HOW DO I BUILD A STRONG FAMILY?

ARR-3.2 Evaluate positive and productive ways of behaving and relating to others in family, career, and community

settings.

ARR-3.3 Analyze and promote parenting roles, responsibilities, and practices that maximize human growth and development

Functions of the Family Meet Basic Needs

Children have physical (food, clothing, shelter), emotional (support, self-esteem), social (learning what is right and wrong), and intellectual needs.

Preparing Children for Society Character Development Communication Religious Training Abilities

Trends Affecting Families

Mobility Life Expectancy/mortality Economic Changes Workplace Changes

Child labor trends Women in workforce

Technology Divorce rates Births to unwed mothers

Building a Strong FamilyForming Traditions

Celebrating traditions (special occasions) Family Traditions (vacations, special

activities) Patterned family interactions (meal time,

bedtime)

Shared Values Values that parents pass on to their

children are largely passed on to them as children through life experiences and religious beliefs

Handling Family Conflict Parents and children need to try to

understand each other’s viewpoint and feelings. Keep cool Be an active listener Use positive body language

PARENTING STYLES

99% of all parents want to be good parents

Effective parents use a style they feel comfortable with – that matches their personalities and values. Few parents follow just one style all the time. Most parents use a combination of all of them.

What influences a parent’s choice of parenting style?

1.The way their parents raised them.

2. The family structure, whether it’s a nuclear family, step-family, single-parent family, extended family, one or both parents work outside the home, etc.

3. Ethnic background

4. Individual parenting skills and knowledge

AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING STYLE…

Authoritarian parents value obedience, structure, and respect. And they believe in a family hierarchy, with dad usually at the top, mom next in line, and children last.They use external control to teach right from wrong, such as spanking, and are quick to act on a discipline problem.

This is the most traditional parenting style historically, and is based on the use of power.

Giving orders

PERMISSIVE PARENTING STYLE...

Giving In

Parents have difficulty setting firm limits and are inconsistent.Parents view themselves as their children’s friend, and have concerns that their children will not like them if they set too many rules.

Over time, children often become selfish, self-centered, and manipulative to get their own way…because they know they can.

Parents take a "hands-off" approach, allowing children to learn from the consequences of their actions.

Assertive –Democratic Style…

A balance of freedom and responsibility.

It relies on the principles of equality and trust.

Parents and children are equal in terms of their need for dignity and worth but not in terms of responsibility and decision making.

Parents model right and wrong by their words and deeds, and give reasons for limits; discipline is used to teach and guide, not punish or control.

(Authoritative)Giving Choices

NEGLECTING PARENTING STYLE...

Sometimes called an indifferent parenting style due to it’s lack of emotional involvement and supervision of the child.

Parent attempts to do what they think needs to be done to raise their children ends up being neglectful or abusive.

Giving Up

(Not mentioned in text)

Guiding Children’s behavior

Guidance – using firmness and understanding to help children learn how to behave

Self-Discipline – ability to control own emotions. Children gradually develop a conscience or an inner sense of what is right.

THREE BASIC WAYS:Role ModelSetting Limits

Positive Reinforcement

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior

A child’s age and development should shape an adult’s response.

Negative Reinforcement –aimed at discouraging children from repeating an inappropriate or unacceptable behavior

Natural consequences – children suffer from actual result of their action

Logical consequences – connection to the misbehavior Loss of privileges – most effective for 5 and older; works best if

privilege taken away is related to misbehavior Time-out – short period of time in which a child sits away from

others. One minute for each year of a child’s age is generally a good length of time.

Lack of follow-through shows children that they don’t need to take their parents or their limits seriously.

Poor Discipline Bribing Making children promise to behave Shouting and yelling Shaming or belittling Threatening to withhold love Exaggerating the consequences

Being Consistent is the key to guiding a child’s behavior. Clearly make rules and apply them in the same way whenever the situation occurs. All caregivers need to agree in advance on the rules an dhow to enforce them!

THE FAMILY AS A PRIORITY...

When it’s been a long, hard day, are you still going to make the effort to read a bedtime story? When your child wakes up in the morning too sick to go to school, are you going to leave them home alone so you can go to work? Are you going to live without new shoes so they can get a cavity filled?

FAMILY MUST BE #1