Anth 53 Danyo Reserve

8/14/2019 Anth 53 Danyo Reserve

1/21

Thursday 1/10/98. I was right, H was just working up to a (24/1/05 Neveryou mind what I was working up to its not for publication. helh&z) Yesterday evening Idrank beer by the beach just as you would in the tropics for the temperature never dropped below30C, I would guess. . (24/10/05. More of whats not your business. helh&z) we set offacross the beach for a wash in Spencer Gulf. Only problem was it was low tide and we ne-verreached the water so after 10 mins walking straight out to sea we turned back. When we reached theshore we couldnt find the car. We did finally and since it was Hs birthday we cracked the bottle ofdolceta sitting on the box out back of the car as the temperature was still 30C or so. We were both

starkers and I took a photo of the occasion. When we woke up later this morning I felt ratshit like arou. The birthday was completed with the card I gave her. Then on a stinken hot day and in a howl-ing gale we made our way half way along the Port Germein pier for a dip in the ocean by way of awash. So that was Hs 56th birthday celebration. I have written this entry in the Danyo Reserve wherewe are at the very fireplace we made a few years ago, just past Murrayville.

Sunday 23/5/99 Heading home. Rewrote one of the meditations in Morgan. Spent thenight in Danyo reserve.

Saturday 18/9/99 In Danyo Reserve for the night. H has a fire going. Hamburger in Ch-arlton. I think both of us would have spent a good bit of our thinking time wondering (27/1/05. still r)

about Dans debut in the model game and his prospects for the future (27/1/05. hez in NZ doin a kuplof showz. So poor he smokes rollies but hez wearin a $US700 jakt sent him New York). Just aswe were leaving Melbourne in the morning, still in Locksley rd, we made the ultimate bird find a rai-nbow lorrikeet. Unfortunately it had been run over and was messy so we could only get some of thebrilliant feathers (27/1/05. in rtrspkt th hobby seems gruesm) from it. Its only the 2 nd parrot we havefound, the other being the female Mulga parrot I got on the Lake Gairdner trip.

Friday 12/5/00(25/1/05. I ddnt put in jrnl ntriez on frdy 12th thrzdy 19th but th poemThe Room (2gthr wth 3 uthr poems : The House, The City, & Masks, woz put out ndr th konfuzintitl 14/8/41 (l8r I put out a set of trip notes wth th same titl.)) woz kmpletd @ th rzerv on my way 2meet sVaAuRlNiAuSs. Here it iz :

The Room

at the root of every secret is violencethe trunk is supported by fearthe branches are liesthe leaves are tears

*brave men dont have secrets

*the most dangerous secret is the one everyone knows

because by not disclosing it everyone becomes complicit*the silence of conspirators

a hidden depth in the glancea veiled thoughta wary stepa shrillness in the voice

*in time a secret shared by all becomes- a code, a belief, a legacy, a culture

1


2/21

*what in the beginning was worn as a cloak, after it is embroidered,

becomes a frock coat or a dinner jacket*

if everyone in a room shares a secret together they are conspirators*

everyone in a room can have the same secret wthout knowing that his neighbour also has it*

they may be too frightened to askthey may be too ashamed to ask

*you get better at keeping secrets with practice from yourself too

*secrets are known differently

*if everyone except one has the secret they all must keep silent in case one finds out andinforms on them even if they only imagine him for they may not know if he really exists, for ifhe does they haveno way of knowing that he does, nor does he have any way of knowing thatthey have a secret

*you can choke on a secret

a z art @O )

Wednesday 24/5/00Heading home; from one trusty camping spot (Port Germein, inwhich area Ive found a whole new set of great spots to stop) to Danyo roadside reserve where I amnow with two stubbies of Southwark Old Stout (7.4% alc/vol). Ive been driving through a lot of locusts,mor than ever before, and have to stop more frequently at petrol stations for a clean down. Am list-ening to Sauliuss tapes at last and they are up to the usual extremely high standard that Im used tofrom him. Have stopped listening to the drinking songs that Gyras gave me as Ive got them fully un-

der control. This trip has been heavily musical. Had a coffee and read the paper at Morgan where Italked to two guys (standing at the bowser, cleaning off locusts) who had left Perth on Monday andhad been driving continuously. One was unlicensed and the driver was stary eyed and evidently likedto drive barefooted. The water pump on the car wasnt working so they were having troubles withoverheating as the locusts were clogging up the radiator. I wont have to attend to mine till Im home.They were using a clothesline for an aerial. They are heading to Ballarat and I reckon it wont be longbefore they are there maybe already are. Am listening to Lauren Newton right now and about tostart reading Gargoyles by Thomas Bernhard. Its 3.55 pm.

Monday 7/8/00. (25/1/05. from trip notes titled 14/8/41) On the road . tonight Im parkedin the Danyo Reserve 5 ks east of Murrayville. This is very much one of my private spots when Im travelling

north west into the inland. Last time I was here I was returning from Lake Gairdner (24/5/00) and before that Iwas here on 12/5/00 on my way to meet Saulius in Burra. This is where I started a mail-art project on dog scoopcards of which I posted next morning in Murrayville. That project led to the 4 poems called The Room,The House, The City, Masks. Left Melbourne about 9.30 after shopping up in Coles where a turkish look-ing guy who was stacking the shelves talked me into buying a different kind of turkish bread to what I usuallyget. Ive just eaten a loaf and its much like the other. Bought a hamburger at Lous Cafe in Charlton for lunch.The lady making it asked me where I was going this time. I asked her how it was with her and she shrugged hershoulders in resignation. Her name is Maria. She makes a great hamburger for $3.80 (post GST and with thelot). Later I pulled off the road into a bushland reserve south of Sea Lake (where Tyrrel Creek crosses it) for a hour nap. The calm of the scrub was palpable, quite extraordinary really and I wondered if I shouldnt stop there

2


3/21

for the rest of the day. I suppose that scientists and druggies who only understand things that are measurable orinjectable may not believe me when I say that the scrub was exuding a calmness that you could feel. The troublewith the scientific mind set is that as you believe more and more only in the things you can measure or weighyou may be less and less inclined to notice the things that you cant. Then those things may disappear. On theway here I found two barn owls killed today. Im always finding dead barn owls since I first noticed one a coup-le of years ago. They get hit because they get blinded by car headlights. Things that belong to the night cannotalways survive the glare of bright lights. The barn owls have come to symbolise for me the fragile things of theheart, and of twilights, that cannot survive the scrutiny of reason. Ive brought plenty of A3 sheets to write on.

One side of the sheet is blank and the other side has a photo or arrangement of photos of mine. The idea is thatif you fold a sheet in half you have an A4 size piece and then when you fold again its A5, and finally A6 whichmakes a convenient size for an envelope if you staple the sides. That means you have one A4 piece and one A3to write on; and one A6 if you write on the back of the envelope. I thought I would use different colour inks foreach section and maybe a different idea for each. I suppose you could say it was a mail-art project meant to im-press Adriana Cozzolini should I do about 5 of them. But what can I write about when I hardly know anythingabout her. Ive also got Wittgensteins On Certainty; Joseph Roths Radetzky March; Thomas BernhardsOld Masters (supposed to be a comedy which is hard to imagine with Bernhard); the King James bible whichIm keeping on the front dashboard to deter thieves; and a book called Saint Companions for Each Day. Thislast cost me 50c when I bought it 30 years ago at a difficult time in my life. It cant have been a popular read ev-en then as I notice it was reduced from $1.05. I had thought I lost it but rediscovered it a couple of weeks ago

when clearing out some shelves. It was published in 1959 by St Paul Publications in Allahabad 2 Bombay. Itis printed at St Pauls Press Training School on paper of newsprint quality. The compilation, consisting of atleast one saint for each day and sometimes as many as three, is by A.J.M. Mausolff and M.K. Mausolff. There isan authors declaration which says : In conformity with the decrees of Pope Urban VIII and of the RomanPontiffs, the authors declare that any account of miracles, revelations or virtues, other than those already app-roved by the Holy See, rest upon human authority alone; nothing contained in this book should be consideredas in any way anticipating the judgment of the Church, but everything is submitted to the infallible judgment ofthe Holy See. Todays saint is Saint Cajetan (Confessor 1480-1547) who we are told was already known evenas a youth as the Saint. I have also brought my camera and a microphone and recorder(27/1/05. I think thpiece of muzik titld IMPOSSIBLE SPACES woz th rzult but mayb itz from nuthr trip). I was keeping allmy options open when I packed but last night it became apparent to me that I had only one aim for this trip and

that is to make one more attempt to collect my thoughts on the murder of the jews of lithuania with a view toputting the topic aside. I have already made major efforts to leave it behind before. Over easter a year and a halfago I made a number of entries in this journal (29/1/05. c 12/4/03 24/4/03 pp13, 14, 15) which were me-ant to achieve that. Thats what I thought and wrote at the time. But the topic keeps re-emerging in some newand more virulent form. The dead cry out to be remembered. I try to block my ears. Writing about it is part ofthat effort. It seems appropriate to do it on this trip as thats what the entries for august 14th and august 19th areabout. Ive cut out the relevant sections from my story 20/6/00 to paste in on those days. When I was at LakeGairdner in may 99 and did the photographic album Meditation on Lake Gairdner I again thought I had endedwith the subject. So now that Im going back to another part of the lake it seems right to make another effort.Finally, the discovery after I wrote the story 20/6/00 that the given name of the leader of the most murderousof the execution squads, Joachim, means in hebrew Yahweh prepares requires to be addressed. I made the

discovery from the Saint Companion for Each Day and its as if I found the book for that reason.Sunday 20/8/00. (25/1/05. from 14/8/41) Im back in the Danyo reserve. Doing

tight turns on a minor track through scrub I thought this is how a fox feels returning to his lair. I am happy withwhat I have written over the two weeks. I dont think Ive been imitating anyone and I dont think Ive been giv-ing expression to the expectations of others that I might have internalised (27/1/05. how knceitd iz th@!).Borges claims that all honest writing is autobiographical and he was speaking of fiction (27/1/05. itz why I kallIN TRANSIT faction) and writers like Dante. The idea is that we are specks in a whole and if we are true toourselves we say something of value. Georges Perec, who had wanted to be a writer since childhood, says thatin the final analyses writing for him is an exercise in being sincere. (I hope youre paying attention Jane). Ivebeen sincere. I say it as I drain my stubby of Coopers Stout which I bought in Pinaroo because I knew the pub at

3


4/21

Murrayville would almost certainly be shut as the publican visits his girlfriend on weekends and shes in Hor-sham. He drives due south through the Big Desert on a track thats fine in dry weather. I wonder if Bas Salt hasstarted reading Yawning Heights which he promised to read some of and give me an opinion as a penalty forhaving recommended Victor Pelevins Lives of Insects without having read it first himself. I bought that bookand read 60 pages of it. Ive got an aboriginal arrowhead for Tony Figallo that I picked up at Lake Gairdner. Ithink Ive satisfied the demand that various people make that I write up trips of mine. I hope Adriana finds it anadequate substitute for the Arte-Postale letters that I indicated I might send her but didnt. I hope this goes someway to answering Walter Struve when he says I should write an autobiography. Both the trip, Walter, and the

account were my inventions. I could have done the same trip but written it up differently (which reminds me,the pastry cook at Wirrabara says its the bacon and steak and the mushroom and steak pies that are her best sel-lers and I havent even tried those) or did the trip differently, or even gone on a different one or not at all andwritten the same account. History is like that. Its 3pm and Im going to crack a stubby of Southwark Old Stout.Its my third stubby and I feel a bit guilty. Then Im going to relax for a couple of hours with Thomas Bernha-rds Old Masters of which Ive read 40 pages so far and I can guarantee, Bas, that its a good read.

Monday 21/8/00. 8am. The ice over the car is a reminder that Im back in victoria, hope Ill beable to start it. I always park it so that as the sun rises through a gap in the native pine (callitris) it shines direc-tly onto where I sit on the bumper bar under the tailgate eating breakfast. Ive seen all the sunrises on the trip.Tonight Im back in Melbourne. Yesterday in Burra I paid 105c per litre for petrol a record. Tonight Ill havebroken another one Im quite proud of, I will have gone for an entire trip without a wash or a change of clothes.

I am wearing the same olive trousers, brown flanno shirt, black t-shirt with the map of australia on it, smellyblack underpants, brown leather shoes, and black and white striped socks I left in on monday two weeks ago.The socks are so greasy that they stick to the soles of my feet and after they air out overnight before I put themon their soles are stiff like paper. I scratch dandruff out of my eyebrows. Close inspection of my hands showsthat they are ingrained with various inland dusts ranging from red to greys and also black soot from the bowl Iheat water with over the metho burner. The dust is probably held in place by juice that dries on my hands fromthe three oranges I eat each day. I dont wish to brag or exaggerate the importance of the achievement. To put itin perspective I did brush my teeth twice, once before going into Mahanewo and before calling in at OakdenHill homestead and it is possible that last year, on a longer trip, I went without a wash or change of clothingeven longer but this is the first time I havent troubled the soap for an entire trip. I return now as I started in pris-tine condition. On the way, whether Im hungry or not , Ill stop for a hamburger at Lous Cafe (how many ha-

mburgers have you made over the last two weeks, Maria?) in Charlton. Im retracing my path, completing acircle, its a ritual. Time to send the last of the saints, St Jane De Chantal (Widow 1572-1641), marching home.When Jane, Baroness de Chantal, lost her husband in a hunting accident, she took the vow of chastity and im-plored God to reveal His will and provide her with a spiritual guide. Three years later she recognized in St Fran-cis de Sales the director who had been shown her in a vision. Six more years were devoted whole-heartedly tothe education of her four surviving children. Then the brother of St Francis de Sales married her eldest daughterand the Archbishop of Bourges (her own brother) provided for her 14-year-old son. With her two other daugh-ters St Jane now founded the Visitation nuns at her directors insistence, to give young women and widows anopportunity to follow religious life even though their health precluded the ascetic practices then prevalent in ot-her Orders. Reflection : Hell is filled with people who were talented; but heaven holds those who were energ-etic! (St Jane de Chantal) (27/1/05. sh sounds like Ron Barassi)

Well thats it. So there!

Saturday 7/4/01. (25/1/05. from 7/4/01 18/4/01) Said goodbye to Helen many times. Shewanted me to go as she knows I regain my balance on the road. Woke Dan up who is in Melbourne for a coupleof days for look-sees before returning to Sydney on monday. Tuesday & wednesday last week he was in Ho-ng Kong doing a store catalogue. [deleted] Bought the Age at Eaglemont Village from Kate (c/o) who is mind-ing children in one of her part time jobs & thinking of becoming a social worker. Bought turkish bread at Coles.Hit the road. First stop was at Charlton at Lous Caf where I read the paper. I ordered a mug of coffee & a ha-mburger with the lot & Maria said where are you going this time its our ritual. Im writing in Danyo reserve5ks short of Murrayville. Im probably heading for Lake Gairdner. Its 7.45pm. As I was entering the reserve

4


5/21

from the highway (Ouyen Adelaide) I passed a large campervan with an elderly couple sitting out front. Thatsa first, Ive always had the reserve to myself previously. Ive lost count of how many times Ive been here; it feelslike home. The books Ive brought besides the bible, saint book & bird book are the Penguin Dictionary of Phil-osophy, Foreign Bodies by Alphonso Lingis, & the vision machine by Paul Virilio. The last two are fromDanius (27/1/05. chanced x wth Jane & joind Frank, Andrea, & me 4 ourAUSTRALIA day celbr8nystrdy x th lm tree on th krnr of Miller & Curzon sts. (28/1/05. so I fed 5 with 0 loavz & 2 fshz (2/2/05.smokd trout))) who has a habit of lending me books in pristine condition which by the time Ive read them aremangled with page corners bent & spines split but on which I am able to give him one sentence opinions. The

Virilio is a discovery. Ive already read his pure war & the aesthetics of disappearance. I am inclined to agreewith him : we are changing ourselves into technology (esp speed) & our subjectivity is in the process of disapp-earing as we transfer our sensory capabilities to machinery. I mention these titles because I play the role ofliterary mentor to several people but especially Kym who is probably far too busy learning chinese (19/4/01. Ican understand why some chinese scholars say writing is older than language. Because their writing consists ofpictograms (unlike the representation of sounds as in the west) it amounts to saying that gesture, making marks,signing - i.e. the body, precede vocalization) to be the slightest bit interested in any of the titles I list. Im losinginterest in the saints & am only going to include ones on which the entries are very short or Ill write abstractsor maybe leave them out altogether. There are two of them for today. St. Hegesippus who died around 180 was anative of Jerusalem. He became converted to Christianity & spent 20 years in Rome during the pontificates ofSt. Anicetus & St. Soter. He is called the Father of Church History because he traced the succession of the po-

pes from St. Peter down to his own time & recorded apostolic teachings. His five books which contained certainunwritten traditions of the jews were still in existence in eastern libraries in the 17 th century but have been alm-ost completely lost since then. The other saint today is Blessed Herman Joseph (c. 1150 1241) who startedhaving visions at the age of 7, entered a monastery at 12, & left a number of writings which caused him to behighly esteemed as a mystic throughout germany. Its 8.15 & Collingwood are playing Fremantle at ColonialStadium : time to switch on the radio.

Sunday 8/4/01. 10.05 am. I lay in bed a long time feeling miserable & wondering if it was worthgetting up. The reason I decided to head for Lake Gairdner or the Gawler Ranges was because the overwhel-ming landscapes there dont leave room for memory. When youre walking in remote country you have to payattention to time & compass otherwise you might not get back. But I wonder if it will be enough on this occ-asion. Ive been through some of the struggle [deleted] is gripped by & I know there is no guarantee of success.

Yet to survive is to reach a shore denied to others. Most survivors agree. Whats more they agree that they havehad to do it by themselves; or with help only from god some say. [deleted] is determined to manage withoutdrugs. He is right if he succeeds. Todays saint is St. Julie Billiart (virgin 1751 1816) & I will put some detailin about her because she is the founder of the order of nuns called the Sisters of Notre Dame. They have twoconvents in Victoria : one in Sale (28/1/05. since then its bkum ko-ed & haz mlgm8d wth St Pats) & theother in Box Hill (28/1/05. whr mMaIrLgBaUrReNt wife of SdPeInTnEiRsI uzed 2 teach rt) in Melbou-rne. When my mum & me & my sister Rasa came to Sale in 1950 we were at first housed in the convent. (19/4-/01. Father stayed back in Bathurst for a few months as he had work there). From the passage across the hallfrom our room on the 2nd or 3rd floor I could look through a small window into the chapel where a newly arrivedyoung hungarian (27/1/05. Iv bn krrktd he woz polsh) priest used to sing the masses. To have the massessung was a huge novelty to the nuns most of whom were quite old & I could tell that they were in love with

him. Later we lived across the road in an old leaky house that has since been pulled down to be replaced by thegarage that is there now. My mum taught german, latin, & french at the convent but she also had to take on sew-ing because she was underpaid by the nuns. For quite a while we used to walk across the road to the conventwhere we were served a main meal in a room next to the kitchen area. Once a week it consisted of tripe & I stillshudder at the memory. There was an italian gardener/janitor who had been there since before the 1st world warbut couldnt speak english. A very nice nun who corresponded with the other Notre Dame convents around theworld gave me stamps that led to a terrific collection which would probably be worth a fortune by now exceptthat I gave it away to someone when we came to Melbourne. Another, but cranky, nun taught me piano. I wassupposed to practice daily but instead I used to duck around behind the high corrugated tin fence of the conventgrounds & practice marbles till I became one of the best players at St. Pats college on the other side of town

5


6/21

where I went to school accompanied by my dog Margis. I used to watch him through the classroom windowwaiting for me in the street outside occasionally creeping up behind an old lady passing by to bite her on theankle. I think someone had him put down. So back to St. Julie Billiart. She took a vow of chastity at 14. Whenthe family farm was lost she had to hire out & work for others. When she was 23 an attempt was made on herfathers life & the shock caused her to become paralysed from fright so that she remained a helpless bed-riddencripple for the next 30 years. But her spirit was not broken & she continued her mystical life. During the sixyears of the French revolution (1789 1795) she was always in danger of death & had to be secretly moved toCompiegne, Amiens, Bethancourt & finally back to Amiens. Mass & communion were possible only when

some hunted priest was in the neighbourhood. Through all this she continued to direct her charity work aimed atpoor orphans & later girls in general. In 1803 her work was put on a permanent basis with the founding of theInstitute of the Sisters of Notre Dame. In the following year the crippled St. Julie, then 53, was urged by apriest to take one single step for the love of the sacred heart of jesus & she found herself suddenly & completelycured of her paralysis. In all she founded about 10 convents. She often travelled by cart or on foot walking 28miles on one occasion. She knew god would provide & once she left the sister superior of a newly founded con-vent with a starting capital of one franc. There are Notre Dame convents around the world & many of the stud-ents receive their education free of charge. My sister Rasa was one of them & my piano lessons were also free. Idont think I paid fees (27/1/05. but my mum tells me w did) in any of the schools I attended in the catholicsystem .

Monday 13/8/01. (25/1/05. from 13/8/01 25/8/01) Its 5.30 pm & Im on what is prob-ably my main escape route (Melbourne - Charlton - Ouyen - Pinnaroo - Morgan Burra) 5 ks short ofMurrayville in Danyo reserve. First stop was Charlton for a hamburger with the lot at Lous. Maria wassmiling to herself as I entered as she knew what I was going to order. I told her that she made the be-st hamburgers & I was hard to please. When I was eating it she came over & said : Have I not lostmy touch? I told her that she hadnt; I knew coz I go all around australia comparing. When she brou-ght the coffee it had a dollop of real cream in it. She wished me a good trip as I walked out. Since theOuyen turnoff these are some of the place names Ive driven through : Galah, Walpeup, Underbool,Linga, Boinka. Bought a couple of stubbies at Underbool for the road; wanted a beer & a stout butthere was not a single stubby of stout in the pub (she checked out back) nor a customer in the bar.When I got to Danyo reserve I thought, fuck it, Ill go on to Murrayville and get one. So I did & got a

Southwark Old Stout & discovered you can get Southwark Black Ale there too, one of my favourites.Now Im back at the reserve for the night. The big thrill is testing out the new sleeping bag that I bou-ght at Target for $60. The old one had frayed apart so that the stuffing inside was spilling out. Oh yes,the hamburger & coffee at Lous was $6 & I recommend you stop there. Its on the right hand side ofthe main street as you enter Charlton going north. I can tell there has been no serious rain here butthe ground is covered with a green tinge. Its very springlike : no cloud in the sky & I can hear the callsof at least a dozen varieties of birds. Am not putting up the mozzie nets : its going to be a cold night &too dry for them here. A truck roars by occasionally on the highway (2/2/05. I think it haz since bndoptd az th prffrd Sydney/Adelaid rout x th trukn ndustry so now they roar past l8 in2 th nght & havmade th spot less ttraktv) a kilometre away. The bible is on the dashboard of the van to deter thieves.A lady at litho house in Nth Melb yesterday criticized me for using it for that. She said I should be

reading it more instead. Along the way I ignored a dead eastern rosella by the roadside as Helen nolonger collects the feathers but I stopped to have a look at a barn owl somewhere north of Sea Lake.Tuesday 14/8/01. Ive had breakfast & am a bit shivery as I write sitting on the back

bumper with the sun just clear of the scrub shining directly at me. The aim of the trip is to clarify a fewtrains of thought by writing them down. I want to terminate these incessant discussions Ive beenhaving with myself for weeks now as I ride my bike, as I lie in bed; it doesnt stop even when Imeating. My interest is not the truth (I leave that to the owners) but what can be said clearly. The lastthing I did before heading off yesterday was to take out the maps of the Flinders Ranges I had put inthe van a few days earlier to replace the maps of western N.S.W. I had put in before that. Fact is Imstill not sure where Im going (it could be a metaphor for my life except that it is my life). Ill make up

6


7/21

my mind definitely tonight though I reckon it will be Lake Gairdner & the Gawler Range. I dont want toplan ahead as I want to be open to chance influences & hope that such an attitude helps me be lessstructured in the writing. My birthday at the end of the week puts me in a mood to review habits, getrid of excess baggage. (Kate gave me a stone inkwell & a calligraphy brush; Ben, Dan, and Joe whoare all living at home now wont know about it even though Ill be giving them this piece of writingwhich they wont read; my mum gave me a maroon jumper; Helen gave me the best present Ive evergot or known anyone else to get : a foldout booklet she made titled the A-Z of a z listing all theattributes she claims me to possess which are so extravagant that they would make a saint blush with

embarrassment (I only smirked inwardly)); last week at the monthly mail-artist meeting in a caf inRichmond Lloyd Jones (6/9/01 who is putting on a production on nothingness & loss of self with acast of over 20) & Warren Burt (back from lecturing in the US of A and traipsing around the entireworld) sang an aria to a Guisseppe Verdi tune for which they improvised the words along the linesHis birthday is coming soon; Your birthday is almost here (etc); the government of Victoria is givingme a seniors card which allows me concession rates on trams & trains.) One habit Ive already ridmyself of is going to galleries (not even the slightest disrespect intended to the two very fine ladieswho own galleries that are on my mailing list). Ive been going to them because it seemed as good away of mixing with friends as any other & I also wanted to support some efforts but Ive noticed thatwe always talk crap in that environment & its influence is so pervasive that we still talk crap in the pubafterwards. However Ill make an exception for the show Kate says shes putting on in october. Ive

even considered getting rid of the reading habit but Basalt, who is reading Montaigne, told me thatMontaigne (who read a lot) says that Plato says that we shouldnt read too much so as not to clutterourselves up with the memories of others. Then he introduced me to Vasco Popa who is truly a greatpoet. Here is an example (from memory hence maybe made up) :

it was the poor who invented sex

so that men with their long iron keyscould open womens copper lockswithout paying silver shillings

Then a book I had ordered through Borders Count Julian by Juan Goytisolo (Juanita,have you read it?) which had been recommended to me by Frank Lovece arrived & it turned out areally good read I knew I was in the presence of a sophisticated mediterranean. So Ive brought abook with me on the trip in case of a rainy day : The Shadow of the Sun, latest by Ryszard Kapus-cinski. Ive read everything Kapuscinski has written (Gyrai! how about returning my copy of SoccerWars) & I take my hat off to him he was a traveller. However Ive discarded (I here put on notice)my self appointed role as literary mentor to several people on the mailing list. Ive never met anyonewhos read a book that Ive mentioned but because of that role friends of mine are forever recomm-ending books for me to read. & I usually do. But I cant keep up any longer. I quit the job but not rea-ding altogether. It would be unfair to expect anyone to read my handouts if I didnt read at least a bit(or pretend to). Its 9.30 am, the sun has risen in the sky & warmed me up & Im feeling better already.

Just about time for the road. First I have to eat a tomato because there is a fruit fly inspection point abit further along a few ks this side of Pinnaroo. Its usually manned during the day. Yair, I am feelingbetter. I am buoyed by the thought that what I share in my DNA with the fruit fly & the worm is greaterthan how much I differ from the chimp & the gorilla. Recently I read that 30% of my DNA coding is thesame as a bananas (Helen who once summed me up as a low tech high maintenance sort of guywould agree). As the bushranger said : when you live live in clover, coz when youre dead youre deadall over

Monday 15/4/02. (25/1/05. from 15/4/02 26/4/02) 5.30 pm. Melbourne .Ch-arlton (for petrol & a hamburger & coffee ($6.00) from Maria at Lous) . Underbool (for 3 stubbies) &

7


8/21

thats where I had a problem because when I went to start the van I couldnt turn the key & had to askat the garage for help which ended up costing $10 while I drank one of the stubbies in the pub. In theend (with the help of tools & the input of several people including a boy mechanic & an old man whowas good at tinkering with things) they unjammed the starter lock by the key wiggling method. To fixit up properly would require a new lock & a couple of days waiting for it to arrive. Drove on to Murray-ville for another couple of stubbies (this may be the way) & once again couldnt turn the key at first butwas more persistent & am hoping Ive found the spot Ive got to pull it back to to make it turn. Now Im5ks back at Danyo reserve where I nearly always stop on this road.

Im a droverIll die riding

Im riding across the saltbush plaintowards the distant sunwhen the sun goes downand the red moon shinesIll still be riding on

Im a drover

my camp gear is rattling

Im heading for Port Kenny on the western side of the Eyre Peninsula in South Australia. It will takesome days if Im able to start the car. A few weeks ago I bought 4 1: 250000 map sheets that coverthe entire peninsula. Each map covers approximately an area of 120ks X 150ks. I intend to spendmost of my time on the one called Elliston. (Im listening to the alarm chirrup of a willie wagtail). Iwould like to forget the world (the israeli army has surrounded the birthplace of the great prophet &shot the nose off the statue of his mother; somewhere underwater there is a submarine named afterhim (Corpus Christi) gliding through the oceans silently to evade detection by the ruskies : it has onehundred missiles each armed with three nuclear warheads, enough to end civilization; our alliance (ofanglos to protect modernity) has chosen to keep its prisoners in wire cages (27/1/05. the passge of

time haz nly servd 2 hightn my rvulsion @ our kmplcity. Its growin (28/1/05. gnorz @ me @ nghts &evn @ cside rzorts wth H. I m nable 2 blok it out az I woz th knwldge of th way th frnch had treatd lg-erian prznrs bkoz this time w r in th lliance th@ iz doin it ie kmplcit) like a kancer. I knnot dgest it);israeli tank crews say their prayers before demolishing palestinian hovels; palestinian girls blow them-selves up in desperation to kill israeli civilians; meanwhile Melbourne city is surrounded by more cran-es building huge apartment towers than Ive seen since before the last major recession; (Im drinking astubby of Southwark Old Stout) ( the sun has dipped below the horizon & there are many beautifulbird calls) & I think our civilization is doomed.) On the other hand I am leaving my domestic affairs inabout as good a shape as could be expected considering the circumstances (16/5/02. But now thingsare in disarray again) though I wish Ben would check the level of the engine oil & service his car now& again. (15/5/02. Last night it was broken into while in the drive of the Ivanhoe house by having the

drivers door jemmied. An attempt was made to rip out the stereo/radio.) (Im writing fast before its dark& I havent eaten yet). H is back at work today after a two week holiday. The only argument we hadwas when I tried to convince her that she should not visit Vi for one day a week (saturdays) so thatwe could spend the entire day together for walking about the city. I won. Last saturday Dan had prom-ised hed relieve her but when she rang in the evening to find out how Vi was it turned out he had notbothered. So it goes. He had probably spent the day sleeping & recovering from playing pool & watc-hing videos with Ben over the previous night. Kate is fine. (I had lunch with her at Threshermans inCarlton yesterday). She was looking forward to her first teaching round starting today. I also saw Vi atthe hospital for only the second time since shes been there. Shed had a blood transfusion earlier inthe day. It means shes decided that life is worth living even though deaf & bedridden.

8


9/21

oncea man diedlost in the desert

somedied in forestssome

lost at sea

nowmen die inhospitals

It could be that hers is lengthened by Hs being shortened. The quality of her life may be directly orinversely related to the quality of Hs life. The great men have always preached that fulfilment comesfrom service to others so if we are to believe them it could be a win-win situation (a term most likelyinvented by salesmen) but they were probably influenced by the example of mothers that had rearedthem & of admiring females that easily believed their spiel. (Gautama deserted his wife & child & the

nazarene deserted his mother). It may be that there are real choices to be made : more life for me isless for the other (Dostoyevski analyses the moral dimensions of the problem in the novel Crime andPunishment). (I can see a very thin new moon between the native pines & its time for a feed).

Tuesday 16/4/02. 7.50 am. I would like to leave these issues behind & do some subst-antial walking when I get to the Eyre Peninsula. Thats why Im writing about them now. Last year afterI finished the entries for the story 13/8/01 25/8/01 where the last entry was written at a beach a biteast of Cactus Beach (I had mistakenly called it Cactus Beach) on the western side of the peninsula Icontinued on for another 3 or 4 days driving along the coast south to Port Lincoln then north to PortAugusta. Its a great coast, particularly the western side & Im itching to get to know it better. Its an ex-ample of desert meeting ocean, the exact opposite to the tourist mecca in north Queensland, CapeTribulation, that some of my readers may know, where jungle comes down to beach. Continuing on

from where I left off yesterday : it may be that Hs efforts contribute to Vis will to live & encourage herto accept medical procedures that prolong it. Then Vi makes H miserable by complaining what a lou-sy life shes got. The increase of one is the diminishing of the other. No one can give themselvescredits for choosing a win-win outcome as any sensible person would do that. But if you choose toincrease yourself perhaps you should do it accepting the responsibility of decreasing another & if youdecide to help someone else only accept credit for the choice if it has decreased you. Another thingthat has been bothering me is a traditional hasidic legend/story that was told to me by Alec Drumm-ond at the Make It Up Club (2/2/05. woz thr gain ystrdy. FRtYoEmR woz playn guitr.) a couple of we-eks ago. There are always 12 Tzadikim (Righteous People) on earth only 12. They maintain crea-tion through their righteousness. If ever theres less than 12, creation will end. Thats how Alec told it& he wrote it down too. It bothers me because I smell a con. Linguistic considerations alone make me

suspicious. Why 12? The thing about numbers is that we have practiced the actions they represent.Numbers constitute exact synchronisations by people across cultures since the most ancient times,since the beginning of money economies in fact. Further refinements have led to mathematics whichis a major component of modern scientific technology. So it is legitimate to ask why not 13 or 11 or 7or 3 Tzadikim? (28/4/02. The same consideration applies to the 144000, or whatever it is, that the

jehovas witnesses claim is the number that will be saved). However we havent practiced at recognis-ing righteousness nearly as much. What is practiced as good in one culture can be seen to be very,very bad in another (worth reading Alfonso Lingis on the sexual practices of the Sambia tribe in newguinea on this). And we havent practiced at all at recognising a Tzadikim since if there are only 12we are not going to have met one. There are different orders of language side by side here & I suspe-

9


10/21

ct that what is vague or meaningless is meant to gain credibility by being placed next to what is exact.Its a standard trick. & since we cannot know the Tzadikim ourselves I bet our knowledge of them co-mes from middlemen wearing long beards (to denote seniority, access to antiquity, & that they aremale) & outlandish clothes (maybe all black, or purple vestments, or capes (but in india they someti-mes wear nappies to show how emaciated their bodies are from ascetic & yogic practices) & strangehead gear. Every conman knows that the outfit is 90% of the act. Yet I see humble depressed lookingwomen wheeling their mothers about in supermarkets or with a retarded son in tow (& I think this guyis in his 50s & his mother is in her 70s & they live in a housing commission flat & shes had him in tow

all her adult life & hes whining & carrying on & not at all grateful) dressed drably & with no claims toany kind of special knowledge & no one to listen to their story. Perhaps creation depends on the exis-tence of very many such women in our suburbs rather than the very few possessors of special right-eousness. In spite of my suspicions & having cast doubts on the role of cosmic brokers I have to ad-mit that I take up the offer of the great teacher, jesus of nazareth, that if we ask in his name he willintercede on our behalf. I have asked & I hold him to his promise otherwise what he said isnt true.Alec wrote down another story that I find acceptable. An unlearned Jew wanted to pray but didntknow the prayers. So he recited the Hebrew alphabet & said Hashem (Lord) you put the letters inthe right order. This is a bit like the palestinian whose ancestral home is being bulldozed & as hewalks away he gestures at the sky & calls out Allah Akbar. Time for the road : it will be interesting tosee if I can start the car .

Monday 11/8/02. (25/1/05. from 11/8/02 21/8/02)

There are a number of insanities

In the world

And my grandfather had them all!

Let us suppose that one fine day

You wished to go

To the other end of the world

In an ox-cart. Aha, he would cry,

Aha!

Hurry, my little man,

Hurry, my child, run and bring

My prayer shawl

And the pots of clay,

And three pieces of cheese,Two onions

And six pieces of well-salted meat,

Two strong shoes and a pair

Of cotton socks

And one convenient shirt.

10


11/21

When one goes on such a long

Journey,

When one is finally serious,

When one really undertakes

To go

It would be a shame not to be ready.

Leonard Wolf

By contrast I am travelling in a brand new (1695 ks on the clock) Toyota Hiace (short wheel base) van that cost$30,000 to buy ($200 trade-in on the Nissan) & another $8,500 to fit out : pop-up roof by Sunliner to solve theventilation problem I had in the Nissan on hot nights : cost $4,000; two sliding windows : $500; front bullbar :$280 ; rubber mat for the floor : $200 ; large alloy wrap around back bar to sit on & put a stubby down on underthe tail gate that lifts up & also in case I back into a stump & demolish the back of the van (28/1/05. th tailg8 &bumpr wer dmaged on tuesdy in me bsence while parkd whn I woz vztn VvIaRiBdLaIsS. Th van hazdun 47000ks) as I could have done on at least 3 occasions in the Nissan if I hadnt had a heavy duty bumper onthat too : cost $800. The boys who made the bar (of Boss Aluminium in Ringwood) suggested I line the top sur-face with rubber to protect me arse from freezing & this evening provided just the right circumstances for test-

ing out its effectiveness. I spent 2 days & a half in the workshop with these guys while they made the bumper &the 2 aluminium beds, which are the only substantial fixtures inside the van, to my specifications. The end 1/3of Hs bed is detachable so I can leave it at home when I travel by myself & the remainder is used as a table (Iam writing on it now under a very bright fluorescent light that apparently hardly draws any electricity). Thebeds (& various small extras) cost $1705 & the privilege was all mine as I couldnt have spent time in finer com-pany. David Whitehead (who is only 24 but I think he owns the company) grew up on a 7000 acre property 15-ks out of Boort on the road to Wycheproof (where I turned off west today to go through Birchip, Beulah, Hope-toun, Walpeup & Underbool to where I am now 6ks short of Murrayville (to which I went on to pick up a cou-ple of stubbies one of which (Coopers Stout) Im drinking now & to fill up with petrol & work out that Im onlygetting 8ks to the litre so my range at a maximum of 500ks per tankful is hardly any better than in the Nissanwhich though it had a smaller tank usually did more than 10ks per litre. The tank of the Hiace is 70 litres but

doesnt fill to more than 80-85% capacity & the higher consumption is caused by the more powerful engine (2.4lts) that makes it feel as if youre driving a sedan)) where he would much prefer to be right now except that itwas sold. At a young age he has already been all over the place including fiji where he worked as a plumber &became acquainted with many characters (2/2/05. 1dr if 1 of them woz th persn I had met on an rlier trip Eyre pnnsula hoo had met (or had a vzion of ) JESUS in FIJI (c 15/4/02 26/4/02 p22)?). Whenhe was a kid everyone said he should be an artist as he was a natural at those things. He is married with a smalldaughter. He made the two aluminium frame (bases are of wooden slats) beds secure enough to withstand themost bone jarring corrugations as I had told him I often drive long distances on such roads. One of his knees hasbeen shattered in a motorcycle accident. His aim is to be in semi retirement by the age of 35 so he can conce-ntrate on making the things he wants such as a motorcycle frame of his own design. The other guy in the factoryis Mark Limbom. He is 30 & has a 6 month old pup (with about 20 different breeds in him, all large & vicious)

of a mild disposition called Deemon. Mark is trying to work out how to stop Deemon farting when they go trav-elling in his 4x4. Marks favourite drinks, which I got to taste, appear to be bourbon & coke, & Jim Beam & co-la. He has done drugs & learnt the better of it. He supports his mum financially who made the mistake of stand-ing surety for his brothers loan & could have lost her flat in the process. Mark made the back bumper & sugg-ested the rubber covering. He doesnt care if he gets alzheimers because he wont know when hes got it, he said.These boys grind, cut & weld aluminium & other metals all day long & at the end of the day they sweep up apan full piled high of metal dust as fine as bulldust. Their faces are black with oxidized aluminium. When theyslap their trousers they make clouds. The only protective gear I saw them wear were welding helmets & gogglesto protect against flying splinters. They do all kinds of custom fabrication & welding & I recommend them. To-

11


12/21

day is the first day of a trip to test out the new system to which they have made an essential contribution & sofar its working well. Its good to leave Melbourne.

Journey

You can turn away

From the lepers rattle,

Shut your windows and ears,

Wait until he has passed.

But if once you have heard it

Youll hear it always,

And because he wont go

You must go.

Pack up a bundle thats not too heavy,

For no one will help you carry.

Creep away softly and leave the door open,

You will not return.

Go far enough to get away from him,

Board a ship or look for a wilderness :

The lepers rattle will not fall silent.

If he stays behind you will take it with you.

That tapping on your eardrums listen!

Is your own heartbeat

Gunter Eich

Tuesday 12/8/02.

I am retracing a very regular path. The willie wagtail I am listening to is prob-ably the same bird that was chirrupping the last time I was sitting here writing on a tuesday morning warmed byan early sun. There is plenty of condensation in the van as I didnt raise the pop-up because it was so cold. I no-tice you can get condensation on the aluminium frames of the beds. The bed felt just as roomy & comfortable asa standard one at home. That was the idea when I designed the interior : to first make sure I was capable of agood nights rest (& H too when she is here). I consider it to be the single most important component in the pres-ervation of my equilibrium. The standard campervan you see on the road (often being driven by an old codgerlike me) is an attempt to imitate a little room : carpets, sink, fridge, stove, microwave etc. etc. They are wired upfor 240 volts so that you can run the appliances by plugging into mains power in caravan parks (they also usual-ly have a second battery). The beds in them are too narrow or too awkward to get in & out of. The room doesntwork as well as the one at home & in the caravan parks you are more crowded by neighbours than in the suburb

you left behind. The appliances & the cupboards weigh a ton & make the vans very sluggish & the owners relu-ctant to take them into difficult terrain for fear of damaging expensive equipment. Ive never been in a caravanpark even when I travelled with five kids. My gear is stored in compatible plastic boxes which are light & canbe left behind if not needed. They fit snugly under the beds. Unlike the campervans which carry water in largemarine tanks cut into the side panelling of the van mine is in plastic containers of which I take only as many as Ineed. I have a good spot for a jerry can of petrol which would extend my range by 180ks. On the bed I have aswag with an extra mattress inside it & I lay a sleeping bag on top of it. If I want to I can roll the lot up & put itoutside to sleep under the stars. I toyed with the idea of getting a 4x4 but reading in the paper last week that onecar in three bought new in Melbourne is a 4x4 convinces me that Ive made the right decision. .

12


13/21

Tuesday 11/3/03 (26/1/05. from March 11) The anatomy of a public disturbance. Let us say u rsitting @ a sidewalk table of a caf (actually it woz me & H on saturday (8/3/03) arvo @ the Time Outcaf in Federation Square) & u notice, a few tables away, a waitress in prolonged, agitated conver-sation with a young ( about 20 ) & ineffectual looking youth who is holding bundles of newspapers &brochures promoting the peace campaign. It seems she is trying 2 prevent him distributing his mater-ial 2 the patrons but in spite of his unimposing stature he continues 2 rgue back. Finally the waitressdisappears with dtermined stride in2 the caf & the youth continues handing out his material includinga brochure that H takes & which I read & note 2 b a particularly well balanced ( & moderate ) plea 4

peace & advert 4 4thcoming demos. After a while when he gets a couple of tables further along whe-re an lderly lady buys1 of his newspapers an imposing & dtermined looking bruiser ( probably the ma-nager I think ) in the black outfit worn by the staff comes out of the caf & takes up with the peacenik.Once again he is quietly insistent. I note that this is a public space though undoubtedly Time Out ispaying a hefty fee 4 the right 2 have the tables here & serve liquor. Then I notice that the athletic bru-iser dressed in black has taken hold of the pathetic peacenik by the upper arm & I say in a command-ing voice over the top of the patrons @ the intervening tables : take your hands off him, u cant do tha-t, thats illegal, leave him alone, if u want him out get the cops. It has the dsired effect & after a whilethe peacenik leaves apparently of his own accord. Now the bruiser comes over, squats down on hishaunches next 2 where I am sitting ( H is on the other side of me ) & ngages me, sotto voce ( not wis-hing 2 provide further ntertainment 4 the patrons ), in a sustained accusation over my bhaviour ( later

H said he looked very upset ). His main point seemed 2 b that I had publicly humiliated him by jump-ing 2 conclusions over his bhaviour. He said hed been 2 the peace march ( there had been 1 that day) & dmanded 2 know if I had been 2 any. He said his father lived in the middle east & his mother wozan activist in the womens movement. He said he was only doing what the manager had asked him 2do & when I tried 2 rgue back by pointing out that when people kill (28/1/05. & trtur) in wars they alw-ays say they were only obeying orders he told me 2 stop lecturing him. Then when I said I admitted Ihad probably been too sudden having been affected by a rush of righteous indignation & asked him 2convey my apologies 2 the manager he said he didnt give a stuff about the manager & that I had ins-ulted him personally no doubt being prejudiced by his appearance bcoz he was large ( & swarthy? ) &shaven headed. & I woz saying thats ridiculous Ive got heaps of friends who look like u but he kept on& on his face only a foot or so from mine. I woz trying 2 say that it woz quite possible that I had misin-

terpreted his actions & yes I had been too quick 2 get vocal but he kept on as if he woznt hearing me& I woz saying that a very good friend of mine looked just like him & as I said it looking in2 his face itseemed 2 me that he did indeed look remarkably similar around the eyes & mouth 2 that very goodfriend Sebastian Salt (2 whom I have referred in several of my pieces ( see 13/2/01 26/2/01 p.1 )as Basalt & who woz partly responsible 4 putting me on2 the essays of Montaigne ) who woz teach-ing english in Madrid & the bruiser said thats my brother u r talking about. Now it so happens thatBasalt is 1 of the people who actually appreciates my writing & woz on my mailin/dlivery list until hebusted up with his partner ( so he drank a bottle of vodka, rode in2 a tree & fell off his bike, threw upover himself, when he came 2 in the morning his wallet woz gone, quit his job, left for Paris ) & left foreurope. So its not surprising that me & the bruiser whose name turns out 2 b Maz (probably 4 Matth-ew) nded up shaking hands & even xchanging pleasantries. Bas is fine, apparently, since scoring a

new bird an rgentinian sort. I promised 2 bring Maz a copy of my most recent piece. That woz howthe incident nded & me & H dparted 4 home in Miller st., me a bit stunned. Next day I had arranged 2meet Jane Crawford who had come back 2 Melbourne from the KUNSTLERHAUS BETHANIEN ( & Itake the opportunity 2 pass on a hello 2 Danius & also 2 Mike Stevenson whose studio ( representingnew zealand ) is down the passage ) in Berlin at litho house in Errol st. North Melb. for lunch. We talk-ed mainly about writing ( she does it ) & what writers do or not. She had come with a box of fotos whi-ch included ones of when they had visited litholand over xmas where they had been joined 4 a coupleof weeks by none other than Basalt himself. It so happened that I was carrying an nvelope in my bac-kpack containing 2 copies of my last piece bcoz I wanted Maz 2 send 1 of them on 2 Bas in Madrid(2/2/05. kood eezly hav bn on th train blown up x th terrrsts, he sez (Danius sed), xpt he took a sikkee

13


14/21

th@ day). I woz particularly impressed with myself coz in that piece of writing, fresh off the press, Idvote an ntire page 2 commentary on coincidental events of xactly the kind that my altercation withhim had illustrated. Whats more the piece mentions Time Out caf as thats where I had a drink withVaidas a week earlier ( see February 24 p. 4-5 ). When I xplained it all 2 Jane she suggested I incl-ude with the copies 1 of the fotos of Bas in litholand she just happened 2 have there with her in thebox & which she gave me. As I woz cycling down King st. on me way 2 Time Out with the nvelopecontaining copies of my rticle on the back of which I had attached the foto I had stopped @ the lights@ Little Collins st @ the same time as a car from which Andrew Saniga who is also mentioned in the

rticle in the nvelope ( see February 24 p.7 ) called out I suppose this is one of those coincidences(he had evidently read the piece) u talk about. I said it sure is but I didnt have time 2 elaborate as thelights changed. When I dlivered the nvelope Maz suggested we have a talk over a cup of coffee. Illtake him up on it some day. I wrote this ntry in the little park on the opposite side of the highway 2 theMurrayville pub (from the windows of which I can hear the TV). I have drunk 2 stubbies & will get ano-ther 1 2 take back with me 2 Danyo Reserve 5ks away. I wont dscribe the reserve as I already haveon many occasions. Its 7.10, Im due 4 a feed. Oh yair, @ Lous in Charlton where I had a bacon &onion hamburger I gave a copy of the rticle 2 Maria bcoz she asked how Id been. ( 20/3/03. 11.55 a-m. I suppose the invasion of iraq by the US, britain & australia is starting about now. I am @ Lous inCharlton again on the return journey. The dust storm here yesterday woz the worst Maria had seen &she woz here in 1983 4 the last big 1. The coffee woz on her & I promised 2 send the writing. )(27/1/-

05. Ill send this 1 2)Wednesday 12/3/03 The sun has risen ( 7.55 ). Last night Id b woken by voices nearby or by the so-und of a car engine & as Id strain 2 hear Id wake up again & look out the window in2 a starry night. Itsa kind of agitation : u wake from 1 dream in2 another & maybe another again. On the first couple ofoccasions I could see the moon setting in the west bhind the callitris pines. Consequently I dont knowif I slept a lot or very little. I woz tossing & turning in the grip of introspections or confusion. Frank Os-owski ( @ the poets ) suggested I give xpression 2 my confusions rather than always seeking claritybut language doesnt lend itself 2 such an effort. It tries 2 nail down, hold up 2 the gaze, forge agree-ment. ( just had a visit from a hooded robin : Melanodryas cucullata ).Take my word 4 it though I amconfused. When I woz a kid ( bcoz I was rgumentative ) my lders had a habit of telling me that Id kno-w better when I got 2 their age but all I learnt woz that they hadnt known what they were talking abo-

ut. The main thing they sought woz financial security & the deities they worshipped ( never waveringin their loyalty ) were the gods of achieverism. They r not mine. Late in2 the night & long b4 dawn Ivebeen listening 2 the trucks roaring on the highway in the distance & am reminded of a passage in Au-sterlitz (27/1/05. a kupl of munths ago I told DRUaMlMeOcMD I wood take hiz rkmmd8n 2 read it ha-vn kmpletly 4gottn I (2/2/05. not az bad az LfOrVaEnCkE hoo on 26/1/05 (c Danyo Reserve p5) wozquotin @ us Time is simply a yardstick of our separation @rbutin it 2 Faulkner havn 4gotnhed got it from my piece 30/11/04 9/12/04 p2 whch hed rceivd nly a kupl of dayz rlier) lready had)( Sebald ) where the narrator listens 2 the ebb & flow of the traffic in a large city from his hotel room &wonders if he is hearing the life form that is about 2 replace him or already has. I dont think its quitelike that. What we r hearing is what we r changing in2 - our new heartbeat Wednesday19/3/03 Yesterday I was told at the pub that the guy called John who used to ride up on a bike with a

little terrier (28/1/05. xakly th same az th 1 LjEaGnOeOtD haz hooz name, I think, iz BOSS) following& who has just bought a VW van when I last talked to him died 3 weeks ago of a heart attack. Today Idrove to Danyo reserve through the worst sand/dust storm Ive ever seen between Moorook & Pinar-oo, especially bad from Loxton to Pinaroo. Rang H from Murrayville to tell her Ill be home tomorrow.Oh yes, John had an arrangement with a friend in Adelaide that if one of them died the other wouldlook after his dog. So the terrier has a home. A woman in the pub said they gave him a proper sendoff considering he lived alone & had no connections.

Wednesday 9/7/03 (26/1/05. from June 28) Weve retraced our journey into Victoria (BurraMorgan Waikerie Moorook Loxton Pinnaroo) to Danyo Bushland Reserve, a

14


15/21

stretch of mallee and callitris pine off the Mallee Highway just past Murrayville. It isfamiliar territory to John as its one of his usual spots on tripsinto S.A. Its green, in muchbetter shape than he last saw it. We spoilt our record of domestic harmony today with ablue over what I consider to be the mangling of perfectly useful and easy words bycareless handlers of the language and John considers to be natural and charming verbalevolution a la Shakespeare, when we heard an Aussie ASIO troglodyte use the wordnucular instead of nuclear on the radio. One thing led to another and we spent thenext half hour in respective sulks. Goes to show that some people will argue over 2 flies

crawling up a wall. God help the Arabs and Israelis. At Waikerie there was a big placardoutside a church with the message : You are bound to stumble if you are not humble,

so Ive taken it to heart and have nuffink more to say on the whole sorry matter. (U had

the last word but (until now)). Some may lamnt th@ in a world of no measures or

st&rds (ltim@e truths) from outside the human condition ther is confusion about

how we shld liv. I dont find it a problem bcoz ther is always the spectcle of

xmplary lives, contempry & hstorical. They cannot be calibrated or condnsd in2

rules (eg. the 10 (plus heaps of minor 1s) of moses) bcoz they r not quantt@ive

but particular & wheras the fortunes of the rch can b countd the qualties & acts

of xmplary lives can only b ndicated or dscribed. Those who complain th@ therole models chosen by the masses r trite or nadequate (or prsentd & controlld by

fnancial ntrests, the me-dia etc.) hav the option of offrng thmslvs as more

suitable 1s. I hav chosen 2 rtain the life of the prpht from nazareth as my pre-

emnnt xmpl of how life shld b livd. My loyalty is not backd by deeds. I hardly evr

read the accounts of what he has tght & lately whn I do his words seem strangely

opaque as if meaning itself has changed. Or mayb I stare @ thm 2 ntensly & ask

but what does it mean? & thn they dsintegrate like bubbles bursting in spray.

Evn his words may b finally dsp-pearing! But I rtain the picture of a life : of a

manger, of a lamb, of a heart, of a teacher & healer, of the sharing of the bread &wine, of a king riding sidesaddl on a donkey in2 Jerusale. Perhaps they r pictures

from illustrated bibles 4 childrn.

Monday 18/8/03 (26/1/05. from August 18) Melbourne (9.30am) Charlton (ptrl & hmbrgr @ Lous;4 the 1st time Maria woznt here bcoz she woz vsting her kids (2/2/05. spent $20,000 on her sunsweddn & a few yearz l8r he woz dvorced. Her gr&rtr (hoo getz sum of my writn) iz studyin 2 bkum a4nzk scientst) in Melbourne) Underbool (2 stubbies) Mittyack (20 mnute powr nap by the silos;found a crockery t cup rimmd with a flowr dsign 4 H) Danyo reserve (c June 28/29 p20) wher me& H campd on the last night of the previous trip. Nothing has changed here, honey, in the ntervning 7weeks. I suppose its bn 2 cold 4 the grass 2 grow & the ground is dry. Im buggrd bcoz I ddnt sleeplast night. I woz teeming with ideas whch now I cant b bothrd writing down. @ 2.30am I had heardnoises & got up 2 find Ben had arrived 2 use the washing machine he said but more likely 2 leavetheir house mpty 4 Joe 2 do his casanova bit wth 1 of his new grlfriends after he knocks off work @the pub in the middle of the night. Then @ 6am Kate rang from Sydney wher she had just arrived bybus 2 get my mums fone number. Ystrday I woz eating kugelis (made by Bronia, Odrone etc; 4 therecipe c 3/6/03 12/6/03 p7) washed down with lambrusco (pourd by Ruta) @ litho house in Errol stNth Melb & now Im drnking a glass of Fruit Ballad Lavender & Apple dessert wine in ap@chof scrubin the middle of nowher. Im a wreck. Its getting dark. I can hear a very persistent cuckoo calling. 7.38-pm. Cold. Tuesday 19/8/03. 8.40am. I was awake 4 much of the night again. Its as if a switch wasthrown on sunday & now Im agitated. I worry about the kids. If I didnt discipline myself Id be worrying

15
mailto:p@chmailto:p@chmailto:p@ch


16/21

about them all the time. Or maybe its a cyclical thing. When I did finally fall asleep I was soon wokenbecause it got so cold. Whenever I touched against the side of the van it was penetrating through thesleeping bag. I was cupping the point of me shoulder with me free hand (What were you doingwith your non-free hand? Helenz 30/8/03.) 2 stop it chilling. There is a thick layer of frost on thefront of the window (facing away from the morning sun) still. My agitations translate themselv-es in2issues about writing bcause I know th@ success in saying what I want 2 dispels them. Ive de-cided 2cut back on the fone text style though. Excessive tinkering with individual words is slowing me downtoo much & makes the typing difficult 4 H. It constipated the xpression. The xperiment was fun &

worthwhile if only 2 find th@ the 4m wasnt natural 2 me. u find out by doing it. @ a meeting of theconcrete/visual poets Tony Figallo once talked about breaking away from linear writing & Id like 2but its got me in its grip. As if Im meant 2 b there. What Id like 2 do is make the sentences less sequ-ential or if connected then by some other less rigid method (eg by association or sound) so I could

jump about from topic 2 topic more freely & the whole flow in a more amorphous continuous way, likewater over rocks. It would make it more like I am. (A few days ago when Lance Morton sold me a pairof sandals 4 $125 th@ he normally sells 4 $175 he said Yester-day is history/tomorrow is a myster-y/today is a gift/& thats why its called the present. One of his customers is Ray Parkin who lives inthe locality & was a friend of Weary Dunlop. On the Burma railway they used 2 exchange their sket-ches & writing so if only 1 survived the others work would also b saved. Recently his manuscript oncaptain cooks explorations in the Endeavour was discovered & published by John Clarke. Hes writing

a book on the meaning of life. Hes 93. When Lance asked him what his secret is he said I live todaylike Im going to die tomorrow (so he should @ th@ age)). Making phlosophical statements about (avery large hare lolloped by) direct experience (knowledge) is problematic & the temptation is 2 over-reach (3/9/03. I have poked fun @ Neitzsche (c June 28/29 p14) 4 saying I am god I am god (VaslavNijinsky also said it) after he went mad but I do it with the observation th@ when a whole society actsin a godlike manner its members, secured by righteousness, fail 2 c the funny side). We forget th@our perceptions r interpreted by the words we assign 2 them & r given meaning only when others joinus in accepting our language. A couple of days ago I read a book by Chris Hedges ( First AnchorBooks Edition, June 2003. ISBN 1400034639) called War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning. He hasreported on the majority of recent conflicts & writes with passion how war intoxicates & distorts ourperspectives (& how politicians use th@.) I think it does it because in war we join with others whi-ch is

the basis of the 4mation of all meaning. (Elias Canetti writes well about it in Crowds and Pow-er).The experiences of an isolated individual mean nothing b4 they r shared. Since the last trip Ive alsoread Neitzsche and the Vicious Circle by Pierre Klossowski ( ISBN 1226443876 (paperback)(printed on acid-free paper)). Nietzsche thought his experience @ Sils Maria of what he termed theeternal return would change the course of history. But the language he used 2 give expression 2 itwas incoherent so it was never shared. Even George Luis Borges couldnt understand what he wastrying 2 say. Pierre Klossowskis explanations r equally incoherent. The requirement th@ if it is 2 havemeaning language has 2 b accepted & understood is salutary. I cannot think of a better example 2illustrate the classical greek notion of hubris than the story of the last day in the life of jesus of nazar-eth who in the morning claimed he would b seated @ the right hand of power & in the evening wailedoh god, oh god, (28/8/03. for how would he know it was god?) why have you forsaken me? (a rufous

whstler (cant give u the latin name coz I forgot the bird book) is chirruping in the calitris pine next 2me) Thursday 28/8/03. Camping spot (where I definitely wont b able 2 get in again this yearbecause of the growth in the vegetation down the centre strip of the track) Waikerie (ferry acrossthe Murray & petrol) Loxton (also a Murray town where I checked the mobile on which Dan had lefta message 2 say he was better but if he was still crook in a weeks time he would see Doig (who hasclosed shop 4 a while 2 c one of his kids compete in a ski event) on friday ; read the paper over $3 ofstrong latte) Pinnaroo (topped up with petrol @ the BP service station where the dispenser in thetoilet sells SUPER RIBBED & TEXTURED CONDOMS & CONDOMS IN ASSORTED COLOURS) Murrayville (2 stubbies of Coopers Sparkling; they had 1 inches of rain last weekend) Danyoreserve (2.30pm). I have come a full circle as its here I wrote the 1st entry 4 the piece Im putting out

16


17/21

so mayb its appropriate 4 me 2 come back 2 Nietzsches notion of the eternal return on which I com-mented then. (I can hear the rufous whistler again) Despite his (& Pierre Klossowskis) best efforts &his mastery of language (he had been a prof of philology) he was unable 2 make his experience @Sils Maria coherent (pass it on; integrate in2 the social fabric). Perhaps its just as well 4 it may b wh-en it is translated in2 words (agreed meaning) the primary experience of knowing (ie the discomfort,agitation, amazement, mystery) is laid aside or destroyed. Putting things in2 words (labelling, giving acontext, explanation) is always reductionist (& a viewing backwards), an attempt 2 explain complexityby simplicity (many by few; set in terms of subsets). His failure 2 incorporate (in2 language) his insig-

ht shows how xeptional it was. It seems he understood the limitations of language & so the questionhas 2 b asked why he persisted in the effort (I am interested becoz I keep asking why I am writing).His answer, self flattering I suggest, would have been th@ he was giving xpression 2 an overabunda-nce, an xess, an xuberance (throwing pearls b4 swine?) (when I get out of control I talk about dialec-tic, an intersection of discourses etc) but I think it is more likely th@ no matter how secure we feel inour separate identities we know we r incomplete until we r joined with others. It is likely the Sils Mariainsight was incapable of being shared becoz it connected parts of the brain (which mediates (or is anode in) all experience, emotion, ideas, insight, intuition but u cannot say its where they happen) rare-ly joined. It may b the kind of connections involved were the same which would later lead 2 his insani-ty & subsequent silence. Klossowski suggests he had a premonition (likewise it seems jesus of nazar-eth knew (he is reportd 2 have predicted) his ministry was 2 end in his early execution) of it & the Sils

Maria revelation was its justification. Should Nietzsches insight have been contingent on his final con-dition the insanity is no measure of its validity since experience is its own judge (christs death can bseen equally as a suicide (he could have avoided it by accepting the offer on the cliff top) which somemight call a negation or as being justified (even necessitated) by his ministry). Unlike Nietzsche I dontfeel driven 2 explain epiphanies. In these trip notes I have been describing the small detail of minorworlds & hope my acceptance of what I cannot underst& protects me from the anger of the gods.

Wednesday 5/11/03 (26/1/05. from October 27) . Changed me mind & drove on 2 Renmark whereI checked the message bank. 1 was from Mykolas, left last Friday, telling me (as per agreement) ther-e was a meal of kugelis on @ litho house on the sunday. The other was a surprise message fromAndrew S (31/1/05 wth hoom I had lunch in Lygon st 2day) saying no 3 baby hasnt arrived yet & wis-

hing me well out in the backblocks (he knew from H). Rang H @ home & caught her b4 she was lea-ving 2 go out with Kate. She had expected me 2 b away 4 up 2 a month but I told her the writing wasas good as finished so I would b back on friday & would b riding me bike 2 the Bocadillo as usual. Meribs r better all the time. Im sitting on the back bumper under the tail gate on a warm night @ 8.35 pm& there r no mozzies. Im gunna get drunk. I had 2 stubbies after Loxton & bought another 2 @ Murr-ayville 5ks back. Between Renmark & Loxton the air was redolent with perfumes of flowering trees,especially orange. I can hear an owlet nightjar (Aegotheles cristatus). Its still. The smell of the grasscrushed where I drove in over it is a contrast 2 the perfumes of the riverl&. Thursday 6/11/03. The fu-neral tied up some loose ends but also produces new 1s. I prefer the word disengagement 2 closure.In closure u put outside & shut the door. (9/11/03. You also use a horrible piece of amer-icanpsychobabble helenz.) When u disengage u can retain @ a distance. I hadnt known how Vi had

prayed or th@ she had accepted the last rites. It made the religious tone (but Im glad there was nomusic I dont think I could have stomached it) of the ceremony H, a non-believer, had devised moreunderst&able. I dont think I would have liked 2 have been in Noels shoes married 4 a lifetime 2 awoman 4 whom even @ your very best u could only ever b a 2nd best. I grieve 4 him. I was away on atrip 2 Thurra river in Gippsland when he died & it hasnt occurred 2 me 2 ask what kind of funeral itwas or if H had organized th@ ceremony also. He was buried by the Gianarelli (28/1/05. Viz woz dunx Le Pine in Ivanhoe whch Iv since dskuvrd iz ownd x a yank korpr8n) brothers & I rem-ember beingsurprised @ how little it had cost. He wouldnt have wanted it differently. During their marriage Vi hadknown how 2 rub in his 2ndary status but perhaps he had deserved it. Hs charac-terization of her bythe single word love is seen by me in the context of having had an altercation with her from whch our

17


18/21

relationship was unable 2 fully recover. I grieve 4 Vi bcoz I think she would have liked 2 fly & couldhave but was always grounded by circumstances. Its interesting how the clergymen get in on the act@ critical moments : birth, marriage, sex, death. They know where youre vulnerable but its a mutualarrangement. These r the m@ers people recognize as pivotal & in whch they ask 2 b guided (7/11/03they yearn 4 endorsement). If its not the church whch does it then its going 2 b the state whchdelegates the task 2 lawyers, doctors, accountants & experts whom it can control more easily byowning the franchise. But churchmen r very easily controllable these days too unless theyre muslims(27/1/05. but x now they 2 hav bn kowd & rmain silent on th trtur of Habib (29/1/05. rturnd

AUSTRALIA ystrdy on th nnvrsry of th lbr8n of AUSCHWITZ (GUANTANAMO will grow in th mmry ofhstrians) & woz mmd8ly smeard (havn prviously bn mnstru8d on?) x Ruddock hoo sez he iz rportd (xsum1 trturd? (31/1/05. a knadian wth a rabk name hoo woz rendered (a butcherz term meann 2 karvup & melt 4 f@) x th US of A syria falsly dmttd 2 trainn wth al Qaeda in th lok8ns he woz told 2say )) 2 hav traind wth al Qaeda & th@ he will b kept ndr bzrv8n 4 past ssoci8ns (an eezee (favrit ofKGB) smear az ppl dont rlize how few s of sepr8n dvide us) & Downer ssured us he will not b llowed2 rzume th war on terror (freudian slip?). I will read hiz book if he rites 1 2 try 2 dcide if he iz Ollynnocent (az I xpkt ) or whthr he haz bn rleasd bkoz he haz greed 2 prmote (31/1/05. or bkoz he hazbn pumpd so full of psykoaktiv chmkls he haz gon mad & lost krdblty so th yanx feel hiz ssertions Ohiz treatmnt will not b takn sriously) yank (thr4 our) PROPAGANDA.) & uthrs). Their silence on criticalissues where it counts but 2 speak up would endanger privileges is thunderous.I wonder what Id do

about a funeral if H died. Id never thought of the possibility having already outlived my expectations. IfI asked shed say dont b morbid, who cares. I think Id do nothing. Mayb go on a trip & sit on a pier wi-th a stubby somewhere on the Eyre peninsula. Kate would say Ill organize it what do u want done dad& Id say suit yourself. Rasas view is th@ my mum would like a large community burial along the lin-es my father had (9/11/03. but perhaps she thinks so bcoz its what she herself would xpect). @ leastId come 2 the wake in case her & Egle needed support. No kind of funeral service would have salv-aged his death. He (28/1/05. a keen fotogrphr. 2day I nlarged & sent off a kupl of fotos takn in th early50s 2 th Lakes Entrance Family Resource Centre Inc. (c/o Brian Hancock) of us wth an boriginl famlynxt 2 their humpy in a settlmnt in th foothills out back of Whiters Park. I rote 2 Brian it woz ronik th@thez, th nly fotos of th settlmnt (long gon) he knew of, wer takn wth my fathrz kamra - th newst rrivlsfotografn th earliest!) died @ the wrong time (around 50+) 2 have had a chance 2 benefit from the fri-

endship of a son as I was still @ an age of sturm und drang & not easy 2 get on with. He was a per-son who had found it difficult 2 cope with dislocation & when he finally got his electronics diploma @RMIT & his law subject from Melbourne uni & was beginning 2 settle in2 a job as a patents examinerwhch he found 2 his surprise suited him just right he died. & it was a difficult death with much misdi-agnosis & cutting edge medical experimentation. In the end it turned out 2 b bone cancer & his illnesswas unforgiving & long. 1 thing I realized after Vis funeral is that I dont want 2 b incinerated & I makethe request 2 any1 2 whom it might concern. I would like 2 know now so my last conscious moments rnot distracted by thoughts of fire. Bury me in a ditch (10/10/03. so I can look after me worm farm).

Tuesday30/11/04.(26/1/05.from30/11/04~9/12/04)Melbourne(10.15)Charlton(hambrgrxMariahooseztheyhad1drdwhrIdgot2)Ouyen(stubby)Underbool(2stubbies)DanyoReserve(6.45&Ivpordakoff

ee).Itshot&humidwthachangedueovrnght.ThbooksIvbrghtrTheRhinocerosHorn&OtherEarlyBuddhistPoemstrnsl8dxK.R.Norman,pubxThePaliTextSociety,London(1985),ISBN0~86013~154~8(lentxjZoIsZeYpShhoolsogotme2readthDhammapadagainrcently&lastweekreadbookslentxDIaCnAdSrTeRaOhooIrcknizakloztbuddhst)&PensesxBlaisePascalwhchkanbreadgain&gainhoosezin563:Itisnotpossibletohavereasonablegroundsfornotbelievinginmiracles.Imghtrturn2thklaim.Morndrst&blyin606hesezAtruefriendissomethingsovaluable,evenforthegreatestnoblemen,thattheyoughttodoalltheycantohaveonespeakwellofthemandstandupforthemintheirabsence.Buttheymustchoosecarefully,fori

falltheireffortsarespentonfools(kkrdn2GuruBobnevrrguewth1az1sttheypulludown2theirlevlthentheybeatuwthxprience)itwilldothemnogood,howeverwelltheyspeakofthem.Andtheywillnotevenspeakwellofthemiftheyfindthemselvesontheweakerside,becausetheyhavenoauthority(thisisthekey~min

18


19/21

e),andsotheywillrunthemdowninordertobewiththemajority.MetGEORGEKcOoTnZABASIS(mountsakase4ajustwar(sspndnrulesofcvlizedbhviour(anmnntUSlawyr,Dershowitz,wthapostn@HarvardorPrincetonrgueztorturofsuspktsshouldbmadelegl.Hehazbnntrviewdonoztv&treatdwthrspkt(21/12/04.inamajorrtklinthAgelastweekndrGaAyImToAnd,whilexprssnhizlongwindd2tortur,inthlast,shamefullymtig8dDERSaHlOaWnITZZpointofview.Faktiz2torturiznomoram@r4learndrgumentthanwhthrwshouldornothelpapersnnjuredxthroadside.Xthtimeitneeds2bjustfiedxreaznn(howwordsfit2gthr)itiz2l8.Xngagininthdskussionhelreadykntributestortur.Thstr@egyofdvok8softorturizprcisely24ceu2makethisknsssionazifthssuekouldbindoubt.)evnxourveryownHojWoAhRnD(7/1.lyingrodent.Ukangivazmuchmuny2tsun

amivktmsazulikeitwillbgr8fullykceptdbutwwillnotbfreedofguiltnorwillworshouldwb4givnxarabs,muslms,&th3rdO4ourfalsmotivsiniraq)))(cVilniusMelbournep2))hoogaveme2ssaysxhim:MooresFilmCruiseMoorsIntoTheBayofBigLies&TerroristBarbariansNotAtTheGatesOfCivilizationButInsideItsGates.ItoldConwrlooknthrghwndowsinppozinwalls@dffrntviewsbutwrsittnback2backinthsamekaf&ourkoffeeizservdxthsamewaitrss.Ivlenthizbook2HOaLnLdIyS.OnakmpletlydffrntnoteHpointdout2meth@FaulknerhadsedThepast(21/12/04.sum1elssed:Timeissimplytheyardstickofourseparation.Ifweareparticlesinaseaofdistance,explodedfromanoriginalwhole,thenthereisasciencetooursolit

ude.Wearelonelyinproportiontoouryears.)isnotdead.Itisnotevenpast.(21/12/04.&hereizmyjournlntry416/12/042pruveit:Thursday16/12/04.Dr.MichaelJanson:Haveyoueverthoughtwhatmakesachampionsportsperson?AstheOlympicsloganstates:theyarestronger,theycanrunfaster,andjumphigher.Butmostofalltheyamazeusbyachievingtheseeminglyimpossible.Thetruecha

mpionsliveoninourmemoriesaslegends.Theachievementsoftruelegendsaresoconsistentlyamazingthatthesearerecordedinvideoandreplayedtimeandtimeagaintotheconsistentamazementofviewersfromallagesandgenerations.SomehavetheirimagescastinbronzewhilstothersareinductedintoHallsofFame.Butmostofall,atruechampioninspiresustoachieveourbest.HowmanytimesdowealsodreamforourselveswhatitmustfeelliketostanduponthepodiumasanOlympicgoldmedallistortoholdhightheWimbledonWinnersTrophyoryourteamsWinnersCup.()Sportinggreatsalsobringpersonalitytotheirsports.Manywelovebutsomechampionswedislike.Thosewhoseetheirachievementsinisolationfromtheiradmirersorfailtoacknowledgethepsychologicalsupportofthecheeringcrowd,andthosewhoarrogantlybelievethemselvestobegods,neverachievesportingimmortalityastruesportinglegends.Atruesportingchampionamazesusbytheirachievements;inspiresustoachieveinourway,butmostimportantly,despitealltheirgodlikeachievements,neverlosesthecommontouch.()Haveyoueverthoughtwhatmakesachampionteacher?Thechampionteacherhasgreatknowledge,canexplainthemostdifficultofconceptsinaneasilyunderstoodway,andhasthebestpreparednotesandactivitiesofall.Thetruechampionteacherhasthatmagicabilitytoinspire,tomotivate,andtocaptivateourinterest.Formanystudentstheirchampionteacherhasthespecialabilitytohaveasignificantlifechanginginfluenceuponthem.()UnfortunatelysocietydoesnotawardchampionteacherswithgoldmedalsorinductthemintoHallsoffame.Howevermanyofushaveourownchampionteacherwholivesoninourmemoriesasatruelegend.Werememberthatteacherforever,notonlyfortheirfinequalitiesasachampionteacher,butalsoforthesignificantinfluencethattheteacherhaduponourlives.()InthinkingaboutthisarticleforESSENCEIookedthroughmyoldschoolmagazines.Iwasstruckbytheyounglookingimageofmychampionteacher,MrZizys,standinginthebackrowofthestaffphotographatThornburyhighschoolin1968.Hetaughtmeenglishinyears11and12.In1967,Iwasinagroupof30studentswhoweretakentocentralaustraliabymrzizyswhentherewerenomaderoadsandtheoutbackhadstillnotbeeninvadedbytourists.Mrzizyshasbeenmychampionteacherwhoisinmyhalloffameasatruelegend.Hewillforeverbemychampionbecauseheinspiredmetolovetheaustralianlandscapeandtoexpressthesefeelingsthroughusingthepoweroftheenglishlanguage.()Iamsadhowever,becausenowIwouldlovetosaythankyoutomrzizys.WhenIwasatschoolIthoughthewasagreatteacher,butIcertainlydidntrecognizewhataninspirationalinfluencehewashavinguponmylife.Idontknowifheisstillalive.Perhapshewouldbeatleast70yearsofagebynowifheisstillalive.Thereisnowayoffindinghimeither.Itsallabitfrustratingnowsome37yearslater.()tothoseofyouwhohavemanagedtoreadthisarticletohere,mayIencourage

19


20/21

youtothinkifyouhavejustoneteacherwhoisyourtruechampion.Perhapsyoumightthinkaboutsayingaspecialthankyoutothembeforeitistoolate.Ifyoudontgetaroundtothis,thendontworry,championsdontexpectbigprizes,theyarealwaysextremelyhappywithsomethingassimpleasamedaloracup.Truechampionsaretheoneswholiveoninourmemoriesandbecometruelegendsbecausetheypowerfullyinspireusandchangeourlivesforthebetter.Thrtklwozbrght2my@10tionxSjTuAlNiIeOtN(1/1.2hoomIgaveSwTaRlUtVeErSrtklOthrginsofthKOkllektion(5/1.namedftrKurtOffenburg.Walter(hootellsmeinalettrIrcievd2dayIshouldkonsidrwritinshortstories)hooizrsearchnthkllektionasksIaskmyreadrsth@ifny1haznfoorkomnts2makeonKOwoodtheykum4th.)inthST8LIBERRYOFVICTO

RIAsoitO8s)2doorsdownLocksleyrdhoozdghtrRachelizastudnt@UniHigh.Itizfromherndofyearmagzine.DrmJiAcNhSaOeNl(4mlyJANmKiOlVeIC)[email protected]&s@inhizffice4sevrlhours.Itwozhghlymotionl.ThnlyprsonIminkntktwthfromThornburyHighizHAdRaRvIeS(4/1.Dave&mekountd8dthsofstudntswknewoffromtheiryear(ie1968):5roaddths(4kar,1mtrbike);2kncer;1suicide(?)).ItturnsoutMile&Davehadlivdinthsamestreetazkids&werfriendzfromage5&hadkmpltlylostkntkt.SoIdroppdanssueofthskoolmaghizlettrboxonmewayback2Ivanhoe(Millerst).Daverangmeinthevnn&IprmisdIdgivhimMileskardwthfone&home&workprtklrs2mrrow.Showdthrtkl2DIaCnAdSrTeRaO(25/12.(1/1.all5ofourkids:Mchael,K8,Joe,Ben&Danwer2gthrndr1roof4th1sttimein17yrs)&thdayb4ystrdy2LfOrVaEnCkE(1/1.hoorpeatdhizklaimth@wallknowverythnbuthideitfromourslvz&lsomadethbzrv8ion(wthwhchIgree)th@itizmordffkult2xplainhow2kkount4ourfeelnsofsepr8nssfromeachuthrthan4thbviousfaktth@wrjoindin2asinglntity)whnth3ofusdrankl8in2asultrynghtndrthelmtree(26/1.whrwrmeetnupgain2nght4AUSTRALIAday~2talia

ns&alitho(4meitzadayofmournn:1)@thgr8stvilencedun2dmokracyinAUSTRALIAinmylifetimewhnakabnt(26/1/05~itwasaunilateralJohnWinstondecision(hesaiditpubliclyinthUSbeforehecamehome)withnoreferencetoanyone.helh&z)dcisiontiedour4tunes2thUSrgardlssofwhrthUShadorwooddcide2takeus;2)thoughImnotatypkl(oftvviewn&nwspprreadnvrietybutrthrofthkindwhohazspentalifetravlln2manyozlok8ions&speakn2ppl)patriotImournthwayHoWARd&hizkabnthavgr@uitslytrnsfrrdasgnfkntpartofAUSTRALIANsovrnty2thUS;3)&Imournthfaktth@thAustralianpublkl8rndorsdthselloutinalektion))onthkrnrofMiller&Curzonsts(1/1.inwstmelb(26/12nghtwwillbeatnsmokedfshwshdwthbeer(Leffewhch(kkordn2Vaidas)tasteslikealithobeer)justaztheydoinlithl&)))wthhoomIhadlunch2day.Boughtmngoes2leavinMillerst4thweeknd.Tookthevan(7/1.klutch(hopeitznotthgearbox!)izgoinftrnly47,000kssoIvgotitbookdMelbourneCityToyota419/1azitzstillndrwarrnty(3year)whrtheytellmeifitzfromrdnarywear&tearthwarrntyduzntpply.ButImakareful(norkordofwreknklutchs&gearboxz)drivr&thvanduzntkarryabigload&duzmainly

longkuntrymiles.)(washd)Millerstwththebikensidebuthad2rideback(&earliertown4thlunch)wthoutahelmetazId4gottnitinIvanhoe.@thmeetnwthMileystrdaywgreed2rzumekontakt(4/1.thsurestwayofdmythoogizin)infbuarynxtyear(3/2.gotahim2daysjestnwhavaBBQ(march6?)wthDave).Boughtasupplyofgrogs4xmas(25/12.thrtklxMilewozmynxpktdxmasprznt.Ithazgon2mehead&Imshowinit2very1.Mythanx2DrmJiAcNhSaOeNl.)@DanMurphys&dskuvrdth@Cascadehazputoutanewbeerawhite(5/1.calledSummerBlonde)wheatbeer(1/1.on23/12AndreabghtusabottlofCHIMAIbeer4O$18.Itssed2bmadexthTrappsts&astnghtIsleptlikeababyftrgettndrunkonmorofitboughtxmemumazanewyrgift.Maybtheyblessit).Tstdit&itsgood.)Itwouldhavbnagood12nkludemungthbzrv8ionsonpast,prznt&futureonp1ofMelbourneKaunasor2putin@thndofVilniusMelbourne2sumrizewhtizproblythmaintheme(5/1.SwTaRlUtVeErsezaFnRaAtNoClEesedWhenafactisknownthroughtheevidenceofasingleperson,itisadmittedwithoutmuchhesitation.Ourperplexitiesbeginwheneventsarerelatedbytwoorbyseveralwitnesses,fo

rtheirevidenceisalwayscontradictoryandalwaysirreconcilable.)ofthpiece.Evnlessrlvnt

Date post:	30-May-2018
Category:	Documents
Upload:	john-arunas-zizys
View:	225 times
Download:	0 times

Anth 53 Danyo Reserve

Documents