DATINGChapter 7

The Dating Proces7:1

DATE MY DAUGHTER

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What is the Purpose of Dating

You keep a positive attitude about yourself

You avoid a long-term commitment too early in life

You make decisions that are consistent with your long-term goals

Functions of Dating

Dating is the pathway that leads to engagement and marriage

Understanding Others

Develop close romantic friendships Learn how others:

Think and feelWhat they like to doWhat are their goals

Understanding Yourself

Developing a relationship requires that you also share you ideas and feelings

Providing Companionship Dating gives you the opportunity spend

time with someone who shares your interests.

Feelings of friendship may develop into a deeper relationship as your spend more time with the other person.

Improving Communication Skills

Open communication is an important part of building any relationshipYour verbal and nonverbal message need to

matchNeed to practice active listening skills

Learning to Negotiate

Sensitive to the other’s ideas and feelings

Helps you develop empathy Helps you grow socially and emotionally

Learning to Be Responsible Provides opportunities to take

responsibility Show responsibility for other

commitments Show another person that you care

about them

Evaluation Personality Traits Find out what personality traits you most

like in a partner Evaluate qualities and find those that do

or do not appeal to you What it takes to get along with your

dating partner The qualities you would like to find in

your ideal mate for marriage become easier to identify

Stages of the Dating Process

Group Dating – a group of people spend time together and develop friendship

Pair Dating – a couple will develop a relations with each other

Steady Dating – a commitment to date only one person

The couple may make a serious commitment to become engaged for marriage

Group Dating

Informal group dating You can improve your social skills

without making the commitment

Pair Dating

Two people spend time as a couple building their friendship

Double date – when another couple joins a date

Steady dating or going out- commitment to date only each other

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Steady Dating Advantages

Develop trust Openness Respect for each

other Being themselves Resolving and

handling conflicts in a positive way

Disadvantages Limit your experiences

with friends Limit your opportunities

to meet new people Break up can be

difficult○ Feel trapped○ Feel used or

controlled You may not want to

hurt the other person

Beginning a Dating Relationship

Make your appearance count

Be friendly, confident, and courteous

Start a conversation

Listen intently to what the person shares

Plan some time together

Personal Boundaries Personal Boundaries are limits for behavior that you will

accept in your relationships What you are willing to say Think Do in your relationship has crossed the line

When one person in the relationship forces that other to do something outside of his/her personal boundaries, it is a sign of abuse

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Any kind of physical abuse

Verbal abuse

Demands on your time

Demands for sexual favors

Disrespect for your ideas, feelings and person

Ending a Dating Relationship

Dating relationships end in many ways:May not have enough in commonCouples may drift apart One partner many not feel the relationship is

growing closeBreaking up most difficult of the person who

wants to keep the relationship going○ Realize your partner will feel hurt○ Change your dating patterns○ Recognize your feelings are normal○ Emphasize other aspects of your life

Commitment to marry

Most people follow the dating process through engagement to marriage

Engagement is the formal commitment before marriage

Love7:2

Romantic Love

Infatuation – a strong feeling of attraction that tends to be self-centered or one-sided

Some people are disappointed when this feeling fades

Mature Love Mature love is different from infatuation

Characterized by giving and unselfish attitude

Committed to finding and doing what is best for each other

You cannot “fall” into mature love

Mature love grows as a relationship grow

The Growth of Mature Love1. Develop Rapport

2. Personal SharingTrust develops

3. Dependency on each other

4. Feeling of satisfaction

Chart pg 156 and 157

Making the Decision to Wait Set your personal boundaries

Peer Pressure

Media Pressure

Why Wait? Psychological Consequences

Values Does not mean commitment Self-doubt, guilt, feeling used or abused, fear and lack of trust

Unwanted Pregnancy

Sexually Transmitted Infections Human Papillomavirus (HPV) – genital warts Gonorrhea Chlamydia Genital Herpes Syphilis Hepatitis B HIV/AIDS

Responding to Pressure

Set your personal boundaries Talk to your partner Avoid situations that may cause you to

be tempted Never too late to make a decision to wait

Date or Acquaintance Rape

Rape – forced sexual intercourse

Date Rape – sexual intercourse with a dating partner

Acquaintance Rape – occur between friends, classmates, or coworkers

Date Rape Drugs cause victims to become physically helplessHas no color, smell or taste