Bridge session2

What are the characteristics

of Christian leadership?

Wednesday, 28 August 13

What does a church leader

look like?




Characteristics of Christian Leadership

With due credit to:John Piper, Jack Hayford, J Oswald Sanders,

Bob Gordon…and a few others


• What do you think are the essential characteristics of a leader in the Kingdom of God?

• What should a man of God look like in the way he / she lives their life each day?


1. What is this?


1. What is this?Change is here to stay!


Watch this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE

1. RestlessLeaders know the world is changing rapidly - they know they need to understand change and where to adapt because of change, where to adopt new things and where to ignore it (due to its lack of relevance to their arena).


• Spiritual leaders have a holy discontentment with the status quo

• They are unhappy to let things remain the same

• Non-leaders have inertia• Leaders want change, movement,

growth - new dimensions of ministry


• Can you think of biblical examples of restless people?

• Are there any specifically gifted people who would be less or more likely to accept / welcome change?


Rogers Bell Curve

Likelihood of acting / changingHigh Low

• This is called the Rogers Bell Curve and it represents the rate of taking up new ideas / innovations within a “typical” society / group

• Look at it and consider what if any are the implications for church leaders


Rogers Bell Curve

Likelihood of acting / changingHigh Low


Philippians 312Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


2...


2. Optimistic• Spiritual leaders are

optimistic because God is in control

• Their confidence is based upon the goodness of God manifested in Jesus Christ

• Without optimism restlessness becomes despair


2. Optimistic• Spiritual leaders are

optimistic because God is in control

• Their confidence is based upon the goodness of God manifested in Jesus Christ

• Without optimism restlessness becomes despair

What Biblical verses and situations show

us the need to be optimistic due to

God’s sovereignty?


Romans 828And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose...32, He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?


3. Intense


3. Intense

• Romans 12:8 …if your gift is leadership, “do it with zeal.”


3. Intense


• Romans 12:11 … “Never flag in zeal, boil in the spirit!”


3. Intense


• Romans 12:11 … “Never flag in zeal, boil in the spirit!”

• Jesus cleansing the temple, "Zeal for your house has consumed me" John 2:17


Jonathan Edwards wrote a list of approx. seventy resolutions. One of which says:

“To live with all my might while I

live.”


Jonathan Edwards wrote a list of approx. seventy resolutions. One of which says:

“To live with all my might while I

live.”

1. Resolved, That I will do whatsoever I think to be most to the glory of God, and my own good, profit, and pleasure, in the whole of my duration; without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so

many myriads of ages hence. Resolved, to do whatever I think to be my duty, and most for the good and

advantage of mankind in general. Resolved, so to do, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and

how great soever.

2. Resolved, To be continually endeavouring to find out some new contrivance and invention to promote the

forementioned things.


Count Zinzendorf of the Moravians said,“I have one passion.

It is He and He alone.”


“If I had 1,000 lives, I'd give them all for

China”Hudson Taylor

(1832-1905)


“Expect great things from God;

attempt great things

for God”William Carey


4...


4. Self-controlled• Gal. 5:23 – a fruit of the Spirit not mere

willpower • Allowing the power of God to master

your emotions, appetites etc. • Master of our desires and drives• Spiritual leaders ruthlessly track down

bad habits and break them by the power of the Spirit


1 Cor. 6:12, “Everything is permissible for

me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is

permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything.”


•Jeremiah 18 I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.


• Examine your life to see whether you are enslaved by leisure: television, alcohol, coffee, cricket, computer games: people, crises, meetings, your work and call

• 1 Cor. 9:25ff


• A work matrix developed by Stephen Covey - used to assess and prioritise work


• A work matrix developed by Stephen Covey - used to assess and prioritise work


5...


5. Thick-skinned• In leading others you will be

criticised• You cannot aim to please others and

seek their approval. Gal 1:10• If criticism disables us, we will never

make it as spiritual leaders - we might be hurt, but must not be disabled by it


5. Thick-skinned• In leading others you will be

criticised• You cannot aim to please others and

seek their approval. Gal 1:10• If criticism disables us, we will never

make it as spiritual leaders - we might be hurt, but must not be disabled by it


•Criticism is one of Satan's favourite weapons to try to get effective Christian leaders to quit•Being thick skinned does not mean being closed to legitimate criticism - humbly accept and apply just criticism


Look for the truth in every criticism that comes your way

Criticism can either be just or unjust, objective or unfounded – the motive behind the criticism is almost immaterial, your response is most important


1. Consider the SourceWhat is their motivation for criticising?Constructive criticism (loving) or habitual complaining.Experience will help you discern the difference. Are they people who tear down rather than build up?Matthew 12.34...out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks


2. Consider the ObservationSee beyond and consider the truth behind the criticismWill it develop my leadership style or sharpen my effectiveness as a leader? Proverbs 12.1 speaks plainly: "…he who hates correction is stupid."


3. Practice ForgivenessDon’t hit back at the person defending yourself or by reciprocating with even harsher criticism. Exercise grace, mercy and forgiveness


6...


6. Energetic

• Lazy people cannot be leaders• Eph. 5:16 making the best use of the

time, because the days are evil.• 1 Cor. 15:58, Therefore, my dear

brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain


• ‘The world is run by tired men’• Learn to live with pressure – such

as deadlines, demands for your time

• Don’t waste time in excess leisure


Promises like Matt. 11:28 and Php 4:7, Isaiah 64:4 prevent pressure becoming a worry28 Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest...7 And the peace of God,which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.



7...


7. A hard thinker• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking be

mature!" 1 Cor. 14:20• It is not easy to be a leader of people

who can outthink you!• A leader must be one who, when he

sees a set of circumstances, thinks about it

Who do you think of as the “great thinkers” in the

Bible?What do you think of

most?Wednesday, 28 August 13

7. A hard thinker• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking be

mature!" 1 Cor. 14:20• It is not easy to be a leader of people

who can outthink you!• A leader must be one who, when he

sees a set of circumstances, thinks about it


• Leaders are critical (analytical) - not gullible or faddish or trendy, weighing things and considering pros and cons

• Having a significant rationale for the decisions that he makes


• Leaders are critical (analytical) - not gullible or faddish or trendy, weighing things and considering pros and cons

• Having a significant rationale for the decisions that he makes


• What are the current areas affecting society that you need to be thinking about as a church leader

• What changes are most affecting the day-to-day lives of your people?

• In what areas do you as a pastor need to be thinking ahead of your people?

• What should you think about politics, the price of onions, the LOC in Kashmir?


8. Articulate - speak clearly and well

• ar·tic·u·late • (of a person or a person's words)

Having or showing the ability to speak fluently and coherently.

• Express (an idea or feeling) fluently and coherently

• Stating your thoughts clearly


• Paul persuaded men 2 Cor. 5:11• Colossians 4:4 Paul asked the people

to pray for him, “that I might make it clear, as I ought to speak.”

• Do you complete sentences?• Is there a progression in your

discussion / argument


9...


9. Able to Teach

1 Timothy 3:2 - anyone who aspires to the office of overseer in the church should be able to teach

Who was the best teacher

you ever had? What made them a good

teacher?Wednesday, 28 August 13

9. Able to Teach

1 Timothy 3:2 - anyone who aspires to the office of overseer in the church should be able to teach


• What is a good teacher? A few suggestions from John Piper

• Asks himself hard questions, works through to answers, frames provocative questions for his learners to stimulate their thinking


•Sees the problems learners will have with his subject matter and encourages them and gets them over the humps of discouragement•Foresees objections and thinks them through so that he can answer them intelligently


•Explains hard things in terms that are clear•Is concrete, not abstract, specific, not general, precise, not vague, vulnerable, not evasive


•Asks, "So what?" – relating all issues / discoveries to life •Aims for transformation of life


Focus on what Scripture has to say, not your own ideas and opinions.And allow the Holy Spirit to make application according to each members need


Maintain an atmosphere of love and acceptance.Leads to open discussion.Never put down a person’s comments or contributionsAsk simple, clear, open-ended questions.


10...


10. A Good Judge of Character

• Jesus knew the hearts of men Jn. 2:24, But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man’s testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man.

• Jesus urged us to be perceptive in assessing others Matt. 7:15ff


15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.


21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'


• Know who is fit for what kind of work• Detect potential• Quickly hear the echoes of pride and

hypocrisy and worldliness• Is careful not to pigeonhole people


11. ??


11. Tactful - sensitive, understanding thoughtful

• Colossians 4:5, 6, Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.


•Proverbs 25:11- A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.•Tact wins peoples confidence•Do people hang their heads in embarrassment at the inappropriate or insensitive things you say or do?


•Tact is needed in confrontation – are you unwilling to approach a person who needs correction or rebuke?•There is a big difference between saying, "Your foot is too big for this shoe" and "This shoe is too small for your foot"


12. ??


12. Theologically Oriented

• God centred focussed - all of life has to do with God

• Colossians 3:17 • 1 Corinthians 2:16 • If we are to lead people to see and reflect

God's glory, we must think theologically about everything


• Work toward a synthesis of all things - see how things fit together…war sports, pornography, birthdays, literature, space travel, disease etc.

• How do they relate to God and his purposes?

• Knows about God and his ways - so that things generally fit into a pattern and make sense even when they are unpleasant - Eph 5:10

• I worship in a church that announces birthdays and wedding anniversaries each week during the service - what is a biblical perspective on this ‘celebration’

• Does God have any interest in sport? Does he care if India wins the cricket world cup? Should we?


• Work toward a synthesis of all things - see how things fit together…war sports, pornography, birthdays, literature, space travel, disease etc.

• How do they relate to God and his purposes?

• Knows about God and his ways - so that things generally fit into a pattern and make sense even when they are unpleasant - Eph 5:10


13. ??


13. A Visionary• Prov. 29:18• Joel 2:28 – dreamer• Acts 26: 19• The positive counterpart to

restlessness. We must not only be discontent with the present but also dreaming dreams of what could be in the future


• 2 Kings 6:15-17• Leaders can see the power

of God overshadowing the problems of the future

• Most people are experts at seeing all the problems and reasons not to move forward in a venture


No significant life can be lived for God, nor can any significant work be done for God, unless it is grounded firmly on the reality of spiritual vision. God-given vision is what lifts the Christian from the level of the ordinary…


…and enables them to achieve great things for God…the spiritual vision (these) people get from God takes hold of them and sets them up for life - all they can do is serve the vision God has given to them

Bob Gordon


When God gives a vision by His Spirit through His word of what He wants, and your mind and soul thrill to it, if you do not walk in the light of the vision, you will sink into servitude to a point of view which our Lord never had...


…You can never be the same after the unveiling of a truth. That moment marks you for going on as a more true disciple of Jesus Christ, or for going back as a deserter

Oswald Chambers


• A survey of young leaders found the following responses to the question, “Why do you follow the man who heads up the work in your area?”


• The Availability of the leader.

• When help or counsel was needed the leader was there


• The Commitment of the leader.

• The knowledge that the leader was committed to the people to help them grow and develop as people kept them joyfully engaged in the task


• The Vision that the man was able to impart to them.

• In this he communicated a plan by which their lives became significant


Effects of Vision

These will be shown in the life of the leader but then as they cast the vision the people

will show them too


1. It gives life

I am calledIt provides a life-changing thrust with new direction and purpose to our lives


• Examples:• Jacob / Israel

Genesis 32:22–32• Jerubaal / Gideon

Judges 6,7• Abram / Abraham

Genesis 17:1–27


"Dissatisfaction and discouragement are not caused by

the absence of things but the absence of vision."

Anonymous


2. It is Motivating

I will, I canVision has goals implicit within itVision carries the seed of God's purpose for our lives


• The revelation Moses received at the burning bush contained more than merely a personal word for Moses, it carried within it the seed of God's purpose for His people


• God would not have called us to go this way, if we did not have what it takes in Him to fulfil our part of His vision


3. It is Constraining

I must only• People with God's

vision in their hearts from then on can only do things that are in line with it


• Life is moulded and shaped by it• Cut themselves off from their old

life• Moses’ vision was specific• It had outline and content


• He was not free to go beyond that

• Moses was told by God, ‘See that you make them according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.’ Ex 25:40


4. It is Sanctifying

I will not• Get their act together• Discipline their life in order to

serve God


• No longer want to please themselves, but now want to set their lives apart for God and His service

• Moses was told, ‘Put off your shoes from your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground’ Ex 3:5


• God cut Moses off;• from his old life• from any other plans or ideas

he might have had• He could not live for anything

else ever again


Some Qualities of Visionary Leaders

• Prayerful - seeking God's leading• Aware of God's prompting• Able to translate vision into action -

a capacity for working to make the vision a reality


• Personally committed - even if it is not an easy task, the need to remain committed despite opposition

• Able to communicate the vision - the needed to enlist the support of the people, and share the vision with their people so that they became committed to it.

• Persevering


"Vision is essential for survival. It is spawned by faith, sustained by hope, sparked by imagination and strengthened by enthusiasm. It is greater than sight, deeper than a dream, broader than an idea. Vision encompasses vast vistas outside the realm of the predictable, the safe, the expected. No wonder we perish without it!”

Charles SwindollWednesday, 28 August 13

14. ??


14. Decisive

• In 1 Kings 18:21 Elijah cries out, "How long will you go limping with two different opinions: if the Lord is God follow him; but if Baal then follow him."

• A leader cannot be paralysed by indecisiveness

• He will take risks rather than do nothing


•Leaders soak in prayer and the Word and then rest in God's sovereignty, knowing that he will very likely make some mistakes


15...


15. Restful• Ps. 127:1,2 - Ultimately productivity rests

in God• Jesus said to his busy disciples, "Come

away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest a while” Mk. 6:31 – also Matt 11:28ff

• Ex. 20:9,10• Not so addicted to work that he is unable

to rest• A good steward of his life and health


“Psalm 23 Antithesis”

The clock is my dictator; I shall not rest.It makes me lie down only when exhausted.It leads me to deep depression.It hounds my soul.It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity’s sake.Even though I run frantically from task to task,I will never get it all done,For my “ideal” is with me.


Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule.They anoint my head with migraines.My in-basket overflows.Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me all the days of my life,And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.

Marcia K. Hornok


16. Anointed

• Acts 10:38• Isaiah 10:27• Jesus is called the

Christ• The Anointed One• Matt 16:13ff


The Anointing


Our relationship with [the] Holy Spirit

•Baptised Acts 1:5•Comes on 1:8• Filled 2:4•Received 8:17• Poured out 10:45


• Lied to 5:3• Tested 5:8•Resisted 7:51•Grieved Eph 4:30•Quenched 1Th 5:19• Insulted Heb 10:29


• Antioch Acts 11:26...For a whole year they met with the church and taught a great many people. And in Antioch the disciples were first called Christians.

• What does this imply for us


• OT background is physical & spiritual

• Exodus 30:22-25


•The goodness of the constituents is released in the crushing and mixing• Perfume, fragrance• Taste

• The need for brokenness


• Jacob – Genesis 32• Isaiah – Isaiah 6• Jesus – on the cross• David – rebellion of Absalom,

death of Bathsheba's child• 1 Corinthians 1:26-29• 2 Corinthians 4:7ff


•It is a holy anointing oil• Set apart for God

• People – Aaron Ps 133• Things Ex. 30:26ff• Same physically but spiritually

different! 1 Cor 4:9


• 2 Samuel 6• David feared God – verse 9

• Feared to touch the anointed men of God

• 1 Sam 24:4, Ps 105:15, 1 Sam 26:9ff, Heb 10:31


• Holiness becomes a dynamic principle

• Not simply a moral attribute• God’s anointing brings the value• Ps 51:10-12• Heb 12:14


“[in holiness] The basic idea is not that of separation ... but

the positive thought of encounter which inevitably demands certain modes of

response.”H. Seebas


• It brings a fear of the Lord• A sense of the personal presence of

God• Seen in David 1 Samuel 6• Acts 2:43• 1 Samuel 11:6-7• Prov. 1:7, 8:13, 9:10, 10:27,

14:27,15:33, 16:6, 19:23


Man does not possess the

anointing – the anointing possesses

man


The example of Jesus - Luke 4•Anointing can attract or repel• Luke 4:1, 14, 18ff• 4:14 – attraction – power of Sp.• 4:22ff – repels• Recognition

• Demons Lk 4:33ff, Mk 5:9• By men Jn 19 – Pilate recognised

Jesus’ authority, Matt 8:8ff Wednesday, 28 August 13

•Spirit of the Lord is upon…• Coming on of HS – frequent in OT• Judges 6:34 – Gideon • Judges 13:25 – Samson• Acts 2• Acts 4• Acts 7:55


•Anointing to preach / proclaim• God – His visions, values, Word• The prophets – OT & NT


•An apostolic spirit – an impetus to send

• Apostle – from Greek for sent one• 2 Corinthians 2:17• Matt 28:18ff• Acts 13


•A dynamic spirit• Real, active power• Acts 10:38• Acts 2:22 – Gods accreditation –

Matt 3:16, 17 – accredited by/ to God first

• 1 Cor 2:4• Acts 1:8


17...


17. Full of Faith

• Heb 11:67 principles of faith1. Relationship - Matt.6:92. Openness - 1 Sam. 3, Speak Lord3. Memory – Ebeneezers /

Thanksgiving


4.Spiritual gifts (Enabling) - 1 Cor. 12:7, 1 Peter 4:10, Rom. 12:65.Struggle - self - Rom. 8:7 – mind - circumstances - Jer. 32:176.Simplicity - Luke 11:9 – Ask - James 1:67.Perseverance - Heb. 12:1


18...


18. Persevering

•Matthew 24:13•Galatians 6:9…Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.


•Today immediate gratification is usually demanded – so very few people excel in the virtue of perseverance and keep on in the same ministry when there is significant difficulty•Vision without perseverance results in fairy tales not fruitful ministry•The long haul is hard, but it pays - the big tree is felled by many, many little chops


Biblical Qualifications

of a Pastor

Adapted from an original idea by:Pastor Scott Thomas


http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/biblical-qualifications-of-a-pastor/






Qualifications for Overseers

3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be above reproach, the husband of one wife,[b]sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome,not a lover of money.

What does the Bible say?

2 key passages:1 Timothy 3:7-13

Titus 1:5-9


Qualifications for Overseers

3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be above reproach, the husband of one wife,[b]sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome,not a lover of money.


http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20tim%203;tit%201&version=ESVUK;MSG;NLT;NIVUK;DARBY#fen-ESVUK-29717a

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20tim%203;tit%201&version=ESVUK;MSG;NLT;NIVUK;DARBY#fen-ESVUK-29717a

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20tim%203;tit%201&version=ESVUK;MSG;NLT;NIVUK;DARBY#fen-ESVUK-29717b

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20tim%203;tit%201&version=ESVUK;MSG;NLT;NIVUK;DARBY#fen-ESVUK-29717b

4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.


Qualifications for Deacons

8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.10 And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless.


11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife,managing their children and their own households well.13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.


Qualifications for Elders

5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.


7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. 9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.


Above Reproach(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)

This is the summarising characteristic.“Guiltless, blameless,

having clean hands, sinless”In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life above reproach is the first requirement in both lists.Thomas suggests that the other items on the list explain what “above reproach” means.


Above Reproach(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)

This is the summarising characteristic.“Guiltless, blameless,

having clean hands, sinless”In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life above reproach is the first requirement in both lists.Thomas suggests that the other items on the list explain what “above reproach” means.

“as a leader you are supposed to be above reproach, and what that

means is that you can’t even give the appearance that you’re going to

do something wrong”Kevin Thomas


Rob Wilkersonhttp://www.robwilkerson.net/2010/05/what-is-character-of-gospel-

driven_06.html


http://www.robwilkerson.net/2010/05/what-is-character-of-gospel-driven_06.html




1. A Pastor must be devoted to his wife

One-woman man (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim 3:2).The pastor’s marriage illustrates Christ’s love for His church—His bride (Eph. 5:22 ff.). A Pastor must love his wife exclusively with his mind, will and emotions and not just his body.


Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7...in an understanding way - that means that we need to know our wife, not just women in general.

[http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/this-beautiful-mess-called-marriage/]


http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/this-beautiful-mess-called-marriage/%5D

http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/this-beautiful-mess-called-marriage/%5D

•It isn't what you get out of marriage but what you put into it that brings glory to God.

•Do you know your wife's needs? Have you discussed them with her? Have you asked her what kind of husband she wants you to be?


CJ Mahaney suggests three ways that husbands can nourish and cherish their wives (particularly in the context of ministry).1. Care for her soul.Care for the children in the morning - she can have a devotional time and get ready for the day.Help with her spiritual diet - share good books etc.Give her half of your day off


Protect your wife re her involvement in the church. Your wife is not the associate pastorIdentify her gifts, her capacityProtect her from discouragement Encourage her and her personal example as wife and mother of our children.


2. Cultivate consistent communication.

Your wife wants to and needs to talk - do both of you talk, do you have time to talk?

Many pastors have a weekly date night to cultivate their relationship and romance.


Do you take an interest in her world and ask her about what she is doing?

Tell her about your world and your heart - she is probably your number 1 prayer support.

You need to relate to each other, not just relax together.


3. Create romantic memories.

Husbands, it is our privilege and responsibility to romance our wives.

Be intentional about being romantic

Study your wife so that you know what would be romantic for her.

When is the last time you planned and executed a romantic memory for your wife?

If you don’t know what to do ask her.


Immaturity – age doesn’t mean development.

Lack Of Spiritual Maturity To Judge Character Of Your Mate – You marry reality, not a dream.

Selfishness

Passive Men Without Much Drive.

Reasons why marriages fail - by Crawford Loritts


Inability For Meaningful CommunicationFear And Lack Of IntimacyLack Of Connectedness With Desire For Two Separate LivesLack Of Purposeful Family Development.Technology Hinders Ability To Communicate Face-To-Face.Not Accepting Responsibility For Problems


Questions to get to know your wife better

•How can I demonstrate my love to you in a meaningful way?

•When do you feel most appreciated?•How can I pray for you?•How can I help you to know God better?•In what ways have I sinned against you?


•How could I help us to reconcile our misunderstandings better?

•What is one way I could really serve you?•How do I make you feel emotionally?•What would help you to be more satisfied

sexually?•In what ways could I help relieve physical

stress?


2. A Pastor’s children must be in submission

...though not perfect (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim 3:4-5).If a man does not know how to manage his own family, he will not know how to take care of God’s church.A Pastor’s qualification for the church starts in his home management as he leads them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).


10 Strategies for Raising Healthy Kids that Most Parents Ignore

Prioritize family responsibilities over extracurricular activities. Eat together as a family.Let kids begin to solve their own problems.Let kids fail when the consequences are small.


Don’t reward kids for their performance. Allow kids to experience consequences to their actions.Don’t become a kid-centric family.Set boundaries and use appropriate discipline. Be real and be vulnerable. Make healthy marriage a priority.


Praying for your children JD and Kim Crowley

For their FaithGrant them a heart of repentance from sin.Give them faith in Christ from an early age.Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they bear the fruit of the Spirit.Lead them to be baptized into your church.Make them members of a strong church with godly elders.

Sometimes it is easy to repeat the same (good) prayer requests for your children. I thought these

suggestions were excellent and help bring freshness into your

praying.


Praying for your children JD and Kim Crowley

For their FaithGrant them a heart of repentance from sin.Give them faith in Christ from an early age.Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they bear the fruit of the Spirit.Lead them to be baptized into your church.Make them members of a strong church with godly elders.


Make them members of a strong church with godly elders.Give them spiritual gifts for use in the church, and help them faithfully use them.Lead them always to increase in holiness.Keep them within the orthodox faith of Christ and the apostles.Protect them from false teachers/teaching.Make them fruitful proclaimers of the gospel, filled with love for all.


Make them humbly committed to daily prayer.Give them hunger for daily Bible reading.Fill them with love and forbearance toward others.Help them endure trials with faith and joy.Help them guard their conscience.May their lives be like the sun that rises stronger and stronger until the full of day.


For their WisdomGive them hearts that constantly overflow with thankfulness.Make them peacemakers.Give them a vocation/skill/work that provides for their family and is useful to society.Give them a sense of purpose and joy in their work.Rescue them from the fear of man.Provide for them a good education.Help them apply themselves diligently to their studies and other work.Rescue them from laziness and dishonesty.


For their Influences and RelationshipsMay they be quick to forgive.Give them godly friends all their lives who will influence them to love God.Give them godly influences from “uncles and aunts” and “substitute parents,” especially as our influence wanes.Don’t let them go through a time of teenage rebellion.Help them remain pure and enter marriage as virgins.


May they marry only strong believers.Save, sanctify, and bless their future spouse.Keep divorce away from their lives and their children’s lives for many generations.Give them the gift of children and the grace to raise them up in the faith of Christ.If they are to remain single, make them unusually fruitful for God’s kingdom.Protect them from predators.Protect them from deviant sexual desires.


For their Physical LifeHeal and protect them from sicknesses and diseases.Protect them from accidents.Give their country peace in their lifetime.


3. A Pastor is a faithful Steward (Titus 1:7)

Here the term used is overseer (Greek episkopos). It is not another office, but a functional title of the elder. It is what he does.He is a steward, a manager of God’s resources and Jesus’ flock. He takes responsibility, but not ownership.


4. A Pastor must be humble - not arrogant

Titus 1:7A pastor must constantly demonstrate the gospel by admitting when he is wrong and assuming responsibility and restoring relationships.“Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in the light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness” CJ Mahaney


•Thinking that what you do or say is better than what others do or say

•Always wanting to get your own way

•Arguing when you are not right or — when you are — insisting stubbornly or with bad manners

Following is an excerpt from the writings of St. Josemaria which can help us identify a lack of humility in ourselves.Saint Josemaría Escrivá de Balaguer was a Roman Catholic priest from Spain who founded Opus Dei, an organization of laypeople and priests dedicated to the teaching that everyone is called to holiness and that ordinary life is a path to sanctity.January 9, 1902 - June 26, 1975


•Thinking that what you do or say is better than what others do or say

•Always wanting to get your own way

•Arguing when you are not right or — when you are — insisting stubbornly or with bad manners


•Giving your opinion without being asked for it, when charity does not demand you to do so

•Despising the point of view of others

•Not being aware that all the gifts and qualities you have are on loan

•Not acknowledging that you are unworthy of all honour or esteem, even the ground you are treading on or the things you own


•Mentioning yourself as an example

•Speaking badly about yourself, so that they may form a good opinion of you, or contradict you

•Making excuses when rebuked

•Hiding some humiliating faults from your director, so that he may not lose the good opinion he has of you

•Hearing praise with satisfaction, or being glad that others have spoken well of you


•Being hurt that others are held in greater esteem than you

•Refusing to carry out menial tasks

•Seeking or wanting to be singled out

•Letting drop words of self-praise in conversation, or words that might show your honesty, your wit or skill, your professional prestige…

•Being ashamed of not having certain possessions…


5. A Pastor must not be quick-tempered Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3

No man will be of any use in the kingdom that is quick-tempered.Jesus was angry at the abuse of others in the name of religion and the dishonouring of God.We get angry at how “things” affects us.


6. A Pastor must be sober - not a drunkard(Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3)

This is at first reading an overindulgence in alcohol...But we need to check ourselves for any addictive behaviour.What are you addicted to? Food, work, success, peoples approval, prestige, your phone...?


7. A Pastor must be peaceful - not violent Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3

The words or carry power to influence. Do you words infuriate or embarrass? Are you careful with your words?Are you a peacemaker (Not a peace-keeper)...Does the peace of God minister to people through you?


8. A Pastor must have financial integrity

Not greedy for gain (Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3; 1 Peter 5:3)A pastor is to be upright in his financial dealingsHe must not be open to any accusation of pursuing money over the kingdom of God.


9. A pastor must be hospitable

Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2

“A pastor’s home is to be open for others to enjoy. A pastor’s home is not a heaven on earth, but rather a place of ministry.”

Heb 13:2, 1 Peter 4:9, Matt 25:34ff, Rom 12:13


2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.


2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

How can you use your home for the glory of God and still retain a proper family life?

Should you home always be open or can you say to people they cannot come at certain times?


10. A Pastor must be a lover of good

Titus 1:8A pastor genuinely loves what is good. He does not just think he should love it.


10. A Pastor must be a lover of good

Titus 1:8A pastor genuinely loves what is good. He does not just think he should love it.


11. A Pastor must be self-controlled

Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2Self-control is a characteristic of every area of a pastor’s life:Habits, diet, time, mouth, exercise, relationships, sex, money...


12. A Pastor must be upright

Titus 1:8Being upright means that he has integrity in his heart, his relationships and in how he treats others.


13. A Pastor must be holy

Titus 1:8Holy = set apart.His life is devoted wholeheartedly to Jesus externally and internally.Hebrews 12:14


13. A Pastor must be holy

Titus 1:8Holy = set apart.His life is devoted wholeheartedly to Jesus externally and internally.Hebrews 12:14

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will

be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who

called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”


14. A Pastor must be able to teach

Titus 1:9; 1 Tim 3:2All of the other qualifications are character qualities. This is the only ability-based requirement. He is to be able to teach sound doctrine, not just be able to communicate well.


14. A Pastor must be able to teach

His teaching can be to one or two, to twenty, to a hundred or to a thousand. Most of the churches in Crete were house churches. The elders were to defend the faith once delivered to the saints against the numerous false teachers that arose.


15. A Pastor must be spiritually Mature

1 Tim 3:6Positions of authority without spiritual maturity lead to the trap of pride. When pride grows in a man, sin abounds.


The chief occupational hazard of leadership is pride.

John Stott


16. A Pastor must be respectable

1 Tim 3:7That does not mean that everyone must like him or even appreciate him. It means that there is no credible witness to an ongoing sinful behavior.


16. A Pastor must be respectable

1 Tim 3:7That does not mean that everyone must like him or even appreciate him. It means that there is no credible witness to an ongoing sinful behavior.


17. A Pastor must be an example to the flock

1 Peter 5:3Elders are examples of Biblical expressions conversations, time management, marriage, parenting, worship, relationships...


17. A Pastor must be an example to the flock

1 Peter 5:3Elders are examples of Biblical expressions conversations, time management, marriage, parenting, worship, relationships...

“A pastor should be someone your sons could pattern their life after and

the kind of man your daughter should marry.”


What should you do if an elder violates one of these requirements?1 Timothy 5:19-20 warns us not to accuse an elder flippantly, “Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all,so that the rest may stand in fear.”Matthew 18:15-18 then gives us the appropriate steps to take.


The end...For now at least


Date post:	13-May-2015
Category:	Spiritual
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