Neurotics

anonymous Help for the worried and lonely sounds an impossibly large-scale task but in a room in London's busy West End a start has been made. Marie Spinks describes the work of the group and the way in which it helped her.

Neurotics Anonymous is an organization which has been called a social approach to a social question. A lively, mixed group, it meets in London three times a week. Its first aim is to combat the social problem of loneliness?the kind that leads to mental illness. The second is to help people, with personal difficulties, many of whom are emotionally disturbed. The group is non-medical, and does not claim to cure anyone of anything. There are doctor members but they attend in a lay capacity. Those who join represent a wide selection of the

population. A striking feature about many members is their high intelligence. Educated Asians or con-

tinentals have found their intelligence has often set them apart in England. They have been obliged to take work below their professional training. They find acceptance slow where they live and at work. Other members are divorced, widowed or single and living alone. And there are young people, some from broken homes, who have never learned to make

loving, stable relationships. The growth of Neurotics Anonymous came as a

result of a personal tragedy. About four years ago the founder and chairman, Mr. Jack Yates, lost his sight after an accident. From living an active life and

travelling the world he found himself dependent on others, isolated in a waste-land, eternally dark and frightening. Instead of accepting life as a cabbage, he fought back and started to think of other isolated people, chiefly those cut off from a full life by an inability to communicate. He planned a group where people could befriend each other and be given con- structive help with troubles of all kinds but mainly nervous problems. He approached a friend, Mr Phillip Fox, who became co-founder, together with a psycho- logist, a scientist and a Christian philosopher. A room was hired, Neurotics Anonymous advertised for mem- bers, and the first tentative meetings were held. Not officially sick Group therapy is not a new idea. Hospitals have had such groups for years. But in these groups each person is already ill enough to have been sent there by a doctor. Mr. Yates' group is for those not officially 24

sick. Members join after seeing advertisements in the press, or are introduced by another member. The work of the group is becoming better known, and has featured on radio and television. Doctors, social workers and hospital welfare departments are also

referring patients whom they know will break down again if they 'go it alone'. As a registered charity, costs are kept to a minimum,

enough to clear such expenses as hiring rooms for meetings and publicity. Much of the clerical work is done voluntarily by members. The initial joining fee is ?2.2.0. Afterwards one pays a small sum, roughly about 2/6d at every attendance. This is put towards the high charge of renting premises in London for the evening.

I joined the group after a nervous breakdown, brought on by financial difficulties and chronic illness 1

in my family. Alone all day in a strange district with a young child, I had the usual advice: 'You ought to go out more, meet people and make friends.' The

Jack Yates in the chair during a Neurotics Anonymous meeting. Photo: John Brooke Jack Yates in the chair during a Neurotics Anonymous meeting. Photo: John Brooke

Neurotics Anonymous

advisers, including my doctor, were vague as to how this could be done. Attending a church and joining a social club were suggested.

I knew, from past experience, that although one could make friends at these places it was a slow

process. I needed people at once; wanted to hear

myself called by my christian name again. I saw

Neurotics Anonymous advertised in my Sunday paper, and made a tentative application, wondering if it

Would be a kind of stamping ground for the un- pleasantly eccentric. I received a kindly, sane reply from Mr. Yates, giving me times and places of

meetings.

New and positive The first meeting I attended was in a room just off Oxford Street. The initial effort of going into a room full of strangers and making myself known to Mr. Yates was difficult, but it was the first new and posi- tive thing I had done for weeks. His quiet, warm wel- come was reassuring, and I was introduced to the

group by my christian name only. All are truly anony- mous, surnames are never used or divulged, except by members themselves, should they wish. The meetings follow a certain pattern. The first half

is a general debate. Subjects are suggested by mem- bers, and the most acceptable is judged by a show of hands. Everything is talked about, from violence on T.V. to Japanese art. Nothing is taboo, but members are asked to observe a reasonable decorum, remem- bering the group is non-sectarian and non-political. All beliefs are respected. The standard of debating is usually vigorous and good-humoured, even when somebody shows exasperation by saying 'So and so is talking tripe'. 'So and so' nearly always comes up with a pithy reply. Mr. Yates is a skilled chairman, making the frus-

trated and more inarticulate feel they belong. Natur- ally, subjects like worry and loneliness are often

discussed. When there is no debate a talk is given, either by a medically qualified speaker, or a member talking on a topic of general interest. After a refresh- ment break, the more serious part of the meeting starts. During the break, those with personal problems talk to Mr. Yates. Afterwards these problems are

discussed in open forum, anonymously, being referred to as 'a member's problem'. Often, people don't wish to remain anonymous, because it is much more bene-

ficial if they themselves can take part in the forum and answer questions.

Nagging doubt The problems are many. Sexual difficulties and ignor- ance are common. Despite modern frankness, a lot of People still brood under a load of guilt and doubt. One hears single women, happy in their careers and lives, but with a nagging doubt that they are abnormal because they have no wish to emulate the amorous behaviour of some of their colleagues. Others, especi- ally the younger men, regard themselves as sinners,

perhaps perverted and unfit for marriage. With sym- pathetic sharing of these burdens, many see that they are neither abnormal, nor great sinners. Sometimes they are made to laugh at themselves, but never are they laughed at by others. Work problems are frequent. There is the girl who

has been coerced into teaching because her parents are teachers. Hating it, she fears to say so at home because of the sacrifices made to give her a good education. We hear the son of ambitious parents who expect him to follow a profession when he is a prac- tical type who would be happier learning a trade. The atmosphere of this open forum is warm, under-

standing and encouraging. People who have kept things bottled up for years begin to talk freely. This alone relieves nervous tension. The most valuable help is given by people who have had similar troubles and talk about how they either solved the problem or learned to live with it. There is not always a solution, but at least the sufferer has had several ways sign- posted which he never knew existed. People who are highly nervous, and say they are depressed and lack energy, are advised to consult their own doctors.

Nurse's training One doesn't walk into a meeting as a nervous wreck and come out a radiant human being. The build-up is much slower. One has to attend meetings regularly, especially during times of personal crisis. This was shown in the case of Jane. Only daughter of a posses- sive mother, she caused resentment by changing her job and her address. 'I just had to get away. Mother was throttling me with kindness,' she told us. She had not felt fulfilled as a secretary and wanted to train for nursing. When she gave up her 'good safe job' for the hard work of hospital there was strong opposition. It was during the difficult adjustment period that Jane needed the support of the group. It was somewhere to go when she wanted to drop her professional calm and let her worries come flooding out. That was nearly a year ago and we don't see much of her now. She has passed her first exam and is engaged to a labora- tory technician. We often lose our successes, but others stay, and their work in the group is invaluable. I have benefited enormously from my membership,

making friends and sharing many interests. The group hope to have permanent premises soon. A place where one can go any time there is need, not only on specific evenings. We now have nearly 1,000 members and want to encourage more young people of the 'bedsitter tribe' to join. With this in view, many social activities are being planned. I am asked 'Wouldn't an ordinary social club meet the need?' Members of Neurotic

Anonymous think not. At the usual social club you're a bore, and rather odd if you mention emotional problems. But with our group you're thought a little odd if you don't have any! For those wanting further information, Mr. Yates'

address is, 24 Carlton Hill, St. John's Wood, N.W.8. Enclose s.a.e. please.

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