BCom (Business Management)
SELF, OTHERS AND SOCIAL CONTEXT Article
THE SIX SECONDS EQ MODEL
Joshua Freedman | Jan 27, 2010
The Six Seconds model turns emotional intelligence theory into practice for your personal and
professional life.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to blend thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions
— which is key to having a successful relationship with yourself and others. To provide a
practical and simple way to learn and practice emotional intelligence, Six Seconds developed a
three-part model in 1997 as a process – an action plan for using emotional intelligence in daily
life.
This model of EQ-in-Action begins with three important pursuits: to become more aware
(noticing what you do), more intentional (doing what you mean), and more purposeful (doing it
for a reason).
Know Yourself
Clearly seeing what you feel and do.
Emotions are data, and these competencies allow
you to accurately collect that information.
Choose Yourself
Doing what you mean to do.
Instead of react ing “on autopi lot ,” these
competencies allow you to proactively respond.
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Emotional Intelligence (EI)
THE SIX SECONDS EQ MODEL
The Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence
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Give Yourself
Doing it for a reason.
These competencies help you put your vision and mission into action so you lead on purpose
and with full integrity.
Know Yourself gives you the “what” – when you Know Yourself, you know your strengths and
challenges, you know what you are doing, what you want, and what to change.
Choose Yourself provides the “how” – it shows you how to take action, how to influence
yourself and others, how to “operationalize” these concepts.
Give Yourself delivers the “why” – when you
Give Yourself you are clear and full of energy
so you stay focused why to respond a certain way, why to move in a new direction,
and why others should come on board.
You’ll notice we present the model in a CIRCLE – it’s not a list, it’s a process!
The process works when you spin it, like a propeller moving a ship. As you move
through these three pursuits you gain positive momentum!
Plus, here’s an intro to the model by
Joshua Freedman, our CEO
Eight Competencies of Emotional Intelligence
“Under” the three pursuits live eight specific,
learnable, measurable competencies. They’re
measured through the Six Seconds Emotional
Intelligence Assessment – or SEI. Here are the eight
competencies – with definitions below:
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Six seconds model
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At the core, emotional intelligence is something to BE. By being more emotionally intelligent,
smarter with feelings, you will more accurately recognize emotions in yourself and others. This
data will help you make decisions and craft effective solutions to the “life puzzles” you face
each day. It’s also important to put it in action – hence the verbs. The three pursuits – and the
eight competencies – are actions.
Tips for Emotional Intelligence
To learn more about the model and how to use it:
1. See the links just above-right for each competency, plus…
Pursuit Competency Definition Learn MoreKnow Yourself Enhance Emotional Literacy Accurately identifying and
interpreting both simple
and compound feelings.
Emotional Literacy
Recognize Patterns Acknowledging frequently
recurring reactions and
behaviors
Recognize Patterns
Choose Yourself Apply Consequential Thinking Evaluating the costs and
benefits of your choices
ACT Articles
Navigate Emotions Assessing, harnessing, and
transforming emotions as
a strategic resource.
Navigate Emotions
Articles
Engage Intrinsic Motivation Gaining energy from
personal values &
commitments vs. being
driven by external forces.
Motivation Articles
Exercise Optimism Taking a proactive
perspective of hope and
possibility.
Exercise Optimism
Give Yourself Increase Empathy Recognizing and
appropriately responding
to others’ emotions.
Empathy Articles
Pursue Noble Goals Connecting your daily
choices with your
overarching sense of
purpose.
Noble Goals/Purpose
Articles
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Know Yourself: Tips for Self-Awareness
Choose Yourself: Tips for Choice
Give Yourself: Paradox of Giving
An overview of the model including additional links excerpt from At the Heart of Leadership:
How to Get Results with Emotional Intelligence (this book is an excellent resource for learning
about EQ and the model in leadership)
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Get Started with Emotional Intelligence
Want to learn more about emotions and emotional intelligence?
At Six Seconds, we believe emotions are valuable signals that help us survive and thrive. When
we learn how to use them, emotions help us make more effective decisions, connect with
others, find and follow purpose — and lead a more whole-hearted life.
!
In simple terms, “emotional intelligence” just means being smarter with feelings. It’s about
putting together the rational and emotional so you can move forward effectively.
Emotions are part of human biology, they are chemicals that help regulate our minds and
bodies, assisting us to cope with complexities of making decisions, interacting with people, and
finding our way through life. We feel emotions to help us pay attention, and to focus our
attention. While sometimes they’re confusing, emotions are part of us, so we might as well
learn to use them well. (For more detailed definitions, see links below).
You’ve Got Emotional Intelligence – Use It!
Everyone has some emotional intelligence – here’s how to use yours. Start with these three
steps:
1. Tune in. Notice your feelings and reactions. Get off autopilot. We call this step Know
Yourself
2. Respond. Instead of reacting, give yourself a moment to de-escalate and evaluate options.
This is called Choose Yourself
3. Connect. Remember what’s truly important to you, consider others, and then move forward
with those in mind. This is Give Yourself
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At first glance, it’s really simple, right? Practice by taking a few seconds, a few times a day, to
go through those steps. You can use these three questions:
What am I feeling?
What options do I have?
What do I really want?
Tips for Emotional Intelligence
Doing it consistently is a challenge… and raises the question: What skills can I practice so that I
can do this process more effectively? Through our research and experience, we developed a
set of eight specific, learnable skills that make the process work. Here is a detailed article about
this model including an explantation of the eight competencies, and links for many tips.
KCG-model-clear
Here are a few ideas to get started. First, remember it’s a CYCLE. We might not have the
perfect awareness or identify the exact right choice, but as we go around and around this
process, it gets easier!
Know Yourself:
Everyone has feelings – all the time. What are yours? Not just the obvious ones, but the
ones hiding in the background?
Remember that emotions are data. They’re chemical signals to help us handle threats and
opportunities.
This page has a whole bunch more tips & exercises for self-awareness.
Choose Yourself:
When a situation just starts to heat up, “press the pause button.” Take a big breathe. Get
some water. Say, “Let me think about this for a moment.” There are very few situations that
actually require an instant reaction.
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Remember you have many options. Sometimes it’s hard to see those. You can change your
thoughts, engage new feelings, experiment with new actions. You might not have “the
perfect solution,” but you do have possibilities!
For more ideas about Choose Yourself, read these tips and activities for self-management.
Give Yourself:
There’s always more to the story. When people do or say something annoying, get curious:
What’s really going on here?
Your choices matter. The way you respond effects others, and effects you — so you effect
the future. What’s the effect you want to have?
For more on this, here are articles on Empathy and on Purpose
Next steps:
Read the introduction to the Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence. It will explain the 3
steps in more detail, and then introduce the eight competencies.
Here is an overview of the history, “Dr. Daniel Goleman on the Origins of Emotional
Intelligence” — and a more in-depth article on the origins of EQ “Emotional WHAT?
Definitions & History of EQ”
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