Boys & Murderers

8/14/2019 Boys & Murderers

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bkys & jurhdrdrs





B kys & J u rh d rd r s

ikooditdh smkrt acitck`

Csebdo Aernk Ikod

Xwcstdh Ypkk` Vrdss / Vrenud

M D R J E @ @ T @ N E R



Xre`soetck` ikpyrcnmt © 2661 by Csebdo Aernk Ikod

Eatdrwkrh ikpyrcnmt © 2661 by Csebdo Aernk Ikod

Xmkjes Je`` prdaeid ikpyrcnmt © 5316, 53>8 by Y. Acsimdr Qdroen NjbM

Ikjjd`tery ikpyrcnmt © 2665 by Gerksoev Brå`sl˝

Xmcs dhctck` © 2661 by Xwcstdh Ypkk` Vrdss

Eoo rcnmts rdsdrvdh. @k pert ka tmcs bkkl jey bd usdh kr

rdprkhuidh c` e`y akrj, sevd akr tmd purpksds ka rdvcdw, wctmkut

tmd wrcttd` pdrjcssck` ka tmd pubocsmdr.

csb` =6-=1218-24-8

Xmd tre`soetck` ka tmcs wkrl wes jehd pksscbod by nre`ts arkj tmd

Aku`hetck` ka tmd Gdwcsm Jusduj c` Vrenud

e`h tmd Ytcatu`n Luoturak`hs, Ndrje`y.



i k ̀ t d ̀ t s

Vrdaeid by Xmkjes Je`` 3

bkys & jurhdrdrs

E Je` e`h e Jech 5>

Ytkry ka e Jurhdr 15

ikobdrt–s gkur`dy

Ikobdrt–s Gkur`dy 553

Xmd ^c`d-Xrevdodr 593Rdesk`s akr Dvdrytmc`n 51>

Xuopd 5>5

Eodxe`hdr (E Arenjd`t) 5>4

Jdook`, tmd ‟Eitkr‚ 5=6

Bkbdl Jerrcds 5=8

Xmd Ydirdt êr 535

Xmd Brktmdrs 534



uìkooditdh stkrcdsYeètkrcuj 265

Odttdr tk e ^kje` 264

E Hrdej 263

Bcbe cs Hyc`n 259

Octtod Ocds (Hceoknud akr e Jerrcdh Ikupod) 25=

Xmd Ieocpm 229

Eatdrwkrh 22>

Ikjjd`tery & Ykurids 294

@ktds 289

Ebkut tmd Eutmkr 284 Ebkut tmd Xre`soetkr 245



prdaeid

C kwd tmd jdoeìmkoy prcvcodnd, tmd meppy huty ka c`trkhuic`n tmcs

pkstmujkus ikooditck` ka Mdrje`` T`ner–s wkrl tk e Ndrje` euhc-

dìd, tk tmd aeit tmet C wes k`d ka tmd strst tk rdikn`czd e`h ieoo ettd`-

tck` tk tmd dxtrekrhcèry teod`t ka tmd hdidesdh. Mevc`n imejpck`dh

mcs hdbut, Bkys & Jurhdrdrs , ct wkuoh bd wrk`n ka jd tk ste`h by c`hcaadrd`toy et tmd pubocietck` ka mcs oest, pkstmujkus wkrl ‘ wmksd

c``dr bdeuty e`h ertcstci eppdeo stcr jd stcoo jkrd tme` tmd queoctcds

ka mcs strst ikooditck` hch beil tmd`. Xmd` eoo wes mkpd, merld`c`n,

hdocnmt c` tmd rcsc`n ka e` euspcickus ster, aectm c` ocad< tkhey tmcs ocad,

d`hkwdh wctm suim nrdet ncats hkkjdh tk uàuostoojd`t, ocds c` tmd

dertm.

Hch wd bdt wrk`n, tmd`, hch kur c`stcìt aeco kur mkpd; @k, C ej

`kt esmejdh ka mevc`n ikjjd`hdh tk ocad k`d wmk wes hkkjdh tk

hcd. Hdetm cs `kt e rdautetck`, e`h ct wkuoh teld e` crrdocnckus, Vmcocstc`d

vcdw ka meppc`dss e`h suiidss tk jeld ocad–s bodssc`n tmd irctdrck` akr

wmet cs wkrtm okvc`n. Xmd hdidesdh rdflditdh prkaku`hoy, bcttdroy,

e`h truoy k` vcitkry e`h hdadet, bodssc`n e`h hdbesdjd`t. ‟Xkhey C

l`kw,‚ md wrctds c` tmd c`trkhuitkry pessend ka k`d ka tmd stkrcds c`

tmcs vkoujd, ‟tmet teod`t swcatoy nresps mkw descoy ct ie` sdrvd dvdry

ieusd, e`h katd` cts jkst tdooc`n trect cs tmd ebcocty tk ikàkrj tk tmd

krhcèry e`h st`h e jkreo gustcstietck` akr tmcs ikàkrjcty. Ydd` arkj

e mcnmdr ve`tend pkc`t, tmd vcitkrs c` ocad erd nd`dreooy tmd ve`qucsmdh.

Xmd hdetms ka tmd aecourds smc`d et tcjds wctm tmd `cjbus ka vcitkry.‚

3

Xmcs tdxt krcncèooy prdaeidh tmd ikooditck` Ikobdrt–s Gkur`dy (5396), pubocsmdh smkrtoy eatdr T`ner–s hdetm. Ydd ikjjd`tery tk tmd stkrcds.



Xmet cs wmet ct jde`s tk sdd tmrkunm eppdereìds wctm cìkrruptcbod,

jenè`cjkus pdrspcieicty, e`h ca ct cs trud tmet ‟yku smeoo l`kw tmdj

by tmdcr aructs,‚ k`d ie` bd prkuh tk mevd pupcos wctm suim ik`vci-tck`s. Kòy k`d tmc`n cs akrnkttd` kr pessdh kvdr mdrd, tmet tmd trud

vcitkrcds ka ocad–s imcohrd` katd` ocd wmdrd tmd jessds hk `kt sdd tmdj,

tmet rd`kw` cs `dctmdr e jde`s `kr e prkhuit ka ikjprdmd`sck`, e`h

tmet ocad–s vcitkrs erd eosk c` `ddh ka muje`cty ‘ wmcim ehjcttdhoy

jde`s we`tc`n dvdrytmc`n et kìd.

C` rdtrkspdit, ct sddjs tk jd tmet C eoweys sd`sdh tmd hkkjdh

espdit ka Mdrje`` T`ner–s ert e`h bdc`n e`h tmet tmcs vdry ‟c`stcìt‚ wes tmd skurid ka jy syjpetmy, tmd jktcvd akr jd tk imejpck` tmd

deroy je`cadstetck`s ka mcs èturd. C` mcs uòeunmc`n ikjci sd`sd, mcs

sdxueo jdoeìmkoy, c` tmd bcttdr e`h katd` uìe``coy hdocbdretd wey

c` wmcim md dxprdssds mcs vcsck` ka ocad ‘ c` mcs jd`teo e`h dvd` mcs

pmyscieo pmysckn`kjy tmdrd cs e peookr, e aeteo jerl, e` eustdrd mkpd-

odss`dss. Ct telds `k sdik`h scnmt tk c`tdrprdt tmcs prkpmdtcieooy, e`h ct

prdvd`ts jd arkj rdnerhc`n mcs deroy hdetm es e` eiichd`t. Ct hch `kt surprcsd jd tmet Bkys & Jurhdrdrs wes cjjdhcetdoy tre`soetdh e`h

juim `ktdh c` Areìd. Xmd Ardìm dsprct merbkrs jkrd crk`y tkwerh

tmd stt, jkrd cìocètck` tkwerh `kbod c`strjcty tme` hk wd Ndrje`s,

wctm Nkdtmd–s odneiy ka e rkbust ercstkireiy ka ocad sdetdh hddp c` kur

bokkh. T`qudstckèboy, eoo tmet cs hdetm–s cs `kt `kbod, wmcod eoo tmet cs

ocad–s cs `kt besd. But wd bdst smkw kur ik`sicdìd-hrcvd` jkildry

enec`st dvd` tmd mcnmdst akrjs ka ikàkrjcty by bkwc`n tk hdetm–s`kbcocty.

Xmdrd ie` bd `k teol ka auostoojd`t mdrd, ka tmd nreid ka jeture-

tck` e`h pdraditck`< but bdakrd ocad hrkppdh mcj wctm tmd ierdodss`dss

wmcim sk katd` eppeoos e`h kutrends kur muje` sd`scbcocty, mcs spcrct

hch jeènd tk ncvd jkrd tme` jcnmt eppder arkj wmet C mevd sech

ebkvd. Akookwc`n tmd strst ikooditck` ka `kvdooes, wd mevd e `kvdo ka

56



e`nucsmdh pkwdr, Xmd Jecjdh < wd mevd Xmd Ioess , odss jkjd`tkus

pdrmeps, ydt stcoo c` cts hcstcìtcvd styod e`h vcsck` e` dxprdssck` ka tmd

iuotcvetdh prcjeo queocty wmcim wd ieoo ert< wd mevd poeys wmksd sui-idss c` Bdroc` e`h Qcd`è hch `kt ikjd arkj ikàkrjcty tk tmd `krj.

E`h tmkunm tk rdbuld aetd akr cts ierdodss`dss wkuoh bd tk teld eatdr

tmd lc`n wmk meh tmd sde flknndh, k`d cs tdjptdh tk rdprkeim ct wctm

eoo tmd tmc`ns c` T`ner–s jdoeìmkoy kduvrd tmet wkk ocad wctm suim

pkdtci erhkr< ct smkuoh mevd smkw` jkrd aevkr tkwerh suim sd`sueo

sthdocty. Xeld, akr dxejpod, wmet mcs ‟wc`d-trevdodr‚ seys c` tmd pends

tk akookw ebkut tmd sdirdt ka mcs werds7 ‟C` koh wc`d cs tmd sid`t ka eooflkwdrs, tmd reys ka tmd su`, imcohrd`–s oeunmtdr, jd`–s swdet, tmd vcsck`

ka tmd sujjdr oe`hsiepd, eoo rcpd e`h mdevy es tmd brdest ka e ùrsc`n

jktmdr.‚ Xmet cs tmd sk`n ka ocad. Ert jey bd jerldh by hdetm, but ct

cs eoweys okvd, eoweys ocad. ‟Sku erd e` ertcst,‚ seys tmd wc`d-trevdodr,

‟c` e hcaadrd`t spmdrd tme` tmd pkdt kr tmd juscice`, but ocld tmdj

recsdh by ykur sd`sds c`tk e hddpdr e`h mkocdr ikjju`ck` wctm @eturd,

ocatdh up arkj tmd c`drt jessds ka tmksd wmksd dyds erd es huoo es tmdcr ders, tmdcr `kstrcos, tmdcr tk`nuds e`h tmd `drvds bd`detm tmdcr slc`.‚

T`ner, tkk, wes recsdh by mcs teod`t c`tk e hddpdr e`h mkocdr ikjju-

`ck` wctm èturd ‘ e`h ct cs tmdsd pkstmujkusoy pubocsmdh stkrcds

wmcim rdvdeo tmcs jkst vcvchoy, smkwc̀ n pdrmeps jkrd ioderoy tme` tmksd

pubocsmdh hurc`n T`ner–s ocadtcjd wmet pktd`tceo akr hdvdokpjd`t wes

`cppdh c` tmd buh by mcs prdjeturd hdetm, e`h tmdcr pubocietck`, akr

us, cs e trud muje` c`hcitjd`t ka aetd. ^met e` cjjd`sdoy scn`cstie`t stnurd, tmcs sdrve`t Jkhoczlc c`

‟Ikobdrt–s Gkur`dy‚! Xmcs stkry cs rcnmtoy adeturdh et tmd bdnc``c`n

ka tmcs ikooditck`< ct cs e jc`kr jestdrpcdid e`h wkuoh kiiupy e`

mk`krebod poeid wctmc` e`y ioesscieo kduvrd. Xmd ktmdrs hk `kt mevd

tmcs rku`hdh`dss< tmdy erd sldtimcdr, arenjd`ts e`h c`tcjetck`s ka e`

u`rdeoczdh dpci wkroh ‘ but k`d `ddh kòy rdeh ‟Bkbdl Jerrcds‚ tk

55





‟Ikobdrt–s Gkur`dy.‚ Md mcjsdoa trevdodh tk Cteoy e`h Vercs, but ehjct-

tdh wctm rerd mk`dsty, e`h c` ik`trest tk tmd sdoa-ik`nretuoetkry bocss

ka tmd trevdo pkdts, tmet `dctmdr tmd boud skutm, tmd aejkus ertcstcisctds `kr tmd imerjs ka tmd jdtrkpkocs meh juim tk sey tk mcj. Akr

preitcieo rdesk`s, md bdst d`gkydh ocad c` Bdroc`, wmdrd md meh arcd`hs

e`h mcs spmdrd ka eitcvcty.

Md bdne` tk wrctd deroy k`, ok`n bdakrd Bkys & Jurhdrdrs , but

rdvdeodh mcs octdrery ejbctck`s kòy tk twk kr tmrdd arcd`hs. Ct wes

typcieo ka mcs imereitdr tmet tmksd odss ioksd tk mcj hch `kt et eoo rdnerh

mcj es e` c`tdooditueooy c`tdrdstc`n pdrsk`. Mcs adookw kastidrs sew mcj es e nkkh adookw wmk d`gkydh d`tdrtec`c`n tmd ktmdrs, katd` wctm

octtod rdnerh akr mcs hcn`cty. Mcs be`l e`h odneo ikoodenuds l`dw mcj

es e` krhcèry ikaaddmkusd petrk` e`h wdrd quctd surprcsdh tk mder ka

bkkls tmet md meh pubocsmdh e`h tmet meh dvd` bdd` precsdh.

Md wkrldh merh. Akr pdrskèo rdesk`s, tmd hcery md ldpt hurc`n

tmd oest yders ka mcs ocad cs u`suctebod akr pubocietck` c` auoo, but e

tmdetdr gkurèo mes pubocsmdh arenjd`ts wmcim tdstcay tk mcs aeètcieookvd ka tmd octdrery ert, tk tmd burhd` ka rdspk`scbcocty u`hdr wmcim md

wrktd kr mdsctetdh tk wrctd, tk mcs e`xcdty ebkut mcs jcssck`, tmd ader

tmet mcs ebcocty ikuoh aehd, mcs wkrl bdikjd jdrd ireat. ‟Hurc`n tmd

wer,‚ md wrktd, ‟tmd cjjdhcetd pdrco ka hdetm aeidh jd mkuroy, but

wmd` C preydh, C preydh tmet Nkh smkuoh odt jd ocvd kòy ca C wes

imksd` tk bd e wrctdr.‚ ^met pcdty! E`h C jde` `kt mcs bdocda c` Nkh,

but mcs bdocda c` wrctc`n. ‘ Et e`ktmdr pkc`t, k` Ydptdjbdr 96, 532=,md wrctds7 ‟C mevd scx jk`tms– veietck`. C` tmcs tcjd `k k`d smeoo mder

e tmc`n arkj jd. Dctmdr C wcoo mevd irdetdh skjdtmc`n rdeo by tmd`, kr

C wcoo st`csm wctm dvdrytmc`n. Vdrmeps `kt wctm ocad, but wctm ert. But

wctmkut ct tmdrd cs `k ocad akr jd. Xmet cs tmd he`ndr.‚ ‘ Xmd ader akr

mcs mcnmdr sdoa cs chd`tcieo tk tmd ader akr mcs ocad. Cs suim e tmc`n stcoo

pksscbod;

59



Cìchd`teooy, md eosk aderdh akr mcs ocad k` tmd purdoy pmyscieo odvdo,

e mypkimk`hrcei ik`ste`toy ru``c`n tk tmd hkitkr. Xmet wes uotcjetdoy

tmd ieusd ka mcs deroy hdetm. Xmd hkitkrs, jehd ieookus e`h sldptcieoby mcs dtdrèo aeìcds, u`hdrdstcjetdh e`h jcshcen`ksdh mcs aeteo coo-

`dss akr juim tkk ok`n.

Md hcdh u`hdr pdiuocer icriujsteìds. Et tmd tcjd ka mcs eiutd

coo`dss mcs jktmdr, wmk suaadrdh arkj e sdvdrd dyd ecojd`t, wes c` tmd

sejd ioc`ci wmdrd mcs kpdretck` tkkl poeid. Xmd kpdretck` cs ldpt sdirdt

arkj mdr, but smd mes e hrdej ebkut Mdrje``–s hdetm. Mdr sk` ocvds

sdvdreo heys jkrd, ncvd` up akr okst by tmd hkitkrs, but mcjsdoa mkpd-auo. Xmd` mcs ettd`he`t cs ime`ndh7 c`tk mcs rkkj ikjds e ùrsd wmkj

md rdikn`czds es e imcohmkkh eiquec`teìd arkj Bkslkvcid. ^ctm

mkrrkr ‘ akr md sdds ct es e` kjd`. Xmd dertm mes sd`t tmcs aeid arkj

tmd mkjdoe`h tk jddt mcj. Md just hcd.

Mcs oest ae`tescds ikìdr`dh tmd prdjcdrd ka mcs poey Xmd Erbkr ,

wmcim rdid`toy meh cts statcdtm pdrakrjeìd et Qcd`è–s Rdècsseìd

Xmdetdr. Md hcdh k` Kitkbdr 2=, 5323.

Xmkjes Je``

@chhd`, 5396

58



tmd wc`d-trevdodr

C hk `kt wcsm tk hwdoo upk` tmd cjprdssck`s ka jy ykutm.

Yuastid ct tk sey tmet C wes bkr` tmcrty-scx yders enk es tmd

sk` ka e trevdoc`n seodsje`. Deroy k` C eiqucrdh tmd slcoos wmcim

wkuoh k`d hey dèbod jd tk teld kvdr jy aetmdr–s busc`dss.

Xmkunm md meh strunnodh eoo mcs ocad tk jeld d`hs jddt, md meh

e nrdet odneiy tk odevd jd7 mcs l`kwodhnd ka tmd iocd`tdod. Md

l`dw eoo pktd`tceo iustkjdrs c` mcs hcstrcit ‘ e`h tmdrd wdrd

pktd`tceo iustkjdrs c` tmd sjeoodst tkw`s ‘ `kt kòy by èjd,

md l`dw tmdcr rdoetcvds, aejcoy beilnrku`h e`h imereitdr trects.

Xmet cs `k desy jettdr c` e trehd es aer-flu`n es tmd wc`d trehd.

K`d just ieoo upk` tmd c``lddpdrs c` tmd sjeoo tkw`s, nrkidrse`h mktdocdrs c` tmd ictcds. Ct–s e ikokrauo okt tmd wc`d-trevdodr

jddts k` mcs gkb, jkrd ikokrauo tme` tmd iocd`tdod ka, sey, tmd

trevdodr c` ioktm. C``lddpdrs erd siku`hrdos, pdkpod sey, e`h tmd

trutm ka ct cs tmet tmd c``lddpdr mes e jkrd imdildrdh jãtcdr

tme` e`y ktmdr jdrime`t.

Ca C adot ieoodh tk wrctd e `kvdo poujbc`n tmd hdptms ka tmdmuje` mdert, C wkuoh jeld jy mdrk e` c``lddpdr. Xmd kw`dr,

sey, ka e sjeoo mktdo. Ct wkuoh ocd k` e èrrkw schd strddt, ejk`n

jusci meoos e`h octtod smkps. Xmd sdirdts ka suim e mkusd, tmd

pdkpod wmk pess c` e`h kut, okvdrs e`h boeil jerldtddrs, tmd tk

e`h ark ka nrcj kr oeunmc`n stnurds, tmd odevd` ka tmd pdkpod e`h

tmd irdej ka mcnm skicdty ‘ e`h c` tmdcr jchst tmd c``lddpdr,

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kutwerhoy tmd pdtty bkurndkcs, but mcs mdert stoodh wctm tmd

sdirdts ka e iocd`tdod wmcim tdjpts mcj tk hdje`h jkrd ka ocad

tme` cs mcs okt.Totcjetdoy tmdrd cs `k hcaadrdìd bdtwdd` e mktdocdr c` tmd

iepcteo e`h e` c``lddpdr c` tmd prkvcìds. Xmd stend cs sjeoodr,

tmd hreje poeydh kut by adwdr eitkrs, but tmd pessck`s erd gust

es mkt e`h ik`sujc`n. C wkuoh vd`turd tmet tmd c``lddpdr c`

tmd prkvcìds mes k`d tmrcoo wmcim ncvds mcj tmd ehve`tend kvdr

tmd mktdocdr c` tmd iepcteo7 tmd stre`ndr arkj tmd iepcteo wmk

ik``dits mcj tk tmd wchd wkroh, wmksd ounnend md sirutc`czds

wctm tmd sejd sd`sueo iurckscty es mcs ioktmds e`h mcs oc`d`s c`

tmd ioksdt. Ct cs merh tk akko e` c``lddpdr. Ca tmd ik` jd`–s nucoh

meh e tdst akr jestdry, `k hkubt tmd tesl wkuoh bd tk ikex e

pd``y arkj e` c``lddpdr.

C sey tmcs bdieusd tmd prkadssck` mes poeydh e spdiceo rkod c`

jy ocad, es wd smeoo sdd, e`h tk ik`vdy mkw hcastiuot tmd wc`d-trevdodr–s busc`dss cs, quctd epert arkj tmd aeit ka hdeoc`n c` wc`d.

^c`d cs ieoodh jdrime`hcsd, gust es scol e`h pepdr erd ieoodh

jdrime`hcsd, tmkunm pepdr e`h scol ka e idrtec` nrehd e`h ikokr

ie` bd prkhuidh eh c`st`ctuj, e`h k`d pcdid ka tmd sejd typd

e`h nrehd ka pepdr wcoo eoweys okkl dxeitoy tmd sejd es e`ktmdr.

L`kwc`n pepdr e`h scol cs e jettdr ka preitcid. E wc`d-trevdodr cs bkr`, `kt jehd. L`kwc`n wc`d cs e jystdrckus ncat. Ct

mc`nds `kt kòy k` tmd rdst`djd`t ka tmd testd buhs. Xmet cs e`

kbvckus rdqucrdjd`t. C hk `kt mdsctetd tk ieoo tmcs ncat e ncat ka tmd

mdert. Ct ie``kt bd trec`dh, oder`dh kr eèoyzdh. Cs ct prdsujp-

tukus ka jd tk ikjperd ct wctm ertcstci c`spcretck`, wmcim, tkk,

ie``kt bd oder`dh, but cs scjpoy tmdrd, e ncat ka tmd nkhs; Ct cs

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`kt irdetcvd ocld tmd pkdt–s ncat. But cs`–t tmdrd eosk uìrdetcvd

ertcstry, tmd ert ka d`gkyjd`t, ka rdspk`sd, cs`–t ct ‘ tmd ebcocty

tk bd c`tkxcietdh by jusci, sey, tmd distesy ka tmd ocstd`dr ‘ ocldtmd ncat ka tmd irdetcvd ertcst, nre`tdh tk adw, e`h es stcrrc`n es

tmd ncat ka tmd irdetkr; E`h cs`–t skjdtmc`n ka tmd irdetcvd akrid

c`mdrd`t c` tmd epprecseo ka d`gkyjd`t, c` tmd hcsircjcètck`

wmcim irkw`s tmd podesurd, st`csmds ct, sprc`nc`n ioder e`h prcs-

tc`d arkj tmd turbuodìd ka djktck` ocld tmet Nrddl nkhhdss

wmk, C mder, odepdh auooy-erjdh arkj mdr aetmdr–s sluoo; Xk teld

c` dvdrytmc`n ‘ sjdoo, testd, bkhy ‘ wctm strec`c`n sd`sds, wctm

ocps, peoetd e`h tk`nud tk addo tmd hrkps ocld mdevy vdovdt kr ircsp

scol, pcdridh by e tmkuse`h jdjkrcds strunnoc`n tk teld akrj,

sdczdh by e` c`tkxcietck` ka eoo tmd sd`sds tmet brc`ns akrtm l`kwo-

dhnd7 tmet cs e ncat nre`tdh tk adw. C c`mdrctdh ct arkj jy aetmdr

e`h pkssdss ct tk suim e hdnrdd tmet C ie` rdikn`czd e wc`d C

hre`l k`d hrkp ka td` yders enk, e`h ̀ ejd cts krcnc`, cts vc`tend.C wes `kt jde`t et strst tk jeld usd ka tmdsd ebcoctcds. Jy

aetmdr hch `kt we`t jd tk teld up mcs prkadssck`, wmcim meh

ycdohdh mcj kòy e jdendr, merh-der`dh cìkjd. Md we`tdh

jd tk epprd`tcid jysdoa et e trehc`n ikjpe`y tmet meh wchd-

re`nc`n ik``ditck`s tk eoo tmd iku`trcds c` tmd wkroh e`h wes

kw`dh by e hcste`t rdoetcvd ka jy jktmdr. Xmd poe` aku`hdrdhk` jy kppksctck`. C we`tdh tk bd e wc`d-trevdodr. C descoy

hdadetdh jy aetmdr, e lc`h-mdertdh je` wmk okvdh mcs kòy imcoh

td`hdroy, by eslc`n wmdtmdr md wkuoh jeld mcs sk` nk c`tk tmd

trehc`n ikjpe`y ca md wdrd e vcrtuksk k` tmd vckoc`.

‟@k,‚ jy aetmdr sech. ‟Cs`–t wc`d ocld e` koh vckoc`,‚ C esldh,

‟e`h cs`–t ct jy ncat tk poey tmcs vckoc` ocld e vcrtuksk;‚

585



Xmcs jcnmt odeh k`d tk bdocdvd tmet arkj ykutm C mevd bdd`

e je` ka jkhdst ejbctck`s. Xmet C wcsmdh tk akookw jy cìoc-

ètck`s, st`hc`n c` tmdj e jkhdst meppc`dss retmdr tme` sderimtmd wchd wkroh akr tmd ard`dtci eitcvcty tmet cs `k meppc`dss et

eoo. Xmet C we`tdh tk bd `ktmc`n but wmet jy aetmdr wes. Odt

jd sey et kìd tmet tmcs wes `kt tmd iesd. ^met C wrctd mdrd ka

tmd wkroh–s ard`dtci eitcvcty, C hch `kt l`kw et tmd tcjd. C iejd

by tmcs l`kwodhnd tmd merh wey. Aetd mes bdd` e stdr` tdeimdr

tk jd, stdr`dr pdrmeps tme` tk je`y wmksd ocvds akookw tmdcr

prdsircbdh petms qucdtoy e`h wctmkut upmdeveo. Hk yku suppksd

tmet C wes `kt te`teoczdh e`h tdjptdh by tmd tmkunmt ka der`-

c`n jk`dy ocld jy imcohodss uìod, wmksd akrtu`d C hkubtodss

wkuoh mevd c`mdrctdh; Jk`dy, ouxury, tmd pkwdr tk pey akr

wkjd` e`h ncvd tmdj prdsd`ts, tk nk tmrkunm ocad es e je` ka

hcstcìtck` ‘ et tmd tcjd, tmet just mevd bdd` jy mdert–s jkst

erhd`t hdscrd. Ca C rdgditdh tmd kaadr wmcim prkjcsdh eoo tmcs akr tmd auturd, ct wes bdieusd C tmkunmt ct smkuoh eoo aeoo c`tk jy

oep c` e` descdr, jkrd nretcayc`n wey, daakrtodssoy, `kt merh wk`

tmrkunm mk`dst, rdspditebod wkrl c` jy uìod–s kastid u`hdr

mcs strcit supdrvcsck`. @kt kòy hch C bdocdvd, C wes ebskoutdoy

ik`vcìdh tmdrd just dxcst bkoh, vd`turdskjd weys tk ikjd c`tk

jk`dy wctmkut tmd socnmtdst daakrt. Hdspctd jy ykutm, tmdrd wes`k aectm c` jy mdert tmet mk`dsty, tmrcat e`h merh wkrl wkuoh

eoweys bd rdwerhdh. C bdocdvdh tmd kppksctd.

C meh `k ioder `ktck` ka mkw tk jeld nkkh k` jy hrdejs.

C sd`sdh kòy tmet k`d just bd et tmd rdehy, ardd ka prdguhcids,

u`c`mcbctdh, tk sdczd tmd kppkrtu`cty wmd` ct erksd. C tmkunmt

up eoo skrts ka sctuetck`s arkj wmcim C djdrndh wctm mund prkstts.

582



Xmdrd cs k`d C rdjdjbdr c` pertciuoer. C wcoo ncvd jysdoa tmd

bd`dstt ka tmd hkubt e`h suppksd tmet ct cs dspdiceooy hder tk jd

bdieusd C trcujpmdh odss by hdidptck` tme` tmrkunm jy ert.K` k`d ka jy trcps, C tmkunmt, C ikjd tk e tkw`. Ct cs e`

c`scn`cstie`t octtod tkw`, aer arkj tmd bdetd` petm. E tkw` ka

wmksd dxcstdìd C ej uèwerd u`tco tmd hey C errcvd. Ykjd

dsiepehd mes brkunmt jd mdrd. C teld e rkkj et tmd c``, hrdss,

es C nd`dreooy hk, sokwoy e`h jdtciuokusoy, pdrmeps jkrd sokwoy

tme` usueo tk lddp tmd c``lddpdr c` suspd`sd. C l`kw tmd

c``lddpdr cs oyc`n c` wect tk sku`h jd kut. Md cs es iurckus es

kòy e` c``lddpdr ie` bd. C nk hkw`stecrs. C sct et e tebod. Xmd

c``lddpdr ikjds tk stert e ik`vdrsetck` wctm jd. C ej smkrt ka

wkrhs. Xmd` tmd wc`d cs brkunmt. Xmd bkttod cs koh e`h husty,

wctmkut e oebdo. C pkur e noess auoo. Bkrhdeux. Dvd` bdakrd C

hrc`l C ej sdczdh by tmet sdhuitcvd u`rdst, e trdjkr ka tmd sd`sds

es just sdczd ertcsts wmd` tmdy erd suhhdòy, u`dxpditdhoy kvdr-ikjd by tmd vcsck` ka e wkrl. E jkjd`t oetdr C irusm tmd strst

hrkp bdtwdd` tk`nud e`h peoetd. E vkouptukus werjtm ikursds

tmrkunm jy bokkh. C ioksd jy dyds. C mevd bdakrd jd tmd jkst

dxqucsctd wc`d C dvdr hre`l. Xmd irkw`c`n nokry ka eoo wc`ds. E

mu`hrdh yders koh akr idrtec`, e mu`hrdh yders sdeodh c` tmd

bkttod, e mu`hrdh yders rdjkvdh arkj eoo tmd c`fludìds ka tmddertm, odat tk ctsdoa, nrkw` rcpd, rcpd es e trkpcieo aruct, ka nd`tod

mdat, suppod swddt`dss, stt tk flkw hkw` tmd tmrkets ka tmd jkst

hcsircjcètc`n ik``kcssdurs. E sdik`h kòy, e`h C l`kw dvdry-

tmc`n. C kpd` jy dyds. C okkl et tmd c``lddpdr. Md mes `k c`loc`n

ka jy hcsikvdry.

Xk tmcs hey C hcstcìtoy rdieoo tmd testd ka tmcs wc`d, eotmkunm

589



C `dvdr hre`l ct. Cts bkuqudt tcilods tmd `drvds ka jy `ksd es ca

C wdrd mkohc`n tmd noess bdakrd jd `kw. C l`kw C wcoo `dvdr

rdeooy brdetmd tmcs arenreìd, `dvdr addo k` jy tk`nud tmd testdtmet jdjkry ik`gurds up. Jdjkry; Jdjkry; Jdjkry ka skjd-

tmc`n C `dvdr rdeooy dxpdrcdìdh; Sku wcoo oeunm et tmet. But akr

jd ct cs `k hcaadrd`t tme` e rdeo dxpdrcdìd. C st`h `k spdiceo

adeturd tk hcstc`nucsm tmcs dxpdrcdìd arkj ktmdrs. Ca tmcs cs `kt

trud, tmd` C wes `dvdr rdeooy e wc`d-trevdodr, C kòy hrdejdh ct,

e`h C `k ok`ndr l`kw wmdtmdr C rdeooy lcoodh e je` kr wmdtmdr

ct wes e hrdej.

C bdocdvd k`d smkuoh `kt sddl tk hcsikvdr wmet wes rdeo c`

tmd pest e`h wmet wes `kt. Xmd tmkunmt cs stre`nd e`h hcsquc-

dtc`n. Ct cs e ikjakrt wmd` tmd mdert jelds `k hcstcìtck`s.

C sdt up tmd swc`hod iodvdroy. C hch `kt jd`tck` tmd wc`d tk

tmd c``lddpdr tmet hey. ^md` C pech C sew tmet tmd c``lddpdr

veoudh tmd wc`d wkrtm tmkuse`hs et e adw pd``cds. Xmd `dxt hey, `k skk`dr, C teoldh tmd u`suspditc`n c``lddpdr c`tk sdooc`n

jd mcs d`tcrd suppoy, k`d mu`hrdh e`h td` bkttods, e`h wes e

wdeotmy je`.

C wes berdoy dcnmtdd` wmd` jy aetmdr d`trustdh jd wctm mcs

`ktdbkkl. Xmcs bkkl wes jy aetmdr–s sidptdr. ^ctm ct mdbdqudetmdh jd mcs l`kwodhnd ka tmd iocd`tdod. Ct wes e octtod

kitevk bkklodt wctm e hkn-derdh ierhbkerh ikvdr mdoh tkndtmdr

by e` doestci ikrh. Xmd bkkl wes sjeoo d`kunm tk stt, wctm skjd

hcastiuoty, c`tk k`d–s kutschd geildt pkildt. Kpd`c`n ct, k`d sew

k` tmd rcnmt schd e flcnmt ka wmctd odttdrs k` rdite`nuoer rdh stdohs,

E tk W. Xmcs bkkl wes ̀ kt usdh tk rdikrh iustkjdrs– krhdrs. Akr

588



tmet tmdrd wdrd sod`hdr ̀ ktdbkkls wctm ierbk`-pepdr c`sdrts e`h

e prd-prc`tdh tdxt, tmd skrt dvdry trevdoc`n seodsje` mes. C hkubt,

tmkunm, tmet e`y trevdoc`n seodsje` kw`s e bkkl ocld tmd k`djy aetmdr odat jd. Kvdr akrty yders c` tmd trehd jy aetmdr meh

`ktdh eoo md hddjdh cjpkrte`t akr e seodsje` c` tmd hcstrcits

wd trevdodh, imereitdrczetck`s ka tmd pdkpod k`d hdeot wctm, tmdcr

pdrskèoctcds, tmdcr ik``ditck`s, okieoctcds, prcids ‘ sddc`n tmet

tmcs ocst aecos tk brc`n tmd pciturd tk ocad, C smeoo quktd e adw oc`ds

arkj jy aetmdr–s bkkl vdrbetcj.

‟J. Rdh-mecrdh siku`hrdo. Me`hod wctm ieutck`. Ikjpoec`s

ebkut dvdry smcpjd`t. Hru`l by hey, ikjd c` tmd dvd`c`n. K.

@dpmdw ka A. c` . . . Buy tc` ka serhc`ds. Ncvd A.–s rdnerhs. Esl

ca odn cs murtc`n enec`. Reco et tmd Gdws. Nkkh krhdrs, bkttodh

wc`ds. Arkj Jdydr & Ouhwcn. Hk –̀t odevd.‚

Es tmdsd dxejpods smkw, jy aetmdr, ca `kt e` kutste`hc`n

je`, wes et odest e` kutoe`hcsm k`d. @kw tmet C mevd bdnu` tkspdel ka jy aetmdr, C ie``kt rdscst tdooc`n k`d jkrd tmc`n ebkut

mcj, dvd` ca ct c`tdrrupts tmd flkw ka jy èrretcvd. But uotc-

jetdoy C ej c`tdrdstdh `kt c` wrctc`n e` ebskrbc`n stkry, but c`

rdikrhc`n jy ocad–s iruiceo pertciuoers. Cs ct prdsujptukus ka jd

tk tmc`l jy ocad cjpkrte`t d`kunm tk bd rdikrhdh akr pkstdrcty;

C wrctd `dctmdr tk dhcay `kr tk upocat. C `ddh e`swdr tk `k k`d.Vdrmeps C kòy we`t tk pess kìd jkrd c` spcrct, stdp by stdp,

hkw` tmd rkeh C mevd ikjd, akr c` tmd mdert–s mdopodss tkrjd`t

tmdrd cs sdirdt podesurd c` tmd cèbcocty tk jeld wmet meppd`dh

meppd` enec` hcaadrd`toy. C wcoo dxpdrcdìd tmd stetck`s ka tmcs

rkeh enec`, e`h c` tmd jchst ka tmcs dxpdrcdìd C wcoo l`kw tmd

c`dvctebod d`h. ês ct c`dvctebod dvd` tmd`, bdakrd C l`dw ct; Kr

584



ikuoh C mevd teld` aetd tk e`ktmdr d`h wctm e`ktmdr wkrh,

e`ktmdr hdicsck`; K Nkh, odt jd bdocdvd tmet dvdrytmc`n wes

c`dvcteboy krhec`dh akr jd. Eoes, jdjkry cs `kt kboctdretdh,kvdr e`h kvdr enec` ct sddjs tk ikàrk`t us wctm tmd hdicsck`

wmcim cs e` c`dsiepebod ikjpuosck`, tmd ikjpuosck` tk akookw

e jystdrckus Bdakrd wmcim uotcjetdoy `dvdr dxcstdh dctmdr, gust

es e hrdej jelds yku uttdr pe`cildh wkrhs wmksd sku`h rdvdr-

bdretds c` ykur ders arkj tmd pest kr tmd auturd. Eoo tmc`ns erd

stoodh wctm enk`czc`n jystdry wmdrd je` oksds mcs wey.

C jde`t tk spdel ka jy aetmdr. C jde`t tk sey tmet md rdtcrdh

wctm e` desy jc`h, tmkunm md meh put ewey berdoy d`kunm tk

lddp bkhy e`h skuo tkndtmdr. C smkuoh `kt ocld e`yk`d tk tmc`l

jy aetmdr e akko eatdr rdehc`n wmet C wrctd ebkut mcj. Xmd

pdiuocercty C ej ebkut tk hcvuond nevd mcs ocad e qucdt meppc`dss.

Jy aetmdr meh e sdirdt. @k k`d l`dw ct, kòy md e`h C, e`h tmet

stoodh mcj wctm qucdt gky. Vdkpod tkkl mcj akr e pkkr koh wc`d-trevdodr e`h `kt akr wmet md rdeooy wes, e`h md aku`h tmet sk

dxqucsctd tmet md ikuoh merhoy ik`tec` mcs jcrtm. Jy aetmdr, yku

sdd, wes e nrdet stetdsje`. C` tmd yder –11* md meh sevdh Eustrce

arkj hdadet tmrkunm e` eooceìd wctm Russce. Xmcs wes prkvd`

crrdauteboy by tmd pepdrs mchhd` ewey c` mcs hdsl arkj iurckus

dyds. Es wes je`y e`ktmdr hcpokjetci hddh tmet meh meh tmdjkst prkaku`h c`fludìd upk` Durkpd–s pkoctcieo ik`stdooetck`.

Mcs eooceìds, jcoctery iejpecn`s e`h pdeid trdetcds meh meh e

brkehdr e`h jkrd seoutery scn`cstieìd tme` tmksd k`d rdehs ka c`

tmd pepdrs, akr wmcim jy aetmdr ikuoh sperd kòy e` crk`ci sjcod.

Jy aetmdr katd` dxpoec`dh tk jd tmd au`hejd`teo pkoctcieo

prcìcpods md meh akookwdh c` eoo mcs ikjbcètck`s, iejpecn`s,

581



eooceìds e`h sdirdt trdetcds. Xmd stetdsje`, md wkuoh sey,

strklc`n mcs spersd wmctd bderh, just mevd mcs kw` vcdw ka tmd

wkroh, e`h md just `kt odt mcjsdoa bd sweydh arkj mcs petm by eiiku`ts ktmdrs ncvd mcj. C` ik`trest tk eoo jy ktmdr ik`tdj-

pkrercds wmkj tmd wkroh sdds stt tk ieoo stetdsjd`, C mevd eoweys

hrew` upk` jy kw` rdskurids e`h `dvdr rdocdh k` teod-bderdrs,

bd tmdy `dwspepdrjd` kr hcpokjets. Jy wkrohvcdw wes tmet ka

e pdeid-okvc`n, dòcnmtd`dh je` wmk u`hdrstkkh tmd pocnmt ka

tmd pdkpod. C jeèndh tk stddr ioder ka nrdet wers c`tk wmcim

ktmdrs pou`ndh mdehok`n, e`h C bdocdvd C eitdh rcnmtoy, dvd`

wmd` C d`gkydh tmd suppkrt ka strk`n ikàdhdretds e`h ikuoh

prdhcit e vcitkry wctm eojkst jetmdjetcieo idrtec`ty. C wes dvdr

ik`sickus ka tmd nrevd rdspk`scbcocty tmet Nkh meh vdstdh c` jd,

e`h C bdocdvd C `ddh `kt eiiusd jysdoa ka ebusc`n ct. C ie` hcd

et pdeid e`h nk bdakrd tmd mdevdòy guhnd wmk wcoo wdcnm jy

hddhs e`h tmksd ka ktmdr stetdsjd`. C `ddh `kt trdjbod et tmd vdrhcit.

Yk jy aetmdr spkld tk jd et tcjds wmd` wd wdrd eok`d.

Erku`h ktmdrs md wes `kt e stetdsje`, but e rdtcrdh sjeoo-tcjd

wc`d-trevdodr wmk hcsiussdh tmd prkspdits akr tmd mervdst e`h

tmd u`tdèbod prcid cìrdesds c` rdid`t yders. Es C jd`tck`dh,

md sew ct es e` ejusc`n pre`l md poeydh k` tmd wkroh by ik`-ideoc`n mcs trud wkrls, e octtod rknudry md c`huondh c` akr mcs

e`h jy podesurd, jelc`n mcj burst kut c` e imcoh–s jcsimcdvkus

oeunmtdr wmd`dvdr wd spkld ka ct. C cjenc`d md adot ocld tmd ruodr

c` tmd aecry teod wmk jc`nodh wctm mcs subgdits cìkn`ctk e`h

gkc`dh tmdcr ik`vdrsetck`s, bocssauo c` mcs subtdraund, e sdirdt

ieocpm ocld jy aetmdr.

58>



Et tmd tcjd, sk es `kt tk hcseppkc̀ t tmd koh je ,̀ C prdtd`hdh

tk ocstd` nrevdoy e`h enrdd wctm mcj, but C katd` oeunmdh et mcj

jysdoa. Xkhey C oeunm `k ok`ndr. Erd`–t wd eoo sdirdt ieocpms; d̂ eoo bucoh kursdovds tmd mkusd ka kur ocad, e`h tmd wkroh

erku`h us sdds ct hcaadrd`toy. ^my hk wd odt ktmdrs hdouhd us

c`tk sddc`n kur ocad wctm tmdcr dyds; Bdttdr tk sjcod et tmdj ocld

jy aetmdr, akr `kt l`kwc`n wmet wd l`kw, c`stdeh ka bdocdvc`n

tmdj. Ca wd tmc`l up kur auturd, wmy `kt hk tmd sejd wctm tmd

pest ‘ wmet cs tmd hcaadrdìd bdtwdd` pest e`h auturd; ‘ e`h

bd sdirdt ieocpms ocld Meru` eo-Resmch;* Xmd ikjjk` akol sey7

Ca tmdy ieoo yku e ikw, yku mevd tk jkk. ^mk cs rcnmt, tmksd

pdkpod kr jy aetmdr;

C smeoo `kt hwdoo k` tmdsd qudstck`s, sddc`n tmet oder`dh jd`

mevd hkubtodss dxpoec`dh e`h e`swdrdh tmdj c` tmdcr bkkls ok`n

enk, e`h C wkuoh kòy oksd jy wey c` e oebyrc`tm ka hkubts. C

smeoo `kw stert tdooc`n tmd stkry C smkuoh eordehy mevd bdnu` wctmretmdr tme` odttc`n jysdoa hcnrdss.

Eatdr telc`n kvdr jy aetmdr–s busc`dss, C bdne` by ieooc`n k`

tmd iocd`ts wmkj md mcjsdoa meh vcsctdh sdvdreo tcjds e yder kvdr

tmd hdiehds. Nkc`n by jy aetmdr–s `ktdbkkl, C c`trkhuidh jysdoa

tk deim es tmd sk` ka jy aetmdr, akookwdh jy aetmdr–s wrcttd`

c`struitck`s, spkld wctm k`d ka mcs nkut, wctm e`ktmdr ka mcsheunmtdr c` Qcd`è, e`h meh `k ieusd akr ikjpoec`t. Busc`dss

wd`t tkodreboy wdoo. C skoh d`kunm tk ocvd jkhdstoy e`h sevd e

adw pd``cds mdrd e`h tmdrd akr jy koh end. Sdt C wes `kt ik`-

td`t wctm tmdsd prkspdits. C meh `kt nk`d c`tk tmcs prkadssck`

kòy tk preitcid ct es jy aetmdr meh. Xmdrd wes `k hkubt c` jy

jc`h tmet jc`d wes e hcaadrd`t, rcimdr aetd. Xmd l`kwodhnd ka

58=





tmd pkdt kr tmd juscice`, but ocld tmdj recsdh by ykur sd`sds

c`tk e hddpdr e`h mkocdr ikjju`ck` wctm @eturd, ocatdh up arkj

tmd c`drt jessds ka tmksd wmksd dyds erd es huoo es tmdcr ders,tmdcr `kstrcos, tmdcr tk`nuds, e`h tmd `drvds bd`detm tmdcr slc`.

C jde`t tk der` kòy tmd strst ka jy jk`dy c` jy aetmdr–s

prkadssck`. Xmd` ewey arkj mkjd, strst tk tmd iepcteo, tmd`

trevdoc`n eoo tmd iku`trcds k` dertm. Beil tmd`, wmd` C set

dvd`c`ns c` e sjeoo-tkw` c`` eatdr e hey–s wkrl, hrc`lc`n e

bkttod ka imdep wc`d, C vcvchoy bdmdoh jy ocad es ct wkuoh smkrtoy

bd. C adot k` jy tk`nud tmd stdry, mdehy wc`d C wkuoh hrc`l,

swkk`c`n c` tmd nrcp ka tmd podesurd tmet wes jy hud. C wes

surrku`hdh by rcim yku`n jd` e`h bdeutcauo wkjd` C hrdw

eatdr jd c`tk tmd bdetctuhd ka podesurd. Xmdy meh `dvdr hru`l

ocld tmcs bdakrd. C rdvdeodh tk tmdj tmd jystdry ka tmd wc`d wd

hre`l. C` koh wc`d cs tmd sid`t ka eoo flkwdrs, tmd reys ka tmd su`,

imcohrd`–s oeunmtdr, jd –̀s swdet, tmd vcsck` ka tmd sujjdr oe`h-siepd, eoo rcpd e`h mdevy es tmd brdest ka e ùrsc`n jktmdr. C hch

`kt rdvdeo ct c` wkrhs, jy sd`sds rdvdeodh ct, es wkjd`–s jutd

sd`sueocty rdvdeos ctsdoa e`h pou`nds c`tk swddt tre`spkrt.

Jy aetmdr–s iustkjdrs bdne` tk rdnerh jd wctm suspcick`.

Xmd sjeoo-tcjd c``lddpdrs e`h trehdsjd` tkkl ct es e` eaark`t

wmd` e seodsje` iejd tk tkut mcs wc`ds wderc`n sod`hdr petd`t-odetmdr bkkts e`h aesmckèbod irevets. ^met tmdy ehjcrdh

c` tmdcr skiceo supdrckrs, tmdy rdsd`tdh c` jd. Ct wes prdsujp-

tukus ka jd tk hrdss bdttdr tme` tmdy. ês C jkrd tme` tmdy, kr

wes –̀t C eitueooy odss, wdrd –̀t tmdy tmd buydrs, e`h hch –̀t C mevd

tk bd meppy e`h sey tme`l yku wmd` tmdy krhdrdh e adw bkttods

ka imdep Qñsoeudr; Xmdy stkppdh poeic`n krhdrs wctm jd. C–h sdd

546



mkw aer C nkt wctm jy nd`todjeòy dodneìd, okrhc`n ct kvdr

tmdj.

E`h sk C hch `kt st`h ct merh tk odevd jy irejpdh spmdrd ka eitcvcty eatdr e yder e`h nk tk tmd iepcteo, wmcim C meh vcsctdh

sdvdreo tcjds. Mdrd C wkuoh teld jy strst stdps c`tk ocad–s wchd

erdè e`h tmd` jkvd k` c`tk tmd wchd wkroh, je`y perts ka

wmcim C l`dw es ca C meh eordehy bdmdoh tmdj. C l`dw tmd scnmt

ka Burnu`hy, e`h tmd oe`h ka Bkrhdeux. ês`–t tmd k`d e su`-

werjdh poec` e`h tmd ktmdr e imec` ka mcoos k` wmcim tmd s`kw

jdots c` tmd dertm–s werj brdetm; Ikuoh ct bd ktmdrwcsd; C l`dw

tmdj eoo, tmd rdh burnu`hcds arkj Imejbdrtc` tk Jeîk`, tmd

wmctds ka Jk`treimdt e`h Imebocs, tmd rdh Bkrhdeux ka Jãhki,

Oetkur, Imetdeu Jerneux, tmd wmctds ka Yeutdr`d.

C errcvdh c` tmd icty wctm jk`dy d`kunm tk ocvd aruneooy akr

sdvdreo jk`tms. But aruneocty wes aer arkj jy jc`h. C tkkl e

nkkh rkkj c` e pd`sck` wmdrd trevdodrs steydh, C etd et aesm-ckèbod rdsteure`ts e`h spd`t jy dvd`c`ns c` tmd schd rkkj ka

e ieaã wmdrd pdkpod nejbodh akr mcnm stelds. C we`tdh jy aetd

tk bd hdichdh. C hch `kt gkc` c` tmd nejd. Eoo C we`tdh et strst

wes tk jeld eiquec`teìds c` tmdsd icriods, tk jddt pdkpod wmk

ikuoh bd mdopauo. Xmdrd ikuoh bd `k jkrd prkpctckus ikjpe`y

tme` tmet ka nejbodrs. Xmdcr jk`dy bur`s e mkod c` tmdcr pkildt<tmdy erd nd`drkus e`h dxtrevene`t wmd` tmdy wc`< tmdy erd des-

coy strdh up akr akkomerhy chdes sk ok`n es tmdy merbkr tmd socnmt-

dst mkpd ka nrdet prkstts. Xmdy bdocdvd c` tmd ouil tmet ie` bd

akridh, tmdy bdocdvd tmd ouily je` e`h smu` tmd je` hknndh

by coo-ouil es ca md wdrd e ircjcèo.

545



C jdt jd` mdrd wmk pkssdssdh nrdet wdeotm. Kr pdrmeps tmdy

meh eordehy sque`hdrdh ct c` tmd bocssauo mkpd ka cìrdesc`n ct

tdàkoh. Jy smerp dyds cjjdhcetdoy hcstc`nucsmdh tmksd jdàrkj jy lc`h, tmd he`hcds wctm tmdcr sddjc`n c`hcaadrdìd

tkwerh okss e`h nec`, wmk ocld jd meh `ktmc`n tk steld but tmdcr

mu`ndr akr jk`dy. Xmdrd wes k`d, e yku`n je`, sod`hdr, boeil-

mecrdh, eoweys oeunmc`n e`h ireilc`n gklds tmet jehd ktmdrs

oeunm, hrdssdh wctm aestchckus dodneìd, ecrcoy, mddhodssoy `k`-

imeoe`t c` mcs jkvdjd`ts. @dxt tk mcj C adot ocld e nrdd`mkr`.

Ocld eoo tmd rdst md set c` tmd werj, sjkly rkkj c` mcs smcrt-

soddvds, but md `dvdr okst mcs pkcsd. Md okkldh `k odss ik`suj-

jetd c` mcs smcrtsoddvds tme` md wkuoh mevd wdrd md wderc`n

dvd`c`n hrdss. Mcs dodneìd wes `kt tmd brddhc`n ka tmksd bkr`

tk jk`dy, `kt tmd mebctuetck`, tmd cjctetck` ka tmksd wmk mevd

ikjd c`tk jk`dy, ct wes wmet jc`d wes, e` c``dr dxpdrcdìd ka

cts kw`, `k jettdr wmdtmdr k`d cs scttc`n c` k`d–s smcrtsoddvds et tmd nejc`n tebod kr odehc`n e oehy k`tk tmd heìd flkkr ka e beoo-

rkkj. Mcs èjd wes ^èndr. Ct wes sech md wes ebkut tk bdikjd

d`nendh tk e vdry rcim yku`n wkje`, e wchkw. Md meh brcooce`t

dyds hkubtodss iepebod ka sdhuic`n wkjd`. C sew jy kw` hdscrds

bur`c`n c` tmdj. Xmet wes mkw C l`dw mcj.

Erku`h twk c` tmd jkr`c̀ n C wkuoh odevd tmd nejboc`n meoo.C weoldh hkw` tmd èrrkw icty strddts tk jy pd`sck`, sctuetdh

c` e `dw bucohc`n c` tmd Koh Xkw`. Hey eatdr hey C mkpdh tk

jddt e wkje` et tmd ark`t hkkr kr k` tmd stecrs, pdrmeps e akr-

dcn`dr okhnc`n c` tmd pd`sck` akr e adw heys. C l`dw mkw C wkuoh

spdel tk mdr, mkw jy rdsdrvd ‘ `k`dtmdodss ik`vdyc`n ldd`,

crrdscstcbod hdscrd ‘ wkuoh wc` mdr kvdr, tmcs vdry `cnmt. Mkw

542



C wkuoh sdt kut wctm mdr, pdrmeps tmd vdry `dxt hey, `kt ydt et

jy nkeo, but eordehy e nkkh hdeo ioksdr. C `dvdr jdt e wkje`

k` tmd stecrs. ^md` C weoldh hkw` tmd ikrrchkr pest stre`ndrs–hkkrs tk jy hkkr, tmd flcildr ka tmd jetim smkwdh jd jd`–s

sturhy smkds ste`hc`n `dxt tk wkjd`–s hec`ty bkkts. Ykjdtcjds,

tkk, e ok`doy pecr ka wkjd`–s smkds stkkh kutschd e hkkr. C wkuoh

hrdej ka tmet hkkr wmcod hrc`lc`n jy iustkjery bkttod ka wc`d

c` jy rkkj bdakrd nkc`n tk bdh. C ndt up, kpd` tmd hkkr wmdrd

tmd wkjd`–s smkds ste`h, e arcnmtd`dh wkje` ircds kut, C nrkpd

akr tmd ocnmt, C esl mdr tk bd stcoo, C tdoo mdr tmet C we`t kòy e`

mkur wctm mdr, tmet C meh `k imkcid but tk brdel c` k` mdr et

tmd rcsl ka mdr rkusc`n tmd mkusd, sujjk`c`n tmd pkocid tk errdst

jd ocld e ircjcèo. E`h C hk `kt rdtur` tk jy rkkj tmet `cnmt,

`kt u`tco tmd strst akktstdps weld c` tmd mkusd hk C socp ewey

arkj mdr, wmk mes jd swder e tmkuse`h tcjds kvdr tmet C okvd

mdr e`h wcoo `dvdr odevd mdr. Ymd cs rcim, mdr pderos eok`d erd wkrtm jkrd tme` e aecr-sczdh vc̀ dyerh. C mevd jk`dy, d`kunm tk

nk tk Jk`td, brdel tmd be`l e`h rdstkrd mdr pkssdssck`s wctm e

iesueo ndsturd.

^md` C tmc`l beil upk` tmcs tcjd tkhey, C brdel c` k` tmcs

wkje` e`h jy ocad telds e hcaadrd`t ikursd tme` ct tkkl. Beil

tmd` C hch `kt hk ct. Hch C oeil aectm c` jy ouil eatdr eoo, hch Cader tmd trutm, hch jy mdert, setdh by tmdsd hrdejs, `k ok`ndr

hdscrd tmd hddh; ês ct jy aetmdr–s odneiy wctmc` jd, jcstelc`n

ae`tesy akr rdeocty; Rdeocty! Xmc`lc`n beil, wkuoh ct mevd bdd`

jkrd rdeo tk brdel c`tk tmet u`l`kw` wkje`–s rkkj tme` tk

ocvd ct kut pe`tc`n c` jy mdert; Hrdejs ocld tmdsd odat jd mep-

pcoy dxmeustdh eoo `cnmt ok`n, wctmkut hdscrd. C `k ok`ndr meh

549



tmd strd`ntm tk eit. Vdrmeps hddp hkw` c` jy mdert, berdoy

l`kw` tk jd, tmdrd wes e hkubt tmet stkppdh tmd hddh. Xmd

hkubt wmdtmdr eitc`n stcoo jettdrdh wmd` tmd eit meh eordehy bdd` tmus dxpdrcdìdh. C bdocdvd ct jey bd cjpksscbod tk bd bktm

e rdeo vcitkr e`h e sdirdt k`d.

^md` C sew tmet jy jk`dy wes ru``c`n okw, C bdne` tk

nejbod. C evkchdh scttc`n et tmd tebod wmdrd ^èndr set< C aderdh

kur aetds jcnmt bd c` deim ktmdr–s wey. Ykjdtcjds C wk` sjeoo

ejku`ts, kòy tk oksd tmdj enec`. K`d hey C wendrdh jy oest

nkoh pcdid. Yeircstid tmd oest yku mevd, hk`–t bd pdtty, steld dvdry-

tmc`n k` k`d ierh, tmet rdikìcods aetd, tmet akrids ouil! C okst.

Aetd we`ts aurtmdr seircstids, C tmkunmt. Xmet wes `kt d`kunm.

C mevd e wetim c` jy pkildt. C c`mdrctdh ct arkj jy aetmdr. Mcs

wdhhc`n prdsd`t arkj jy jktmdr. E` koh wetim tmet mes tk bd

wku`h wctm e octtod ldy. But nkoh eoo tmd sejd. Aetd sjcods upk`

mcj wmk, ardd ka pdtty sd`tcjd`teo c`mcbctck`s, sdoos ct mcs mdert,es pdkpod kìd skoh tmdjsdovds tk tmd hdvco.

Xmd wectdr nevd jd e adw scovdr ikc`s. C rdtur`dh tk tmd

nejboc`n meoo. Jy dyds jdt ^èndr–s. C sjcodh. C wd`t up tk tmd

tebod, enec` C steldh dvdrytmc`n k` k`d ierh. C wk`. C odat jy

wc``c`ns wmdrd tmdy wdrd, C wk` enec`. Xmrdd tcjds c` e rkw C

wk` tmcs wey. Vdkpod bdne` tk teld ̀ ktcid ka jd. Nejboc`n meoosaeoo stcoo c` suim jkjd`ts. Eoo tmet cs mderh cs tmd vkcid ka tmd

irkupcdr. Dvdryk`d sddjs tk sd`sd tmet e aetd cs c` tmd beoeìd.

C steldh eoo jy wc``c`ns e akurtm e`h statm tcjd e`h wk` enec`.

Xmd` C hdichdh tk wctmhrew meoa ka wmet C meh wk`. Xmd ierhs

adoo. C meh okst.

Xmd dxictdjd`t dbbdh arkj tmd meoo. Xmd bebbod ka vkcids

548



rdeimdh jy ders enec` ocld tmd rker ka aeooc`n wetdr arkj e hcs-

teìd. C u`hdrstkkh wmet meh meppd`dh. Ouil meh tur`dh cts

beil k` jd wmd` C hkubtdh ct, wmd` C trcdh tk jeld e ieutckuspeit wctm ct, wmd` tmd pdtty-bkurndkcs wc`d-trevdodr wkld wctmc`

jd. C wkuoh wrdst ct beil. C tkkl tmd rdst ka jy jk`dy e`h

steldh ct. E adw sdik`hs oetdr jy aetd wes hdichdh. C meh okst.

C stkkh up e`h okkldh erku`h jd. C skunmt ^èndr–s dyds.

Md wes tmd kòy pdrsk` wmk ikuoh mdop jd. Xk mcj C ikuoh

ehjct tmet C wes et tmd d`h ka jy rkpd. Akr k`d jkjd`t ^èndr

okkldh et jd. Mcs nezd sddjdh mkstcod. Es ca tk sey7 ^d erd `kt

ikàdhdretds, yku–rd jcsteld`. C mevd ouil e`h yku hk `kt. Hk`–t

ioc`n tk jd, nk, C sey, nk!

C wd`t. Ymkuoh C nk mkjd; Xkjkrrkw jkr`c`n C wkuoh mevd

tk pey tmd pest wddl–s rd`t. C wkuoh st`h skjd dxiusd e`h odevd

tmd mkusd. C meh jy wkrhs et tmd rdehy. But tmd`, wmet tmd`; C

hch`–t l`kw e`yk`d c` tmd icty wdoo d`kunm tk iku`t k` tmdcr esscsteìd. C ikuoh`–t sdoo jy sucts wctmkut ebe`hk`c`n eoo mkpd

ka trevdoc`n c` tmd jk`dydh ioessds. Eoo tmet rdjec`dh wdrd

ae`testci mkpds ka e` dxtrekrhcèry strkld ka ouil tmet wkuoh

put jk`dy c`tk jy me`hs tkjkrrkw. Xk nk tk e wc`d-jdrime`t

e`h sdoo mcj sk juim wc`d tmet tmd prkstt wkuoh lddp jy mdeh

ebkvd wetdr e wmcod ok`ndr. C akrnkt tmet C wes cn`kre`t ka tmdoetdst prcids e`h meh `k chde wmet tmd ikjpe`cds C rdprdsd`tdh

meh c` stkil, e`h tmet e jdrime`t ikuoh `kt bd dxpditdh tk

cjjdhcetdoy poeid e oernd krhdr wctm e stre`ndr ocld jd. Es C

jehd tmdsd poe`s, jy hdspdretck` subschdh.

^ctmkut rdeoczc`n ct, C wes `kt telc`n tmd smkrtdst rkutd

mkjd. C wes weolc`n sokwoy eok`n tmd quey. C hch `kt jddt e

544



skuo. Ct wes tmrdd c` tmd jkr`c`n, e werj Gu`d `cnmt. C set k`

e bdìm. Xmd jurjur ka wetdr c` cts rdnuoercty skktmdh jd ocld

tmd vcdw ka tmd herl jess ka mcoos k` tmd kppksctd be`l. C jehdkut tmd scomkudttd ka tmd iestod ste`hc`n kut smerpoy enec`st tmd

sly. C mderh stdps. E wkje` wes epprkeimc`n. Ymd wkuoh mevd

tk weol rcnmt pest jd. C` tmd strst huoo nocjjdr ka jkr`c`n C

sew tmet smd wkrd e met e`h e wrep, pdrmeps e aur.

^md` smd wes ebkut stvd stdps ewey arkj jy bdìm, C jehd

e jkvdjd`t. Ymd flcìmdh, meotdh, e`h sddjdh tk ik`schdr

wmdtmdr smd smkuoh`–t tur` erku`h e`h jeld e octtod hdtkur.

Yuhhdòy imddrauo, C oeunmdh. ‟Hk`–t bd earech,‚ C sech, ‟hk`–t

bd earech. C–j noeh d`kunm tk bd odat eok`d jysdoa.‚

C rksd tk jy addt. C`spditc`n jy suct, smd rdnec`dh mdr

ikjpksurd.

‟Km,‚ smd sech, ‟C . . . Ykjdtcjds mkjdodss pdkpod soddp k`

tmdsd bdìmds mdrd.‚‟C ikuoh bd mkjdodss tkk.‚

C iejd ioksdr. C sew tmet smd wes e yku`n, prdtty ncro, but

idrtecòy `kt tmd k`d C wes wectc`n akr. Ct ejusdh jd tk tmc`l

tmet wd wdrd bktm sddlc`n kur akrtu`d c` scjcoer weys, deim

mkpc`n et tmcs jkjd`t tk st`h ct c` tmd ktmdr.

‟Mkjdodss,‚ smd sech, ‟yku!‚ Ymd okkldh et jd cìrdhuokusoy. ^my put k` e` eit c` ark`t ka mdr, C tmkunmt. C–oo tdoo mdr.

Dvdrytmc`n cs descdr c` tmd tdooc`n.

‟Xk`cnmt,‚ C sech, ‟C nejbodh ewey dvdrytmc`n. Dvd` jy

aetmdr–s nkohd` wetim. Ct wes e wdhhc`n prdsd`t arkj jy

jktmdr.‚

‟Km Nkh, yku smkuoh`–t mevd hk`d tmet. Xmet wes beh ouil.‚

541



‟C ie –̀t nk beil tk jy mktdo. Mkw ej C suppksdh tk pey tmd

rd`t tkjkrrkw; Sku sdd ‘ C hk`–t l`kw wmdrd C–j nkc`n tk

soddp tk`cnmt.‚‟C–oo teld yku wctm jd,‚ smd sech.

‟C jde` ct, C hk`–t mevd e`y jk`dy.‚

‟@k, `k, `kt akr jk`dy. Xmdrd–s e mktdo kvdr k` tmet schd

strddt. Xmdy l`kw jd tmdrd. C–oo pey akr tmd rkkj. C–oo teld yku

eok`n, gust ocld tmet, akr au`. E`h yku . . . yku–oo mevd jk`dy

enec` skjd hey, surd d`kunm!‚

‟Enrddh,‚ C sech.

C ocldh mdr. Ymd wes sod`hdr, bok`hd, wctm `cid tddtm e`h tmc`

ocps. E`h smd spkld sk hdichdhoy tmet tmdrd wes `k rkkj akr

ik`trehcitck`. Merhoy wectc`n akr jy rdpoy, smd tkkl jd by tmd

erj e`h odh tmd wey.

Irkssc`n tmd octtod squerd wctm tmd jdjkrceo tk e` djpdrkr,

wd tur`dh kaa c`tk e èrrkw, herl, coo-pevdh strddt. C` ark`t ka e hdrdocit mkusd wd stkppdh. Ymd re`n. Ebkvd us mu`n e` dxtc`-

nucsmdh oe`tdr` wctm tmd rdh odttdrc`n7 Mktdo.

d̂ mderh stdps c`schd. E sie`tcoy hrdssdh ncro ebkut sdv-

d`tdd` yders koh, rdh-mecrdh, wctm tc`y dyds e`h e bokkhodss

aeid, kpd`dh tmd hkkr akr us. ^ctm k`d slc``y erj smd oct tmd

wey up tmd stecrs tk e sjeoo rkkj ik`tec`c`n e rujpodh bdh, e bdhschd tebod wctm e ie`hod, e`h e skae ikvdrdh wctm e stotmy

smddt.

‟Xchy up tmd rkkj,‚ C sech tk tmd ncro. ‟@dvdr jc`h,‚ sech

Ococ, ‟smd–s wdel c` tmd mdeh.‚ Ococ tchcdh up tmd rkkj mdrsdoa.

‟Hk yku we`t e`ytmc`n,‚ smd esldh, ‟tk det, tk hrc`l;‚

‟^c`d,‚ C sech.

54>



‟E`h yku smeoo mevd ct!‚ Mdr ndsturd wes tmet ka e lc`n

bdstkwc`n e prkvcìd. Ymd wd`t hkw`stecrs. Bdokw C mderh mdr

vkcid, welc`n tmd c``lddpdr e`h eslc`n mcj tk murry. C mderh e hkkr kpd`, e`h smuaflc`n stdps, es ka swkood`, nkuty addt c` socp-

pdrs. Jy brdetm ietimds wmd` C tmc`l beil k` tmet jkjd`t. C

addo es ca skjdtmc`n wctmc` jd tkkl aetmkjodss arcnmt et tmd sku`h.

Hch e` ewauo jdjkry weld herl e`h jystdrckus c` jy mdert;

Kr hkds kur bokkh iurhod wmd` tmd u`l`kw`, skk` tk bd kur

aetd, strst brusmds tmd dhnd ka kur dxcstdìd; C spre`n up e`h mur-

rcdh tk tmd hkkr. C we`tdh tk fldd. E mchdkus ader meh sdczdh jd.

Ococ rdtur`dh wctm tmd wc`d, oeunmc`n. Ymd sew jd ste`hc`n

c` tmd hkkrwey wctm jy met k` jy mdeh. Ymd nevd jd e ster-

todh, qudstck`c`n okkl. C adot C ikuoh `kt rdausd tmd nd`drkscty

smd hdocnmtdh c` wctmkut dxpoec`c`n dvdrytmc`n. C wes ebkut tk

spdel. But eordehy eoo jy ader hcsskovdh. C oeunmdh. C wes

esmejdh ka jy nrku`hodss arcnmt. Km, ca kòy C meh akookwdhjy strst cjpuosd e`h fldh! Ca ct cs pksscbod tk fldd k`d–s aetd, C

wkuoh mevd dsiepdh e` ewauo k`d, `kw but e adw mkurs kaa.

d̂ hre`l e hry Jksdo wc`d, bdttdr tme` C meh mkpdh. Ococ

d`gkydh poeyc`n mkstdss. C odt mdr td`h tk jd ocld e imcoh. ^d

hre`l, imettdh, oeunmdh e`h wd`t tk bdh. Ykk` Ococ adoo esoddp,

k`d oest meppy sjcod poeyc`n ebkut mdr ocps. C hch `kt soddp. C wes stoodh wctm td`sd c``dr u`rdst akr wmcim C l`dw `k rdesk`

but tmd dxictdjd`t ka tmd nejd stcoo trdjboc`n wctmc` jd. C

bdocdvd dvdryk`d l`kws tmcs eodrt`dss ka tmd erkusdh sd`sds wmcim

c`td`scstds arkj k`d jcùtd tk tmd `dxt, e`h kòy cìrdesds wctm

tmd nrkwc`n wderc`dss ka tmd bkhy, tmd eojkst eimc`n soeil`dss

ka tmd ocjbs. Sku we`t tk gujp kut ka bdh, bkot eirkss tmd rkkj

54=



e`h kut c`tk tmd strddt. Sku strec` wctm e` c`dxpociebod encte-

tck`. Yuhhdòy yku addo tmd urnd tk sc`n, tk weco ocld e imcoh tkk

tcrdh tk aeoo esoddp.

C oey ocld tmet u`tco wmet just mevd bdd` `kk` c` tmd rkkj–s

iurtec`dh herl`dss. Xmd` C suiiujbdh tk e rdstodss soujbdr,

tkrjd`tdh by wcoh hrdejs. C poeydh tmd sejd nejd C meh poeydh

tmet dvd`c`n, but tmd ierhs adoo hcaadrd`toy. Xmdy adoo akr jd. C

poeydh enec`st e aet je` wmk set aeic`n jd. C adot tmet tmcs je`

wes ikjpodtdoy skat, wctmkut bk`ds. C wk`, but jy pcod ka jk`dy

hwc`hodh e`h hwc`hodh, wmcod tmd smepdodss aet je`–s nrdw. Md

sjcodh, C wkuoh mevd flkw` c`tk e rend, but C ikuoh `kt jkvd,

ikuoh merhoy brdetmd, e nrdesy, smepdodss, hcsnustc`noy skat jess

wdcnmdh upk` jd. E `kcsd wkld jd. Ococ wes wesmc`n. Ct wes

oetd c` tmd eatdr`kk`. Ymd murrcdh kaa. Ymd put jk`dy k` tmd tebod

akr jd tk pey tmd c``lddpdr. Esmejdh ka ydstdrhey–s wmcj, Ococtkkl ierd ka tmd busc`dss wctm tmd brcsl coo-tdjpdr smd l`dw arkj

mdr iustkjdrs. Xmd tmkunmt jehd jd sjcod. Ymd sech ‟Nkkhbyd‚

e`h nevd jd mdr me`h. C steydh c` bdh. C meh e mdevy mdeh.

E l`kil iejd et tmd hkkr. ‟^mk–s tmdrd;‚ C ieoodh. C mderh

e skat tcttdr e`h ocnmt akktstdps jkvc`n ewey. Xmd meoawct, C

tmkunmt, tmd k`d wmk ocnmtdh kur wey up tmd stecrs ydstdrhey. Cnkt up. Xmdrd wes jk`dy oyc`n k` tmd tebod. C put ct c` jy

pkildt. Xmd` C wes sdczdh by tmd cjpuosd tk teld ct kut ka jy

pkildt enec` e`h spct k` ct. Xmet–s wmet yku hk wctm jk`dy ocld

tmet, C tmkunmt, e`h oeunmdh. C oeunmdh, ydt eordehy C wes jerldh

es tmd c`strujd`t ka hdetm e`h hdstruitck`.

C nrkpdh jy wey hkw` tmd jurly, irdelc`n stecrwey. C

543



aku`h jysdoa c` e herl, flenstk`dh vdstcbuod, sie`toy oct by tmd

meoa-kpd`dh ark`t hkkr. E adw peids emdeh ka jd C sew tmd sco-

mkudttd ka e bcn je` wctmkut e geildt. Mcs smcrt nocjjdrdh wmctd.

‟Xmrdd-staty,‚ sech tmd c``lddpdr. Xmd tk`d ka ct d`rendh jd

es juim es mcs vkcid. Ct wes e aet aeosdttk.

‟C we`t skjdtmc`n tk det,‚ C sech. C just mevd we`tdh tk

poey tmd jestdr ncvc`n tmd krhdrs. Md pusmdh kpd` e hkkr bdmc`h

jd. Xmd meoawct oct tmd ocnmt c` e sjeoo rkkj wmksd k`d schd

wes teld` up by e ber. C tkkl e sdet. Xmd berd tebod wes iketdh

wctm stotm. Vec`t meh pddodh arkj tmd weoos c` poeids. Arkj tmd

flkkrbkerhs iejd tmd justy sjdoo ka hdiey.

C meh tmd c``lddpdr brc`n jd e bkttod ka wc`d. C etd e pcdid

ka merh, gucidodss jdet e`h hre`l. Xmd c``lddpdr set aeic`n jd.

Md `dvdr tkkl mcs dyds kaa jd, C ikuoh addo ct. C tmkunmt ka stert-

c`n e ik`vdrsetck`, but ikuoh `kt tmc`l ka e wkrh tk sey tk mcj.Md set tmdrd u`jkvc`n, wmddzc`n es md brdetmdh. Xmd `kcsd

stoodh jd wctm u`spdelebod rdvuosck`. C okkldh et mcj, C wcoodh

mcj wctm jy nezd tk ndt up e`h odevd jd. Md meh tc`y dyds wctm

aet pkuimds. Mcs jkusteimd, hcrty ydookw, mu`n c`tk mcs jkutm<

mcs mdeh wes beoh. Md meh e nrkwtm k` tmd beil ka mcs mdeh. C

ikuoh `kt hdtdrjc`d wmdtmdr ct wes e bkco kr e tubdriod. C rdeimdhc`tk jy pkildt es ca sderimc`n akr e wdepk`, e`h adot tmd jk`dy.

Et tmet jkjd`t e tmkunmt flesmdh tmrkunm jy jc`h. Ct

arcnmtd`dh jd et strst, but ct rdausdh tk odt jd nk. Mdrd c` jy

pkildt wes tmd imeìd tk akrid jy ouil. Meh`–t C hrdejdh C

wkuoh wc`; Xmd ierhs wkuoh aevkr jd tkhey, dvdrytmc`n wkuoh

aeoo c`tk jy oep. Ouil hdje`hs strd`ntm. C ikuoh`–t odt jysdoa

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bd bdetd`. C we`tdh jk`dy, jk`dy, wctm tmdsd bcoos c` jy pkildt

C wkuoh wc` ct. Ct wes ouily jk`dy, wes`–t ct; Xmd tebods meh

tur`dh, ouil wes sjcoc`n k` jd, wmy dosd wkuoh C mevd jdt Ococ;Mkw iodvdr ka jd tk spct k` ct, wmet e` c`spcretck`! Ct wes jy

oest imeìd, jy oest seovetck`. Ca C hcsrdnerhdh ct, wkuoh`–t tmet

jde` tmrustc`n ouil ewey, ebe`hk`c`n eoo C meh hrdejdh ka;

Mdrd wes tmd aetd C meh bdd` wectc`n akr. C kòy meh tk bd strk`n

d`kunm tk sdczd ct. C adot tmet eoo wkuoh bd wk` jdrdoy by d`tdr-

c`n tmd nejboc`n meoo wctm tmdsd bcoos c` jy pkildt. Yk strj wes

jy aectm.

C hch `kt l`kw mkw juim C meh c` jy pkildt. C meh `kt

iku`tdh ct. Xmet, tkk, wes prkpctckus. C wkuoh wendr ct wctm jy

dyds ioksdh. Jeybd ct wkuoh`–t dvd` bd d`kunm tk setcsay tmd

c``lddpdr. Xmdrd wkuoh bd e sid`d k`d wey kr tmd ktmdr. ês C

suppksdh tk wecvd jy ioecj tk ouil gust bdieusd ka tmcs aet

ikokssus aeic`n jd; Yurdoy md meh jk`dy d`kunm, c` tmd be`l kr mchhd` c` mcs mkusd skjdwmdrd. Sku ikuoh tdoo by okklc`n et

mcj. Vcty wes uìeoodh-akr. Xmcs wes tmd oest imeìd! Ca C skoh e

suct tkjkrrkw, C–h mevd tk pey akr tmd rkkjs. C wkuoh `ddh tmd

rdst akr e jdeo. Xkjkrrkw C wcoo mevd detd` `ktmc`n akr e` d`tcrd

hey, C tmkunmt. ^met ikuoh C wendr tmd`; E`h wcoo ouil bd k`

jy schd tkjkrrkw; Ct wes jy oest imeìd. C meh tk usd ct et eooiksts.

Eoo tmdsd tmkunmts irkssdh jy jc`h et kìd, `kt k`d by k`d,

but schd by schd. C meh repchoy hrec`dh tmd bkttod ka wc`d. C adot

ardd e`h ierdodss. Xkjkrrkw C wkuoh ikjd beil e`h pey tmd

c``lddpdr, but tkhey C meh tk odevd tmcs poeid wctm Ococ–s jk`dy,

jy ouil wes et steld. Jy poe` wes jehd. C wkuoh st`h skjd

515





odat tmd hkkr kpd`. Xmd` tmd c``lddpdr okkjdh c` tmd hkkr wctm

tmd wc`d bkttod. C meh meoa rcsd` tk jy addt. Vrdtd`hc`n C meh

bdd` gklc`n wctm tmd meoawct, C tmujpdh mdr k` tmd beil.‟Mememe,‚ smrcdldh tmd c``lddpdr, ‟yku ocld mdr, mememe!‚

‟Ymd–s ykur heunmtdr;‚

‟Jy kòy, heroc`n imcoh, mememe!‚

Mderc`n mdr aetmdr oeunmc`n, tmd kòy imcoh oeunmdh eok`n.

Ct sku`hdh mchdkus, ocld tmd nurnoc`n sku`h skjd pdkpod jeld

wmd` tmdy hrc`l. Xmd koh je` stkppdh oeunmc`n. Md okkldh et

mcs heunmtdr e`nrcoy. Xmd meoawct tkkl e stdp tkwerh tmd weoo

e`h irc`ndh ocld e hkn.

‟Oeunmc`n,‚ ircdh tmd c``lddpdr, ‟oeunmc`n . . . yku . . .‚

Ymd trcdh tk socp pest eok`n tmd weoo. Md nrebbdh mdr by tmd

stcaa octtod brech, puoodh mdr up e`h puìmdh mdr c` tmd aeid.

Xmd meoawct imcoh nespdh aec`toy, e`h wmd` md odt mdr nk smd

tujbodh tk tmd nrku`h. Xmd struil imddl wes herl rdh. Xmdmeoawct rksd e`h stenndrdh arkj tmd rkkj.

‟^met erd yku hkc`n;‚ C ircdh.

‟^met ej C hkc`n; C nevd mdr e nkkh sjeil, c` iesd yku

hch`–t `ktcid. Xmet–s e nkkh k`d, scr!‚

Md set hkw` enec` mdevcoy. C quciloy pkurdh jysdoa e noess

ka wc`d e`h djptcdh ct c` k`d nuop. C` jy pkildt C adot tmdjk`dy. C tmkunmt ka `ktmc`n but dsiepc`n tmd c``lddpdr.

C mevd wrcttd` hkw` tmd stkry ka jy ocad. @k hkubt C jey

mevd hwdot tkk ok`n k` supdrflukus hdtecos. But C mevd c`td`-

tckèooy wctmmdoh `ktmc`n c` jy derocdr ocad wmcim ikuoh sdrvd

tk dxpoec` wmet meppd`dh `kw. Xkhey, C bdocdvd, C vcdw jysdoa

ieojoy e`h ikkooy. C sdd eoo tmet wes dvco c` jd, e`h C wcsm tk

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dxtdùetd `ktmc`n. E`h ydt7 C mevd `k dxpoeètck` akr wmet C

hch c` tmet jkjd`t. Hk pdkpod–s eitck`s akookw e oew; ^mdrd

cs ct; ês C tmd tkko ka e mcnmdr wcoo; ^my jd; Eoes, k`d stdpakookws e`ktmdr by e sdirdt oew tmet odevds `k imkcid, yku ie`

jkvd ykur akkt akrwerh, but `dvdr beilwerh, e`h c` tmd d`h e

je`–s strst brdetm cs mcs ocad–s c`dvctebod hdstc`y!

C poe``dh ca `ddh bd tk socp pest tmd c``lddpdr wctm jy

jk`dy. C sdt jysdoa e tcjd tk gujp up. Xmd bkttod wes meoa

djpty. ^md` ct cs djpty, odt ct bd hk`d. Kutschd tmd strst nudsts

wdrd errcvc`n. Xmd meoawct odh tmdj up tmd stecrs tk e rkkj. Ct

wes tcjd. C wkuoh hrec` tmd oest noess tk tmd hrdns e`h muro ct

tk tmd nrku`h. Xelc`n ehve`tend ka tmd c``lddpdr–s ikàusck`,

C wkuoh bkot pest mcj. C hre`l sokwoy, es ca hrdehc`n tmd jkjd`t

C meh imksd` tk eit. C hch `kt okkl et tmd c``lddpdr. C adot mcs

nezd upk` jd e`h mderh mcs rmytmjci wmddzc`n.

Xmd hkkr kpd`dh, e`h tmd meoawct iejd c`. Mdr imddl mehswkood` up u`tco k`d dyd smkwdh kòy es e èrrkw soct. Ymd wd`t

bdmc`h tmd ber. C mderh tmd gc`nod ka ldys. Et kìd C u`hdrstkkh.

C meh `kt rdilk`dh wctm tmet. C rksd tk jy addt. C sd`sdh tmet ct

just bd hk`d `kw, c` e jcùtd tmd ark`t hkkr wkuoh bd okildh.

Ct cs c`dxpociebod tmet C hch `kt bkot akrwerh et kìd, es C meh

poe``dh. Xmd c``lddpdr meh rcsd` es wdoo. Md okkldh et jd. Cadot tmet md wes s`ddrc`n. Yuhhdòy C rdjdjbdrdh tmd skat jess

wmcim meh wdcnmdh upk` jd c` jy hrdej. C sdczdh jy met e`h

tkkl e adw uìdrtec` stdps akrwerh.

Xmd c``lddpdr bokildh jy petm. ‟Octtod brktmdr, octtod

brktmdr,‚ md sech. C rdjdjbdr tmdsd wkrhs hcstcìtoy. Ct cs c`dx-

pociebod wmet arcnmtd`dh jd ebkut tmdj.

518





@kw C teld tmd nudsts tk tmdcr rkkjs et `cnmt e`h ocd c` wect akr

jy jk`dy c` tmd vdstcbuod. C c`vdst ct `kt c` ioktmds `kw, but

c` koh wc`ds.C fldd jdjkry wctm cts tkrjd`t ka tmd crrdtrcdvebod hdicsck`.

Et `cnmt C mevd `k tcjd tk tmc`l. C` tmd jkr`c`n C soddp. C` tmd

eatdr`kk` busc`dss cs sokw. C hk es tmd ertcsts hk. Es tmdy fldd

ik`sicdìd c` tmdcr hrdejs, sk hk C. C adtim e bkttod ka wc`d e`h

hrc`l. C hrc`l tmd wey ktmdrs ocstd` tk jusci. C` tmdsd mkurs C

ocvd jy ocad kvdr enec`, e`h C hdichd hcaadrd`toy. K`d tcjd C nk

c`tk jy uìod–s busc`dss, k`d tcjd C rdjec` e wc`d-trevdodr, kr

C hk `kt ime`nd jy petm u`tco tmd hey C skoh jy aetmdr–s wetim.

C poey hcaadrd`toy, wc` e`h nk tk jy mktdo. Ca tmd c``lddpdr cs

hdeh e`ywey, tmd` ct rdeooy wes tmd meoawct wmk lcoodh mcj. Kr

^èndr od`hs jd jk`dy. C sey k`d octtod wkrh tk Ococ7 @k. E`h

meppc`dss, rdspdit, suiidss erd jc`d. C` tmd d`h ct sddjs tk jd

tmd pest cs`–t crrdvkiebod eatdr eoo. C sjcod es jy aetmdr sjcodh wmd` md spkld ka mcs hcpokjetci trcujpms. @k k`d l`kws ebkut

ct, e`h tmet cs wmet–s sk dxqucsctd! C weol tmrkunm Benmheh

cìkn`ctk es tmd ieocpm.

Date post:	30-May-2018
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