Collaborate Or DieCollaborate Or Die

Joanne BodineJoanne Bodine

Neil BodineNeil Bodine

The Bodine GroupThe Bodine Group

Two QuestionsTwo Questions

Why collaborate?Why collaborate?

What does collaboration look like?What does collaboration look like?

Golden BallsGolden Balls

Contestant optionsContestant options

Split, split – 50%/50%Split, split – 50%/50%

Spilt, steal – 100% for stealerSpilt, steal – 100% for stealer

Steal, steal – nothingSteal, steal – nothing

Golden BallsGolden Balls

Think about what you would doThink about what you would do

Pay close attention to the dialoguePay close attention to the dialogue

– What do they say?What do they say?

– What works?What works?

Think about the outcomeThink about the outcome

– Why did it happen?Why did it happen?

– Long term consequences?Long term consequences?

Golden Balls clip 1Golden Balls clip 1

Clip 1: QuestionsClip 1: Questions

What stuck you?What stuck you?

Why the result? Why the result?

What consequences—short and What consequences—short and long term?long term?

To what extent was trust a factor?To what extent was trust a factor?

What would you have done?What would you have done?

Golden Balls Clip 2Golden Balls Clip 2

Clip 2: QuestionsClip 2: Questions

What struck you?What struck you?

Why the different result?Why the different result?

What difference was there in dialogue, What difference was there in dialogue, if any?if any?

What created trust?What created trust?

What was the basic nature of the What was the basic nature of the relationship?relationship?

2 Views of Self-Interest

Independent Interdependent

InterdependenceInterdependence

Interdependence Interdependence

– means I cannot meet my needs means I cannot meet my needs unless your needs are metunless your needs are met

– is fact, not a choice is fact, not a choice

The CHOICE is to compete, ignore The CHOICE is to compete, ignore or collaborateor collaborate

The fundamental question The fundamental question in every relationship and in every relationship and

organizationorganization

Are we interdependent or Are we interdependent or not?not?

If we are interdependent, If we are interdependent, we should act like itwe should act like it

Otherwise we ultimately Otherwise we ultimately harm ourselvesharm ourselves

Elements of Elements of CollaborationCollaboration Recognition of everyoneRecognition of everyone’’s values value

Problem solving and decision Problem solving and decision making based on interests and making based on interests and inquiryinquiry

Common set of values & normsCommon set of values & norms

Deep and honest communicationDeep and honest communication

Elements of Elements of CollaborationCollaboration Complete transparencyComplete transparency

Focus on facts and dataFocus on facts and data

Commitment to work things out in Commitment to work things out in a way that meets everyonea way that meets everyone’’s s interestsinterests

When one tugs at one When one tugs at one thing in nature, he thing in nature, he finds it attached finds it attached to the rest of the to the rest of the

worldworld..John Muir John Muir

Collaborative Problem Collaborative Problem Solving, Decision Solving, Decision Making & NegotiationMaking & Negotiation

Letting Others Have Your WayLetting Others Have Your Way

Alternative ModelsAlternative Models

Position based processPosition based process

Interest based processInterest based process

Position-based ProcessPosition-based Process

My position

Discussion/

Debate

Your position

Prevail, Withdraw

or Compromise

Natural Problem Natural Problem Solving Process Solving Process Understand the problem Understand the problem

Look at underlying concerns Look at underlying concerns

Explore possible ways to solve Explore possible ways to solve

Evaluate possible solutionsEvaluate possible solutions

Choose a specific solutionChoose a specific solution

Interest-BasedInterest-Based ApproachApproach

My information & perspective

Problem Your information and perspective

My needs Needs/interests Your needs

Develop options/ Possible solutions

Evaluate

Commit & plan

Which model is more Which model is more consistent with consistent with

interdependence?interdependence?

Why?Why?

Core Principles of IBPSCore Principles of IBPS

1.1. Everyone has an equal voiceEveryone has an equal voice

2.2. Focus on interests, rather than Focus on interests, rather than positionspositions

3.3. Focus on issues, not peopleFocus on issues, not people

4.4. Defer commitment to the endDefer commitment to the end

Core Principles Core Principles

5.5. Commit to candor & full Commit to candor & full disclosure disclosure

6.6. Inquire, rather than assumeInquire, rather than assume

7.7. Persuade, rather than coercePersuade, rather than coerce

8.8. Assume the best intentionsAssume the best intentions

Contrasting PrinciplesContrasting Principles

Position-based Position-based approachapproach

Use information Use information tacticallytactically

Focus on our Focus on our proposalproposal

Argue to winArgue to win

Interest-based Interest-based approachapproach

Be candid & fully Be candid & fully disclosedisclose

Explore many Explore many possible solutionspossible solutions

Ask questions to Ask questions to understandunderstand

Contrasting PrinciplesContrasting Principles

Proposal-based Proposal-based approachapproach

Connect Connect relationship & relationship & content content

Decide how to treat Decide how to treat the otherthe other

Interest-based Interest-based approachapproach

Separate Separate relationship & relationship & content content

Agree how to treat Agree how to treat each other each other

Stages of IB ProcessStages of IB Process

1.1. DESCRIBE the problemDESCRIBE the problem

2.2. IDENTIFY stakeholders & their interests IDENTIFY stakeholders & their interests

3.3. DEFINE the issuesDEFINE the issues

4.4. CREATE optionsCREATE options

5.5. EVALUATE options based on interestsEVALUATE options based on interests

6.6. COMMIT to solutions and a plan of actionCOMMIT to solutions and a plan of action

Stage 1: Describe the Stage 1: Describe the ProblemProblem Agree on the subject matterAgree on the subject matter Tell the storyTell the story

WhatWhat’’s happening?s happening? WhatWhat’’s working? s working? WhatWhat’’s not working?s not working?

Perceptions need not match Perceptions need not match – The goal is understanding, not The goal is understanding, not

agreementagreement

Stage 2: Identify Stage 2: Identify Stakeholders And Stakeholders And InterestsInterests Identify the stakeholdersIdentify the stakeholders

– Those directly affected by the problemThose directly affected by the problem

Identify their interestsIdentify their interests

Interests Interests

– Are the underlying motivation for what Are the underlying motivation for what we want: needs, desires, fears, we want: needs, desires, fears, concernsconcerns

– Answer the question Answer the question ““Why?Why?””

Stage 2: Identify Stage 2: Identify Stakeholders And Their Stakeholders And Their InterestsInterestsProcessProcess

Identify the direct stakeholdersIdentify the direct stakeholders

Identify your own interests Identify your own interests

Seek to understand othersSeek to understand others’’ interests interests

Explore which interests are separate, Explore which interests are separate,

mutual or interdependentmutual or interdependent

Interest T-ChartInterest T-Chart

StakeholderStakeholder StakeholdStakeholderer

StakeholdStakeholderer

Stage 3: Define the Stage 3: Define the IssuesIssues Identify the issues to resolve Identify the issues to resolve

Stage 4: CreateStage 4: Create OptionsOptions

OptionsOptions are are Possible solutionsPossible solutions

Answer the questionAnswer the question ““How?How?””

Stage 4: CreateStage 4: Create OptionsOptions

ProcessProcess

Use free-flowing brainstormingUse free-flowing brainstorming

No criticism or evaluationNo criticism or evaluation

No one owns an optionNo one owns an option

No one has to defend an option, but No one has to defend an option, but

may need to explain itmay need to explain it

Options do not require agreementOptions do not require agreement

Stage 5: Evaluate Stage 5: Evaluate OptionsOptions

ProcessProcess

Clarify & cluster optionsClarify & cluster options

Compare options to the interestsCompare options to the interests

Modify options to better meet Modify options to better meet interestsinterests

Eliminate options by consensusEliminate options by consensus

Stage 6: Commit To Stage 6: Commit To Solutions And A PlanSolutions And A Plan

ProcessProcess

Create & refine a straw designCreate & refine a straw design

When the straw design When the straw design adequately meets all interests, adequately meets all interests, explicitly commitexplicitly commit

Put the agreement in writingPut the agreement in writing

Develop an implementation planDevelop an implementation plan

Understanding the Problem

• Sifting data and defining the issues

• Identifying and probing interests

Searching For Solutions

• Option generation• Working as a team and

staying on the same page

Reflection• Evaluation• Check the vision• Revisit assumptions,

values, beliefs, and interests

• Focus on learning

Reaching Agreements

• Evaluating and analyzing options (against interests and alternatives)

• Refining/narrowing the list

• Deciding and committing

Cyclical Nature of Problem Solving

Stage 1 TasksStage 1 Tasks

1.1. Tell your storiesTell your stories

2.2. Ask questions to clarifyAsk questions to clarify

Stage 2 TasksStage 2 Tasks

1.1. Identify the stakeholdersIdentify the stakeholders

2.2. Identify their interests Identify their interests

3.3. Explore which interests are Explore which interests are separate, mutual and separate, mutual and interdependentinterdependent

Stage 3 TasksStage 3 Tasks

1.1. Identify the issues Identify the issues

Stage 4 TasksStage 4 Tasks

1.1. Brainstorm optionsBrainstorm options

2.2. Do not comment or evaluateDo not comment or evaluate

3.3. Hold your questions for nowHold your questions for now

4.4. Write down and number optionsWrite down and number options

Stage 5 TasksStage 5 Tasks

1.1. Evaluate each option Evaluate each option

2.2. Eliminate options by consensusEliminate options by consensus

3.3. Revise, combine or add options Revise, combine or add options to better meet the intereststo better meet the interests

Stage 6 TasksStage 6 Tasks

1.1. Create a straw design Create a straw design

2.2. Refine it Refine it Does it address all the issues?Does it address all the issues?

Does it adequately meet all the Does it adequately meet all the interests? interests?

3.3. Explicitly commit when no Explicitly commit when no further refinement is neededfurther refinement is needed

The Interest-based The Interest-based Approach Is Approach Is Not just a method of mutual Not just a method of mutual

problem solving or negotiationproblem solving or negotiation

A template for working togetherA template for working together

A way of thinking about problemsA way of thinking about problems

A template that can be used A template that can be used unilaterally by asking questionsunilaterally by asking questions

– IB AikidoIB Aikido

High above High above the hushed the hushed crowd, Rex crowd, Rex

tried to tried to remain remain

focused. Still, focused. Still, he couldnhe couldn’’t t shake one shake one nagging nagging

thought: He thought: He was an old was an old

dog and this dog and this was a new was a new

trick.trick.

Collaborative Collaborative RelationshipsRelationships

No trustNo trust

No collaborationNo collaboration

No teamNo team

Clip 3: QuestionsClip 3: Questions

What happened?What happened?

Why?Why?

Impact short time & long term?Impact short time & long term?

QuestionsQuestions

How can we lose trust?How can we lose trust?

How can we gain trust?How can we gain trust?

Focus on your own experienceFocus on your own experience

3 Ways To Lose Trust3 Ways To Lose Trust

Untrustworthy behaviorUntrustworthy behavior

Misperceiving othersMisperceiving others’’ intent intent

Ignoring the impact of our Ignoring the impact of our behaviorbehavior

TrustTrust

Can be lost instantaneouslyCan be lost instantaneously

Can only be built or rebuilt Can only be built or rebuilt incrementallyincrementally

Role Of NormsRole Of Norms

StatedStated Norms Norms

– What we What we say say we will dowe will do

– Our Our ““ttalkalk””

OperativeOperative NormsNorms

– What we What we actuallyactually do do

– Our Our ““walkwalk””

The Double StandardThe Double Standard

We are understanding and We are understanding and forgiving forgiving of of ourour own conduct own conduct

– because we know because we know ourour intentintent

We are We are less forgiving of the othersless forgiving of the others’’ conduct conduct

– because we judge only by because we judge only by their their conductconduct and its and its impactimpact on uson us

Tools for Building Tools for Building RelationshipsRelationships

Develop ground rulesDevelop ground rules

Reflect as a group Reflect as a group

Surface relationship issuesSurface relationship issues

Develop Ground RulesDevelop Ground Rules

Decide how you want to Decide how you want to treat treat each othereach other

Capture these norms in Capture these norms in writing writing

Copy & distribute themCopy & distribute them

Reflect As A groupReflect As A group

Periodically take time to Periodically take time to assess assess progressprogress

AskAsk

– What What workedworked? +? +

– What could we What could we improveimprove? ? ΔΔ

– What did we What did we learnlearn??

Surface Relationship Surface Relationship IssuesIssues Conflict is inevitableConflict is inevitable

Relationships Relationships improve or notimprove or not depending on how we depending on how we handlehandle conflictconflict

Failing to surface conflict Failing to surface conflict creates creates distrustdistrust

Addressing conflict constructively Addressing conflict constructively deepens trustdeepens trust

HowHow??

Address relationship issues Address relationship issues separately separately

Describe Describe what happenedwhat happened and and the the impactimpact

Do not ascribe Do not ascribe intentintent

Reaffirm or create new Reaffirm or create new normsnorms

ForgiveForgive and and make amendsmake amends

We awaken in others the We awaken in others the same attitude of mind same attitude of mind we hold toward themwe hold toward them