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CHAPTER 12Interpersonal Relations: Relationships and Work
Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship
Propinquity (physical proximity) and familiarity Attractive features
Intelligence, personality, looks, talent, possessions The “what is beautiful is good” stereotype The “beauty is on the inside” effect The pay advantage of physical attractiveness The matching hypothesis in partner selection
Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship
Propinquity (physical proximity) and familiarity Attractive features
Intelligence, personality, looks, talent, possessions The “what is beautiful is good” stereotype The “beauty is on the inside” effect The pay advantage of physical attractiveness The matching hypothesis in partner selection
Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship
Similarity and interpersonal attraction Assortative mating on age, race, religious affiliation,
SES, education, interests, sexual attitudes, background, and some personality traits
Do opposites attract? The complementarity notion: Examples of when opposites (usually) don’t attract:
introversion/extraversion, sensation seeking, sociosexuality
Examples of when opposites (rarely) do attract: neuroticism, sadism/masochism
Love: different theoretical perspectives
Reinforcement-affect model: Byrne and Clore Exchange versus communal relationships: Clark
and Mills Short-term equity is important in exchange relationships Only long-term equity is important in communal
relationships Liking versus loving (Z. Rubin): strong need for
affiliation, desire to help and benefit the other, sense of exclusiveness—and passion?
Love: different theoretical perspectives
Passionate love: appropriate and desirable love object, beliefs and expectations about love, heightened level of emotional arousal (example: The Dutton and Aron scary bridge study)
When love turns to anger: the arousal re-attribution hypothesis
From passionate love to companionate love An integrative perspective: Sternberg’s love
dimensions (passion, intimacy, decision/commitment)
Passionate love: a three-factor model
Presence of an appropriate and
attractive individual
Cultural beliefs and expectations
about love
Physiological arousal that is
interpreted and labeled as love
Passionate
Love
Walk on the high suspension bridge
Height induces fast heart rate
Encounter the attractive woman
High heart rate seems to indicate attraction
60% use the number and call her back
Walk on the low stable bridge
Heart rate is normal, not elevated
Encounter the attractive woman
No heightened arousal to misattribute as attraction to her
Only 30% use her number to call her back
Dutton and Aron’s (1974) Two Bridges study
Love: different theoretical perspectives
Passionate love: appropriate and desirable love object, beliefs and expectations about love, heightened level of emotional arousal (example: The Dutton and Aron scary bridge study)
When love turns to anger: the arousal re-attribution hypothesis
From passionate love to companionate love An integrative perspective: Sternberg’s love
dimensions (passion, intimacy, decision/commitment)
Love: Sternberg’s (1987) perspective
Love Components
Type of Love Passion Intimacy Commitment
Liking No Yes No
Infatuation Yes No No
Romantic Yes Yes No
Companionate No Yes Yes
Consummate Yes Yes Yes
Romance in the workplace
Office romances The proximity factor and assortative mating Trading attributes: youth and beauty for education,
status, resources, age Mixed motives: love motivation, ego motivation, job
motivation Romance and job performance: plusses and
minuses Guidelines for handling workplace romance
Job romance: three basic motives
Partners Motives Relationship Frequency
Male
Female
Love, ego
Love, ego
Passionate love 36%
Male
Female
Love
Love
Companionate love 23%
Male
Female
Ego
Ego
Fling 19%
Male
Female
Ego, job
Love, job
Male-dominated
utilitarian
8%
Male
Female
Ego
Ego, job
Female-dominated
utilitarian
14%
Romance in the workplace
Office romances The proximity factor Trading attributes: youth and beauty for education,
status, resources, age Mixed motives: love motivation, ego motivation, job
motivation Romance and job performance: plusses and
minuses Guidelines for handling workplace romance
Romance in the workplace Sexual harassment
Five categories: gender harassment, seductive behaviors, sexual bribery, sexual coercion, sexual assault
Factors that inhibit reporting: confusing social norms, giving the offender the benefit of the doubt, desire for social acceptance, ease of ignoring minor infractions
Consequences of sexual harassment: low job satisfaction, psychological problems, health problems, absenteeism, desire to leave the job
Romance in the workplace Sexual harassment
The organizational climate: the gender context, the tolerance context (ambient sexual harassment)
Dealing with sexual harassment: about 75% of companies have a written policy. Typical outcomes: 80% reprimand, 20% firing
Clear policy statement, procedures for filing and acting on complaints, procedures to protect privacy and confidentiality, use of third-parties, procedures for fact finding and action, counseling, prevention
Work and family relationships Dual career couples
Distribution of household chores Stress, mental and physical health concerns, daycare, guilt Job sharing
Marital status and quality of life: married couples versus singles
Social support, mutual monitoring of health concerns More stable lives with fewer risks Less loneliness Exceptions: distressed marriages, extreme lifestyles, unusual
job demands
Work and family relationships Single parents: extra demands
About 6% of the workforce are single parents Extra demands: divorced or widowed status, reduced
income, added responsibilities and stress, lack of social support, time constraints, child care issues
Solutions: after-school programs, single-partner support groups, flex time, telecommuting, job sharing
Work and home: the spillover effect
Aggression at work: destructive relationships
Homicides are the number-one cause of traumatic death at work (jealous husbands, disgruntled employees, rapes, theft). About 15% of all violent crime occurs in the workplace.
The causes of violence: frustration, failure to achieve a desired goal, stress, personal conflicts, anger and hostility
Need to appraise the situation Need to evaluate one’s options Talking things out Eliminating injustice in the workplace Bosses from heaven Anger management training
Aggression at work: destructive relationships
Personal characteristics and violence The cultural socialization of males History of violence and “acting out” Emotional reactivity (volatility) Poor impulse control Alcohol and drug use Low level of mental development
Aggression at work: destructive relationships
Controlling violence “Venting” (i.e., catharsis) usually doesn’t work Screening for aggressive tendencies Training in handling interpersonal conflicts Developing perceptions of justice Reducing emotionality Producing incompatible responses Dealing with the causes of the anger Applying person-oriented leadership