The Essential Five-Point Marriage Check Up

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Bloom!Bloom!

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

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Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

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Trusts in the LORDDelights in the law of the LORDOn his law meditates day and night

Leaves are always greenNever fails to bear fruitDoes not wither in the heat

Does not walk in the counsel of the wickedHeart is deceitful above all things

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Question: How do you know the health of your marriage?

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Brian Brian Rhen:Rhen:• Pastor• Marriage Coach• Married• Kids

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The Bloom The Bloom Five-Point Five-Point Marriage Marriage Check UpCheck Up

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What it takes to What it takes to BLOOM!BLOOM!The 5 key nutrients:The 5 key nutrients:

•Commit to LoveCommit to Love•Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect•Be Gracious & ForgiveBe Gracious & Forgive•Choose the Right Choose the Right WordsWords•Seek a Greater Seek a Greater PurposePurpose

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COMMIT To COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVE“sacrificial” LOVE

DAILY

YEARLY

SEASONALLY

This is my command: Love (agape) each other. John 15:17

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COMMIT TO COMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVE“sacrificial” LOVE

-WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT -QUALITY TIME -GIFTS-ACTS OF SERVICE -PHYSICAL TOUCH 

5 Love Languages

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CHECKUP QUESTION #1

How committed are you to love?

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Committed to love?

husband

wife

completeroom to improve

room

to im

pro

ve

com

ple

te

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CHERISH & RESPECT CHERISH & RESPECT However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33

with cherish

with respect

she responds

he respon

ds

she reacts

he reacts

without respect

without cherish

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CHECKUP QUESTION #2

What is the degree you feel cherished (wife) and respected (husband?)

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Cherished and Respected?

husband

wife

respectedroom to improve

room

to im

pro

ve

cheri

shed

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BE GRACIOUS & BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVEFORGIVE

 

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Grace leaves space for error

“an attitude”

Forgivenessreleases

“a process”

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CHECKUP QUESTION #3

How capable are you of being gracious and of forgiving?

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Gracious and Forgiving?

husband

wife

completeroom to improve

room

to im

pro

ve

com

ple

te

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CHOOSE THE RIGHT CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSWORDS

 

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. James 1:19

Argument REACTING the other

Destructive offensive, names, sarcasm, violent = scarring

Disagreement REACTING issue

Harsh defensive, personalities arise = separating

Normal dialogue RESPONDING each other Kind attentive, encouraging = supporting

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CHOOSE THE RIGHT CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSWORDS

 

CIRCUMSTANCE

EMOTIONS Hurt, Fear,

Want, Joy

THOUGHTS

3 sec.

with self

REACT “FLESH

”

with God

RESPOND

“SPIRIT”

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CHOOSE THE RIGHT CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSWORDS

 

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CHOOSE THE RIGHT CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSWORDS

 

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CHECKUP QUESTION #4

Are you using the right words in your communication?

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SEEK A GREATER SEEK A GREATER PURPOSEPURPOSE

 

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8

People seldom hit what they do not

aim at.”

Thoreau

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SEEK A GREATER SEEK A GREATER PURPOSEPURPOSE

•Marriage Purpose Statement•Marriage Verse•Values (being)•Goals (doing)•Dreams•Prayer

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8

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CHECKUP QUESTION #5

How purposeful is your marriage?

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BLOOM!

Where are you?

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FINAL CHECKUP FINAL CHECKUP Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) - 5(strong)- 5(strong)

___Commit to Love___Commit to Love___Cherish & Respect___Cherish & Respect___Be Gracious & ___Be Gracious & ForgiveForgive___Choose the Right ___Choose the Right WordsWords___Seek a Greater ___Seek a Greater PurposePurpose

Do you want to Do you want to grow in any of grow in any of

these five areas?these five areas?

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A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE

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Bloom!Bloom!

• 5-weeks5-weeks of live webinars of live webinars (1 per week)• 1-year1-year of group tele-coaching of group tele-coaching (1 per month)• LifetimeLifetime access to recorded access to recorded materials materials (including updated materials)• 5-weeks 5-weeks of follow-up e-course (1 per week)

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• 15% 15% of proceeds donated

• Vision Abolition Vision Abolition – – building

homes and providing care for

girls in Fiji

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When is Bloom?When is Bloom?5 Wednesdays

Time: 7:30 PM – 9:00 PST

Starts February 2, 2011

February 9, February 16

March 2, March 9

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Sign up todaySign up today

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http://bit.ly/blkYPM