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1. We are supposed to wear no HAT right now of our roles played in our company & yet stay
connected.
2. During the workshop, we request no cross talking & interactions with except the trainer.
3. Whenever we are discussing any particular Concept or Behaviour; all of us are requested to
stay on the same subject & not move their concentration on another concept or behaviour.
4. Kindly keep your mobile phones switched off or on SILENT mode during the workshop.
5. There are no “WRONG QUESTIONS” in the world. You can ask as many questions as you
want from the TRAINER but during the breaks so that we maximize the learning time.
6. This workshop is not to point fingers or question any one of us & yet it aims to questions the
way we do things in simplest example terms. Its aimed at INTROSPECTION & SELF –
INVESTIGATION.
7. The workshop is inter-active (NOT BRAINSTORMING) & you can stop the TRAINER anytime
to request any point which you want to be explained further. However, to discuss details we
request you to discuss the same anytime during BREAKS or during DINNER time.
6. All suggestions on Contents, Overview, Usage are welcome to the TRAINER on email.
PARADIGMS• DEEP ROOTED – CONDITIONING
• A FIXED (RIGID) PATTERN of THINKING, FEELING & DOING
PARADIGM SHIFT• In 1962, Thomas Kuhn fathered, defined and popularized the
concept of "paradigm shift".
• Think of a Paradigm Shift as a change from one way of thinking to another.
• It's a revolution, a complete transformation.
• It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change.
STATUS QUOSTATUS QUO
De-Mystifying ParadigmsDe-Mystifying ParadigmsAll Paradigms comprises of the following 4 Strong Ps:-
1. PEOPLE – PARENTS, PEERS, TEAM, TEACHERS, GUIDE etc.2. PROFESSION – WORK CULTURE, ORGANIZATION (N YEARS)3. PHILOSPHY – VALUE SYSTEM, BELIEFS & FAITH etc. 4. PERCEPTION – CULTURE, UP-BRINGING, SITUATION etc.
1. There are no perfect PARDIGMS. PARADIGMS can’t be perfect. If they are GROWTH will stop. It has to always be about progress & continuous change.
2. Any individual after “N” years of conditioning becomes arrogant about his/ her RIGHTS & WRONGS. This can be the beginning of “GROSSLY GROSSLY MISSING” on what they obviously need to CORRECT.
3. Every Individual be it a SENIOR LEADER or a MANAGER or a SUPERVISOR must allow questioning their PARADIGMS after “N” years.
4. The N has to be decided based upon their PERFORMANCE/ RESULTS Versus AMBITIONS/ INSIRATION.
5. The Higher the Individual would be in his/ her career, the tougher the challenge of PARADIGMS.
How is a paradigmformed?
A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas
on the top.on the top.
Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with
cold water. cold water.
After a while, every time a monkey went up the After a while, every time a monkey went up the ladder, the others beat up the one on the ladder, the others beat up the one on the
ladder.ladder.
After some time, no monkey dare to go up After some time, no monkey dare to go up the ladder regardless of the temptation.the ladder regardless of the temptation.
Scientists then decided to substitute one of the Scientists then decided to substitute one of the monkeys. The 1monkeys. The 1stst thing this new monkey did was to thing this new monkey did was to go up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys go up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys beat him up.beat him up.
After several beatings, the new member learned not to climb the ladder even though never knew why.
A 2nd monkey was substituted and the same occurred. The 1st monkey participated on the beating for the 2nd
monkey. A 3rd monkey was changed and the same was repeated (beating). The 4th was substituted and the beating was repeated and finally the 5th monkey was
replaced.
What was left was a group of 5 monkeys that even though never received a cold shower,
continued to beat up any monkey who attempted to climb the ladder.
If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they would beat up all those who attempted to go up the ladder…..
I bet you the answer would be….
“I don’t know – that’s how things are done around here”
Does it sounds familiar?
"Only two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity. And I am not so sure about the former."
Albert Einstein
Individual paradigm
formation?
ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – IDEAL SITUATIONIDEAL SITUATION
ASPIRATIONASPIRATION–– THE BIG PICTURETHE BIG PICTURE
ATTIUDE ATTIUDE BALL BALL ––
The The Enabler or Enabler or The EnemyThe Enemy
1.1. ATTITUDE & ASPIRATION ATTITUDE & ASPIRATION –– EXTREME SYNERGY. EXTREME SYNERGY.2.2. Enables actions to accomplish VISION.Enables actions to accomplish VISION.3.3. PERFORMANCE is ABOVE AVERAGE to EXCEPTIONAL. PERFORMANCE is ABOVE AVERAGE to EXCEPTIONAL. 4.4. The Person is ALIGNED with ASPIRATION. The Person is ALIGNED with ASPIRATION. 5.5. ATTITUDE ensures a perfect alignment in PERFORMANCE & ASPIRATIONS.ATTITUDE ensures a perfect alignment in PERFORMANCE & ASPIRATIONS.6.6. An individual bound to succeed with his/ her ASPIRATION.An individual bound to succeed with his/ her ASPIRATION.
ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – CHALLENGE SITUATIONCHALLENGE SITUATIONASPIRATION ASPIRATION ––
THE BIG THE BIG PICTUREPICTURE
ATTITUDE ATTITUDE –– The The
Enabler or Enabler or The EnemyThe Enemy
ASPIRATION ASPIRATION –– THE TWISTED THE TWISTED
& & COMPRESSED COMPRESSED
PICTUREPICTURE
1.1. ASPIRATION & ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE ATTITUDE –– LITTLE LITTLE or NO SYNERGY.or NO SYNERGY.
2.2. ATTITUDE disables ATTITUDE disables actions to actions to accomplish accomplish ASPIRATION.ASPIRATION.
3.3. PERFORMANCE is PERFORMANCE is BELOW AVERAGE BELOW AVERAGE to ABOVE to ABOVE AVERAGE. AVERAGE.
4.4. ATTITUDE disrupts ATTITUDE disrupts alignment in alignment in PERFORMANCE & PERFORMANCE & RESULTS.RESULTS.
5.5. An individual bound An individual bound to fail with his her to fail with his her ASPIRATION.ASPIRATION.
CHALLENGE - PARADIGMS
Hearing
Seeing
Smell
Touch
Taste
Non-verbalWe learn :-
* By touch -1.5% * By taste - 1.0% * By Smell - 3.5% * By hearing - 7.0% * By Sight - 87%
What Do you See?
Seeing is not believing every-time?
TOTAL COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Reading16%
Writing9% Speaking
30%
Listening45%
How the LISTENER infers you on what is being said?
• 7% WORDS–Words are only labels and the listeners put their
own interpretation on speakers words
• 38% PARALINGUISTIC–The way in which something is said - the accent,
tone, dressing sense, perceptions, tone and voice modulation is important to the listener.
• 55% BODY LANGUAGE–Speaker’s usage of the body parts while
delivering a message affects the listener’s understanding the most & at the highest level.
The Art of Listening
Fast Facts
• We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm
• 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful
• 20% of the time, we remember what we hear• More than 35% of businesses think listening
is a top skill for success• Less than 2% of people have had formal
education with listening
Spread of your Average Mode of Communication in a Day
Mode of Communication
Percentage of Time Used
Formal Years
of Training
Writing 9% 12 years
Reading 16 % 6-8 years
Speaking 30% 1-2 years
Listening 45% 0-few hours
5 Basic reasons we Do Not Listen
• Listening is Hard Work
• Competition
• The Rush for Action
• Speed differences
• Lack of Training
Hearing = physiological Listening = psychological
4 Types of Listeners
• The Non-Listener
• The Marginal Listener
• The Evaluative Listener
• The Active Listener
Active Listening (4 Steps)
1. Listen
2. Question
3. Reflect-Paraphrase
4. Agree/ Dis-Agree (Negotiate – Win-Win) – LATERAL LATERAL THINKING is THINKING is POSSIBLEPOSSIBLE
Step 1: Listen
• To Feelings As Well As Words– Words – Emotions -- Implications
• Focus on Speaker– Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
• What Is Speaker Talking About?– Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?
• Look At Speaker• Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers
Step 2: Question
• 3 Purposes– Demonstrates you are listening– Gather information– Clarification
• Open-ended– Tell me more?– How did you feel?– Then what happened?
Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
• Reflect What Is Said (In your words)
• Reflect Feelings
• Reframe– Capture the essence of the communication– Remove negative framing– Move toward problem solving
Step 4: Agree
• Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing
• Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
• Solution Is Near!
The Power of Listening
ACTIVE LISTENING & LATERAL THINKING ABILITY ACTIVE LISTENING & LATERAL THINKING ABILITY
TIME FOR A TEST!!!!TIME FOR A TEST!!!!
Activity
• Speaker – talk for 2 min.
• Listener – listen using the skills we’ve discussed
• Observer – observe the application of the skills and take notes
Obstacles to Listening• Selective Listening –
– Pay attention to interests – Sort info on basis of what already know -
schemata• External Obstacles
– Overload, complexity, noise
• Internal Obstacles – Preoccupation, prejudgment, lack of effort, not
recognizing diverse listening styles • Non- listening
TYPES OF BODY LANGUAGERemember that you are dealing with “PEOPLE”
• (P)OSTURES & GESTURES– How do you use hand gestures? Stance?
• (E)YE CONTACT– How’s your “Lighthouse”?
• (O)RIENTATION– How do you position yourself?
• (P)RESENTATION– How do you deliver your message?
• (L)OOKS– Are your looks, appearance, dress important?
• (E)XPRESSIONS OF EMOTION– Are you using eye movements/ facial expressions/ hand
movements to express emotion?
PowerPower
“Everyone is a mirror image of yourself—your own thinking coming back to you” - Byron Katie
Home
Understanding capacities and competencies
Competency
PotentialCapacity
Capacity = Demonstrated competencies + Unrealized potential
The four fundamental capacities are learning, thinking, relating and acting
Capacity of Thinking (IQ) Capacity to think comprises of analysis, creativity & innovation and a combination of both i.e. judgment
Analysis is about asking the right
questions and breaking complex things into
simpler things
Judgment requires a combination of both, this is what helps us take quality
decisions
Creativity and Innovation is about
generating new thoughts and breaking the existing
patterns of thought
Capacity Of Relating (EQ)The capacity to relate requires the ability to
empathize, the ability to listen with warmth and respect, and a combination of both i.e, the capacity to build trust
Ability to Listen with warmth and respect.
Active listening is free of biases,evaluation and pre-conceived notions Trust requires a combination of both
empathizing and listening. It’s about authenticity, openness and genuineness
Empathizing is the ability to put
oneself in someone else’s shoes(by
getting out of our own shoes)
Capacity of Actions (Doing)The capacity to act is about organizing one’s time and resources so that we convert our intentions into reality (planning)
Organizing one’s time and resources so that we convert our intentions into reality
Working under pressure and time constraints and the ability to handle multiple tasks without negative stress
delegation,attention to detail and focus on the right process build capacity to implement
Capacity of Learning or Being (SQ)
This capacity consists of three dimensions, namely introspection, reflection & contemplation and flow.
Willingness to look back and learn; ability to learn
from mistakes and identify areas of
improvement
Observing one’s own thoughts, actions and emotions/feelings and using the awareness to
improve further and perform better
Ability to get into a new experience with an open mind and flow with the
experience. The child like ability to derive joy out of learning
Change is permanent
PARADIGMS are CHALLENGED when:-
1. There is a a life changing event
2. The CONDITIONING is QUESTIONED
3. There is a STRUGGLE
• CATERPILLAR – BUTTERFLY
• BEETHOVEN – MUSIC
4. Create a Mis-Match by Design - Aspirations
are ahead of Resources
5. There is INTERNAL MOTIVATION
“Remember, training is not what is ultimately important…
Change is.”Change is.”
ARE YOU CHANGE READY!!!ARE YOU CHANGE READY!!!
TIME FOR ANOTHER TEST!!!!TIME FOR ANOTHER TEST!!!!
1
4
3
2
Incompetence
Incompetence
Competence
Competence
Unconscious
Unconscious
Conscious
Conscious
HABIT & CULTURE
Conscious
Awareness
Patience +
Continued Practice
LEVELS OF LEARNING (Individual & Organizational)
SHIFTSHIFT
What do you see ?
CREATING MAGIC THROUGH SYNERGY
Paradigm Shift – The Process
CHANGECHANGEWhat is next for me?What is next for me?
Coaching & FeedbackHow am I doing?
Awareness & PlanningWhat is expected of me post CHANGE?
Assessment
How did I do?
Development PlanningWhat should I develop?
Recognition & Appreciation orCriticism – Learn & Un-LearnHave I understood CHANGE?
Home
Denial/ Denial/ ResistanceResistance
Politics/ Attempt to Politics/ Attempt to De-Rail ChangeDe-Rail Change
Gossip/ Gossip/ RumoursRumours
Reactions/ Reactions/ Emotional Emotional OutburstsOutbursts
OpenOpen BlindBlind
HiddenHidden UnknownUnknown
Known to SelfKnown to Self Not Known to SelfNot Known to Self
Known Known to Othersto Others
Not Not Known Known to Othersto Others
JOHARI WINDOW - Blind & Hidden Areas are your enemies
THE ICEBERG
HOW MUCH DO YOU SEE OF AN ICEBERG?
THE ICEBERG
ONLY 10% OF ANY ICEBERG IS VISIBLE. THE REMAINING 90% IS BELOW SEA LEVEL.
THE ICEBERG
SEA LEVEL
10 %
90 %
VISIBLEABOVE SEA LEVEL
INVISIBLEBELOW SEA LEVEL
• The Iceberg phenomena is directly applicable to us human beings …
THE ICEBERG
THE ICEBERG
SEA LEVEL
KNOWLEDGE&
SKILLS
ATTITUDE
UNKNOWN to UNKNOWN to
OTHERS & OTHERS &
Sometimes to SELFSometimes to SELF
KNOWN KNOWN TO OTHERS & SELFTO OTHERS & SELF
• In other words,
THE ICEBERG
THE ICEBERG
SEA LEVEL
BEHAVIOR
VALUES – STANDARDS – JUDGMENTS
ATTITUDEMOTIVES – ETHICS - BELIEFS
KNOWN KNOWN TO OTHERS & SELFTO OTHERS & SELF
UNKNOWN to UNKNOWN to
OTHERS & OTHERS &
sometimes to SELFsometimes to SELF
Don’t Forget - JOHARI WINDOW
Open Blind
Hidden Unknown
Known to SelfKnown to Self Not Known to SelfNot Known to Self
Known Known to to OthersOthers
Not Not Known Known to to OthersOthers
HomeHome
YOU CAN BE A LEADER
Ir-respective of:-
1.Zero Team2.Your Age3.Your Grade/ Level4.Your Experience5.Your In-Experience6.Your Designation
Leadership Qualities1. Never say “I Quit”• Do you have the ability to persist & persevere?• Do you have the courage to withstand all failures & roadblocks? • Would you in a crisis - Step up, Rise and defeat the crisis?
2. Build Team (People who will stand together during good or bad times)
• Getting people to work together can be done by anyone. • To make them work as a team is what matters in any game of life – profession or sport or
anywhere with people at the backdrop. • Building a team is no cake walk & certainly not the easiest of goals. It requires a leader to
take risks. Risk of personal sacrifice & doing the un-done & thinking the un-thinkable. • Team Building requires taking risks & the first principle of leadership is making different
people un-like each other work as a unit, as a family as a cohesive force called as a “Team”.
Leadership Qualities3. Raise the bar – Forever
– Who said there is something called as a TARGET/ GOAL?
– Once you reach a goal, it doesn’t mean “The End”, it just means a milestone is finished but then that’s not all.
– After a goal, you can enjoy, reflect, learn, un-learn & move on to set another goal.
– The pursuit of perfection is not in its attainment but in the journey
4. Stand by your convictions
• Leadership is not always about consensus.
• It is also about suspending popular judgments for a strong personal vision.
• It is about standing up for the belief you strongly possess & recognizing the talent within the un-explored facets of your team.
• It is about doing the right thing even when the consensus is against the same.
Leadership Qualities
5. Leadership is more about “Pull”“Pull” than “Push”“Push” • Are you able to respond with Patience to aggressive behavior?
• Is your usual approach to aggression - more responsive aggression?
• Do you think you can always get work done only by pushing people?
• Metaphor of Push Versus Pull – Volunteers Please!!!
6. Leadership’s most critical aspect - Problem Solving Ability– Do you find PROBLEMS or do you look for SOLUTIONS?– Do you look for ALTERNATIVES when blocked by any issues or wait
for seniors to act?
Leadership Qualities7. Have Faith in people & Believe in them– Surprisingly, everyone of us has a small child hidden inside. – Everyone of us likes to be acknowledged, recognized, appreciated &
loved for. – You’d be pleasantly surprised with what your people can do for you if
you have faith in them. – A good leader doesn’t get in-secure if his/ her team member is
appreciated.– People don’t leave us for money, they find money as the reason when
we don’t give them anything else in abundance.– The anything else is care, appreciation, acknowledgement,
recognition & support.
Leadership Qualities8. Passion– Are you Passionate about something?– Are you really in touch with your SPIRIT,
THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & ACTIONS?
Home
Before we move ahead please note that:
• IQ means intelligence quotient
• EQ means emotional quotient
• EI means emotional intelligence
Emotions And Their Blends:• Anger: fury, outrage, resentment, annoyance,
hostility.• Love: acceptance, friendliness, trust, kindness,
infatuation.• Shame: guilt, remorse, humiliation, regret.• Fear: anxiety, nervousness, apprehension,
terror.• Enjoyment: happiness, joy, relief, contentment,
pleasure.• Sadness: Grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom.• Surprise: Shock, astonishment, amazement
wonder.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS: -
1. OUR CAPACITY TO RECOGNIZE OUR OWN FEELINGS FOR OTHERS
2. AND HOW WE MANAGE OUR OWN FEELINGS WITHIN OUR SELF
Are we giving EQ education in schools /collegesAre we giving EQ education in schools /colleges
• NO. Our educational system gives stress on IQ and not on EQ. We are taught History, Hindi, English, Geography, Physics, anthropology, Botany, Computers, Medicine, Engineering etc.
• We are NOT TAUGHT how to handle frustration, anxieties, stress, failure, depression, burnout, inferiority complexes, ego problems
• We are not told to learn how to manage emotions i.e.; interaction, coordination, Adjustment, communication
WE ARE EXPECTED TO LEARN ALL THESE FROM OUR PARENTS, PEER GROUP OF OTHER ROLE MODELS who in turn might themselves have
EQ as a major challenge of their PERSONALITY
At the later stages of our lives we are told to master emotional competencies to be SUCCESSFUL.
We are not taught how to fight Recession, Job Loss, Death, Depression, De-Motivation, Fear etc.
IQ v/s EQ(Intelligence Quotient v/s Emotional Quotient)
• The research shows that IQ can help you to be successful to the extent of 20 percent only in life. The rest of 80 percent success depends on your EQ & SQ
80% EQ
20% IQ
Then What is Success ????
GETS YOU HIRED GETS YOU FIRED/ PROMOTED
THE PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS
IQ versus EQ
• IQ predicts success at school
• IQ on average predicts only 10% of success on the job
• IQ is fixed, and peaks in the late teens and early twenties.
• IQ is culturally bound
• IQ cannot be developed
Characteristics of a low EQ Person
“If only I had a different job … …”“If only I had finished graduation … …”“If only I had been handsome/beautiful …”“If only my spouse had stopped drinking …”“If only I had been born rich and famous…”
“If only I had good contacts…”“If only I had better friends …”“If only I had married someone else …”
Characteristics of a High EQ Person
• A time to wait and a time to watch,• A time to be aggressive and a time to be passive,
• A time to be together and a time to be alone, • A time to fight and a time to love,• A time to work and a time to play,• A time to cry and a time to laugh,• A time to confront and a time to withdraw,• A time to speak and a time to be silent, • A time to be patient and a time to decide.
Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days.
I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow." "Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out. Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship. The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.“ Back came the signal, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.“
The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees." "I'm a seaman second class," came the reply. You had better change course 20 degrees."
By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.“
Back came the flashing light, "I'm a lighthouse.“
We changed course.
Make a difference wherever you go? Be significant – stand firm & yet allow the storms
to pass by “YOU”. Be a LighthouseBe a Lighthouse
THINKING-HEAD THINKING-HEAD IQIQ
DOING-BODYDOING-BODYActionsActions
FEELING-HEARTFEELING-HEARTEQEQ
BEING-SPIRITBEING-SPIRITSQSQ
Real capacity is explored when there is an alignment between
““Learning how to Learning how to
learn is life's most learn is life's most
important skill.”important skill.”
– – Tony Buzan Tony Buzan
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