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Chapter 3Lessons 1,2,3
Achieving Mental & Emotional Health-Self Esteem
-Character & Personal Identity-Emotions
-Anger Management
“A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain.”
(C) Chris Le Baudour – Used by permission
Some Key Terms…
Ethics – refers to principles that define behavior as right, good and proper.
Making Ethical Decisions, Wes Hanson
Such principles do not always dictate a single Such principles do not always dictate a single “moral’ course of action, but provide a means of “moral’ course of action, but provide a means of evaluating and deciding among competing options.evaluating and deciding among competing options.
(C) Chris Le Baudour – Used by permission
Some Key Terms…
Values – The inner judgments or beliefs that determine how a person actually behaves
The terms “The terms “EthicsEthics” and “” and “ValuesValues” ” are are NOTNOT interchangeable. interchangeable.
(C) Chris Le Baudour – Used by permission
Let’s Boil it Down Some More…
Ethics = BehaviorBehavior
Values = Values = BeliefsBeliefs
WHAT DOES THIS QUOTE MEAN TO YOU?
The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.” ― Abigail Van Buren
Values – ideas, beliefs, and attitudes about what is import and guide the way you live.
Accountability – taking ownership actions, choices, and outcomes
Integrity – firm observance of core ethical values
Respect – treating yourself, other people, your school, and property with care and dignity
Paying it forward
Achievement Friendships Physical challenge
Advancement and promotion Growth Pleasure
Adventure Having a family Power and authority
Affection (love and caring) Helping other people Privacy
Arts Helping society Public service
Challenging problems Honesty Purity
Change and variety Independence Quality of what I take part in
Close relationships Influencing others Quality relationships
Community Inner harmonyRecognition (respect from others, status)
Competence Integrity Religion
Competition Intellectual status Reputation
Cooperation Involvement Responsibility and accountability
Country Job tranquility Security
Creativity Knowledge Self-Respect
Decisiveness Leadership Serenity
Democracy Location Sophistication
Ecological awareness Loyalty Stability
Economic security Market position Status
Effectiveness Meaningful work Supervising others
Efficiency Merit Time freedom
Ethical practice Money Truth
Excellence Nature Wealth
Excitementbeing around people whoare open and honest
Wisdom
FameOrder (tranquility,stability, conformity)
Work under pressure
Fast living Personal development Work with others
Financial gain Freedom Working alone
Pick 10 that are most important to you and how you behave
Imagine you can only keep 5, cross off the 5 that are least important to you.
Now imagine that you are only permitted four. Which would you give up? Cross it off.
Now cross off another, to bring our list down to three.
And another, to bring our list down to two.
Finally cross off one of your two values. Which is the one item on the list that you care most about?
Elimination
DO NOW: Rate Values 1 - 5 1 not important- 5 very important1.Give 100% in everything I do.2.To be honest.3.To make lots of money.4.To be respectful to my parents.5.To have a positive outlook.6.To try new things.7.To be healthy.8.To get the most out of everyday.9.To be respected by my friends.10.To do well in school.11.To do well in activities I enjoy.
Character- qualities that describe how a person thinks, feels, and behaves
How could YOU demonstrate good character?
6 Common Traits of Character
1) Trustworthiness
2) Respect
3) Responsibility
4) Fairness
5) Caring
6) Citizenship
Define TERMS
1) Trustworthiness – honest, loyal, reliable,
2) Respect – considerate others and except differences
3) Responsibility – use self control, think before you act, consider consequences
4) Fairness – play by rules, share, take turns
5) Caring – kind & compassionate
6) Citizenship – take interest in world around you
- FIRST NAME TOP (BIG)
- #1 Character Trait CENTER (BIG)
- Draw Three pictures how you show that trait.
- Name & Last Name on BACK
Value Wall
Self Actualization – being the best you can
Physical
Safety
Love & Friendship
Self Worth - important, capable, confident. , recognized, self esteem & self respect
Self Fulfillment- inner talent, creativity
Personality – complex set of characteristics that makes you unique
Influences:1) Heredity 2) Environment
Modeling- observing & learning from the people around you
Role Model – Someone whose success or behavior serves as an example for you
The Man In The Glass Peter Dale Wimbrow
When you get what you want in your struggle for selfAnd the world makes you king for a dayJust go to the mirror and look at yourselfAnd see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife Whose judgment upon you must passThe fellow whose verdict counts most in your lifeIs the one staring back from the glass.
He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the restFor he’s with you, clear to the endAnd you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous testIf the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of yearsAnd get pats on the back as you passBut your final reward will be heartache and tearsIf you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
Brains Works
Riding Bike
Self-Esteem
Training an Elephant
Brain and Self-Esteem (failures)
Are the following traits an example of high or low self esteem?
How many describe you?
High or Low Self-Esteem
1. Fears change or trying new things.2. Take responsibility for one’s actions &
mistakes3. Able to take charge and show leadership4. Aware and accepting of one’s own strengths &
weakness5. Unable to show leadership, follows others6. When victimized remains victim does not
overcome situation7. Accepts change and is eager to accept new
things.8. Has self respect and self confidence9. Always criticizes self or blames others10.Gets approval from self and does not depend
on others.11.Tends to find the negative in things, people,
and situations
Self Esteem – how much you value, respect, and feel confident about yourself
Personal identity – your sense of yourself as a unique
John Foppe Video
“I am unique……I am of great worth.”
John F Video – Self-Esteem (Personal Identity)
Form Positive Self-Esteem/Personal Identity
Strengths & weaknesses
Positive values
Goals
Meaningful relationships
Constructive criticism – non- hostile comments that encourage improvement
Self-talk – say good things about yourself
Emotions – signals that tell your mind and body how to react
Types Emotions-Anger - Fear - Love - Guilt
- Happiness Empathy – understand how someone feels
Emotions
Learning how to deal with
emotions can reduce violence
Hostility – intentional use of unfriendly or offensive behavior
720,000 (10-24) tr
eated
in ER because of
VIOLENCE
Defense Mechanism – mental process that protects individuals from strong emotions
Repression- Involuntary pushing feelings out of thought
Suppression- Voluntary …………
Regression- acting like a child
These will help for the short term but eventually a
person needs to work through emotion
Projection- blaming others for your emotion Denial- unconscious lack of
acknowledgement obvious to others Rationalization – giving another
interpretation Compensation- making up for weakness by
giving gifts
“He who angers you conquers you.”~Elizabeth Kenny
“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. ”
~Eckhart Tolle
ANGER QUOTES
Anger is a very powerful emotion. It is every bit as normal as falling in love.
No one can make us angry, we make ourselves angry.
Anger is a result of unmet expectations or need.
ANGER
Answer Each Questions with a score of
0- means the item is never of rarely true for you
1 – means it is sometimes true
2- means that the item is almost always true for you
WHAT IS YOUR ANGER STYLE?
1. I am blunt and forceful when things don’t go my way. 2. I avoid or withdraw from people when I am angry with them. 3. I complain about people behind their back, but not to their face. 4. I disagree with others without attacking them or becoming defensive. 5. I don’t keep grudges or seek revenge when problems cannot be solved. 6. I don’t like to let other people know when I am angry. 7. I feel like hitting someone who makes me very angry. 8. I don’t like to express my anger. 9. I am depressed or moody. 10. I look for solutions that make everyone happy. 11. I politely, but firmly, tell others when I am angry. 12. I pout and feel sorry for myself when I am angry. 13. I cover my anger by drinking, taking drugs, or overeating. 14. I swear loudly to blow off steam. 15. I take some time to calm down before talking with others. 16. I try not to let my anger show. 17. I use sarcasm and “little jokes or names” to make people look bad or feel bad. 18. If I’m very upset, I’ll hit something. 19. If things are bad enough, I’ll throw something. 20. When I am angry, I become silent to make it obvious that I am unhappy.
Use physical or verbal force to get rid threats
-This is one of your body’s natural reactions to severe stress.
- Physical or verbal force often leads to more anger and problems.
- People who vent their anger through physical or verbal force tend to become more angry, rather than less.
STYLE A – OPEN AGGRESSION
pretend that they are not angry. T- ignore their angry feelings and hope
that they will go away.
- feel uncomfortable expressing anger and don’t want other people to know when they are angry.
- People who manage their anger this way may develop headaches, ulcers, stomachaches, or other illnesses
Style B – Suppressed Anger
show their anger in indirect ways, instead of dealing with the problem head on.
- They often hope the other person will notice that they are angry by pouting, refusing to talk, or giving clues, such as slamming a door or stomping their feet.
- This style also tries to get back at the person by talking about them behind their back, “belittling” him/her, or using sarcasm.
- It often leads to more anger and problems.
Style C – Passive Aggressive
aware of yourself getting angry and control their anger and express it in polite and
honest ways.
- They are able to talk with others without attacking them.
- They listen to other people’s point of view and try to solve problems in ways that meet everyone’s needs.
- They are able to let go of their angry feelings and forgive other people, even when problems cannot be solved.
- They do not carry grudges and are not bitter. - This style promotes good health and strong
relationships
Style D - Assertive Problem Solving
Anger trigger- what causes the anger
Displacement – taking your anger out on something or someone else
Anger Cues- bodily changes during anger
Breathing & sweating increase Hrt & BP increase Dry mouth Decreased sensitivity to pain Increased muscle strength Facial cues (eyebrows, lips, red face)
A – Aware of anger triggers C – Channel your energy different direction T - TALK about the situation
Anger Management Handout
Anger Management Skills
Anger level (1-10 utter rage)
Physical Response: How did your body respond?
What caused anger?
What was you response?
What could have you done differently?
The purposes of doing this "Letter to Self" are:
To provide a record of your life and who you are now
To anchor in time your current views, attitudes, philosophy, and outlook
To explore your feelings and opinions about a variety of issues
To create a document that, years from now, will have significant value to you
• ME, NOW: my hopes, fears, dreams, intentions, goals, problems, concerns, likes, dislikes, joys, frustrations; what I like about myself; what I don't like about myself; what I'm proud of; what I think about; what bothers me; who I am, etc.
• MY WORLD: a description of my home, bedroom, school, neighborhood, town; my favorite places to go; chores, allowance, pet(s), possessions, clothes, religion, current events; FAVORITES: books, music groups, movies, TV, etc. Include a map of your room, street, etc.
• WHAT I DO: my hobbies, pastimes, sports, school activities; what I do when I'm alone; what I do with friends; favorite snacks and foods; chores; how I spend my weekends and vacations; special activities I do, organizations I belong to, etc.
• PEOPLE IN MY LIFE: my family, siblings, aunts and uncles, grandparents, friends, best friend(s), teachers, the opposite sex, "him" or "her," who I like, people I'd like to know better, people I admire and respect, important people in my life, people who annoy me, etc.
• MY FUTURE: predictions, what I want to do, my long range intentions, what I'm looking forward to; what I'm dreading; my goals, my hopes and fears for the world; summer vacation, high school, college, marriage, employment, etc.