by Dorrie Simon, Studio 122 1 - Life Skills -...

©Learning ZoneXpress 1

by Dorrie Simon, Studio 122


First impressions

•  It’s more than just eating with the right fork: –  You never have a second chance to make a good first

impression! In fact, most first impressions are formed within 30 seconds of meeting someone.

• Why worry about manners at the table? –  What are a few reasons why you think table manners are so

important? –  Have you ever been totally embarrassed ��

by a blunder you made at the table ��in front of friends?

–  How do you think manners matter ��to a potential employer or a boss?

–  How can good manners help ��you get ahead in life?


First impressions

• Why manners are important: –  Mealtime is more peaceful.

–  Food is shared in an orderly manner.

–  No one makes a fool of him/herself.

–  You appear confident and in control.

–  People judge you by your manners at the table.

•  Whether a date, special friend, potential employer, or business associate, they will form an impression based upon how you handle yourself at the table.

•  Your actions/behavior do follow you.

–  Good manners are essential to getting ahead.

–  Manners are not a passing fad – they’re here to stay!


What’s wrong in these photos?

Break off small pieces of your roll,

butter the piece and eat.

These situations ��do not go unnoticed!

Check hats and coats at

the door.

Sit up straight with elbows by your sides.

Take small bites,��

and start from��one end of a sandwich.


Excuse yourself from the

table to brush your hair or apply

makeup.

What’s wrong in these photos?

Quietly remove unwanted objects from your food and put them ��on the side of your ��

plate or in your ��napkin.

Don’t slurp your

spaghetti.

Don’t bend down

to meet your��food.


A place for everything

•  Let’s start with the basics of what to wear and how the table is set to provide you with the knowledge, self-confidence and skills needed for a successful social life.

•  Dress for dinner: –  Wear clean, well-pressed clothes suitable to the occasion.

•  Jeans, t-shirts and sneakers may be appropriate for fast food, but not for a formal dinner, wedding reception or upscale restaurant.

–  Remove your coat and hat at the door. –  Some formal restaurants require men to wear a suit jacket and tie.

If not familiar with the restaurant, call ahead for dress code. •  Where’s my water glass?

–  At a crowded table, knowing the different plates, spoons, forks, glasses, etc. can simply help you know which is yours.

•  Your water glass is always on the right! –  A good basic rule to follow with your cutlery is to work from the

outside in through the courses. –  The number of courses may vary, but the order of progression is

roughly the same: soup, salad, entree and dessert. –  Food is always served from the right.


A. Napkin D. Bread & Butter Plate F. Fork B. Dinner Plate with butter knife G. Knife C. Salad Plate E. Water glass H. Teaspoon

Table Setting: Family Dinner • A correctly set table has the right appointments or dinnerware, beverage ware and flatware

where you need them, when you need them. You can often tell something about the meal by how the table is set.


A. Napkin E. Cup & Saucer I. Knife B. Luncheon Plate F. Water glass J. Teaspoon C. Cereal Bowl G. Juice glass D. Bread & Butter Plate H. Fork

Table Setting: Breakfast

•  This is the proper setting for a formal breakfast meal.


A. Napkin D. Bread & butter plate G. Luncheon Fork B. Luncheon plate with butter knife H. Knife C. Soup (or other first course E. Water glass I. Teaspoon plate) on liner plate F. Wine glass J. Soup spoon

Table Setting: Luncheon

• This is how the table is set for a formal lunch.


A. Napkin E. Water goblet J. Dessert fork B. Service plate F. Stemware for dinner wine K. Knife C. Soup bowl on liner plate G. Stemware for dessert wine L. Teaspoon D. Bread & butter plate H. Salad fork M. Soup Spoon with butter knife I. Dinner fork

Table Setting: Formal Dinner • Formal dinner settings can be a bit confusing. A

good rule is to start with the utensils on the outside and work your way inward.


What’s for dinner?

•  What can you tell about what is being served by how the table is set? Could you know the following:

–  What type of food will be served first? •  If there is a soup bowl, soup will be served first.

–  When would your salad be served? •  If there is a salad fork, the second course will be salad.

–  Will bread or rolls be served? •  A bread and butter plate with a butter knife means that bread

will be served. –  What kind of beverage will be served?

•  A water glass is set first, then additional glasses set for wine. In breakfast settings a cup and saucer will be set for coffee, and a small glass for juice.

–  Will a dessert be served? •  If a dessert fork is set, or a second spoon, dessert will be served

last. –  Will the meal include food that requires cutting?

•  Your knife would be used to cut your food and is always set.


Before the meal

•  When to Begin: –  Turn your cell phone off before dinner! –  Usually the host/hostess starts eating first. If there is no host/

hostess, start eating after everyone has been served. –  Unfold your napkin and place it on your lap.

•  Passing Food: –  Ask for food that is across the table to be passed. –  Pass food near you, in a clockwise direction.

•  Posture: –  Sit up straight with your elbows at your sides.

•  You may rest your forearms on the table. –  Sit a comfortable distance from the table.

•  Avoid leaning over the table or tilting back the chair. •  Conversation:

–  Finish a mouthful of food before speak. –  Take small bites of food and chew each completely before

speaking. –  Drink a little water before speaking to rinse the food down.


For starters

•  Many meals include starters, such as soup or salad served with bread and rolls. Follow these simple guidelines for each:

•  Soup: –  To cool soup, stir it or wait until it cools — don’t blow on it. –  Move the spoon away from you and then bring the spoon to

your lips — don’t bend to meet it. –  Quietly sip soup from the side ��

of the soup spoon. Try not to��slurp or push the entire ��spoon into your mouth.

–  Between bites or when��finished, leave your��soup spoon on the soup ��liner plate — not in the ��bowl or on the table.


For starters

•  Salad: –  If it is served before the meal, ��

use the salad fork to eat it. –  If the salad is served with the meal, ��

use your dinner fork to eat it. –  Cut lettuce or vegetables into bite-size ��

pieces if necessary, using your knife and fork. –  When finished, leave the knife and salad ��

fork on the salad plate. • Rolls & Bread:

–  Place a small pat of butter on your ��bread plate.

–  Break off a small piece of roll or bread. –  Butter it while holding it over your plate. –  Eat just that piece. –  Continue this process through the meal.


The main course

•  The American Style of using your knife and fork: –  Hold the fork in the left hand, with the forefinger pointing towards

the prongs (or tines). –  Hold the knife by the handle in the right hand, forefinger pointing

towards the blade. –  Cut one or two small pieces (don’t cut it all at a time). –  Lay your knife diagonally across the top of your plate with the ��

blade edge toward you. –  Shift the fork to your right hand and hold the ��

handle lightly between the index finger ��and thumb with the fork prongs up.

–  Bring piece to your mouth ��(don’t bend to meet it).

•  European or Continental Style: –  Keep the knife in the right hand, ��

and eat with your fork in the left. –  The fork prongs are kept curved ��

down and not switched back ��and forth after cutting food.


The main course

• Main course manners to remember: –  Start eating your main course after ��

everyone at your table has been served.

–  Eat one food at a time — don’t mix ��food together on your plate.

–  Use both your fork and knife to cut ��meat or large vegetables — don’t stab ��your meat and bite off a piece.

–  Always chew with your mouth closed.

–  When you are finished eating, lay ��your knife and fork diagonally�� across the top of your plate.


No mess, no slurp pasta

•  Follow these steps for the proper way to eat spaghetti and other pasta:

–  Hold a few noodles against the edge of the plate (or a tablespoon) with the your fork.

–  Twist the fork to wrap the noodles around the tines.

–  When you have a mouthful wrapped��on the fork, raise it to your ��mouth to eat it — don’t ��bend to meet it.

–  For long noodles, cut the��ones that won’t fit on your��fork by gently pressing ��the fork against the side ��of your plate.


Are finger foods really for fingers?

•  Many foods are considered finger foods and you are to eat them with your fingers. The following are a few finger foods:

–  pizza – crispy bacon –  French fries – lobster, crab legs –  corn on the cob – deep fried shrimp –  grapes, strawberries – fried chicken –  sandwiches – spare ribs

•  Be careful not to make too much noise ��or draw attention to yourself by ��smacking, dipping or licking.

–  Don’t lick your fingers, use your napkin. •  At a formal gathering, eat finger ��

foods with a fork. –  Cut them into smaller pieces and eat with��

a fork the same you would any main course. –  If in doubt as to how to eat any food, ��

follow the lead of your host/hostess.


Grooming at the table

•  Some behavior at the table can make the meal unpleasant for others. It is often in grooming and sanitation that people tend to judge your manners.

•  Tips on handling the following situations at the table: –  If it went into your mouth on a fork it can exit on a fork!

•  To remove unwanted food like an olive pit or a piece of gristle: –  Remove it with your fork and place it on the side of your

plate. –  Cover your mouth with a napkin and remove it in the

napkin. •  If you simply don’t like it, keep quiet and eat a little to be

polite. –  Bad hair day?

•  If you must comb your hair or touch up your makeup, excuse yourself from the table and groom yourself in the restroom.

–  If something sticks — don’t pick! •  Wait until you are finished eating to use a toothpick or floss

away from the table (preferably in the restroom) to remove food lodged between your teeth.


Food sanitation

•  Sometimes it not just bad manners, but unsanitary: –  Pass it on - Germs that is.

•  Turn your head away from the table and cover your mouth and nose with your napkin to sneeze or cough.

•  Take what you want using the serving utensil, place the food on your plate and the serving utensil back in the serving dish. Eating food directly from the serving dish or serving utensil passes your germs on to the next person.

–  Share, and share alike. •  If someone wants to share food, ask for a separate plate and

utensil. •  Or, ask them to pass the food on their plate over to you and

take a serving on your plate with a clean utensil. –  Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!

•  If you find a hair or other foreign object in your food: –  Remove it quietly with your fork or fingers, put it in your

napkin, and keep quiet about it! –  If it is an unsanitary situation and you need a new serving,

quietly let the host/hostess or server know.


At the end of the meal

•  Pass the dessert: –  When dessert is served, take only one serving. –  After everyone has been served, you may ask for ��

seconds if available.

•  Excuse me: –  Lay your used utensils flat across the top of your plate. –  Lay your napkin on the table beside your plate. –  Wait until everyone is finished eating to ��

quietly excuse yourself if necessary.

•  Thank You! –  Thank the host/hostess for the meal.


Check out the check etiquette

• Who pays the bill? –  To avoid misconceptions, all parties should agree ahead of

time and before ordering tell the server who will pay the bill. –  Etiquette states that the person who invited pays the bill. –  When eating out in a group and each is paying his or her

share of the bill, follow this etiquette procedure: •  Each person can order an individual meal and get a

separate check. Ask the server before ordering the meal. •  Divide the total bill (plus the tip) ��

by the number of people. Appoint ��someone to collect the money ��and pay the server.

•  Appoint someone to pass the ��bill around, collect from each��person and pay the bill. The ��appointed person should make ��sure the proper tip is included.


Tips on tipping

• Handling gratuities at a restaurant: –  Servers at restaurants often earn a low hourly wage and

depend on the money they make from gratuities (tips).

–  The gratuity (or tip) should be ��15% to 20% of the total bill.

–  If the service was poor, you ��may give less, if exceptional,��then give more.

–  Some restaurants include ��a specified percentage for ��gratuity on the bill, especially��for groups of six or more. ��Check the bill before leaving ��your tip.


Cheers to you

•  Lifting a glass and offering a toast is a lost art. A few well-placed words will celebrate friend and family and honor the host/hostess.

• When and how to propose a toast: –  Think carefully about what you want to say long before you

make the toast. –  When the time comes to make a toast, make sure that

everyone has a drink to toast with. –  Get everyone’s attention (gently clinking the side of your

glass with a fork is the traditional way). –  Hold you right arm and glass ��

straight out in front of you. –  Look the recipient(s) of the ��

your toast in the eye. –  Touch your glass to the ��

person(s) you are toasting ��after you finish your speech.


Let’s Review. What would you do?

•  What should you do in each situation? –  Your soup is too hot to eat.

–  You have to sneeze! Achoooo...

–  You bite into an olive pit.

–  Food is stuck between your teeth.

–  You want a roll from across the table.

–  You are served deep-fried shrimp at a formal dinner.

–  You find a hair in your sandwich.

–  Someone wants to share dessert with you.

–  You are dining with a group and want to split the bill.


Practice good table manners

•  Select one of the following assignments to complete: –  Draw a formal place setting for one person. Include the

following: dinner plate, napkin, dinner fork, salad fork, soup spoon, dessert/beverage spoon, dinner knife, bread & butter plate and knife, and beverage glass.

–  Create a puppet show to teach young children good table manners. Be prepared to present it to the class.

–  Write a guide on table manners in your own words, with at least the “Top 10” tips to good manners at the table.

–  Name five famous movies that included a dining experience and write about how the actor managed the meal.

–  Internet project: Research dining etiquette for the Middle East, Germany, Africa, South America, Japan, etc. Write a report on dining etiquette around the world.


Quiz - True or False?

1. Since soup can be difficult to eat, it’s okay to raise the bowl close to your mouth and eat with a soup spoon.

2. Dinner rolls are eaten by breaking off a small piece and buttering it just before eating it.

3. It’s okay to stab meat with a fork and bite off a piece.

4. When finished with the meal, lay your knife and fork diagonally across the top of your plate.

5. Finger foods are meant to be eaten with your fingers unless you are in a formal restaurant.

6. If you find a hair in your food, tell your server immediately.

7. At a restaurant, it is important to inform the server if your group will be splitting the bill before you order.


Etiquette online

•  www.emilypost.com

•  www.cuisinenet.com/glossary/tableman.html

•  www.business-journal.com/survival/articles/hresource/RestaurantManners9-22.html

•  www.career.vt.edu/DiningEtiquette/DiningEtiquette.htm

•  www.bsu.edu/students/careers/students/interviewing/dining/

•  www.oneida.com (go to Table Talk)

•  www.rudebusters.com/etiq-new.htm

Please note that web sites are constantly changing and being updated. You may need to revise this list.

Date post:	26-Aug-2020
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by Dorrie Simon, Studio 122 1 - Life Skills -...

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