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Dealing With Divorce
EDEE 606: Awareness PresentationBeth Thornburg
Melanie KiernickiMatthew Carrington
Sarah Propst
Divorce in the United States
• Divorce rates in the United States are approaching 50%.
Divorce in the United States
• There are different kinds of divorces.
Divorce in the United States
• Traveling between two different houses can take its toll on young children.
Divorce in the Classroom
• Talking to parents• Talking to the
student
Student Behavior Relating to Divorce & Separation• Anxiety• Aggression• Frustration• Despondency/Sadness• Demand for attention• Guilt• Fear/Worry• Withdrawal• Overcompensation/
Need for Achievement• Responsibility
*Children cope in different ways and need various levels & types of support
Why may a student be hesitant to accept assistance?
Worry of stigmatismDesire for
confidentiality
Student Ability to Deal with DivorceAble to review and revise
their own (unique) perspectives
Understand what is happening within their family
Understand the role they play in affecting arrangements and relationships in the family
Recognize and reflect upon their own expectations for the future
Student Ability to Deal with Divorce
Younger students benefit from activities that offer distraction
Older students benefit from the opportunity to discuss their feelings
Both groups benefit from peer groups
Student Ability to Deal with Divorce
Young children and adolescents still value their parents as their ideal support system
Obtaining Assistance: When to Seek Help
If the behavior seems extremely unusual for a particular child, is serious or harmful, and continues for a prolonged period of time
Obtaining Assistance: Who Can Help?
Parents
School counselors/psychologists
Books and online resources:http://extension.missouri.edu/p/GH6611 teacher
guide, activities in classroom, how to communicate with parents
http://childrenanddivorce.bizland.com/rfep articles on guidelines, red flag behaviors, and how to work with others as a team to help students
http://www.brainpopjr.com/health/relationships/divorce/grownups.weml lesson ideas for teaching about issues of divorce
Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for
Parents Set up a parent information center or lending library
Provide parents with online resourceso http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/divorce.html
Provide a list of books that parents can read with their children
Encourage parents to monitor their children’s school progress, and give them information on how to help their children succeed in schoolo http://parenting-ed.org has free parent handouts about how to
improve study skills and other ways to improve school performance
Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for
Parents Encourage parents to engage in learning activities with
their child at home
Encourage parent networkingo Provide opportunities for parents to participate in school
activities and interact with other parents
Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for
ParentsProvide parents with references or suggestions of people that can assist them
o Local support groupshttp://www.divorcesource.com/groups/southcarolina.shtml
provides a list of the support groups in South Carolinao Family counseling agencies
http://local.divorcemag.com/Divorce_Counseling_North_Charleston_SC-r1371268-North_Charleston_SC.html provides a list of local counseling agencies
Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for
ParentsProvide parents with references or suggestions of people that can assist them
o Family therapistsAmerican Association of Marriage and Family Therapy is an
organization that can provide a listing of trained marriage, family and child counselors in your area. (202) 429-1825.
o National supportParents Without Partners, Inc., is an international nonprofit
membership organization for single parents that provides educational, family and social activities. www.parentswithoutpartners.org/
Obtaining Assistance: Obtaining Assistance for
Students
Online resources o http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/divorce.htmlo http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/family/divorce/
Bookso http://www4.uwsp.edu/education/pshaw/resource_list.htm is a list
of books about divorce for kids of all ages
Talk to otherso Teachers, school counselors, religious leaders, or even peers
Student support groups or informal school groupso http://www.bananasplitsresourcecenter.org/index.html Banana
Splits is a school-based support group program, for children who have experienced divorce or death, that schools can use to start their own chapters or access resources
Accommodations: Classroom and School Support
Work with the family and school to form a network of support that promotes healthy child development
Partnership ModelTwo-way CommunicationAppreciating Family StrengthsMutual Problem Solving
Keep family involved Invite to school activitiesVariety of formal and informal communicationCommunicate with both parents
Accommodations: Classroom and School Support
Create a warm, but structured, school and classroom environmentClear limits and routinesAtmosphere that welcomes all family types
Include all adults that play a role in the child’s lifeCurriculum materials that portray different types of
families positively Peer Mentors
Accommodations: What the Teacher Can Do
Act as a role model Children’s behavior and play give clues to the the struggle
within
Make observations of the child’s attitude and behavior
Provide a Supportive Role: Maintaining consistency and discipline Make children feel competent Listen to the child’s point of view Being an Advocate for the child Reach out to the parents Individualized Learning that integrates support Suggest professional guidance
Accommodations: What the Teacher Can DoIncorporate Activities that:
Encourage understanding of different family typesHelp children communicate about their families Increase self-esteemHelp children appropriate express their feelingsSupport positive parent-child relationships
Accommodations: Activities
Drawing Pictures Many children have difficulty expressing their emotions in
words Family, feelings, Genie Wish
Conversation Starters Questions
Letter Writing To one or both parents about how he/she feels about divorce
Reading children’s books Relatable characters
Writing Stories
Books for Dealing With Divorce, Separations, Loss, or Blended
Families
For Better, For Worse: A Guide to Surviving Divorce for Preteens and Their Families, by Janet Bode and Stan Mack
Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families, by Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
Mom’s House/Dad’s House for Kids, by Isolina Ricci
A Smart Girl’s Guide to her Parent’s Divorce: How to Land on Your Feet When Your World Turns Upside Down, by Nancy Holyoke
Walk Two Moons, by Sharon Creech
Amber Brown: I, Amber Brown, by Paula Danziger
Peak, by Roland Smith
The Babysitter’s Club: Stacey’s Choice, by Ann M. Martin
Resources Bender, A. & Coleman, M. (2011). Children of divorce. Scholastic, Inc.
Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4424
Civitci, N., Civitci, A., and Fiyakali, N. C. (2009). Loneliness and life satisfaction in adolescents with divorced and non-divorced parents. Educational Sciences: Theory and Practice, 9(2), 513-525. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 847764)
Courtney, A. (2005). Teaching relaxation skills in physical education. Teaching Elementary Physical Education, 16(3), 34-35. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 733993)
Divorce and children: a collaboration of parents and teachers. Our Children (1999). Retrieved from: http://childrenanddivorce.bizland.com/rfep/id8.html
Halpenny, A. M., Greene, S., & Hogan, D. (2008). Children’s perspectives on coping and support following parental separation. Child Care in Practice, 14(3), 311-325. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 811207)
Haugen, G. M. D. (2010). Children’s perspectives on everyday experiences of shared residence: Time, emotions, and agency dilemmas. Children & Society, 24(2), 112-122. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 871852)
Resources KidsHealth. (2011). KidsHealth: Dealing with divorce. Nemours
Foundation. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/divorce.html
Leigh, S., & Clark, J.A. (2000) Activities for helping children deal with divorce. University of Missouri Extension. MU Extension: Columbia, MO. Retrieved from: http://extension.missouri.edu/explorepdf/hesguide/humanrel/gh6602.pdf
Leon, K., & Spengler, L. (2005). Helping children adjust to divorce: A guide for teachers. University of Missouri Extension. MU Extension: Columbia, MO. Retrieved from: http://extension.missouri.edu/p/GH6611
Lowe, D. F. (2009). Helping children cope through literature. Forum on Public Policy Online, 1, 1-17. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://forumonpublicpolicy.com/spring09papers/archivespr09/lowe.pdf
Resources Mayseless, O., Bartholomew, K., Henderson, A., & Trinke, S. (2004). “I
was more her mom than she was mine:” Role reversal in a community sample. Family Relations, 53(1), 78-86. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://www.sfu.ca/psyc/faculty/bartholomew/otherpub_files/ofra.pdf
Oesterreich, L. (1996). Divorce matters: Talking with your child’s other parent. Iowa State University Cooperative Extension. Retrieved September 26, 2011 from http://www.extension.iastate.edu/Publications/PM1640.pdf
Wood, J. J., Repetti, R. L., & Roesch, S. C. (2004). Divorce and children’s adjustment problems at home and school: The role of depressive/withdrawn parenting. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 35(2), 121-142. (ERIC Document Reproduction Service No. EJ 732179)
What schools are doing to help children of divorce. Young Children: The Journal of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (2000). Retrieved from: http://childrenanddivorce.bizland.com/rfep/id1.html
Image Resources http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/images/
http://www.shutterstock.com/index-in.mhtml
http://www.123rf.com/
http://www.google.com/search?q=divorce&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&prmd=imvnslb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&ei=VQWJTu-2M9Sgtgeg76hB&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CGMQ_AUoAQ&biw=1438&bih=683