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8/8/2019 Assertiveness Skills Presentation NEW
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HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
YOUR OWN PRESENT SELF?
A G G R E S S I V E ?
DO YOU USE A LOUD VOICE?DO YOU INSIST ON YOUR POINT
OR VIEW?
ARE YOU HAPPY WHEN THE OTHER
PERSON SAYS YES SIR TO YOU?
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HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
YOUR OWN PRESENT SELF?
P A S S I V E
WHATS THE POINT OF ARGUING WITH HIM?
HE NEVER LISTENS
WHATEVER YOU SAY
I HAVE TO SHOW HIM RESPECT
HES MY ELDER
HE SHOULD KNOW WHAT I THINK(OR NEED)
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HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
YOUR OWN PRESENT SELF?
PLAY ONE OR AGAINST ANOTHER
TELL HALF THE STORY
FLATTERY ALWAYS PAYS
EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
M A N I P U L A T I V E ?
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NEED FOR POWER
NEED FOR AFFILIATION
NEED FOR ACHIEVEMENT
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FEELINGS
I WIN U LOSE
U WIN I LOSE
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Satisfied Content Happy
Proud Confident Superior
Secure Motivated Powerful
Energized Enthusiastic Successful
Self assured
Recognised by ones successes
A sense of achievement
A sense of accomplishment
On the top of the world adrenalin high
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Dejected Demoralized Sad
Unhappy Failed Unconfident
Forlorn The next time Rejected
Revenge (vengeful) Competitive Depressed
Dejected Frustrated Fearful
Pained Angry Complexed
Conspicuous by ones failure Lose Interest
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ARE YOU A M A R T Y R ?
I SHOULD BE A NICE GUY
SHE WONT LIKE ME IF I TELL HER THIS
WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY?
A WIFE SHOULD BE OBEDIENT TO HER HUSBAND
CHILDREN MUST ALWAYS OBEY THEIR PARENTS
MY BOSS SHOULD TELL ME WHAT TO DO
HE SHOULD KNOW HOW I FEEL
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ARE YOU A M A R T Y R ?
DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY APPRECIATE
YOU MORE FOR BEING GOOD ?
OR DO THEY THINK YOURE INEFFECTIVE ?
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EMPATHETIC PHRASES
I understand, Sir..
I understand how you feel, maam
I know this is upsetting.
(not I know this is very upsetting to you
I would feel the same way Sir
I am sorry this happened Sir
I suggest..
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DONTS FOR ASSERTIVENESS
DONT USE A LOUD VOICE
DONT USE AUTHORATATIVE GESTURES
DONT BE OVERFEARING
DONT GO OFF IN A HUFF
DONT THREATEN
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DOS FOR ASSERTIVENESS
EXPRESS UNDERSTANDING
SAY HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL
USE EMOTION WORDS.
I FEEL ANGRY WHEN..
I FEEL UPSET WHEN...
I FEEL SO PLEASED WHEN
GIVE WIN-WIN SOLUTIONS
EXPRESS THAT YOU HAVE OTHER PERSONS INTEREST IN MIND
INSIST ON YOUR VIEW POINT
USE A CALM CONTROLLED, TONE OF VOICE
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R E S P O N D !
Dont just
REACT
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I UNDERSTAND.
HOWEVER, I FEEL.
(BUT)
I SUGGEST
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ASSERTIVENESS TECHNIQUES
- POSITIVE INNER DIALOGUE
- BROKEN RECORD
- FOGGING
- NEGATIVE FEELINGS ASSERTION
- WORKABLE COMPROMISE
(OR NEGOTIATION)
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THE LAW OF IRRESPONSIBILITY
I have many rights but no duties.
I have the right to feel good.
If I do not feel good, it is not my fault.
It is the fault of the government, the politicians, the society, and the company.
I have many talents and needs.
It is the responsibility of the society and the company to develop my talents
and meet my needs.
When my company has problems, the responsibility rests solely with the
management.
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THE LAW OF IRRESPONSIBILITY
I am a back-bencher. I run no risk in shouting from the back-bench.
It is the duty of the management to involve me in their decisions.
However, I do not need to commit myself.I do not need to come up with constructive criticism or alternative suggestions.
It is sufficient for me to point out mistakes and omissions in their proposals.
I have the right to feel secure if I do not, I cannot
work effectively.
I am under no obligation to work effectively in order to feel secure.