Emanuel Congregation

B’nai Mitzvah

Handbook

Revised: 7.15.15

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

What is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

The Mitzvah of Tzedakah .................................................................................................................1

Student Preparation .........................................................................................................................2

Required Shabbat Services Attendance

Tutoring by the Cantor and Rabbi

Friday Evening Service

Speech

Tallit/Kippah

Torah Study

Administrative Planning for Parents ................................................................................................3

Orientation Meetings

B’nai Mitzvah Fees and Security Cost

Emanuel Bulletin

Rehearsal

Decorations for the Bima

Administrative Planning: Friday Evening .......................................................................................3-4

Friday Shabbat dinner

Family Honors on Friday Evening

Oneg Shabbat

Administrative Planning: Shabbat Morning ..................................................................................5-6

Family Honors on Shabbat Morning

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Program

Shabbat Morning Kiddush Following Service

Invitations

Transportation and Parking

Photography and Recording

Administrative Planning: Celebration at Emanuel .......................................................................6-8

Facilities Information – General

Room Rental for Luncheons/Dinners

Additional Fee for Security Services

Community Hall Rental

Rental of WRJ China

Music

Food: Kitchen and Refrigerators

Liability

Alcohol/Smoking

Supervision

Washrooms

Frequently Asked Questions ...........................................................................................................9

Contact Information .........................................................................................................................10

Attachments and Forms

Honors ........................................................................................................................A

Review Sheet for Parents .........................................................................................B

Parent Check List ......................................................................................................C

Financial Worksheet .................................................................................................D

Student Signature Page ...........................................................................................E

Parent Signature Page .............................................................................................F

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EMANUEL CONGREGATION BAR/BAT MITZVAH RITUAL INFORMATION

‘Mazel Tov’ on the occasion of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah! It is our hope that

Emanuel Congregation will continue to share in your family’s happy life cycle events.

Listed below are items that will need your attention in the months and weeks before

this milestone event in your child's life. If you have any questions or if we can be of

assistance to you, please feel free to contact us at (773) 561-5173.

Michael R. Zedek, Senior Rabbi, Michelle Drucker Friedman, Congregational Cantor,

Rabbi Toby H. Manewith, Director of Education, Elizabeth Cohen, Synagogue Director

WHAT IS A BAR/BAT MITZVAH?

Bar or Bat Mitzvah is what a young person becomes by simply becoming thirteen. As Rabbi Jeffrey

Salkin explains in Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child’s Bar

or Bat Mitzvah, “It is not an event or a ceremony. It is not a verb, as in ‘The rabbi bar mitzvahed my son.’

Bar or Bat Mitzvah literally translates as ‘son or daughter of the commandment.’ What it really means is

‘old enough to be responsible for mitzvot.’ Mitzvot are the commandments that a Jew observes in

order not only to live a Jewish life, but also to sanctify life.” At Emanuel we strive to make sure our

students understand this is the beginning of their journey towards being an engaged member of the

Jewish community, and the journey continues by participation in the high school Stepping Stones

program and Confirmation. Think about and talk to your child about what Bar/Bat Mitzvah means to

you and how it relates to the rest of your life. You may find helpful the books listed below:

Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child’s Bar or Bat

Mitzvah by Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin

Bar and Bat Mitzvah Mitzvah Book by Danny Siegel

Bar and Bat Mitzvah Book: Joyful Ceremonies & Celebrations for Today’s Families by Linda Burghardt

THE MITZVAH OF TZEDAKAH

STUDENT PROJECT Part of Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation includes each student engaging in a mitzvah project. The project should

be one the student is interested in pursuing, and can be undertaken individually, or with family or friends.

Ideally, the project involves the student investigating an issue or problem, and then identifying and/or initiating

an effort to address that problem. The issue can be local, national or global in scope, and the Mitzvah Project

may include a new or individual response, or participating in an established program or effort. Speak with the

Cantor or Rabbi for guidance or ideas about the project. Most Bar/Bat Mitzvahs also pledge a small portion of

the monetary gifts they receive as tzedakah to a charity or cause of their choice.

OPPORTUNITY FOR FAMILY GIFT A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a wonderful life cycle event and religious celebration. It is a true simcha for the family and

the Emanuel community. Our tradition tells us the generosity of Tzedakah is the appropriate way to

commemorate the occasion, and signal to the Congregation a deep appreciation for the efforts of the clergy,

lay leadership and community. The Congregation asks that you make a donation or pledge to Emanuel in

honor of (or as part of) your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah and in so doing demonstrate an interest and willingness to

take part in the responsibility (Mitzvah) of the continuity of our people. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation and

services recognize and demonstrate your child’s assumption of an independent role within Emanuel and in the

greater Jewish community. Likewise, this is a timely and important opportunity for the parents to participate in

the Mitzvah of Tzedakah. A financial contribution by the parents to Emanuel helps ensure the current and future

well-being of our Congregation which has nurtured your child in his or her journey, and gladly celebrates this

simcha with you and your entire family. A donation or pledge equal to 13% of the anticipated costs of the

entire event is suggested

.

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STUDENT PREPARATION

SHABBAT SERVICE ATTENDANCE

Your child must attend a minimum of three Shabbat morning services and two Friday night services at

Emanuel (preferably a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service) in the year preceding the date of your child’s Bar/Bat

Mitzvah. A form for your child to complete and submit is attached. The clergy strongly urge you to

attend those services with them, so that you are familiar with the structure of the service and the role of

the family members. Your child will have spent a great deal of time and effort preparing, and your

familiarity with the service will allow you to enjoy it as fully as possible.

TUTORING BY THE CANTOR AND RABBI

Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation at Emanuel is done with a high regard for the uniqueness of each Bar/Bat

Mitzvah student, but generally involves one to two sessions per week with the Cantor for a period of

approximately six months, not including vacation. The Rabbi will also be meeting with the student to

help him/her with their D'var Torah, a brief speech explaining the Torah portion. In addition, the Rabbi

will have a family meeting with the immediate family approximately one month prior to the Bar/ Bat

Mitzvah. Any additional tutoring required will be arranged in accordance with the provisions of the

Emanuel Religious School’s Parents’ Handbook.

FRIDAY EVENING SERVICE

Bar/Bat Mitzvah students are expected to participate in the Friday night service of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah

weekend. He/she will lead the Congregation in some of the prayers and carry the Torah during the

Hakafah (circumambulation of the Sanctuary).

As a reminder, Emanuel’s monthly Share Shabbat early service (6:30pm) usually occurs on the second

Friday of the month. On Share Shabbat evenings, Torah blessings are recited by the entire

congregation and candle lighting, Motzei and recitation of the Kiddush are in Lederer Hall just prior to

the dinner. On all Friday nights please note that the service may include other celebrations or

communal events, which will necessitate the sharing of Honors.

SPEECH (D’VAR TORAH)

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will give a short speech called the D’var Torah during the Shabbat morning service.

Writing the D’var Torah involves some thought about how the Torah portion relates to the student’s life

as well as acknowledgement of those who have helped him/her prepare. The Rabbi works with each

student to prepare this piece.

TALLIT/KIPPOT

Tallitot (prayer shawls) and Kippot (head coverings) are always available at Emanuel for worshippers.

Some families purchase additional Kippot for their guests. You may also wish to present a Tallit to the

Bar/Bat Mitzvah at the beginning of the Shabbat morning worship experience, which he/she will then

wear. Wearing the Tallit symbolizes his/her coming of age in the Jewish tradition, since only adults

wear Tallitot in Jewish worship. It is our hope that from that point on, he /she will choose to wear it

regularly during worship.

TORAH STUDY

We suggest you read your child’s Torah portion with him/ her. Study guides are available online, below

are some suggested links:

http://www.urj.org/shabbat http://urj.org/torah/index.html http://www.g-dcast.com/

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ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING FOR PARENTS

ORIENTATION MEETINGS

During your child’s 5th and 6th grade years, there will be mandatory meetings held for parents, during

which the clergy and synagogue staff will share information on preparing for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Attendance at these meetings is part of the preparation process and is required in order to stay on

track with your scheduled date.

B’NAI MITZVAH FEES and SECURITY COST

The $750 Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee covers preparation and administration through the Saturday service.

There is also a $200 charge for Security provided during services. (Additional Security fees may be

incurred for any celebration held at the Temple following services.) You will be billed for the Bar/Bat

Mitzvah fee and Security cost approximately one year prior to the event. Payment must be made in full

prior to commencement of tutoring. Please note that the family of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be

members in good standing for the event to take place. (ALL FEES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.)

EMANUEL BULLETIN

In the month(s) before your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you will be contacted by a member of Emanuel's

Communications Committee with questions for your child to answer so we can write a short article

about him/her to be included in Emanuel’s e-Bulletin.

REHEARSAL

The Cantor will contact you to set up a rehearsal during the week prior to your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

DECORATIONS FOR THE BIMA (Friday and Saturday)

Many families choose to decorate the Bima in ways that reflect the Jewish value of Tzedakah. One

such way is to arrange with the office to have colorful, symbolic food baskets in front of the podiums,

symbolizing a donation made by the B’nai Mitzvah family to one of the Clergy’s discretionary funds.

These funds are used for charitable purposes consistent with the Synagogue's tax exempt purposes,

to assist individual, educational and communal needs.

If you choose to decorate the Bima with flowers, please note: The Cantor is allergic to various flowers,

so please consult with the office before ordering flowers. The container on the Bima holds a 10” round

pot, and the arrangements should be no taller than three (3) feet. Please contact the office for florists

Emanuel uses regularly.

ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING: FRIDAY EVENING

FRIDAY SHABBAT DINNER

Space may be available for rental at Emanuel if you wish to host a Shabbat dinner for your family.

Contact the office about space availability. If your Bar/Bat Mitzvah is on a Share Shabbat weekend,

we encourage you to invite your family to the service and dinner. Please speak to the office about

reservations.

FAMILY HONORS ON FRIDAY EVENING (forms attached)

If there are no additional celebrations on a Friday night, you are encouraged to choose family or

friends who may perform the Honors during the Friday evening service of your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah

weekend. Please consult the Cantor to clarify available Honors.

Including the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in these decisions has proven to be enriching for them. Honors to be

performed by a Jew over the age of 13 may include: lighting the Shabbat candles (can be more than

one person), Torah blessings (one or two people), Hagba (the lifting of the Torah) and G’liliah (the

dressing of the Torah). Additionally, the honor of opening and closing the Ark can be performed by

either a Jew or non-Jew and can be done by those under the age of 13. Blessings may be read in

Hebrew or English.

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You must contact the Cantor at least three (3) weeks in advance to confirm the list of people

participating in the Honors. This list of Honors will be published in Shabbat Notes, which is distributed

before Friday and Saturday services. If you have any questions regarding the participation of non-

Jewish family or friends in the service, please ask the Cantor or Rabbi. Please note: All participants in

the Friday evening service must be at Emanuel by 7:30 p.m. for a brief rehearsal. (If the Friday is a Share

Shabbat, participants must to be at Emanuel by 6:00 p.m.)

ONEG SHABBAT (FRIDAY EVENING)

Oneg Shabbat means “joy of Shabbat,” and refers to the refreshments served after the Friday evening

service. In addition to participating in the services, families are encouraged to host the Oneg Shabbat

of their child’s Bar/ Bat Mitzvah. You will need to discuss these plans, and those for any other event

taking place at the Synagogue, with the office.

Typically, Emanuel’s Women of Reform Judaism/Sisterhood/WRJ are responsible for the Onegs. The

range of options, depending on the size of your gathering and your budget, are listed below:

Sweet and Simple: You bring the food (8 cakes, cookies, fruit, etc.) and the WRJ will do the rest.

Coffee and tea are provided*. WRJ will also handle the plating, serving and clean up for you. A

minimum donation of $54 for up to 60 people.

One Wonderful Oneg: Make it easy to do. WRJ will supply a selection of cakes and fresh fruit along

with coffee and tea*. WRJ will also handle the plating, serving and clean up for you. A minimum

donation of $150 for up to 60 people. Add $2 per person for additional guests.

Full and Fancy: Let WRJ handle everything. WRJ will provide a selection of cakes and cookies,

coffee and tea*, fresh fruit, candy, flowers – the works! You can relax and enjoy your simcha. WRJ

will also handle the plating, serving and clean up for you. A minimum donation of $300 for up to 60

people. Add $3 per person for additional guests.

Emanuel Sisterhood’s Famous Punch: Two punch bowls per order for $40.

*Cups and saucers, decaffeinated coffee, tea, sugar, powdered creamer, stirrers and napkins are

provided by the Temple and served by volunteers that evening. You may want to provide such

specialty items as milk, cream or flavored teas. Please avoid gooey treats, or cakes that are time-

consuming to slice and serve. (Recommended minimum amounts: 8 cakes, candy, cookies, and two

bowls of fruit. )PLEASE NOTE THAT NO NUTS OR NUT PRODUCTS SHOULD BE SERVED AT THE TEMPLE.

After discussion with the Synagogue office staff, please contact the WRJ/Sisterhood liaison at least six

(6) weeks before the event to discuss your needs. The WRJ would like to make this special occasion

just right. Please also discuss with her any food or drink preferences, allergies, restrictions or requests

you may have so that we can accommodate them.

Please remember that at Emanuel, everyone who attends the preceding service is welcome at the

Oneg. The 30-40 regular attendees should be included when doing a headcount. All food delivery

must be pre-arranged with the office. Limited refrigerator and freezer space is available to bring food

in advance. Some of the food remaining after the Oneg is incorporated in platters prepared for Rabbi

Schaalman's Torah study and the Stitching Ladies.

If other celebrations or special occasions occur on the same Friday night, the Oneg may be co-

sponsored by multiple families or groups. The office and the WRJ can let you know if this is the case for

your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. If your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration is the same weekend as a Share

Shabbat, there is no Oneg, but you are welcome to bring a special dessert. Please contact the office

to coordinate the details.

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ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING: SHABBAT MORNING

FAMILY HONORS ON SHABBAT MORNING (form attached)

You and your child are encouraged to choose family or friends to perform the Honors that take place

during the Shabbat morning service. There are opportunities for Jews and non-Jews to participate.

Please contact the Cantor for details. Additionally, there are the traditional Aliyot to be performed by

Jews over the age of 13. These include the reading or chanting of Torah blessings that precede and

follow each section of the Torah read that morning by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. There may be up to seven

such sections. These blessings may be read or chanted in Hebrew or English. CCheck with the Cantor

to learn how many sections your child will be reading. Often grandparents, if participating, read the

first Aliyah. The parent(s) generally read the next to the last Aliyah and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah chants the

last set of blessings. Each Aliyah (set of before and after blessings) can be read by one person or

shared by two.

You must contact the Cantor at least three (3) weeks in advance to confirm the list of people

participating in the Honors. This list of Honors will be published in Shabbat Notes, which is distributed

before Friday evening and Shabbat morning services. Please note: All participants in the Shabbat

morning service must be at Emanuel by 10:15 a.m. for a brief rehearsal with the Cantor. This is to make

certain that participants know both their parts and the place in the service when they shall be called

upon.

If you would like Ruthie Seidner to provide music as part of the Shabbat morning service, you must

contact her directly to make arrangements.

BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICE PROGRAM

Many families choose to provide a program for their guests that describes the service and identifies

those family members and friends who will be honored during the ceremony. If you would like to

create a program, the office can provide samples for you to review. The program text must be

provided to the Cantor for review two (2) weeks before the event date to avoid errors.

SHABBAT MORNING KIDDUSH FOLLOWING SERVICE

You are asked to host the Community Kiddush the Saturday morning of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

This involves providing the wine, juice and challah to be served. If there is not a luncheon, you may

want to serve additional sweets. Unless you are expecting a large attendance, three one-pound

challot should be sufficient for the Kiddush.

INVITATIONS

Shabbat morning services begin at 11:00 am sharp. Consider stating a start time of 10:45 a.m. on

the invitations to ensure guests arrive timely.

We recommend that all Hebrew on the invitation be proofed by the Cantor before printing to

avoid errors.

We expect families to invite the other students in their child’s religious school class to celebrate with

them. A class list is available upon request from the office.

Please keep in mind that the clergy will not attend an event following a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service

unless they receive an invitation.

TRANSPORTATION AND PARKING

Emanuel’s parking lot has spots for approximately 60 cars. If you believe more parking is needed

for your guests, please contact the office to discuss alternative parking arrangements. This must be

done no less than three weeks prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Please note that any prepaid valet

parking offered by your family must be available for all worshippers.

If you are using a bus to transport your guests, please confirm the details with the office.

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PHOTOGRAPHY AND RECORDING

There is no photography permitted during the service. For still pictures you may wish to have photos

taken a few days in advance in the Sanctuary. You must schedule any photo sessions in advance with

the office. If you wish the Rabbi and Cantor to be part of this photo session, you will need to arrange

this time with them well in advance.

Recording is allowed during the service only if the video camera is set up on a tripod, turned on prior to

the beginning of the service and left alone to run. No special lighting is permitted. The Cantor can

show you the best positioning of the video camera.

ADMINISTRATIVE PLANNING: CELEBRATIONS AT EMANUEL You may wish to host a luncheon following services in celebration of your simcha. Please contact the

office as early as possible to discuss your plans. Also, if hosting a luncheon following services, please

invite the Emanuel community attending Shabbat morning services to join in the celebration. This

usually involves setting one extra table at your celebration. If you tell the Rabbi, he will extend the

invitation during announcements made before the conclusion of the service.

FACILITIES INFORMATION: GENERAL Emanuel’s facilities may be reserved by members of the Congregation, subject to the availability of the

facility based on the Temple calendar and programming. All functions, including an augmented

Kiddush or a luncheon, must be scheduled through the office. If you choose to host a celebration at

Emanuel, you must notify the office at least three months prior to the event to ensure that the space you

desire will be available. Reservations are only final and binding upon receipt of the required deposits,

and upon placement of the event on the Temple’s master calendar. Only those specific areas and

facilities arranged for in advance may be used for the event.

The room fee (see schedule attached) includes set up and removal of tables, chairs, and other

arranged equipment (microphones, podiums, etc.).

It is the responsibility of the family to provide the set-up information, including any necessary floor

plans and delivery schedules, to the office at least two weeks in advance of the function.

Fees DO NOT include setting the tables, set up of food, clearing the tables, or cleaning the

kitchen.

Please see our policy for caterers who use our space at the end of this packet. It is the

responsibility of the family to ensure that these guidelines are met.

Absolutely nothing may be attached to the walls of the building.

ROOM RENTAL FOR LUNCHEONS/DINNERS

Fee for Security services: there is an incremental fee of $135 for Security services for a celebration held

at the Synagogue (for up to 3 hours).

The following guidelines apply to the rental of our community halls:

Lederer Hall can accommodate up to 250 people; the room rental fee for up to 125 people is

$500 and there is a $90 for each increment of up to 50 people over 125.

The Morris Room may be added to the rental of Lederer for an additional fee of $125.

The Congregation has twenty-two 60” large round tables available; each can seat 8 (comfortably) or 9

people. Fifteen long rectangular tables are also available (which seat 10); they measure 96" x 30".

The synagogue has 7 long tablecloths (90"x156") and 11 round tablecloths (120"round). One of the

rounds has a stain, which has safety pins around it for easy visibility.

Please note the following:

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A donation of any size to the Sisterhood/Emanuel WRJ is requested for the use of the tablecloths.

Tablecloths must be washed, folded and returned to Emanuel Congregation by Thursday of the

following week, and is the responsibility of the B’nai Mitzvah family.

Rentals are for a three-hour period, from 12:30 pm – 3:30 pm. An additional one-hour set-up time is

included in the fee, for a total of four hours. To offset increased maintenance and operating costs, if a

function or activity runs longer than four hours, each additional hour or fraction thereof will result in a

charge of $50.00 per custodial staff person per hour.

The WRJ/Sisterhood makes available its plain white china for $4.00 per place setting. This includes

silverware and glasses. Proceeds from the china rental contribute to the WRJ’s annual campership

program. Contact the office for the specific numbers of place settings available. Families are always

free to bring in rental china, glassware and silverware.

You will receive bills for the facility rental, dish rental and any other charges. These might include the

security, additional room rentals, special cleaning, or other miscellaneous charges.

MUSIC

Appropriate music may be performed in the Temple during Shabbat. The music volume must be kept

to a reasonable level during the entire function. If you are planning to engage a DJ or other musical

entertainment, that person(s) or you must discuss the programming with the Cantor prior to the event.

The Congregation’s pianos may be used, but permission for this must be secured well in advance from

the office. Tuning of the piano is the responsibility of the family, but must be coordinated with the

office.

FOOD: KITCHEN AND REFRIGERATORS

While the Congregation does not maintain a strictly kosher kitchen, no pork or shellfish may be served.

We also request that you refrain from serving dishes that combine meat and milk or have meat and

milk on the table simultaneously. In addition, during Passover, no leavened or other prohibited foods

may be served.

Kitchen use includes limited refrigerator and freezer space. If any food is put into the kitchen before

the function, make certain that it is marked clearly with the name and date of your function. All food

must be removed from the kitchen immediately after the function. Any food remaining in the

refrigerator will be made available to the Synagogue staff. Please consider making arrangements with

a local shelter to donate the remaining food. Please do not use any other food found in the

refrigerator whether it is marked or not. It belongs to another Temple group.

You should meet with the office staff at least three weeks in advance to discuss your specific room set-

ups and table settings.

You and/or your caterers are responsible for clean-up following events. This includes washing all dishes

and leaving the kitchen clean and orderly. Emanuel’s maintenance personnel will be on duty at all

times during catered events, but are responsible only for general assistance to the caterer in the

kitchen and for room set-up.

LIABILITY

The family agrees to indemnify and hold Emanuel Congregation harmless from any and all

claims for loss, injury, or damage to person and property while on the premises.

Caterers must provide a Certificate of Insurance and a refundable $500 security deposit to the

office at least three weeks prior to the event.

Emanuel Congregation assumes no responsibility for damage to or loss of personal property,

including vehicles, on the premises. All personal property brought to or left on the premises shall

be at the owner’s risk.

The family will be held responsible and will be billed for any loss, breakage, or damage to

Synagogue equipment or property arising from the event.

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ALCOHOL/SMOKING

If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family chooses to serve alcoholic beverages, the family assumes all responsibility

and risk and specifically agrees to indemnify and hold the Temple, its officers, board, members and

employees harmless from liability, judgment, or damages resulting from serving alcoholic beverages.

Alcohol should be served only under adult supervision.

Emanuel Congregation is a non-smoking facility.

SUPERVISION

It is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parents’ responsibility to supervise their guests during the service, and the

luncheon following the service. The only parts of the building open to the participants are the

designated social hall, the coatroom, and the washrooms. NO ONE should be on the second floor, in

the sanctuary (after the service), the library or the rear hallways. Costs for damages and/or excessive

maintenance (clean up) will be assessed to the sponsoring family. Please make sure that your guests,

especially the children, follow the proper decorum of the Synagogue. We advise selecting a family

friend to keep an eye on groups of children sitting together.

WASHROOMS

Providing paper hand towels (100 total) and flowers (6 bud vases or 4 small plants) for each washroom

is a nice touch.

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Can a non-Jew be called up for an Aliyah?

Only a Jew over the age of 13 may recite a Torah blessing. However, a non-Jew may accompany

his/her Jewish spouse to the Torah when that spouse approaches to read a Torah blessing.

How can younger siblings of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah participate in the service?

Younger siblings of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah may assist an adult with candle lighting on Friday night, opening

or closing the ark, or dressing of the Torah. Please talk to the Cantor if you have any questions.

Must I invite my child’s entire Religious School class to our celebration?

It is expected at Emanuel Congregation that all of your child’s classmates will be included in the

service and celebration.

I’m not planning on using a caterer, but I want to serve a simple lunch to my guests. What do I need to

know?

You will need to hire assistants or coordinate volunteers who will: set up paper goods, receive the

deliveries, put food on trays, put food out on serving tables at the proper time, replenish food on

serving tables, clear tables, pack up leftover food, deliver food to local shelters, and clean up the

kitchen. The maintenance staff is responsible only for set-up/take-down of tables and chairs.

Where can I order a large challah?

Large challot can be ordered from any of the Jewish bakeries in Chicago, such as North Shore Bakery

or the Breadsmith in Skokie. A congregant also has a baking business, her details can be found on the

contact page attached. Please remember that North Shore closes before sundown on Fridays.

Is there a way to express appreciation to the Rabbi and Cantor for their assistance?

While no gifts are required or expected, it is customary to consider a donation to the Clergy

Discretionary Funds in honor of your Simcha. Such gifts are used to benefit causes and individuals in

need, and this enlarges the circle of your celebration.

Are there alternatives to Bima flowers?

As an alternative, some families make a donation to a local charity or a Clergy Discretionary Fund in

lieu of flowers. A lovely basket of canned food can be displayed on the Bima to represent the

donation. Contact the office for details.

What is “appropriate” music that can be performed at a party at Emanuel?

First, a definition of inappropriate music. Such would include: very loud music, music with explicit sexual

lyrics, foul language, etc. Certainly, Klezmer and classical music are appropriate to the spirit of

Shabbat. Other forms of party music should be evaluated by how well they fit the spirit of Shabbat.

Please talk to the Cantor if you have questions.

Where can I donate leftover food from my event?

There are many local shelters and soup kitchens that would welcome donations of food. Some to

consider are: Harper House, 4715 N Sheridan, 773-784-5698; the Inspiration Cafe, 4540 N Broadway, 773-

878-0981; and Good News Soup Kitchen, 7649 N Paulina, 773-262-2277.

FURTHER QUESTIONS?

If you have any other questions regarding the facilities of Emanuel Congregation, please contact the

office. If you have any other questions regarding the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, please talk to Cantor

Friedman during your child’s preparation period or call her at 773-561-5173. There are also many

Bar/Bat Mitzvah party-planning-event checklist-type books available which you may find helpful.

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CONTACT INFORMATION

Emanuel Congregation ....................................................... 773 561 5173

Cantor Michelle Drucker Friedman .................................... ext 32

................................................................................................. CantorFriedman@emanuelcong.org

Rabbi Zedek ........................................................................... ext 25

................................................................................................. RabbiZedek@emanuelcong.org

B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator ................................................... reservations@emanuelcong.org

Ruthie Seidner: ...................................................................... roosei@msn.com

Marcelle Lynn Waitsman (for challot) ................................ 773 761 2684

WRJ/Sisterhood liaison Rachelle Sheffer ............................ rachelsheffer@comcast.net

A HONORS FORM To be filled out by parents and returned to the Cantor: CantorFriedman@emanuelcong.org

NO LATER than 3 weeks prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

PLEASE PRINT CLEARLY

NAMES (PLEASE NOTE HOW YOU WANT LAST NAMES TO BE PRINTED)

Full English Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Full Hebrew Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Son or Daughter of: Parent One’s English Name:

Parent One’s Hebrew Name:

Son or Daughter of: Parent Two’s English Name:

Parent Two’s Hebrew Name:

FRIDAY NIGHT HONORS

Candle Lighter(s) (family of Bar/Bat Mitzvah):

Ark Attendants (two people): 1) 2)

Torah Blessing (one or two people) for Friday night honors; Hebrew names are not necessary.

1) 2)

SHABBAT MORNING HONORS

Will a Tallit be presented? □ Yes □ No If yes, by whom?:

Ark Attendants (two people): 1) 2)

Hagba (lifting the Torah; MUST be present for pre-service rehearsal):

G’liliah (dressing the Torah):

TORAH BLESSINGS (one or two people for each):

English Names Hebrew Names The formula is: Hebrew Name of Honoree Bar/Bat (son or

daughter) of Hebrew name of Parent 1 v’(and) Hebrew

name of Parent 2

Aliyot:

1) Grandparents (if participating):

2)

3)

4)

5)

6) (Parents)

7) (Bar / Bat Mitzvah)

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Name: Date of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

B SUMMARY OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH ARRANGEMENTS

Please use this as a guide to inform your discussion with our B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator. You will be

contacted no later than 6 weeks prior to your event to ensure you and the Temple are in agreement

about the arrangements for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

How many guests do you anticipate? Adults: Children under 14: Total:

Are you using the temple facilities for Shabbat dinner on Friday?

If so, have you submitted room set up request?

Are you arranging for the Oneg on Friday night?

If so, have you contacted the WRJ?

Are you serving food or a meal at the Temple after Shabbat morning services?

If so, have you submitted room set up request?

If you are using a caterer, does the office have the certificate of liability and security deposit?

Caterer: Contact Info:

POLICY FOR CATERERS WHO USE OUR PREMISES

A certificate of liability and a $500.00 security deposit must be in two weeks before the party’s

date.

All deliveries must be made to Emanuel Congregation no later than 2:00 PM on Friday, unless

previously arranged.

No deliveries are accepted on Saturday.

All dishes must be washed and put back in cupboards.

All wine, champagne, and water glasses must be washed and put back in cupboards.

All silverware must be dried and put back in the divided bins.

All serving trays must be washed and put away.

All counters and sinks must be cleaned.

The stove must be cleaned.

All garbage must be placed in the garbage bins outdoors.

Floors must be swept and mopped.

Are you having a band, DJ or other entertainment?

If so, please provide details:

Are you using WRJ dishes on Friday Night? Saturday? Both? # place settings?

Will you need additional parking on Saturday morning?

If so, have you arranged through the office?

Are you paying for that parking?

Have you arranged for delivery of wine, juice and challah no later than 2 p.m. Friday?

Have you prepared a written program for services?

If so, has it been reviewed by the Cantor?

Are you providing flowers or a food basket for the bima?

If flowers, have you accommodated the Cantor’s allergies?

Name of florist: Contact Info:

Please note delivery must be made before 2 p.m. Friday

Have you arranged for Ruthie Seidner to participate in Shabbat morning services?

C PARENT CHECK LIST

Some of the following dates are suggestions, some are deadlines. This checklist is meant to serve as

a planning tool as you look ahead to your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Above on page 10, you will find

contact information for individuals at Emanuel who will assist you in making your arrangements.

2 YEARS BEFORE:

Attend the mandatory B’nai Mitzvah Orientation Meeting when child is in 5th grade.

Ensure your child attends religious school regularly so he/she will be prepared.

Begin planning for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah project.

15 MONTHS BEFORE:

Attend some Friday night and Shabbat morning services (a minimum of 3 Saturday morning

and 2 Friday night).

12 MONTHS (1 YEAR PRIOR)

Attend mandatory B’nai Mitzvah Orientation Meeting when child is in 6th grade.

Coordinate your mitzvah project with the Rabbi and Cantor.

Contact hotels for room blocks, if necessary.

6 MONTHS BEFORE

Set up a time to meet with the Rabbi about speeches.

Discuss with B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator your space requirements and tentative plans for

celebration.

Contact Ruthie Seidner to determine if she is available to participate in the Saturday morning

service.

Begin finalizing your event plans (e.g. caterer, music, etc).

3 to 6 MONTHS BEFORE

Consult with the Cantor regarding the details of the Service your child will be leading (e.g.

number of Aliyot).

Ask family and friends to perform Honors at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (refer them to resources for

practice of relevant blessings).

Order invitations, contact florists or make other Bima decoration arrangements, identify

caterer, order Kippot, etc.

2 MONTHS BEFORE

Schedule and meet with the Rabbi to prepare D’var Torah .

Respond to the Emanuel e-Bulletin inquiry with a photo and a short biography for inclusion in

the e-Bulletin.

Pay any and all room rental fees if you are using our facility.

E-mail the Cantor the draft list of family and friends performing Honors , including Hebrew

names of those reciting blessings.

Prepare a program for the services, if desired.

3 WEEKS BEFORE

Contact office with final room diagrams, menus, parking arrangements, Bima decorations,etc.

Submit completed ‘Summary of Bar/Bat Mitzvah Arrangements’ to the office.

Email a final draft of your “Honors List” to the Cantor.

Schedule rehearsal, including photography, through the Cantor.

1 WEEK BEFORE

Turn in a copy of any program for the service to the office.

Make reservations for Share Shabbat dinner, if applicable.

FRIDAY, WEEK OF

All deliveries (flowers, food, etc.) must be delivered by 2 pm Friday. No Deliveries on Saturday.

D B’NAI MITZVAH WORKSHEET

Please note: all fees are subject to change

Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee $ 750.00

Bima decorations (flowers/food baskets) $

Room rental for lunch/dinner $

(There is no charge for Kiddush only)

Rental of WRJ/Sisterhood dishes $

Security for services $ 200.00

Additional security $

Tzedakah (suggested contribution is 13% of the cost of the event)

$

Other $

$

TOTAL $

Fee Schedule:

Additional security for celebration at Emanuel ................ $135.00

Lederer Room rent for:

125 people .............................................................................. $500.00

125-175 .................................................................................... $590.00

175-225 .................................................................................... $680.00

225+ ......................................................................................... $770.00

Morris Room ............................................................................ $125.00

Each place setting for WRJ/Sisterhood china ................... $4.00

E

STUDENT SIGNATURE PAGE

ATTENDANCE AT SHABBAT SERVICES

(to be completed and returned to the Cantor no later than 1 month before your Bar/Bat Mitzvah)

As part of my Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation, I attended Shabbat services at Emanuel on the following dates:

SHABBAT MORNING SERVICES: RABBI OR CANTOR’S INITIALS

FRIDAY EVENING SERVICES:

Student Name

PRINT SIGNATURE

F

PARENT SIGNATURE PAGE

We, the undersigned, have read thoroughly and understand the 2015-2016 Emanuel

Congregation B’nai Mitzvah Parent Handbook

Parent A Parent B

Date Date

Cantor Shelly Friedman Rabbi Michael Zedek

Elizabeth Cohen, Synagogue Director Jill Gardner, President