996 North Broad Street
Globe, Arizona 85501
O: 928-425-2185
F: 520-586-6129
www.seabhssolutions.org
S o u t h e a s t e r n A r i z o n a B e h a v i o r a l
Heal th Serv ices Inc .
Aspiring Upcoming Events
Summer 2014: “Remembering Our Loved Ones”
This all-day community event around “National Grief Awareness Day” would include
keynote speakers sharing their personal stories about their losses and what their coping
strategies were; activities such as a balloon release with special messages to loved ones;
vendors; grief and loss materials; and food. All ages welcome!
Fall 2014: “Autumn Blues Workshop-Coping With Your Grief During
the Holiday Season”
A special featured event located in Globe Arizona. There will be two time periods to which
people can attend either for a morning or evening session. This will be a FREE event for
any community member interested in attending to receive knowledge about grief, coping
skills, and SEABHS service information. Registration will be required in order to attend.
Winter 2014: “SEABHS Grief & Loss Program Angel Tree”
This is a holiday program, supported by the SEABHS Globe Grief & Loss Program, was
designed to assist children who have experienced a death of a loved one or who are in the
foster care system during the month of December. Angels that represent each child will be
posted on a holiday tree after the Thanksgiving break. People will be able to take an angel,
purchase a gift for the child they selected, and give the item to the grief & loss therapist.
“Gri
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Communicating About Your End of Life Wishes
Life can be difficult and most often we
don’t want to add on any additional
stressors by discussing the topic of
death and the preferences of a loved one
after they’ve passed. We much rather
enjoy life day-by-day instead of focusing
our precious moments on how a loved
one wants us to handle their body; where
they would like their body or ashes to go;
the written will terms of who gets what; or
even how they want their ceremony. Dy-
ing is also very scary to think about for
many and often people just don't want to
discuss the reality that one day they will
leave from this living World.
Yet talking about death to your family
and about end of life wishes can become
a cherished moment for if something
does happen to you or a loved one sud-
denly. We plan birthday parties, our ca-
reer paths, weddings, when to have a
baby, and even retirement; but rarely do
we plan for how we want to be cared for
at the end of our lives or what we want
after we’ve passed on. The research
shows that adults are more likely to talk
about safe sex to their children and why
not to use substances rather than talk to
family members about end-of-life wishes.
Why is it so important to have this
conversation with your spouse, other
adult family members, close friends,
and/or older children? See reasons:
Making It Easier: By preparing in
advance for your death you are helping
to reduce the stress that your children
and family would go through. Loss is al-
ways painful but to help the persons fol-
lowing through on your wishes by making
all the arrangements for them is a tre-
mendous burden off their shoulders. As
family grieving over your death will al-
ready be in a very vulnerable state; they
being puzzled over what kind of casket to
select should not be something heavy
this issue
End of Life Wishes P.1
Personal Story: By C.P. P.2
Grief and Loss Q & A P.3
Aspiring Upcoming Events P.4
ISS UE
WI NTE R 2014
01
SEABHS Grief & Transition Newsletter Issue 01 Winter 2014
Grief & Transition newsletter
SEABHS SERVICES
THE SEABHS INC. GLOBE
OFFICE OFFERS A VARIETY OF
GRIEF AND LOSS SUPPORT
SERVICES. THERE IS A SPECIFIC
GRIEF AND LOSS COUNSELOR
ON SITE IN GLOBE AZ THAT IS
ACCEPTING REFERRALS FOR
PERSONS WHO HAVE EXPERI-
ENCED THE DEATH OF A LOVED
ONE; ARE TROUBLED BY THEIR
DIVORCE AFTERMATH OR SEPA-
RATED FROM A SPOUSE; AND
FOSTER CARE YOUTH. THE
SERVICES THAT ARE AVAILABLE
TO COMMUNITY MEMBERS IN
GILA COUNTY INCLUDE:
EDUCATIONAL MATERIALS
SEASONAL INFORMATION &
RESOURCE REFERRALS
INDIVIDUAL & FAMILY
COUNSELING
LOSS SUPPORT GROUPS
REMEMBRANCE EVENTS
GRIEF WORKSHOPS
LOCAL PRESENTATIONS
IN-SCHOOL/AT-HOME
SUPPORT
Wendy Logan, MSW
Grief & Loss Therapist
C: 928-200-5697
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Mending A Broken Heart
Written by: C.P.
He was very loving, caring, smart,
and outgoing. He loved being in-
volved in baseball and football. We
started dating and I instantly fell in
love. It was an amazing love that felt
so unreal because of our great chem-
istry! We got a long so great. We
never had a bad moment in our rela-
tionship. We were inseparable;
spending every chance we could with
each other. We spent most of our
time with my family and our friends.
Then in the summer of 1993, after his
graduation from high school, he was
diagnosed with Cancer. It started
with a tumor in the muscle lining on
his side. He experienced a great deal
of tests and the plan was for him to
begin chemotherapy. I was with him
throughout the whole process but
had no awareness of all the challeng-
es that were ahead of us. I was 16-
years-old but madly in love.
Throughout the summer months we
would travel back and forth to Phoe-
nix for his chemo treatments and
hospital stays which would make him
very ill. I would stay by his side to
offer my support . I felt that our love
It was my freshmen year of high
school in 1992 when I met the
greatest young guy anyone could
have been blessed to know.
Recommended Children’s Winter Reading List On Death, Grief, & Loss
The Invisible String
by Patrice Karst
The Next Place
by Warren Hanson
Gentle Willow: A
Story for Children
About Dying
by Joyce C. Mills
Tear Soup: A Recipe
for Healing After Loss
by Pat Schwiebert
I'll Always Love You
by Hans Wilhelm
I Miss You: A First
Look at Death
by Pat Thomas
Water Bugs and
Dragonflies: Explaining
Death to Young
Children
by Doris Stickney
Sad Isn't Bad: A Good
Grief Guidebook for
Kids Dealing with Loss
by Michaelene Mundy
End of Life Wishes Continued...
The Widow’s Lament in Springtime Poem by William Carlos Williams
Sorrow is my own yard
where the new grass
flames as it has flamed
often before, but not
with the cold fire
that closes round me this year.
Thirty-five years
I lived with my husband.
The plum tree is white today
with masses of flowers.
Masses of flowers
load the cherry branches
and color some bushes
yellow and some red,
but the grief in my heart
is stronger than they,
for though they were my joy
formerly, today I notice them
and turn away forgetting.
Today my son told me
that in the meadows,
at the edge of the heavy woods
in the distance, he saw
trees of white flowers.
I feel that I would like
to go there
and fall into those flowers
and sink into the marsh near
them.
William Carlos Williams, “The
Widow’s Lament in Springtime”
from The Collected Poems of
William Carlos Williams edited
by Christopher MacGowan.
Copyright 1938, 1944, 1945
by William Carlos Williams.
and special bond would help in his
recovery. Sometimes he would have
to stay at the hospital and I always
wanted to be there with him.
As the months went on he grew
sicker. This was a very challenging
experience to witness as a young
female. When August came, and
school was about to begin, I couldn’t
focus on beginning a new
school year because he
appeared to be getting
worse. My family and I
made arrangements so
that they could get my
school work and I would
complete it at the hospital.
I continued to stay with my boyfriend.
the doctors stated that he had lots of
fluid in his lungs. He continued to
fight for his life but passed away on
October 1st, 1993. He died the day
after my 17th birthday.
The cancer eventually had spread to
his lungs and to his head. The doc-
tors expressed the need for including
radiation into his treatment process.
It was not looking any better for us. I
knew that I had to stay strong and
positive for him and for myself. He
had high spirits and love through the
entire time. He remained who I knew
him to be: always loving, caring, and
positive. Then on September 30th
I was young and had to deal with
depression. The internal pain was
enormous. It has been 20 years
since my wonderful boyfriend passed
away and I still feel pain from the
love that was lost.
I never received any
counseling to address this
loss or my grief; instead I
self-medicated by using
substances and even
attempted suicide. I have two beauti-
ful daughters now and recognize my
importance in this World; and I know
how important it is to receive services
for when you’re mourning. It has
taken me this long to get some coun-
seling and help to deal with this loss;
but I am definitely ready to confront
the pain that has been within me all
these years. I hope that my story will
encourage people to talk with some-
one or get services so that no one
suffers as long as I have.
“...I know how
important it is to
receive services
for when you’re
mourning.”
on their heart. Or even if
just telling them what you
want done then they wont
have the need to worry so
much about whether they
are doing what you would
have wanted.; and your
family wouldn't have to feel
guilty for not asking you
because it was a conversa-
tion already had.
Pre-death Closure: I am
sure that talking about your
end-of-life wishes isn’t go-
ing to be well-received by
your loved ones at first; but
by having the discussion
you are giving them an op-
portunity to think about
what life may be like without
you; to think about ques-
tions they may have about
death or their own end-of-
life wishes; the discussion
may even remind some per-
sons of the reality that we
all have to die someday; or
the talk may encourage
members to develop new
beliefs or to dig deeper into
the family faith.
A Reminder: You never
want to use your talk on
end-of-life wishes as a
strategy to get people to do
what you want or as a ma-
nipulation tool in order to
make people feel bad for
them doing something that
hurt you. Instead the topic
should be geared towards
expressing your feelings in
a respectful and sincere
manner; and to get the fam-
ily to understand that life is
precious and it must be en-
joyed each and every day.
Grief & Loss Seasonal Question/Answer
Q: Should I put flowers on my
loved one’s gravesite?
A: Everyone is different in their grieving
process; and based on your culture you
may engage in a certain practice while
remembering your deceased loved one
and while healing from the loss. I once
heard a story that there was two women
at a gravesite. One woman was putting
down flowers on her loved ones resting
place and another woman was putting
down food on her loved ones resting
place. The one woman while putting down the
flowers said to the other woman, “Do you really
think your relative is going to come up and eat
that food?” Then the other woman replied, “And
do you really think your relative is going to rise
up and smell those flowers?” They both
laughed. The message is that there is no right
or wrong way to grieve over your loss.
If you have a question for the SEABHS grief and loss
therapist and would like your question to be printed in
our next newsletter issue please email Wendy at:
By John Ross Palmer By John Ross Palmer