CHILDHOOD ANXIETYHelping Children Heal
Presented by:Tammy Schamuhn & Tania Johnson
R. Psychologists., Reg. Play Therapists; Co-Founders of the Institute of Child Psychology
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
2
WHAT IS Anxiety? a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome
MYTHS ABOUT Anxiety1. You should be able to control a child’s anxiety
2. Anxiety is bad and we should be anxiety free
YOUR BRAIN ON Anxiety1. Brain StemReptilian Brain
2. LimbicEmotional Brain
“”
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
3
3. Prefrontal CortexLogical
FIGHT-FLIGHT-FREEZE-COLLAPSE
LEFT BRAIN:Logical, precise, language, ordering, scientific
RIGHT BRAIN: Imaginative, intuitive, artistic, creative, emotions.Children have a highly developed right brain and need us to connect with them using the right brain: emotions and touch!
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
4
WHERE IS Anxiety COMING FROM?1. Lack of time in naturea. Nature Deficit Theory
b. Biophilia Hypothesis
2. TechnologyDiagnoses of ADHD, autism, coordination disorder, developmental delays, unintelligible speech, learning difficulties, sensory processing disorder, anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders are associated with technology overuse, and are increasing at an alarming rate.
Touch activates the parasympathetic system (the “brakes” in terms of revving down our nervous system) lowering cortisol,
adrenalin, and anxiety = we don’t access this system with technology, we actually activate the sympathetic nervous system (“gas peddle”).
Continued exposure to high levels of sensory input = real life seems slow = boredom and inattentiveness.
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
5
Simplifying OUR HOMES AND OUR RELATIONSHIPSOverwhelm:Too many choices; reduce; changes in home (lighting, natural scents etc); and more nature, social interactions, movement etc.
Unpredictability:Rhythm, predictability, sleep, free play, schedules
Over-scheduled:Boredom is good, kids too over-scheduled, create ordinary days, too many activities
Unfiltered World:Filter out the adult world until they’re developmentally ready; less talking and emotional monitoring; refrain from hovering
Unbalanced:
PlayPlay allows children to use their creativity while
developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive, and emotional strength.
Play is important to healthy brain development.
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
6
Attachment Styles:1. Secure Attachment
2. Avoidant Attachment
3. Ambivalent Attachment
4. Disorganized Attachment
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
7
HOW WE Attach(Gordon Neufeld)
1. SensesContact and physical closeness
2. SamenessTo mimic, look like, walk like
3. Belonging and LoyaltyOn the same side, serve and obey, possessiveness
4. SignificanceTo matter to those they love and care about
5. LoveGives heart away, deep emotional attachment
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
8
6. Being KnownNo secrets, being accepted unconditionally, sharing everything
FOSTERING A HEALTHY Attachment• Meet them where they are at in terms of their
attachment level• Lots of affection: you cannot spoil a child with love!• Comfort when distressed: do not ignore a cry for help• Be present and mindful in your interactions (put your
phone away)• Provide a balance of support and freedom• Be attuned to your child
• Know how to be alpha for your child• Be dependable and teach them that nothing can
separate them from their parents love• Talk to your child, not just “at them”• Collect: get the eyes, a smile, and a nod• Match make other attachments
HIDDEN WAYS Attachment BECOMES DISRUPTED• Feeling that love may be taken away• Messages from parents: I need a break from you;
you’re too much for me• Ignoring or the silent treatment• You won’t be able to stay with me if you don’t behave
• Get out of my sight responses• Taking away things the child is attached to• Not connecting enough to the parent (remember the 6
levels of attachment)
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
9
2. A Connected Child is a Healthy Child
3. Keep It Simplei. Simplify, reduce, minimize, give purpose, social interactions, nature, boredom is good, ordinary days, quit over-scheduling kids
1. "Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First"• Look inside yourself. . .is your child picking up on
YOUR anxiety?• Failure to meet our parents expectations or not being
“not good enough” = anxiety (rejection and shame)
10 PRINCIPLES TO MANAGING Anxiety
• Ask yourself: is my fear of my child’s perceivedshortcomings (or my own) keeping me locked in a stateof fear and scarcity?
ii. Schedules are good, preview their day, sameness, rituals, food, sleep, and PLAY!!!iii. Be consistent
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
10
4. Validate• Brain won’t listen to reason because emotion is not rational!• Must speak to the right brain• 5 second rule!
Yes:
No:
5. Speak the Same Language as Your ChildPlay
Connect Through the Right Hemisphere
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
11
6. Be a Safe HavenTimeouts, yelling, shamingDon’t be a source of stressMatching to other caring adults, tell them there is an imaginary string connecting the two of you, give them anobject to remind them of you when you’re apart (i.e., a picture of you, object of clothing, locket), time-ins,bridging, logical consequences
Invest in your child, play, cuddle, love Be a strong, kind, generous leader: balance between love and authority
7. Befriend AnxietyTeach kids why anxiety is usefulTeach brain in hand model
8. Access FeelingsAllow tears, allow all feelings and make it safe to cry
“A child is not scared because there are monsters under the bed, they are scared so they see the monsters
under the bed”
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
12
9. Regulate-Relate-Reason
Relate
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
13
RegulateThermometer (L. Cohen) Label stress/anxiety 0-10
8-10Physical Contact
Ice-Cold Water
Getting Unscared
Shaking on Purpose
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
14
8-4Counting Down
Exercise
The Challenge
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
15
7-1Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Chair Breathing
Heart and Belly
Glitter Jars
Butterfly Hug & Calm Place
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
16
Bubbles, Balloons, Windmills, Cups
Dragon Breaths
Pizza Breath
Massage
Roughhousing
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
17
Fill the Space Around You
4 B's
Light Streaming Technique
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
18
ReasoningThought Detective (Teens)
Time to worry
Worst case scenario
Possibility vs probability (teens/tweens)
Journaling
Worry Box
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
19
Give it a test
“I’ll get hurt” “Do I really think I’ll get hurt?”
“Other kids/people do this all the time and they’re ok”
Worry Says Turn Into A Question Let Your Calm Brain Answer
“Is it true that no one likes me?”
“I have spent time with friends. I got invited to 2 parties and I know my family supports and loves me”
“No one likes me”
“I’ll fail” “Will I really fail?” “I have passed tests before. People who work hard usually do well”
Remember a Time When . . .
Try out for theschool play
I didn’t make the club soccer team but then had lots of fun playing regular soccer
Sometimes things don’t go the way I want it but other good things happen
I want to... I remember a time when... It reminds me how I can handle...
I was scared to go tohockey the first time
Feeling nervous at first but thenthe feelings go down
Sleep over at a friend’s house
Talk in front ofthe class
Asking a question frommy leader in cubs in frontof everyone
Feeling worried and doingit anyway
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
Act out a Story
Tell a Story/Add a Super Power
20
Narrative to Use
10. Nurture Courage• Focus on the things that excite them that eventually will
be the feeling that counteracts the fear• Let them play out their fears and gain confidence
through play
• Vulnerability is a form of courage(courage-àcoreà heart)
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
“This is called anxiety and it happens to lots of people. Anxiety comes from a part of the brain called the amygdala. It’s kind of like your own warrior, there to protect you. If your warrior thinks there’s danger it gives you this special fuel to make you stronger, faster and more powerful – kind of like a superhero. This is a great thing if there is something you bad but if there isn’t anything bad, there’s nothing to burn the special fuel and you feel sick. Your warrior also makes your tummy take a time out from doing it’s job to save energy this is completely safe, even though it might feel awful (maybe give the warrior a name). Now there’s a way to tell your warrior/superhero he/she can take a break --- it’s really powerful and then you can feel better: it’s strong big breaths through your belly. This sends a message to your warrior that you’re safe, so it knows to stop giving you fuel and the sick feeling will go away”
21
Avoidance VS ApproachFlooded Children
Avoiding Children
Successive Approximation
Natural ALTERNATIVESChamomile
Valerian Root
Lavender
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com
22
Passiflora
Lemon Balm
Rescue Remedy
Nutritional BASES
Medication
Copyright © 2020 Institute of Child Psychology www.instituteofchildpsychology.com