ANGER MANAGEMENT

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http://youtu.be/H30zO44tyvM

Why are we here?Understand the roots of anger

Receive support, ideas and feedback from each other

Learn skills to deal with/manage angerTherefore improving interpersonal relationships

Understanding AngerWhat anger is: a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility

A completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion

Potentially a dangerous emotion, which can tell us a lot about ourselves.

There are lots of words to describe anger.What are some of the words you use to express the range of your angry feelings?

Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way that is not easy. Aristotle (384-322 BC)

ABCs of AngerA : Antecedent or Anger TriggerWhat stimulated the anger responseB : BehaviorReaction provoked by angerC : ConsequenceWhat happened as a result of controlling or not controlling ones anger.

Triggers of Anger ExternalSpecific person (co-workers or supervisor)Event (traffic jam, canceled concert or flight, talking trash about your family, etc)

InternalWorrying about personal problemsMemories of traumatic events

Myths About AngerAnger is InheritedAnger automatically leads to aggressionPeople must be aggressive to get what they wantSupressing anger is always desirable

Physiological and Biological ChangesFight or flight reaction (a natural, adaptive response to threat):Increase in blood pressure and heart rateIncrease in energy hormones

Identifying Anger CuesHow anger feels:

Muscles tensionAccelerated heartbeatKnot in the stomach or throatChanges in breathing Trembling or shakingGoose bumpsFlushed faceChanges in facial expression (eye brows, frowning, nostrils, etc)

What anger Looks likeYellingSulkingPoutingHittingOther ViolenceCompetitive GamesAccusationsArguing

Anger is naturalAnger occurs naturally and cannot be avoided. Find control techniques rather than anger elimination.

Anger Becomes a Problem When:Felt too intenselyFelt too frequentlyExpressed inappropriatelyWords, gestures, contact.Results in negative consequencesAssault, arrest, losing loved ones, termination from work/treatment.Results in negative self conceptGuilt, shame, regret.

Differences between Anger & AggressionAnger = FeelingAggression = ActionAnger is an emotion. It is ok to be angry.Aggression is acting out inappropriately and is not ok. Learn to check your aggression and express your anger appropriately.

What is anger ManagementA systematic method of cognitively recognizing anger and managing its effectsAnger management does not involve getting rid of all anger, but using anger to enhance your life.We can look at the purposes of anger in both positive and negative light.

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Aspects of AngerThe positive aspects of anger are that you have increased energy, are able to communicate your feelings, able to problem solve and can take charge of the situation. The negative aspects of anger are that you can have disruption of your thinking, unnecessarily defend yourself, become aggressive and become known as an angry person.

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Steps to Anger ManagementIdentify personal signals of angerAnger thermometer

Techniques to AvoidRaising your voiceYellingSaying Im the bossInsisting on have the last wordUsing tense body languageMaking comparisons

Using degrading, insulting, humiliating put downsUsing SarcasmBringing up unrelated eventsHolding a grudgeNagging

ANGER MANAGEMENTHOW DO I DO IT?

Develop skills

Identify a range of feelings including angerIdentify aggressive acts by self and othersIdentify the potential consequences to self and others from these aggressive actsIdentify self-destructive behaviorIdentify thoughts prior to aggressive actsIdentify internal cues to feelings of angerDevelop coping mechanisms for dealing with angerCommunicationActive ListeningStress reduction

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Skill: Identify feelingsIdentify a range of feelings including anger:EmbarrassmentExcitementDisappointmentJealousyFearHelplessSadnessLeft-out

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Be in charge of your feelingsI own my feelings.It is okay to feel angry.Anger is part of being human.I learn how to express my anger in helpful ways.

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The skill to identify acts of aggressionWhat are some examples of aggression

Throw somethingKick someone or somethingGet in someones faceShoving, grabbing, hittingBreak somethingCall someone namesGive someone a dirty lookSilent treatmentGet others to gang upSpread rumors

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I choose to feel good about myself through expressing my feelingsI express angry feelings in ways that are fair to others and me.I use fair wordse.g I feel when you.I control how I let my anger out.I practice cooling off.I watch my thoughts.

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Skill: to identify consequences What are some potential consequences?

Physical harm to someone or selfDestruction of propertyLoss of family/friendsLoss of jobLoss of social privilegesGoing to jailGetting a bad reputation

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Skill: identifying self destructive behaviorWhat are some of the destructive behaviors involved?

Negative self-talkBlaming everyone elseTaking everything personallyAssumingOvereating, drinkingDriving recklesslyTaking drugsLooking for fightsFeeling outraged

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Skill: Identify Thoughts prior to aggressive ActWhat are some thought a person might have prior to an aggressive act:

You did that on purposeYou wanted to hurt meYou deserve thisYou never even asked meYoure being unreasonableYou think youre so goodIll show youYou started itTheres no justice

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Skill: Identify internal cues of feeling angerWhat are some physical responses to feeling anger:

Stomach gets tight/upsetHeart is beating fasterClenching fistsFeel myself getting flushedPressure on my templesSweaty palmsClenched jaw

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Skill: Coping mechanismsI find ways to let it goI talk about hurt and angry feelings.I look for someone to discuss my anger.I discuss my words and actions that hurt others.

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Skill Coping mechanisms cont Know what pushes your buttons.Know your bodys anger signs.Stop and think!Cage your rageits your choice.Decide what to do.

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Skill: CommunicationCommunication Defined- The act of expressing oneself in such a way that one is readily & clearly understood.

Play the telephone game:

Skill: Active ListeningRole Plays Practice: Using I statements: I feel ______ when you _______ because __________. I want ________________.Example: I feel frustrated when you yell because I think you dont care about my feelings. I want to find a better way to resolve things between us.Checking in to rephrase/paraphraseAvoid Communication blockers such as: name-calling, criticizing, interrupting, sarcasm, blaming, yelling.

Skill: Stress ReductionRelaxation techniquesDiaphragmatic breathingProgressive relaxationCount to tenNon competitive exerciseDistractionHumorEmpathy for the other person

Ideas to Make You DisturbedI must be loved by practically every significant person in my life-and if Im not, its awful!I must not make errors or do poorly, and if I do, its terrible.People and events should always be the way I want them to be.

Ideas to Help You Function EffectivelyIts definitely nice to have peoples love and approval but even without it, I can still accept and enjoy myself. Doing things well is satisfying but its human to make mistakes.People are going to act the way THEY want not the way I want.

Ways to Keep Cool:Get exercise every day.Eat right.Get enough sleep.Learn to relax.Know your feelings.Write about those feelings.Find a quiet place.Take a time out.Find fun distractions.Make good decisions about what you see and hear.Choose friends who make you feel good.Learn to forgive and forget.

Some Other Tips Dont take yourself to seriously. Not every disappointment is a tragedy.Change your environment.Timing is important.Avoid anger triggers.Find alternatives to anger-provoking events

ANGER MANAGEMENT- SUMMARYCalm downShow mutual respectName the problemFind solutionsChoose the best solutionCongratulate yourselfReview the solution that was picked

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