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Building Big Dreams . . .

Together

The Seven C’s of Conscious Co-Creation

by

Layne & Paul Cutright

Version 1.0 November 2009

Building Big Dreams Together The Seven C’s of Conscious Co-Creation

Copyright © 2009 | Paul & Layne Cutright | www.PaulandLayne.com

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Table of Contents

1. The Three Co-Creative Conversations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 2. The Thirteen Domains of Human Concern . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

3. The Seven C’s of Conscious Co-Creation . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

4. The Seven C’s Checklist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 5. Co-Creator Agreements for Relational Maturity . . . . . . . . 14

6. Creating Your Ideal Scene . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

7. Co-Creating with Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

8. Clarify Your Conditions of Fulfillment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

9. Creating Your Network of Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

10. The Four Stages of Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

11. Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

12. Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26



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“People yearn for relationships they can trust. They want to be able to depend on people. They want relationships characterized by ease, clarity and harmonious cooperation.”

~ Layne & Paul Cutright

Nobody builds a big dream alone. We always need other people for the truly big stuff. Having harmonious relationships free from power struggle is an important edge in the creative process. The purpose of this paper is to offer some useful distinctions and proven practices for co-creating successfully with others in any kind of project involving two or more people. Sometimes, trying to coordinate, cooperate and generally get on the same page moving in the same direction with other human beings in order to get something done with a sense of joy, creativity and timeliness can be a very trying experience! The material presented here comes first of all from our own experience of having founded and participated in several conscious, intentional communities over the last 30+ years. We have an intimate experience of what works and what doesn’t. As avid learners and perpetual students of life, we are constantly on the look out for teachers and mentors ourselves. Consequently, some of what is presented here has been gleaned from our experiences at the feet of masters in their own domains. Our intention here is to help you more successfully navigate the often mysterious and sometimes treacherous waters of co-creating with others. We have written this paper as a help and guide for anyone who finds themselves in a position of wanting or needing to create anything with any other person or persons. That would include you if you are a person who is:

• starting a business • planning on getting married • already married and you’re planning on having children



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• married and planning on starting a business with your spouse • a manager of others whose cooperation you want or need • a team leader who is creating or managing a team • an executive charged with leading multiple teams • a community organizer or leader • on a board of some kind • head of a volunteer organization

You probably get the picture; basically anyone who needs the willing cooperation of others to accomplish a specific set of goals. Even if you are in a position of being able to require or command cooperation from others, the process of acquiring agreement and cooperation will be so much easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved if you are able to implement even some of what we lay out here for you. As the reality of our interconnectedness dawns on the horizon of our awareness, we can begin to act like a better world that works best for most people, will probably work best for us as individuals, also. It may not always look like it, but as a species we are gradually moving away from using our power in manipulative or adversarial ways to sharing our collective power for the mutual benefit of everyone concerned. The evolutionary edge for humanity is sharing power. We are shifting from a paradigm characterized by me or them to me and them. We are beginning to tap into the power of co-creation. It’s going to take more than good intentions for us to pull this one off. We are all going to have to learn to think differently, make new distinctions and include new practices in our business-as-usual routines. We all need each other. Not in an unhealthy, co-dependent way, of course, but in an evolutionary, co-creative way. Relationships represent the next and immediate frontier in our personal development as well as our collective, social development. Plainly put, for the sake of creating a compelling future for everyone, we must find common ground and learn to cooperate faster and more efficiently. We must get beyond the fear and divisiveness that dominates and drives so much human discourse at all levels. To do so requires new distinctions and new skills for better relating. If you are intending to create a future with one or more people it’s a good idea to keep the 7 C’s in mind and to check in with your co-creators on a



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regular basis. Check to see if and how you are taking these distinctions into consideration as the goals progress.

THE THREE CO-CREATIVE CONVERSATIONS

“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation.” ~ Chinese Proverb We are linguistic beings and as such our relationships live in language. How we speak, both to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds, and to others aloud, have a huge affect on the quality of our life and relationships. Those conversations determine the possibilities that are closed or open to us. There are three different conversations in a collaborative, co-creative venture. The three conversations are speculation, design and commitment. The tendency for these three conversations to merge into one seamless discussion usually leads to confusion and/or disappointment. The three conversations are: Speculative Conversation - Very briefly, speculation is the brainstorming conversation. The sky is the limit. Thinking outside the box is the norm. This is also the place to have conversations about the purpose and intention of the project. A stated purpose is the “true north” for the project. It is that which all future choices are measured against. When you enter into the design conversation your purpose will guide you through the flurry of various ideas. Will this choice enhance our purpose or detract from it? Will this approach or that approach move us in the direction of our purpose or away from it? Design Conversation - After everyone has put in their two cents, there can be a more powerful design conversation that includes various ways of implementing the ideas as they are explored and sorted through. Commitment Conversation - When the most desirable design emerges then the commitment conversation is appropriate. This allows everyone to be on the same page and know exactly what they are committed to. This is when it is powerful to discuss agreements and to clarify exactly what we can all count on from one another.



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A question to ponder:

How would you like to experiment with the material just covered?

THIRTEEN DOMAINS OF HUMAN CONCERN

“You have to be able to risk your identity for a bigger future than the present you are living.” ~ Fernando Flores, PhD Being evolutionary relationship educators we often support people with the challenges of overwhelm, information overload and figuring out what’s important to pay attention to and what can be delegated to others. One of the strategies we suggest is developing a network of support or participating in community with others interested in the same things. According to Fernando Flores, Ph.D., a philosopher and business consultant, there are thirteen permanent domains of human concern. He claims that these domains of concern are true for all people in all times throughout history and that they are unavoidable. These domains of concern are also where we want to achieve our most important goals. Usually our big dreams include one or more of these domains of human concern. Let’s take a look at what these domains are along with typical concerns and breakdowns. Later you can add your specific descriptions for your ideal scene in each domain.



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1. Body . . . . . . . . . . . . . . health, sickness, vitality, availability for meetings, functions, events

2. Play or Aesthetics . . . . entertainment, recreation, art, art appreciation

3. Sociability . . . . . . . . . . making, maintaining and breaking

friendships, trust building 4. Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . marriage, having children, educating

children, caring for family members 5. Work . . . . . . . . . . . . doing your job, completing actions you

have committed to 6. Education . . . . . . . . . . gaining competence, skill in some area 7. Career . . . . . . . . . . . . . choosing a direction in life, a career or

profession to prepare for and follow

8. Money . . . . . . . . . . . . . having enough to support yourself, salary, reputation with others

9. Membership . . . . . . . . . participation in clubs, professional, organizations, citizenship, etc.

10. World . . . . . . . . . . . . . politics, environment, other countries and

culture

11. Dignity . . . . . . . . . . . . self-respect, self-esteem or lack of, living up to your own standards

12. Situation . . . . . . . . . . . disposition, temperament, outlook,

emotions, how things are going 13. Spirituality . . . . . . . . . philosophy, religion, finding meaning in life We have a relationship with each one of the previously listed thirteen domains. An important question to consider is whether or not it is a healthy, nurturing relationship or is it a neglected, suffering relationship? Unfortunately, most people wait until the suffering is so acute, they can’t afford to neglect it any longer. They have entered a state of emergency.



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They then direct their attention to the emergency situation, but often only long enough for a temporary fix. The key to success in all domains is consistent attention to all of them ongoingly. We often have to make choices about how to distribute a finite amount of our personal energy units. So, it’s wise to look for the most advantageous leverage points. Let’s take health as an example. With the excessive demands of modern life it is easy to let our attention to our health lapse. Exercise, good nutrition and rest require ongoing attention for the maintenance of good health. When we are sick we’re probably not available to show up for events or meetings (Body, Play or Aesthetics), our family members may also be affected by having to help take care of us (Family) and we might need to take time away from our job (Work). Being sick may also have an undesirable impact on our income and/or savings (Money), and it certainly has an impact on our temperament and sense of how things are going (Situation). And what about relationships; how does our competence with relationships play into these permanent domains of human concern? Perhaps you will agree that trust is important for successful, fulfilling relationships of all kinds. Being the kind of person others can count on to keep our word and do what we say we’re going to do have broad implications across multiple domains (Sociability, Family, Work, Money, Membership, Dignity, Situation). We often say that relationships live in language and our relationships are only as good as our communication. How well and authentically we communicate impacts our relationships, personal and professional, in almost every single domain (Body, Sociability, Family, Work, Career, Money, Membership, Dignity, Situation). Often, as we mentioned earlier, by the time we have a breakdown in any one of these areas, the kind of help we need is emergency help. People who are healthy often don’t think about their body until something hurts or they become ill. When we have enough money it’s easy to think we will always have enough money, so we don’t like to think there will be a time when we won’t.



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When we have a network of support we are taking care of things in advance, so that the predictable breakdowns that inevitably occur are not catastrophic. It’s too late to put up the net when the trapeze artist starts to fall. As you look over the previous list, which ones stand out as having room for improvement? Are their areas of concern or challenge for you right now in any of them? Are there some that were a problem for you last year, but not this year? Are any of them chronic areas of concern for you? Are there any you have not even thought of or given any attention? What resources do you have to help you with the areas that are demanding your attention right now? Are you trying to deal with these all by yourself? Or are you getting the kind of support that will help you succeed rather than struggle? For the body, it could look like having a fitness trainer, or a nutritionist, or a coach for a sport you like, or a doctor – or all of these. In the domain of money it could be a financial planner, a bookkeeper, an accountant or a banker. For career you could have a mentor or coach to advise and counsel you on strategy and planning. What happens in other parts of the world increasingly has an effect on our own lives. Having sources of reliable, accurate information is important. You can use the Internet as a part of your network of support by bookmarking special interest websites and newsletters and researching experts who may live in another part of the country or on the other side of the world. Some resources will contribute to several domains simultaneously. For example, we are relationship educators teaching distinctions for using relationships as a path of personal and spiritual evolution. We support our clients and students by being part of their network of support in the domains of Sociability, Family, Work, Education, Career, Membership, Dignity, Situation and Spirituality.



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THE SEVEN Cs OF CO-CREATION

“The path of the co-creator is to be awakened spiritually within, which then turns into your own deeper life purpose, which then makes you want to reach out and touch others in a way that expresses self and really evolves our communities and our world.” ~ Barbara Marx Hubbard Whether we realize it or not, we all play a vital part in helping the world to be a better place. Bringing out the best in others is a learning curve for some of us. And being supported by others to bring out the best in ourselves can be challenging for many, as well. We believe that each person has a unique contribution to bring into this world and discovering our own part is an important aspect of that adventure. We usually find our part in the human jigsaw puzzle through asking powerful, sincere questions, reaching beyond what we already know by exploring new ideas and by allowing ourselves to be supported by competent coaches or mentors. We hope that using the 7 C’s will help you build your dreams more harmoniously with others so you can succeed with greater ease, joy and fulfillment. COMMITMENT . . . . . . . Clarify your common intention. COMMUNICATION . . . . Foster an environment that supports creativity and

respect.



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COOPERATION . . . . . . The necessary attitude. Share power for the

common interest. COLLABORATION . . . . Synergize ideas. Honor unique competencies. COORDINATION . . . . . Synchronize action. Make sure everyone is headed

in the same direction.

COMMUNITY . . . . . . . . Create and nurture a network of support. COACHING . . . . . . . . . Seek expert help where and when needed. Don’t

try to do it all on your own. Great achievers in any field have always had coaches and mentors.

THE 7 C’s OF CONSCIOUS CO-CREATION CHECKLIST

1. Check the items below that are working well. 2. Place an O on the ones that need attention. 3. Create an action plan for the items with an O. 4. Discuss with your fellow co-creators.

COMMITMENT – Setting your intention ___ We know what we are all committed to. ___ We can all state it succinctly. ___ Our commitment generates enthusiasm. ___ It lives in our everyday conversations with one another in some way. ___ We are honoring the commitment to our fullest ability. ___ We are dealing with any perceived obstacles. ___ We are all committed to doing what is in our power to do, to have the co-creative endeavor succeed for everyone concerned. COMMUNICATION – Creating the environment ___ Our communication style is fostering safety and creativity.



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___ We are communicating readily, honestly, and openly. ___ We are effectively initiating conversations that need to be discussed even when there is discomfort involved. ___ There are no unspoken emotional undercurrents distracting our attention. ___ There is a strategy in place so communication breakdowns can be avoided in the future. ___ Our communication includes acknowledgment and gratitude. ___ We all make requests to take care of our own needs and wants. ___ We are giving effective feedback so we can improve as we go. ___ We are communicating our unified purpose to others in inspiring and

enthusiastic ways. COOPERATION – The necessary attitude ___ We are cooperating rather than competing or struggling with one another. ___ Our cooperation is motivated by an inner passion and is not being forced by fear and the need to go with the flow of others’ intentions. ___ We are able to find a common path through adversity. ___ There aren’t any competing egos vying for the spotlight at the expense of others. ___ We are clear on the benefits for each of us as we cooperate in this creative endeavor. ___ We know what is at risk if we don’t cooperate. COLLLABORATION – Synergizing ideas ___ There is an attitude that everyone’s ideas are vital to the whole, even

though some may get more attention than others from time to time.



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___ We are able to express our ideas freely without fear of judgment or ridicule. ___ As a group we are asking BIG questions that bring forth the talent of everyone involved and excite our creative impulses. ___ We are able to engage in possibility thinking, not limited by the past or what has previously been accepted as adequate. ___ We are skillful in bringing out the best in each other. ___ The system in which we are working is set up to receive the avalanche of creativity we can generate. COORDINATION - Synchronizing action and planning ___ We have a plan. ___ We are coordinating our actions in effective and harmonious ways. ___ We all have an overview of how all the different parts are working together. ___ We have clearly established areas of accountability and trust. ___ We support each team member to perform with excellence. ___ We know the consequences if any of us fail to perform as agreed. ___ We use time effectively and meet our deadlines without crisis. ___ We can honestly call ourselves efficient. ___ We have established good lines of communication. ___ We know how often we need to reevaluate our plan. ___ We know how often and in what form (phone, meetings, e-mail) we need to communicate in order to coordinate effectively with everyone involved.



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COMMUNITY – We each have and are part of a network of support ___ We have asked for the support we want from others. ___ Our community knows what we are intending to create. ___ Our community is a safe place to be real and discuss any areas of concern we may have. ___ We are clear with others when we simply want them to listen to us or we want their advice. ___ Our community is a community of practice in which we all support

each other in discovering, sharing and using best practices for high functioning relationships.

___ We have people we respect and whom we can trust to think with and share ideas with. ___ We are connected with others who share our values and who may

occasionally challenge us to grow, as well. ___ We are connected with others with whom we can receive support and

guidance as well as contribute to. COACHING – Getting help to live our biggest dreams ___ We have good coaches at the ready if we want help. ___ We trust ourselves to know when using our coach is a good idea. ___ We build trust in ourselves as we also take advantage of coaching.

___ We don’t want to settle for less or risk preventable failure, and we’re

willing to give ourselves the gift of the support needed to be successful.

___ We realize sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know, and our future success may depend upon access to new skills and knowledge. We’re willing to learn and ready for action.



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___ We want to be true to ourselves. We know a good coach can help keep us honest with ourselves and help neutralize any tendency we may have to settle for less than we really want. ___ We want to be proactive and we want to take responsibility for

creating the life and relationships we desire. ___ We want new possibilities in our life. We recognize that a creative,

fulfilling life that generates a sense of contribution to the greater world is an ever growing dynamic process, deserving of support from others. A coach helps us to continually discover and implement new and more fulfilling possibilities for our lives.



CO-CREATOR AGREEMENTS FOR RELATIONAL MATURITY Building and Maintaining a Resonant Field

“If you want to be incrementally better: Be competitive. If you want to be exponentially better: Be cooperative.” ~ Unknown A resonant field is an invisible yet palpable energy that emerges out of the deeply aligned intentions, creative conversations and activities of a group of people. It emits a sympathetic and harmonious vibrational field. It’s that energy field that makes the difficult or challenging project easy, joy-filled, frictionless and at times, even transcendent. Perhaps you have experienced a resonant field yourself if you have ever entered into a “flow state” when working with others toward a common goal.



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Most people have this experience accidentally without any conscious intention. Following the recommendations and practices in this paper, along with your conscious intention to do so, will increase the likelihood of success. In order to avoid underestimating the powerful dissonant field generated by covert subconscious factors such as unspoken assumptions and hopes, blind spots and hidden agendas and outright power struggle, we have found it to be extremely effective to craft written agreements. It’s a new move for many and sometimes, because people are not used to it, they may feel some initial reluctance or resistance to actually writing agreements. How many times have you thought you had an understanding with others, only to find out later that you were on a completely different page? Having written agreements can be part of the learning curve in conscious co-creation and it’s well worth the effort to learn. Once you’ve discovered the merits for yourself, you’ll wonder how you ever got along without them. It’s like having a blueprint for your dream home. No one begins building a house by getting some wood, hammer and nails and a bunch of people and just start hammering away. Of course, that is absurd. You actually do need a plan and a blueprint if you expect to end up with a house someone could live in! It isn’t much different from that when a bunch of people get together to co-create a project without a plan. It takes more than good intentions if you want to have a successful outcome for your project. It takes skillful means. Sometimes we can be so excited about a project we rush forward without taking care of important details. As the world gets more connected we start to interact with people from different cultures, even different family cultures, where we can have unobserved mindsets that are quite different from one another. Perhaps you can remember as a child the first time you had a sleepover at a friend’s house. If so, do you recall being a little surprised that the way their family did things was different from your own? When we used to ask this question in seminars, many people nodded their heads and raised their hands in recognition. Families have their own rituals and practices that comprise their own small subculture. Here are agreements we like to use with our own fellow co-creators and we offer them for your consideration. We offer these as ideas for conversations,



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not as rules. These agreements are upheld by an attitude of willingness to cooperate and to have something everyone can refer to should misunderstandings or disagreements arise. We caution you against simply copying these and handing them out expecting people to just nod their heads without the opportunity to own them. Discuss the merits of each one and add others if it seems important. In essence, these agreements or mutual understandings address how we intend to honor our individual and collective relationships on the co-creative path. Implicit in these agreements is the intention to take care of our relationships because they are important to our success. Remember to keep them brief enough that people will be able to remember them!

• We agree to bring my passion and talent to our collective endeavor.

• We agree to speak the truth with compassion. • We agree to listen deeply and respectfully to others.

• We agree to be responsible for my my own needs, wants and sense

of being valued.

• We agree to acknowledge others generously.

• We will readily use our predetermined protocol for resolving upsets in a way that fosters personal responsibility and collective harmony.

• We agree to use mistakes constructively and practice forgiveness when called for.

• We will strive to maintain trust and affinity and restore them if

they are damaged.

• We agree to turn my complaints into requests and communicate constructively to the person who can do something about it.

• We will refrain from negative gossip.

• We agree to manage my agreements with others in responsible

and courteous ways.



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• We agree to encourage and be encouraged in bringing out the best in everyone involved.





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CREATING YOUR IDEAL SCENE DREAMING THE BIG DREAMS

"Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build." ~ Robert Collier Check any of the following different domains that would be affected by the quality of your relationships with others:

Body ___ Play or aesthetics ___ Sociability ___ Family ___

Work ___ Education ___ Career ___ Money ___

Membership ___ World ___ Dignity ___

Situation/Well Being ___ Spirituality ___

GETTING STARTED CO-CREATING WITH OTHERS Check three domains below that would yield the greatest results if they were to improve, even a little bit:

Body ___ Play or Aesthetics ___ Sociability ___ Family ___

Work ___ Education ___ Career ___ Money ___

Membership ___ World ___ Dignity ___

Situation/Well Being ___ Spirituality ___



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CLARIFY YOUR CONDITIONS OF FULFILLMENT IN THE THREE

DOMAINS YOU CHECKED IN THE PREVIOUS EXERCISE Consider the new things you would be able to see, hear and feel if these domains were enriched. Write them in the spaces below: DOMAIN OF

DOMAIN OF

DOMAIN OF



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CREATING YOUR NETWORK OF SUPPORT In the mind map on the following page write the names of the people and/or organizations that are knowledgeable or experts in each domain. If you notice that you have certain domains of concern that lack resources, think of where you might find them. Ask your existing network of friends and colleagues for support. In some areas you will use some members of your network more frequently than others, your personal coach or fitness trainer, for example. Others may be less frequent, but you will want to check in from time to time to see what’s new. Intentionally nurture your relationships with your network of support. Don’t just reach out when you are in trouble. What we have noticed by developing and nurturing a network of support is that we feel less anxious, less overwhelmed and a greater sense of freedom and security. We invite you to experiment with this idea and develop it over time. This is an ongoing life strategy that can contribute to your peace of mind and a feeling of being in charge of your own life.

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THE FOUR STAGES OF LEARNING “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.” Daniel J. Boorstin, PhD – Author, Historian, Attorney Do you remember when you first learned to drive? How you could hardly wait to get your driver’s license? Before that, driving a car did not interest you at all.

Sure, you rode in the car with your father or mother driving, but that happened without you being concerned in any way with what was involved in the activity of driving. You just got in the car with them and ended up wherever they were going without any awareness at all of the process of driving the car to get there.

Until you wanted to learn, driving a car did not exist for you as a distinct activity. And then one day it did and from then on you could hardly wait to learn! And either you took drivers education in high school or you learned from a private driving school or your father or some other relative taught you. There was no question that you needed a teacher because you could not teach yourself!

Once you started to learn you realized all the things you had to be aware of and pay attention to, all at the same time. If you’re old enough to have learned on a manual transmission, you remember how overwhelming it felt to manage the clutch and the gas and shifting all at the same time. And,



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doing it in such a way that the car didn’t lurch and stall. Which it did many times, no doubt! Eventually, you learned to coordinate letting out the clutch, stepping on the gas, looking in the rearview mirror, watching where you were going and applying the brake without putting everyone through the windshield all at the same time. And doing all of this without stalling the car or running into anything. You might have been nervous and sweaty, but you were beginning to drive!

When you finally got your driver’s license you could drive by yourself without any one teaching or coaching or correcting you. And today you can drive a car, carry on conversations with passengers and listen to music all without a second thought. You can drive for hours without having to pay any conscious attention to all the myriad things that were so overwhelming when you were learning. Now driving is totally automatic for you.

Your driver’s license qualifies you at a minimal level of competence to drive a car. Before you could get your driver’s license you had to pass a written test and a road test demonstrating your knowledge of the rules of the road and your skill at maneuvering your vehicle without causing any damage to life or property. Beyond that, how well you drive a car depends upon how good your teacher was and how good of a student you were.

What we have just described here represents the four stages of learning relative to driving a car. These four stages apply to learning just about anything; riding a bicycle (see the illustrations that follow), cooking, how to use a computer, investing and even in co-creative relationships.

Please remember that reading the material we have covered so far doesn’t automatically translate into mastery of co-creative relationships. There is a learning curve and we think a need for ongoing conversations that provide support and inspiration. The four stages of learning are:

1. Unconscious Incompetence . . . . . you are not aware of the existence or relevance of the skill – you don’t know what you don’t know



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2. Conscious Incompetence . . . . . .you become aware of the existence and relevance of the skill and you may choose to learn it – you know there is something you don’t know 3. Conscious Competence . . . . . . . you have learned and can perform the skill without assistance – you know that you know, but you have no mastery

4. Unconscious Competence . . . . . you become so practiced at a skill that it becomes mylenated in the synaptic pathways of the brain & the skill set becomes automated – it becomes second nature – the beginning of mastery Unlike learning to drive a car, relationship success seems like it should just come naturally. After all, you were born into relationship and were raised in relationships. You’ve been in relationships of one kind or another for your entire life. What could be more natural?

Unfortunately, what comes naturally to many people is not always the wisest choice. For most of us our relationships school was watching how the grownups did it. We modeled our parents for good or ill and our childhood modeling is a force to be reckoned with.

Co-creative relationships in a field of diversity are the green growing edge for most humans. It’s a lot easier to collaborate with people who think the same as you and share the same values. But it is a challenge of a very different order to co-create with people who are different from you in ways that you are unaware of or even ways that are quite obvious.

It can seem because you are interested in the same project that alone would be sufficient for creating a great team. It is similar to what we have noticed in romantic relationships. There is a myth that the power of our love should be enough to make it all turn out. It is shocking when you bump into the reality that it takes more than good intentions to navigate the surprising bouts of power struggles about whose way of doing things will prevail.

It is our desire that what you may have learned here can provide some of the nuts and bolts of consciously creating co-creative relationships. And that it can be a touchstone to revisit with new relationships and new exciting projects.



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Much of what is covered within this paper can be used ongoingly as a starting place for discussions relative to co-creation, especially during speculative conversations, where you are probably checking out the real potential of a collaborative possibility. Sometimes potential co-creative relationships never continue after the speculation conversation, and that is okay. A question to ponder:


CONCLUSION Perhaps you have already noticed the many ways in which relationships, relationships of all kinds - casual, personal, romantic and professional, including relationships with institutions and organizations - are central to just about every domain of life. It is important to realize that breakdowns, miscommunications, misunderstandings and upsets are predictable, unavoidable and recurrent even when people think they are too evolved for all that relationship messiness. Because of this, many of the problems and challenges we face in our lives arise in our relationships. Learning the distinctions and practices of successful relationships, and developing skillful means in creating our future with others, is one of the highest points of leverage for creating a beautiful life of creativity, contribution and fulfillment. Again we want to underscore that it can seem like we should already know how to be successful in our relationships by the time we are adults. For most of us, it is only by painful experience that we realize that is a flawed assumption.



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Often, when this realization dawns, we are motivated to improve ourselves and our relationships and to learn new things. A common mistake is to think that we can do that alone by going into the closet, getting ourselves all fixed up, and emerge ready for success in relationships. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. It’s like on-the-job training in which you spend some time learning principles, practices and skills and immediately put them to use. We learn about what works in relationships by being in relationship and practicing what we are learning, making mistakes, getting feedback, forgiving ourselves and continuing to learn and practice. This is why being part of a community of relationship practice is so important. It accelerates the process of learning and integration of that learning into the fabric of our relationships, within and outside of that community. Successful, fulfilling relationships don’t just happen; they are created with skillful means. It is possible for you to create powerful, synergistic, co-creative relationships that bring out the best in you and others, if you have the intention, knowledge and skills to do so. What could be a more noble or fulfilling pursuit? We hope that you have found the information in this paper helpful and that it has opened new possibilities for you in your thinking and in your personal and professional relationships. If you want to read the thoughts, impressions or questions of others who have read this paper as well as share your own, please click here to comment on our blog.



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RESOURCES

Relationship Education, Training and Support Relationship Savvy Membership Circles

Visit this web site to learn about our membership programs to support you in all your relationships. There is even a FREE program called the Circle of Inspiration to get started.

Click Here for Free Membership Program

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Resolution Well Being Strategies Manual

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