CohabitationChapter 5

Conflict and Conflict

Resolution

Chapter 5

Chapter OverviewI. Homework for Ch 8II. Introductory “Quiz”III. Thought for the week.IV. Consider the FollowingV. Marital ConflictVI. Tools

I. Homework for Ch 8

Record your expenses for a month.

Example:Gas $35.20Snacks 15.65Movie & Dinner 45.00Hair gel 5.40Binder Paper 2.59Note book 4.89Donation to Cancer Fund 5.00Total $113 .73

II. Introductory “Quiz”

True

1. Americans have a taboo against expressing anger.

False

2. The best marriage partners practice the

saying, "Peace at any price.”

False (see p. 138)

3. Love is the opposite of hate.

False

4. Anger is caused by others.

False (see p.

139)

5. The best way to deal with anger is to let it all out.

Let’s talk about it.

6. Anger is a beneficial emotion

True

7. We do not have to get angry, we choose to get

angry.

True

8. Personal taste is a major source of conflict

False

9. When solidifying agreements during

conflict, it’s best to do it immediately.

False

10. All conflicts can be resolved.

True

10. Marital aggression is always accompanied by

verbal aggression (words used to hurt, belittle, or

scare a spouse).

III. Thought for the Week:

It must needs be, that there is opposition

in all things.Lehi, abt. 600 B.C.

III. Consider the Following:

The tops of the mountains, where the sun always shines, are the most barren parts.

A. It’s is Inevitable 1. Perspective 2. Tremendous Trifles

B. Conflict v. ContentionC. Conflict Management

V. Marital Conflict

Put first picture of teapots here

Put second picture of teapots here

A. Marital Conflict is Inevitable 1. Perspective 2. Tremendous Trifles

B. Conflict v. ContentionC. Conflict Management

IV. Marital Conflict

1. Conflict

2. Contention

A. It’s Inevitable 1. Perspective 2. Tremendous Trifles

B. Conflict v. ContentionC. Conflict Management

V. Marital Conflict

C. Conflict management1. Passive: Avoidance2. Assertive: Confrontation and Solution3. Aggressive: Hurting another to get one’s way

3. Aggressive: Marital Aggressiona. Verbal/Emotional b. Minor Physical c. Severe Physical

VI. ToolsA. The Hierarchy of ConflictB. Uncle Boyd’s Advice (see Handout Packet) C. Myths and Facts (see pg. 139)

D. Fair Fighting (see pg. 146)

E. Book Review

A. The Hierarchy of Conflict

Exchange on daily events

Discussion of ideas

Expression of feelings

Need for decision

Decision making

Problem solving

Crisis

See Handout “Decision Making,” by Body K. Packer

VI. ToolsA. The Hierarchy of ConflictB. Uncle Boyd’s Advice (see Handout Packet) C. Myths and Facts (see pg. 139)

D. Fair Fighting (see pg. 146)

E. Book Review

VI. Book ReviewGottman, J. M. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and How You Can Make Yours Last. (Simon & Schuster: North

Killingholme, UK).