. He wore his customary checkered Converse All-Stars, a large

encircled A printed in the middle of his frayed black sweatshirt, and faded black jeans. His

chiseled jaw hinted at a five oclock shadow. There you are.

Daniel offered a quick smile when their eyes met, but he couldnt completely mask the

disappointment. One of the biggest struggles in Daniels life had been his sons faith in God, or

lack of it. Greg was a man ruled by doubt, and no amount of evidence seemed to satisfy. His

quasi-acceptance of Christianity stayed with him into his early twenties. But the day of his

mothers death all that changed.

Greg rested his hip against the wall and smirked. A little sports and the worries of the world

fade away. Greg didnt hidethe sarcasm. Ever. Whatd you preach on this week?

Daniel did his best to keep his voice warm and friendly. John fourteen, you knowthe

section where Jesus

I am the way, the truth, and the life, he interrupted. Better translated, I am a way, a little bit

of truth, and one of many choices for a dreary religious life.

Gregs poisoned words cut deep. Daniel turned away from his son and stared through the TV.

Sorry, Dad. Though his words were apologetic, his tone wasn't.

Daniel muted the TV. What do you want, Greg?

Just some of my old junk in the basement. Im ditching the apartment and my teaching job at

the junior college.

The news got his attention. Where are you going?

A house just outside Kansas City, in the suburbs. Bout as big as this one.

Daniel took it in with a slow nod.


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Kansas State hired me on as an adjunct philosophy professor. Ill be doing all the intro level

courses at first. Not too shabby for just turning twenty-five.

Daniel tried to look happy. I'm proud of you, Greg. You've earned it.

Thanks, I guess.

Greg put his hands behind his head and leaned his head back against the wall. Theres

something else. About your sermons...you need to be careful.

Just once, Daniel wished, he and Greg could have a conversation without it breaking down

into a combative exchange. What do you mean, careful?

Have you been keeping up on the news, or just watching sports?

Daniel met Gregs sarcasm with a smirk. Im not sure what youre getting at.

His son hesitated, as though weighing out his next words carefully. Then a strange expression

suddenly crossed his face and he pointed at the TV. Thats what Im talking about.

Daniel lifted the remote and turned up the volume.

For the past three years, President Allen has kept every one of his campaign promises,

intoned a fiery voice as images of the President meeting with people flashed across the screen.

Lower taxes, cleaner air, violent crime cut in half, and a stronger national defense. But the work

he started is just beginning. Daniels attention drifted up towards his son. Greg didnt move; his

attention fixated on the images flickering on the screen. Then a different voice came onto the

TV, one that parlayed a strong sense of self. The Unity Party I began eight years ago has

brought America back from the brink of ruin. We have come far during my first term as

President, but we still have a long way to go, and I need your help to do it. On Election Day,

remember to vote Allen...vote Unity.


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Thats what Im talking about, Greg said. The Unity Party is making changes for us all.

Good changes. You know how involved Ive been with the party the last few years. Im on the

inside now, and I can tell you, big things are coming.

What does that have to do with my sermons?

A dark cloud settled over Greg. Your sermons are polarizingand you know it.

I preach what the Word of God says. Truth is truth.

Others might believe that, but I don't. People like you are divisive, Dad. The President wants

every citizen to set aside their differences with other citizens and focus on what they have in

common. Thatis what Allen stands for. Half the Democrats and Republicans have already

jumped over to their side and if you dont get on board, Dad, you might find yourself on the

outside.

For the sake of his son Daniel fought to keep his cool. The Unity Party comes out of

nowhere only a few years ago, and now...its as though we cant live without Allen and his

followers. Mark my words, Greg. When any one side has too much power, things can take a turn

pretty quick.

The muscles on Gregs face drew taut. I hope things turn, and keep turning. If Allen wins a

second term, just imagine how far he can push his agenda across the country.

The last part of his sons rant almost had a threatening air to it. Sounds like youve given this

matter a great deal of thought.

Changes are coming, Dad. For the sake of our future, we need to embrace new ideas, new

ways of thinking. Not what you pre

Preach, his father interrupted.


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Greg took a threatening step forward. What has God ever done for us? He pointed at his

fathers Bible on the coffee table. Brought us nothing but false hope and pain.

Daniel threw his hands up in frustration. I cant turn my back on His Word.He is the one

who is Lord, not some politician who claims to have all the answers.

How do we know any of it is true? The Quran, the Torah, the Vedas, plus a dozen other

holy booksthey all claim to be inspired by God, sent down from on high. He let out a snort.

Yeah...God is real clear.

Daniel ground his teeth together. His son's hatred of Christianity he had accepted, albeit

forcefully, but his flippant, unprovoked attacks were shots at him, and Greg was aiming at old

wounds. Get your stuff and get out! You've hurt this family for the last time.

Greg's smile turned bitter. That's my pop. I knew you had it in you. He spun around and

stormed out of the room. Go, get yourself arrested. Lose your churchsee what I care.

* * *

Tania sat on her papasan chair, legs folded, a computer in her lap. One of her mothers Celtic

mood CDs played through the speakers. It was funny, she thought, but she didnt feel like her

normal rock music self.

What had she done? She and Nick had been dating for only a few monthsand she had slept

with him.

The phrase made her cringe. But so did the saying, lost her virginity. It made her feelguilty.

But why should she have to wait for marriage? That was for Christian girlsa title she no

longer cared about. So what was it about her virginity? Why was there something inside her that

wished she had it back?


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Honey, I want youto know I pray for you all the time. God has big plans for you. He gazed

at her with warm eyes. Tania, He holds your life so precious.

It had been a long time since her father had spoken to her like this. Not since Ecuador, before

her mothers accident.

Im just glad you and I still have our faith. He looked up, as if he needed a small measure of

reassurance. Were both doing okay, arent we?

Tania thought of several ways she could answer the question. On the one hand, she was still

his little girl. On the other hand, she wasnt. Deep down, she knew she still wanted her fathers

protection, his approval. But would he approve of Nick? Would her father understand? Tania

looked deeply into his eyes, but all she could see were deep wells of pain. Probably not...at least

not yet.

Of course we are.

He caressed her cheek with his hand then turned to leave. Apparently, those four words were

all he had needed to hear, that everything was okay between them, and rightly or wrongly she

had convinced him that it was.

Her father offered her a soft smile before closing the door behind him.

She stared at it for a long time before flipping open her laptop and logging back onto

MySpace. Her previous entry lay in the talk box, ready to go out. No, she couldn't, not after what

her father had just said. Tania typed out a new entry and hit send before she had a change of

heart


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CHAPTER 3

Tania climbed out her bedroom window and made her way down the trellis. A stilted silence

hung over the empty street until Nicks Camaro rumbled around the corner.

She slipped inside and quietly shut the door.

Two blocks from her house, he punched the gas and peeled out onto McNally Drive, leaving

the still, quiet neighborhood with a good-bye squeal of rubber.

Are you crazy?! Tania shouted, checking the road behind her. You probably woke up the

entire neighborhood. If my dad finds out Ive left

Relax, babe. He gritted his teeth, and then took a hard right onto the interstate. Ive never

seen you so uptight. Were already long gone.

The cars engine roared out into the darkness. Nick gave Tania a quick sideways glance. That

same idle grin gleamed a second time. So, your dad still doesnt know, does he?

Are you kidding? Hed never approve me dating a non-Christian.


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Nick visibly tensed. What a bunch of garbage. I cant imagine living under all thatall those

stupid rules. Tania didnt respond. She didnt know quite how to.

When they reached the other side of town, Nick pulled into Memorial Park and found a dark

parking stall under a burned out streetlight. A heavy mist hung over the grassy field in the

distance.

That God thing is just a guilt trip to hold over anyone who wants to have any kind of fun.

Its not like that. She shifted her eyes to the floorboards. My dad doesnt just make up this

stuff about God to get us do what he wantshe believes it. And I used to believe it too. When

you believe, its not a guilt trip, its just doing what is right. Its like theres this line, on one side

is everything right, and on the other, its sin.

Well at least you realized its all BS.

Tania looked out at the fog hovering over the park. I wish it wasnt. I wish there was a God

who cared about me. Someone so powerful, all I had to do was trust him because hed know

what was good for me and what wasnt. But if that God were real, my family wouldnt be

broken...my mom would still be here. Its been Tania stopped herself. She was doing it

againdredging up the past.

Hey babe, forget about all that now. He leaned over and ran his hand over her leg, Come

on, lets have some fun in the back seat.

Tania flinched. Nick, not now.Thats not why were here. We need to talk.

Nick drew back and stared at her with hardening eyes. She had never seen him look at her that

way before.

His features softened, and he leaned over again and twisted her hair playfully with his index

finger. Come on, I need you. We can talk afterward.


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For a moment, she was at a loss for words. Nick, no. Im going through something right

now. Its hard to explain. Her head dipped. That night at the party, what we didits got me

thinking.

He put his hands on the steering wheel and stared forward. You feel Saturday night was a

mistake?

There was pain in his voice. She placed her hand on his. To her relief, he didnt pull away.

I feel like weve been moving too fast. Its only been four months, and She stopped and

ran her fingers over his hand. Everythings been so physical. Its like weve gone further and

furtheruntil last Saturday. Now Im not sure what we did was a good idea.

Nick let out a short breath and pulled his hand away. The physical distance felt a lot more

than the twelve inches between them. I just dont get you. You agree to take our relationship to

the next level, and now youre backing off.

Im not saying that at all. Why does the next level have to be sex? Why cant it be

something deeper? Weve never talked about our futures. You dont know my dreams, what I

want after high school. And I dont know what you want either. Theres a lot we dont know

about each other.

He sat stone-faced.

All Im asking is that we slow things down a bit.

Its your dad, isnt it? Hes putting these crazy ideas in your head. He squinted, staring out

at the darkened park. I think maybe I made a mistake getting involved with a preachers

daughtertoo many hang-ups.


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The disappointment tinting his words pained her. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt

him. But on the other hand, she also couldnt deny her feelings. Im just not comfortable where

were at right now. Ive got to sort it out for myself.

Theres nothing to sort. You care about me and I care about you. Whos to say what we did

was right or wrong?

Thats easy for you to say. You werent raised in my house, where your father is the pastor

of a church.

Man, he scoffed. There you go, bringing your fathers religion into everything. I tell you,

its narrow-minded people like your dad who cause more problems than they solve.

Tania may have drifted away from the certainties of her fathers beliefs, but he was still her

father, worthy of respect. Please, dont talk about my dad like that.

Nick stared at her a long time, and she glared right back. He had made it a regular practice of

trashing her fathers beliefs whenever they clashed with his. It always bothered her and she

wasnt going to back down, not this time.

Fine, he snorted. Feel that way. Im done for tonight.

He threw the car in reverse.

Nick, please

I dont want to hear it, Tania. Youve said enough already.

* * *

Jeremy Peters drove down Meridian Avenue at a crawl, ignoring honking drivers that roared

past him. He hated the attention he had drawn, but he couldnt risk missing Silas.

Jeremy didnt know the mans last name. No one in their cell knew last names. It was

supposed to be that way.


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He spotted a hand waving by the bus stop. Silas. His black shoulder-length hair and 6 4

stature stood out in a crowd. Jeremy spun the steering wheel and stopped curbside at the bus

stop.

Finally, Silas slammed the door shut. Ive been standing there for twenty minutes. What

took you so long?

Jeremy hit the gas. Sorry. The teacher went long in physics. And I hit just about every light

on the way over here. He paused for a second, glaring ahead. That bus stop wasnt exactly a

bright idea. Too many people. You never know what information might slip out in casual

conversation.

Silas head fell back as he groaned. Not this again. He gave Jeremy a piercing stare. Man,

its like I said a dozen times before. The best way to blend in is to be in a crowd.

I still think some out of the way place would be better.

You worry too much. Well give the Devil his due soon enough.

You mean tonights meeting? Jeremy felt his chest tighten. Everythings set?

Silas nodded. Eight oclock at the old Miller Barn. You should be happy with the choice. No

one around for miles.

Jeremys concerns eased. Good. Ill be there. My dad has his weekly meeting with the

church elders tonight. I shouldnt be missed.

Perfect, said Silas.

Ill be glad when... Jeremys words trailed off when something in the distance caught his

eye. Silas, do you see what I see? Over there on the right.

Silas scanned the area outside the car just as the light ahead of them turned red. What? You

mean that rundown strip mall?


26/33


Yeah, next to the old Dollar Store. A lump formed in Jeremys throat as his eyes fell on a

dilapidated two-story building. I cant believe it, he said coldly. Here, in our own town?

A fresh coat of paint on a piece of plywood read in big, black letters: Unity Party

Headquarters. Five men fitted in Party uniforms unloaded boxes from a moving van parked by

the side entrance. On the second floor, a couple of workers stood on a scaffold, hoisting up cans

of paint and brushes.

What do you think about that? Jeremy asked in a whisper.

Silas pulled out a notepad from his pocket and jotted something down. I think tonights cell

meeting just got a lot more complicated.


27/33


CHAPTER 4

A stillness hung in the air outside Midian as the heat of the day ebbed from a high of ninety-

seven. A billowy line of clouds hung in the west, hugging low-lying hills ten miles away. The

sun slipped past the distant horizon, casting the entire landscape in a fiery glaze.

Tania and Joanna followed a worn path through a cornfield planted by Joannas mother.

Stalks eight feet tall and higher rose up above their heads like sacred Mayan statues. Tania let her

hand brush each stalk as she passed them.

A half-mile later, the path spilled into a clearing. There, the East River wound past a low rise.

Fall leaves clung to the mirrored surface, drifting by like little red stars. Several cottonwoods

hung over the riverbank. Tania and Joanna sat in the knee-high grass beneath Crooked Chief, a

tree they had named when they were both five, whose top half, bent and gnarled, leaned out

almost parallel to the meandering river.


28/33


I already know what youre going to tell me, Joanna revealed, peering down the

embankment where small ripples of water lapped over an exposed root. Why else did you ask

me to come out all this way? Tania sat Indian-style and leaned forward, elbows on her knees,

head propped on her palms. Ive seen it in you all week. You cant keep secrets from me, you

know.

Tania stared at her friend in amazement. When did you first suspect?

Joanna gave her a tender, but reproachful look. Sunday...at church. So, when did it happen?

For some reason, the question struck Tania as being in bad taste. Saturday night, at the party.

Its still kind of fuzzy. I think I enjoyed it. The words felt uncomfortable coming out of her

mouth.

Hmmm, Joanna nodded as her gaze fell to the grass beneath Tania. But now youre having

second thoughts.

A ripple of anger passed through Tania.Am I that transparent?Joanna, if you could put the

shovel away for once and let something be.

Im tryingto help you, said Joanna with a touch of fire.

Tania looked away. Sometimes I wish youd just listen and shut up.

Hurt exploded on Joannas face. Donttell me to shut up, she said sharply.

Both girls stared forward. A minute crept by and the words slowly drifted away in the breeze.

Tania let out a frustrated sigh. Im sorry. I take it back. Im just real emotional right now.

She hated it when she let her feelings get the better of her. But you were right, I am having

second thoughts.

Joanna shook her head. I should have said something to you before last Saturday. Something

inside told me this might happen, but I kept my mouth shut. Im sorry.


29/33


You had nothing to do with it. Dont apologize.

Joanna squished her mouth to one side. I saw where you and Nick were headed, she

repeated, and I didnt do anything to stop it. I just let it happen.

Tania reached over and hugged Joanna tight. Ill forgive you if you forgive me.

Okay, she smiled. I dont think I can ask for a better deal than that.

Tania let go ofher friend and dropped her chin into both palms. She sighed this time. I dont

know what Im doing anymore. I remember what I used to dream about when I was a little girl.

You know, a white picket fence, a couple of kids playing in the yard, me sitting with my husband

on the porch swing. Tania reached down and picked a dandelion out of the tall grass. The head

was filled with ripened seeds, ready to detach and fly away. She brought the puffy weed up close

and stared at it. I think those things can still happenand nothing can take them away, not

Nick, not my mothers death, nothing. And I can go to medical school, and become a nurse like

my mother. She smiled at Joanna. And I still want you to be my next-door neighbor so our kids

can grow up together and marry each other. I dont want to give up those silly little dreams.

If thats what you want, its nobodys place to say otherwise.

I had this picture in my head of Nick proposing to me after high school. I still do. She

paused and lingered on her last thought. Now Im not so sure anymore. I saw all these things,

all my dreams, and the stupid thing about it is I havent told them to Nick. I had sex with him,

and now that weve come this far, Im afraid to tell him. Im afraid if I even mention the word

marriage, hell wave goodbye and be on to the next girl. Maybe thats why I did what I did. As

if giving in to him would make my dreams happen. Boy was that stupid.

Im sure the beer didnt help.

Tania scowled at Joannas dig. Yeah...youre right.


30/33


Placing her index finger to her chin, Joanna said playfully, I think, when I graduate, Im

going to go to college and become a psychologist.

A picture of her friend in a doctors office flashed in Tanias mind. And Ill be your number

one patient.

Joanna giggled and gave a quick nod.

I should tell Nick about my ideas for the future. If our relationship means anything, I at least

owe him the truth. And if he doesnt feel the same way, its over.

Thats my girl, Joanna shouted. GRRRR. Nick, shape up or face the teeth of the tigress.

Tania rolled over backwards with laughter.

Joannas lips thinned into a playful smirk as the sun lit her face. When the two of them fell

silent, she said, God is like the sunset. He shows us enough beauty and majesty in those few

brief moments to keep hope alive through the long darkness of night.

Tania shut her eyes and tried to believe in those words. She wanted so badly to feel the way

she did before the plane crash. Back then God had been a loving Father, and life was full of

hope. Then she remembered her nightmare from Saturday night. I...I had a dream about my

mom. Even though I havent had one about her for more than a year...this one felt differentlike

I was really there.

You still cant recall anything about that day?

No. Nothing. All I remember is the school bell ringing and heading to class. After that its a

big black hole, until I woke up at the hospital.

Joanna shook her head. Thats so freaky.


31/33


It felt like I watched the whole thing happen from someplace else, like I was floating above

my mom. It seemed so real. I think I actually heard my mothers voice out of my broken

memory.

Tania grew quiet, lost in her thoughts.

Joanna turned and stared as the water drifted by, dream-like. After a while, she rose to her

feet. The sun had slipped behind a growing number of shadowed clouds, and a sudden chill

stirred in the air. It was time to go.

* * *

Tania arrived home later than she anticipated. She found her dad asleep on the couch in front

of the TV. Rather than wake him, she turned up the stairs and noticed the light on in Jeremys

room. She knocked, then poked her head through the slight opening. Her brother was on the

floor, back to the door, leaning against his futon. The faint roar of a screeching guitar blasted out

of the headphones covering his ears.

She called to him: Jeremy.

He didnt respond.

Tania went in, intending to tap him on the shoulder. Her shadow fell across the pages of a

sketchbook he was jotting on.

Jeremy bolted to his feet and tore the earphones from his head. How long have you been

standing there?!

Tania reared back. Only a second. I came in to see what you were doing.

Did you see?

See? No. Nothing.


32/33


The edge dropped from Jeremys features. He tossed the closed sketchbook onto his desk.

Its something personal, thats all. Private. Anyways, whereve you been all night?

I was at Joannas.

Good to hear. I thought you might be out with that football lowlife, Nick.

Tanias eyes went wide.

Thought I didnt know, huh? A hundred people went to that party. They all saw you go

upstairs with him. You think juicy gossip like that isnt going to find its way around? From what

I gather, you arent the little angel we think you are.

Words failed her. If her father found out shed had a boyfriend under his nose for months

that theyd slept togetherhed be crushed. He was already so weakened by Gregs rebellion.

She couldnt stand to be the next smashing blow. Jeremy, please dont tell dad.

Tell dad? It would tear him up inside. I wont tell Dad. But thereis something you need to

hear. Youre on the same road as Greg. From what I read on the Internet, theyre all saying you

had a tumble in the sack with that jock. If thats true, then youre no better than a harlot in my

eyes, and in the eyes of God. His gaze bore into her. So...is it true?

Jeremys words slit her heart open and Tania felt her body begin to shake. He had never

spoken to her this way before; how he described what she did made her feel cheap, dirty. Tania

dropped her head and stared at Jeremys shoes, fresh tears clinging to her cheeks.

Sis, Im sorry. I he clenched his teeth and turned his head. Its just that I thought you

were solid, and then I find out about this.

How can you say such terrible things? she asked.


33/33


Were in a battle, Tania, and I dont want to see you on the other side of the field. The world

is going to Hell, and the Devil wants to take every half-hearted Christian with him. We have to

fight because he'll take down a lot of people ifwe don't.

Her head still churned from Jeremys initial response. She turned for the door, wiping her

eyes. Calling me dirty names and making me feel like crap doesnt show you care. Tania

suddenly stopped. Did you talk to Greg this way too? Thats why he never visits anymore, isnt

it?

Jeremys stare bore into her. He needed to hear the truth as much as you.

You made him feel worthless, Jeremy. Think about it. Tania went to her room and lay down

on her grandmas white quilt spread across her bed.

I know Jeremy cares about me. Hes hurt just like the rest of us, and hes trying to cope. But

why does he have to be so extreme? She stared up at the magazine cutouts that littered the ceiling

above, but the solace she sought from those colorful images didnt come. Maybe he feels Moms

death was some type of punishment from God. Like a wake up call. Jeremy used to be the rebel

of the family. He had smoked pot for a while, gotten in fights, and received all the detentions.

Tania suddenly felt shed found insight to Jeremys radical side.

Does he think Moms death was his fault?

Date post:	10-Apr-2018
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American Midnight

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