A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
• Introduction • TED Talk • Philosophy of dialogue • Assertive communication • 10 rights
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
• Power techniques • 8 linguistic skills • TED talk • Summary
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Introduction
• Who am I? • What is IOGT International? • How do we roll in this session?
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
TED Talk “Your body language shapes who you are” by Amy Cuddy
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Philosophy of dialogue
• Screens of perception • Seeing one another • Finding the same level • Talking with humans
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Assertive communication • Definition Fair feeling of responsibility for your own actions and demanding the same from others To know where your responsibility starts and ends • Natural versus unnatural assertive behavior • Continuum: Passivity – Assertivity – Aggression
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Group discussion… • Find examples and explore examples for the two
extremes of the continuum of comunication: passivity and aggression • 6 minutes time to discuss and share in the group • Choose an example to present • De-briefing
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Assertive communication • Continuum from one extreme to the other: Passivity – Assertivity – Aggression
• Passivity is … • Aggression is …
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Assertive communication Passivity is … • Already giving counter argument • Agreeing with everything • Not necessarily being silent • Not being able to say no • Always looking for ways not to bother anyone
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Assertive communication Aggression is … • Your own intentions are the middle of the world • Not seeing/ accepting another’s argument • Disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#1 • You yourself are the judge to your
beahvior, thoughts, emotions and your are resonsible for it.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#2 • You don’t need to offer any
excuses that would explain your behavior.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#3 • You yourself judge how much
responsibility you carry for the solution of other people’s problems.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#4 • You have the right to
change your opinion.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#5 • You have the right to make
mistakes and be responsible for them.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#6 • It’s okay to say ’I don’t
know’.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#7 • You have the right to be
independent of the goodwill of others.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#8 • You have the right to take
irrational decisions.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#9 • You have the right to say ’I
don’t understand you’.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
10 rights for assertive communication
#10 • You have the right to say ’It
does not matter to me’.
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Group work… • Each group to pick 2 rights • Discuss each right for 3 minutes • Present discussion of each right, 1 minute
respectively • De-briefing
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Group work presentation… • Present discussion of each right, 1 minute
respectively • De-briefing
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Power techniques
• Making someone invisible • Ridicule someone or an argument • Keeping information secret/ hidden, out
of reach • Doubbel punishment
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Power techniques
• Guilt and shame • Objectification • Violence and threatening • Showing status and hierarchy
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
You are not powerless… Strategies against
• Take space • Question • Put the cards on the table • Break a pattern • Intellectualize
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
You can create change… Strategies supporting welcome behavior
• Making visible • Show respect • Inform • Dubbel reward • Confirm positive norms • TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
8 linguistic skills • Broken record style Signal there’s patience
• Half-open door style Admit points from cp
• Negative assertion style Completely agree with cp
• Negative questioning style Invite all possible negative stuff
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
8 linguistic skills • Self-confidence Take blocks away
• Free information style No hidden agenda
• Acceptable compromise style Lose-lose is win-win
• Selective ignorance style Shield yourself from emotional attacks
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
8 linguistic skills • Broken record style Signal there’s patience • Half-open door style Admit points from cp • Negative assertion style Completely agree with cp • Negative questioning
style Invite all possible negative stuff
• Self-confidence Take blocks away • Free information style No hidden agenda • Acceptable compromise
style Lose-lose is win-win • Selective ignorance style Shield yourself from emotional attacks
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Broadway of linguistic skills • Pick one skill, don’t tell other groups • Prepare a piece of theater • 5 minutes preparation time • Ca. 2min show-time
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
What just happened?
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
TED Talk “The Power of vulnerability” by Brene Brown
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Summary • Philosophy of dialogue • 10 assertive communication rights • Power techniques • 8 linguistic skills • Body language • Me, my organization, the world
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
SELF-ESTEEM VALUES CHANGE
Summary • Philosophy of dialogue • Body language • Me, my organization, the world
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
SELF-ESTEEM VALUES CHANGE
Summary • 10 assertive communication rights
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
SELF-ESTEEM VALUES CHANGE
Summary • Power techniques • 8 linguistic skills
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
SELF-ESTEEM VALUES CHANGE
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD
Life Set Free
Thank you! Maik Dünnbier
@maikduennbier @IOGTInt
www.iogt.org
Life Set Free
A s s e r t i v e C o m m u n i c a t i o n A n d L i n g u i s t i c S k i l l s
SELF ESTEEM IS KEY FOR CHANGING THE WORLD