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BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

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December 2012 Volume XXXIV, No.4 Kislev/Tevet 5773 The Rainbow Reporter http://www.bnaikeshet.org/ From Our Co-Presidents continued on page 2 Rabbi Elliott A covenantal community requires a strong center. The center exerts a gravitational pull. It brings us into relationship with one another. Like the earth, its gravity creates an atmosphere without which the community could not survive. Let’s stop for a moment – think about the people that just happen to be sitting near you, the same people you greeted and introduced yourself to a few minutes ago. Why might you want to enter into a covenantal relationship with the people in our synagogue that exceeds your commitments to your neighbors? Why might you want to expand the circle of people you care about beyond your family and close friends? Why might you want to increase your circle of obligation? And, knowing that a covenant is meaningless if it does not also include some obligations and expectations, why should you take on these commitments? There are, in fact, many reasons: I have already mentioned God – that’s a big one. I have mentioned shared values that we can’t bring into full expression on our own – also a pretty big reason. We could add a long list of practical desires that seem to be connected specifically to joining a synagogue: education for children, a place to celebrate holidays and to mark life cycle events… But one of the most overlooked and compelling reasons to join a covenantal community, like a synagogue is LOVE. Covenantal community– synagogues– give us a place to expand our experience of love. Perhaps our next membership campaign should simply be – Come to Bnai Keshet – Feel the Love! It is part of what makes our congregation’s commitment to diversity, to welcoming interfaith families, to marriage equality so natural and so compelling. continued on page 3 As we write this on erev Thanksgiving (as it were), three weeks into our term, we are struck anew by the bounty of the Bnai Keshet community’s gifts and blessings. We are thankful: • for the spiritual, intellectual and educational leadership, and the emotional support, of Rabbis Elliott, Darby and Ariann; • for the dedication, competence and grace of Nadia, Debbie, Cindy, Stuart, Lincoln and Jack; • for the remarkable leadership (and daunting model!) Barbara and Betty provided over the past twenty-eight months; • for those who accomplished so much in serving with “B&B” on the board of trustees – one of whom (that would be you, Dan Epstein) just completed two decades’ consecutive service (and in typical BK fashion has already stepped up in other capacities); • for our increasingly, thrillingly emerging model of seamless congregational learning brought into being by Deb Garrison, Sarah Wolman, Bruce Cohen, Roberta Elliott and, especially, Rabbi Ariann; •for chanting with Beth Sandweiss and Melissa Shaffer; • for our recentTorah- and Haftarah-reading regulars: Roberta Elliott, Nathan Goldwasser, Melody Kimmel,Anita Louis, Ruth Lowenkron, Beth Sandweiss, Jordan Sklar, Jane Susswein, Leslie Weber and DebbieWohl; • for the teaching staff into whose hands we place our most precious community members, and who serve them so ably and with such love; • for the reminder “Superstorm Sandy” provided of what a caring community we are, how our first collective instinct is to look out for each other; • for Lori Becker and the Hesed Committee who, along with so
Transcript
Page 1: BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

December 2012 Volume XXXIV, No.4 Kislev/Tevet 5773

The

Rainbow Reporter http://www.bnaikeshet.org/

From Our Co-Presidents

continued on page 2

Rabbi Elliott A covenantal community requires a strong center. The center exerts a gravitational pull. It brings us into relationship with one another. Like the earth, its gravity creates an atmosphere without which the community could not survive. Let’s stop for a moment – think about the people that just happen to be sitting near you, the same people you greeted and introduced yourself to a few minutes ago. Why might you want to enter into a covenantal relationship with the people in our synagogue that exceeds your commitments to your neighbors? Why might you want to expand the circle of people you care about beyond your family and close friends? Why might you want to increase your circle of obligation? And, knowing that a covenant is meaningless if it does not also include some obligations and expectations, why should you take on these commitments?There are, in fact, many reasons: I have already mentioned God – that’s a big one. I have mentioned shared values that we can’t bring into full expression on our own – also a pretty big reason. We could add a long list of practical desires that seem to be connected specifically to joining a synagogue: education for children, a place to celebrate holidays and to mark life cycle events…But one of the most overlooked and compelling reasons to join a covenantal community, like a synagogue is LOVE. Covenantal community– synagogues– give us a place to expand our experience of love. Perhaps our next membership campaign should simply be – Come to Bnai Keshet – Feel the Love!It is part of what makes our congregation’s commitment to diversity, to welcoming interfaith families, to marriage equality so natural and so compelling.

continued on page 3

As we write this on erev Thanksgiving (as it were), three weeks into our term, we are struck anew by the bounty of the Bnai Keshet community’s gifts and blessings.

We are thankful:

• for the spiritual, intellectual and educational leadership, and the emotional support, of Rabbis Elliott, Darby and Ariann;

• for the dedication, competence and grace of Nadia, Debbie, Cindy, Stuart, Lincoln and Jack;

• for the remarkable leadership (and daunting model!) Barbara and Betty provided over the past twenty-eight months;

• for those who accomplished so much in serving with “B&B” on the board of trustees – one of whom (that would be you, Dan Epstein) just completed two decades’ consecutive service (and in typical BK fashion has already stepped up in other capacities);

• for our increasingly, thrillingly emerging model of seamless congregational learning brought into being by Deb Garrison, Sarah Wolman, Bruce Cohen, Roberta Elliott and, especially, Rabbi Ariann;

•for chanting with Beth Sandweiss and Melissa Shaffer;

• for our recent Torah- and Haftarah-reading regulars: Roberta Elliott, Nathan Goldwasser, Melody Kimmel, Anita Louis, Ruth Lowenkron, Beth Sandweiss, Jordan Sklar, Jane Susswein, Leslie Weber and Debbie Wohl;

• for the teaching staff into whose hands we place our most precious community members, and who serve them so ably and with such love;

• for the reminder “Superstorm Sandy” provided of what a caring community we are, how our first collective instinct is to look out for each other;

• for Lori Becker and the Hesed Committee who, along with so

Page 2: BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

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December 2012

Meaning of Chanukah In Ancient Rome, the month of January celebrated the god Janus, ruler of gates, openings, and closings. The first day of the month of January amounted to Janus’ annual coronation day and was a day of feasting and celebration. Later European polytheists transformed this day into one of gift-giving. And even later Christian Europeans celebrated it as the Feast of the Circumcision of Jesus. Many layers later, when all of Europe had adopted the Gregorian calendar (except some Eastern Orthodox Christians, who still maintain the first of the year is January 14th), the holiday of New Year’s Day became a secular occasion for reflection, renewal, and perhaps a bit of debauchery. In Israel, where the Gregorian calendar is in full effect, New Year’s Day remains a point of controversy and is often ignored, owing to its pagan and Christian origins. Yet we Jews living in a Christian majority nation never hear about the January dilemma. Instead we hear about the December dilemma: how do interfaith families deal with Christmas and Chanukah and how do Jewish families of all variations deal with the omnipresence of Christmas? I was reminded that this perennial hand-wringing and hair-pulling conversation was on the horizon while sitting in my car on Halloween, warming my bones, charging my cell phone, and bemoaning my hurricane-induced electronic despair. The radio was already exhorting me to start my Christmas shopping and gleefully announcing the beginning of Christmas music season. I offer no new words of wisdom for those entering the many battles of the season, if you are struggling with family dynamics which challenge your Jewish practice. We all figure out what makes sense for our nuclear families, our extended families, our celebrations with friends, and so on. For my family it means that half a dozen committed Jews trek to the middle of Pennsylvania each year to make Christmas for one elderly, faithful, Christian relative. Each year that we commemorate this family tradition, I’m increasingly struck by the wisdom of it and the possibility that it very truly enacts some of my most central Jewish values: kibbud z’keynim (honoring the elderly), kibbud av va’em (honoring parents), and keiruv (bringing others closer). I won’t say that pervasive Christmas music for two months doesn’t drive me a little batty. But as time passes, I wonder more and more if there is something I can learn from the cycle of holidays which fill the public sphere and remind me of my minority status as an American Jew (or Jewish American). I challenge myself now to find the Jewish values inherent in other community’s celebrations and find ways to step up my own Jewish practice with attention to

these values. This attention to others’ practice heightens my respect for my neighbors and helps me find new angles with which to approach traditional Jewish practice. As I approach Chanukah this year, I am thinking of lessons gleaned from other holidays around the winter solstice which closely align with the values highlighted by Chanukah. For example, the Hindu holiday of Diwali focuses on the presence of Inner Light and the triumph of good over evil. How can I find new ways to bring light from within into the world after so many of us have experienced so much darkness in the past month? How can I pour goodness into the world when many continue to struggle? This is the kavvanah I will bring to the lighting of my own Chanukah lights. What are you thinking about as we approach Chanukah this year? What new meaning will you bring to your own Chanukah practice?

Rabbi Ariann Weitzman

Of course we want to affirm the loving commitments that are most central for our members. Of course we want to expand the boundaries of our community toward inclusion.Though we may have originally come to the synagogue as consumers, looking for a religious school, or for a service that fits our spiritual needs or a place to talk about Israel; we know our connection to the synagogue has shifted to something more covenantal when we find ourselves remaining as members, and dedicated to supporting the community, even though we are in disagreement with some, perhaps the majority of, members about something that matters to us personally.Like God after the Golden Calf we remain dedicated, even when frustrated. It is an expression of covenantal community when we act lovingly to each other even when we might be justifiably angry or annoyed. But more importantly, we know our synagogue is covenantal when we find ourselves acting with loving compassion toward the very same people with whom we were angry or annoyed. Like a grandmother whose circle has grown dramatically, a synagogue creates the opportunity for us to be lovingly concerned with people we barely know. We get to worry about the education of and we schepp naches from children who are not our own. We get to pray for one another’s health. We walk into the homes of people we didn’t know before and sit with them when they are in mourning. And it feels good to expand our circle of loving hesed to include the people sitting next to us at services or across the table during adult education.Being part of a covenantal community means calling on ourselves to act like God in the Torah. To offer more hesed into the world than we are required, often for its own sake without certainty that it will be returned.

Rabbi Elliott - continued

December 2012

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many others in the BK family, answer the call for support during storms literal and metaphorical with Maimonidean selflessness;

• for the dozens and dozens of BK members who banded together to enable us to pay off our mortgage and own our home free and clear, particularly the group of anchor donors, and most particularly the Drill family and Ira Goldberg for bringing us his remarkably generous anonymous client;

• for the music of Marty Fogel, Jonathan Grupper, Howard Kerbel, Richard Reiter and David Sanders;

• for everyone who read heartbreaking name after name, into the wee morning hours, as we recalled the Shoah in a new way;

• for all the learning and inspiration from this year’s large bnai mitzvah class;

• for the glorious voices of Tom Jeszeck and the BK choir;

• for all our recent members, whose vibrancy so enriches our community, and for Cheryl Marshall-Petrikoff, who put on such a lovely welcoming event for them;

• for Lauren and Peter Meyer, Beth Sandweiss and Aaron Back, and Aya Izraely-Levi, for renewing and strengthening our community’s connections with Israel;

For all of this – and for Zach Lipner’s teaching, Melina Macall’s work in Paterson, Richard Skeen’s leadership with Montclair Emergency Services for the Homeless (MESH), Rich Levy and Martin Slon’s unheralded handyman services, Sam Sheps’s cooking, Elise Aronov and Kevin Fried’s gardening, a dozen sukkah-builders extraordinaire, and so much more – we are profoundly grateful.

The remarkable thing is that if our editor gave us more space – and we’re thankful, too, for the terrific BK communications team – we could add dozens more thank-you’s covering dozens more activities. The range, reflective of the myriad passions of our congregation, is staggering.

We invite you, now and throughout our tenure, to consider whether you might like to ramp up your engagement in BK. You don’t have to, of course; if you’re happy with your current level of involvement, so are we. But our experience has made manifest the truth of the cliche: the more you give, the more you get.

The you in the previous paragraph is you, yourself. There are no second tier or provisional congregants at BK, and the myth of the inner circle is indeed mythical. (Luis, Harvey and Zach may still use their secret BK handshake, but – and please don’t tell them – we stopped doing so at board meetings years ago.) If you’d like to explore how best to match the congregation’s manifold offerings and opportunities with your interests, call us. We’d be honored to speak with you.May we continue from strength to strength, together.

Richard and Craig

Co-Presidents continued

Burning the Mortage

On September 14, Bnai Keshet celebrated the end of a very long odyssey. We burned our mortgage (at least in facsimile), and our building became completely ours.

Gathered around a roaring bonfire, we celebrated the history of a building we now own free and clear. The members of the congregation, virtually all of whom had contributed to the Burn the Mortgage campaign, were joined by a number of former congregants, including several of the founding members. Sherri Richards, Amy Roth, Howard and Susan Silver, Jan Silver, and Judy and Bernie Beck were all part of the crowd that listened to past presidents Susan Green and Don Spector read a message from Dan Ehrenkrantz, our rabbi during the hearings and the construction.

Congregant Ira Goldberg received special thanks for bringing us $600,000 from an anonymous client of his, which we matched in record time. Ira, housebound while recovering from an injury, was a virtual presence via a laptop perched on a tree stump with a good view of the bonfire. Thanks, too, went to Charles Rosen, VP for Development, former President Zach Lipner, and former VP for Development Liz Lipner, who created and implemented the Burn the Mortgage campaign, and Elaine Gongora, who designed the recognition plaques in the lobby. Rabbi Elliott, outgoing co-presidents Betty Murphy and Barbara Reisman, and incoming co-presidents Rich Freedman and Craig Levine also spoke, thanking the congregation, the Executive Board, and especially the Anchor Donors. Finally, with a dramatic flourish, Richard Polton, BK’s Treasurer, threw a large scroll lettered “Paid in Full” onto the fire. It blazed vigorously as the crowd cheered.

Then it was Friday night almost as usual, with an energetic Kabbalat Keshet led by all three of our rabbis, David Sanders, and Melissa Schaffer. The sanctuary was lined with memorabilia—photographs of many past celebrations, old Rainbow Reporters, old membership directories, newspaper clippings, and architects’ plans. As we sipped champagne and ate cake following the service, we also browsed through scrapbooks on the tables, remembering both the joyous moments in our history and the many members whose faces are still fresh in their pictures but who are now with us only in memory-- Paul de Koninck, Edna and Moe Goldberger, Sondra and Irwin Herschlag, Howard Kestenbaum, Hy Meador, Eric Neisser, Eady and Joe Rickard, Frank Rothenberg, Ken Silver, Ronnie Selbst, and Lee Stein. We were finally all in our own home, together.

-Ellen Kolba

Page 4: BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

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December 2012

Member Mentionings

We recognize the creative abilities of the following members:

Tim Greenberg: Primetime Emmy for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Supervising Producer)

Richard Polton: Author of The Life and Times of Fred Wesley Wentworth: The Architect Who Shaped Paterson

Scott Raab: Author of The Whore of Akron (commentary on LeBron James); writer-at-large for Esquire magazine

Doni Zasloff Thomas: Author of Get Cooking! A Jewish American Family Cookbook & Rocking Mama Doni Celebration, a family guide to adding fun to every holiday.

Dan Epstein is currently updating the BK website creating portraits of our rabbis, current slate of officers, and extended board members. You’ve seen him at BK events visually documenting our history for over twenty years. Dan, along with his son Sam are working on another website where members will be able to see the photos he has made at our congregational events and holiday celebrations, and even download a photo.

Lunch and Learnis a new program which meets on alternate Wednesdays.

From 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM paraticipants can learn and play Mah Jongg. Instruction will be provided by Marion Zukoff and a group of her friends. Both beginners and those who already know how to play are welcome.

The second project, The Legacy Project, will meet from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM. We will explore a variety of ways to put our values and histories into a form that can be passed on to succeeding generations. Each session will end with 15 minutes of singing- just for fun- led by Jeanne Krausman.

Those who are interested in ideas for writing or creating other kinds of Legacy projects may want to purchase Ethical Wills; Putting Your Values on Paper by Barry Baines (DeCapo Press) For more information contact Freyda Lazarus, facilitator

Blowin’ the shofars: (below)Andy Glassman, Sam Shepps and Richard Skeen

Page 5: BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

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Time for Annual Latka-Palooza!This Year, Re-introducing Kugel-Fest!!

Bring your best, tastiest kugel to eat and share!

Celebrity Judges!! Fantastic Prizes!!

(Remember, dairy, vegetarian only)

Friday, 12/14/12

IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN JOINING THE LATKA PREP OR CLEAN UP CREW (HINT HINT!!)CONTACT DAN EPSTEIN OR JORDAN SKLAR

6:00 pm: first seating and kid activity

6:25 pm: food away, Chanukah/Erev Shabbat service (w/music and kids)

7:00 pm: second latke seating, olive/olive oil tasting (w/even more music).

BK k

ids h

appy

to sl

eep

over

in th

e Su

kkah

!

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December 2012

Jason and Merrissa Nacht both grew up in strong Jewish communities. This young couple is new to BK and they are also about to become new parents with a baby due in March. Knowing how important a Jewish community can be for a child’s sense of identity, they joined Bnai Keshet this fall and look forward to becoming active members. They live in Belleville. Merrissa works for Century 21 Department Stores and Jason works for a Pharmaceutical Marketing Agency.

Clair Goldberg and Louis Brown joined this summer. They come to BK with close connections through Clair’s sister, Melina Macall. Their children Lara (12) and Zece

(10) attend Golda Och Academy. Clair is a psychologist in Montclair and Louis is an Assistant Principal in South Orange/Maplewood. They look forward to increasing their involvement in Tikkun Olam and becoming regular

participants in all aspects of the BK community.

Carmen Amalia Corrales and her daughter Cari (age 7, Bet) are new members from Maplewood, introduced by Luis and Vivian Schuchinski. Carmen, originally from Cuba, is happy to have found a diverse and thoughtful community. Here she and her daughter can affirm and grow in their Jewish identities. This will honor her father, Enrique, a Sephardic Jew, now deceased, who persisted in his faith. Despite suffering unimaginable horrors, he instilled Jewish culture and education in Carmen, his beloved only child, whom he raised to do the things and fight the battles that he could not.

The Kaufman family joined in September. Daniel and Saydi Kaufman, along with their children Zella (age 6, Alef) and Asher (almost 9, Dalet), live in Bloomfield. Dan is an attorney and Saydi is a teacher and artist. They are looking forward to learning, praying, and growing with the BK community.

Jacquie and Paul Ruderman live a stone’s throw from the synagogue and have been swinging by sporadically over the past year or so. They like the liberal philosophy and “no judgments” attitude of everyone here, and the warm community that BK offers. They joined this past summer with their 3rd grade twins, Jaden and Elijah. The boys are making new friends and learning in Bet Midrash and the family looks forward to spending time in their new spiritual home.

Rachel and Jeremy Brown have lived in Montclair for 13 years and joined BK this October. Rachel is the librarian at Golda Och Academy and the Montclair Public Library. Jeremy is a labor lawyer in Newark and NYC. They have two children, Noah (12) who enjoys guitar and computers, and Aaron (10) who enjoys reading and piano. Both

attend Golda Och Academy. They are happy to have found BK and look forward to becoming active members of the community.

Cynthia Green, Joshua Jablons and their three children, Zachary, Jonah and Hannah joined this summer. Zachary is a sophomore at RPI, Jonah is a senior at Montclair HS, and Hannah, a fifth grader at MKA (10),

has joined Bet Midrash in the Hey class. They feel happy that BK is such a good fit for their family, and to be worshipping with many current friends and looking forward to making new friends.

Lisa Schweitzer and David Kingsnorth joined this September with their children, Justin (age 8, Gimmel) and Andrew (age 6, Alef.) They first heard of BK through fellow Montclair friends, and enjoyed the diverse and

welcoming community. They have enrolled their boys in Bet Midrash and look forward to meeting other members.

Introducing Our Newest Members (since July ‘12)

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Sha and Matt Lepore, along with their children Elias (10), Owen (8) and Clio (6) are in the process of moving to Montclair. Becoming part of a synagogue and its community is important to them; so, even as their house is being renovated, and they are camped in temporary quarters in Clifton, they made the leap to BK. Matt works at Pfizer with BK member Andy Shmeltz, who is soon to be his across-the-street neighbor. The boys are enrolled in Bet Midrash.

Lisa Stulberg and Evan Rudall, and their children Avery (age 8) and Eli (age 6, joined in July. Both Lisa and Evan work in education and came to know BK through their friends, Max and Melissa Polaner. They were looking for a

comfortable Jewish community in Montclair which could provide a good Jewish education for their kids and they are happy they found BK.

Carol Schlitt and Alan Morley are attorneys working with progressive nonprofits and foundations in NYC. They were attracted by BK’s tradition of engaging in social activism, encouraging grassroots leadership, and welcoming a diverse community to participate in the congregation, including adoptive families like theirs. They are

all happy to make the “schlep” from West Orange and Elliott, their 1st grader, is enrolled in Bet Midrash, which he loves.

Rebecca and Michael Miller joined in August. Rebecca is a nutritionist and Michael is an IT consultant and they live in Montclair. They came to know BK through friends in town and felt it was the right fit for their family. They have three children - Sophie (age 8, Gimmel), Lila (age 6) and Marcus (age 3). They look forward to getting to know other jewish families at BK and to providing a fun, nuturing and educational experience for their children.

Shana Stein and Jamie Siwinski are both teachers at Montclair High School. They have friends at BK and were attracted to BK’s progressive nature and focus on social justice. Their children, Bodhi (age 5) and Guthrie (age 7), have enrolled in Bet Midrash and the family looks forward to being a part of the shared values of the Bnai Keshet community and years of learning and growth that the Bnai Keshet family fosters.

Beth and Kenneth Dreifach and their second grade twins, Madeline and Daniela, recently joined from Montclair. Kenneth is a lawyer and Beth is a stay at home mom. They look forward to being part of the

community at BK and to enriching their lives with Judaism.

Hannah Richman and Jason Slosberg live in Montclair with their two kids Caleb (age 5) and Maddox (age 2). Caleb is in Kindergarten at Watchung Elementary and both boys look forward to joining Bet Midrash in the future. Hannah is the founder and director of Friends of TEAM Schools, which supports a network of KIPP charter schools in Newark.

Jason is a physician turned entrepreneur, and is currently the President of Legacy Converting.

Robin Miller and Ethan Wiener are new members from Maplewood who joined in September. Their children, Adelaide (8) and Jeremiah (6), are already making new friends in Bet Midrash. Ethan is a pediatric ER physician and Robin is an attorney specializing in media distribution/technology. They were looking for a synagogue that fits with their beliefs, personalities and sense of social activism, and were happy when they found in BK such a community.

and Welcome Back!!!to the Arons Family, the PoKempner/Kushen Family and to Cheryl & Mark Slutzky.

Page 8: BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

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December 2012

devar lettes

When redressing the Torah every Shabbat, we remind ourselves in song of that the world is stabilized by three forces: Torah, service to G-d and acts of lovingkindness. Today, I will address what has been called the ultimate act of lovingkindness.

One measure of what Rabbi Elliott referred to on Rosh Hashanah as “covenantal Jewish community” is its commitment when death wrenches one of its own from life’s routine rhythms, ripping apart the normal fabric of their world and its very gravitational moorings. Unexpectedly, this happened to our family less than 2 months ago. Betsy, Ilan, Hana, Matan and I are so grateful for the many ways that our rabbis, the Hesed Committee and others selflessly helped at a moment’s notice. It was a great comfort, for example, to look out and to see you at my dad’s funeral, and to come home from the cemetery to a house that was ready to receive us and our guests, and when you filled our home for shiva minyan, and for the appreciation you showed when, suddenly, we became among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

These are the death-related obligations that come easily and naturally for us at Bnai Keshet, and they are familiar to most American Jews. Yet, a covenantal community can do even more.

I and other Bnai Keshet members have taken modest steps the past couple of years to do what has been accomplished by an increasing number of other Jewish communities in America and Canada – to establish a congregational chevra kadisha. For those who are not familiar with this term, a chevra kadisha is the traditional group of men and women who are on-call whenever a death occurs in the community and who tend to the deceased and prepare him or her for burial. It is considered holy work – hence, chevra kadisha, or “holy society” – because this act is considered the ultimate mitzvah, in that the deceased, in the chevra’s hands, will never be able to repay the favor of being carefully and gently prepared for his or her burial in their final resting place.

As part of a chevra kadisha course that I took this spring, I happened to interview the director of the Jewish Memorial Chapel in Clifton – one of few remaining non-profit, community funeral homes in America. I consider it beschert, something that happened for a reason. After we had so beautifully passed my dad with our love to a greater

love – after he died and we cared for him one last time, I contacted the Memorial Chapel’s director and arranged for my dad to be cared for there. A very kind driver came to my dad’s hospital room in Philadelphia and transported him directly to Clifton. A shomer watched over him there so he was never alone. And on Tisha b’Av morning, the day of my dad’s funeral, a chevre kadisha from Clifton performed tahara, carefully washing and ritually purifying him, reciting prayers that have been used by Sephardic and Ashkenazi communities since the Middle Ages. They dressed him in simple white clothing called tachrichim, as if he were the High Priest preparing to enter the Holy of Holies. They carefully lifted and placed by dad in his plain pine box, sprinkled him with earth from Eretz Yisrael and then replaced the lid. A shomer then stayed with my dad until we joined him later that morning.

Would I have preferred for my dad to have been readied for burial by a Bnai Keshet chevra kadisha, by some of you who know our family and who could be counted on to show him the honor and care that you would show me if I needed this last favor? Absolutely. This Yom Kippur, as we prepare to remember our loved ones who have passed on, let us, as a covenantal community, commit to enlarging the scope and reach of lovingkindness that we can extend to those who will grieve new losses in the year to come. We already do certain things so well to comfort the mourners. This year, we aim to enhance the holy work that we can provide to those of us who may die and will need that final favor that can never be re-paid. We will train female and male tahara teams in the holy work to lovingly prepare our own for their next journey. And we will find ways that everyone – young and not so young – will be able to comfortably discover how they might take part, such as by sewing tachrichim, managing logistics, being shomrim or chanting during tahara.

I recently learned that children watch their parents carefully when death strikes very closely to home. They watch intently because they are learning from us what to do in a situation about which they know little. I was blessed and am so very grateful that our eldest, Ilan, shared every moment of that world-spinning free fall with me. He learned, I hope, that death is but another side of life and, perhaps, a bridge to something else, and that it can be a beautiful interlude when it’s bounded by love.

(1)

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devar letts

I believe that we teach what we need to learn and so, what I say tonight is truly meant as a reminder to me about my covenant with God and by God I mean the source of my life and of all life.

When Rabbi Elliot told me that this year’s work would be about “covenant” I remembered from my one Jewish law class in law school that in addition to the endless discussions about loaning farm animals that often turned out to be lame, there was also the concept in Jewish law, as in our modern contract law, that a binding contract requires consideration - a benefit received or detriment, something given up, which induces each party to enter the contract. Without consideration, the promise is simply a gift, not enforceable as a contract.

In my covenant with God, I have agreed to do what God cannot do and God, in turn, has agreed to do what I cannot do.

Here’s what I can do - I can get up every day, walk around, live my life, mix it up with my family, co-workers, friends, everyone who crosses my path. If I don’t get out of bed, God doesn’t either - not through me, anyway. So that’s my part of my covenant.

Here’s God’s part - while some days I happily jump out of bed, enthusiastically ready to start a new day (I have sometimes been accused of being a little too chipper first thing in the morning), some days I am not so enthusiastic. Some days I am burdened with worry and fear. God has agreed to stay with me. God, the source of all life, doesn’t worry or fret. God, after all, is God,

steady and calm. God holds that place for me and when I line up and am in the flow of the source of life, I am complete; I can take on life’s challenges. I laugh; I breathe; I grow; I am useful in this expanding world.

And Bnai Keshet helps me in living my covenant. My covenant is meaningless unless I can line up with the calm, steady, source of life within me and that isn’t always easy for me to do. Bnai Keshet gives me so many opportunities to line up. On Shabbat mornings, at services, I lose myself in the familiar prayers. I breathe and relax as I look up through the beautiful windows that surround our sanctuary. Same thing on Friday mornings, at the minyan. I have a place to pray and center and I know that I am counted because there are so few of us that I think we all, at some point, count to see if we have a minyan. On Wednesday mornings at the meditation, I can center with others and we all raise each other up. In the Rosh Hodesh group, we share and laugh and cry and hold the place of calm for each other.

There is another way that Bnai Keshet helps me live my covenant. On evenings like the Roabst, I laugh with good friends and I easily line up with God, the source of my life. I think God is especially pleased when I fulfill my covenant in this way because when I am laughing with others, God is too. God is laughing and having a great time through me.

And, Bnai Keshet has given me opportunities to share my writing, to lead a workshop, to give a devar and now this devarlette - all opportunities to remind myself of what I know is true – we are all in this together and that includes God, always there, engaged and interested when we are engaged, laughing and enjoying what we enjoy, and always there, steady and calm, even when we forget.

Toda raba.

L’Shana Tova.

-Dinah Hendon

One of the many things that my parents did well was not to excessively shield us from death. We were never hustled out of shul like other kids when the mysterious Yikzor service approached. And we all did just fine. For those who haven’t allowed your children to sit through Yizkor and to watch you privately grieve for those who you recall and miss, today might be a good day for them to stay by your side. Rest assured that they will be watching intently and learning one way or the other.

G’mar hatimah tovah.

-Joel Ackelsberg

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Tributes

From Emil & Dorothy Schattner in honor of Avery Spector

From Anita Rotman, Ivy Fischer & Deb Glessner, Liz & Zach Lipner, Betty & Greg Murphy, Barbara Reisman & Eric Scherzer, Jane & Harvey Susswein in memory of Rose Schecter

From Melissa Schaffer & Don Rifkin, Ivy Fischer & Deb Glessner, Liz & Zach Lipner, Betty & Greg Murphy, Barbara Reisman & Eric Scherzer, Jane & Harvey Susswein in memory of our beloved member Terry Weitzen

From Melissa Schaffer & Don Rifkin, Ivy Fischer & Deb Glessner, Liz & Zach Lipner, Betty & Greg Murphy, Barbara Reisman & Eric Scherzer, Jane & Harvey Susswein in memory of Stuart Brown’s father.

From the Polaner Family, Ivy Fischer & Deb Glessner, Liz & Zach Lipner, Betty & Greg Murphy, Barbara Reisman & Eric Scherzer, Jane & Harvey Susswein in honor of Olivia Schmeltz’s baby naming.

From Luis and Vivian Schuchinski in honor of Betty Murphy’s birthday to help beautify Bnai Keshet

From Lois and Marty Infeld in honor of Betty Murphy’s birthday, to help beautify Bnai Keshet

From Lois and Marty Infeld in memory of Joseph Fleischer’s sister Phyllis Pitt

From Stephanie Zagoren in memory Marc Alan Zagoren, Bernard Brill, and Esther Brill

From Vivian and Luis Schuchinski in memory of Osher Chaim Schuchinsky

From Susan Youdovin in memory of Stuart Brown’s father Robert Brown

From Stuart Kuritsky and Amy Bard in memory of Lois Kuritsky

From Debbie Wohl in memory of Avram Chill, Louis Levenson, and Ruth Schuman

From Susan Youdovin in honor of Rebecca Meyer’s marriage

From Susan Youdovin in honor of Malena Zafma’s Bat Mitzvah

From the BK Board & Congregation to Alan Lazarus for cooking the amazing dinner in the Sukkah

From Joan and Roger Streit in memory of Stuart Brown’s father

From Joan and Roger Streit in memory of Richard Polton’s mother

From Freyda and Alan Lazarus in memory of Richard Polton’s mother

From Judy Zipkowitz to Phoebe Farber and Craig Levine in honor of Isabel’s Bat Mitzvah

From Andy Glassman in memory of Max Gottesman

From Joan and Roger Streit in memory of Kurt Weinberg

From Susan Cohen and Barry Berg in memory of George Cohen

From Susan Cohen and Barry Berg in memory of David Berg

From Freda and Andy Attinson in memory of Seymour Moncarz

t r ibutesDecember 2012

Page 11: BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

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Kislev/Tevet 5773

t r ibutes

Tributes

What is a Tribute? A tribute is a great way to tell someone you care. Perhaps you wish to acknowledge a life cycle event, a simcha, or just let someone know you’re thinking of them.

Bnai Keshet Bookplate

Celebrate and remember with a Bnai Keshet bookplate. Whether it is a life cycle event, a special occasion, or to honor a dearly beloved with a lasting memorial, dedicate a Shabbat siddur, a humash, or a High Holy Day mahzor to your family or friends. A bookplate will be placed in the book of your choice along with your personal inscription. Each time the book is opened your dedication will be reaffirmed.

• I would like to purchase a bookplate in memory of: _________________________________________

___ siddur @ $36 ___ mahzor @ $54 ___ Etz Hayim @ $72

Total Bookplates: $ ______

• I would like to make a donation to Bnai Keshet in memory/honor of: ________________________________________ Increments of $18 are suggested.

___ chai @ $18___ two times chai @ $36___ three times chai @ $54___ other

Total: $ ________

Check is enclosed _____ Use my credit card on file at BK office _____

Name on credit card: ________________________ Credit card number: _________________________Expiration date: ___________

If you would like to follow the tradition of making a contribution to Bnai Keshet in memory of or in honor of a loved one, please call the BK office, or fill out the form below and mail it to BK, or donate online (www.bnaikeshet.org) through Chaver-Web.

From Luis and Vivian Schuchinski in memory of Joel Ackelsberg’s father, Robert Ackelsberg

From Alfred & Rosemary Iversen in honor of Ben Weintraub

From Beth Rubin & David Wish in memory of Evelyn Langa

From Luis and Vivian Schuchinski in honor of Anita Farber’s 70th birthday

From Sarah, Rachel, Emily and Jane Srebro in memory of Emanuel Srebro

From Ivy Fischer & Deb Glessner, Liz & Zach Lipner, Betty & Greg Murphy, Barbara Reisman & Eric Scherzer, Jane & Harvey Susswein in memory of Emanuel Srebro

From Ivy Fischer & Deb Glessner, Liz & Zach Lipner, Betty & Greg Murphy, Barbara Reisman & Eric Scherzer, Jane & Harvey Susswein to Noemi Giszpenc and Paul Fitzpatrick, and to Annie and Wladimir Giszpenc in honor of Helen’s baby naming

Donations of Prayer Books

Siddur donated by Amy Bard and Stuart Kuritsky in memory of Penny Bard

Bnai Keshet mourns the loss of our dear member, Larry Levey. Our thoughts are with Judy. May Larry’s legacy live on in all of us.

Brown
Page 12: BK December 2012 Rainbow Reporter

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The Rainbow ReporterBnai Keshet’s Quarterly Newsletter

Rabbi: Elliott TeppermanAssociate Rabbi: Darby Jared LeighDirector of Congregational Learning: Rabbi Ariann Weitzman Co-Presidents: Richard Freedman & Craig LevineVP Ritual Life & Tikkun Olam: Jordan SklarVP Membership & Community Development: Cheryl Marshall-PetricoffVP Development: Charles RosenVP Education: Ruth LowenkronTreasurer: Richard PoltonSecretary: Marian GolanDirector of Operations: Stuart BrownAssistant Director of Operations: Nadia Christiansen

Editors: Laurie Waite-Fellner & Lois Infeld Associate Editor: Judith Kalmanson

We welcome articles Contact Lois at: [email protected]

Rabbi Elliott Tepperman Rabbi’s Study: 973-783-2511 E-mail: [email protected]

Rabbi Darby Jared Leigh Rabbi’s Study: 973-746-7588 Home Study: 973-508-0876 E-mail: [email protected] Rabbi Ariann Weitzman School Office: 973-746-0244 E-mail: [email protected] Office (Mon. – Fri.)Synagogue office: 973-746-4889 Fax: 973-746-4963 E-mail: [email protected]: www.bnaikeshet.org Please contact Stuart Brown, Director of Operations, for more information.

Brown
Bnai Keshet Reconstructionist Synagogue 99 South Fullerton Avenue Montclair, NJ 07042

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