By: Jeni Scott EDLS 685 – Peer Mentoring and Support

CONFLICT AND COACHING: LISTENING,

INTERDEPENDENCE, AND TRUST –

HALLMARK TRAITS OF A SUCCESSFUL

RELATIONSHIP

Conflict: Give an example

On the sticky notes in front of you, write three separate examples of conflict that you have experienced in a school you have worked in. This can be conflict you are experiencing now or conflict you have experienced in the past. Once done, please place the sticky notes on the white board located in the front of the room that says “Conflict.”

“IC’s need to shape team norms, facilitate school wide

implementation of interventions, promote more constructive styles of

professional discourse, motivate unmotivated teachers, raise thorny issues, negotiate resolutions to the conflicts that those thorny issues stir up, and stand in opposition to any action or attitude that is not good for children.” (Knight, 2007)

Tactics to use when confronting resistance and

conflict

LEADERS OF CHANGE

1. STAY DETACHED

Attempt

Attack

Abandon

When attacked, what can I do?• Use partnership communication

All points of view should be listened to – we are all equal

Be aware of personal stories• Change your thinking to create

distance Learn another’s point-of-view to

better understand their perspective• Keep it from being personal

Take the balcony approach Turn the focus to strategies or

teaching practices best for student achievement

• Take the long view Remember what the research says

Detach

Using one of the examples your group discussed, role play a

scenario using detachment as a tactic to defuse the conflict.

2. WALK ON SOLID GROUNDWho are you?

What are your beliefs about

Equality?Choice?Voice?Dialogue?Reflection?Praxis?Reciprocity?

PurposeRemind yourself often that your primary purpose is to make life better for the children in your building!

EVERY DAY!EVERY HOUR!EVERY MINUTE!

S.M.A.R.T GoalsWhat are your goals when meeting with teachers?

What are my priorities? To use my time efficiently, I need a map to know what my final destination is.

Short-term Long term

3. CLARIFYING YOUR MESSAGE

Create a Teachable-Point-of-View, “a cohesive set of ideas and concepts that a person is able to

articulate clearly to others.”

(Tichy, 2002, pg. 74; as stated in Knight, 2007, pg. 205)

• Dynamic and engaging stories that illustrate where we are, where we are going, and how we will get there

Central ideas

• Clearly articulated and shape the overall support for the ideaValues

• Beliefs that motivate others

• Actions that motivate others

Energizing

• Face reality• Make tough decisionsEdge

4. MANAGING CHANGE

EFFECTIVELY

Do teachers know what is expected of them?

What demands will be made on the teachers time?

What class time will the practice take?

How will students respond? How does the intervention fit in with

the district or state curriculum? What else might need to change to

effectively use this practice?

By explaining each of these items to the teacher beforehand, the IC can be a change agent!

Does the teacher have the materials and equipment they need to do their work right?

Put together a box for each teacher that contains all the needed materials to implement a strategy.

OverheadsHandoutsReading materialsFoldablesAdditional readingsResearch to accompany the strategyInstructions how to use the strategy

At work, does the teacher have the opportunity to do what they do best every day?

Build on strengths when collaborating

with a teacher!

How will the strategy work with what the teacher’s unique strengths are?

In the past seven days, has the teacher received recognition or praise for doing good work?

Whenever you have the opportunity to recognize, praise, or support a teacher, an emotional connection is made.

Take the time to build these connections!

Is there someone at work who cares about me?

Listening builds relationships

and trust!

Is there someone at work who encourages my development?

“An IC’s primary work is to continually encourage each teacher to develop, to be a better professional, to reach and encourage and support more children.” (Knight, 2007)

What can you do?

On your loose-leaf paper, write about a time when a meeting with a collaborating teacher didn’t quite go the way you had planned. What could you have done differently to manage the change more effectively.

“to confront reality is to recognize the world as it is, not as you wish it to be, and have the courage to do what must be done, not what you’d like to do” (Bossidy and Charan, 2004, pg. 6-7; as stated in Knight, 2007, pg. 208)

5. CONFRONTING REALITY

Ask the tough questions• What is it like to be a student in this

classroom?• How do the students feel in this classroom?• Is this teacher using “hi-fi” teaching practices?• Does the teacher appreciate, enjoy, and

respect students?• Are students engaged in this class?• Are students experiencing meaningful learning

experiences or are they simply completing tasks that fill the time?• Does this class increase or decrease students’

love of learning?• Will students remember this class?

The teaching and learning in classrooms

Even tougher questions• Are our teachers focused on

becoming better teachers or are they focused on making excuses?• Is our school improving or declining?• Do our teachers focus on students

and teaching during team meetings, or do they focus on blaming, excuse-making, or finger-pointing?• Are our leaders supportive and

positive?• Do our leaders encourage our

teachers to meet high standards?• Do our leaders walk the talk?

About the school and the culture

Look forward, take risks, and grow

(Rosenholtz, 1991; as c ited in Knight, 2007)

6. UNDERSTANDING SCHOOL CULTURE

Cultural NormsStay away from unhealthy topics and use responsive turns.

Interrupt – cut off the negativeName – describe what is going onCorrect – clarify false statementsDivert – move the conversation in a

different direction

Be sensitive to the norms and shape conversations

7. BEING AMBITIOUS AND

HUMBLE

Do whatever it takes!

Effective leaders are “ambitious first and foremost for the cause, the movement, the mission, the work – not

themselves – and they have the will to do whatever it takes…to make good on that ambition” (Collins, 2005, pg.

11; as cited in Knight, 2007)

Maintain your “innocence, curiosity, and compassion”

(Knight, 2007, pg. 213)

8. TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

Distinguish the role from yourself

Find confidants

Find sanctuary

Analyzing conflict

situations

What will the next steps be

and what strategy can I use to resolve

the conflict positively?

A tool to use from social psychologists

What are energy traps?Energy Trap Definition of Trap What

happened?How can you turn the trap into a positive?

Operating Metaphors

“Containers for thinking that hold unconscious assumptions, beliefs, goals, and values” – by changing the language a new perspective can be given to the situation.

   

Time Orientations Focusing on the past, present, or future or randomly jumping across all three dimensions in time

   

Time Horizons A unit of time within which a conflict must be solved  

   

Nominalizations Talking about a process as a thing or an event    

The Illusion of Separateness

That people are not connected to the situations that surround them.

   

Focus on Production When achievement casts a shadow over taking care of the individual 

   

Fixing What Shows, Not What is Broken

Quick fixes that do not identify and fix the root cause.   Rather they focus on what shows to the public.

   

The Myth that Problems Require Solutions

Situations that exist in which no clear solution is possible 

   

Personalization of Conflict

Assuming that conflict is about ourselves    

Being Emotions Instead of Having Emotions

Taking on the emotions that you have and forcing them onto someone or something else

   

Putting it all togetherIn your small groups, go up to the whiteboard and find three different conflicts.

Using the strategies you learned today, along with the tools provided, how could have each of these conflicts been handled differently to alleviate the conflict? Work with your partners to develop scenarios that would develop trust, interdependence, and listening skills.

We will share out in 30 minutes.

ReferencesGarmston, R. J. and Wellman, B.M. (2009). The adaptive school: a sourcebook for developing collaborative groups (2nd ed.). Norwood: Christopher-Gordon Publishers.

Knight, J. (2007). Instructional coaching: a partnership approach to improving instruction. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press.