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Chemical Dependencyand the Family
Dawn Farm Education Series: 2011
Nancy Quay, LMSW
Presentation
Definition of family
Chemical dependency overview
Effects of chemical dependency onfamilies
What can you do?
Resources
A family is
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Family members include:
Spouses/partners
Parents Children
Siblings
Extended family members
Committed friends
Common features of families
Unique roles
Shared roles
Rulesspoken or unspoken
Values and beliefs
Shared history
And everything reflects thechange
Role shifts Changed responsibilities
Rules are broken
Upended values and beliefs
Loss of history
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Ripple Effect
Change in one aspect creates rippleswhich change the other aspects
Disease of Chemical Dependency
Biological effects
Psychological effects
Primary
Chronic Illness
Progressive
Signs and Symptoms
Fatal
Overview
Addiction is a disease of the brain thatleads to the abuse of mind-alteringchemicals.
Addiction results in physical, mental,social, and spiritual deterioration.
Addiction has both biological andpsychological components.
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Biological/Physical Effects
Chemical tolerance
Withdrawal symptoms Chemically dependent people crave drugs
and physically do not feel normal withoutthem
Psychological Effects
Drugs control mind, thinking, attitude,beliefs
Drugs control their moods
Belief life is not possible without drugs
Obsessive thoughts about drug
Love relationship with drug
Addiction is Primary
Caused by use
Brain changes as a result of use
Use can be influenced bygeneticssome people seem morelikely to become addicted than others
Ones environment can also influenceabuse that can lead to addiction.
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Addiction is Chronic
Symptoms arise and last over time(more than 3 months)
Interrupts the developmental cycle
Time not spent developing talents, skills,interests
Time spent in detention, jail, prison
May begin with an acute event (ormore than one)
Eventually just becomes routine
Addiction is Progressive
Stages
Early
May be asymptomatic
Middle
Tends to be when use affectsrelationships, life, work, etc.
Late
Obvious symptoms
Signs and symptoms
Frequent intoxication Once user starts, cant stop
Blackouts
Behavior changes while using
Begins to miss work or otherobligations
Disruptions in work or family life
Legal troubles
Other symptoms
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Addiction is Fatal
If left untreated, addiction to drugs willeventually kill by disease, overdose, oraccident. Drug related car accidents, other serious
accidents
Violent activities, dangerous behaviors,gangs, fights, burglaries, homicide
Overdose
Suicide, attempted suicide
Diseases related to drug use
How Addiction Affects Families
Chemical dependency affects families inmany ways
From positive to negative
From minor to extreme
These problems can have a direct orindirect impact on any family member inany area of their life.
Chemical Dependency Changes:
How it feels to live in the family
How people communicate
How family members relate to eachother and get along
How family members deal
with problems and conflicts
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Chemical Dependency Changes:
How family members meet each others
needs How members assume roles and meet
the demands of these roles
How family members relate to theoutside world: We often recreate ourfamily relationships in otherrelationships!
Family Characteristics
When alcohol abuse or addiction staysaround for a long time, certainnegative characteristics become apart of the familys daily life.
Guilt
o Family members blame themselvesfor the behavior of the dependentperson.
o They believe they must be doingsomething which triggers thedrinking or using.
o They begin to question themselvesand find unreasonable fault in theirown behavior.
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Insecurity
o Things are never steady for any periodof time.
o Shaky finances and lack of job securitymay be constantly present.
o Daily duties and responsibilities are notmet.
o Each member of the family has thefeeling the roof could fall in at anyminute.
Fear
o Deep within, each member of the familyknows that something is seriouslywrong.
o The family knows that tragedy is justaround the corner.
o The family lives with the dependentpersons sudden changes in mood,often with anger and violence erupting.
Embarrassment
o Social events are cancelled.
o Friends are not invited into the home.
o Despite this dance of avoidance, thebehavior of the chemically dependentperson continues to bringembarrassment to family members.
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Isolation
o Communication within the family
erodes.
o No one is willing to talk about feelingsregarding the problem.
o The family of an addicted person cannotbe a close-knit group.
Disappointment
o The chemically dependent person isunable to live up to his or hercommitments and promises.
o Broken promises and unfulfilledexpectations are common.
o Members of the family are constantlyhaving their high hopes turn into greatdisappointments.
Suspicion and Loss of Trust
o Members of the family learn early thatthe chemically dependent person cannot be trusted.
o Conflicts and accusations are common.
o This condition encourages thechemically dependent person tocontinue using or drinking.
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Resentment
o The unexpressed anger towards the
chemically dependent person is heldwithin and becomes raging resentment.
o This growing resentment may causemembers of the family to reactinappropriately, not only toward thedependent person, but to everyone thatis close to him or her.
Ways Family MembersReduce Stress
Ignoring the problem behaviors,conflict, and pain
Using defense mechanisms (both thechemically dependent person and otherfamily members)
Taking on new roles to stabilize thefamily
Special Roles in ChemicallyDependent Families
The Family Hero
The Family Scapegoat
The Lost Child
The Family Mascot
The Chief Enabler
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The Family Mascot
Behaviors: Class clown, seeks attention through humor
and acting out, uses humor to keep people at adistance, seldom serious
Feelings: Anxiety measures self-worth by how others
see him or her; anger; hurt; loneliness
As an adult: Problems in school and at work, seldom forms
intimate relationships, clowns around or lifeof the party, may develop SA problems
Offers the family a senseof comic relief from the pain
The Chief Enabler
Behaviors: Shelters and shields the using family members, makes
excuses for and may lie to protect the user, minimizes
negative consequences, blames others for theproblems, sometimes sabotages progress towardsrecovery
Feelings: Anger, hurt, guilt, resentment, anxiety, fear,
desperate to control everything, helpless, exhausted
Offers the family a senseof stability and protection
What Can I Do?
Continued addiction leads only threeplaces:
Death
Jail
Institution
Are any of these acceptableoptions for your family member?
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A Familys Major Tasks forDefeating the Disease of Addiction
Understand the biological andpsychological disease of addiction
Understand the wide-ranging effects onall family members
Understand each family members rolein living with an addicted member
Make Change Happen
Remember: systemic disease needssystemic treatment
Chemically dependent families havechoices and can break the unhealthynorms of the family.
It doesnt matter why these roles weredeveloped, they do not have to bemaintained!
Additional Strategies
Parents must recognizethat addiction is a family illness thatrequires treatment for all familymembers
Confront denial regarding the impact oftheir own substance abuse -- acceptresponsibility for substance-abusebehavior
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Tools and Support
Honesty and openness
Positive support and structure
Clear boundaries Healthy behaviors
Meet needs
Stay active
Look for signs of progress, not perfection
Get professional help
Tools and Support
Friends, relatives, school counselors,religious leaders
Support groups: Al-Anon, Alateen, Co-Dependents Anonymous, AdultChildren of Alcoholics (ACOA)
Books and Internet information
Work the 12-step Program
Recovery is Possible!
When the world says
Give up,
Hope whispers
Try it one more time.-Author Unknown
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