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July 2020 Church Roles & Responsibilities ~ FELLOWSHIP 50p In the Parish of Dalton-in-Furness, Newton, and Ireleth with Askam. St. Peter St. Mary
July 2020
Church Roles & Responsibilities ~ FELLOWSHIP
50p
In the Parish of Dalton-in-Furness, Newton, and Ireleth with Askam.
St. Peter
St. Mary
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Fellowship The last three months have been unprecedented for many of us. Some of us have been lucky enough to have left our houses, some have not. I, for one, would have been lost without my iPad to keep up with what was happening with my family, in the church, in Mothers’ Union, in the town, in the world. We have coped—but we have lacked the Fellowship. We miss talking to our family and friends face to face where we cannot hug or kiss. Virtual face to face, smiles and air kisses are all well and good but they do not fulfil the real thing. Those who have been shielding and do not have modern technology must, at times, felt cut off. I do hope they have been contacted by someone so they have not been overlooked. Ruth and Aimee have been great at organising as much help as possible with services, emails, letters, getting people to phone those who are on their own. Even helping the community with hosting the food hub in the church centre. I have just* come in from standing on our doorstep for a 2 minute silence for the Flynn family. It didn't matter that it was raining or blowing a hoolie. I’m still breathing, there are three people and a dog that aren’t. While there I also thought about Merril who died exactly a year ago. All are now in God’s keeping. Unfortunately I couldn’t hear our church bell. Hopefully it will not be long before the bell-ringers are back in the tower ringing for the glory of God.
Barbara Irwin
*11.05 28/6/2020
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TRINITY
FROM THE VICARAGE During these last 3 months (as I write) we have had lots of time to think about our lives, our relationships, our faith and the world. I don’t know about you but I have got used to this different way of life. Some of it is good and some not so good. For me I have missed the physical contact with people, those close to me, my own family who live separate from me, and those I come into contact with though pastoral occasions - when taking funerals. We have only been able so far to arrange funerals through telephone conversations, not meeting the family till the day of the funeral, at the graveside or at the crematorium. And then no shaking hands no comforting hugs, no hand on the shoulder. People have understood and after all we are safeguarding one another in the way we are adhering to the social distancing. We’ve come to a particular place now in our journey through COVID 19. The lockdown is easing even more. In the middle of June some of our churches were opened for private prayer. I was pleased that we could do that at St Mary’s, with safeguards in place, especially when the news of the devastating accident in Dalton hit the headlines. We felt that all we could do was invite people to ‘take a moment’ and if they wanted to do that in a place that has been set aside for prayer. I had hoped, that on this journey, of restrictions being lifted. I had also hoped that I might have been able to write about how we would begin to open our buildings for worship again. I hope it will not be long before we can begin to meet again. Perhaps in this waiting time we can take a moment to look back but also begin to look forward. Perhaps we can pause and ask ourselves some questions before we rush into the future without thinking what we might have learnt or need to learn from this present experience. There are some things we need to accept; the journey of recovery will be slower than our journey into lockdown. Life is not going to be a quick return to the old normal, but rather a new living with the virus, certainly for the rest of this year and even perhaps through next year. Lockdown has been difficult for many but has also brought new insights, opportunities and priorities to the surface. As individuals and together as Church it might be good for us to
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contemplate, to reflect carefully on lessons learned and next steps. In the diocese we have been asked to look at this through a ‘lens’. It will not just be about opening our buildings, but what might the Church – that is God’s people, look like and be doing and praying for as we navigate together in this changed world. It centres around 4 principles, ‘follow daily’, ‘speak boldly’, ‘care deeply’ and ‘tread gently’. ‘follow daily’ is about what it means to follow Jesus and how do we grow in
faith. ‘speak boldly’, how do we share our faith in the ordinariness of life ‘care deeply’, how do we listen to our communities and respond to their
needs. ‘tread gently’, how do we strive to care for creation? In each of these we might ask ourselves some questions as we look back over the last months and forward to the future; what has been lost? What has stopped that we can let go of? What has stopped that we need to renew? What have we discovered that we need to respond to? What is positive and emerging that needs to be developed and resourced? For example, care deeply – as a church in Dalton we have hosted the food hub, working with members of our local community not primarily church people to support our community. This has been a good thing how do we continue to serve and work together in this way. Tread gently, many people have realised that in a world locked down creation can blossom and thrive, less air pollution, and in the main more concern for creation. How do we hold on to that and even support it in how we live out lives or work to ‘renew the life if the earth’?
God for all, you reached out to the world in your Son Jesus Christ. Help us to reach out in faith and love and witness to all.
God for all, you send your Holy Spirit to empower and gift your Church.
By your Spirit help us grow in unity, grow as followers of Jesus Christ,
and grow in your kingdom in Cumbria and in this world.
Amen
Ruth
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New Archbishop of York to be confirmed Bishop Stephen Geoffrey Cottrell will be confirmed as the 98th Archbishop of York this month. The service, at 11am on Thursday 9th July, will be broadcast entirely via video conference due to the Coronavirus restrictions. The service, which had been due to take place in York Minster, will be in two parts. A legal ceremony with readings, prayers and music, will be followed by a film marking the start of Bishop Stephen’s ministry as Archbishop of York. The service will be available on the Church of England website. Arrangements for Bishop Stephen’s enthronement service will be announced later in the year.
‘Safe spaces’ in Boots Boots has become one of the first high street stores to create ‘safe spaces’ to help victims of domestic abuse who need help during the coronavirus lockdown. The pharmacy chain, which is the biggest retailer of its kind in the UK, has opened consultation rooms in its 2,400 high street stores. People who have been unable to seek help while trapped at home with an abu-sive partner can access these ‘safe space’ rooms. There they will find posters provid-ing the phone numbers of the key support services, as well as help-lines whom they can call without fear of their abuser eavesdropping on them.
Peace be with you (Jn 20:24-31, 14:5,11:16)
Through absence,
Through doubt, Through questions
And fears, Through locked doors
And longing Jesus comes.
His risen presence Bringing blessing, Hope and healing,
Restoration And His precious,
Faith-affirming Gift of peace.
By Daphne Kitching
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The deadline for the SEPTEMBER issue of NEW LIFE is
FRIDAY AUGUST 7TH
THEME ‘Church Roles & Responsibilities ~ Outreach’
Coronavirus: For the first time in history, we can help save the hu-man race by lying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not mess this one up!
Beware As you prepare for the school holi-days, remember this: children are natural mimics. They act like us in spite of all our attempts to teach them good manners.
Church website - www.daltonparish.co.uk
Facebook -
St. Mary’s Church, Dalton-in-Furness @daltonstmary
Twitter -
twitter.com/St Mary’s Dalton @daltonstmary
What’s on in Dalton Parish @What’sDalton
Religious Exam answers .In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so
he took the Sabbath off.
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PUBLIC INFORMATION Criminals are exploiting the COVID-19 pandemic to try and get their hands on your money and personal information. To date, Action Fraud has received reports from 2,378 victims of Coronavirus-related scams, with the total losses reaching over £7 million. How you can protect yourself from Coronavirus-related scams: There are some simple steps you can take that will protect you from the most common Coronavirus-related scams. Here’s what need to do: 1 - Watch out for scam messages Your bank, or other official organisations, won’t ask you to share personal information over email or text. If you receive an email you’re not quite sure about, forward it to the Suspicious Email Reporting Service (SERS): [email protected] 2 - Shopping online If you're making a purchase from a company or person you don't know and trust, carry out some research first, for example, by checking to
see if others have used the site and what their experience was. If you decide to go ahead with the purchase, use a credit card if you have one, other payment providers may not provide the same protection. 3 - Unsolicited calls and browser pop-ups offering tech support Never install any software, or grant remote access to your computer, as a result of a cold call. Remember, legitimate organisations would never contact you out of the blue to ask for financial details such as your PIN or full banking password. NHS Test and Trace scams: The NHS Test and Trace service plays an important role in the fight against coronavirus and it’s vital the public have confidence and trust in the service. However, we understand the concerns people have about the opportunity for criminals to commit scams. What you need to know: Contact tracers will only call you from the number 0300 013 5000. Anyone who does not wish to talk over the phone can request the NHS Test and Trace service to send an email or text instead, inviting them to log into the web-based service. All text or emails sent by NHS Test and Trace will ask people to sign into the contact tracing website and will provide you with a unique reference number.
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Religious Exam answers .Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of
Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
We would advise people to type the web address https://contact-tracing.phe.gov.uk directly into their browser, followed by the unique reference number given to you, rather than clicking on any link provided in the message. The NHS Test and Trace service will never:
• ask you to dial a premium rate number to speak to them (for example, those starting 09 or 087)
• ask you to make any form of payment or purchase a product or any kind
• ask for any details about your bank account
• ask for your social media identities or login details, or those of your contacts
• ask you for any passwords or PINs, or ask you to set up any passwords or PINs over the phone
• ask you to download any software to your PC or ask you to hand over control of your PC, smartphone or tablet to anyone else
• ask you to access any website that does not belong to the government or NHS If you think you have been a victim of fraud, please report it to Action Fraud at https://www.actionfraud.police.uk or by calling 0300 123 2040. If you live in Scotland, please report directly to Police Scotland by calling 101.
On Governments and tax The easiest way to figure the cost of living is to take your income and add 20 percent. The political pot never boils much. The old applesauce is only warmed over. A politician is a person who urges you to vote for him, and then sends you a bill for doing it. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried -- but they wanted cash.
Why Jesus walked on water A tourist, planning a trip to the Ho-ly Land, was aghast when he found it would cost £50 an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee. "Goodness,” he objected to the travel agent. “In England it would not have been more than £20.” "That might be true," said the trav-el agent, "but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord Himself walked." "Well, at £50 an hour for a boat," said the tourist, “it's no wonder He walked."
Lesson All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Incomplete I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
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Religious Exam answers Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
Local is back! Odd things have been happening to my world in these past weeks of lockdown. It’s got bigger. I’ve been speaking regularly via the web with friends in Australia and the United States. Worshippers from Canada and South Africa are taking part in our online church services. Other churches are telling the same stories, with increasing numbers of people logging on. It’s got smaller. Even with the relax-ation of regulations, many people are still working from home, home-schooling and mostly exercising within walking or cycling distance from where they live. It’s got faster. Arrangements for a funeral in my family were speeded up, with registration and funeral planning carried out over the phone. A doctor’s appointment by telephone significantly cut down waiting time. It’s got slower. Shopping takes longer with queues that people would have complained about before the lockdown. The shops have done a great job to keep the shelves stocked and maintain social distancing. I’ve been thinking about what the long-term impact of the Covid-19 lockdown might be. One of the key outcomes is that local is back.
For decades, we’ve been hearing about globalization, and how the world is a much more connected place. It is, and the internet has kept many vital businesses running these past weeks. But we’ve also come to value what’s on our doorstep and in our local streets. Neighbours have become more important. We’re valuing local shops, pubs and restaurants, parks and open spaces. All the people working hard to keep local services going. Christianity is now a major global religion, with billions of followers around the world. But it began local. It began with Jesus Christ, travelling by foot, preaching and healing around a small area of the middle east. From its local roots, the faith spread around the world. Today, churches around the world are deeply rooted in their local communities and are seeking to follow Christ’s example of love and caring. Each of us is rooted into our family, into our key relationships and into where we live. During this pandemic, each of these has grown in importance.
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The sermon A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mummy, if we give him some money now, will he let us go?” Warning A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her father donning his dinner jacket, she objected. “Oh Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.” Bemused, her father asked why not. The little girl explained: “Because you know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.”
Family Bible surprise A little boy was fascinated as he fingered through the pages of the old family Bible. Suddenly, an old leaf that had been pressed between the pages fluttered out. “Mum, come quick!” he cried. “I think I just found Adam's underwear!”
Funeral While walking through the churchyard one day, our minister came across his six-year-old son burying a dead sparrow. With sonorous dignity the son was using the prayer that he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.”
The Coronavirus, Church & You Survey You are invited to take part in this national survey…details below We have developed a survey over the last few weeks in discussion with bishops, clergy and lay people which we hope will enable you to record your experience of the pan-demic, the ministry you have given or received, and what you think will happen to churches in a post-pandemic world. This is an online survey, which we estimate it will take you about 20-30 minutes to complete. The survey can be completed on mobile phones, though it is more quickly completed on devices with larger screens such as tablets or computers. You can access using the following link: https://tinyurl.com/ycsq9fy2 Please forward this link to any churches or churchgoers you feel might want to take part in the survey and support this research. We should have some initial results within a few weeks and will make these available as widely as we can. The Revd Professor Andrew Village, York St John University [email protected] The Revd Canon Professor Leslie J. Francis, Visiting Professor York St John Uni-versity
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Coronavirus and our young people A recent survey by the Prince’s Trust has found increased levels of anxiety among young people because of the crisis. Half of them say that finding a job now felt ‘impossible’. Seven out of ten young people reported feeling that their life is “on hold”, and a third feel that every-thing they have worked for was now “going to waste”. Jonathan Townsend, UK chief executive of the Prince’s Trust, says: “An alarming proportion of young people are feeling increased levels of anxiety, and fears are building about their future. We cannot allow this crisis to cripple the aspirations and prospects of our nation’s young people.” Over-65s go shopping online When you can’t go out, go shopping. That seems to be the decision of many people over 65. Record numbers of over-65s have signed up for online banking, according to recent data from Halifax. And they are now shopping online twice as much as a year ago, after being forced to stay home during lockdown. Overall, the proportion of transactions being made online by those over the age of 65 has doubled, climbing from 20 per cent to 40 per cent.
Good tips to help you avoid the virus If you receive a package in the post, it is a good idea to leave it alone for 72 hours before opening it, in order to reduce the risk of infection. That is just one of a number of tips which the website www.germdefence.org is offering to anyone who wants to reduce their risk of infection transmission. Germdefence.org is run by researchers from the universities of Bath, Bristol and Southampton, who are working closely with Public Health England. Your garden is good for you Spending time in your garden will do your wellbeing as much good as if you were living in a wealthy neighbourhood. So says a recent study by the University of Exeter and the Royal Horticultural Society (RHS). It has found that 71 per cent of people who used their garden went on to report good general health, as compared to 61 per cent who did not use their outdoor space. A similar difference in wellbeing was seen between the highest and lowest income groups. The study also found that those of us who love our gardens are far more likely to have greater levels of physical activity and much higher psychological wellbeing.
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Coronavirus and local churches ‘Going to church’ is not what it used to be. With our church build-ings closed, many of us now ‘go’ to services transmitted via YouTube or other social media. They last only about 45 minutes, half the length of a normal Sunday church service. Some churches also transmit a daily prayer slot, or provide a children’s programme on line once or twice a week. All such seem to be popular and attract those who may well not have visited the relevant church for years! So – what are the positives in all this? For there are some! Many non-regular church people watching. It would seem that many people in isolation are watching these streamed services at home, many more than usually attend the church in question. Many churches are reporting increases from viewing of 20%, 50% or even 100%. Advantages of social media view-ing. It is easier to ‘attend’, especial-ly for the elderly or disabled, and you can have a cup of tea alongside you if you wish! Popularity of format. Some say they like the ‘personal’ approach with the preacher as he/she seems just a couple of feet away, which means the sermon is more likely to be lis-tened to! It’s usually shorter also. It may help bring calm to worried peo-ple. Some may be seeking answers from the Christian faith as to why
God has sent or allowed this world-wide plague. What about the negative aspects of online services? Middle-class and/or resource domi-nance. Many churchgoing people, particularly the elderly and less well-off, do not have a smart phone, a tablet or computer. Primacy within the preaching is not known. How far the Gospel is actu-ally being preached is unknown; how many people are coming to faith is unknown. Long-term impact uncertain. Online services cannot give the connected-ness of face-to-face interaction, though they may suggest a wider and simpler framework for the fu-ture. They cannot help loneliness to the same extent, nor can the minis-ter get to know people personally. One probable long-term implica-tion Helpful service supports faith im-age. Churches which are now serv-ing their local community, especially with meals, food banks, and other like services, are building an image of love and care. Finance for such is often being donated by the churches, and volunteers are com-ing forward. Those churches which do the most are likely to emerge the stronger, or at least more respected than they were.
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MOTHERS’ UNION Doris Committee Mothers’ Union is a Christian Worldwide organization with over 4 million members in 80 countries. Our members are not all mothers, or even all women. They are single, married, parents, grandparents, or young adults just beginning to express their social conscience. MU provides a network through which they can serve Christ in their own community—through prayer, financial support and actively working at the grassroots level in programmes that meet local needs. We aim to help people to understand Christ’s teaching on marriage and offer support to couples to help them build a strong family life. Our branch, led by Doris Hall, is committee run. We plan the programme together yearly. The meetings are open to anyone—visitors are always welcome. We start with a short service then go on to the speaker or activity. At the end we have refreshments and a chat. We also go out into the community to eat together a few times.. Projects that members take part in—we provide FGH with gowns for still born babies, hats for newborns, cross in pockets and emergency bags (through church). We knit balaclavas for the Seamen, fiddle muffs and blankets for those with dementia, and provide toiletries for women’s refuges. We also contribute funds towards larger projects in the Diocese. M.U. is not just about having cups of tea, making cakes or knitting, our branch is a friendly one offering support, fellowship, and friendship. We are always delighted to welcome new members for more information contact Doris on 462742 or contact any committee member.
FELLOWSHIP
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MEDITATION Alison The meditation group meets once a week to do Christian meditation. We are part of the world community for Christian meditation that was rediscovered by John Main, a Benedictine monk, and is now an international organisation with a centre in Bonnevaux France. It is also ecumenical and welcomes different people to join in. Our group starts at 2.15pm on a Monday. We say some opening prayers and listen to some teaching on meditation. This leads into a time of meditation. We use a prayer word called a mantra to help us to spend time in silence. We often listen to some Taizé music or a chant. Before leading into some intercession prayers before we say the grace and finish at about 3.30pm. This type of meditation is not a technique but a type of quiet prayer that goes right back to the Desert Fathers. Our group is part of a larger group of mediators in Cumbria. We organise quiet days, teaching days, Mystic days and weekend retreats each year. If you would like to try this type of prayer contact Alison MacMahon for further information on 343621.
FELLOWSHIP
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C of E has been ‘astonishingly present’ During the coronavirus crisis, the Church of England has been accused of “vacating the public square or of being absent.” So wrote Bishop Stephen Cottrell, Archbishop of York Designate, in a recent article for one of the national newspapers. But he goes on: “I simply do not recognise (this). The Church of England has been astonishingly present, albeit in many new and remarkable ways.” The Bishop then gave many examples of various local churches who have reacted with positive action during the crisis. Some have started food banks, helped refugees and asylum seekers, set up telephone prayer services, started zoom Bible groups, or organised children and youth events online. “These stories are being replicated up and down the country,” he continued. “Most astonishing of all, plenty of churches report very large numbers of people joining their streamed services. “Of course, we long for our church buildings to reopen. But when they do, it won’t be business as usual – partly because we are discovering new ways of serving our communities. “When we do return to the sacred, beautiful space of our church buildings, with all their vital and much-missed resonances of continuity, I believe the Church of
England will emerge from this stronger than it has been for a long while. Bishop Stephen Cottrell, Archbishop of York Designate, was writing in the Daily Telegraph on 12th May 2020.
The reasons for going to church Strange times we are living through. The future consequences of corona-virus are going to be challenging, to say the least. How will our churches fare when our buildings are allowed to re-open? One could say that the reasons for churchgoing can be put into three slots, ‘Culture’, ‘Faith’ and ‘Community’. Many churchgoers would probably recognise in them-selves elements of more than one. Culture is for those who feel com-fortable in church. They like the his-tory, the language, the buildings, the liturgy and the music, which have probably been a part of their lives since they were children. All hold comforting memories.
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Religious Exam answers .The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert afterwards, Moses went up to
mount cyanide to get the ten commandments..
Faith is a link with the meaning of life and its eternal promise, some-where to seek guidance through worship and sacrament, and on which to lean in times of trouble. A belief in the words of Jesus that they are not on their own, even if some-times it feels like it in this world. Community is for those who like coming to church or being associat-ed with it as a flying buttress (a phrase of Winston Churchill, who described himself as someone who supports the church from the out-side). They don't have to have a commitment to the faith of the Church but are sympathetic and don't mind being with those who do. It is likely that the ‘old normality’ will not be the ‘new normality’ and this provokes a few thoughts: * How many people, now out of the habit of regular community worship, will wish to return to it? * How many people on the periphery of church life, will come back to it, at least in the short term? * How many of those who have had a regular commitment to the church, for example by serving at the altar or in its refectories, singing in choirs, doing flowers, ringing bells and pol-ishing brasses will feel that this is a good time to make a break and do something different? As church people, we must consider where we go from here. The Church, everywhere in the infected
world, will need to know our an-swer to its call. To thrive, it needs us back.
Sit where you like Whilst serving as church usher, I was carrying out our tradition of es-corting parishioners to their seats before the service began. After I returned to the entrance of the sanctuary to escort the next party, I greeted two strangers and asked where they would like to sit. Look-ing confused, the young man smiled and said, "Non-smoking, please."
Toothy grin While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, par-ticularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely whispered, 'The tooth fairy will nev-er believe this!'
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On the perils of the Ladies’ Guild annual outing…
The Rectory, St James the Least of All My dear Nephew Darren And so once again we start the annual round of parish treats. While the bell-ringers prefer public houses, and the choirboys want fast food outlets, the Ladies’ Guild are centred on lavatories. The itinerary is unchangeable: Coach drive to coffee stop and lavatory. Coach drive to luncheon stop and lavatory. Coach drive to some arbitrary attraction – provided it has a tea shop and lav-atory. Coach trip home with a lavatory (stop en route). A sub-committee will have been hard at work for the previous six months de-ciding where to visit. The most disastrous course of action is to present the group with a choice; if two options are provided, they will attract almost equal numbers in favour, thus ensuring that half of the group will rejoice in saying throughout the day that the other option would have been preferable. When it comes to decision-making, Stalin had a lot going for him. My predecessor in this parish left me a terrible legacy; he always accompa-nied the Guild on their day out, thus obliging me to do the same. I do, howev-er, travel equipped with armaments. “The Times” crossword rules out any possibility of conversation for at least the first two hours. Three years ago, Mrs Phillips had the audacity to look over my shoulder and give me 12 across; she will not make that mistake again. A brief nap after these intellec-tual exertions, assuring those around me that I am meditating on the theme for next Sunday’s sermon, ensures a morning almost free from having to comment on the weather, other members of the party, or why I so rarely drop in on the Pram Service. The ideal destination is one where I have a clerical colleague, so while the ladies wander about, shop and analyse why I still wear the same suit I arrived in 30 years ago, we have an agreeable afternoon assassinating the charac-ters of bishops and archdeacons and bemoaning the standards of a new gen-eration of curates. After our different therapies, we all re-assemble at the coach for the return journey. Naturally, there is the traditional wait for those who have forgotten where the coach park is. As far as I am concerned, a deficit of less than 10% should be entirely acceptable. I can think of several husbands who may be rather thank-ful that their wives may not be back as soon as they had feared. Our ladies return, invigorated with the thought of all the bits of information
St James the Least
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Say it slow On a beautiful late summer's day, two American tourists were driving through Wales. They reached Llan-fairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch (yes, that place in Wales) and stopped for lunch. Still gazing in fascination at the place name on the sign outside, one of the tourists approached the wait-ress and said: "Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argu-ment for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slow-ly? “Sure,” the girl shrugged. She leaned over the counter and said: "Burrr-gurrr-king". Choice A father was standing at the edge of a cliff admiring the sea below, the sandwiches clutched in his hand. His son approached him and tugged at his coat. “Mum says it is not safe here,” the boy said, “and that you are either to come away, or else give me the sandwiches.”
about other members in the party that can be discreetly shared over the tele-phone, while I am exhausted from 12 hours of attempting to be polite. Mean-while the sub-committee gets a date in the diary for planning next year’s lava-torial sequence. Your loving uncle, Eustace
Religious Exam answers .The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Environmentally friendly transport While driving in the countryside, a family caught up to an old farmer and his horse-drawn cart. The farmer obviously had a sense of humour, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign: ‘Ecologically efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.’ Simplify A businessman was telling his friend about the worries plaguing him, de-claring: “They are beginning to smother me, dozens closing in from all sides.” “The thing to do,” consoled the friend, “is to simplify your problems. Lump together the related ones. That’s what I did, and now I have only three problems: nagging credi-tors, profitless business, and the fact that I’m broke.”
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MEETING THE CHALLENGE
Religious Exam answers .The seventh commandment is Thou shalt not admit adultery.
APRIL APRIL
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Open 0.00 Maintenance 80.00
Special Services 0.00 AltarReq/Vestments 0.00
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Interest 4.35 Grounds 705.00
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INCOME 3587.76 EXPENDITURE 7704.09
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Mitre A High Church bishop once found his mitre needed reversing during the service, having been replaced on his head back to front. A server realised his predicament and started to turn it round for the bishop. “Steady on there, lad,” said the bishop. “It doesn’t screw on, you know.”
Sea Sunday – 12th July Look around your home. How much of the contents in your cupboards, ward-robe, rooms, and even garage came to you over the seas, via the great mer-chant ships? What would your home be like without them? Yet when did you last give a thought to the people who bring them to you? It is a curious fact that seafarers are one of the most important, and yet invisible people groups in our society. We all of us depend on them to fill our homes and businesses with an endless variety of goods, and yet we never see them, never speak to them, and rarely even remember their existence. It suddenly makes Sea Sunday seem good sense: an annual opportunity to give thanks for the seafarers of the world, and to pray for their personal well-being. For going to sea is a lonely occupation. It separates families for months on end. It can sometimes be dangerous, and is always physically demanding work. So this month, on Sea Sunday, let’s pause and give thanks to God for the seafarers of the world. Let’s remember how their work so en-riches our lives. Let’s pray for them, for their families, and let’s support the organisations that offer them care and support through their chaplaincy work. In doing so, we will join with thousands of other Christians, from London to Lagos, Manila to Melbourne and Durban to Dunkerque, who each year re-member the seafarers who make our prosperity possible.
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Editor: Nigel Beeton writes: ‘In Acts 10:9-16 we read of how Peter went up on a roof to pray and, while do-ing so, was shown a vison of all kinds of food specifically banned in Leviticus. God, of course, was pre-paring Peter for ministry to the Gen-tiles, starting with Cornelius, but the lesson about God cutting through our prejudices is a very valuable one. I'm not sure if God uses sarcasm as depicted in verse three, but then He does use rather heavy irony, such as in his dealings with Job. Perhaps God needs to show me a vision of curbing my tendency to see the fun-ny side of things!’ Peter’s Vision By Nigel Beeton Peter knelt upon a roof – He’d gone up there to pray; He’d gone to seek his Father’s face In the middle of the day. He saw a sheet of dodgy food And heard an angel say, “I know you’re hungry, Peter, so Come, eat your fill today!” But Peter gazed with horror at This gift of food, divine; Filled with things he mustn’t eat Like birds, and prawns, and swine. “I can’t eat that!” he said to God, “Leviticus’ line: “I may not eat this kind of stuff “Not now, nor any time!”
This drew a sharp response from God, “Who do you think you are? “What food did you expect, perhaps “A bowl of caviar? “A champagne sorbet? Quails’ eggs? “And then a nice cigar? “No! Food that I’ve declared is good “You have no right to bar!” So help us Father, as we seek Your guidance from above; Our prejudices, fears, and sins - Those may you rid us of! But may your Holy Spirit come Upon us, like a dove That we may very clearly see The visions of your love. Editor: Nigel Beeton writes: ‘This year, we don't have a gardener to help us with our biggish garden. My shortfalls as a gardener are becom-ing all too apparent!’ A Garden Mystery By Nigel Beeton A garden is a mystery It makes me question ‘why?’ The plants I nurture with such care Just shrivel up and die? While seeds that I don’t know about All vigorously thrive And grow like fabled beanstalks From cracks within my drive!
Religious Exam answers When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the magna carta.
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Psalm 23 has been a source of strength for thousands of years. Many find it helpful today.
When we are isolated and alone, we remember God is with us; we place
our hands in his hands…
> The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
When we are tired and confused…
> He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still wa-
ters;
When we are worn out with worry…
> He restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake.
When we are sick and afraid and if we lose those we love…
> Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you
are with me; your rod and your staff - they comfort me.
When we face difficulties today and we hope for a better tomorrow…
> You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you
anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
In the face of trouble & difficulty of all kinds, we remember Jesus’ promise
of life beyond death…
> Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long. Bible verses used here are NRSV, the commentary is by the Rt Revd Dr Ste-ven Croft, Bishop of Oxford.
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New version of Apostles’ Creed When our church began live streaming its services, our minister was at first a bit nervous. Still, he kept his cool, and you would never have known he was struggling until he reached the Apostles’ Creed. Then he firmly announced that Jesus was..."confused by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary..." New style of prayer Our minister is still getting used to live streaming our church services. Last Sunday he invited us to join him digitally in prayer by saying firmly: "Let's bow our eyes and close our heads." Crazy? Our minister wanted the title of his next sermon to be posted ahead of time on the church website. He rang our church warden and said that the title was to be: ‘Are Ministers Crazy?’ Not hearing this as a question, the church warden dutifully posted: ‘Our Minister's Crazy.’ Seagull A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" "He died and went to heaven," the father replied. The boy thought a moment and then asked: "Why did God throw him back down?"
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The queue While waiting in a long queue early one morning for the supermarket to open for us ‘seniors’, I was sur-prised to see a young man saunter along and try to cut in at the front of the queue. A furious old lady waved her cane at him, and he quickly backed away. A moment later, the young man tried again. He managed to dodge the old lady, but then two old men started shouting at him. Again, the young man backed away. But he wasn’t giving up, and soon the young man approached the queue for the third time. By now, all of us pensioners were ready for him, an angry wall of opposition. The young man stood there for a moment, and then shrugged his shoulders. "If you people won't let me unlock the door, none of you will ever get in to shop." Distancing need to practice social-distancing - from my refrigerator. Expectant The rector of a church had just made the happy announcement that a member of the congregation was with child. Then he reminisced a bit: ‘As far as I know, there have been no pregnancies in this church for years - until I arrived!’
Religious Exam answers .The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still
and he obeyed him.
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Patterns in the Psalms – a colour-ing book SPCK, £9.99 This summer, if you have time on your hands, why not colour your way through the beautiful imagery of the Psalms? This book contains 30 illustrations with a corresponding verse, all de-signed to appeal to an adult market. The designs include animals, flow-ers, leaves, waves, stars and other patterns. Readers can enjoy the creativity and freedom of adding colour to these intricate designs, whilst scripture provides inspiration and reflection for each page. The Link-It-Up Bible By Bob Hartman, SPCK, £9.99 Highly visual and interactive, this book of more than 60 stories, high-lights the links between stories and draws attention to the wider themes of the Bible. With arrows zipping across the page, pull-out text boxes asking the reader questions and illustration elements bringing each story to life, this book sees the whole Bible linked up and connected to show the bigger story at work - and the God behind it all.
What effect will coronavirus have on society? The Office for National Statistics (ONS) has found that, following an initial period of great anxiety and confusion, now almost half the pop-ulation understands that life will not return to normal within the next six months. Other findings include: 75 per cent of us are “very worried” or “somewhat worried” about the effect that coronavirus is having on our lives now. Many parents have struggled with home schooling, with 33 per cent saying it has put a strain on family relationships. 41 per cent of us expect our finan-cial situation to get worse over the next 12 months. 41 per cent of us think that the well-being of our child or children is be-ing negatively affected. But it is not all bleak – a huge 57 per cent of us think that Britain will be more united in the future, and 67 per cent of us say that Britain will be kinder after coronavirus. That is good news!
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FOOD FOR THOUGHT….. Probably you all have your own recipes for that cooling summer drink! Is it alcoholic or not? We don’t only need food to be sustained, we need water as well. Most people reading this are not in a place where water is scarce. We turn on the tap and out it flows. How differently would be live if we needed to walk for miles to get water? Next time you take a drink how does it taste? How does it feel as you swallow it? Many of us who live in places of plentiful supply don’t drink enough water through the day, (me especially) and our bodies have to work harder than they would if they were well hydrated. We simply don’t attend to our body’s real needs. We often don’t attend to the needs of our souls, either. Jesus tells us that the water he gives will become a spring in our souls, gushing up to eternal life. May we, like the woman at the well, drink of this water always. What do you do on holiday? Planning your itinerary by Caroline Hodgson:- “Your sightseeing schedule might include the world’s great museums, galleries, historic buildings and churches, but why not include active, worshipping church communities in your itinerary? It’s a great idea to do a bit of internet research before you go away, to find out whether there is a church near where you are visiting, and what the service times are. For years Laura and Fiona have spent their holidays at their villa in the Algarve. A while ago they started attending the local church. It isn’t their usual denomination and, although their Portuguese has improved over time, in the early years they didn’t understand a single word of the liturgy. From the outset, however, they found it wonderful and enriching to soak up the atmosphere of worship and connect with a different Christian community. Now they have many good friends in the congregation, and say it feels like “church from church”.
Religious Exam answers David was a Hebrew King who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the
Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
Summer punch
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PARISH RECORDS
Graveside Funeral May 20th Edwina May HORNBY (91) June 23rd Brenda GRAY (83) Barrow Crematorium June 9th Gwennie ETHERIDGE (90) June 22nd Raymond SPENCER (71) Trevelyan Chapel June 18th Dorothy CORBETT (81)
Funerals
Religious Exam answers .Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
How do you live your Dash? I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on his coffin, from the begin-ning...to the end. He noted that first came his date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash be-tween those years. For that dash represents all the time that he spent alive on earth… and now only those who loved him know what that little line is worth. For it matters not, how much we own: the cars...the house...the cash, what matters is how we live and love, and how we spend our dash.
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SERVICES FOR THE MONTH Every Sunday at St. Mary’s: 9.30am Parish Communion Every Sunday at St. Peter’s: 11.15 am Parish Communion Every Wednesday at St. Mary’s: 10.30am Holy Communion 2nd Sunday of the Month 8am BCP Holy Communion Messy Church 2nd Sunday of the Month at 3pm
Centre Bookings: Sylvia Stoker (467173) Church Meditation Group: 2.15-4pm Lady Chapel Alison MacMahon (343621) Organisations meeting in The Centre: Mothers’ Union: Branch Leader: Mrs. Doris Hall (462742) Second Monday of the month at 7pm First Wednesday of the month at 2pm Sunday School: Sunday Morning 9.30—10.30am ‘Serendipity’: Monday from 9.30am—11.00am ‘Rhythm Time’ Friday from 9am—12 noon Dalton Local History Society: 1st Wednesday of Month 8pm Church Schools: St. Mary, Dalton Head: Lynda Woodburn (462729) St. Peter, Ireleth Head: Rachael McFarlane (462753) Other Organizations: Uniformed Groups: Rainbows, Brownies, Guides Contact: Mrs. Alison Wall (464559) Beavers, Cubs, Scouts, Explorer Scouts, Scout Network: Contact: Jane Thatcher GSL 1st Duddon (07557507418)
Vicar: Rev Canon Ruth Crossley The Vicarage, Market Place (462526) Email: [email protected] Contact: “Business Hour” for both churches—each MONDAY EVENING 5pm—6pm in St. Mary’s Church Centre (located behind St. Mary’s church) Phone: 462526 E-mail: [email protected] Curate: Rev Amiee Lynch (836332) Email: [email protected] Churchwardens: St. Mary’s: Mrs. Joan Milburn (828509) Mrs. Barbara Irwin (467470) St. Peter’s Mrs. Beverley Louw (07841380801) Church Council Officers: Secretary: Jackie Barnsfield (585452) Treasurer: Jacqueline Preston (464584) Stewardship: Mrs. Jill Corris (464349) Electoral Roll: Jennifer Tomlinson (468273) Verger: Mrs. Kathleen Churchman (466474) St. Mary Organist: Choir: Practice St. Peter Organist: Bell Ringers: Contact: Jacqueline Preston (464584) Practice - Tuesday from 7.30pm in the Tower Magazine: Editor: Barbara Irwin (467470) E-mail: [email protected]
