Banger Banter 2nd Quarter 2010

MY RUGBY LIFE FIVE MINUTES

BANGER ANCIENTSPhotos Essay : 15 minutes of fame at Bangkok Inter-national Tens

CAPTAINS DINNERImages from the recent Captains Dinner at theSheraton Grande Sukhumvit

Exciting Dutch born playmaker with all the goods

Banger Banter APRIL - JUNE 2010

“You Will Always Be A Banger”

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5 TatesBlog from Andrew Tatam our new club captain.

6 Peter BurgessThe club coach writes - YOU READ OK.

7 The Ancient QuillWrap up on Ancients exhibition match at Bangkok Tens.

16 Fifteen Minutes Of FamePhoto essay on the recent Ancient exhibition match.

17 StrewthAn Australian perspective on rugby.

18 From Tuk Tuk to Tut TutTom Kerr on assignment in Egypt.

19 Captains DinnerPictorial from Captains Dinner, Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit.

20 The Grumpy BangerThe way rugby use to be.

21 Geoff the JeffLow fat diets. A thoughtful insight.

22 The Wall of KnowledgeOld Bangers and motorbikes. Is it pre/post male menopause?

24 ClubhouseSocial gossip from the proprietor of Wall Street.

27 The Healthy BangerGetting over rugby injuries.

28 Banger HumourA little humour to brighten your day.

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April - July 2010

4Banger Banter APRIL - JUNE 2010


EDITORIAL : Roberto Gullio Andrew Tatam, Peter Burgess, Rick O”Shea, Geoff McKenna, Grahame Fox, Mike Laloli, Tom Kerr

CONTRIBUTORS : Brian Sinclair-Thompson, Christo Lemmers, Jacque Boshoff

PHOTOGRAPHY : Johnn Jaspers, Robert Brewer

PROOF READER : Roger Fitzgerald

WEBMASTER : Jason Manning

BANGER BANTER is published quarterly by the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club for members, sponsors and friends of the rugby club. The Banger Banter is downloadable from the club web site. Members contribute all editorial and photography. The layout and design is provided by Ruck Graphics - a member of the Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Club

ongratulations this quarter, must go to Eddie Evans and his team for the success of the recent 2010 Bangkok International Tens. The event has really matured into a well organized and highly regarded

regional rugby festival. The beer garden was centre of activity during the weekend as it should be. This year it really worked. Andrew McDowell had the place humming with his team of Tiger Beer girls

Just listening to comments from the visiting players I spoke too, would suggest they were more than happy with the two days of footy and ex-pressed real interest in coming back next year.

Both the Colts and the Veterans toiled all weekend however no major silverware. Although the Vets came close. This tournament has become increasingly competitive. Building teams to compete is always going to be a club challenge.

The Banger Ancients exhibition match late on the Sunday afternoon, went down well with the punters, even rating a few lines of copy in the Bangkok Post newspaper. Grahame Fox, put a lot of effort into arranging this and deserves a pat on the back.

There is definitely a market out there, for the Banger brand of veterans rugby. Other tournaments in the region, are keen to have The Ancients display their range of old world rugby skills, later this year.

A new committee was elected at the recent AGM, with a couple of key changes. Andrew McDowell is back as club chairman. The affable and dedicated club captain Jeff, has moved on, after three great years and Andrew Tatam the former Colts captain, has stepped up to fill his shoes.

Roberto Guolo was appointed the new Colts captain. A popular choice. The lads have ditched their dog eared Fodor “French in 24 Hours” and have recently en masse, purchased the latest Lonely Planet “Italian in 24 hours”.

Finally, the popular Banger expat rugby referee Dave Smith, is moving on. His next post is Istanbul. He will be missed. Always enjoyed read-ing what he had to say in his quarterly columns. Best of luck Dave and thanks for your support.

The Banter is looking for a couple of new columnists. If you think you can make a value added contribution to our club newsletter, please contact me. Mike



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reetings to all in our rich and diverse Old Bangkok Banger com-munity. As you already be aware from my piece I am no longer Jeff or French!

I am delighted to have been appointed in my new role of Club Cap-tain and look forward to following on from our very own little Buddha/Napoleon who must be congratulated from the rafters for the stirling work that he has done during the past two years.

For those who don’t know me I have been involved with the club since my arrival in July 2006 and from the following AGM I have been proud to be the Colts Captain.

Age has since crept up upon me and as a fully fledged Vet I am delighted to be handing the reigns of a vibrant Colts section over to our very own Italian Stallion, Roberto Guilo, who already has some forward thinking ideas in mind.

The Club continues to go from strength to strength and each year that passes sees more people drawn to our uncomplicated mantra of fun, friendship and fraternity which is some-thing that I am determined to maintain.

Our Colts section has a bigger playing pool than ever before and our Vets continue to compete for silverware whenever asked to rise to the challenge.

An extremely important addition to the established arms of the club are the “new” Ancients side ably led by our very own fossil of Grahame “Soi Dog” Fox. I am sure will continue to grow and get even older this seasonated.

I will not be a new Jeffrey and will be relying on members of the club to help out in a variety of roles during the year both from within and outside of our new committee. I look forward to us all growing together.

One of my main aims for the year is to ensure that all members of the club continue to feel valued and able to support and appreciate the work of everybody else whenever such opportunities arise.

Bangers, one and all let’s raise a glass to fine and fruity new season with our own glorious Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club.

A couple of story tellers wanted

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Just four times a year - not a big ask



e are well into the New Year the numbers at training have been steady averaging 20-25 & reaching 35-40 (our usual peak) before tournaments.

The opening event was the Bangkok 10’s, yet again Eddie & his crew put on a fantas-tic weekend of rugby which culminated in some classic close fought matches on the final Sunday, none closer than our own Old Boys final against the Volcano’s.

We again demonstrated our prowess on the field with another “Super Saturday” followed by lack luster Sunday? I believe our re-hydration program on Saturday night needs to re-evaluated as “fit for purpose”!

The club was represented in both the open & vets tournament & well supported in The Ancients exhibition game. Congratulations to Foxy & the other more mature members of our club for a memorable experience!

As Coach, I was concerned The Ancients had over-trained & weren’t mentally prepared. I quickly realized nothing could be done as adrenalin & determination would prevail?

Our rugby calendar is becoming surprisingly full. May in par-ticular with the Pattaya & Phuket Rugby Tens plus a match against the Singapore Cricket Club’s rugby team.

Later in the year we have the Thailand Rugby Union (TRU) com-petition followed by matches against other touring teams trying their luck against the Bangers finest!

Remember to play as a team we need to train as a team!

All the best, see you at training!



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he Old Bangkok Bangers Ancients ran out in true style at last months Bangkok International Tens.

Afforded the honour of a Sunday afternoon slot on the main pitch in front of a huge crowd, the Ancients

cantered out onto the field kitted out in ‘turn of last century’ playing gear to the tune of ‘When I’m 64’ by that well known baby boomer band, The Beatles.

It was soon clear these latter day warriors had lost none of their competitive edge, although many had lost hair, muscle tone and the ability to hear!

Slick passing movements never materialized, more than likely the result of their failing eyesight

and a loss of hand/ball eye coordination.Many of the participants were staggered by the extreme length of the pitch and the length of each half - 7 minutes!

The end result was two tries to one by one of the teams - not really sure which one. But who

gives a damn.

Many thanks to all Bangers and others who joined in, to make

it a very enjoyable experience for

players and spec ta to rs

alike.

The success of the Banger Ancients rugby exhibition experiment is becoming clear with the organizers of tour-naments in Pattaya and Phuket asking us if we can trot out on to the field of dreams at their rugby festivals, to weave our silky skills.

Think of us like the RAF Red Arrows or the US Navy Blue Angels aerobatics teams or perhaps even at a stretch, the Harlem Globetrotters.!!!!

We’ll do our best! Thanks go out to Eddie Evans and the Bangkok International Tens organizing committee for giving us this great opportunity to play and highlight that rugby can be for the really old boys too.

Coming up later this year, is the Vintage Rugby Carnival in Cape Town. This will be the tour of a lifetime and you can bring your wife, girlfriend or mia noi if you want. There is still space available. Suggest you phone, email or whatever, Rick O’Shea to secure your spot.

Finally a reminder. You can train on a Sunday if you ever get the urge. You don’t have to put it in like the young guys. Have a light trot and then enjoy a couple of cold beers over at the Red & White.



Jacques Boshoff, former provincial and Currie Cup player brings a wealth of senior rugby experience to the Old Bangkok Bangers

BANTER : Good to catch up. Intended to interview you a few Banters ago. Just never got around it. Lets go back to the beginning. You are from South Africa. Where were you born ?JACK: No problem. Never expected to be interviewed by such a high profile publication. Yes I am proudly South African, born and bred. I was born in one of the eastern sub-urbs of Johannesburg but don’t tell anyone, it is not one of those suburbs you don’t walk around telling people about. Little bit on the rough side

BANTER : They start playing young in the South Africa. How old were you when you started to play and who was your first club ?JACK : Most South African boys start playing rugby at school level. I started playing when I was 5 years old. How-ever at that age rugby was not my first choice sport. I also started amateur wrestling at that age and that was where my interest lied. Later on I would realize just how much my wresting days helped me in rugby.

BANTER : Do you have fond memories of those days ?JACK : I think the best thing about rugby at that age is the fun element. I can still remember the excitement of getting your jersey the day before a game and then not being able top sleep just clutching the jersey right trough the night.

BANTER : As I understand it your talent was recognized early and you played schoolboy provincial rugby. Tell us a little about your early rugby experience ?JACK : I unfortunately never played provincial rugby at school level. I was elected a few times to play final trail games but had to withdraw as it clashed with wrestling for which at that stage I already had provincial colors and was wrestling for a spot in the SA team. My folks at the time thought that I might have a better future in wrestling. It was not until I left school that I made the final switch to rugby.

BANTER : Over time you graduated to play with the big boys. Who where some of the well known names you played with for and against ?JACK : Guys that I played with were Marius Hurter (SA Prop), Andre Venter (SA Flank forward), Richard Bands (SA Prop), Tinus Delport (SA Fullback), AD Jacobs (SA and Sharks Centre) and the late Etiene Botha (Bulls Centre unlucky not to make the Springbok team)

BANTER : The Currie Cup is a tough competition. How did you find it ?JACK : Extremely fast, even if it does not look like that on TV. Everything just happens so much faster, there is no



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place to hide. Now with the professional era it is even tougher, you can feel the difference playing against full time professionals, they are just harder, stronger and in some cases faster. That is why only a small percentage of players make it to full professional status. The game has changed so much that if you have not played pro-vincial by the time you are 22/23 years old it is almost too late to think of a career as a professional rugby player

BANTER : What is your best sporting moments on the field at that stage of your career?JACK : Just getting through each game not too badly broken.

BANTER : You are from the amateur era when loyalty was more important than money. Is there still place for that type and kind of loyalty in rugby ?JACK : Obviously since the game has turned professional things have changed, but remember most guys play rugby because they love the game not because they could not find a job and decided to take up rugby. Also most unions just don’t have the finances to contract all players as full time professionals which means that there are still a number of players that play on a semi professional or amateur basis. One part of the loyalty aspect that has changed is the loyalty towards a union, in the professional era you will find that players tend to move from one union to another, depending on where they can find the best contract which is understandable as it is a job.

BANTER : How would you stack up if you ever had the opportunity to play Super 14 ?JACK : Difficult to answer. Today’s players train three times a day 5 days a week so these guys are just on a whole new level of physi-cal and mental conditioning.

BANTER : How old were you when Nelson Mandela was elected president ?JACK : I was 23 years old.

BANTER : What do you remember about this time and how did those close to you respond to Mandela’s election ?JACK : At that time I was in the military and Mandela and the ANC (African National Congress) was still seen as the enemy. I remember we were dodging bullets and petrol bombs in the town-ships as South Africa was plagued by political unrest, and not the peaceful type you get here in Thailand. Obviously 90% of South Africans were happy with this new democracy while others were filled with fear expecting a full blown civil war to break out. This never hap-pened, well not yet anyway. Needless to say I left the defense force (6 years service) straight after the elections; it was a bit difficult to serve with loyalty under a government that was previously your enemy and also the border war was over so there was not much left to fight for.

BANTER : Where were you on that famous day in 1995 when the Springbok beat the All Blacks in the World Cup.? JACK : Some of the guys got together to watch the closing ceremony and the game. Cannot remember the rest though. It is still all a little bit of a blur to me.

BANTER : What do think of the current Springbok side ?JACK : I think the results speak for themselves. Lion series winners, Tri Na-

“Obviously since the game has turned professional things have changed, but remember most guys play rugby because they love the game not because they could not find a job and de-

cided to take up rugby.”



tions winner, for those who don’t know we beat the All Black 3 times in a row during this series.

BANTER : Moving on. You ar-rived in Bangkok. How did you end up playing with the Bangers ?JACK : Through a friend of a friend who knows Eddie Evans

BANTER : Can’t help noticing you make thing happen when-ever you are on the paddock. That long pass gives your inside backs all the time in world to plan their moves. Did that come naturally or did you have to work on it ? JACK : Thanks I think you are the only one noticing it. In South Africa the 1st thing a half back is measured on, in those days any-way, were the length and accu-racy of your pass. I spent many, many hours passing building bricks through hoops. This obvi-

ously helped with the length and accuracy. BANTER : Have you always played half back ?JACK : No in my younger years I played wing.

BANTER : Are you enjoying your rugby in Bangkok ?JACK: Let me put it like this, I enjoy rugby with the Bangers. When you play competitive rugby you have all this pressure, but playing for the Bangers there is no pressure. You don’t need to prove yourself you just need to pitch up. So rugby becomes fun again. Don’t get me wrong it is still competitive. It is not always easy trying to mix it with the younger guys, but that is what makes it so enjoyable.

Banter: What is it about rugby that unites people ?JACK : I think it is the spirit in which the game is played. Get stuck into each other and then have a beer to-gether and laugh about it afterwards. This is what I thought before I started playing with the Bangers, now I think it is just the beer.

Banter: You keep very fit so presumably you will keep on playing for while yet ?JACK : I was thinking I would, but the rate I am picking up injuries lately has force me to reconsider.

BANTER : What are you other interests outside of rugby?JACK : No it is just rugby. What other interest could there possible be outside of Rugby, especially in Bangkok

BANTER : Jack, thanks for you time. Appreciate it



was born in Haarlem, The Netherlands. In 1974 I was about 14, I was livin in a town called Castricum in North Holland they had a pretty

decent local rugby club called CAS RC. The club has existed for 40 years starting out as a social club just like the Bangers.

Rugby is really minor game in my country, I believe there is now 100 odd clubs in the Netherlands, however there is only around 6000 playing members in a nation of 16 million.

The Castricum club, CAS RC, was doing well in the local community and had won a couple of national championships, At the time I was looking for an-other sport to play and my parents mentioned rugby to me. It was time to toughen up a bit. My arms were

too short for boxing and the ice hockey rink was too far away. In my youth I dabbled with soccer, and did a pretty mean parallel bar in gymnastics. Moving on, I went down to the club one day and instantly made some new friends and the rest is history.

The club had a couple of great coaches in Hans Marcker another of the famous rugby playing Marcker brothers and Ben Manshanden the former national team coach. They introduced me to the fundamentals of the game.

From then, I never wanted to do anything else. During my junior career, I qualified and played with the Under 18 Dutch national squad for two years which a source of immense pride.

I had a number of favorite players growing up At my own club it was Mats Marcker the former Dutch inter-national scrum half and captain.

At an international level I was exposed to what was then the five nations and of course the World Cup but I was somewhat limited in my choices.

Having said that, from the southern hemisphere I really liked Tim Horan’s style of play and from the northern hemisphere the white-haired flanker from Scotland, John Jeffrey springs to mind. He was an animal and a really aggressive tackler.

As I can remember, we always had a few expats playing with the club. Some were passing through other stayed and become Dutch citizens. I guess the club management realized the benefit of having a few



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imported players on board. They attracted mainly Aussies, Jappies or Kiwi players, giving them housing and a job and have them train and play with our club.

I love playing in the centres, puts you close to the action and being able to break the line with a move is fantastic. I’ve played every position in the line and even been a flanker and second rower once, but I think the centres is a great combina-tion of getting physical with your opponent and having space to have a run.

How would I describe my game? Well for starters, I cannot kick to save my life, however I have got some pace, and I really like to tackle. One of the things I like about rugby, when you step onto the field you’re willing to put your body on the line for each other and back each other up all the way. I just try to do my part.

The Netherlands is a popular end of season touring destination for United Kingdom clubs. Must be the weath-er and our food.. or the dutch liberal thinking that opens up a lot of possibilities for a club on tour.

There’s a popular tournament in May called the Heineken Sevens that attract many over-seas teams. It takes the visiting players little time to make a bee line for the red light district after the days rugby activity.



My association with the Bangers happened in a funny way. When I arrived in Bangkok I was unaware of rugby scene. One Sunday I was invited to play a softball game at the Polo club, I was warming up my shoulders before batting and this guy that was playing too saw me. We got talking and he asked me if I played rugby. After the softball, he was going out to Bangers practice at Patana and asked me if he could give me a ride. I was already wearing my cleats and I thought “why not?”

I have really enjoyed my rugby in Bangkok. The Bangers are an excellent bunch of guys who make you feel part of a family. It’s always great to go on tour to one of the regional tournaments with the guys.

My wife Lieke is fantastic, she’s my number one fan and has al-ways given me a tremendous amount of support. I feel very lucky that she is into rugby so much, that she likes to see our games and enjoys having a drink with the guys afterwards. Wouldn’t have worked out if the Bangers were a bunch of pricks, of course.

My other interests outside of rugby include travelling, good times with good people? Cant go wrong with that.

Finally I cannot help but noticing that one my countries chief ex-ports, Heineken beer, is popular with the Bangers. You only have to count the bottles after a training session on a Sunday to observe that.

Keep it up fellas you are doing my country proud. It is so bloody hot here and we all need to re hydrate after a game. I suppose it might as well be Heineken.



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Where were born ?Hastings, Hawkes Bay, New Zealand. Grew up on an orchard which is now a vineyard producing some great pinot noir.The name of your first clubHaumoana School 15. Thirteen Maoris and two pak-ehasDid you ever play first grade rugby?No. Made it to Napier Junior Grade and the Air New Zealand side in the Wellington Mercantile League.What is your club nickname?BST or Hollywood (for Jake’s sake)Where do you call home?Bangkok with NZ roots (actually her name’s Liz)Five words that describe you.?Passionate, compulsive, energetic, enthusiastic, reflec-tive.Whats is a phrase you use often.?I promise I’ll be home before midnight.Are you superstitious?Not especially but 4’s my lucky number.What’s your favourite music?Reggae’s got soul man and rock the boat. What is the most surprising thing ever to happen to you ?Marrying my wife and having two great kids.Whats a common misconceptions people have of you ?That I like to go out.Whats your ideal night out ?.A candle lit dinner for two with the wife at the table op-posite the Bangers Captains Dinner.In a nutshell, what is philosophy of life ?.Work hard to play harder and have a “can do” attitude.After a busy day what would be the perfect way to relax ?A night packing as many bars, clubs and restaurants as possible.What motivates you to be focused and driven The need to feed and educate a family.What's your favourite food?I guess I’m a gourmet of many tastes except for those chickens’ feet.What is your greatest talent or party trick?Networking people and remembering the odd one liner.What do think of the new Banger AncientsA great addition to the Club’s repertoire of a game for all comers but we need a ref that CAN’T keep up with the play – Grant.

Comedy or action ?Lights, camera, action. Now make me laugh.Books or films?Love the film but the book is always betterBeer or spirits?Both. In moderation of course. Fast food or health eating? Health every timeNight in or night out?In, out and round about. Where next?McDonald's, Burger King or Thai street food?Thai street foodBon Jovi or U2 ?U2Heineken or Singha ? HeinekenBlonde or Brunette?Blondes definitely have MORE fun

Best airlineSwiss of course.ReligionCatholic Priests who are always in the shit.SexWhat’s on the other channel?Reality TVPlumbing the depths of content depravityRed ShirtsMao and Taksin both got it wrong All BlacksOnly as good as their last game. Perfection is elusive

FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND

QUICK FIRE





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ow that Douggie has taken a sabbatical from writing a column for the Banter, I have stepped up and to offer an insightful Australian perspective on the game we love.

Where do I start...... Well for starters, I don’t sit on the Wall of Knowledge, preferring to sit at the bar. I am there to watch the rugby, with neither the time or inclination to engage in Wall conversational gymnastics.

How about the Bangers Captains Dinner? A great night out. It gets better every year. The MC’s really have the measure of their audience The dinner song this year, mangled the Beach boy classic “Kokomo” with rewritten lyrics involving bikinis, pubic hair and camel toes. It was very funny. After the tenth rendition late in the evening the choirmaster had the boys sounding like a Welsh Male Voice Choir. Sorta...............

Lets hear it for the Waratahs. They certainly know the meaning of winning ugly. Not a lot of bonus points here.Still a win is a win. The other Oz Super 14 team I like this year are the Reds. What a change from recent years.Not sure what is really going down Melbourne with the new franchise. Seems like they hiring from around the world. A southern hemisphere Chelsea !!!! Moving on. Since we pinched Robbie Deans from the Crusaders, the Wallabies are starting to show some form again. One exciting move he has made is the introduction of younger players in the squad. It would seem a few of the older players have their noise out of joint however, I am one that thinks Robbie’s made a brave call. “Aussie Robbie” will have the boys humming come the World Cup next year. Notice, I never mentioned this years Tri-Nations. The Wallabies are still work in progress

I picked up a bootleg copy of the movie “Invictus” a couple of weeks ago. Its OK but a little loose with the truth. No mentioned of food poisoning, the waitress or the All Black great Jonah Lomu. A feel good movie for its in-tended American audience. See ya next quarter.



suppose I better explain the title of this article. You well remember that I spent many years in the big

Mango (Bangkok) and of course I’m very familiar with that masochistic form of time travel called the Tuk Tuk.

You don’t actually travel in time but you sure feel that you’ve aged a few years once you actually get off one, or is that, get off in one.

Well I’ve since moved from Tuk Tuks in Thailand, to chapatti charabangs (Indian taxi drivers in KL - the worst taxi service in the world) and now find myself in Cairo, Egypt. The land of King Tutankhamum – Tut for short. Get it forwards? Now what’s all this got to do with rugby? Well you’d be surprised. Dear

old Tutty was dug out of his tomb by grave robbers (better known as ‘British archaeologists’) led by the intrepid Walter Carter. Before you Kiwis get carried away he was no relation of Danielle Carter the All Black. However it was a Frenchman who was the first to translate hieroglyphics – but it was into French which is even harder to understand. As you can see from my work of art below the hieroglyph form for the word ‘mouth’ is actually a rugby ball and it represents the letter R. Again, you forwards , the letter R is the first letter of the word RUGBY.

Literally translated it means – FOOT, VULTURE, RIPPLE OF WATER, STAND, REED, MOUTH, FOLDED CLOTH.

Don’t ask me to work that one out . Still a lot easier than French.

That’s not the full extent of my hieroglyphical prowess (as I’ve had a few mummys in my time). The entrance to Cleopatra’s tomb displays some glyphs which show how the poor queen met her untimely death. It wasn’t an asp as Mr. Shakespeare wrote. She seems to have died because of the too much Nefertiti nooky.

B A N G E R S



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SHERATON GRANDE SUKHUMVIT. - 02 April 2010



THE GRUMPY BANGER

or centuries rugby furiously defending the amateur ethos of the game. Then a the flick of a switch the powers-that-be on the IRB at

the time suddenly announced that the game was to be an opened one. For many grumpies that seems like yesterday but for thousands of players and sup-porters they have never known anything else.

Although the announcement itself was sudden it had been coming for a number of years. There was also a fair bit of snobbery about the sport All that old nonsense has been swept away and most would agree that this was not before time. But other things have also gone out in the wash.

When I was a player, a man joined a club and, unless he left the area altogether, going to an-other club was almost unthinkable. If a player was dropped from the first team he played cheerfully for the second team or indeed the third team.

It never crossed your mind to throw a wobbly. You just stuck with your mates and tried to win your place back. The 'easy come-easy go' approach also meant that players could come into a side to make up the numbers without worrying about regis-tration.

When was the last time you wrote a letter or re-member picking up the phone and talking instead of tweeting, twitting or twatting? What was wrong with rucking and the three point try? Why can’t a winger throw the ball into the lineout these days? Why is hair gel now more important to rugby players than liniment? I’m getting grumpier by the minute. I tell ya

So, I go to the rugby. Why is it I’m stuck sitting next to some expat I don’t even know, wearing the local jersey supporting the opposition? Beam me me up Scotty......please.

Another thing that gets on my nerves is the ground announcer . Firstly, why is he so f*ckin loud? Then there is the music I want to hear the old 60’s and 70’s rock anthems not Regurgitate or Wolffather.

And why does the announcer have to tell us the

reason a penalty is awarded each time? My guess is to inform the 10% of ‘Hooray Henry’s’ ensconced in the corporate boxes on the piss, that they should feel guilty they know jack-shit about what’s going on

Getting into the ground used to be a walk in the park, but in ‘the war on terror’ times have changed. Some security goon thinks I’m Osama bin Laden and wants to feel me up and pat me down at the entrance. No doubt looking for contraband – a ham and tomato sandwich. ”Sorry sir, but you’re not allowed to bring your own food into the ground, it poses a security risk and contravenes our house policy... meaning we can charge you a small fortune for the food inside.

Isn’t it bloody irritating that you’ve got to mortgage your house, to buy luke warm beer and mediocre food, Not forgetting that the oil they cooked the chips in was the same crap they used at the last game.

Why is it that rugby players have all got to have tattoos now? When I was a boy a tattoo was something that sailors used to get because they were tough, not ‘faux tough’. You notice it’s mainly backs that have them now.

How many substitutes are on the bench these days? Twenty, thirty or more. I remember when players got injured they weren’t replaced, so they stayed on as long as they could. I could go on

Grumpy? Me? My oath.

For Veterans & Ancients ONLY - Cause They Will Understand



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ack in the late 70’s a US Senate committee re-port advised that a low fat policy was the best way to reduce heart disease in the US.

Since then, costly research programmes have been carried out to prove the low fat theory even though many good, large scale studies are in direct conflict with the theory.

Strangely enough, in the late 80’s, the US Surgeon Generals office began a study to establish all the facts as evidence to the link between low fat and re-duced heart disease. To this day it has never been published.

In 2000, a group of scientists call-ing themselves the Cochrane Collaboration analysed about 25 of the most rigorously con-trolled studies involving more than 18,000 people and found that diets low in saturated fats had no

significant effect on the death rate due to heart at-tacks.

A couple of years later the Women’s Health Initia-tive released results of a trial carried out over 8 years involving some 20,000 women which found that a diet low in fat and saturated fat had no impact in reducing heart disease or weight.

So where does that leave us? Personally, I have no idea. If these experts can’t sort it out there’s not much help for anybody. The low fat policy became official in the US in the early 80’s, closely followed by the UK however, whilst these people have been eating less fat than ever before, they are also fatter than ever before and the rate of diabetes is at an all time high.

Saturated fats are not bad things, they play a very important role in our physiology. They help our bod-ies to absorb vitamins, they are vital to our immune

system and help fight off bacterial infections.

For so many years, the fat-is-bad champions have ig-nored experts such as Dr Robert Atkins who pointed out the role of carbo-hydrates in weight gain and damage to arteries, especially refined carbohy-drates. It is possible to eat an officially “healthy, balanced diet” and have the equivalent of 60 teaspoons of sugar a day because all carbohydrates are turned into blood sugar and this diet encourages you to have a lot of them.

Regularly raising your blood sugar in this way is dan-gerous because it increases the amount of insulin your body produces to clear it away. Not only does insulin lead to excess sugar being stored as saturated fat, but increased amounts of insulin can have a number of harmful effects, such as raising cholesterol, blood pres-sure and damaging the lining of arteries.

Studies are already suggesting that this could be a more accurate picture of what is going on than the low fat model. One was published a couple of years ago. It compared the effects of a high-fat and low-fat diet on fats in the blood (triglycerides). Those in the high-fat group had better cholesterol level triglycerides lowered by 51%, verses 19%.

The simplistic idea that eating a low fat diet would help with weight loss because it contains fewer calories doesn’t begin to describe the complexities of weight control.

I for one, will happily continue with my Fish & Chips and all those other goodies we are told that are not good for us.



The Wall of Knowledge has seen some characters come and go over the years. However, nothing much changed. The old brigade still cling to Wall

of Knowledge mantra, that the wall is their fiefdom. The young Bangers have to be satisfied with lurking around the fringes of the august bench. This can often mean you are three tables away and not even in listening distance of a good discussion. While this tradition sticks, others have been adapted to suit the aging baby boomers.

Many are now approaching their fifties and sixties. Pre and post male menopause has kicked in. What goes with this symptom or symptoms? Big motorbikes springs to mind. The Wall of Knowledge silver hair brigade are into

motorbikes in a big way. We are not talking about your off the shelf two wheeler here, but serious toys that have real muscle. Harley Da-vidson, Ducati Triumph, Yamaha, Honda, Suzuki, Kawasaki, BMW, Benelli, cruisers, fatboys, choppers, hogs and whatever......

Every year, these ancient warriors hit the road for a run around Thai-land, finally descending on the Hell Fire Pass, -The Death Railway -, in Kanchanaburi for the Dawn Service.

They talk about the ride for weeks before and then you hear about it for weeks after on the Wall of Knowledge. The rugby on the box is inconsequential. These guys not letting go of their youth so easily. In fact there are lots of professional men in the crowd and they strike more as grey haired rockers who still love Clapton, the Stones, and Zepplin, more than grey haired men in rockers mellowing out to Johnny Mathis.

Clad in Levi’s, T shirts and motorcycle boots with bandanas tied around their heads, they swaggered around with the confidence of men who have been places, fought real battles, and perhaps even lost their shirts only to

earn them back. Better health care, better diets, better exercise regimes, and maybe just the knowledge that there’s always Viagra, has helped them hang on to their vitality. it is as a sublime mixture of exhilaration and relaxation.

On there return to Bangkok they do get a bit of help though. A quick call to the Royal Thai Police, Motorbike Division hand over of some Thai purple bills and voila, the boys have a VIP police escort from the city fringes to the Wall Street Bar & Grill. Our silvertails have an aver-sion to traffic lights. Its the rebel in em.



Clubhouse Rick O’Shea

nce again the Bangers Old Boys have distin-guished themselves. At the recent Bangkok Inter-national Tens they finished second to the Manila

Extinct Volcanoes who seem to have our measure in the second encounter on the Sunday. We lead until the last few minutes. This was one that just got away.

One of the highlight of the tournament had to be when the Banger Ancients ran out on to the pitch on the Sun-day afternoon and played their brand of vintage rugby in an exhibition match. Good fun and enjoyed by the sizeable crowd.

The Brunei Kukris team in Bangkok for the tournament, made Wall Street their home during their stay. They were a great bunch of guys. Really enjoyed hosting them. The team is made up of British Gurkhas on a cushy posting looking after the Sultan of Brunei.

Wall Street had a flying visit from one of the original Old Bangkok Bangers, Peter “Bodie” Bowden en route to the Manila 10’s. As usual, after a few beers he sang and entertained with a brace of opera arias. He timed it just right. It was Saint Patrick’s Day.

There was a good turnout at the recent Banger Annual General Meeting. Andrew McDowell was relected again as President and Grahame Fox and Roberto Guolo have taken senior roles in captaining the Ancients and Colts teams.

The recent Captain’s Dinner at the Sheraton Grande was a great evening, well orchestrated by Andrew Tatam, Bob Pearson, and Jean Francois “Jeff” Klentzi. We should not forget Douggie, who managed the eve-ning quietly in the background.

The Super 14 competition has reached the half way stage and its panic stations for four of the five New Zea-land teams. Losses by the Chiefs and Hurricanes over the next few weeks will see them out of the competition.

The Bulls were dominating the competition however were upset last weekend by the Blues. The Waratah’s are a real surprise and are currently top of the ladder.

The Six Nations rugby was entertaining this year. There were a couple of upsets both involving Scotland. They lost to Italy and then turned it around with a victory of Ireland. France were just too good for the rest and look good for next years World Cup. Not sure about Eng-land.

The Banger Ancients are touring again. We are going to the Vintage Rugby Carnival in Cape Town, South Africa in August. Anybody interested in this trip of a lifetime please contact me. NOW



27

ANKLE SPRAINWhat It is: a swollen, bruised and very sore outer ankle, as a result of damage to the outer ligaments.How to treat it: if you’re hit with bone tenderness or difficulty bearing weight immediately after sustaining an injury, RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation) should reduce swelling and further bleeding within the ankle that causes the pain. As the ankle heals, physiotherapy and chiro-practics can help stop long-term joint stiffness, whilst you can strengthen the ligaments with swimming and by balancing on one foot. Perhaps use a wobble board the make the physio more interesting.

LOWER BACK STRAINWhat It Is: overstretched or torn muscle fibres or locked joints in the lower back, causing aches, pain and spasms. How To Treat It: if pain persists for more than a fortnight, see your GP; most back pain will subside uneventfully in a week or two. If this is the case, then start working on exercises that improve strength in the lower back, abs and stretch the hamstrings. T If you’re still aching after a week of targeted exercises, go to a physio, osteo-path or a chiropractor, depending on your symptoms. The difference between the three practitioners is: osteopaths can use a combination of conventional medical or surgical, pharmaceutical and physical therapy. Chiropractors use primarily spinal manipula-tion. Physiotherapists generally use exercises and other physical treatments

RUNNER’S KNEEWhat It Is: Inflammation in the back of the kneecap resulting in pain and/or grating in the knee. There are a plethora of possible contributing factors, These could include nerve swelling, kneecap misalignment, thigh muscle imbalance, flattening of the foot arch and core instability. The most likely cause for the damage, however, is overuse – often due to running in insubstantial or old footwear.” So now there’s no excuse for running in trainers that could prob-ably get up and walk themselves.How To Treat It: RICE and anti-inflammatory medication should reduce the swelling and alleviate the pain. Choosing supportive, well padded trainers and running on softer surfaces, or building some gentle cycling into your routine may stop future attacks. If pain persists then see a physio for exercises and/or a podiatrist for shoe inserts that help correct foot and leg alignment.

SHOULDER IMPINGEMENTWhat It Is: Damage to the rotator cuff (the muscles and tendons that stabilise the shoulder) and associated pain, weakness, and loss of movement in the shoulder.How To Treat It: Resting and reducing inflammation with ice and anti inflammatory drugs is the first step. Follow this with a course of physiotherapy or see a chiropractor to focus on reducing stiffness, improving movement, and correcting any muscle weaknesses. Try scapular stabilising exercises such as Pilates to help improve the position of the shoulder.



A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while? To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situ-ations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!!!"

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.'Top of the mornin' to yer, sir' says the attendant.Tiger nods a quick 'hello' and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.'What are dey den, son?' asks the attendant.'They're called tees' replies Tiger.'Well, what on de good earth are dey for?' inquires the Irishman.'They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving' , says Tiger. 'Feckin Jaysus' , says the Irishman, 'Dem boys at BMW tink of everything!'

A successful gynecologist decides to fulfill his life's dream: give up medical prac-tice and become a motorcycle mechanic. So he gets out of the medical business and enrolls at a mechanic's seminar with Harley Davidson. After many weeks of training comes the final examination, taking apart and then re-assembling a randomly chosen Harley engine. He grabs his tools and sets to work, but soon he gets worried: while he is still working on the valve-covers, everybody else is already busy with removing the cylinder heads. He falls more and more behind, and as he is just starting to put it all back together, everybody else is already finished. He manages to put the engine back together, barely in time before the exam ends. Because it took him so much longer than everybody else, he goes straight to the teacher to ask how he performed. "Well," the teacher says, "out of one hundred possible points you scored 150." "But how is that possible?" the ex-gynecologist asks. "Well, it breaks down to this: You get fifty points for correctly taking the engine apart. And you get another fifty points for putting it back together perfectly." "And what did I get those additional fifty points for?" "For doing it all through the exhaust."

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk.About an hour, later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks."Same time as before - noon," replies the clerk.Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you.""No! I don't wanna git in, ah wanna git OUT!"

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Banger Banter 2nd Quarter 2010

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