Bell Ringers and Short Lessons for ARGUMENT Writing

Jean WolphLouisville Writing Project

for thei3 National Writing Project College Ready Writers Program, funded by

the U.S. Department of Education

These materials are based on the following prompt:

PROMPT FOR WRITING

B. Discipline and Learning

School discipline is in the news because students who break simple rules are sometimes punished in the same ways as students who commit crimes at school. What discipline policy would you recommend to your School Board to make sure that all students have a chance to learn? Why? Write an argument. Use ideas and evidence from the reading packet to support your argument. Use what you have learned about citing and quoting sources in your writing. The audience for your argument is the President of your School Board.

Prompt Analysis:What would we expect in a good response to this on-demand assignment?

Audience (WHO) Purpose (WHY)

Form (WHAT) Our Inferences (HOW)

Based on the Prompt and the Directions, what would we expect in a good response

to this on-demand assignment?Audience (WHO) Purpose (WHY)

President of the School Board

Form (WHAT) Our Inferences (HOW)

Based on the Prompt and the Directions, what would we expect in a good response to this

on-demand assignment?

Audience (WHO) Purpose (WHY)

Recommend a discipline policy to the School Board that will make sure that all students have a chance to learn and explain why this policy will give all students that chance

Form (WHAT) Our Inferences (HOW)

Based on the Prompt and the Directions, what would we expect in a good response to this

on-demand assignment?

Audience (WHO) Purpose (WHY)

Form (WHAT) Our Inferences (HOW)

Argument (proposal or letter)

Based on the Prompt and the Directions, what would we expect in a good response to this

on-demand assignment?Audience (WHO) Purpose (WHY)

Form (WHAT) Our Inferences (HOW)

• Formal • Read and research BEFORE deciding on a policy• Must use facts, statistics, and quotes from the articles

that have been provided• Must cite sources• Must quote sources so that speaker/writer is identified,

his/her expertise is described, and the connection to my claim is explained fully

• Try to repeat words/phrases from the claim in EACH paragraph—keep the focus on the claim

Bell Ringers

Goal:Review and revise REAL students’ responses to improve our understanding of how to succeed in On-Demand Writing

Discipline and Learning

College-Ready Writers ProgramWriting Task

Day 1 Reading Packet B

Claim Reminders

• Takes a position (side or stance)• Clear, strong wording• Avoids phrases such as “I think” or “I believe”• Shows the direction or angle you’ll take—

narrows the topic• Fulfills all of the requirements of the assignment

or prompt—meets the PURPOSE of the writing

1

TRY IT! WHAT CLAIM WOULD YOU MAKE FOR THIS PROMPT?

Our school board should _______________________.

Because __________________, our school board should ________________.

B. Discipline and Learning

School discipline is in the news because students who break simple rules are sometimes punished in the same ways as students who commit crimes at school. What discipline policy would you recommend to your School Board to make sure that all students have a chance to learn? Why? Write an argument. Use ideas and evidence from the reading packet to support your argument. Use what you have learned about citing and quoting sources in your writing. The audience for your argument is the President of your School Board.

Claims Under Construction!

It’s worth the effort to read, revise, re-read, revise … until your claim is clearly and strongly worded. If your claim is easy to understand and is specific, your paper will be easier to write.

2

Claims Under Construction!

Try at least 3 different versions of your claim—or even 3 completely different angles. Share with your elbow partner. Work together to remove or add words that make the claim clear and specific.

Claim Critique

Our school should have a zero tolerance policy for any and all misbehaviors.

Many students in our school get away with breaking rules. It’s not fair.

Our district should create a student grievance board to handle minor non-violent offenses and administer appropriate consequences.

The Board of Education must develop an alternative to suspension that focuses on learning instead of on punishment.

The School Board should do something about fairness in discipline.

Are these good claims for this on-demand assignment? Why or why not?

3

Claim Critique

[List an assortment of claims from class papers.]

Are these good claims for this on-demand assignment? Why or why not?

4

Citing a Source

We identify where our evidence came from by embedding it in our writing. Where possible, we explain why the speaker or writer is an expert.

In “__(title)__________,” ____(author) says that __________.

__(author)___, the __(position or reason for expertise)_____, explains that ___________.

5

Citing a Source

Read this student example. Use it as a model for introducing evidence from a source. Try the same kind of sentences in YOUR paper.

6

“

Citing a Source

Read this student example. Use it as a model for introducing evidence from a source. Try the same kind of sentences in YOUR paper.

7

,the

Let’s see how well these Grade 9 students did!

• Did they follow the directions?• Do they understand what argument

writing is?• Do they do it well?

Discipline and Learning

REMINDER: What we expect in a good response to this on-demand assignment

Audience (WHO) Purpose (WHY)

President of the School Board

Recommend a discipline policy to the School Board that will make sure that all students have a chance to learn and explain why this policy will give all students that chance

Form (WHAT) Our Inferences (HOW)

Argument (proposal or letter)

• Formal • Read and research BEFORE deciding on a policy• Must use facts, statistics, and quotes from the

articles that have been provided• Must cite sources• Must quote sources so that speaker/writer is

identified, his/her expertise is described, and the connection to my claim is explained fully

Student 1: School Bus

School discipline is definitely an issue. My main issue at school is people not getting punished at all.

My mother is a bus driver at my school. Most [of] my school life, I rode her bus because it was just easier than me finding another ride. During my seventh grade year, there were a couple [of] tenth grade boys making threats against my mother. I told my former, though at the time current, math teacher and the middle school counselor. Both told me that nothing could be done unless those boys acted upon those threats.

To me that sounded like someone could say, “Oh, I’m going to bring a gun to school and kill everybody: and they couldn’t do anything until half the school is dead on the floor.

That same year I also had issues with people trying to get me in trouble. One girl in the grade below me was getting tired of my mom telling her to sit in her assigned seat and never getting onto me. Now I’m not going to outright say I behaved like a perfect angel, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I sat in my assigned seat and didn’t talk much at all. This same girl wrote a petition to get me kicked off the bus because my mother didn’t get onto me for stuff I didn’t do.

After that year I stopped riding the bus all together and haven’t [ridden] since then aside from field trips.

My personal thought is that they should get disruptive students out of regular classes, but not out of school all together. The state or someone should provide an alternative school so that all students get the education they need and deserve.

The punishment should be tailored to both the student and the infraction. Someone who gets too many tardies shouldn’t be suspended, they should get ISS or detention.

I also think that schools should do away completely with mass punishment. For me, being a student that can barely be heard from a foot away, I’ve done more than enough writing assignments because other people were talking or misbehaving.

What do we noti ce?

• What does the author of “School Bus” do well?

• What does she understand about argument writing?

• Did she follow the directions?• What does she NOT seem to know

about argument writing?

Which of these did the writer do?Audience (WHO) Purpose (WHY)

President of the School Board

Recommend a discipline policy to the School Board that will make sure that all students have a chance to learn and explain why this policy will give all students that chance

Form (WHAT) Our Inferences (HOW)

Argument (proposal or letter)

• Formal • Read and research BEFORE deciding on a policy• Must use facts, statistics, and quotes from the

articles that have been provided• Must cite sources• Must quote sources so that speaker/writer is

identified, his/her expertise is described, and the connection to my claim is explained fully

What she doesn’t seem to know: Argument Writers Use Source Material (evidence from a text) to Support a Claim!

In persuasive writing, we became accustomed to using our own experience as the primary form of evidence. In argumentation, the shift is to using outside texts (articles, books, news reports, etc.) as evidence.

Help this writer integrate references to the articles that he/she was given to read before writing the argument.

A re-written example has been provided (next slide). Notice how the quoted or paraphrased information (in red) is introduced (the writer tells us the source—in blue) and how it is connected to the claim that students who commit offenses should be punished (in green).

REVISING “School Bus” to incorporate textual evidence

School discipline is definitely an issue. My main issue at school is people not getting punished at all.

My mother is a bus driver at my school. Most [of] my school life, I rode her bus because it was just easier than me finding another ride. During my seventh grade year, there were a couple [of] tenth grade boys making threats against my mother. I told my former, though at the time current, math teacher and the middle school counselor. Both told me that nothing could be done unless those boys acted upon those threats.

To me that sounded like someone could say, “Oh, I’m going to bring a gun to school and kill everybody: and they couldn’t do anything until half the school is dead on the floor.” It reminds me of a situation described in Paul Reide’s article, “Disruptions in Syracuse Schools Spur Debate Over Discipline, Suspensions.” A parent, Mary Handley, is quoted as saying, “There have been incidents in the hallway that compromise the safety of all the kids, but particularly the smaller kids.” This seems serious, just as the threats to my mother seemed serious. And yet nothing happened in the Syracuse school. Reide reported that the parent, as well as the teachers, “said there is a pervasive feeling that district leaders want to keep discipline numbers down and that referring students for disciplinary hearings is discouraged.” I believe that’s the problem in our school as well. A serious problem was reported, but nothing was done. Are we just trying to keep our numbers of discipline reports down? Making a threat of bodily harm should warrant a disciplinary hearing. Our code of discipline needs to be revised to provide consequences for serious infractions.

That same year I also had issues with people trying to get me in trouble. One girl in the grade below me was getting tired of my mom telling her to sit in her assigned seat and never getting onto me. Now I’m not going to outright say I behaved like a perfect angel, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I sat in my assigned seat and didn’t talk much at all. This same girl wrote a petition to get me kicked off the bus because my mother didn’t get onto me for stuff I didn’t do. After that year I stopped riding the bus all together and haven’t [ridden] since then aside from field trips.

My personal thought is that they should get disruptive students out of regular classes, but not out of school all together. The state or someone should provide an alternative school so that all students get the education they need and deserve.

The punishment should be tailored to both the student and the infraction. Someone who gets too many tardies shouldn’t be suspended, they should get ISS or detention.

I also think that schools should do away completely with mass punishment. For me, being a student that can barely be heard from a foot away, I’ve done more than enough writing assignments because other people were talking or misbehaving.

“School Bus”--Another Issue:Tightening the CLAIM

Rewriting will also help the writer make a really strong claim.

An initial claim was implied in the sentence, “My main issue at school is people not getting punished at all.”

Later she writes, “My personal thought is that they should get disruptive students out of regular classes, but not out of school all together. “

This also could be considered her claim,” but she still doesn’t do what the On Demand Task requires, which is to make a specific recommendation to the President of the School Board. Now the student can be specific. She can focus on the notion of threats and consequences.

Claim Reminders1. Clear, strong wording2. Takes a position (side or stance)3. Shows the direction or angle you’ll take—narrows the topic4. Avoids “I think” or “I believe”5. Answers the assignment or prompt

TRY IT! Choose either A or B below. Rewrite the claim so that it meets our 4 criteria.

A. My main issue at school is people not getting punished at all.

B. My personal thought is that they should get disruptive students out of regular classes, but not out of school all together.

“School Bus”: Tightening the CLAIM

TRY IT! On a Post-It, write a strong claim for this student’s piece.

Remember NOT to use personal references (I, me, my, we, etc.)—just state the claim.

Be specific (narrowing your suggestion to one element, not everything you can think of about discipline)

Show that you understand this is a an argument of policy—you are saying what the School Board SHOULD do in regard to a discipline policy.

“School Bus”: How did we do?Sharing our revised claims.

More Practice!Use Student Sample 2, “A Lot of Controversy”

Find the student’s claim. Is it strong? If not, revise it. Make sure to word the claim so that it is a strong recommendation to the President of the School Board.

Student Sample 2: Grade 9“A Lot of Controversy”

There is a lot of controversy over school discipline. There [are] a lot of different ways that schools punish [their] misbehaving children. There are many outrageous punishments like punishing pre-K students by suspending them is just plain dumb. [They’re] going to act up every now and then. [They’re] 3 or 4 year olds. [They’re] not perfect and they don’t deserve a punishment that severe. When students fight or bring a weapon to school, that’s when a harsh behavior is sometimes needed and they normally won’t do it anymore if they don’t like the punishment. There should be multiple tools for different actions, not just suspension for a petty action like disrupting the class.

There is also such thing as [too] little consequences. [If] a student brings a gun to school and intends to use it they should be expelled and sent to a juvenile detention center, they shouldn’t just get a slap on the wrist and be sent on with [their] day. It also works both ways. [One] shouldn’t have a really severe punishment for talking in class and they shouldn’t have a less severe punishment for bringing a weapon to school. Children also shouldn’t be treated better or worse depending on how they look. [It] just isn’t right and everything should be kept as fair as possible on the punishment scale.

“A Lot of Controversy”: How did we do?Sharing our revisions.

Keeping the Claim at the Forefront

Student Sample 4, “We Need to Be Fair”

This student understands how important it is to tie the evidence to the claim.

What will make this piece even stronger is a continued focus on the idea of fairness. We need to see the thread of fairness woven throughout the piece. What does this look like? See the example on the next slide.

Student Sample 4: Grade 9“We Need to be Fair”

When it comes to discussing about balancing discipline with opportunities for learning, we need to be fair. We need to think about how much learning [they’re] losing when they get expelled or suspended. We can’t racially discriminate anyone in any way. We should only suspend or expel children if it’s our last chance or if they commit a serious crime.

In Syracuse schools, children are getting suspended or expelled for fighting, talking back, tardies, roaming halls, and being disrespectful. Now, I can see getting suspended for fighting because it endangers other students but tardies or roaming the halls? They should only get ASD for that. That way they don’t miss any learning. If we stop suspending students for minor offenses such as being tardy or roaming the halls, we’ll be seen as disciplining students more fairly. Let the punishment fit the crime.

In the years 2011 and 2012, in Syracuse schools, they were over 4,210 students suspended. Many were suspended more than once, for a total of 9,998 suspensions that year. Superintendent Contreas says “I see the number of in-school-suspensions and out-of-school suspensions, so I know that the principals are acting.” Kevin Ahem, President of the Syracuse Teachers Association, agrees that “suspension is definitely not the best solution. But neither is allowing chronically disruptive students to stay in classrooms where other children are trying to learn.” He says, “We’ve got to have alternative programs for the kids.”

Honestly, children should only get suspended if they do something TERRIBLE or if it’s the teacher’ last “hope” to set them straight. Some districts are “choosing to keep law breaking students in school, away from trouble on the streets, and offering them counseling and assistance aimed at changing behavior. “Almost 70% of students involved in arrests or referrals to court are black or Hispanic.

Student Sample 4: Grade 9“We Need to be Fair,” continued

Honestly, children should only get suspended if they do something TERRIBLE or if it’s the teacher’ last “hope” to set them straight. Some districts are “choosing to keep law breaking students in school, away from trouble on the streets, and offering them counseling and assistance aimed at changing behavior. “Almost 70% of students involved in arrests or referrals to court are black or Hispanic.

But just because they’re a different race doesn’t mean we should discriminate them. We must help them just like we do everyone else. Russel Skiba says “We are not taking these tools out of the toolbox. These should be tools of last resort.”

Some schools have a group called “Promise.” Repeat offenders get several chances to change their behavior before more punitive measures kick in. In one school, an 18 year old had been caught with a small amount of marijuana in her car on her high school campus. She didn’t get the original punishment, suspension or arrest, she got to go to the “Promise” group.

Exclusionary discipline is so common that in some cases, pre-K students (as young as three) are getting suspended!!! Schools should only remove students from class as a last resort. 95% of our-of-school suspensions are for nonviolent behavior such as being disruptive, acting disrespectfully, tardiness, profanity, and dress code violations. In recent years, secondary schools have suspended an estimated two million students a year. We need to strive to ensure fairness and equity for all students because one size fits all mentality simply doesn’t work. Our children need to feel safe and respected. It’s always nice to set high expectations for students in academic terms, behavior, and conduct. “No school can be a great school if it is not first a safe school.” As Thurgood Marshall says, “None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. Somebody was there to help us.”

Directions for Student Sample 4, “We Need to Be Fair”

With a partner, find 2-3 other places that you could insert a sentence or phrase that directs the reader’s attention to the fairness (or lack of it) in the situations that the writer describes. Write your new sentences on Post-it © notes. Be ready to share.

“We Need to be Fair”: How did we do?

Let’s share our new sentences that keep the focus on the claim.

Debriefing: Naming it and Claiming it.

What have we learned and how can we use this in writing arguments? In writing on-demand pieces?