Classic Program Facilitator Handbook for Trauma...

CLASSIC PROGRAMSTARTER FACILITATOR HANDBOOK FOR HEALING GROUPS

FOR USE WITH THE BOOK

Healing the Wounds of Trauma:

How the Church Can Help

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

(Starter Handbook for Healing Groups)for use with Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help

Edited by Harriet Hill, Margaret Hill, Dana Ergenbright, and Peter EdmanMarch 2016

© 2015, 2016 American Bible Society

Full Handbook: ISBN 978-1-941448-23-6 — ABS Item 124515Starter Handbook: ISBN 978-1-941448-24-3 — ABS Item 124519

Thanks to: Pam Daams, Robin Downs, Bill & Lorraine Foute, Carol King, Diane Langberg, Margi McCombs, Pat Miersma, Phil Monroe, Hilary Warner, and Debbie Wolcott for invaluable contributions to this handbook.

Cover illustrations by Ian Dale

Trauma Healing Institute at American Bible [email protected]

101 North Independence Mall EastPhiladelphia PA 19106

The First Principle and Foundation

The goal of our life is to live with God forever.God, who loves us, gave us life.Our own response of love allows God’s life to flow into us without limit.

All the things in this world are gifts of God,presented to us so that we can know God more easilyand make a return of love more readily.

As a result, we appreciate and use all these gifts of Godinsofar as they help us develop as loving persons.But if any of these gifts become the center of our lives,they displace Godand so hinder our growth toward our goal.

In everyday life, then, we must hold ourselves in balance before all of these created gifts insofar as we have a choiceand are not bound by some obligation.We should not fix our desires on health or sickness,wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long life or a short one.For everything has the potential of calling forth in usa deeper response to our life in God.

Our only desire and our one choice should be this:I want and I choose what better leadsto God’s deepening his life in me.

The Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyolaparaphrased by David L. Fleming, S.J.

From Hearts on Fire: Praying with Jesuits, ed. Michael Harter, S.J., © 1993 Institute for Advanced Jesuit Studies, Boston College, Chestnut Hill, MA. Used by permission.

4 Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION & PROGRAM OVERVIEW . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7Program model 7Program materials 8Becoming a trauma healing facilitator 10

ORGANIZING A HEALING GROUP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11Content to cover 11The people involved 12Healing group logistics 12Materials 13Confidentiality 13

FACILITATING GROUPS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15Participatory learning 15Using visual aids well 18Managing group dynamics 18Practice facilitation exercise 20

THE LESSONS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

Welcome session 21

Lesson 1: If God loves us, why do we suffer? 22

Lesson 2: How can the wounds of our hearts be healed? 25

Lesson 3: What happens when someone is grieving? 31

Lesson 4: Helping children who have experienced bad things 34

Lesson 5: Helping someone who has been raped 36

Lesson 6: Ministering amidst HIV & AIDS 37

Lesson 6A: Domestic abuse 41

Lesson 6B: Suicide 42

Lesson 6C: Addictions 47

Lesson 7: Care for the caregiver 51

Lesson 8: Taking your pain to the cross 53

Lesson 9: How can we forgive others? 55

Lesson 10: Living as Christians in the midst of conflict 57

Lesson 11: Preparing for trouble 60

Lesson 11A: Helping people immediately after a disaster 62

Forgiveness ceremony 63

5

APPENDIX 1: MATERIALS FOR HEALING GROUPS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64Sample healing group participation certificate 64Authorization for testimonies & recordings 65Classic trauma healing group report 66Supplemental exercises 68


This book is dedicated to

TRAUMA HEALING FACILITATORS

around the world who are bringing

light into dark places,

healing to the brokenhearted,

and comfort to those who mourn.

They are “trees that the Lord himself has planted.” (Isaiah 61:3)

Introduction & Program Overview 7

Introduction & Program OverviewThis starter handbook is for facilitators to assist hurting people using Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help. This is the classic Bible-based trauma healing program for adults.

This diagram summarizes the process of trauma healing as experienced by participants.

When people experience suffering and loss, their hearts can be wounded. For these wounds to heal, people need to express their pain to someone who listens to them without causing further harm. They need to accept the pain of the loss and grieve so that those feelings are not buried alive inside them. They can express these feelings honestly to God in lament. Once identified and expressed, they can bring that pain to Christ, who died on the cross for sin and everything sin brought with it: death, pain, sickness, conflict, abuse, and so forth. As we experience Christ’s healing, we come to a place where we can begin to forgive those who have hurt us. We can begin to rebuild our lives and communities. We are better able to face suffering in the future.

PROGRAM MODEL

The Trauma Healing Institute program model usually uses the following stages:

• Convening Session: The goal is to give top leaders enough of an exposure to trauma healing so that they can decide if they want to integrate it into

Suffering

Forgiving

RebuildingGrieving

Lamenting

Bringing pain to the cross

Being heard

TRAUMA HEALING EXPERIENCE ARC

Resilience


their ministry. This provides a supportive environment for trauma healing programs. Also called an Awareness Session.

• Equipping Session: The goal is to equip facilitators. This is done through an initial equipping session where trainees learn basic biblical and men-tal health principles related to trauma care, explore their own trauma and bring it to Christ for healing, and learn to help others heal from trauma. They put what they learn into practice in two healing groups, and then do an advanced equipping session to complete their basic training.

• Healing Group: The goal is to help people with heart wounds to find heal-ing, engage with Scripture, and become more resilient. If some healing group participants decide they would like to go on and become facilitators, they can do the additional program lessons at an equipping session. In due course, they should learn to facilitate all of the lessons.

• Trauma Healing Mini: The goal is to respond to specific needs that arise. This may be one lesson, an exercise, or a part of a lesson—anything less than doing the core lessons. It meets an immediate need and may stimu-late interest in a healing group.

• Community of Practice: The goal is to bring together facilitators, mental health professionals, administrators, and advocates from organizations and churches that work with trauma survivors for networking, collabora-tion, professional development, encouragement, and prayer. This builds momentum for trauma healing in a country or area.

PROGRAM MATERIALS

Trauma healing materials are available for different audiences and purposes:

• Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help (American Bible Society, 2013; expanded edition, 2016). The classic program’s core book for adults. The Classic Program Facilitator Handbook provides additional help for leading sessions. (The first half of the full handbook is published separately as the Starter Handbook.)

• Scripture Companion Booklet: For those who are in a healing group but do not have a Bible, or for new readers who find a booklet easier to read than a Bible. This booklet contains the main ideas of each lesson and Scripture passages written out in full. Healing group participants can review what they have learned and meditate on the Scripture passages.

• Healing Hearts Club Story and Activity Book and Healing Children’s Wounds of Trauma: Facilitator Book. Trauma healing for children 8–13. The same ideas

Introduction & Program Overview 9

as in Healing the Wounds of Trauma, but communicated by means of stories, games, exercises, crafts, and activities.

• Story-based Trauma Healing: For use by live storytellers. The same ideas as Healing the Wounds of Trauma, communicated by means of Bible stories, current life stories, exercises, and memory verses put to song. Literacy is not required for facilitators or healing group members. A Story Book with discussion guide is available, as well as a facilitator handbook.

• Audio Trauma Healing. Professionally produced audio dramas with small group discussion and Scripture songs, for broadcasting on radio or other devices.

• Website: At TraumaHealingInstitute.org, you can access information on Trauma Healing worldwide, including upcoming events, promotional bro-chures in English, French, and Spanish, and more. A password-protected part of the site has additional materials available for download, including handbooks, additional lessons, convening session materials, tests, report forms, certificates, and a blog for facilitators. Facilitators and administra-tors can request a password on the website. Choose the “log in” menu link.

• Online Database: The trauma healing database (powered by TeamDesk) records information on facilitators, program activities, and translations. Facilitators and administrators can request a log-in by sending an e-mail to [email protected].

• Materials Development Handbook: Gives information on contextualizing the materials, translation, and licensing.

Trauma healing publications are available at your local Bible Society or through traumahealinginstitute.org.


BECOMING A TRAUMA HEALING FACILITATOR

REQUIRED COMPETENCIES

• Able to manage personal well-being.

• Able to work on a team.• Able to help traumatized

people (listening, confiden-tiality, and so on).

• Able to lead groups in a participatory way.

• Demonstrated understand-ing of the content.

Attend initial equipping session

Lead two healing groups doing at least the core lessons

(to get experience)

Attend advanced session (about 6–9 months after initial equipping)

Launch healing group ministry

Lead healing groups

Lead initial equipping sessions with other training facilitators

Certify apprentice facilitators

Lead advanced equipping sessions with a master

facilitator

Lead sessions with a master facilitator

possibly invited to become

APPRENTICE FACILITATOR

HEALING GROUP FACILITATOR

TRAINING FACILITATOR

MASTER FACILITATOR- IN-TRAINING

MASTER FACILITATOR

Lead advanced sessions

Certify healing group facilitators & training facilitators

Innovate, problem solve, contextualize, strategize

(expires in 24 months)

■ = certification

optional (with more experience)

send in reports

Organizing a Healing Group 11

Organizing a Healing Group

CONTENT TO COVER

A healing group needs to cover at least the core lessons (1, 2, 3, 8, and 9). Allow between ninety minutes and three hours per lesson. You can meet for several days in a row, like a retreat, or in once-a-week meetings spread out over several months.

The art expression exercise at the end of Lesson 2 and the lament exercise at the end of Lesson 3 are very helpful. Try to do them both. They can be done in a group meeting, or they can be explained in the group meeting, given as homework, and then discussed the following meeting.

Choose from among Lessons 4, 5, 6, 6A, 6B, 6C, and 7 according to the needs of your group and the time you have available. Within each lesson, pick the parts that fit best with your group and time available. You may not have time to cover everything.

Do Lesson 8 after you’ve done Lessons 1–3 and as many of the optional lessons (4–7) as you have chosen, so that participants have had an opportunity to reflect on the pain in their hearts. Do Lesson 9 after Lesson 8 because it is much easier for people to forgive those who have hurt them once their pain has begun to heal.

Choose from Lessons 10, 11, and 11A according to the needs of your group and the time you have available.

The Forgiveness ceremony provides individuals and groups with an opportunity to confess bitterness they have in their hearts and offenses they have committed against others, and receive forgiveness from God. It can be done as the final meeting of a healing group.

Each lesson starts with a story that depicts the problem the lesson addresses. These stories should be read aloud and discussed. The purpose of the stories is to get the participants thinking about the subject and sharing their ideas. You may need to adjust the story to your cultural context.

An important part of the healing process is for participants to share the trauma they have experienced. There are many opportunities for this throughout the lessons. They should share without accusing others or giving so many details that they upset others.

Take time to look up the Scripture references that are in the lessons and read them aloud. It is the Word of God that gives life and feeds people’s souls.


THE PEOPLE INVOLVED

Often facilitators like to work in teams of two, especially if more than one lesson will be covered at a time, but one facilitator can lead a small group of six to twelve people that meets for a few hours. If the group is larger than twelve, divide into smaller groups of around six for the discussions and exercises so that everyone has an opportunity to participate. Each small group should have a facilitator. If you have a healing group of six to eight participants, break into small groups of two or three from time to time.

A group should be made up of people who are able to discuss the topics together comfortably. This varies according to the culture, but if women cannot speak in the presence of men, or youth in the presence of elders, organize separate healing groups. People do not necessarily need to share the same kind of trauma to form a healing group. The effects of trauma and paths of healing are similar regardless of the source of the trauma.

HEALING GROUP LOGISTICS

Get authorization to hold healing groups from the appropriate leaders.

Participants can be personally invited to a healing group, or it can be announced publicly. A flier template is available on the Trauma Healing Institute website that can be customized to announce a healing group.

The group can meet in a home or a room at a church. Participants should be seated in a way that allows them to interact with each other: in a circle, or around a table. Singing together is helpful at a trauma healing session. The group can agree on whether or not refreshments are served and if so, how to do it.

Start and stop the sessions at the times agreed on. If some participants want to continue discussing beyond the time agreed on, close the meeting to allow people to leave. Then those who choose to stay can resume the discussion.

Be sure that all participants are able to understand the language(s) being used in the sessions. Interpretation may be necessary. Provide any written materials in the language(s) participants read.

Healing groups are part of a local ministry and should not require external funding, except possibly for the materials. In many cases, participants or local sources can cover the costs of at least the Scripture Companion Booklet.

Sometimes after people have participated in a healing group, they decide they would like to become facilitators. They can then attend a full equipping session, or have a certified facilitator lead them through a review of the Healing the Wounds lessons and cover the program logistics topics.

Organizing a Healing Group 13

Submit a “healing group” report when the trauma healing sessions are completed (see page 66). Groups may wish to continue on with other Bible study materials.

Testimonies of how God is healing people in your group can bring glory to God and encourage people who are supporting your ministry. If you would like to share people’s testimonies with others, ask them if they are willing to have their story shared. Never coerce people. If they’re willing to share, have them sign the individual authorization form . If possible, let them review the story before you share it with others and withdraw authorization if they wish. Their well-being is the first concern.

Also be sure to get permission for photos. Use the individual and/or group authorization form as needed (both on page 65).

MATERIALS

Participants at healing groups should have a copy of either the Healing the Wounds of Trauma book, or the Scripture Companion Booklet for Trauma Healing.

If group members do not know the same songs, provide a song sheet so everyone can sing together. A sample song sheet is downloadable.

Name tags may be useful if the group is large or the participants do not know each other.

Certificates of participation are appreciated in some contexts (p. 64, or downloadable).

Paper, markers, and pens are needed for the art expression exercise and writing laments. A flip chart is often helpful. Have facial tissues available.

A cross and matches are needed for the “Taking your pain to the cross” exercise. A rope (or something else that can be used to tie two people together) is needed for the lesson on forgiveness.

CONFIDENTIALITY

The Bible repeatedly warns against gossip and indicates that a trustworthy person keeps a secret. The process of trauma healing requires a safe space for people to work through the materials and their own experiences. As a condition of their participation, members of healing groups are asked not to share information about others in the group—you can tell your story to anyone you wish, but you can only tell someone else’s story with their permission.


The facilitator will also maintain confidentiality. There are certain situations, however, where it may be necessary for a facilitator to share information with others:

1. Abuse of a child. If, during the course of a healing group, a facilitator learns that a minor is being sexually or physically abused, he or she must report it immediately to the proper authorities (police, child abuse hotline) and later to the church or ministry leaders, if appropriate. In many places failure to report can result in legal consequences. Reporting requirements vary, so it is important for facilitators to learn the requirements in their area (in the U.S., see childwelfare.gov for information on federal and state guidelines).

The motivation for reporting is not simply to avoid legal consequences. The protection of those who are vulnerable, especially children, is at the heart of the Christian faith (Matt 18:6; Prov 31:8; Ps 82:3–4; Deut 24:17; Jas 1:27). Christians are to speak up for those who are being abused and to seek justice, not just do the legal minimum. Reporting abuse against children is always the best thing for the church and for victims, even if it seems to hurt more at first. If your church or ministry does not already have abuse prevention and reporting procedures, seek local expert help to craft such procedures.

2. Abuse of elders and people with disabilities. While reporting this kind of abuse to authorities is not required by law for a facilitator (in contrast to reporting child abuse), it is encouraged. (In the U.S., contact the National Adult Protective Services Association.)

3. Abuse of an adult. Facilitators are not required by law to report physical or sexual violence against an adult, and doing so could in fact harm the victim. Reporting must never be done without the victim’s permission and should never be coerced. All decisions should be for the purpose of safety and include the victim in the planning whenever possible.

4. Suicide. Facilitators and people who are not mental health professionals are not required by law to report suicidal people. However, they should consider safety measures (see Lesson 6B) and calling the police. (In the U.S., see the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.)

5. Homicide. If a facilitator learns of a participant’s intent to harm another person, the facilitator is at liberty to warn the intended victim and should strongly consider notifying the police.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-policies/statutes/manda/

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Facilitating Groups 15

Facilitating GroupsFacilitating groups well requires three things: participatory learning, using visual aids well, and managing group dynamics.

PARTICIPATORY LEARNING

Participatory learning is an essential part of the trauma healing process. It is more effective than traditional teaching methods, because people remember:

• 20 percent of what they hear• 30 percent of what they see• 70 percent of what they discuss with others• 80 percent of what they experience• 95 percent of what they teach others

Participatory learning is also a critical part of the healing process because it gives people the opportunity to interact and tell their stories.

If you say less, the participants will learn more. Participatory learning respects the knowledge and experience the group brings and allows people to interact personally with the ideas. Engaging the mind, emotions, and body all together makes for the best learning experience. Laughter also helps people learn. The more creative, the better—and people can be surprisingly creative.

Take the temperature of the group and adjust to keep energy flowing. Participatory learning means you give up some control as the leader and take risks, because you can’t predict what people will say. The risks are well worth it!

Look for the teachable moment: People may ask questions about something you plan to cover later. This is a teachable moment. Flex and deal with the question. You can throw it back to the group first and then add your own thoughts as necessary. People can also ask questions that are not related to the topic of the lesson. If they are topics that should be discussed, designate a flip chart paper or part of the board as a “refrigerator” where questions can be stored for a later time. Be sure to find a time to respond to these!

Create a safe space: Don’t force people to share, or shame them by disagreeing with them publicly. Discuss confidentiality (page 13). Use name tags.

Planning a lesson: Think first of how you will have the group participate, not what you will present. Say just enough to introduce the topic and ask discussion questions (or give instructions for an exercise). These questions (or instructions) need to be very clear and contribute to the direction of the lesson. The questions

None of us is as smart as all of us.


Topic 1

energy

discussion

exercises

practice

ASK

LISTEN

ADD

PARTICIPATIONNOT BUT

Topic 2

Topic 3

Topic 4

creativity

apply

synergy

Set topic and ask for discussion (no longer than 10 minutes)

Individually, in pairs, small groups, or large groups

Add anything from the lesson not already covered in the discussion

Feedback – On one question only or– Each group on a different

question or– One response from each group or– A few responses then move on

THE BASIC MODEL FOR PARTICIPATORY LEARNING


in the book have been carefully crafted. If you decide to use other questions, test them first.

For most discussions, have participants close their books. While they are discussing, look ahead and get ready for the next section.

After the group participation, always get some feedback to find out what the group already knows. Add anything from the book not already stated. Then transition to the next section of the lesson. See the diagram on page 16.

As much as possible, have the participants practice new skills—for example, the listening exercise, writing a lament, writing a letter to a loved one who has committed suicide, and so forth.

Allow time for them to apply what they have learned to their lives. There are opportunities for this throughout the lessons. You can also prepare a reflection sheet for the lessons you have covered. Give copies to the participants and allow time for them to fill it in at the end of the session or the end of the day.

TRAUMA HEALING REFLECTION What do you really want to remember and use from each topic?

1. If God loves us, why do we suffer?

2. How can the wounds of our heart be healed?

And so forth . . .

Time management is an art. Be realistic about how much you can do in the time allotted. Guide the group without giving the impression that you don’t have enough time. There is no need to say things like “We’re short on time so we’ll skip that.” Just skip those parts without comment. Less is more: don’t go into lecture mode. Keep it participatory and skip some of the content.


USING VISUAL AIDS WELL

Visual aids can be anything from writing on a flip chart to objects that help people remember what has been said.

When writing on flip charts:

• Only write the important things. If you write everything, what’s import-ant will no longer stand out. It also gets monotonous. Less is more.

• Write clearly and large enough so people can read it. People don’t benefit if they can’t tell what is written.

• Stand to one side of what you’re writing so people can see it.

• The discussion is the main activity. The writing should support the discus-sion, not steal the focus.

• If you have someone act as scribe for you, allow time for the scribe to write before moving on.

• If the small groups write their responses on flip chart paper, have them present their paper. It is not necessary to write it on the flip chart again.

Trauma healing is participatory and every group is different. We discourage the use of computer-driven presentations using PowerPoint or Keynote because they can keep you from responding to the unique dynamics of the group.

MANAGING GROUP DYNAMICS

The following table offers a list of problems that can arise in a group, along with ideas on how to deal with them.

Problem people Possible solutions

Talker: This person dominates groups by talking all the time.

“Let’s hear from someone else now.”

Sometimes people like this are not aware that they are dominating, and you may need to talk to them privately.


Problem people Possible solutions

Quiet: This person says nothing at all.

“What do you think about this question?”

Don’t force a quiet person to share if they don’t want to, but do try to make a space for them to do so if they wish.

Off-topic: This person can take any subject off course, in a different direction than the facilitator wishes.

Reel the conversation back in. Guide the group back to the question on the table. Use the “refrigerator” as necessary (see page 15).

Misinformed: This person gives wrong information.

Ask the group if anyone else would like to comment. Let the group correct itself, if possible, but do not let wrong ideas go uncorrected.

Overwhelmed: This person erupts in sobbing and tears, unable to contain emotions.

Find someone who can go with the person to a quiet place where they can talk.

Overwhelming: Someone may tell their story in such a graphic way it traumatizes others.

Before sharing begins, orient people to share their stories, but not to dwell on horrific parts as this may be upsetting to others.

Spiritual fixers: No matter the problem, this person has a Bible verse and advice. They minimize the pain of others, or try to fix everyone rather than listen.

Before the sharing begins, make it clear that the group is there to listen, not to fix or solve problems.

Offensive: Someone may be culturally inappropriate or disrespectful of other faith traditions.

Ensure that no one is marginalized. You may need to challenge someone privately for the good of the group.


PRACTICE FACILITATION EXERCISE

The practice facilitation exercise allows you to get experience facilitating in a safe environment and with feedback from others.

To prepare for the practice facilitation exercise, in small groups, select a section of the book that you have already covered in the training (excluding Lesson 8), and that you can present in ten minutes. Each person in your group should select a different section. Do not select the stories at the beginnings of the lessons. Assume that the group knows the story.

During your ten minutes, you will need to (1) present the topic and ask a question; (2) allow the group to participate and interact with each other; (3) listen to feedback from the group; and (4) add anything they have not covered. Use the diagram at right to structure your ten-minute session.

The following sections from the book are good for this amount of time: L1 section 2, L2 section 2, L3 section 3, L4 section 2, L5 section 4, L6 section 4–5.

Your facilitating skills will be assessed on a scale from 1–10, with 10 as excellent.

• Very Good (10–9 points): Communicates material from the book very clearly and accurately. Group participation organized very well. Responds very well to questions. Keeps the group functioning well. An enjoyable learning experience.

• Good (8–7 points): Communicates material from the book clearly and accu-rately. Group participation organized well. Responds well to questions. Some small issues in managing the group.

• Fair (6–5 points): Communicates material from the book accurately. Some group participation. Presentation or group participation not always well-planned or clear. Has some difficulty responding to questions and managing the group.

• Weak (4–3 points) Either preaches or lectures with very little or no group participation, or the presentation is confusing or inaccurate or focuses on material not in the book. Does not respond satisfactorily to questions. Not able to manage the group.

• Very Weak (2–1 point): Unable to communicate in a group. Unable to manage a group.

PRACTICE FACILITATION

EXERCISE

(10 MIN TOTAL)

Suggested breakdown:

Ask (2 min)

Participation (3 min)

Listen (3 min)

Add (2 min)

The Lessons 21

The LessonsAs you prepare to facilitate a lesson, study Healing the Wounds of Trauma for the content. The timetables in this section can help you plan your use of time. They also allow you to see the backbone of the lesson at a glance. In addition, you will find tips, time-savers, skits, and more gathered from the experience of facilitators who have taught these lessons around the world.

• The lessons (except Lesson 2) are designed for 90-minute sessions. If you have more time, adjust to your situation.

• Abbreviations: LG: In the large group (whole group). SG: In small groups.

• Have participants review each lesson after it has been presented, not before.

• Different versions of the Healing the Wounds of Trauma book have different stories. Adjust the names in this handbook to the edition you are using.

• If your edition of Healing the Wounds of Trauma does not include Lessons 6A, 6B, 6C, and 11A (the newer lessons), you can download them from the Trauma Healing Institute website.

WELCOME SESSION

Start with a welcome session. For healing groups that meet weekly, this may take a good part of the first meeting. For retreats, if people arrive the night before the session starts, hold a welcome meeting that evening, but keep it short if people are tired from travel. Participants who have not yet arrived can introduce themselves the next day. Or it may be necessary to take the first hour of the first day for this.

• Give out the name tags, if appropriate.

• “Getting to know you.” If people don’t already know each other, use a par-ticipatory activity to help them get acquainted. For example, find some-one you don’t know and be ready to tell the large group the name they want to be called during the workshop, their role, and one happy memory from childhood or something unusual about them that the group would not know.

• Discuss hopes and expectations for the group. Agree together on the dates and times of meetings, what will be covered, and outcomes. Use the “trauma healing experience arc” (page 7) if that is helpful. Give a brief overview of the way the time will be used without going into detail. The participants won’t remember a lot of details at this point. Keep it simple.

• Establish ground rules for confidentiality (page 13) and a safe environ-ment (see page 15). Healing groups are closed groups, which means that


visitors are not allowed and no new participants can join after the group begins. Participants should come to all sessions. If someone has to miss a session, they nother person can go over the material with them before the next meeting. Respect the group by turning off cell phones during sessions and not interrupting people.

• If appropriate, conclude with a song, Scripture reading, and prayer.

LESSON 1: IF GOD LOVES US, WHY DO WE SUFFER?

Learning objectives

By the end of this lesson, participants will be able to:

• Begin to make sense of their faith in God and their experience of suffering• Identify cultural beliefs about God and evaluate them in the light of Scripture • Identify false teaching about God that makes suffering more difficult• Explore problems with earthly fathers that keep us from experiencing the

love of our heavenly Father. • Begin to experience God’s love in the midst of suffering

Lesson 1 Section Sub points

1. Story (15 min) LG: Read story (5 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “What is the pastor feeling in his heart about God?” (5 min)

LG: Feedback (selective) (5 min)

2. God’s character (25 min)

LG: Intro: When we suffer, we try to make sense of our lives. Cultural beliefs may come to mind if our faith is being tested. (2 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “What does your culture tell you God is like, especially in times of suffering?” (6 min)

LG: Feedback: List qualities on the board in one column. (7 min)

SG: Hand out slips of paper with the verse references in Section 2 on them (Romans 8:35–39; 2 Peter 3:9; Psalm 34:18; Genesis 6:5–6; Matthew 9:35–36; 1 John 4:9–10). Have people read the verses out loud and discuss. (5 min)

The Lessons 23


LG: Write the feedback on the board in the second column. Compare the two lists. Emphasize that this is a tool to use whenever doubts about God’s love arise. (5 min)

3. The origin of suffering (5 min)

LG: We are quick to blame God when bad things happen, so discuss this question: “What do the Scriptures tell us about the origin of suffering in the world?” Get feedback. If any of the three main reasons in the book aren’t mentioned, add them. Point out that we often do not know exactly why we are suffering. For example, Job did not know why he was suffering. His friends thought they knew exactly why he was suffering, but they were wrong. (5 min)

4. God uses suffering (15 min)

Evil is evil, but there’s nothing God can’t redeem and he will always get the last word. We can’t explain why God allows us to suffer. Even if we could, it would not take away the pain. It can be helpful, however, to look back on our lives to see how God has used the suffering we’ve experienced in ways that have resulted in at least some good. In 2s:

1. How has God used suffering in your life?2. Think of a Scripture passage that relates to the way God

has used suffering in your life. (8 min)

LG: Get feedback on Question 2. Top it up with anything in the book that has not already been mentioned. Read or refer to at least some Scripture passages like 1 Peter 1:6–7, Genesis 50:18–20, and 2 Corinthians 1:3–5. (7 min)

5. Why is it difficult to believe? (25 min)

LG: Sections A to C: Ask each of these questions and get a response. Then read the Bible passage suggested and discuss how it addresses the issue.

What will we think if we are suffering and …

• We only hear about God’s anger and never about his love? (1 John 4:9–10)

• We are told that suffering means we haven’t done enough to please God? (Eph 2:8-9)

• We are told God promises prosperity for everyone who believes? (2 Cor 1:8–10)

• We neglect doing things that will help our faith grow strong? (2 Tim 3:14–17)

• The church does not speak out against evil? (Luke 4:18–19) (10 min)



LG: Explain the way a child’s experience with their father affects their experience of God’s love. (3 min)

In 2s: Discussion Question: Think about your own father. As a child, did you experience his love? How does your experience with your earthly father affect your experience with your heavenly Father? (8 min)

LG: Get selective feedback (4 min)

Closing exercise (5 min)

LG: Exercise: Experience God’s Love. Suggested song: “The steadfast love of the Lord.”

Tips

Some facilitators choose to cover Section 5, “Why is it difficult to believe?” before Section 4, “God uses suffering.” Choose the option that best suits your group.

Do Section 5A as a skit:

A person has just experienced trauma (for example, her son died after being seriously injured in a car accident). She is overwhelmed and decides to listen to Christian radio for encouragement. A radio pastor on the first station she finds says, “Do you have sin in your life? God knows—and he punishes sin! Repent before you fall into the hands of an angry God.” The woman says, “Oh, I must have sinned. That’s why this happened! God is angry with me. But what did I do? I don’t know what to confess!”

She decides to go to another station, where a radio pastor says, “Jesus said, ‘Fast and pray!’ How much have you prayed today? How much have you fasted this week? How much money have you given to the church? Redouble your efforts and God will be pleased with you. He will answer your prayers.” “Oh,” the woman says. “I have not done enough to please God. I should have prayed for two hours each morning, not just one. I should have fasted two days a week, not just one. And I should have found a way to give more money to the church. Then God would have blessed me. My son would not have died.”

She turns the dial once more and hears this: “Hallelujah! If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain—move to the sea, and it will be moved. Dear ones, do you have faith? Move that mountain in your life!” “Oh,” the woman says, “If only I had had more faith, my son would not have died. It’s all my fault!”

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Discuss the skit, bringing out the Scripture passages in Section 5.

Time-savers

• Section 4 is most familiar to people. If you have to skip something, skip this. Or, just get feedback from two or three people, summarize by saying that we know God uses suffering in our lives in many ways, and move on.

• Use the closing exercise as a devotional the next morning.

LESSON 2: HOW CAN THE WOUNDS

OF OUR HEARTS BE HEALED?

Prepare the listening skit below in advance. Observe the actors practice it and give feedback. It is much more effective if they can act out the skit rather than just reading it.

This lesson takes at least two hours. Allow for more than one period. Take time for the listening and art expression exercises.

We can be traumatized when we are overwhelmed with intense fear, helplessness, or horror in the face of death, serious injury, rape, or other forced sexual acts. We can also be traumatized secondarily, when we listen to someone else’s traumatic experience (Lesson 7), especially if it is a family member or close friend. Trauma leads to grief, as it involves loss of some sort. But we can experience grief without trauma (the slow death of an elderly parent, for example). Not all emotional pain is trauma, and not all problem behaviors are the result of trauma.

Learning objectives


• Define the concept of trauma as a “heart wound”• Identify behaviors that may indicate a heart wound in self and others • Give biblical support that shows God accepts our honest emotions• “Treat” heart wounds by listening to a person share their pain • “Treat” heart wounds by doing an art expression exercise• Manage strong feelings through a breathing exercise

TRAUMA/ HEART WOUND

• intense fear • helplessness • horror

GRIEF

Trauma always involves grief, but we can experience grief without trauma.



1. Story (20 min) LG: Read (4 min)

SG: Discussion Question 1: “Besides the loss of John’s arm, what else has he lost? What has Mary lost? What has their older son lost?” Assign each group to discuss one character: John, Mary, or the son (adjust to the characters in your story). (5 min)

LG: Feedback. List for John, Mary, son (security, beauty, economic ability, faith, health, sleep, happy home life, friends, job, etc.). The goal is that participants see how much was affected by this one event. (11 min)

2. Heart wound (26 min)

LG: Comparison with physical wound: Before the lesson starts, write out the physical wound column on the board or flip chart. Leave the heart wound column blank. Then have the group discover the similarities and differences. (10 min)

LG: Present the three main ways traumatized people behave: (3 min)

• reliving (like having a nightmare while awake or night-mares while sleeping)

• avoiding (places, people, and emotions—going numb, using drugs)

• being always on alert (panic, fear, angry outbursts; leads to physical illnesses and problems)

Option 1SG: Discussion Questions: “Now think about wounded people you know. Have you seen these behaviors? Explain.” (5 min)

Option 2

LG: Stand in a large circle. Ask: “If you know someone who has relived a trauma through nightmares or flashbacks, step into the circle.” Then ask: “If you know someone who has tried to avoid memories of trauma through alcohol, drugs, overworking, overeating, and so forth, step into the circle.” Finally, ask: “If you know someone who has been on alert all the time (jumpy, tense, overreacting, fast heartbeat, and so forth) after experiencing a traumatic event, step into the circle.” This exercise helps the group see that these behaviors are normal and widespread. (5 min)

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LG: Feedback (5 min)

LG: What makes some wounds of the heart more serious? (Section 2C) (3 min)

3. Bible on emotions (20 min)

SG: Assign the verses in this section (Matt 26:37–38; Matt 26:75; 1 Sam 1:10, 13–16; John 11:33–35; Jonah 4:1–3; Ps 55:4–6) to different groups. Have them discuss what the verse shows us about handling our emotions. (10 min)

LG: Have each group read or summarize their passage and their discussion (10 min)

4. Helping someone heal (55 min)

LG: Listening skit: Use the skit below to model both bad and good listening. Be sure the good listening skit is not giving advice! Have the group discuss what they observed. Bring out the goal of listening and what a good listener is like (Section 4A & 4B). (15 min)

LG: How can we listen? Explain the listening questions in Section 4C:

• Q1: “What happened?” establishes facts and timeline.• Q2: “How did you feel?” Healing takes place at

the level of emotions. Naming the emotions puts boundaries on vague feelings.

• Q3: “What was the hardest part for you?” Each person is different. We need to know the answer to this from them.

Bring out other points in this section. (5 min)

LG: Serious cases. Cover this material. Have people discuss what services are available in their area to get the additional support people need. You may want to research options in advance. (5 min)

In 2s: Listening exercise (end of Section 4) (20 min)

LG: Debrief listening exercise. (10 min)


Listening skit

Michael was in a bad car accident a week ago which left him with a broken arm and minor concussion, nearly killed his wife and child, and killed the driver of the other car. He has been able to go home from the hospital but is worried about his family. Although he has people to help him with meals, housework, and getting to and from the hospital for visits, he is feeling worse and worse. His pastor, Paul, has just stopped at the hospital to visit Michael’s wife and daughter. He finds Michael in the waiting area, pacing back and forth. (P = Pastor Paul; M = Michael)

Bad listeningP: (Rushed greeting) I came to see your family.

M: They’re sleeping just now, but I’m not doing so well.

P: Look at the positive: you survived! Thank God! (rushed)

M: But I’m feeling confused. Could we talk?

P: (distracted) I have a building committee meeting. Let’s talk as we walk to my car.

M: Okay (reluctantly). Now that my wife and daughter are okay, I’m feeling worse. I’m not sleeping and I’m avoiding cars and especially driving.

P: There’s no reason to be afraid. Forget it. Take control. God hasn’t given us a “spirit of fear.”

M: Oh no! Now I feel guilty about feeling afraid. And I feel angry. I know I should feel thankful, but . . .

P: Yes! You should be thankful. Being thankful will wipe away the negative feelings. This reminds me of when our church burned down. I decided to rejoice, and everything was fine.

M: I tried to but I can’t control the fear. (P’s phone rings)

P: (answers his phone and says) “I’m talking with Michael. He’s having a really hard time, but I’ll be there as soon as I can get away.”

M: I can see you’re busy, but what can I do about this fear?

P: Remember Romans 8:28. Be thankful. I’ll ask the church to pray for you.

M: Oh please no, don’t tell everyone!

P: Don’t worry—we’re a family. It’s all in the family. There’s no reason to be embarrassed. I’ve gotta run.

M: (dejected)

Good listeningP: Greeting. Came to see you.

M: Thanks! I’m not doing so well.

P: Do you want to talk? Let’s go somewhere private.

M: Okay.

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P: Tell me what happened. M. It’s a horrible scene in my head. We were going up a hill, a car came over

the hill into our lane, speeding. There was no time to react. I swerved and spun and ended up in a ditch upside down. I smelled gas. My wife and daughter were unconscious and bleeding. I got out and was screaming for my family. I managed to get them out from under the car. I was afraid the gas would explode.

P: It’s amazing you could think clearly. Were you in pain?

M: I don’t know. It was a blurry nightmare. I think I was in shock.

P: How did you feel? M: I was worried about our new suitcases. I know that sounds crazy.P: That’s not crazy. Maybe it kept you from being overwhelmed.

M: I hadn’t thought about it like that. P: Tell me more.

M: Well, first I was glad to have survived, but now I have bad thoughts and feelings. I’m confused. I felt so helpless and wanted to kill the driver. He died, but I wish I could have killed him myself. I shouldn’t feel this way.

P: I’d probably feel that way, too.

M: Really? Helpful to hear. I just don’t feel thankful, even though my family survived. I’m not sleeping well. I know cars are probably safe, but I’m afraid of them anyway. I’m feeling very angry for no reason. I should feel thankful my family is recovering, right?

P: Well, it’s normal to have all these feelings after what you’ve been through. What was the hardest thing for you?

M: The worst was seeing my daughter and wife injured.

P: Yeah. You said you felt helpless?

M: Totally. I’m a man, you know, and I couldn’t do anything.

P: What helped you cope so far?M: My family needs me.

P: Yeah. We love you too. We can talk again next week, okay?

M: Thanks. It really helps to talk about it. Do you want to see my family? They’re awake now.

P: Yes, let’s.


Bottles under water

If time allows, do this after the listening skit to demonstrate the effects of keeping our pain inside.

Find a space outdoors. Get a basin full of water and five or six empty water bottles. Each bottle represents a pain. Have everyone gather around and talk about the different pains as you put each bottle in the water. Try to hold all the bottles under water at the same time. This takes a lot of energy, in the same way that keeping pain inside takes a lot of energy. We are not able to pay attention to things like sermons, school, work, and so forth. Now let the bottles surface and say, “We need to let the pain out to heal.”

Tips

1. Use the breathing exercise as time allows—for example, at the end of the day or after a break. See page 68 if this is not in your edition of HWT.

2. Translating “trauma”: If participants will be ministering in languages other than the language of the session, take time to ensure that they all know how to say “trauma” in those languages. “Heart wound” works in many languages.

Read Psalm 109:22: “I am poor and needy; I am hurt to the depths of my heart.” Ask:

• How would you say this verse in your language? • How can you express the concept of trauma in your language?

Time-savers

Bring out how traumatized people behave from the story discussion. Top up anything missing from Section 2B in that discussion and skip that section later.

Art expression exercise

Take an hour to do the art expression exercise (Orientation: 5–10 min; Draw: 20–30 min; Share: 25 min; Debrief: 5 min). For the sharing time, form small groups of those who would like to share. Use the two questions at the end of Lesson 2. This can be a very powerful experience, so encourage everyone to keep silent so they do not disturb others. They may want to spread out to be alone while drawing.

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LESSON 3: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN

SOMEONE IS GRIEVING?

Learning objectives


• Accept the grieving process in their own lives and the lives of others• Respond appropriately to the different stages of the grieving process • Help people grieve well• Express pain to God through lament


1. Story (15 min) LG: Read the story aloud. (5 min)

SG: Discussion Question: What is the pastor feeling? What are some of the different ways people in the story behaved after losing a loved one? (5 min)


2. What is grieving? (5 min)

LG: Discussion Question: What kinds of losses can we grieve? Cover this section. (5 min)

3. How can we grieve? (40 min)

LG: Do the Grief journey exercise (p. 32). (25 min)

In 2s: Discussion Questions

1. Think of a loss you’ve experienced. How would you describe that time?

2. Did you loop back or get stuck along the way?3. Did you take the false bridge? (10 min)


4. What can make grieving more difficult? (5 min)

LG: Go over types of loss and cultural beliefs about weeping.



5. How can we help … ? (25 min)

LG: Job: read the summary aloud.

Discussion Question: “What things did Job’s comforters do or say that were helpful? What things did they do or say that were not helpful?” (5 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “When you have been mourning the loss of someone, what sort of helpful things have people done or said? What sort of unhelpful things have been done or said?” Have some groups discuss what was helpful, and others discuss what was unhelpful. (10 min)

LG: Feedback; add anything not mentioned from Section 5B. (10 min)

Grief journey exercise

Arrange with two people privately, ahead of time, to do the “false bridge” (below).

Divide the rest of the group into four parts by numbering off. Have them stand in groups, with one person holding the sign for their “village” (or “camp”): Village of Denial and Anger, Village of No Hope, and Village of New Beginnings. (Alternatively, if you have too many people, have just one person hold each sign and four volunteers move through the villages.)

With the fourth group, go to each village one by one. Ask the people in that village how a person feels at that stage in the grief process. Top up their responses with anything they don’t say from the list below. Explain that the behavior is normal in each village as a person goes from crisis to recovery.

Village 1: Denial and Anger (1 month or longer)

• numb• not aware of what is happening around them • can’t believe the person has died or the event happened• may suddenly start to cry or erupt in anger• may be angry with God • may be angry with a person who has died, for leaving them alone• may feel, “If only I had done this or that, the person wouldn’t have died”

or “I wish I had . . .”• may feel, “Why did this happen to me?”• may find someone to blame for the death

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• may take revenge, which results in conflict and more pain• may refuse to believe the person is really dead, or may think they’re still there• may hear or see the dead person

Right after a loss, denial and anger are natural and can actually be helpful in some ways. Denial allows us to absorb the loss little by little and keep us from being overwhelmed by it. Anger can be a way of fighting against the loss when we feel helpless. It can give us energy and keep us from being overwhelmed.

Village 2: No Hope (6–15 months)

• feel sad and hopeless• hard to organize their lives• continue to look for the dead person to come back• may feel lonely, neglected• may want to kill themselves• may feel guilty even if no reason to

Village 2 is the darkest place in the grieving process. People don’t expect anything good to follow.

Village 3: New Beginnings

• think about moving on to a new life• ready to go out with friends and have fun• may consider remarrying if spouse died, or having another child if a child died• will be changed by the loss; may be stronger.

In Village 3, people increasingly accept the loss and their new identity. What is “normal” now is different than what was normal before the loss—a “new normal.” They may be more aware of what really matters in life, and may be more tender.

Taking the journey

Have Group 4 make up a crisis event they pretend they have experienced (death of a loved one by car accident, for example). They go on the grief journey. They act out the behavior of each village and then move on to the next village. But one person gets stuck in each village. Another returns from Village 2 to Village 1 (or Village 3 to Village 2)—for example, at the anniversary of the death. That person stays there a while and then goes back to Village 2. Explain that this is a normal, healthy response to grief. What is not normal is to stay in Village 1 or 2 for a very long time.

The false bridge

Show the “false bridge” with the two people set aside for this. Have one of them make up another loss. The other counsels him/her, explaining that there’s no need to go through Village 1 or Village 2, but that they should have faith in the promises


of God, rejoice, get busy, and so forth. The person is torn between their feelings and the counsel, but eventually goes with the false counselor directly from the crisis to Village 3—but on the way he/she falls down. Explain that the problem with the false bridge is that it does not work.

Laments

Allow one hour to do laments. Give the orientation to laments found at the end of Lesson 3. Bring out that the only part that must be present in a lament is the complaint. (15 min)

Give participants at least 20 minutes to compose their lament. You may wish to play quiet instrumental music in the background. Then give people an opportunity to share their lament in their small groups and/or in the large group. (25 min)

LESSON 4: HELPING CHILDREN WHO

HAVE EXPERIENCED BAD THINGS

Remember: This lesson is about children who have been traumatized, not just about normal parenting.

Learning objectives


• Identify when problem behaviors in children are due to trauma and loss• Respond to children in ways that help them express their pain in words, in

play, in art• Respond to children according to the Bible; if necessary, challenge the way

the culture responds to children


1. Story (20 min) LG: Read (5 min)

SG: Discussion Questions 1 & 3: “How did Kasi behave before, during, and after the attack?” and “How do adults usually react to children like Kasi? Do you think these reactions are helpful?”(7 min)

LG: Feedback: Get a few responses for each question and move on. (8 min)

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2. Children’s behavior when traumatized (25 min)

SG: Divide into three groups. Give each group a piece of flip chart paper and a marker. One group lists how emotions are affected; the second group lists how children’s bodies are affected; the third lists how behavior is affected. Don’t worry if there is overlap between these categories. Use the child in the story as a reference point. (10 min)

LG: Feedback: Get responses from each group. Top up with any missing items from Section 2. (15 min)

Option: See the tip below for this section.

3. How can we help traumatized children (40 min)

LG: Cover points A through D briefly. Give examples, if possible. Note: It may not be helpful to reunite the family in cases of domestic abuse. (10 min)

SG: Do Discussion Questions 1 and 2: “Traditionally, do parents in your area listen to their children? Do they talk with them? If they do not, why not?” and “How do these practices and beliefs compare with Scripture? Read Mark 10:13–16 and Deuteronomy 6:4–9.” (10 min)

LG: Feedback. (10 min)

LG: E. Teenagers. Ask what the special needs of teenagers are; top up with info from this section. (5 min)

LG: F. Talking with teachers and G. Serious cases: Cover the points in these sections briefly. (5 min)

Tip

For feedback in section 2, draw the outline of a person on a flip chart. As you get feedback from the small groups, fill in the heart with emotions a child who has experienced bad things would feel, fill in the body with ways the child’s body might react when a child experiences bad things, and write behaviors outside of the body.

Time-saver

Leave out the section on child soldiers unless this is a local problem.


LESSON 5: HELPING SOMEONE

WHO HAS BEEN RAPED

If possible, before teaching this lesson, find out what medical and legal help is available for rape victims in the area.

Learning objectives


• Explain the way rape affects a person and their family members• Help people who have experienced rape heal from their trauma• Help communities accept and nurture children born of rape


1. Story: Ama or Tamar (20 min)

LG: Chose the story most appropriate for your situation and read it. (5 min)

SG: Ama: Discussion Question 1 & 2: “Why didn’t Ama tell anyone what happened to her?” and “How did she find healing?” Tamar: Discussion Question: “What effects did this rape have on Tamar? On Amnon? On the family?” (8 min)

LG: Feedback (selective) (7 min)

2. What is rape? (5 min)

LG: Ask the group to define rape. If needed, read the definition. (5 min)

3. The effects of rape (30 min)

SG: Divide into a men’s group and a women’s group. Option 1: Have the men discuss the effect of rape on women and women discuss the effect of rape on husbands and children. Option 2: Have each group discuss what they want to say to the other group about rape. (20 min)

LG: Feedback, listing the points on a flip chart. Top up with anything not mentioned in Section 3. (10 min)

4. Helping someone who has been raped (15 min)

LG: Discussion Question: Ask what medical and legal help or crisis hotlines are available in their areas for rape victims. If they don’t know, they can make a plan to find out. (5 min)

LG: Cover points B, C, D, and E briefly, reminding them about the listening exercise. (10 min)

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5. Children born out of rape (10 min)

LG: If you read the story of Ama, ask what happened to the baby. Ask what usually happens in their culture. Discuss changes the church needs to make. (10 min)


SG: Do this exercise. (8 min)

LG: Feedback (selective). (2 min)

Tips

1. Use both stories if you have time.

2. In most countries, caregivers are obliged by law to report any cases of abuse of a minor, and there are channels to do this. If not reported, the caregiver risks prison. Find out about the local situation. Also see page 14.

3. Do Section 4 as a radio program. Give each table group a different section. Have them read it and develop a two-minute radio drama of that section. Then have them line up and present the sections in order. Be careful about time!

Time-savers

1. If the group is engaged and interacting well, discuss the story in the large group only and move on.

2. Section 4B can be summarized.

3. Only include the section on helping the rapist if you have more than 1½ hours.

LESSON 6: MINISTERING AMIDST HIV & AIDS

Learning objectives


• Explain how a person is infected with HIV and how that can develop into AIDS• Identify beliefs and practices that contribute to the spread of HIV and find

ways to address them• Help youth to avoid contracting HIV• Help the church come alongside those affected by HIV and AIDS



Blood wars (15 min) LG: Act out the drama below, without prior preparation. (15 min)

2. Quiz (15 min) LG: Read out the questions in Section 2 and have people write down their answers. Then read the correct answers at the end of the lesson out loud. Emphasize that HIV is contracted by blood, fluids from sexual organs, and through mother’s milk. For fun, ask how many got all the answers correct, how many only missed one, and so on. (15 min)

1. Story (15 min) LG: Read the story. (5 min)

SG: Discussion Questions:1. “In your area, do people tell others if they know they

have HIV or AIDS? Why or why not?”2. “How do people in your community treat people with

HIV or AIDS?” (5 min)

LG: Short feedback. Top up as needed. (5 min)

3. False beliefs about AIDS (10 min)

LG: Ask what false beliefs people have about AIDS. Add any points from Section 3 not already mentioned that are relevant for the context. (10 min)

4. Practices that increase spread of AIDS (10 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “Are there practices in your area that increase the spread of HIV? What are they?” (5 min)

LG: Short feedback. (5 min)

5. Teaching about AIDS (15 min)

SG: Discussion Questions

“How do children learn about sex? Who teaches them? At what age does this take place?” (5 min)


LG: Discuss how the church can be active in this area. (5 min)

6. Church helping one with AIDS (10 min)

LG: Cover the five points in Section 6. Include the importance of ARVs if they are available in the area.

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Blood wars: an HIV and AIDS skit

Prepare signs people can pin to themselves or hang around their necks. The signs say: “HIV” (x2), “flu,” “malaria,” “pneumonia,” “diarrhea,” “blood soldier” (x2), and “ARV” (x2).

1. Designate a large space on the floor as the body of Didier. 2. Get two people to act as blood soldiers. They can pretend they are armed.3. Get two people to act as the HIV virus.4. Get others to act as the different illnesses: flu, malaria, pneumonia, diarrhea.

God has created us with blood soldiers to protect us. Didier has his blood soldiers in his body that will fight against sicknesses. Their job is to protect Didier from illnesses. They must prowl around looking for intruders.

1. The blood soldiers prowl around Didier’s body looking for any sickness that tries to enter.

2. Invite Flu to invade—he is quickly thrown out (do not be too violent). Ask Malaria to invade—he is thrown out after a short struggle.

everyone freeze.

Didier is doing fine and is able to defeat diseases using his blood soldiers.

Now Didier went and slept with a prostitute.

3. Two HIVs sneak in without the blood soldiers noticing and hide.

4. Flu returns—and is thrown out as quickly as happened earlier. Now have Malaria invade—he too is thrown out after a little struggle.

everyone freeze.

Didier does not realize he is ill. He is, however, infectious and can spread HIV to other people.

5. Now one HIV stands up and holds one of the blood soldiers so he cannot do anything.

6. Flu returns and there is a struggle. Pneumonia joins in. It takes a long struggle for the remaining blood soldier to throw them out.

7. The other HIV stands up and holds the remaining blood soldier. Flu, Pneumonia, Malaria, and Diarrhea invade Didier’s body. The blood soldiers are held down and Flu and all the other illnesses have a dance of victory around the body of Didier.

everyone freeze.

8. Didier now has AIDS. HIV, a tiny virus, has disabled his body’s ability to fight infection, so many other illnesses invade. AIDS is not one disease but a combination of diseases. Finally the person wastes away.


Now let us see what happens when ARV drugs are used.

9. Two ARVs now come into Didier’s body. They hold down HIV so now when Flu, Malaria, etc. invade the blood soldiers can throw them out.

everyone freeze.

Blood tests are important—the only way to be sure of recognizing HIV infection. ARVs are drugs that do not rid the body of HIV but control it. The medicine has to be taken life-long; if stopped the HIV will escape and will again cause trouble.

Tip

For the “blood wars” skit, note that in some contexts physical contact of men and women in public is not allowed. In these contexts, have either all men or all women playing the parts.

Clarification on mother-to-child transmission of HIV

1. Normally, the HIV virus does not pass through the placenta. But if the placenta is torn or bleeding, the mother’s blood containing HIV can get to the baby.

2. If a mother is HIV+ and not treated, the baby can get HIV by swallowing infected vaginal fluid during the birth process. The virus can also enter through the eyes or through cuts or sores in the skin.

3. Breast milk can be a problem if the baby is eating other food as well, because the food can cause cuts in the stomach lining and HIV can pass through these cuts. If the baby is only receiving breast milk, there is no danger of infection as the milk passes through the baby without damage to the stomach lining.

Time-savers

1. If most participants are already familiar with the facts about HIV/AIDS, select a few questions from the quiz rather than use all of them.

2. Section 4 can be skipped as it is partially covered in Section 3. Or, have some table groups discuss beliefs and other table groups discuss practices.

3. Skip the story. The “blood wars” skit and test provide a lot of interaction.

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LESSON 6A: DOMESTIC ABUSE

This lesson is hard to do in 90 minutes and often brings out a lot of emotion and discussion. If possible, allow more time.

Learning objectives


• Define and describe domestic abuse• Rethink cultural beliefs and practices about family relationships in light of

biblical principles• Help people trapped in abusive situations• Help abusers repent and take steps toward recovery

Lesson 6A Section Sub points


SG: Discussion Questions (have different tables discuss different questions): (5 min)

1. Why do you think Joe abused Ann? 2. Why do you think Ann stayed with Joe even though

he was violent and abusive?3. What helped Ann get out of this abusive situation? 4. How much is domestic abuse an issue in your family

or community?


2. What is domestic abuse? (18 min)

LG: Present this section (5 min)

LG: True and false exercise. (See 2016 edition for a variant on Question 3.) Go over the answers at the end of the lesson. If true and false tests are awkward in your context, find a culturally appropriate way to communicate this information. (13 min)

3. What does your culture and the Bible say about domestic abuse? (22 min)

SG: Discussion Questions 1 & 2: “What does your culture teach about domestic abuse?” Then: “Look up these verses and compare them with what your culture teaches about domestic abuse.” (Give each group one passage to discuss: 1 Pet 3:7; Gen 1:26–27; Eph 5:21–30; 1 Cor 13:4–7; Col 3:19; Eph 4:29–32). (5 min)




LG: Discussion Question 3: “Are there Scripture passages that people in your community use to justify domestic abuse?” List these passages and ask a small group to discuss them later (in context) and report back to the large group. (5 min)

4. Why does domestic abuse continue? (15 min)

SG: Have half the group discuss the first question and the other half the second. 1: “Summarize the reasons people abuse family members already stated, and add any others that come to mind.” 2: “Summarize the reasons people remain in abusive relationships already stated, and add any others that come to mind.” (7 min)

LG: Feedback & top up (8 min)

5. How can we help victims of domestic abuse? (15 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “How can victims of domestic abuse be helped?” (6 min)

LG: Feedback. Add: Help victims find out what services are available in their area and how to connect with them (phone number, location). (9 min)

6. How can we help abusers? (5 min)

LG: Summarize this section (5 min)

Closing exercise SG: Do this if you have more than a 90 minute session.

Time-saver

Skip section 4 if you have already covered this in the discussion of the story.

LESSON 6B: SUICIDE

There are differences between the 2016 edition of this lesson and earlier versions. The timetable below follows the 2016 edition. If you are using another edition, adjust the timetable as needed (or download the latest version from the website).

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Learning objectives


• Understand the causes and effects of suicide on everyone affected by it • Give examples of biblical characters who considered suicide and evaluate

their responses• Compare their culture’s understanding of and response to suicide with the

biblical record and mental health principles• Assess how seriously someone is considering suicide• Respond compassionately and helpfully to someone considering suicide• Help the loved ones of those who have committed suicide heal from the

trauma of the experience

Lesson 6B Section Sub points


SG: Discussion questions (7 min)

1. Why do you think the person committed suicide? Who was responsible?

2. What effect do you think the suicide had on the family?

3. How did the church help the family?


2. Why do people commit suicide? (8 min)

LG: Present content (3 min)

LG: Discuss and top up (5 min)

3. Desperate people in the Bible (15 min)

SG: Give each group a Scripture passage to look up. (5 min)


4. Warning signs (15 min) Do the skit (below) and discuss. (10 min)

LG: Discussion question: What warning signs have you noticed that a person may be considering suicide? (5 min)


Lesson 6B Section Sub points

5. How can we help people considering suicide? (13 min)

SG: Have some groups discuss Question 1 and others Question 2: (5 min)

1. If a person in your community is considering suicide, are the ways people treat him or her helpful?

2. How can we help people considering suicide?

LG: Feedback and top up. Add: Help the person connect with a suicide hotline or other support services. (8 min)

6. How can we help loved ones of someone who has committed suicide? (12 min)

LG: Have some groups discuss Question 1 and others Question 2. (5 min)

1. If someone in your community commits suicide, are the ways people treat his or her loved ones helpful or unhelpful?

2. How can you help the loved ones of someone who has committed suicide?

LG: Feedback and top up. (7 min)

Closing exercise (15 min) SG: Choose one of the two closing exercises.

Skit: Assessing the risk of suicide

Do this skit as part of Section 4 (“Warning signs”). Adjust it as needed.

• Use a common cause of suicide in the area, for example: a female university student becoming pregnant by her boyfriend, a teen failing an exam that is needed to continue their education, someone who has been sexually or phys-ically abused, a wife who was raped by a neighbor, a student bullied at school, a husband losing his job, a wife whose husband and children were killed.

• Talk about suicide in the way it is discussed in your culture. For example, in the United States, people can ask direct questions like, “Have you ever thought of killing yourself?” In other countries, it is more appropriate to ask, “Have you lost all hope?”

Introduction

While attending boarding school, Josephine suddenly began to have trouble with her studies. She started skipping class and staying in her room. When she came

The Lessons 45

to meals, she did not finish her food or talk to anyone. After a week, her friend Pauline visited her in her room. (P = Pauline; J = Josephine)

Bad listening

P: (Knock on the door, entering room) I came to see why you are so quiet. Things cannot be that bad.

J: Well, they are really bad. (Sigh)

P: Well, what are you going to do about it?

J: (Shrug of shoulders, head looking down) I don’t know.

P: You cannot stay here in your room all the time. Your grades will get bad.

J: They already are bad; I just am not able to concentrate.

P: I can help you with that. What do you want to study first?

J: (Shifting in her chair away from Pauline) I don’t know; I just feel awful.P: You probably just need some help with your studies. Let’s go and study

together. First though, let’s make sure we eat dinner.

J: (Sitting more slumped in chair) No, I don’t think so. It doesn’t seem worth it to try anymore. I feel like giving up.

P: (Becoming a little more dramatic, lifting her arms, standing up) You can’t say that Josephine. We have a God who cares for us and loves us. We need to hope in Him otherwise we are being weak in our faith. Let me pray for you.

J: (Has no choice but to let Pauline hold her hands to pray) Okay, though I don’t know if it will help. I have been praying and I have only felt worse. I do not have hope.

P: (Prays) Dear God, help Josephine know you care for her. Help her to feel better and to be obedient by focusing more on her school work. Amen. Feel better?

J: (Shrug of shoulders) I’m not sure.

P: (Gets up to leave) In the morning, with a good night sleep, I am sure you will feel better. See you in class tomorrow.

J: (Does not look up) Bye.

Good listening

P: (Knock on the door, entering room) Hello Josephine, I came to see why you are so quiet and have spent so much time alone in your room. Is there something wrong?

J: (Sigh, looks up a little) I just have not been feeling well.

P: (Sits down and looks at Josephine) What happened?

J: (Looking down) Well, I am not sure what to say.


P: It’s okay. Begin where you can. I am concerned about you.

J: Thank you, but I think I will be okay.

P: I’m not so sure. You have been so quiet and missing classes. This is not like you. Tell me what has happened.

J: It is hard to talk about.

P: What happened first?

J: (Looking up just briefly) Do you remember Dan?

P: Yes, he came to visit with the boys from the other boarding school nearby.

J: (Becomes more quiet, looks down)

P: Something happened during the visit with Dan?

J: (Nods her head yes, looks more sad)

P: Josephine, I can see that you are upset, you can talk to me.

J: (Shakes her head no) I don’t think that I can talk to anyone. It is all my fault. My father—you know he’s a pastor; he will never accept me. There is no hope for me.

Facilitator comment: At this point you may be tempted to try to learn more about what has happened. However, Josephine spoke of losing hope. As soon as someone begins to talk about losing hope, not being around anymore, trying to escape or ending their life, focus on assessing the risk for suicide, not on getting more details.

Not every one will say, “I have lost all hope” or “I want to end it all,” so if you notice a significant change in behavior, you can ask the person, “Have you lost all hope?”

P: What do you mean that there is no hope for you?

J: I think I would rather not be here anymore. My life is ruined.

P: What do you mean by ruined? Have you thought of ending your life?

J: (Sits quietly, nods her head yes) You don’t understand. My family will not accept me. I just found out I’m pregnant. There is no way out.

P: Have you thought about how you would end your life?

J: Yes.P: What have you planned?

Facilitator comment: Asking more specific questions helps you learn if the person’s thoughts about suicide have become more than just thoughts. If you learn that the thoughts also include a plan and a way to carry out that plan, there is greater risk for suicide.

J: I can overdose by taking pills.

P: Do you have the pills here in your room?

J: (Nod of the head, yes)

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P: Can you give them to me? Or can you show me where they are?

J: But, you don’t understand. What else can I do?

P: (Softly) Josephine, I want to help you figure out what else you can do. I will be here with you. Please show me where the pills are.

J: (Gets the pills and gives them to Pauline.)P: I would like to stay here with you tonight. Is that okay? I want to make

sure that you are safe.

J: (Nods her head) Yes.P: Together we will figure out what to do. Can you name one thing that

could help you to feel better?

J: Knowing that you care and that I am not alone helps.

P: I am here for you. After a good night’s sleep we can make a list of other things that we can do to help you feel better. We can also list other people who can help you. Maybe we can find a counselor. Would that be okay?

J: I think so. (Softly)

LESSON 6C: ADDICTIONS

This lesson is included because trauma can lead to addictions, and addictions often cause trauma.

Learning objectives


• Understand how people become and stay addicted• Help addicts find hope and healing in Scripture• Respond appropriately to an addict according to the stage they have

reached in wanting to recover • Help family members experience well-being, whether or not the addict

recovers

Lesson 6C Section Sub points


SG: Discussion Questions: “What was Martin’s problem? What effect did his problem have on Lilly? On Paul? List some things to which people can be addicted.” (5 min)



Lesson 6C Section Sub points

2. What is an addiction? (3 min)

LG: Present

3. Why do people become addicted? (12 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “Why do people become addicted? How does it happen?” (5 min)

LG: Feedback and top-up. Present the cycle of addiction. (7 min)

4. What does the Bible say about addictions? (17 min)

SG: Hand out slips with the Bible verses (Jas 1:13–15; Eph 4:22–24; Col 3:1–3; Rom 6:11–13; 2 Cor 10:4–5; 1 Cor 10:13) to each group for discussion. (5 min)


5. How can we help people who are addicted? (20 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “Why don’t addicts just stop?” (5 min)

LG: Feedback and top-up. (5 min)

LG: Use the role play below to help participants know how to respond to addicts at different stages. For Stage 3, add: Help them connect with a local addiction recovery support group. (10 min)

6. How can we help family members of addicts? (30 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “What have you found to be helpful for the family of an addict?” (5 min)

LG: Feedback and top-up (10 min)

SG: “Imagine you are living with an alcoholic like the man in the story.” Discuss these questions. (8 min)

1. What could you actually change? 2. How could you take care of yourself? 3. What things might you do, intending to help the

addict stop, that actually help him or her continue? (For example, covering up what is happening.)


Closing exercise SG: If time allows

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Skit: Addictions role-play

Note: The conversations below are a composite of helpful responses to different stages of recovery. Only rarely would a full conversation happen like this.

A = Addict. F = Friend

Stage 1: “I don’t really have a problem” (Not ready)

F: Hi Joe, how are you?

A: Fine. Everything is going okay.

F: Really? You look pretty worn out. I heard about the party this weekend.

A: That was great! I only remember some of it, but it was fun!

F: Joe, I’m concerned about you. It seems like you’ve been doing this every weekend for a while. I think …

A: (interrupting) No big deal. Things are fine. See you later?

F: Hear me out. I want you to know why I’m concerned about your drinking. I’m scared for how far it’s going—like when you black out. It’s also affecting your work and your family, and I know you care about them.

A: Really, there’s nothing to worry about. Bye!

Stage 2: “Maybe I do have a problem” (Getting ready)

F: Hey, Joe, how you doing?

A: Uh, okay, I guess.

F: What’s going on?

A: Nothing really. I mean, this morning I woke up in a strange place and I can’t remember what happened last night. I feel terrible today. It’s kind of scary.

F: Yes, that does sound frightening.

A: Maybe I need to slow down a bit. Maybe not drink for a little while.

F: It’ll be hard, but it sounds like a good idea. How do you think it would help?

A: Well, I wouldn’t be hung over every weekend, and I’d be able to get to work on time. I probably wouldn’t have so many fights at home.

F: That sounds really positive. And no more blackouts! Remember, I’m here for you. Give me a call anytime you’re tempted to drink.…

Stage 3: “I have a problem. I’m stopping” (Ready)F: Joe, how are things?

A: Not good. You know I told you I was thinking of slowing down on the drinking?


F: Yeah, I remember that.

A: Well, I’ve tried slowing down, but it’s not working. I’m out of control. I want to stop now and I need help.

F: Thanks for telling me. This sounds really heard, but I want to help. Lets’ go get coffee … Why do you think you started in the first place?

A: I don’t know. I was in high school, and my dad left my mom, and I was so angry, and then my friends, well, they drank pretty heavy.

F: So last week, what happened when you started drinking again? What was going on?

A: It was right after I had a fight with my wife. I was so angry I didn’t know what to do.

F: Huh. Maybe you drink when you’re angry and confused?

A: You know, that’s true.

F: A friend of mine, Sally, got over an addiction. She said that when the craving hit, she waited ten minutes and often it passed. Is there something good you can do when you start wanting a drink? I wonder if we could make a list.

A: Okay, well I could go running. Or take a walk. That usually makes me feel good. Or maybe, um, I could call you! I should skip television—all those beer ads!

F: That’s a good start! Maybe we can find a support group, too. Would you like to meet Sally?

A: Sure. Good idea. That might help.

Stage 4: “Oh no! I did it again!” (Falling back)F: (concerned) Hi Joe, are you doing okay?

A: I blew it! I was doing so well! Then last night I got in a fight with my wife. I was so upset that I went to the bar and got drunk. I can’t believe it.

F: Oh!

A: Yeah, and I had stopped drinking for five months! What am I going to do now?

F: You know, this is a normal part of recovery. It doesn’t mean it’s over. Today is the next step. Jesus still loves you and is walking with you on this journey. I am too!

Time-saver

Have half the group discuss Section 5 and half the group discuss Section 6 at the same time. Then come back and do feedback and top-up together.

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LESSON 7: CARE FOR THE CAREGIVER

Introduce the idea of “secondary trauma”—when we see or hear about someone else’s traumatic experience and begin to have some trauma symptoms ourselves (like reliving, avoiding, being on alert). It is not the same as being overloaded, but a person could be both overloaded and experiencing secondary trauma.

Learning objectives


• Understand the need to care for themselves, especially when helping trau-matized people

• Identify difficulties they face in caring for others• Assess how well they are caring for themselves• Illustrate the need for self-care from the Bible• Set goals for self-care


1. Story (10 min) LG: Read the story. Discussion Question: “Why do you think the pastor is having all these problems?” (5 min)

LG: Feedback: Bring out the fact that as well as his other problems, he is suffering from secondary trauma. (5 min)

2. How can we know when a caregiver is overloaded? (15 min)

LG: Discussion Question 1: “Do you know people who have become so overloaded helping others that they became very discouraged or sick? What do they say? How do they behave?”

Add more ideas people have. Top up with any ideas listed in the book not already mentioned. (5 min)

In 2s: Discussion Question 2: “Have you ever felt overloaded? Describe how you felt.” (5 min)

LG: Get a little feedback, but respect those who do not want to share. Ask if they know the signs that show they are overloaded. (5 min)

3. Why is it difficult to be a caregiver? (20 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “What difficulties have you experienced as you have cared for people?”(10 min)



LG: Feedback from the groups, then top up any more reasons from Section 3 that were not covered. (10 min)

4. How can caregivers care for themselves? (22 min)

LG: Show a large knife (with sharpening file if possible) and talk about how the tool is of no use if blunt. We need to take time to sharpen it. (5 min)

SG: Give each group one of these passages and discuss what it says about caring for ourselves: 1 Kgs 19:3–8 (rest, food); Mark 6:30–32 (retreat); Gal 6:2 (sharing with others); Exod 18:13–23 (delegate); Ps 1:1–3 (draw strength from God’s Word). (7 min)

LG: Get feedback and bring out the points in Sections 4A–4D. (7 min)

LG: Present Section 4E (Look after your body). (3 min)


In 2s: Discussion Question 2: “Describe your workload. How can you care for yourself and your family as you care for others?” Make sure each person identifies one practical step they can take in the coming week. Then pray for each other. (10 min)


Optional exercises Time permitting, lead the group through one or more of the supplemental exercises to help people relax and increase resilience: Breathing, Tree, or Container (page 68; also at the end of Lesson 2 and Lesson 7 of the HWT 2016 edition).

Tips

1. Start the lesson with this skit: Have someone play the role of an overloaded pastor who has too many people coming to him. His wife and children try to get his attention, and he has at least two cell phones that ring. Discuss how the person feels and why a person would get so overloaded.

2. Some editions of the book suggest using a machete. If machetes have been used as weapons of war, use another tool for the visual in Section 4.

3. Ask how many of the participants have taken a vacation in the last twelve months. Discuss how they can do so this year.

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4. As a closing exercise, do this role-play in twos: Have one person ask the other person to take on a new responsibility. The second person practices saying “no” in a clear, but culturally appropriate way.

LESSON 8: TAKING YOUR PAIN TO THE CROSS

The Healing the Wounds of Trauma book has detailed information on preparing for this exercise.

Learning objectives


• Identify their heart wounds and experience the benefit of sharing them with another person

• Understand that Christ died to bring us healing as well as forgiveness • Continue to bring any pain they experience to the cross of Christ• Help others bring their pain to the cross of Christ


1. Identify the wounds of your heart (50 min)

(1A) LG: Begin with a song or two. Then the facilitator explains what is going to happen. This helps people feel safe. Then talk of Christ taking our pain and suffering as well as our sins on the cross. Read the passages in Section 1 (Matt 8:16–17; Isa 53:3–4; Luke 4:18–19, 20–21). (10 min)

LG: Give out pieces of paper and explain that there will be some time for prayerful reflection. Each person can write down the worst pains that come to mind. No one will see the paper. Suggest everyone find a quiet place alone. Tell them you will call them back in 15 minutes. (2 min)

Time alone (18 min)

(1B) SG: Divide the participants into twos or threes, either letting people choose or assigning the groups. Be sure no one is left out! Have them share as much as they feel comfortable sharing and then pray for each other. (20 min)



2. Bring your wounds & pain to Jesus (25 min)

LG: Sing a song.

The leader reads Isaiah 53:4–6. (5 min)

LG: Invite everyone to bring their paper to the cross. It can either be nailed to the cross or put in a box at the foot of the cross. (10 min)

LG: Collect the papers and go outside (have a plan ready in case of rain). Gather in a large circle. Read Isaiah 61:1–3. Sing some worship songs during this time. Burn the papers in the middle while the group sings. Have someone offer a prayer of thanks to God. (10 min)

3. Sharing what God has done (10 min)

LG: After the papers are burned, invite people to share (briefly!) what God has done in them this week.

Finish with a closing prayer, a song (like “It is well with my soul”), and either the Lord’s Prayer or “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all” (Phil 4:23). (10 min)

Tips

1. Emphasize that the cross is used as a symbol of Christ. Occasionally participants from certain denominations find it hard to accept using a cross.

2. If the weather is damp, put a little kerosene under the papers so that they burn easily.

3. Some groups prefer to combine the Pain to the cross ceremony with the Forgiveness ceremony as the final activity before the group disbands. To do this, have participants divide their papers into three parts:

• Sins they want to ask God to forgive• Pain they want to bring to God • Bitterness they are holding against anyone.

For each part, read appropriate Scripture and give people time in silence to reflect and write.

The Lessons 55

LESSON 9: HOW CAN WE FORGIVE OTHERS?

Learning objectives


• Define real forgiveness in contrast to fake forgiveness• Explain how to forgive others—the process • Explain why we need to forgive others, especially as Christians• Explain the process of true repentance• Identify those they need to forgive or ask forgiveness of


1. Skits (10 min) LG: There are two ways of doing these skits.

1. Ask some participants beforehand to be prepared to act out the skits.

2. Divide the participants into three groups and give each group 5 minutes to prepare one of the skits. This will take an extra 5 minutes.

2. Forgiveness is not … (20 min)

SG: Using the skits as background, have half of the groups discuss what forgiveness is not, and the other half discuss what forgiveness is. (10 min)

LG: List the responses from the group on the flip chart. Top up as needed from Sections 2 & 3. (10 min)

3. How can we forgive others? (20 min)

LG: Cover A though D. Show the cycle of forgiveness on the board/flip chart. (10 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “How are the biblical ideas about forgiveness similar to our cultural ones? How are they different?” (5 min)

LG: Feedback. Get responses. Bring out that it is not wrong to use an intermediary if that fits best with the culture. Remember that more than one type of culture may be represented. (5 min)



4. Why does God want us to forgive others? (30 min)

LG: Do the rope skit below and bring out that when we don’t forgive, we are the ones who suffer. (7 min)

SG: Have each table group discuss one of these verses—Eph 4:26–27; 2 Cor 2:10–11; Heb 12:14–15; Matt 6:14–15; 1 John 4:10; Eph 4:32; Matt 18:21–35—and tell what it says about why we should forgive. (5 min)

LG: Get feedback. Top up with anything from sections A through C. Cover points D and E. (5 min)

SG: Choose one of the questions below: 1. What do you find the hardest thing about forgiving

someone? What has helped you the most to forgive others?

2. What traditions do you have that help you to forgive others? What traditions do you have that hinder you from forgiving? (8 min)

If you discuss the second question, get feedback. (5 min)

5. If we have caused the offense (5 min)

LG: Ask: “How can we repent?” Bring out from the group the points in Section 5A.

SG/LG: Optional: If time and context permit, discuss “How can the church help people repent?” and get feedback.

Closing (5 min) LG: Do this if you are not doing the forgiveness ceremony.

Rope skit

Get two volunteers of the same gender. One plays the part of Sam (or Samantha), who has been offended by his friend. Tie the two friends together back to back with a rope. Everywhere Sam goes, he drags his friend with him like a dead weight. This is exhausting and frustrating for him.

Now say:

• When Sam takes a walk, his friend is there. • When Sam eats supper, his friend is there. • When Sam tries to do his work, his friend is there.

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• When Sam prays, his friend is there.• When Sam tries to run away, his friend follows. • When Sam tries to hide, his friend is right there.

The actors follow the leader’s instructions above to show that no matter where Sam goes he cannot escape his thoughts and feelings about his friend. He cannot escape them until he forgives. Have Sam then forgive his friend, and as he does, release the rope. Forgiveness is a gift that we have received from God, and one that we should also pass along to others (Matt 18:22–35).

Alternative version: Use a very long rope or cord. Get volunteers to play the part of each person mentioned:

• John (or Joanna) won’t forgive his mother for something she did in his childhood. [Tie her to John.] He has carried her around since childhood.

• John had an argument with his boss last month and even though the boss said sorry, John won’t forgive him—so he joins the mother. [Tie the boss to John and the mother.]

• Add others until John is pulling around a large group of people.

Discuss the effects of having a habit of not forgiving others.

Tip

Church discipline can vary from being totally neglected to being enforced stringently for things that are not even sin (for example, excommunicating women who have been raped). Know the context before teaching the last section.

Time-savers

1. The final section about repentance is generally well known. It can be skipped, if necessary.

2. The closing exercise can be used as a morning devotional.

LESSON 10: LIVING AS CHRISTIANS

IN THE MIDST OF CONFLICT

This lesson is intended to help people live out their faith in the midst of group conflict. This can contribute to reconciliation, but political leaders need to be involved to solve national-level conflicts. Since the church is multiethnic and involves people from all social classes, hidden tensions can often surface in veiled ways even if there is no overt conflict. For example, in one church in the United States, a heated debate took place over what kind of turkey should be prepared for the church Christmas dinner. Three ethnic groups had different traditions.


Learning objectives


• Accept that conflict is a part of life, even in the church• Identify roots of conflict, especially prejudice• Live as a Christian with integrity in the midst of conflict• Serve as a bridge between sides of a conflict to bring reconciliation


1. Stories (30 min)LG: Do the skit on church conflict and read the summary of Acts 6. (10 min)

LG: Debrief the skit using the discussion questions: “What were the historical causes of the conflict in Acts 6:1–7? How did the church leaders keep the ethnic tensions from ruining the Church?” (3 min)

LG: Read the story of Liwi-Oki conflict aloud. (4 min)

SG: Discussion Questions 1. Why did Bozon and Jonah find it hard to accept that

the other one was a Christian?2. What are the other Liwis and Okis going to think and do

when they see Bozon and Jonah talking together? (7 min)


2. Causes of conflict (30 min)

LG: What are some conflicts between groups in your communities? Make a list. Then ask: What are the causes of these conflicts? Top up with anything relevant from Section 2 that was not mentioned. (10 min)

SG: Discussion Questions 1. What are the prejudices you have inherited about

another group? Can you think of any examples that would show these ideas are not true?

2. How do others describe your group? What examples might have led them to this view? (10 min)


(See the Group stereotype exercise below for a more participatory approach to these questions.)

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3. Living as Christians in the midst of conflict (15 min)

SG: Write the four headings of sections A–D on the board. Ask each small group to take one and find Bible verses that apply to that subject. (8 min)

LG: Feedback. Top up with other materials or verses from the book. (7 min)

4. Helping to bring reconciliation (15 min)

Option 1: LG: Do a skit showing true reconciliation, and another showing false reconciliation. Perform it for the large group. (10 min)

Option 2: SG: Discuss “How can we help bring reconciliation?” (10 min)

Option 3: SG: See Bridge exercise below.

LG: Debrief. Bring out the need for us to be a bridge between the groups in conflict; Christ is the one who heals divisions; the need to repent of the sins of our group; and the need to discuss problems openly and find solutions. (5 min)

Bridge exercise

This can be used as a more participatory way to do Section 4: Make an imaginary river in the middle of the room. A group is camped on each side of the river. They are in conflict. In small groups, have participants discuss how to build a bridge between the two groups, and then find something they can use as a symbol for this. Have them explain their symbol as they lay it over the river. Top up with anything in the book that has not been mentioned.

Group stereotype exercise

In the large group, write the staff’s ethnic group on a sheet of paper taped to the wall or flip chart. Ask the large group to think of some words, both positive and negative, that come to mind with they think of that ethnic group. Write these down. Accept these words without taking offense. Then ask for a volunteer to have their ethnic group go next. (5 min)

Then tape papers of four other well-known ethnic groups around the room. Divide the large group into four groups and have each group stand by one of the papers. Have them write three words that come to mind for that ethnic group. After two minutes, have all the groups move to the next paper and continue until all the groups have been to all the stations. (10 min)


Bring all the lists to the front. Read each list and have the group say if the words are negative or positive. Often most are negative. This shows how much prejudice is in our hearts. Put a giant X on each list and ask the group if they are willing to let go of these opinions for the sake of Christ. If we don’t give them up, they can fuel conflict along ethnic lines. (5 min)

LESSON 11: PREPARING FOR TROUBLE

Learning objectives


• Show from the Bible that it is wise to prepare for trouble• Help the community prepare physically for trouble• Help the community organize communication channels in case of crisis • Help the community prepare spiritually for trouble


1. Story (15 min) LG: Read the story (5 min)

SG: Discussion Questions 1. Is it right to prepare for future trouble? Can you

think of any Scriptures that say we should do this?2. What troubles might you need to prepare for in

your area? (5 min)


2. Why should we prepare? (10 min)

LG: Feedback: Bring out the points made in Section 2. (10 min)

3. Practical preparations (20 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “Imagine the following situation: Your family is told that within thirty minutes they must leave to run into the bush. They can only take what they can carry. Make a list of the most important items to take and share this with the whole group.”

Adjust the question as needed if “running into the bush” is not appropriate to the context. Keep the idea of fleeing without much notice, taking only what they can carry. (8 min)

The Lessons 61


LG: Feedback from SG discussion above. Ask each group to say one item that has not already been stated. List these on the board. Put less essential items in parenthesis. Discuss what the church needs to prepare—essential documents, etc. Discuss hiding things. (12 min)

4. Communication in time of trouble (20 min)

SG: Discussion Question

“Does your community have a plan of what to do if enemy soldiers are approaching or if a natural disaster occurs? If you do, explain it. If you do not, who should be involved in making a plan?” Adapt this to local situations—e.g. terrorist attacks, domestic abuse, different types of disasters, and so on. (8 min)

LG: Feedback and top up with anything in Sections A, B, and C not already stated. (12 min)

5. Preparing spiritually (25 min)

SG: Give each small group one of the scenarios—A through D. If they seem inappropriate, use topics in Section E and find Scripture references. (12 min)

LG: Feedback

Have each group share what they have learned. (13 min)

6. General points (5 min)

LG: Read these aloud together. (5 min)

Tips

1. Unexpected trouble can happen anywhere, so include this lesson if at all possible.

2. If time allows, discuss using local plants to treat illnesses in contexts where pharmacy medicines may not be available in a time of crisis.


LESSON 11A: HELPING PEOPLE

IMMEDIATELY AFTER A DISASTER

Learning objectives


• Work with partners to organize the response immediately after a disaster• Prepare materials or radio programs that would be helpful• Refresh facilitators’ listening skills• Organize listening sessions with victims immediately after a disaster • Organize healing groups with victims for longer-term care



SG: Discussion Questions

1. List the order in which help was needed in northern Bingola.

2. What kinds of emergencies are likely in your area? (5 min)

LG: feedback (5 min)

2. Getting organized after a disaster (25 min)

LG: Discuss and top up. If you have a postcard or flier prepared, go over it with the group. (7 min)

SG: Imagine a disaster just happened in your area. Now:

1. List the partners you work with who you would mobilize after a disaster. How can you build relationships to be ready?

2. What facilitators are in place? 3. What materials are available? 4. How can the response be funded? (10 min)


3. Large group meeting (7 min)

LG: 3A Draw out responses from the group. Top up as needed.

3B and 3C: Present from the front. (7 min)

The Lessons 63


4. Listening to individuals (5 min)

LG: Draw out the three questions from the facilitators. Top up with the new questions.

5. Ongoing care (3 min) LG: Present this material

Closing exercises (35 min)

LG: Imagine a disaster has just happened. Do a role play of listening to individuals after a disaster, bringing out the points in this section. Discuss it. (15 min)

In 2s: have participants practice listening to each other. Switch roles after 7 min. (15 min)

LG: Debrief on the listening experience (5 min)

OptionsLG: Do one of the relaxation exercises: Breathing, Tree, or Container (page 68). (10 min)

FORGIVENESS CEREMONY

Do this as the last session of a healing group or at an advanced equipping session.

Learning objectives

• Give an opportunity for participants to identify any bitterness they are carrying and bring it to the cross

• Give an opportunity for participants to confess sins, especially where they have hurt others, and ask God for forgiveness

• Give an opportunity for participants to identify any heart wounds they are still carrying and bring them to the cross to ask God for healing

• Give an opportunity for groups and individuals to forgive one another


Appendix 1: Materials for healing groups

SAMPLE HEALING GROUP

PARTICIPATION CERTIFICATE

Appendix 1: Materials for healing groups 65

AUTHORIZATION FOR TESTIMONIES & RECORDINGS

Group authorization

Copy this page or prepare a sheet of paper with the text below and ask participants to print and sign their name to authorize use of photos and recordings that include them. Include this page with the session report.

Date:____________ Location:

I authorize the Bible Societies and their partners to use photos and/or voice/video recordings that include me, to promote their trauma healing programs. I’m 18 years old or older.

Name Signature

Individual authorization

If a testimony, photo, or video can be traced to an individual, get permission before sharing. Use this form or create your own with this wording.

Description of the item:

I authorize the Bible Societies and their partners to use the materials in question in their ministry of promoting Trauma Healing programs. The material in question is mine and I willingly give this authorization.

Name: q I am 18 years old or older.

Signature: q Do not use my name.

Date: Place:


CLASSIC TRAUMA HEALING GROUP REPORT

Location

City, State, Country

Host organization

Begin date

End date

Times and duration of meeting (1x per wk for 2 hr, all day Sat, etc.)

Total number of hours the class met

Primary language of sessions

Other languages used

Main facilitator(s)

Assistant facilitator(s)

Lessons taught

q ALL q Core lessons q 1 q 2 q 3 q 4 q 5 q 6 q 6A q 6B q 6C q 7 q 8 q 9 q 10 q 11 q 11A

Number who started

Number who completed

Number who completed who are

____ male

____ female


Number of participants who completed who are

____ Anglican

____ Catholic

____ Orthodox

____ Protestant

____ Other: ___________________

What successes did you experience?

What challenges did you face?

Please provide at least two testimonies, with photos and authorization if possible.

This report is available in .doc format at traumahealinginstitute.org. Send to your program administrator or to [email protected].

http://www.traumahealinginstitute.org

mailto:[email protected]


SUPPLEMENTAL EXERCISES

These three exercises are included in the 2016 expanded international edition of Healing the Wounds of Trauma (Lesson 2 and Lesson 7) and included here for the benefit of facilitators who are using other editions of the book.

BREATHING EXERCISE

People with wounded hearts can be overcome by strong feelings. This breathing exercise can help them learn to take control and relax.

1. Get into a comfortable sitting position.

2. Close your eyes if you like. Think only about your own breathing.

3. Slowly breathe in and out, filling your lungs and slowly releasing the air. Think to yourself, “[Your name], feel yourself relaxing as oxygen is flowing in and out.”

4. Think about being in a quiet place. It might be the beach, or on a hill or in a tree. You might be alone or with someone who cares for you. You might think about Jesus telling you how much he loves you.

5. Continue to think about your breathing, flowing in and out, in and out.

6. After five minutes, open your eyes. Stretch and take one more deep breath.

CONTAINER EXERCISE

Sometimes we can be overwhelmed by what we have experienced but we are not in a situation where we can express how we feel. This exercise can be helpful.

Close your eyes, or just look down at the floor so you are not distracted. Imagine a big container. It could be a big box or a shipping container. Imagine a way to lock the container, like a key or a padlock.

Now imagine putting all the things that are disturbing you right now into the container: big things, small things—everything that is disturbing you. When they are all inside the container, close it. Now lock the container and put the key somewhere safe. Do not throw it away. When you are ready, open your eyes and look up.

Later, find a time when you can get quiet. Take the key, open the container, and take out the things you have put inside one by one. You may want to do this with someone who can help you talk about these things. Do not leave them in the container forever!


TREE EXERCISE

This is an exercise for increasing resiliency. Doing this exercise when you are not under stress will help you be able to relax in times of stress.

Read Psalm 1 (very important!). Now close your eyes (or, if that makes you uncomfortable, just fix your eyes in one place). Imagine that you are a tree.

• What kind of tree would you be? See yourself as that kind of tree.• In your imagination, look around. Is your tree by itself?• What’s the landscape around you?

Now look at the trunk of the tree. • Notice it going down into the earth and up into the branches. Follow the

branches way out into the leaves. (If it’s a fruit tree: See the fruit hanging from the branches).

Now follow the trunk down to the roots. • Look at the roots—is it a long single root or many roots going out? Notice

how the roots are anchored into the ground.• Now watch how the root system is bringing water and nutrients to the

roots and how those nutrients travel up the tree to the branches.

Notice the weather. • Imagine the sun shining on the leaves, making oxygen. Imagine the tree

just being there with just the right temperature and light.• Now the tree needs a bit of water. Imagine a gentle rain slowly coming

down over the leaves and going towards the roots. See the water going down, down into the roots. See the moisture being taken up into the tree.

• Now stop the rain and imagine the sun coming out again to dry the leaves.

Now imagine the tree with some live creatures—perhaps birds, or squirrels or insects going up and down. Watch all the activity.

Now there’s a storm. • Black clouds are beginning to form in the distance. The storm won’t harm

or destroy the tree but the storm will come. • The wind is picking up and the clouds are coming. The branches are shak-

ing. The trunk is moving back and forth. Some of the leaves are falling and some of the fruit is falling.

• Now focus on how the roots are holding firm and allowing the tree to move back and forth in the wind. Let the storm go on a bit. Feel the tree moving back and forth with its roots firmly planted in the ground.

• Now the storm is slowing gradually until everything is still again. • How is the tree feeling after the storm? • Now the sun is returning. The insects and birds are coming back out again.

Things are drying. Imagine the tree coming back to normal.

When the tree is still again, the sun is shining, the insects and the birds are back out again, gradually take some deep breaths and open your eyes.


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