Building a Child’s Self-Concept

Building yours, too.

Resiliency = the capacity to bounce back after disappointment or tragedy.

Self-Concept = The total picture of who we are.◦ Our looks and traits, how we feel, what we

think, who we see when we look in the mirror…

◦ A child’s self-concept is in place by age 5.

STAND UP FROM THE INSIDE!

Write your name on the card

Why is this important for them to have? Do you still have the 100% you were born

with?◦ Why not? Imagine what you could do if you did!

Children are born with 100% Self-Concept

High Self – Concept vs. Low Self-Concept (eyes, posture, words, actions,

friends, successes…)

Celebrate the AWESOME name on that 3x5 card• Tie Dye Name Child Activity

Child Self-Concept vs. Your Self-Concept

WHAT INFLUENCES THIS?

1. SELF - PERCEPTION

2. Verbal and Non-verbal Communication ◦ Communication We hear, say, or See.

We believe it and may even become it. 10 positive words for every negative word or

action might alter the affects of the negative.

white

3. Positive and Negative

InteractionsWhy do we continue to hang around with or do that which brings us or other’s down?

Bulls-eye game

Self Concept Circle• The person I think I am.

• The person others think I am.• The person others think I think I am.

My Actions

Other’s Reactions To Me

As Others See Me

As I See Myself

SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

-A CHILD BECOMES WHAT THE PERSON SEES OR THINKS THE CHILD IS!

- CHILDREN REMEMBER 3% OF WHAT WE SAY TO THEM AND 97% OF WHAT WE DO WITH THEM.

-OUR PERCEPTION BECOMES OUR REALITY

- I WON’T SEE IT UNTIL I BELIEVE IT.

Mrs. Smith

Keys to Developing a Child’s Self-Concept

Snake around

Provide more successes than failures for the child.

Give the freedom to fail with acceptance.

Plan successes Point out successes Help the child perceive

him/herself as successful Provide practice to

improve skills If they have more failures

than successes, back up to where success is achieved, and then move ahead gradually

As long as there are more successes than failures, children learn to not let a few failures get them down.

A child who is over-protected and not allowed to fail will learn to try only if success is guaranteed.

Give lots of encouragement.

Give unconditional love.

Recognize the effort and improvement, not just the final accomplishment.

Support as they do new things.◦ “I know you can do it”◦ “You handled that really

well”◦ “You will make it next time”

Show appreciation.◦ “Thanks, you were a big

help”

Let child know that even if you do not approve of their behavior, you still love them.

Accept children as they are, not as they could be.

Respect your child. Show them how much

you care about them.

Allow independence. Eliminate the negative.

Let them do things for themselves.

Let them work through a problem.

Give them choices as early as possible.

Tell children what they can do, not what they cannot do.

Catch them doing something good more often than what they are doing wrong.

Do not set standards unreasonably high.

Avoid ridicule.

They don’t have to be 100% all the time.

Know their abilities and work within those abilities.

Children are not miniature adults.

Do not over-estimate their maturity.◦ Development if child

Be careful of nicknames.

Do not make fun of them, especially in front of others.

Allow exploration and encourage questions.

Set limits.

Let them explore their environment.

Give them a chance to see cause and effect, such as what happens when a rock is dropped in water. . .

Play, get messy, touch

Set limits (boundaries and rules)◦ It helps them to feel

security, protected, valued, and loved.

Help your child develop their talents.

Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously.

Every child needs to feel that they are good at something. ◦ Give them

encouragement and opportunities to try new things.

Encourage their talents, not the ones you wish they had.

Do not belittle them◦ “That is nothing to cry

over”, or “You’ll get over it”.

Ask them for their advice and opinions.◦ Listen to them and act

on their thoughts.

Be a good role model. Give your children responsibility.

Improve your own self-image. Let your children see that you value yourself.

Let your children see you make mistakes, learn from them, and try again.

Give them chores that are appropriate for their age.

Give them family jobs so that they feel valued and important to the family.

Be available. Let children know when their behavior is appropriate

Give them support when they need it.

Spend time together.◦ Work, talk, and share

activities together.

Point out when they are meeting your expectations and requests.

“I got two A’s”, the small boy said, his voice was filled with glee.

His father bluntly asked, “Why didn’t you get three?”

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done,” the girl called from the door.

Her mother very calmly said, “Did you sweep the floor?”

“I mowed the grass,” the tall boy said, “and put the mower away.”

His father asked him with a shrug, "Did you clean off the clay?”

The children in the house next door seemed happy and content.

The same things happened over there, but this is how it went.

“I’ve got two A’s,” the small boy said. His voice was filled with glee.

His father proudly said, "That's great, I’m glad that you belong to me.”

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done,” the girl called from the door.

Her mother smiled and softly said, “Each day I love you more.”

“I’ve mowed the grass,” the tall boy said, “and put the mower away.”

His father answered with much joy, “You’ve made my happy day.”

Children deserve a little praise for tasks they’re asked to do. If they’re to lead a happy life, so much depends on you.

Study guide scenarios

__________________________________________ Your Name   _________________________________________________ 2 adjectives describing you   ___________________________________________________ 3 Verbs that relate to you   ___________________________________________________ A 4 word phrase about you   _________________________________________________ 1 word that explains who you are  

A Haiku Poem about youon back of 3x5 Card