State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company • State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, Aurora, Ontario 1010094 Rick Beer, Agent 522 King Street West Brockville, ON K6V 3T2 Bus: 613-342-9076 [email protected]$5 OFF Self-Inking Rubber Stamps Some conditions apply. See store for details. Offer expires April 30, 2012 We Print, Ship & More! • Digital Print & Copying • Receiving Services incl. Mailbox Rentals • Packaging & Moving Supplies • Worldwide Courier & Shipping Services • And so much more! 79 –163 Ormond St Brockville, ON K6V 7E6 T: 613.342.0333 [email protected]www.hua-functional-fitness.webs.com HEARD UNDERSTOOD ACKNOWLEDGED Air Conditioned, Clean and Professional! 613-345-1482 NOW OFFERING CLASSES Work Out On Your Own Personal or Group Training Fitness Classes 212 King St W Brockville, On hua-functional-fi[email protected]The Shake That Tastes Like A Cake! 613-341-7846 613-803-1309 [email protected]www.joinbob.ws Start Your 90 Day Challenge! www.overview.visalus.com ViSalus Independent Distributor LOSE WEIGHT SAVE MONEY 9 minute oil change! No appointments! And Warranty approved! Free Fluid Top Offs! Free Maintenance Inspection! Tire Sales & Changes Overs! 613.342.3000 103 Broome Road , Brockville ON www.prooilchange.com Get With The PRO`s Oil Changes Starting at $29. 99! Open 7 Days A Week! SEE OPPORTUNITY. SEE WHAT’S HUMANLY POSSIBLE AT MANPOWER.COM 613-342-0250 Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s Edition To Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist Jon: 613 342 0428 jon@mcguffysnews.com Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.com McGuffy's Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada! wwww.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca Brockville and 1000 Islands [email protected]Johnstown, On Your Princecraft Mercury Argo Dealer 613-925-5560 Great Spring Prices On New Fishing Boats & Pontoons VOL. 5 Issue 16 By Any Other Name? I Am Doing Great Dear Lord: So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self indulgent I have not whined, cursed or eaten any chocolate. However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help aſter that. Amen. An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and aſter eating, the wives leſt the table and went into the kitchen. e two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.” e other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?” e first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... e one that’s red and has thorns.” “Do you mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Transcript
State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company • State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, Aurora, Ontario1010094
5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!
903 County Rd 21 R.R. # 4 Spencerville,On613-341-1195 www.bonlenplace.com
BonLen Place o�ers an independent Yet active adult lifestyle combining the advantages of serene country setting with nearby shopping, medical care & entertainment.
Features & Benefits
Independent Carefree Retirement Living
Stunning 1 & 2 bdrm suites • Stainless steel appliances • Rich cherry cabinetry • Heat & hydro included • Secured entrance • Safety walk-in tubs • High speed internet available And much more!
Book Your
Personal
Visit Today!
Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist
Great Spring Prices On New Fishing Boats & Pontoons
VOL.
5
Issu
e 16
✓ My Dog Groomer Pawla ✓ Aqua Pools Plus
✓ Rosemary’s Optical Shop ✓ Maple Heights Tree Service
✓ C21 Rick Burt www.c21burt.com
By Any Other Name?
I Am Doing GreatDear Lord:So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self indulgent I have not whined, cursed or eaten any chocolate.However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?” The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen
and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Empowering Thoughts
Qui
ck
Joke
Statistics
Why do rabbits do so well at school? ~They’re experts at multiplication.
The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal. ~ Frank Pittman
A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup. ~ Norm Crosby
Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you. ~ Mae West
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly under-stood that they are on the same side. ~ Zig Ziglar
Lebron James - Collecting Headbands
Jennifer Aniston - Hiking, camping, getting closer to nature, surfing the internet
Kobe Bryant - Soccer
Phil Mickelson - Pilot’s license, Winning Championships
Madonna - Yoga, Reading, Writing
Roger Federer - Cards, sitting on the beach, playing /watching cricket and ping pong
In a rscheearch stduy cnodcuetd at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mt-taer wihch oredr the ltteers in a wrod are wierttn. The olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be mexid up cmopletley and you can sitll raed it cocrrelty. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn barin deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but sees the wrod as a wlohe!
Had some trouble reading this? Well, in a research study conducted by Cambridge University, it doesn’t matter which order the letters of a word are written. The only important thing is that the first and the last letters are in the right place. The rest can be mixed up completely and you can still read it correctly. This is because the human brain does not read every letter by itself but sees the word as a whole!
CelebritiesEver wonder what the celebrities love doing in their spare time?
“In �e Of Brockville”
What Do You Want
To Re�ect?
Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner
May 4 Real DealMay 11 BacklashMay 12 Blues Daddy 3-7pm
May 18 The Journey MenMay 25 Full CircleMay 26 Full Circle 3-7pm
April 20 Jack Daniels BandApril 21 Annual Ice Breaker 8 Ball Charity Tournament $20 entry fee sign up at bar ( all day)
April 27 - Little CaliforniaApril 28 - Gypsy Moon 8-12pm
(Sam’s Birthday)
VISIT
OU
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EW W
EBSITE W
WW
.MC
GU
FFYSNEW
SBROC
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ILLE.CA
!
Silly
Q
uote
Logically Speaking
Marveling At The Moon
I am lighter than what I am made of and more hidden than seen. What am I?
I am an iceberg. Answer:
The last man to step on the moon was Gene Cernan in 1972.
There are over 500,000 craters on the moon that can be seen from Earth.
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way. ~ Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
Try It!
Quotations
Sometimes we forget the little and simple things in life. You never know what can happen when you make small adjust-ments. Try it, a small adjustment could result in a huge success.• Strive for excellence, not perfection.
• Be on time.
• Don’t make excuses.
• Don’t argue.
• Get organized.
• Be kind to kind people - Be even kinder to unkind people.
• Let someone cut ahead of you in line.• Take time to be alone.
Quotations: Prosperity
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant. If we did not some-times taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. ~ Anne Bradstreet
Prosperity is only an instrument to be used, not a deity to be worshipped.~ Calvin Coolidge
Leonardo QuizLeonardo da Vinci was born on April 15, 1452, in Vinci, Tuscany. To cel-ebrate his birthday, try your hand at this Leonardo trivia quiz. 1. How many paintings of Leonardo da Vinci survive today?2. Leonardo was one of the first artists in Italy to use oil paints. What was in use before that?3. How many times was Leonardo married?4. What type of food did Leonardo not eat?5. What part of Leonardo’s body did anthropologists piece together?6. The man who commissioned the Mona Lisa never received his painting. Why not?7. Where is the Mona Lisa now?8. What is unique about the way Leonardo wrote notes in his notebook?9. What did Leonard do so that he could understand human anatomy better to create more life-like works?10. Leonard died in 1519 while being held in whose arms?
1. Only 15.
2. Egg tempura.
3. He w
as never mar-
ried. 4. M
eat. 5. H
is fingerprint.6. Leonard took it w
ith him
wherever he w
ent. 7. In the Louvre in Paris.8. Th
ey are written
backwards in m
irror w
riting.9. H
e dissected bodies. 10. Th
e King of France.
How do you spell relief ? R-o-l-a-i-d-s Answer:
Guess The SloganFamous advertising slogans. See if you remember.
Smile
Funny BunnyWhat did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit? ~ Cheer up!
How do you make a rabbit stew? ~ Make it wait for 3 hours!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boyscout? ~ A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. – William Arthur WardWrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. – Mark Twain
Every scowling face also contains the shapes of engag-ing smiles, just waiting to be released. – Dr. Sun Wolf
Qui
ck
Quo
te If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there. ~ Lewis Carroll
Silly
Q
uote
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yell-ing? Sometimes it seemed that way. ~ Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
Ans
wer
s:
Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129
24/7 Service
Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.
3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.
Call the plumbing & water experts today!
Need a special Book?Give us a call
613-342-5728
This areas #1 supplier of topographical maps & river [email protected]
Open 7 Days a
Week!
Courtney SadlerOwner
73 King St WBrockville, ON
www.leedscountybooks.caShop On-line
With Us!Order
Any Book!!
Pick up McGuffy’s News every week!!
At over 140 Locations in Brockville/AthensNorth Augusta/LynMallorytown & Rockport
HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5249
Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service
Early Spring Special!Save 25% OFF
We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!
Economic Development O�ce1 King St. W Brockville(613) 342-8772 ext [email protected]
Boosters & Ambassadors
THINK BROCKVILLE SAFE AND SECURE A Health Organization World designated safe communityA TRANSPORTATION HUB Highway 401 accessas well as air, rail and shipping port facilitiesUSA GATEWAY Two international bridges onlyminutes awayWIRED AND CONNECTED Extensive �bre andwireless connectivity with superior bandwidthSTRATEGICALLY LOCATED Centrally located inthe Montreal and Toronto economic corridorand one hour from the Nation’s Capital regionQUALITY OF PLACE Superior lifestyle optionsin the heart of the renowned 1000 IslandsTHE PEOPLE Labour availability, loyaltyand access to skillsHISTORICAL Ontario’s Oldest Communityand within United Nations Biosphere.
We invite you to Think Brockville - Think Growth & Promote your Hometown Charm Re�ect on the attributes of community below &
“sell up” the City of the 1000 Islands
Advertise YourNon-Pro�t Community Event
in McGu�y’s News!
+ HST00
Word Ads Starting at$15.(50 Words or Less)
Call Jon613-342-0428Today!
jon@mcgu�ysnews.com
VISIT
OU
R N
EW W
EBSITE W
WW
.MC
GU
FFYSNEW
SBROC
KV
ILLE.CA
!
CRO
SS
WO
RD
Rust Check Auto Care Plus
A proven Canadian Product Since 1973
11 Main St. East, Athens, ON613 - 924 - 8080
NewLocation
in Athens!
“often imitated, never duplicated”
Auto Detailing - 4 Packages to choose from!Full Tire Sales and ServiceRust Proo�ng/Protects new and old metals
Ask About Our Spring Specials!!!
Fencing
Across2. Drill6. Standing as placed8. Refined grace
9. Discernment12. Cut13. Remove extraneous item
16. Two person combat17. Division of combat18. Something pending19. Lunge or thrust
Down1. A hit acknowledge-ment2. Skillful3. Slice back
4. Sword edge5. Finish7. Instance of clemency9. An outer covering10. Short, sharp weapon
11. Hamper free move-ment12. Rate of motion14. A long stroke15. Thrust of dagger
A man calls a policeman over claiming to have witnessed a crime;Witness: This man has been murdered!Policeman: Badly?Witness: No, they did quite well, he is dead.
Witness A Crime
Very Punny• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and
I’llshowyouA-flatminer.• When a clock is hungry it goes back four
seconds.• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine
was fully recovered.• AgrenadefellontoakitchenfloorinFrance,
resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.• You are stuck with your debt if you can’t
budge it.• Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN
down under.
Cup Of Joe1. Which has more caffeine: dark or medium roasted coffee? 2. Coffee processors used to discard the caffeine they obtained through the decaffeinating process. They no longer discard this excess caffeine. In stead, what do they do with it?3. The average cup of coffee contains about 125 milligrams of caffeine. How much is in the average chocolate bar?4. How many cups of coffee would you have to drink in rapid succession before reaching a lethal dose of caffeine?5. How long does it take for caffeine to have an effect on your nervous system once it is ingested?
1. Medium (more caffeine is burned off the longer it is roasted).2. They sell it to pharmaceutical companies.3. 30 milligrams.4. 80 to 100 cups.5. About 15 minutes.
Answers:
Getting OnOLD ARTISTS ... never die, they just get the brush-off.
Good Question1. Day light savings time - why are they saving it
and where do they keep it?
2. Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
3. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
4. Do clowns wear really big socks?
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: By Norse code! Qui
ck
Rid
dle
Call (613) 342-0428 to have your business featured here!
Spotlight on Business
Your local Dog Groomer
My Dog Groomer Pawla is conveniently located in the city of Brock-ville, off ering quality dog grooming services for your forever friend.
Owner/operator Paula Fairfi eld has been in the grooming fi eld since 1988, apprenticed and graduated with a certifi ed groomer, as well as having taught the class “Introduction to Dog Grooming Techniques” at St. Lawrence College. Her business is appointment-based, off ering client fl exibility and timely results in a fun-loving environment.
Along with the milder spring temperatures also comes the muck and mud. Wouldn’t it be nice to have the family pet looking fresh and clean? And how about those nails too? My Dog Groomer Pawla off ers a variety of clips to suit your dogs’ needs, as well as a good thorough brush and bath and ear cleaning.
Tidy paws get a round of applause so give your dog an audience by giving My Dog Groomer Pawla a call at 613-345-6220, or visit www.mydoggroomerpawla.com for pricing estimates and other information.
Loving Atmosphere- Trims/Baths/Nails613-345-6220
Christie Aluminum Products
Custom windows that are a perfect �t!An air tight investment!High quality, energy e�cient vinyl windows and doors!
I Am Not a Victim! Kevin Brown, Director of Franchise Sales for SERVPRO in Nashville, TN
a QBQ! believer and Miller friend makes me think when he says, “Life is fair … bad things happen to all of us.”
How often do we think life is not fair? Ever made statements like these? The bank got us a "no interest" mortgage we now can't afford. It’s not fair.
My kids don’t ever listen to me. It’s not fair. My retirement account is way down. It’s not fair. I didn’t get the promotion/I lost my job/I was denied a raise. It’s not fair. Others don't work as hard as I do. It's not fair. My boss doesn’t communicate, coach, or seem to care. It’s not fair. My employer cut our benefits. It’s not fair. The referees were awful and we lost the game. It's not fair. My staff doesn't seem to get what we're trying to do here. It's not fair. I listen to others more than they listen to me. It’s not fair. I’m buried in high interest credit card debt. It’s not fair. My home is worth less than I owe on it. It’s not fair. The neighbors have a new boat/car/pool and we don’t. It’s not fair. My co-workers are difficult and management doesn't deal with it. It’s not fair. Professional athletes make more than teachers. It’s not fair. The government doesn’t exist to take care of me after all. It’s not fair. Oh, and here’s a bonus one: We’re going through a ton of change at work. It’s not fair!!!
My wife, Karen, has a favorite phrase. “It just is,” she’ll say. Meaning, sometimes stuff just happens, circumstances just exist, and people simply act like people. The truth is we were never promised “fairness.” Humans make hurtful comments, accidents occur, events take a turn we don’t expect, others are blessed with talents we lack, things happen out of our control—sometimes way out of our control.
Childhood friend, Philip Foltman, and I were both born May 28, 1958. I, though, am three hours older and never let him forget it. Growing up in Ithaca, N.Y., we graduated from Ithaca High in 1976, were pals during our college years, and he served as my “best man” in 1980. And that he is: the best. But in comparison to Phil, I am a victim! I have “the right” to be angry, hurt, bitter. It’s not fair!
How come? Because for over 35 years Philip has had something that I have not: A mom. In fact, he still has his mom. I can barely remember mine. I've not had a mother since Gerald Ford was President, the Bee Gees were hot, and Star Wars was only in George Lucas’ imagination. It was May 20, 1975, while attending a “ladies’ meeting,” Mary Miller, age 51, expe-
rienced a blinding headache, slumped on a friend’s sofa, and was rushed to the hospital. Two hours later she was gone. A quiet but deadly killer had taken her. “Aneurysm” is a word I wished I’d never learned, and certainly not at 16. It wasn’t fair. But Philip, my buddy, was there that tragic day in 1975. Within an hour he was at my house and five days later he and his mom “Mrs. F” came to my mom’s memorial service.
Three and a half decades later, he still has his mom. Phil is a fortunate man. But so am I, as I have many blessings ...
Karen is still my best friend, there are seven special people ages 27 down to 11 that call me “Dad,” a beautiful baby grandson, Joshua, has joined the Miller clan, and I love what I do. And just as I certainly would never hold it against Philip for still having his mom, I shouldn’t hold it against anyone for having more of anything than I do. Envy doesn’t wear well. Neither does the It’s not fair! We're all victims! mentality that pervades our society today.
Now here's what's not fair: Begrudging people their achievements, success, possessions, financial status, and good fortune.
When I hold it against others that they have more of anything than I do, I have chosen to be a victim. And victim thinking, self-pity, and envy eat away at my soul, destroy my ability to contribute, and make me a lesser person. Maybe even a small person.
Bottomline, when I play victim, I serve nobody—not even myself. It's far bet-ter to flip the switch and completely eliminate victim thinking from my life.
Kevin Brown is right: Bad things happen to all of us. Sometimes those bad things are tragedies beyond our control and sometimes they’re the result of our own mistakes. Either way, the secret to life success is in how I respond, the choices I make, and how I talk to myself.
And I, like you, will engage in healthy, productive, and truth-based self-talk saying:
• Successandhappinessarebasedonchoicenotchance.• Mydecisionshavedirectedmetomydestination.• IampersonallyaccountableforeverychoiceImake.• Iamnotavictim!Thoughts like these enable each of us to be outstanding. It’s just as simple as
that!
Christie Aluminum Products
Custom windows that are a perfect �t!An air tight investment!High quality, energy e�cient vinyl windows and doors!
I Am Not a Victim! Kevin Brown, Director of Franchise Sales for SERVPRO in Nashville, TN
a QBQ! believer and Miller friend makes me think when he says, “Life is fair … bad things happen to all of us.”
How often do we think life is not fair? Ever made statements like these? The bank got us a "no interest" mortgage we now can't afford. It’s not fair.
My kids don’t ever listen to me. It’s not fair. My retirement account is way down. It’s not fair. I didn’t get the promotion/I lost my job/I was denied a raise. It’s not fair. Others don't work as hard as I do. It's not fair. My boss doesn’t communicate, coach, or seem to care. It’s not fair. My employer cut our benefits. It’s not fair. The referees were awful and we lost the game. It's not fair. My staff doesn't seem to get what we're trying to do here. It's not fair. I listen to others more than they listen to me. It’s not fair. I’m buried in high interest credit card debt. It’s not fair. My home is worth less than I owe on it. It’s not fair. The neighbors have a new boat/car/pool and we don’t. It’s not fair. My co-workers are difficult and management doesn't deal with it. It’s not fair. Professional athletes make more than teachers. It’s not fair. The government doesn’t exist to take care of me after all. It’s not fair. Oh, and here’s a bonus one: We’re going through a ton of change at work. It’s not fair!!!
My wife, Karen, has a favorite phrase. “It just is,” she’ll say. Meaning, sometimes stuff just happens, circumstances just exist, and people simply act like people. The truth is we were never promised “fairness.” Humans make hurtful comments, accidents occur, events take a turn we don’t expect, others are blessed with talents we lack, things happen out of our control—sometimes way out of our control.
Childhood friend, Philip Foltman, and I were both born May 28, 1958. I, though, am three hours older and never let him forget it. Growing up in Ithaca, N.Y., we graduated from Ithaca High in 1976, were pals during our college years, and he served as my “best man” in 1980. And that he is: the best. But in comparison to Phil, I am a victim! I have “the right” to be angry, hurt, bitter. It’s not fair!
How come? Because for over 35 years Philip has had something that I have not: A mom. In fact, he still has his mom. I can barely remember mine. I've not had a mother since Gerald Ford was President, the Bee Gees were hot, and Star Wars was only in George Lucas’ imagination. It was May 20, 1975, while attending a “ladies’ meeting,” Mary Miller, age 51, expe-
rienced a blinding headache, slumped on a friend’s sofa, and was rushed to the hospital. Two hours later she was gone. A quiet but deadly killer had taken her. “Aneurysm” is a word I wished I’d never learned, and certainly not at 16. It wasn’t fair. But Philip, my buddy, was there that tragic day in 1975. Within an hour he was at my house and five days later he and his mom “Mrs. F” came to my mom’s memorial service.
Three and a half decades later, he still has his mom. Phil is a fortunate man. But so am I, as I have many blessings ...
Karen is still my best friend, there are seven special people ages 27 down to 11 that call me “Dad,” a beautiful baby grandson, Joshua, has joined the Miller clan, and I love what I do. And just as I certainly would never hold it against Philip for still having his mom, I shouldn’t hold it against anyone for having more of anything than I do. Envy doesn’t wear well. Neither does the It’s not fair! We're all victims! mentality that pervades our society today.
Now here's what's not fair: Begrudging people their achievements, success, possessions, financial status, and good fortune.
When I hold it against others that they have more of anything than I do, I have chosen to be a victim. And victim thinking, self-pity, and envy eat away at my soul, destroy my ability to contribute, and make me a lesser person. Maybe even a small person.
Bottomline, when I play victim, I serve nobody—not even myself. It's far bet-ter to flip the switch and completely eliminate victim thinking from my life.
Kevin Brown is right: Bad things happen to all of us. Sometimes those bad things are tragedies beyond our control and sometimes they’re the result of our own mistakes. Either way, the secret to life success is in how I respond, the choices I make, and how I talk to myself.
And I, like you, will engage in healthy, productive, and truth-based self-talk saying:
• Successandhappinessarebasedonchoicenotchance.• Mydecisionshavedirectedmetomydestination.• IampersonallyaccountableforeverychoiceImake.• Iamnotavictim!Thoughts like these enable each of us to be outstanding. It’s just as simple as
that!
Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129
24/7 Service
Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.
3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.
Call the plumbing & water experts today!
Need a special Book?Give us a call
613-342-5728
This areas #1 supplier of topographical maps & river [email protected]
Open 7 Days a
Week!
Courtney SadlerOwner
73 King St WBrockville, ON
www.leedscountybooks.caShop On-line
With Us!Order
Any Book!!
Pick up McGuffy’s News every week!!
At over 140 Locations in Brockville/AthensNorth Augusta/LynMallorytown & Rockport
HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5249
Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service
Early Spring Special!Save 25% OFF
We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!
Economic Development O�ce1 King St. W Brockville(613) 342-8772 ext [email protected]
Boosters & Ambassadors
THINK BROCKVILLE SAFE AND SECURE A Health Organization World designated safe communityA TRANSPORTATION HUB Highway 401 accessas well as air, rail and shipping port facilitiesUSA GATEWAY Two international bridges onlyminutes awayWIRED AND CONNECTED Extensive �bre andwireless connectivity with superior bandwidthSTRATEGICALLY LOCATED Centrally located inthe Montreal and Toronto economic corridorand one hour from the Nation’s Capital regionQUALITY OF PLACE Superior lifestyle optionsin the heart of the renowned 1000 IslandsTHE PEOPLE Labour availability, loyaltyand access to skillsHISTORICAL Ontario’s Oldest Communityand within United Nations Biosphere.
We invite you to Think Brockville - Think Growth & Promote your Hometown Charm Re�ect on the attributes of community below &
“sell up” the City of the 1000 Islands
Advertise YourNon-Pro�t Community Event
in McGu�y’s News!
+ HST00
Word Ads Starting at$15.(50 Words or Less)
Call Jon613-342-0428Today!
jon@mcgu�ysnews.com
VISIT
OU
R N
EW W
EBSITE W
WW
.MC
GU
FFYSNEW
SBROC
KV
ILLE.CA
!
CRO
SS
WO
RD
Rust Check Auto Care Plus
A proven Canadian Product Since 1973
11 Main St. East, Athens, ON613 - 924 - 8080
NewLocation
in Athens!
“often imitated, never duplicated”
Auto Detailing - 4 Packages to choose from!Full Tire Sales and ServiceRust Proo�ng/Protects new and old metals
Ask About Our Spring Specials!!!
Fencing
Across2. Drill6. Standing as placed8. Refined grace
9. Discernment12. Cut13. Remove extraneous item
16. Two person combat17. Division of combat18. Something pending19. Lunge or thrust
Down1. A hit acknowledge-ment2. Skillful3. Slice back
4. Sword edge5. Finish7. Instance of clemency9. An outer covering10. Short, sharp weapon
11. Hamper free move-ment12. Rate of motion14. A long stroke15. Thrust of dagger
A man calls a policeman over claiming to have witnessed a crime;Witness: This man has been murdered!Policeman: Badly?Witness: No, they did quite well, he is dead.
Witness A Crime
Very Punny• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and
I’llshowyouA-flatminer.• When a clock is hungry it goes back four
seconds.• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine
was fully recovered.• AgrenadefellontoakitchenfloorinFrance,
resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.• You are stuck with your debt if you can’t
budge it.• Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN
down under.
Cup Of Joe1. Which has more caffeine: dark or medium roasted coffee? 2. Coffee processors used to discard the caffeine they obtained through the decaffeinating process. They no longer discard this excess caffeine. In stead, what do they do with it?3. The average cup of coffee contains about 125 milligrams of caffeine. How much is in the average chocolate bar?4. How many cups of coffee would you have to drink in rapid succession before reaching a lethal dose of caffeine?5. How long does it take for caffeine to have an effect on your nervous system once it is ingested?
1. Medium (more caffeine is burned off the longer it is roasted).2. They sell it to pharmaceutical companies.3. 30 milligrams.4. 80 to 100 cups.5. About 15 minutes.
Answers:
Getting OnOLD ARTISTS ... never die, they just get the brush-off.
Good Question1. Day light savings time - why are they saving it
and where do they keep it?
2. Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
3. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
4. Do clowns wear really big socks?
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: By Norse code! Qui
ck
Rid
dle
Call (613) 342-0428 to have your business featured here!
Spotlight on Business
Your local Dog Groomer
My Dog Groomer Pawla is conveniently located in the city of Brock-ville, off ering quality dog grooming services for your forever friend.
Owner/operator Paula Fairfi eld has been in the grooming fi eld since 1988, apprenticed and graduated with a certifi ed groomer, as well as having taught the class “Introduction to Dog Grooming Techniques” at St. Lawrence College. Her business is appointment-based, off ering client fl exibility and timely results in a fun-loving environment.
Along with the milder spring temperatures also comes the muck and mud. Wouldn’t it be nice to have the family pet looking fresh and clean? And how about those nails too? My Dog Groomer Pawla off ers a variety of clips to suit your dogs’ needs, as well as a good thorough brush and bath and ear cleaning.
Tidy paws get a round of applause so give your dog an audience by giving My Dog Groomer Pawla a call at 613-345-6220, or visit www.mydoggroomerpawla.com for pricing estimates and other information.
Loving Atmosphere- Trims/Baths/Nails613-345-6220
“In �e Of Brockville”
What Do You Want
To Re�ect?
Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner
May 4 Real DealMay 11 BacklashMay 12 Blues Daddy 3-7pm
May 18 The Journey MenMay 25 Full CircleMay 26 Full Circle 3-7pm
April 20 Jack Daniels BandApril 21 Annual Ice Breaker 8 Ball Charity Tournament $20 entry fee sign up at bar ( all day)
April 27 - Little CaliforniaApril 28 - Gypsy Moon 8-12pm
(Sam’s Birthday)
VISIT
OU
R N
EW W
EBSITE W
WW
.MC
GU
FFYSNEW
SBROC
KV
ILLE.CA
!
Silly
Q
uote
Logically Speaking
Marveling At The Moon
I am lighter than what I am made of and more hidden than seen. What am I?
I am an iceberg. Answer:
The last man to step on the moon was Gene Cernan in 1972.
There are over 500,000 craters on the moon that can be seen from Earth.
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way. ~ Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
Try It!
Quotations
Sometimes we forget the little and simple things in life. You never know what can happen when you make small adjust-ments. Try it, a small adjustment could result in a huge success.• Strive for excellence, not perfection.
• Be on time.
• Don’t make excuses.
• Don’t argue.
• Get organized.
• Be kind to kind people - Be even kinder to unkind people.
• Let someone cut ahead of you in line.• Take time to be alone.
Quotations: Prosperity
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant. If we did not some-times taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. ~ Anne Bradstreet
Prosperity is only an instrument to be used, not a deity to be worshipped.~ Calvin Coolidge
Leonardo QuizLeonardo da Vinci was born on April 15, 1452, in Vinci, Tuscany. To cel-ebrate his birthday, try your hand at this Leonardo trivia quiz. 1. How many paintings of Leonardo da Vinci survive today?2. Leonardo was one of the first artists in Italy to use oil paints. What was in use before that?3. How many times was Leonardo married?4. What type of food did Leonardo not eat?5. What part of Leonardo’s body did anthropologists piece together?6. The man who commissioned the Mona Lisa never received his painting. Why not?7. Where is the Mona Lisa now?8. What is unique about the way Leonardo wrote notes in his notebook?9. What did Leonard do so that he could understand human anatomy better to create more life-like works?10. Leonard died in 1519 while being held in whose arms?
1. Only 15.
2. Egg tempura.
3. He w
as never mar-
ried. 4. M
eat. 5. H
is fingerprint.6. Leonard took it w
ith him
wherever he w
ent. 7. In the Louvre in Paris.8. Th
ey are written
backwards in m
irror w
riting.9. H
e dissected bodies. 10. Th
e King of France.
How do you spell relief ? R-o-l-a-i-d-s Answer:
Guess The SloganFamous advertising slogans. See if you remember.
Smile
Funny BunnyWhat did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit? ~ Cheer up!
How do you make a rabbit stew? ~ Make it wait for 3 hours!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boyscout? ~ A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. – William Arthur WardWrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. – Mark Twain
Every scowling face also contains the shapes of engag-ing smiles, just waiting to be released. – Dr. Sun Wolf
Qui
ck
Quo
te If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there. ~ Lewis Carroll
Silly
Q
uote
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yell-ing? Sometimes it seemed that way. ~ Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
Ans
wer
s:
State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company • State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, Aurora, Ontario1010094
5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!
903 County Rd 21 R.R. # 4 Spencerville,On613-341-1195 www.bonlenplace.com
BonLen Place o�ers an independent Yet active adult lifestyle combining the advantages of serene country setting with nearby shopping, medical care & entertainment.
Features & Benefits
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Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist
Great Spring Prices On New Fishing Boats & Pontoons
VOL.
5
Issu
e 16
✓ My Dog Groomer Pawla ✓ Aqua Pools Plus
✓ Rosemary’s Optical Shop ✓ Maple Heights Tree Service
✓ C21 Rick Burt www.c21burt.com
By Any Other Name?
I Am Doing GreatDear Lord:So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self indulgent I have not whined, cursed or eaten any chocolate.However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?” The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen
and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Empowering Thoughts
Qui
ck
Joke
Statistics
Why do rabbits do so well at school? ~They’re experts at multiplication.
The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal. ~ Frank Pittman
A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup. ~ Norm Crosby
Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you. ~ Mae West
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly under-stood that they are on the same side. ~ Zig Ziglar
Lebron James - Collecting Headbands
Jennifer Aniston - Hiking, camping, getting closer to nature, surfing the internet
Kobe Bryant - Soccer
Phil Mickelson - Pilot’s license, Winning Championships
Madonna - Yoga, Reading, Writing
Roger Federer - Cards, sitting on the beach, playing /watching cricket and ping pong
In a rscheearch stduy cnodcuetd at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mt-taer wihch oredr the ltteers in a wrod are wierttn. The olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be mexid up cmopletley and you can sitll raed it cocrrelty. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn barin deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but sees the wrod as a wlohe!
Had some trouble reading this? Well, in a research study conducted by Cambridge University, it doesn’t matter which order the letters of a word are written. The only important thing is that the first and the last letters are in the right place. The rest can be mixed up completely and you can still read it correctly. This is because the human brain does not read every letter by itself but sees the word as a whole!
CelebritiesEver wonder what the celebrities love doing in their spare time?
